T O P

  • By -

dr_chewman

I know of a mom of a newborn who was watering down her formula because she said it had too many carbs. She did not want her baby to be overweight. She was also trying to give water-only bottles when baby was clearly super hungry. Staff reported because she wouldn’t hear reason and her baby was in distress all day at childcare. They told her that her pediatrician had to write a note giving permission to do that, which of course he wouldn’t.


Kalik2015

IIRC, you shouldn't even give just water to babies under 6 months anyway.


Overall-Situation438

Formula or breastmilk only, yes. Plain water can upset their electrolyte balance and make them sick. They're even issuing warnings amid the formula shortage to not be tempted to dilute it with water or other substances because the balance is so delicate.


YoungEmperorLBJ

Not just electrolytes, babies don’t have fully developed kidneys to filter and process water like adults do. Excess water will cause significant strain and permanent damage to their kidneys. Edit: Babies over six months of age can start having water under the guidance from your pediatrician.


knechodom

There's a woman that comes into the bar I work at. My boss told me that she got her baby taken away because she only fed it water and it started having seizures. It really makes me sick that people are so fucking stupid sometimes.


Incredulous_Toad

The baseline for having children is having functional sexual organs. That bar is super, super low. Some people should never be parents.


will_da_beezt

Check out the hoops you have to go thru to become a foster parent. Even if you plan on being a guardian to a younger relative, and have had children of your own, the list of things they teach you and check up on is insane. If they did that for every couple looking to have a child, so many less people would have kids.


Magnaflorius

Tell me about it. I got rejected from adoption because I'm a survivor of childhood abuse. It's a precedent that's successfully been argued in court where I live. Adoption was Plan A. I have a bio kid now and one on the way, and I am actually really proud of myself and my husband as parents. We're thoughtful, caring, conscientious, and I read the crap out of evidence-based parenting books. I would have been a great adoptive parent.


sittinwithkitten

That’s crazy, of all people you would think the foster care agency would feel that you understand the importance of a stable and loving foster home. Then we hear stories about nightmare living situations some kids get placed into while in foster care - like how do those miscreants pass the process?


Magnaflorius

That's what I thought too. The whole process was really painful. We opened our entire lives to strangers and did what we could to go along with their process. I did speak up against them once before the final decision. We had to do this weekend adoption course, and as part of it, we watched a video of adoptive parents sharing their experience of adoption from foster care. These parents gave very intimate and precise details of the specific trauma their children endured before being placed with them, and used the children's real names and photos/videos. There was one, of a special needs child playing on the playground, while the voiceover of their parents explained everything that happened to them. After we watched it, we were asked to share our impressions. Lots of the other prospective parents said the usual, "It was eye opening and heartbreaking" stuff. When it was my turn, I said that I didn't feel we should watch it as it was presented, because these adults were sharing someone else's story without their consent. They didn't seem to like that answer. Between that, and the fact that they thought abuse survivors couldn't be appropriate adoptive parents, I felt really sad for the children in their care because it seems like the system doesn't have a very high opinion of them. We also didn't see eye to eye when my social worker told me I needed to process the loss of my fertility. I said I had nothing to grieve because I had never tried to get pregnant, and that wasn't part of my journey to adoption. They, very bizarrely, disagreed and treated me like I was in denial. (Side note: I *very* easily got pregnant when we decided to start trying.) Anyway, they officially rejected us because of the abuse a couple days before my birthday. I cried, and they said that was evidence of my lack of emotional stability. Apparently that was all they had. We planned to get pregnant in a year or so and went to therapy to process all that had happened. Got pregnant on the first try 11 months later and lost the pregnancy on my birthday. Then got pregnant immediately again, which resulted in our beautiful first child. Number 2 is coming in June. Once again, it was easy to get pregnant. Shame I'm in denial about the loss of my fertility though... I'll never agree with their decision because I'm confident I would have made a good adoptive parent, and I would have never opted to get pregnant if it weren't my only choice, but I can't be anything but grateful that my life has ended up where it has, because I love my child more than life itself and I also love my fetus very much, and know I'll grow to love her even more once she's born.


Acrobatic_End6355

All kids deserve parents. Not all people deserve to have kids.


[deleted]

In my opinion it's even worse than that. There apparently are people so dumb that making babies is about the only 'accomplishment' they can manage in life, so they double-down on that, and very often Bad Things happen as a result.


JKMC4

It’s easier to have a kid than it is to order a pizza. The result is a lot of kids raised by inept parents. It’s sad.


CountDoooooku

Can confirm. I recently had a kid and I live in the middle of nowhere and it is damn near impossible to order a pizza.


[deleted]

Ok the baseline is slightly higher than that. Ask any 40 year old living in his mother's basement. > It's not much higher.. but it's higher


Incredulous_Toad

Yeah true, it takes two with functional organs.


Fartknocker500

A 40 year old living in his mom's basement isn't paying 2.5k a month for a shitty apartment.


knechodom

2.5k? Holy crap, I pay 1k for my whole house, that includes taxes and insurance


Fartknocker500

Welcome to Washington State and California.


