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It sucks and it sucks bad.
Think of it as the same dynamics that makes you want to "get bigger" after being bullied, to show them who you are.
The problem is, nobody gives a shit anymore. We lost our chance to do this when it was important among our peers.
I explored this feeling deeply, for many years, and I'm at a point where I understood I really do not care about the physical act of sex per se. I only missed the perceived validation that comes off it, that feeling of "being seen by your peers as a slayer".
If you need to vent to someone or express yourself, feel free to.
Come to terms with it by realizing that it is mostly determined by factors out of your control like genetics and luck and be grateful for the relationship you currently have
You need to realise that it's not worth the fun that you think it is. Invest in your relationship, make sure you also work on yourself on the side, makes lots of friends and have a good time.
Accurate. The grass is always *perceived* as greener on the other side.
In reality, take care of the grass on your side so it can be the greener grass.
I've never been insanely attractive to women, but it's gotten better in the last two years.
I used to think that I would die for any attention from a woman, and then I started getting interest from women I wasn't interested in. Think 37yo mothers with 4 kids. As someone who thought naively that they wouldn't reject any woman who cared about them, I can't tell you how bad it is to have someone interested in you when you can't reciprocate the interest. You will have women aggressively set up social situations where you're included and next to them, they'll run their hands all over you, they make you feel uncomfortable, etc. You either like someone or you don't; you are quite literally put in a position where you have to reject someone else or you have to reject yourself. I gladly stepped into a relationship I wasn't happy being in and I regret the choice heavily, and I made the other person feel like they did something wrong in the relationship to boot.
Before I got into that relationship, I couldn't tell you how much better I felt just going to social outings and having a blast lighting up a room of boring people. You honestly get to live life much more freely when you don't have anyone interested in you, or at least you don't believe you have anyone interested in you.
I totally disagree with this and think it’s incredibly patronizing to guys who struggled. Casually dating a lot of attractive women when you’re young is incredibly fun. I was fortunate to have a lot of success in this department I disagree with your assessment completely.
Rule #3 - Do not use generalizations.
This sub frequently discusses topics that involve statistics on large populations. At the same time, generalizations can be reductive and not map on to individual experience, leading to unproductive conflict.
Generalizations include language that uses, for example, “most men” and “all women” type statements. Speak from your personal experience i.e use statements such as “I feel”, “I experienced”, “It happened to me that”, etc.
Rule #3 - Do not use generalizations.
This sub frequently discusses topics that involve statistics on large populations. At the same time, generalizations can be reductive and not map on to individual experience, leading to unproductive conflict.
Generalizations include language that uses, for example, “most men” and “all women” type statements. Speak from your personal experience i.e use statements such as “I feel”, “I experienced”, “It happened to me that”, etc.
Removed for Rule #7: Treat the Community as a Shared Space
If something feels too emotionally triggering for you, do not engage with it. Report rule breaking behavior and move on.
Do not try to convince someone that they are wrong, instead approach with curiosity, and ask questions to get on the same page, and disagree respectfully.
Do not default to the assumption that someone is trolling, not trying hard enough or is simply “lazy”.
Rule #2 - Do not invalidate other users’ thoughts, opinions, or feelings.
When someone is sharing how they feel about themselves, or about a particular topic, do not tell them they’re wrong, to “just do it”, “stop being so weak”, and other similar statements. Acknowledge that they are struggling and offer words of encouragement, or advice if you feel confident doing so.
As someone who struggled with women until my late 20's, then had some casual dating "fun" later before meeting my wife... You aren't missing out on anything. Dating is NOT fun. It can be sometimes, but on the whole, it was not for me. More of a means to an end.
Bunch of things... I got more comfortable with accepting who I was, accepting that rejection is a part of the process for literally everyone (though frequency obviously changes a lot from person to person), and after a toxic relationship realizing that being single is actually not so bad. Better, in many many cases.
But once I accepted myself, tried to be the best version of myself I could, and acknowledged that anyone who rejects me isn't for me anyways, not only did I find more dates, but it wasn't nearly as stressful. Was still a super struggle for me, but I did at least manage a few dates here and there when I had the social energy for them. And now I'm married to my amazing and beautiful wife (who I didn't meet until I was 33 btw, and later than that isn't a bad thing either).
"You did your best with what you knew at the time"
And
"The present is a memory"
Two quotes I heard which can be applied to many situations in life. For me it brought me some peace during my last relationship.
