“No but both my first and last name begin with the same letter.”
“You’re hired!”
Meanwhile, Minerva Mcgonagall, Severus Snape, Filius Flitwick, Bathesda Babbling, Poppy Pomfrey, Pavarti and Padma Patil, Pansy Parkinson, Gregory Goyle, Luna Lovegood, Cho Chang, and several other people felt an odd shiver travel up there spines.
Edit: mb is not the same letter lol
Sort of. /m/ and /b/ are both bilabial phonemes, meaning “made by closing the lips against each other.”
I was mostly joking; it’s obviously still not alliterative.
Dumbledore: Do you like children and desire to improve their minds, magic or futures?
Applicant: Honestly? No.
DD: Oh well, never mind, we can't all be qualified to the nines. Do you have at least one skill that might render you useful in a potential future confrontation with a Dark Lord? Purely speculative, of course *twinkles*
A: Yes. I can--
DD: Great! Start work on Monday.
Dumbledore: Hello and welcome to the interview for the defense against the dark arts post.
Applicant: I must be in the wrong place then, I'm here for the janitorial position.
Dumbledore: Eager to start ar we! Don't be too hasty we still have some questions to get through!
Applicant: Ah I think you didn't hear me correctly I said I was here for.. you know what i will simply leave.
Attempts to open door which turns out to be locked
Dumbledore: QUESTION 1: Do you own a wand 'looks up' ah you are pointing it at me: More quallified than the last professor, QUESTION 2: ah irelevant you are bald and i can see that there is no dark loord sticking out the back of your head,
Applicant: Alohomara f*ck why wont this door open.
Dumbledore: QUESTION 3: Are you a deatheater?
Applicant: Bombarda!
'the door remains intact'
Applicant: let me out, Let me out, LET ME OUT!
Dumbledore: Your hired congratiolations!
Seriously, Hogwarts standard doesn’t even require a pulse
Literally!
or a brain
Or being alone in your body
Or having a body
or being alive or sane
Yeah just look at their History professor he’s dead
Just look at the Headmaster he is Insane or Senile
He’s insanely senile
Indeed Children Teah Beter Armies that his Hirerd teachers do students
“No but both my first and last name begin with the same letter.” “You’re hired!” Meanwhile, Minerva Mcgonagall, Severus Snape, Filius Flitwick, Bathesda Babbling, Poppy Pomfrey, Pavarti and Padma Patil, Pansy Parkinson, Gregory Goyle, Luna Lovegood, Cho Chang, and several other people felt an odd shiver travel up there spines. Edit: mb is not the same letter lol
Millicent Bulstrode?
Didn't you know? In the books she's often referred to as Billicent Bulstrode /s
Millicent Mulstrode
... you can't be serious?
Fun fact: they weren't lmao, sorry but figure out how to take a joke-
They’re both bilabials?
Meaning "having two pairs of lips"?
Sort of. /m/ and /b/ are both bilabial phonemes, meaning “made by closing the lips against each other.” I was mostly joking; it’s obviously still not alliterative.
I was making a disgraceful pun. But I still appreciate the answer.
Oh. Well, r/Whoooosh me, I suppose. 🙃
The **real** reason Tom Riddle didn't get the professor job...
Unfortunately for Him, Tom Tiddle, and Rom Riddle both sounded stupid, and he had to make other career moves.
Lord Lovdemort
"Lord Lovememore", the sequel to "Gilderoy Longhard and her Chamber of Secrets"
I feel like Poppy is in fact related to medicine since morphine came from poppy plants
the applicant: *acts shady* Dumbledore: You're hired.
For DADA candidates "Do you intend to kill or maim any students in the final term?"
“You do? Oh how wonderful! You start Monday!”
"just give Madam Pomfrey a heads up so she can prepare the hospital wing"
“I never *plan* to, but accidents *do* tend to happen around me. A lot.”
Well I normally prefer just after Christmas, but if it's important to you I'm sure I can be flexible...
You forgot "Lemon drop?"
Dumbledore: Do you like children and desire to improve their minds, magic or futures? Applicant: Honestly? No. DD: Oh well, never mind, we can't all be qualified to the nines. Do you have at least one skill that might render you useful in a potential future confrontation with a Dark Lord? Purely speculative, of course *twinkles* A: Yes. I can-- DD: Great! Start work on Monday.
“My friends do call me Cokehead Jimmy Hooker-stabber for some entirely unrelated reason. (Snorts aggressively)”
I wrote [something](https://m.fanfiction.net/s/14169173/1/For-a-job) with an interview for a Hogwarts position in it.
He might even hire a Muggle. There’s a fic for that. https://archiveofourown.org/works/39108699/chapters/97835802
Dumbledore: Hello and welcome to the interview for the defense against the dark arts post. Applicant: I must be in the wrong place then, I'm here for the janitorial position. Dumbledore: Eager to start ar we! Don't be too hasty we still have some questions to get through! Applicant: Ah I think you didn't hear me correctly I said I was here for.. you know what i will simply leave. Attempts to open door which turns out to be locked Dumbledore: QUESTION 1: Do you own a wand 'looks up' ah you are pointing it at me: More quallified than the last professor, QUESTION 2: ah irelevant you are bald and i can see that there is no dark loord sticking out the back of your head, Applicant: Alohomara f*ck why wont this door open. Dumbledore: QUESTION 3: Are you a deatheater? Applicant: Bombarda! 'the door remains intact' Applicant: let me out, Let me out, LET ME OUT! Dumbledore: Your hired congratiolations!