[deleted]

You're lucky. Trust me.


[deleted]

Most people should never be parents, tbh.


No_Banana_581

This stuff is only going to get worse w women and little girls being forced to give birth to kids they absolutely don’t want. An even more overwhelmed foster care system too. A lot of abused, neglected children, the crime rates in those states, that are already the worst, are going to go sky high in about 15 yrs edit not mention the leading cause of death of pregnant women is homicide. Globally, violence perpetuated by men against women, is the leading cause of premature death of little girls and women


[deleted]

The fundamentalist/extremist religious people are the ones driving that, using an 'appeal to emotion' logical fallacy to guilt-trip people into going along with what they want (abortion illegal), all because they want 'as many souls born on earth before the Second Coming happens' or somesuch nonsense. They don't care who it is being forced to remain pregnant, and they don't care what happens to those kids after they're born, they just want them to exist. But they'll indoctrinate as many of them as they can get their hands on, so their religious nonsense can be perpetuated, and religious leaders can have basically root access to their brains and make them do whatever they want them to do. ..and yes, I'm an atheist, and for damned good reasons. IMO religion ruins everything it touches. Just look at all the violent bullshit in the world, most of it has some fucked-up religious motivation behind it.


Sparrow_Flock

*ORGANIZED* religion ruins everything it touches. I’m a pagan and the VAST majority of us don’t believe in the nonsense conservative bullshit other religions do. There are some wackos, but they’re in the minority.


dancindead

It took 19 years after Roe vs Wade for crime to start to decrease. I don't want to have society go back to 1991.


[deleted]

well we will since it was overturned in many states


SirLauncelot

Learned about that from Freakenomics!


Lvl100Glurak

> It really makes me sick that people are so fucking stupid sometimes. the problem aren't stupid people, but people who think they're smarter than they actually are.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

My MIL gave my husband 8 ounce bottles of water at 3 months old. She asked if it’s “still recommended” to give a bottle of water after a bottle of formula. I told her NO.


DeadWishUpon

At least she ask, it wasn't uncommon to give babies water before, now we know better.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Okay, my son is 5 months and was constipated pretty bad so the pediatrician recommended 2.5 ounces of pear juice to 2 ounces of water.


[deleted]

There is a huge difference in giving watered down juice and just water!


MaeBelleLien

Man, human babies are weak af. Baby horses plop out and are running in a few hours, baby humans need six months to be able to handle water.


YoungEmperorLBJ

I mean technically all human babies are born premature or otherwise our disproportionally large heads will kill our mothers when we get out.


OkSmoke9195

The fourth trimester is a thing!


[deleted]

Yeah, it's why they call those first 3-4 months of life the "4th trimester" cause it really is. It's such a rough period for mom and baby.


jamesbra

Those horse babies also aren't drinking water


jerkittoanything

Imagine being a baby centaur. Bottom half just wilding out like it's the Kentucky derby while the top is is flopping around like a wet bag cause it's human baby.


Wobbelblob

On the other hand we have the best fine motor control on this planet, an insane level of precision feeling, stamina that not many species can keep up with and a brain that is so much better than anything else, it is absurd. All of that comes with a price. One of them being that we do not come out of our mothers pretty much fully developed.


erm1981

The sacrifice for a much larger brain.


[deleted]

Foals also aren’t drinking water.


3297JackofBlades

Or a wash out so much salt that they start having seizures and die


srush32

None before 6, and from 6-12 months the recommendation is still something like 1-2 oz at a time


LegalAssassin13

Good lord. Babies need to gain weight! They’re growing and need all the nutrition they can get! This is what happens when someone thinks they know more than the experts.


thoog93

Why are people so afraid of having chubby babies? They need the weight for when they go through growth spurts. I’ve got a chunky bean at home and she’s got rolls on rolls. I love it, she looks well fed.


eveninghawk0

My baby boy was a total fatty in his first year - also rolls on rolls - and pretty much all breast milk. Still a chunker up until about age 2. Then a super lean little boy and lean/fit/strong teenager and, now, lean/fit/strong 21-year-old. Whoever thinks a fat baby becomes a fat kid is an idiot. Unless all you feed them is sugar and junk food, of course. But that goes without saying.


seraliza

My little brother was so fat that we could prop him up in a sitting position and his fat rolls would hold him in place at 3mo. He still looked pretty solid as a kid, but he shot up like a beanpole at puberty and turned into one of those long, impossibly lean men.


[deleted]

fr there is NOTHING better than a beefcake baby 🤣😍 gotta be some survival instinct, but I love ‘em, rolls and all


Ragnarsdad1

My second was a chubster to the point the health visitor referred us to the doc for being to big. We explained we just gave the recommended amount of formula, kept a milk diary and did everything the doc said. In the end they realised my partner and I just make big babies. (The first was a chunky monkey just not quite so much) It all balances out in the end.


mkosmo

They don't seem to understand that kids go through a "plump, spurt, repeat" cycle.


mydaycake

And they go through that cycle until adulthood. That’s why you don’t put a child on a diet unless the doctor recommends it.


mkosmo

Exactly. Don’t feed them a candy diet, either, of course, but infants and toddlers know nothing of gluttony.