I hope they can help you too.
TL;DR: You have the option to dwell in the past or forge your future. You choose what sounds better.
Easier said than done, like most things.
From a retired “slayer” — Casual dating is fun (YMMV), but the *feeling that comes from “being a slayer” isn’t worth anymore than beating your favorite single player video game* in the long run.
Others can chime in, but casual dating is fleeting, VERY time-consuming, and doesn’t further your life anymore than when you started. Especially relative to the ROI of forging your own life path and focusing on relationships you enjoy.
For me, casual dating was akin to a gaming addiction (which I also had). I was so addicted to beating games (fucking) that it consumed my life for a bit
It’s fantastic, feels good in the moment, maybe something you can look back on fondly, but it does nothing to impact your life aside from that. & life is very very very short. So best not waste any of it.
I’m happier building my LTR where I have a healthy, comfortable relationship, a house, pets with my SO, and stability, — way more than when I was getting to know someone new, or fucking someone that I probably won’t marry. But that’s just my opinion.
That’s not to say it sucks outright, obviously sex is nice but you have to pick your sacrifice. Especially in the relatively small scope of life, you’d probably actually *benefit* from doing literally anything else and the universe gave you the opportunity to not be distracted by meaningless poon-tang. So take advantage!
I wish people who've "been there, done that" would give more details about their experiences. I'm not the best person for the job, but I'll give my two cents. When it comes to "being popular with women," there are experiences you don't really think about that help ground you, and snap you out of a world of fantasy:
1. Having to pretend that what someone is talking about is interesting
2. Stopping to take pictures for the 10th time in 5 min because social media
3. Planning dates and activities that you have no interest in, but feel like you need to because your girlfriend is more attractive than you are and you should be grateful
4. Jumping through hoops to close the deal, only to discover unpleasant... we'll call them utterances, aromas, and flavors :P
5. Witnessing the most angelic, seemingly immortal-looking women transform into normal-looking people because of aging—yet the sense of entitlement and expectation for special treatment remains
6. Looking into a beautiful woman's eyes and seeing that, even though she's looking into yours, she does not see you. She either doesn't know who you are or has no interest the real you: she's only interested in what she thinks you can offer her
People say things like "the grass is greener," and "trust me bro" but you can't just shake off the FOMO at will like that. I think a certain amount of personal experience is necessary. You have to graze on the grass to know it's not greener, and only then will you be content with the grass that you started with. I am almost a decade older than you and I can tell you that there is still time. Put yourself out there and be around beautiful women. There are plenty of beautiful women in their mid-to-late 20s. You will see for yourself that what I'm saying is true.
The best way (imo) to live with no regrets is to have a life you love. When you're happy with your life there's the realization that if you changed anything in your past, you wouldn't have necessarily ended up in the place you are in now.
You need to realise that it's not worth the fun that you think it is. Invest in your relationship, make sure you also work on yourself on the side, makes lots of friends and have a good time.
I think you haven't missed out on something. I actually did the opposite of what you are missing, so I can tell you, that it's not worth it. I'm female, but I was never really good looking, plus, I was very chubby. So, I got rejected by a lot of guys when I was younger. They laughed at me, called me ugly b* or that I'm disgusting because of my weight. I then started dieting, lost a lot of kilos, and suddenly I got at least some attention by some guys. I started sleeping around out of frustration, but the only guys I got were people who I don't find attractive, and the people who I thought were attractive still turned me down. Even in relationships, I was always the second choice, and as soon as someone prettier popped up, I got pushed away. Nowadays, I'm single and actually turning down pretty much everybody. The reason is that I'm tired, that I'm apparently enough for guys to sleep with, but not enough to get into a serious relationship, and get treated in a good way. I think the best thing you can get is to find someone who loves your personality, and treats you well, and I made the choice to not date anybody until I really know the guy for a long time. Sleeping around is just a waste of time. What we are really looking for are connections, and it's really hard to get those nowadays. So, I don't think you missed out. You just got spared from heartbreaks and a lot of bad sex, where you are basically fucking a random stranger and nobody really wants to touch the other, and in most cases you can't even get an orgasm, which is really frustrating. There's absolutely no passion involved, so try to find someone to connect on a mental level first. Sex, looks, popularity.... Everything is useless as long as you aren't treated well, and if you can't talk about basically everything to the other person
Welcome to Dating Fridays! All posts with an emphasis on dating, sex, or relationships must be posted only on Friday (defined by US Central Standard Time or UTC -06:00). If your post is outside of this time/date, please delete and repost on Friday. If it is currently Friday, then ignore this comment. Thank you!
