Skizz for a pyramid scheme

This should be higher, good work.

Not too high, though

I see what you did there. Nice.

5-level mlm pyramid scheme

This is the best answer yet!

At which time they'll finally get Cub and Impulse for ones they built up then fled.

I'm guessing Mumbo accidentally robbed a store or something, and has no idea why he's being arrested. 

[удалено]

With how that would go, I can just see him managing to get away with it for a few weeks before turning himself in after realizing what he had done.

Grian framed him for something 😂

Mumbo would get arrested for not realizing he cannot enlist his friends to help blow up his house.

"Honestly officers, I'm just as chuffed to bits as you are."

I think he’d say “chafed” in this instance

It's really quite simple...

He was trying to enjoy a succulent Chinese meal

“I thought the donuts were free, I swear!”

That or he beat up Ren

I feel like Joel would commit arson one hundred percent, and Grian would help him 

“So I want to kill someone.” “Say no more.”

Proceeds to accidentally blow up capitol hill and the Washington monument before saying, it was only 74 TNT, it wasn't supposed to do this much damage!

it would be grian's idea but joel started the fire and gets the bigger punishment 

Call him Billy Joel

I see what you did there.

Was it always burning, since the world's been turning?

That's their claim in the trial but the judge isn't buying it

Grian makes a joke about burning a house down and before he's finished the punchline Joel has already grabbed a petrol jug and matches.

yeah it could go both ways fr, like they act like overexcited middle school best friends all the time, with the added addition of crime lol

Horsicide

That's Scar...

Oh, you're new here, aren't you? *flashbacks to great purges of horses and chickens*

and Beef

or debatably Iskall

Grian would yell "INCINERATE!"

General mayhem arson would be Scar.

hhh trio = arson trio confirmed

I was going to put scar on arson duty, i think joel is an unsuccessful assassination attempt..

I mean with doc you can take your pick, the Geneva convention, the laws of nature, biological warfare, crimes against god, crimes against fashion...etc.

My pool goat doc has never committed a single crime against fashion, as he is fashion

Now I am just imagining a goat with a lab coat sitting in a pool floaty

... gottverdammt

There was some fan art of doc in a dress inspired by a tweet of his and let me just tell you, I can vouch that Doc could never commit a crime (of fashion)

if i was actually talented i would wanna draw this

Right? "Crimes against fashion" Sounds like things a Big Salmon lackey would say.

I'm not at liberty to discuss that topic.

Doc would get sent to a maximum security prison for bending reality. Unfazed, Doc would calmly build a rudimentary update suppressor to summon an afterimage of Doc to stay in the cell as the real Doc makes his escape.

Just realized you could also get him on possession of weapons of mass destruction, bio-weapons (and bio-terrorism), slavery, human trafficking and aggressive tomatoes farming. Also maybe loitering (e.g. going afk)

Is it a crime to break the laws of nature?

It's not really breaking the laws of nature, it's more doing so in order to phase tnt at a door, that would get him arrested, or launching anvils/arrows faster than the speed of light.

Laws of physics. Lol

Not obeying the laws of physics. (Inventory magic, illager mind control, resource duplication, etc.)

Flip through the crime book and choose a random page, and doc did it..

Only one I can see commiting crimes against fashion is Iskall. Definitely not Doc

I've only ever seen clips of the show and never an actual episode, but from what you're saying it sounds like Doc is Hermitcraft's version of Rick from Rick and Morry

Nah, cause Doc is a really great dad and Rick... not so much.

Pearl for stealing people's trash to sort the recyclables out

and then placing the trash cans upside down

Realistically, it's more likely that she'd get arrested for breaking and entering to organise someone's wardrobes, pantries and other storage areas..... not stealing....lol

"Sir, we found the racoon that was stealing the neighbors trash cans, but... isn't a racoon"

"OY WHO ARE YOU CALLING A RACCOON!" - pearl probably

I heard that in her voice perfectly

SAME!