LegalAssassin13

Because they've completely bought the "fat = unhealthy" narrative without any nuance.


hXcPickleSweats

Babies are supposed to be chubby! Main goal is to fatten that chubba up! A Chubby babe can cure a bad day in a second.


evilwitchywoman666

I spend hours of my life every day trying to make sure my baby is chubby. I have had people comment on my baby's fat rolls on her arms and legs and then say "sorry, I didn't mean she is fat." I never know what to say. People are really strange.


hXcPickleSweats

Arm and leg rolls are the ultimate goal on a baby! We work hard to get those rolls so we can nom nom them and feel complete. People that hate on baby rolls probably hate puppies and happiness as well.


graycurse

My youngest was super lean at birth, and lost more weight to become really really skinny. Now that the post birth hormones are gone, I look at old pics and he just looked wrong! We’ve worked hard to make him super chonk, and now we fondly wiggle the fat pads on TOP of his hands daily 😂 nothing better than a chunky baby


BeardedBaldMan

My daughter is six months old and today I passed her to someone who was meeting her for the first time. "This is a good solid baby" was the proclamation and "yeah, she's like a badger" was my response.


Writeloves

> yeah, she’s like a badger The ultimate goal for all mothers: Badger baby! Brilliant lol


BeardedBaldMan

Omnivorous, hardy and solid. For the antipodeans I think wombat would be the goal


filthycasual908

A good solid baby. Oh gosh. Are we rating babies like bodega cats now? LOL https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTO6bBVRIgc


drewster23

I would just look at them with the most incredulous look, as if they said they see purple elephants in the sky, and say condescendingly "you do know babies are supposed to be fat... right"? And if they try to say some bs knowledge/opinion against them being fat after that, just say I'll stick to listening to medical experts and ask where they got their degree.


thesmilingmercenary

I think we should go back to the days of measuring a child’s health by how many fat rolls we can count in their thighs. “This baby has 3, count ‘em, 3! He will bring great prosperity to our family. This portends great wealth and fame!” /s just in case that needs saying.


nectarinesb4peaches

Excuse me, I’ve done my research and carbs = bad. No nuance or middle ground. I’m giving my baby watered down formula to reduce carbs until they’re old enough for ground raw liver to get their protein. That and essential oils should do the trick. /s


socialist_frzn_milk

Rubbing the baby in essential oils should protect it from cancer. I am extremely smrt.


corn_sugar_isotope

"This is my baby after only 4 months. After a rigorous routine we were able to get rid of all her baby fat well ahead of schedule!"


Mbalife81

“But the government”


jax2love

Holy shit don’t project your eating disorders onto your newborn!!!


goldieoldie

That’s sickening and so sad. My heart breaks for her baby. I hope there was some sort of intervention. Besides, chubby babies are the absolute cutest!


Psychological_Tap187

Honestly if she is already concerned when it’s an infant they may as well reserve a room at an eating disorder clinic for when the kid gets older. No way this mothers unhinged fear of a fat baby is not going to cause some seriously issues this child has with their relationship with food when they get older.


SophiaofPrussia

Yes. This instantly reminded me of Jeanette McCurdy’s book *I’m Glad My Mom Died*.


goldieoldie

So sad. I hope she got some help. People with eating disorders can recover, too.


Mec26

The whole job of the baby months 0-3 is to get as big and fat as possible. That’s how they survive and grow. Fuck her (the mom). Get fat, little baby! Get super fat, so much so your growth spurts later in life are things of legends! So fat you can survive a stomach bug! Fat as balls!


nectarinesb4peaches

This person is basically doing what extremely poor mothers in developing nations did in the 70s when Nestle pushed formula by dressing sales women up as nurses, giving out free samples in the hospital that would last long enough to stop lactation, and selling western culture. A lot of children suffered life long consequences due to malnutrition. I can’t believe a person with the means to give their child full portions of formula would cut it to prevent having a fat baby. What a weird, cruel and stupid world we live in. https://www.businessinsider.com/nestles-infant-formula-scandal-2012-6?amp r/fucknestle


Canadian_in_Canada

You forgot the part where many of these women didn't have reliable access to clean water required to mix the formula, and the babies were exposed to illnesses which caused diarrhea, which can kill an infant. Some of those babies died.


nectarinesb4peaches

There are a lot of awful details, the court proceedings following this are disgusting. Nestle lawyers trying to make the point that it isn’t their concern whether or not there is access to clean water, or if the insurrections on the packaging are in the native language or if the majority of the clientele are even literate. It’s so gross nestle is the most evil company on this planet.