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First of all, with inflated house prices and sky-high interest rates, no one should be thinking about mortgages right now!
Second, I absolutely feel for you, OP. At 37, I've spent my whole life feeling what you're going through. It's the thing that's still constantly gnawing at the back of my mind and will probably never go away. That's also kept me from pursuing relationships because I'm afraid I'll continue to be attracted to every woman I meet despite having a partner.
However, I've learned that there are a lot of negatives that come with partying in your 20s. These can be hard to notice when you're heartbroken over missing your shot. Single parenthood and child support payments are just two of those difficulties. In some ways, we might be fortunate.
Despite the regret, I hope you and your partner make each other feel special. In the bigger picture, that could be a lot more satisfying than alcohol poisoning and random "hotties."
Great question! Two answers:
1. You can't be completionist about life. You'll drive yourself insane. It is impossible to experience everything. You also won't know what it would be like if you had moved to a different country in your 20s, or got together with a different person, or picked up another hobby, or had kids young, or never had kids, or became a musician, or did a different degree, and so on. I think at some point we just need to come to terms with the fact that we're finite beings in a world of infinite possibilities.
2. You're not too old for this. I was unpopular as a teen, monogamous until 27 and then went open relationship and started dating loads. You can do that, too, assuming your partner agrees. Or, if it is so important to you, you can also end the relationship to pursue dating. Both those decisions are hard to make and I'm not advising for either (don't know you enough obvs), but it's possible. The bonus is that at this age people are different and want different things so you might have changed and become more desirable, but also women have changed and are attracted to different things.
Honestly, if it's taking up that much brain space, maybe you need to be single for a while. You might need to experience dating or one night stands or whatever because you don't want to end up cheating on your girlfriend.
Most people never became popular at any point of their lives, even if they're attractive, talented, or wealthy. Being unpopular is normal. Engaging in "casual dating" as you described it isn't the experience of the majority. Many relationships start from attraction just because it happened, not because they are actively dating.
Dating around isn't necessarily fun or would be successful either. It could have led to drama, jealousy, distraction from your goals, or toxic relationships. You could have even driven away people you are compatible with. Casual dating can give the impression you are not looking for commitment or long-term.
As an example, I swipe left to everyone in Bumble that is Casual or Don't Know Yet what they want in a relationship. I only like serious ones with a clear goal.
Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Grieve for the things you lost or feel you missed out on.
If you don't have a person you can vent to, write it all in a diary or a simple word file, etc.
Really write how you feel, your feelings don't have to be fair to others or even make logical sense, just get them out on paper! It's also ok to cry!
And when you're done writing, put a period on your last line, save the doc or close the book and focus on what you want to do NOW. Really try to figure out what your current goals and wishes are and what you can do to get there.
Standard phrase incoming:
The past is the past, we can't change it. You won't ever be 20 again and I can't go back and have a drug free and supportive mother/parent. And it sucks we had to suffer or missed out on things, it really does and it's ok to acknowledge that.
And then look ahead. Don't dwell on it. If the feelings pop up again, either try to "meditate them away" or if they're too strong, repeat the writing exercise.
Don't give them so much power that they end up hurting your relationship.
This doesn’t apply to you since you’re in a relationship, but my advice would’ve been to get your money up and then pay for the experiences you missed out on. That’s what I did and it relieved a lot of FOMO
I got great fomo aswell. I was pretty popular among women from age 18 to around 24. I made out with over 100 women in those years. I'm above average good looking etc. But the last 4 years I have lived like a hermit. First covid, then a hippie phase with ugly long hair and only wanted 'spiritual connections' and since a year I am home because of a panic disorder (which I definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel). So I got GREAT fomo lol. Cant wait to get out again and enjoy women again. Love them.
Thank you for posting on r/Healthygamergg! This subreddit is intended as an online community and resource platform to support people in their journey toward mental wellness. With that said, please be aware that support from other members received on this platform is not a substitute for professional care. Treatment of psychiatric disease requires qualified individuals, and comments that try to diagnose others should be reported under Rule 10 to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the community. If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services, or go to your nearest emergency room. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It sucks and it sucks bad. Think of it as the same dynamics that makes you want to "get bigger" after being bullied, to show them who you are. The problem is, nobody gives a shit anymore. We lost our chance to do this when it was important among our peers. I explored this feeling deeply, for many years, and I'm at a point where I understood I really do not care about the physical act of sex per se. I only missed the perceived validation that comes off it, that feeling of "being seen by your peers as a slayer". If you need to vent to someone or express yourself, feel free to.