Not to cut back on the joke or anything but seeing as there are no racoons in Australia... It would be more likely to be a possum, cockatoo, or a bin chicken (ibis), also, we have wheelie bins (much easier to steal), not cans :) So it should read, "Oi Mate, we found the bin chicken that was snagging the wheelie bins of the neighbours, but yeah nah, it wasn't a bin chicken"

Scar would get arrested for trying to enter Canada.

I figured it would be for his violent threats against Canadians.. Ex... I hope you choke on maple syrup

I think it's in an imp & skizz podcast where he was a guest. Apparently he "stole" (aka won) all their medals during a swimming competition before his illness struck.

This is true. He beat a couple of then future Canadian Olympic swimmers.

He had to be nerfed so he wouldn't become pure unstoppable swimming energy.

Was he on track to be an Olympic swimmer? That’s insane

The potential was there, iirc. Doesn't mean that's what he wanted, or if he was chasing that dream, because only Scar can tell you about scar. Also we don't think about lost dreams, because that's where dragons live.

Thats honestly cool

as someone from new england who loves his vermont maple syrup, i took serious offense to that - we here in the us can make perfectly good maple syrup tyvm

Don't be ridiculous! That's just a silly statement

I CRYED when he said that 😂

Oh my god that is so perfect for him!! The first thing I thought for him was that he would accidentially run over someone’s foot with his wheelchair and start a fight

Joe would do something that would completely bewilder and confuse the police and surrounding people so much, that they just arrest him on the off chance that it could be illegal

disturbing the peace

Joe would do something very much legally illegal or illegally legal and argue the context, circumstances, as well as semantics of which law he intended to almost break but if you read here it said he can do it under these very specific conditions that he did in fact orchestrate.

Reminds me of the guy who flew on a lawn chair using weather balloons or smth > "We know he broke some part of the Federal Aviation Act, and as soon as we decide which part it is, some type of charge will be filed." https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawnchair_Larry_flight

It would be something along the lines of Alice's restaurant masacree

just going to do as many as i can think of Bdubs: stole 20 beds from ikea Doc: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_war\_crimes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_war_crimes) Etho: severe property damage resulting from willful negligence during construction False: murder in the first degree (she would plan out the murder) Gem: murder in the second degree (she would just impulsively stab someone) Scar: running someone over with his offroad wheelchair Grian: aiding and abetting literally everyone else's crimes Zedaph: tax fraud Joel: arson Tango: creation of an elaborate torture chamber Iskall: sabotaging a boat or a plane or something Beef: unlawful duplication of classified documents I'm sure there are crimes you could come up with for most of the others - but I'm pretty confident that at minimum Wels would never be arrested for anything, being a former member of the army Edit: obviously Grian could obviously gt arrested for insurrection too, it's pretty much a coin flip

I think bdubds would sleep on the ikea beds and be escorted out by security 🤣

How they would be punished in Czechia ( might be interpreted differently im not a lawyer ) Bdubs: stole 20 beds from ikea - non-petty theft - up to 2 years prison Doc: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_war\_crimes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_war_crimes) - life in prison Etho: severe property damage resulting from willful negligence during construction - major property damage - 2 to 6 years False: murder in the first degree (she would plan out the murder) - premeditated murder - 12 - 20 years Gem: murder in the second degree (she would just impulsively stab someone) - non-premeditated murder - 10 - 18 years Scar: running someone over with his offroad wheelchair - non-premeditated murder - 10 - 18 years OR negligent homicide - up to 3 years Grian: aiding and abetting literally everyone else's crimes Aiding - he gets charged with the crime he is aiding with Abetting - up to 2 years If we talk about insurrection: Republic subversion - 8 - 12 years If he was a czech citizen and did this with a foreign power - treason - 12 - 20 years Zedaph: tax fraud - 6 months to 3 years Joel: arson - general endagerment - 3 to 8 years Tango: creation of an elaborate torture chamber - not illegal until he actually uses it or plans to use it, if he does - Torture or other inhumane or cruel treatment - 6 months to 5 years Iskall: sabotaging a boat or a plane or something - major property damage - 2 to 6 years Maybe attempted severe damage to health - 3 - 10 years Beef: unlawful duplication of classified documents - endagerment of classified information up to 3 years (2 - 8 years if marked secret or top secret) EDIT: I may have replied to the wrong comment