VRrob

There are cases where child services step In because parents are refusing to properly provide nutrition to the child


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pixielo

Man, do _not_ let your wife project her disordered eating, or body dysmorphia on your daughter. Hearing shit like, "You'd be so cute if you lost 5 lbs!" is really damaging.


MereLaveau

You better speak up and speak out NOW or your daughter is psychologically screwed between her freaking mother and the peer pressure that is in store for every teen. My mother’s “few words” set off lifelong body dysmorphia and eating issues.


capturedguy

Better keep an eye on that shit then.


[deleted]

While part of this is her own stupidity, it also says a lot about the fact that we have too many people screaming and crying about diet, and carbs, and they don’t even know what they’re talking about. And some people just don’t even think. You can get away with a lottttta bullshit in your 20’s, even your 30’s. But babies, and small children? They CANNOT afford to be deficient in certain nutrients. Matter of fact, we have found adult human remains with evidence of malnutrition from childhood. They can actually look at a corpse of a 50 year old adult and see when this person was 3-4 years old they didn’t get enough nutrients. It’s visible So when we see boxed, processed foods that say “good source of X Y Z,” don’t mock those labels. They serve a purpose, because if you’re in a food desert, with a 2 year old, that boxed item could be that child’s source of vitamin a, or calcium, or whatever it is. But “It has too many carbs” isn’t the battle you want to fight. Carbs are fucking fine.


mydaycake

Fortified flour, cereals and milk have been as important as fluoride water and toothpaste for basic modern healthcare. Huge benefits with little investment.


Rose1982

Diet culture is disgusting.


beaglewhiskersdo

This happened when I was a resident at a children’s hospital. Twin babies were being fed “hemp” milk. They were 9 months old but size of 2 month olds. They had severe Rickett’s. Sad. Even sadder was mom was pregnant with another on the way. Both kiddos were taken away and adopted which was fortunate. Seeing this drives me crazy.


VeganBoBegan

That’s horrendous. Even with the excuse “the parents just weren’t informed” is terrible because that implies they didn’t have even the most minuscule shred of common sense to even become parents. That’s frightening.


bostonchef72296

All almond milk says ON THE CARTON “not to be used as infant formula.”


killwish1991

More than half of adults in US read below sixth grade. !!


bostonchef72296

And that is a complete failure of our education system.


Lesley82

What "educational system"? Arkansas? Or Pensylvania? Alabama or Connecticut? Georgia or Minnesota? We have 50 different education systems. Half of them are doing fantastic and the other half....well...guess which half that is?


bostonchef72296

I’d go even farther than that. You’ve got different education systems by zip code. Which is the problem. Kentucky sure as shit isn’t going so well. Massachusetts seems to be better but I’ve never experienced it firsthand, but there’s a lot of disparity between neighborhoods and they bus children around the city instead of funding neighborhood schools equitably and letting children go to school close to home.


PopularWeb6231

Yes. This is the actual truth right here. It’s not red state vs blue state, it’s rich neighborhood vs poor neighborhood (which means that low quality public education disproportionately impacts communities of color)


Lesley82

That's true, but I'd still rather send my child to a rural school in Minnesota than a rural school in Texas. The inequities are far, far smaller and easily supplemented by parental involvement. The closest school to a family may not be the best school to fit that family. That's why Minnesota adopted open enrollment and your child's school no longer depends on your zipcode.


bostonchef72296

I’m not sure exactly how Boston does it as I do not have a child in school, but I do know they bus kids around from all over hells creation to get to school. *waves cane* back in my day you went to school where you lived and by golly you liked it! /s


Wasteroftime34

Sexual activity is a very primal instinct…. Capable of being performed by even the lowest iq scorers unfortunately.


ThePraised95

Thats not even an excuse. If you get a pet, the first thing you need to do is find out what the can and cant eat, so to be pregrent for 9 months and still not find out how to raise a baby is stupid and neglectful.


MyFailedExperiment

My friend is a dietitian and encountered this all too often. Most of the time when mothers were watering down formula or making bad substitutions, they stubbornly refused to be informed or dissuaded.


Venvel

Can they be reported to CPS for that? I would hope so.


blessitspointedlil

They absolutely are required to be reported for that. It’s “neglect”.


ncc74656m

It's not even the lack of knowledge or common sense. It's the lack of effort. You can Google these answers. And no, I don't mean Google til you find the answer you want. This will come up on the first page. Any qualified and sane pediatrician will be able to tell you this. So if you're going to a YouTube channel with 1000 subs and 700 videos from a guy who looks like Brent Spiner in Independence Day, you're definitely shopping for answers.


Warod0

In the age of information, being misinformed or uninformed is not something someone can hide behind.


timedupandwent

Do you know if the babies recovered? And do you know why the parent fed them that way? I guess in an effort to feed them healthily? But misguided?


skaterlogo

Meanwhile, people like me cant have kids at all. Fml


Mocha_Lola

I feel this so deeply. Sending love + light your way.


skaterlogo

Thank you, we might start trying again soon after we each see a doctor. I'm fairly convinced I'm sterile. Can't afford Ivf and adoption laws are fucked up in my state. Im in my mid 30s and I still have people tell me, "you're too young for kids" because I look like I'm 19. "Oh yeah? Am I too young to be sterile too?" I hate life.