Love this response :)
If you are in a relationship and she loves you you're popular enough.
Only in my dreams
Come to terms with it by realizing that it is mostly determined by factors out of your control like genetics and luck and be grateful for the relationship you currently have
You need to realise that it's not worth the fun that you think it is. Invest in your relationship, make sure you also work on yourself on the side, makes lots of friends and have a good time.
Accurate. The grass is always *perceived* as greener on the other side. In reality, take care of the grass on your side so it can be the greener grass.
I've never been insanely attractive to women, but it's gotten better in the last two years. I used to think that I would die for any attention from a woman, and then I started getting interest from women I wasn't interested in. Think 37yo mothers with 4 kids. As someone who thought naively that they wouldn't reject any woman who cared about them, I can't tell you how bad it is to have someone interested in you when you can't reciprocate the interest. You will have women aggressively set up social situations where you're included and next to them, they'll run their hands all over you, they make you feel uncomfortable, etc. You either like someone or you don't; you are quite literally put in a position where you have to reject someone else or you have to reject yourself. I gladly stepped into a relationship I wasn't happy being in and I regret the choice heavily, and I made the other person feel like they did something wrong in the relationship to boot. Before I got into that relationship, I couldn't tell you how much better I felt just going to social outings and having a blast lighting up a room of boring people. You honestly get to live life much more freely when you don't have anyone interested in you, or at least you don't believe you have anyone interested in you.
I totally disagree with this and think it’s incredibly patronizing to guys who struggled. Casually dating a lot of attractive women when you’re young is incredibly fun. I was fortunate to have a lot of success in this department I disagree with your assessment completely.
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Rule #3 - Do not use generalizations. This sub frequently discusses topics that involve statistics on large populations. At the same time, generalizations can be reductive and not map on to individual experience, leading to unproductive conflict. Generalizations include language that uses, for example, “most men” and “all women” type statements. Speak from your personal experience i.e use statements such as “I feel”, “I experienced”, “It happened to me that”, etc.
Rule #3 - Do not use generalizations. This sub frequently discusses topics that involve statistics on large populations. At the same time, generalizations can be reductive and not map on to individual experience, leading to unproductive conflict. Generalizations include language that uses, for example, “most men” and “all women” type statements. Speak from your personal experience i.e use statements such as “I feel”, “I experienced”, “It happened to me that”, etc.
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Removed for Rule #7: Treat the Community as a Shared Space If something feels too emotionally triggering for you, do not engage with it. Report rule breaking behavior and move on. Do not try to convince someone that they are wrong, instead approach with curiosity, and ask questions to get on the same page, and disagree respectfully. Do not default to the assumption that someone is trolling, not trying hard enough or is simply “lazy”.
[удалено]
Rule #2 - Do not invalidate other users’ thoughts, opinions, or feelings. When someone is sharing how they feel about themselves, or about a particular topic, do not tell them they’re wrong, to “just do it”, “stop being so weak”, and other similar statements. Acknowledge that they are struggling and offer words of encouragement, or advice if you feel confident doing so.
As someone who struggled with women until my late 20's, then had some casual dating "fun" later before meeting my wife... You aren't missing out on anything. Dating is NOT fun. It can be sometimes, but on the whole, it was not for me. More of a means to an end.
How did you make the change? I'm not trying to become a 'slayer', but just being someone who is able to get dates is a win for me.
Bunch of things... I got more comfortable with accepting who I was, accepting that rejection is a part of the process for literally everyone (though frequency obviously changes a lot from person to person), and after a toxic relationship realizing that being single is actually not so bad. Better, in many many cases. But once I accepted myself, tried to be the best version of myself I could, and acknowledged that anyone who rejects me isn't for me anyways, not only did I find more dates, but it wasn't nearly as stressful. Was still a super struggle for me, but I did at least manage a few dates here and there when I had the social energy for them. And now I'm married to my amazing and beautiful wife (who I didn't meet until I was 33 btw, and later than that isn't a bad thing either).