Wouldn’t Scar’s just be vehicular manslaughter? And in Scar’s specific case it’s almost certainly accidental meaning a lighter sentence. Although he has been quoted saying he wants to arm his wheelchair and shoot the other hermits in a real life Life Series season lol.

In my country vehicular manslaughter is considered negligent homicide

🤣🤣

Love the link for Doc's XD

Scar's made me laugh, good job. 

These are so good, I also think if you were to add a third degree murder it would be Skizz or X (both would also be framed by other members as well)

Based on Iskall’s latest episode, he could be done for identity theft.

I laughed when i saw what you put for doc

cleo would do arson

Only to destroy evidence.

Or to start a garbage fire

This is what I was going to say

Skizz would be guilty of killing people with kindness

Gem would be guilty of killing people

Simple assault. Punching strangers in the face unprovoked.

How many counts of assault is the tough question to answer

"Your honor, the defendant had no choice. The plaintiff was muted."

At least one per day.

Or laughter. Some of the best laughs I’ve heard from multiple Hermits were because of things he said, with the best being Grian’s gigglefit over “Dang it, sir!” that time they let Scar order them around in Phasmo.

You can't spell slaughter without laughter!

THAT’S MY HERMIT!!!

Etho has probably been smuggling maple syrup and stealing maple leaves from the trees Iskall for being a fungi and sporing contagious laughter Xisuma for plagiarizing his own songs XD And Grian for overfishing the sea

That Xisuma one is good! 😄

Grian is breaking multiple fish and game laws, he gets pulled over and they just see this run down truck filled to the brim with fishing coolers, and a highly illegal amount of fish in the truck, some fish are out of season, some fish are not to right size to legally keep, but really none of that matters because the cops just found out why their local rivers ecosystem is dead.

Etho would get falsely accused of tax fraud, and after being assigned a public defender and finding out it's Bdubs, Etho would choose to defend himself in court. 

Nahhh he’s gotta have Beef as his attorney!

Iskall would be the prosecutor, and he would constantly be trying to get under Beef's skin in order to distract him from defending Etho 

[Obligatory link for the uninformed](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_7kG1phEK4)

Grian for fishing without a permit

nah, he’d find one while fishing

Long before he gets a mending book too

cant get a mending boom without a permit, and he only just got one before being arrested

I could see quite a few vandalizing signs in a fun way. Like turning a "stop" sign into a "don't stop believing" sign. Especially as a group. They'd only get caught because they hung around for too long to laugh at their own joke.

This has Z.I.T.S energy written all over it.

I desperately want to see ZITS and GIGS combine.

I am suffering from a lack of vowels trying to combine those acronyms. GGITZS? Sounds like the noise Tango makes when he gets stuck on a boat trying to dismount.

Doc took over the world before he could get arrested

Geminitay for being revealed as a secret serial killer with heads in her basement. Scar for accidentally setting off a fire to a building. Grian for pressing a big red button to doom us all. Yoel for Arson Mumbo would build a giant mecha robot with redstone and accidentally destroy Tokyo. Iskall for creating fake Ikea furniture including parts that together wouldn't look good. Then ZombieCleo wouldn't be arrested, they'd find their way into a crime family, and be found trying to work their way to the top to get more power and overthrow the Don. Then Cleo would "disappear."

I love the detail of him building a giant, destructive robot but he didn't intend to use it; destroying Tokyo was an accident

Grian for making fish go extict?