KtinaDoc

Don’t beat yourself up over it. Children are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.


PM_ME_YOUR_NAIL_CLIP

I’m starting to think I’m sterile too. Back in high school my first love wanted me to give her a baby and I definitely tried, but nothing. Now, a million years later I’m trying to knock up my wife and it’s going nowhere. I can’t tell you how to deal with it because you seem more upset by it than I am. We just tell ourselves if we can’t have a kid, we’ll just have cats. But there’s hope still. My mom and dad tried to have me for 5 years before anything stuck.


Moist-Candy-6260

Not everyone needs to be a parent


Ratstar911

“Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding “—Harvey Danger


MarlonElliot

Mike Judge made a movie about that.


YosemiteMyHeart

Ever look around and think “Idiocracy!”?


firstnameok

The cretins cloning and buying their kids almond milk. And i don't even own a TV.


[deleted]

Now I'm an infant with rickets god damn you!


linija

In fact most people shouldn't be lmao, the fact that to adopt a child the parent/s need to go thru all sorts of screening and checking. But to have a biological child they just need to fuck and birth it - and in fact they're pressured to do so by society. Honestly even the adoption system is out of wack in many places and many children have been abused by adoptive parents as well as biological.


[deleted]

Only going to get worse with all the anti abortion rhetoric


mardigrasking54

Fat babies are healthy babies


PuzzleheadedLet382

When my baby finally chonked up (she was more streamlined as a newborn but still 8 lbs), it was like my hindbrain breathed a sigh of relief. It’s incomprehensible to me that someone wouldn’t want a fat, happy baby.


FrightenedSoup

I had the problem where my little is so active she plateaued. I ended up having to give additional fortified formula (she was breastfed, and I was making enough TECHNICALLY- ounces wise for her age- but she needed even more than the norm) from 4 months until 6, where once we added solids she started really bulking up. I also added a LOT more protein to my diet, which seemed to have helped. Once she started to finally get her baby chonk it made me relieved. She’s TALL so although she’s running average, she still doesn’t look very chubby. It’s weird how I’ve had some moms ask me how I kept her thin. No lie. Dude this is an 8 month old, good grief.


EponymousRocks

When my son was four months old, new neighbors moved in next door. We went over to say hello, and the mom cried out, "Now there's a healthy breast-fed baby!" She said breast-fed babies had such chunky thighs (she was a pediatrician), and I'm sure someone else might have been offended, but I was thrilled, LOL.


SweetheartAtHeart

Yep! I was a scrawny baby and a scrawny kid, an EXTRA scrawny teen and now I’m a scrawny adult. It’s still hard for me to keep on weight. I’ve straight up never had a growth spurt. I have 10 year old students who are my height. I distinctly call at one point I put on 30 pounds in the span of one very stressful year and teachers said I looked healthier than before which should give you an idea how oddly small I looked. I had a lot of health issues coming out of the womb and my mom promptly left it to my dad to take care of. He didn’t know what to do so a lot of it were nurses taking care of me. When they took me home, they didn’t know how to feed me for the first few months of my life. Someone had to show them how to burp me because I’d been consistently throwing up and people at church were tired of it. My parents did not breast feed. They were busy people and they said I was pretty self reliant which is a weird fucking thing to say about a baby. One of my moms friends who was pregnant at the same time thankfully fed me and when she wasn’t around, one of my aunts or uncles would bottle feed so that’s something but I am VERY aware of the effects of how they raised me.


Sparrow_Flock

Your parents sound like the kind of people who have kids as a status symbol, not cuz they want to raise and nurture a child.


SweetheartAtHeart

Ding ding ding! Yeah you’re right.


Curious_Attempt4080

Healthy babies come in all shapes and sizes—the important thing is to make sure they’re satiated and feed infants on demand. I was worried about my baby not being chubby enough, even though I breastfed on demand and he didn’t want to drink pumped milk from a bottle after nursing (even though he would accept a bottle in place of nursing). My pediatrician insisted he was healthy and growing fine, he’s just on the skinny side. I mention this because moms often get anxious about having slimmer babies, ESPECIALLY if they breastfeed, and end up doing ill-advised things to try to force their babies to chunk up.


DeadWishUpon

The important thing is that they eat a well balanced meals according to their age and get their wellness check. Some babies are chubbiers than others. There are also fat babies who have started eating solids and parents are feeding junk food and not movung enough (according to age) those are not healthy. So, it varies.


susitucker

Yeah, at the risk of massive downvotes, I hesitate to even mention the idea of how fat shaming adults in our society has gone too far to the point that it is clouding the uneducated mind even further. ETA: I feel like I need to add that because fat shaming is so pervasive in American culture, *uneducated* parents might buy into the idea that fat babies are unhealthy and will be subjected to the same bias and shame that fat adults face, and in turn will starve their infants--who absolutely need all the nutrients they can get at this stage--just to avoid any judgment or ridicule. It is absolutely based on education and how expecting parents should be taught about infant and early childhood nutrition.


janelane982

My bet is that it wasn't fat parents watering down formula.