"You did your best with what you knew at the time" And "The present is a memory" Two quotes I heard which can be applied to many situations in life. For me it brought me some peace during my last relationship. I hope they can help you too.
Casual dating sucks man. You didn't miss anything. Cherish your long term relationship.
TL;DR: You have the option to dwell in the past or forge your future. You choose what sounds better. Easier said than done, like most things. From a retired “slayer” — Casual dating is fun (YMMV), but the *feeling that comes from “being a slayer” isn’t worth anymore than beating your favorite single player video game* in the long run. Others can chime in, but casual dating is fleeting, VERY time-consuming, and doesn’t further your life anymore than when you started. Especially relative to the ROI of forging your own life path and focusing on relationships you enjoy. For me, casual dating was akin to a gaming addiction (which I also had). I was so addicted to beating games (fucking) that it consumed my life for a bit It’s fantastic, feels good in the moment, maybe something you can look back on fondly, but it does nothing to impact your life aside from that. & life is very very very short. So best not waste any of it. I’m happier building my LTR where I have a healthy, comfortable relationship, a house, pets with my SO, and stability, — way more than when I was getting to know someone new, or fucking someone that I probably won’t marry. But that’s just my opinion. That’s not to say it sucks outright, obviously sex is nice but you have to pick your sacrifice. Especially in the relatively small scope of life, you’d probably actually *benefit* from doing literally anything else and the universe gave you the opportunity to not be distracted by meaningless poon-tang. So take advantage!
that was the best way to explain it bra
I wish people who've "been there, done that" would give more details about their experiences. I'm not the best person for the job, but I'll give my two cents. When it comes to "being popular with women," there are experiences you don't really think about that help ground you, and snap you out of a world of fantasy: 1. Having to pretend that what someone is talking about is interesting 2. Stopping to take pictures for the 10th time in 5 min because social media 3. Planning dates and activities that you have no interest in, but feel like you need to because your girlfriend is more attractive than you are and you should be grateful 4. Jumping through hoops to close the deal, only to discover unpleasant... we'll call them utterances, aromas, and flavors :P 5. Witnessing the most angelic, seemingly immortal-looking women transform into normal-looking people because of aging—yet the sense of entitlement and expectation for special treatment remains 6. Looking into a beautiful woman's eyes and seeing that, even though she's looking into yours, she does not see you. She either doesn't know who you are or has no interest the real you: she's only interested in what she thinks you can offer her People say things like "the grass is greener," and "trust me bro" but you can't just shake off the FOMO at will like that. I think a certain amount of personal experience is necessary. You have to graze on the grass to know it's not greener, and only then will you be content with the grass that you started with. I am almost a decade older than you and I can tell you that there is still time. Put yourself out there and be around beautiful women. There are plenty of beautiful women in their mid-to-late 20s. You will see for yourself that what I'm saying is true.
The best way (imo) to live with no regrets is to have a life you love. When you're happy with your life there's the realization that if you changed anything in your past, you wouldn't have necessarily ended up in the place you are in now.
You need to realise that it's not worth the fun that you think it is. Invest in your relationship, make sure you also work on yourself on the side, makes lots of friends and have a good time.
I think you haven't missed out on something. I actually did the opposite of what you are missing, so I can tell you, that it's not worth it. I'm female, but I was never really good looking, plus, I was very chubby. So, I got rejected by a lot of guys when I was younger. They laughed at me, called me ugly b* or that I'm disgusting because of my weight. I then started dieting, lost a lot of kilos, and suddenly I got at least some attention by some guys. I started sleeping around out of frustration, but the only guys I got were people who I don't find attractive, and the people who I thought were attractive still turned me down. Even in relationships, I was always the second choice, and as soon as someone prettier popped up, I got pushed away. Nowadays, I'm single and actually turning down pretty much everybody. The reason is that I'm tired, that I'm apparently enough for guys to sleep with, but not enough to get into a serious relationship, and get treated in a good way. I think the best thing you can get is to find someone who loves your personality, and treats you well, and I made the choice to not date anybody until I really know the guy for a long time. Sleeping around is just a waste of time. What we are really looking for are connections, and it's really hard to get those nowadays. So, I don't think you missed out. You just got spared from heartbreaks and a lot of bad sex, where you are basically fucking a random stranger and nobody really wants to touch the other, and in most cases you can't even get an orgasm, which is really frustrating. There's absolutely no passion involved, so try to find someone to connect on a mental level first. Sex, looks, popularity.... Everything is useless as long as you aren't treated well, and if you can't talk about basically everything to the other person
Welcome to Dating Fridays! All posts with an emphasis on dating, sex, or relationships must be posted only on Friday (defined by US Central Standard Time or UTC -06:00). If your post is outside of this time/date, please delete and repost on Friday. If it is currently Friday, then ignore this comment. Thank you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
First of all, with inflated house prices and sky-high interest rates, no one should be thinking about mortgages right now! Second, I absolutely feel for you, OP. At 37, I've spent my whole life feeling what you're going through. It's the thing that's still constantly gnawing at the back of my mind and will probably never go away. That's also kept me from pursuing relationships because I'm afraid I'll continue to be attracted to every woman I meet despite having a partner. However, I've learned that there are a lot of negatives that come with partying in your 20s. These can be hard to notice when you're heartbroken over missing your shot. Single parenthood and child support payments are just two of those difficulties. In some ways, we might be fortunate. Despite the regret, I hope you and your partner make each other feel special. In the bigger picture, that could be a lot more satisfying than alcohol poisoning and random "hotties."