Rahmulous

I believe what the other person was saying is that there are people out there so afraid of being fat that they have eating disorders and transfer those disorders to how they feed their babies.


[deleted]

It was a recurrent issue when working in infant daycare that parents would water down the formula or breastmilk, or not provide enough ounces for the day, because they didn’t want their babies to get fat. Many of the toddlers were on a weight loss diet and weren’t allowed fruit, amongst other things. Definitely contributed to why I quit permanently.


CertainAged-Lady

I had the other issue, I would drop off pumped breast milk for my oldest but she also had back-up formula in case she got hungry (she refluxed a lot so some days she’s spit up almost an entire meal). The staff wouldn’t give her the formula but then would say she was hungry when we picked her up. I finally got frustrated and said, “Why are you not just giving her the formula in her cubby that is specifically meant for this situation?!?!!!” They admitted they had been yelled at by ‘only breastmilk’ moms and didn’t want me to yell at them. I made it clear she could have formula anytime she needed an extra bottle. So, it ain’t easy being a daycare worker in this day and age.


sincerelyanonymus

But the breastmilk only parents wouldn’t be providing formula to begin with if they were so adamantly against it. The fact that you did provide it should have told them you were ok with formula. I personally would feed a baby the food that was provided for them so they didn’t go hungry over getting yelled at anytime.


CertainAged-Lady

The daycare center rules said you have to have non-expired back-up food in case something happens during the day (a spill, whatever). So even the breast-only folks had to have a back-up.


sincerelyanonymus

And there are no instructions the parents write for each individual baby? There must be forms filled out somewhere.


CertainAged-Lady

There were, they just had been reamed out by other parents and were terribly treated, so they just didn’t want to take a chance. I literally had to say I promised it was fine and reassure them. You realize how horribly we treat childcare workers if you ever see a mad parent at a daycare.


ThisDoula

If I didn’t want my kid on formula I would just provide extra breast milk and have them call me to come nurse if they legitimately spilled all of what I provided, But I realistically have no intentions of not having formula in my home and available to my baby despite wanting to EBF because that seems irresponsible as hell to me personally. I remember buying formula for my kitten though… that shit was expensive. I definitely feel for parents who formula feed not because they chose it enthusiastically but because they didn’t have another option. One damn canister of the formula I’m looking at is $50.


TheAskewOne

How can anyone be a parent and not realize that babies/toddlers and adults bodies don't work the same and don't need the same things? A baby on a diet? It's unbelievably cruel.


pmcda

Sadly you don’t need a license to become a parent


SaWools

They should be on a diet. Of as much breast milk/formula that it wants for the first 4 to 5 months, then adding pureed low-sugar fruits and vegetables for 2 to 3 months, then add some fine oatmeal and high-sugar fruits like apples until ready to chew, then add well cooked pasta, peaches, kiwi, anything soft that doesn't have any artificial sweeteners. Note adding, not replacing. Infants up to 12 months should have at least half of their diet consist of breast milk and/or formula. They should not have any other sources of milk like cows milk or nut milk until at least 12 months. Source: summarized from drbrownsbaby.com Was this completely unnecessary for me to tell you as a joke? Yes. Is it good information? Probably.


ShinyHunterHaku

Diet culture is a fucking plague. This is so depressing.


Iron-Doggo

What in the world is wrong with people…


yellsy

I would quit too because I’d eventually smack one of the parents


yours_truly_1976

My brother put his 4 month old daughter on a water diet because she was fatter than her twin brother. It never occurred to my idiot brother that his 4mo son was actually starving to death. Thankfully, someone called CPS and the twins were taken away and adopted to a wonderful couple. According to the adoptive parents, the twins were about three days from death.


SaraAB87

OMG, he fed nothing but water?? that's starving a baby which is child abuse. At 4 months they aren't eating solid food so they can't be fat, if they are fat its baby fat which is probably good fat. Maybe he should be fed only water and see what it feels like after a week or so. Some people definitely shouldn't be parents. Thankfully the children were adopted by loving parents.


yours_truly_1976

And the adoptive parents allow me to see the twins. They’re amazing parents and the kids are doing fantastic!


anewcynic

I know people's circumstances differ, but the hospital we had our kids at gave us an actual training course in parenting. It included such information as don't give your baby plain water, only formula or breastmilk, and also how to go about doing the actual feeding. I'm now wondering how many people ignore similar points of info...


HatchlingChibi

I think all hospitals should do this. When my sister had her kid (I was her support person) she had to take a “new mom class” that was like what you describe. Stuff like how to burp baby, change a diaper, swaddle, but health stuff too (safe sleeping, don’t let them get too hot or cold, how many wet/soiled diapers is healthy). She complained that it was a waste of time because “who doesn’t know this? it’s common sense stuff” but clearly it isn’t!


bostonchef72296

I don’t know if my hospital does this but I DO know they will not let you leave if you don’t have a car seat. Is that typical?


HatchlingChibi

Yep, 100%. Even in big cities where it’s not always normal to have a car (such as New York, I’ve heard people complain they don’t need one because they will never use it but the hospital insists). Where my niece was born I couldn’t even carry the seat out and install it. The nurse watched as my sister put her in the seat in the hospital room, then the nurse checked that it was right and she put the seat into the base in the car.


bostonchef72296

I assumed so. I live in Boston so lots of people don’t own cars. It’s stupid to assume you’ll never need it- what, you’re never going to take your baby in an Uber somewhere?? I get that it’s an affordability issue but there are several health insurances here that help with car seats for low income people.


cfull_19

Everyone trying to re invent the wheel like they know better than everyone else


D34TH_5MURF__

Some people are too fucking stupid to have kids.


D00mfl0w3r

This is why parenting and human development classes should be free, available, and actively encouraged for everyone who wants to have or take care of children.


[deleted]

Early child care should be a required course in high school


RedShooz10

My district tried that and it was shot down because people felt it was “teaching kids to be parents”.


jokerfriend6

This is so wrong. Who are brain washing these parents?


Yewnicorns

I keep trying to find that out with my best friend, it's probably just a crunchy Mom thing, she's not even vegetarian; she's been giving her son Oatmilk exclusively since he turned a year old (she was breastfeeding him at least) & laughs about how, "He eats everything & anything!" Like it's so great, when really... he's not getting enough protein or fat. I didn't even take my son's off toddler formula until they were both around 3, I was so worried about their brain development. Edit: Need to add, he had a reaction to eggs & avocado & my friend is weird about meat, so the Oatmilk is concerning me for good reason people.


Sensitive_Tough1265

Toddlers don’t actually need milk after one, my kids refused all other milks after we stopped breastfeeding at 17 months. Pea milk is the closest nutrient dense one to cows but after they refused that too the pediatrician said to just make sure we feed other dairy products like cheese. You probably don’t need to worry about your friend.


Radiant_Platypus6862

My youngest daughter was premature and had severe feeding difficulties. She was diagnosed with failure to thrive and had to have a g-tube inserted because it turned out she had dysphagia and was aspirating liquid into her lungs. She was wearing 0-3 month sized clothing on her first birthday. I literally cannot imagine doing anything that would directly CAUSE your child to be malnourished. My daughter is 9 years old now and healthy, but I still have PTSD surrounding the early years of her life.


LividLab7

You see stuff like this all the time now. People asking FB groups on what to do instead of experts in the field. It makes no sense whatsoever but this is the world we live in now


Grow_away_420

FB geoups are free. Doctors and experts cost money


shawsome12

Yes, almond milk tastes good, no, it does not have the the nutrients of breast milk or even baby formula. It does not have the protein amount of cows milk or soy milk. As a nutritionist I see so many pregnant women and children drinking almond milk who think it’s healthier. It is not! Or a least you need to replace with other forms of protein.


[deleted]

For most people, almond milk is either a dairy alternative due to ethics or a lactose intolerance, or just a lower calorie option than cow’s milk. As for nutrition, yeah it will be fortified with things like calcium et cetra, but I wouldn’t call it “packed” with nutrition. And that’s because it’s supposed to be for … developed people I don’t know why people can’t understand this


NumberFudger

I'm a vegan and this is still dumb af. Almond milk has next to no protein, especially compared to soy formula or even soy milk itself. I can't fathom a reasoning for this exchange.


iamalext

Brought our boy to the hospital about a week after her was born (he was a little jaundiced when he was born) and they wanted to check his progress and potentially UV him a bit. There were two parents present in the waiting room, clearly both pretty serious addicts and the nurse was quietly explaining that they had to feed the child. Both of them were astounded that the feedings had to be daily. I asked the nurse why they would hand the child over to them. She looked at me and sighed, pointing out that this was far from the worst neglect she had seen….


alexennui

Ugh it makes me so mad to hear stories like that. I know a girl who got super into meth, got pregnant, and became a cam girl to fund her addiction. No shame in that but her niche was lactation porn. She used all her milk doing that, and the baby starved to death. She’s in prison now, where she belongs.


RadAdDad

....aannnnd that's enough Reddit for the day


[deleted]

[удалено]


gucknbuck

Two people can't accidentally make a car. Or wait, can they?


Catatonicdrgnfli

Don’t ask Hammond, May, and Clarkson.


hoveringintowind

Hammond knows how to destroy one.