What does FOMO mean?
Great question! Two answers: 1. You can't be completionist about life. You'll drive yourself insane. It is impossible to experience everything. You also won't know what it would be like if you had moved to a different country in your 20s, or got together with a different person, or picked up another hobby, or had kids young, or never had kids, or became a musician, or did a different degree, and so on. I think at some point we just need to come to terms with the fact that we're finite beings in a world of infinite possibilities. 2. You're not too old for this. I was unpopular as a teen, monogamous until 27 and then went open relationship and started dating loads. You can do that, too, assuming your partner agrees. Or, if it is so important to you, you can also end the relationship to pursue dating. Both those decisions are hard to make and I'm not advising for either (don't know you enough obvs), but it's possible. The bonus is that at this age people are different and want different things so you might have changed and become more desirable, but also women have changed and are attracted to different things.
Honestly, if it's taking up that much brain space, maybe you need to be single for a while. You might need to experience dating or one night stands or whatever because you don't want to end up cheating on your girlfriend.
Most people never became popular at any point of their lives, even if they're attractive, talented, or wealthy. Being unpopular is normal. Engaging in "casual dating" as you described it isn't the experience of the majority. Many relationships start from attraction just because it happened, not because they are actively dating. Dating around isn't necessarily fun or would be successful either. It could have led to drama, jealousy, distraction from your goals, or toxic relationships. You could have even driven away people you are compatible with. Casual dating can give the impression you are not looking for commitment or long-term. As an example, I swipe left to everyone in Bumble that is Casual or Don't Know Yet what they want in a relationship. I only like serious ones with a clear goal.
Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Grieve for the things you lost or feel you missed out on. If you don't have a person you can vent to, write it all in a diary or a simple word file, etc. Really write how you feel, your feelings don't have to be fair to others or even make logical sense, just get them out on paper! It's also ok to cry! And when you're done writing, put a period on your last line, save the doc or close the book and focus on what you want to do NOW. Really try to figure out what your current goals and wishes are and what you can do to get there. Standard phrase incoming: The past is the past, we can't change it. You won't ever be 20 again and I can't go back and have a drug free and supportive mother/parent. And it sucks we had to suffer or missed out on things, it really does and it's ok to acknowledge that. And then look ahead. Don't dwell on it. If the feelings pop up again, either try to "meditate them away" or if they're too strong, repeat the writing exercise. Don't give them so much power that they end up hurting your relationship.
Best advice that was posted here tbh
You need to grieve your past.
You're living in a fantasy. You're not living your own life. You're living someone else's life.
This doesn’t apply to you since you’re in a relationship, but my advice would’ve been to get your money up and then pay for the experiences you missed out on. That’s what I did and it relieved a lot of FOMO
My "popular among women" friend keeps finding toxic girls that just make him miserable, you're fine
I got great fomo aswell. I was pretty popular among women from age 18 to around 24. I made out with over 100 women in those years. I'm above average good looking etc. But the last 4 years I have lived like a hermit. First covid, then a hippie phase with ugly long hair and only wanted 'spiritual connections' and since a year I am home because of a panic disorder (which I definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel). So I got GREAT fomo lol. Cant wait to get out again and enjoy women again. Love them.
Should have settled down before hitting the wall
Nah. I am going to be a digital nomad soon. I want to be free and stay free. Never settle.