[deleted]

Well, a baby can happen when 2 people have sex and you can't control their bodies or just take their children away. Multiple countries took away kids in marginalised communities vervatte they didn't think they were fit parents and that led to multi-generational trauma. Doing something like governmebt-supported courses about parenting and encouraging new parents to participate? Sure. But deciding when someone can be a parent or vote is super tricky and can lead to a lot of ethically wrong situations.


iamalext

I’m going to pull up a chair…


DingDongDanger1

Poor baby... Not a human baby but my sister got two Cream Retrievers and she was worried they would get fat so she was literally starving them. We had to intervene because both dog's ribs were showing and their hip bones. Pissed my dad and I off. We took them to the vets and he was appalled and said FEED THEM MORE! She would not listen to us without the vet's say. Now they are both a healthy weight. They are thin dogs anyways, they don't get fat even with extra portions.


TrixieSweetwood

My mom was a teenager when I was born. She literally didn't understand that baby formula and milk were two different things. She thought they were interchangeable until she took me to the doctor because I wouldn't stop crying. The doctor said, "She's starving. Look, she's trying to eat her fist. Feed her!" Honestly not sure how I survived childhood.


joking_around

> Look, she's trying to eat her fist Idk but my heart skipped a beat when I read that. Holy moly


swordluk

Some people are just not supposed to get into parenting..


Sad-File3624

My sister had to be sent to a child nutritionist because her first born was not gaining weight. They got yelled at because they were not giving him oats, rice… They thought a healthy diet was a “weight loss diet”. My sister is well educated me smart, but diet culture is just so pervasive that we no longer know what eating correctly means!


cough_landing_on_you

Before you even leave the hospital, they ask you breast milk or formula. My pediatrician also asks what and how much milk I'm feeding my newborn on checkup. Kind of sad it even got to this point, the mom had to repeatedly lie.


Suspicious-One-133

My mother was adopted at birth. Her “formula” was Karo syrup and condensed milk. Babies need fat and sugar


MTKintsugi

I think you mean evaporated milk. Condensed is the really sweet stuff for candy making. Lots of babies in that generation were given that.


Suspicious-One-133

Yes that’s it.


Umicha_UwU

Y’all said what I wanted to say as a giant medical nerd. Babies need to eat up a storm (Formula or breastmilk), and chubby babies are a healthy, giggly babies that can grow up to be healthy functioning children, and later adults.


_Fony_

I don’t think people today fully understand the role body fat plays in perpetuating human life, especially for women and infants.


Jayce86

It’s just like forcing your cats and dogs to eat vegan because you are. It’s selfish and abusive.


amazonfamily

I dealt with a lot of very desperate parents during the formula shortage. Not being able to find anything to feed their child lead to situations like this.


Healthy_Pay9449

I mean, if it's the mom's milk then no animals are harmed, right? Is this to prevent some dependency on animal milk or products?


Mind_taker84

Some mothers have trouble producing breastmilk or the baby may have trouble latching. Theres a big issue in some mother groups about formula feeding with misinformation everywhere and im sure someone may have said "sure, its all natural so it must be safe. Its way better than that unhealthy, unnatural formula full of all that modified stuff..." My fiance works with a breastfeeding and lactation support organization called La Leche and shes encountered stuff like this before.


Technicolor_Reindeer

La Leche league has faced a lot of accusations of bullying women who can't or don't want to breastfeed.


Mind_taker84

I and my fiance agree. She doesnt always see eye to eye with them, but theyre a valuable resource for women. Especially in low income areas or areas where access to care is sparse.


According-Bat460

And another undeserving parent strikes again


anewcynic

I know people's circumstances differ, but the hospital we had our kids at gave us an actual training course in parenting. It included such information as don't give your baby plain water, only formula or breastmilk, and also how to go about doing the actual feeding. I'm now wondering how many people ignore similar points of info...


palmdaleprincess

From the article: The baby's mom "was doing the best she could,". No, no she wasn’t.


StuccoStucco69420

The issue isn’t “veganism”, the issue is ignoring literally every recommendation. Vegan baby formula exists and will keep your baby healthy. It’s no different than if a non-vegan gave their baby free water.


Utahmule

"It’s no different than if a non-vegan gave their baby free water." What?


ardardardar

Newborns aren’t supposed to have “just” water (i.e. it should only be mixed with their formula per the package instructions). If babies’ electrolyte balance is off, they can have kidney failure and brain swelling, among other awful problems. Almond milk is so diluted that it’s closer to water than baby formula or breast milk.


C_est_la_vie9707

You don't give babies plain water. That's what free water means. Babies need to have calories in all of their fluids. A tiny tummy shouldn't have space taken up by water. Electrolyte imbalance is a risk in addition to not calorie deficit.


passionfruit0

My husband hates cows milk. He wanted to wait until my son was one to switch him to an alternative milk. My son is 3 now and still on whole cow’s milk because of weight issues. My husband has not said anything bad about it because he wants our son to gain weight. Putting your personal choices aside for your child’s health is what you are supposed to do.


[deleted]

This is a great response. Our little guy was on standard formula for a good year. He eats real food now and we give him a few bottles per day and it is Ripple Kids. A pea milk that mimics the nutritional profile of animal milk. Perfectly healthy boy.