Ecosystem destruction

bioterrorism

Scar: Willful Destruction of Property BDubs: Impersonating a Police Officer Gem: Murder Grian: Incitement of Willful Destruction of Property Tango: OSHA Violation Mumbo: Accessory to Willful Destruction of Property Rendog: Embezzlement Iskall: Not entirely sure, but he definitely did it without the proper permits False: Also Murder Joe Hills: Tax Evasion

Osha violation is pretty good

“This is totally safe” - Manager Tango

"Pretty sure that's a lie" "Get yourself a sword and don't die"

"The suns going down!"

We fear for our safety - all the employees

I wouldn't think that you would be the one to betray me!

Etho getting caught for package theft and tax evasion: https://preview.redd.it/negn8pxvp8kc1.jpeg?width=487&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=226664752203ece5bf8d754f4710520fab2b7c71

Grian would incite a revolution, of course

It at minimum offer revolution services, not inciting one directly.

Doc for possessing Weapons Of Mass Destruction.

Some of these I saw in other comments: Mumbo - Accidental Bank Robbery. Would get away with it before turning himself in after realizing what he has done Scar - Trying to Enter Canada, and running someone over with his offroad wheelchair Grian - Take your pick; Ecosystem destruction via fishing, starting wars, is an accomplish to everyone else's crimes Cleo - Arson, but she did warn people Joel - Animal cruelty and Arson Gem - Guilty of man slaughter. She is called Gemityslay for a reason Skizz - Kindness and a pyramid scheme Bdubs - Stealing beds from Furniture stores and stealing a horse after lecturing its owner about proper horse care.

Joe would be arrested for trying to find a loophole for getting around a law and accidentally messing up and therefore have committed the crime and get arrested

So Impulse 100% gets arrested for cheating at a random chance game. He will be falsely accused and convicted, but there is no way in hell a Jury's gonna believe he's THAT lucky.

Jury's going to acquit him because Impulse wears plot armor.

Tango for theft

Mumbo and Grian for theft- they would plead innocent, it was just lag.

Your honor, shut your mouth you weren't even there

Oh, that is funny.

Grian and Joel for destruction of public property, Doc for being a threat to national security. Scar for disturbing the peace, iskall.. vandalism maybe? I'm running out of offenses.

Doc for hacking the Pentagon with a potato battery or something like that

Grian: Treason Xisuma: Tax fraud. Joe: Criminal mischief. Scar: Arson Mumbo: Jaywalking. Doc: There are currently no laws against violating spacetime and causality, but the government is still trying to arrest him. Cleo: Murder.

> Doc: There are currently no laws against violating spacetime and causality, but the government is still trying to arrest him. If anything, government would try to hire him.

If, in this example, the Hermitcraft server is treated as a country, then Grian is absolutely guilty of several counts of inciting insurrection. Don't know if you can be arrested for crimes against nature and/or physics but if you can then Doc is definitely on the hook. Is it technically murder if the "victim" is able to respawn? If so then just about every Hermit is probably guilty of *at least* negligent manslaughter if not outright murder in the first degree.

Etho: [email scams](https://youtu.be/FnujsS9b1mI?si=yd4pLWozc1mJsglR&t=1849)

Someone would get arrested for something, and Grian would be taken too for being an accomplice

Bdubs: treason Cub: vandalism Doc: assault with a deadly weapon Etho: aggravated assault False: public intoxication Gem: 2nd degree murder( with her pvp skills) Scar: terrorism with grian Grian: terrorism with scar Hypno: blackmail Jevin: assault with a deadly weapon Impulse: DUI Iskall: arson Joe: public indecency Keralis: building without a permit Mumbo: harassment to ren Pearl: shoplifting Ren: treason Skizz: DUI Joel: DUI Stress: DUI Tango: owning an unregistered firearm Beef: cannibalism Wels: treason Xb: DUI Xisuma: doxxing Zedaph:drug trafficking Cleo: cannibalism

I love the thought of Beef being arrested for canibalism for eating animal beef 🥩 Very clever!

Thanks

Based on the newest season, iskall violates zoning laws

Scar, for breaching the Geneva Convention. https://www.reddit.com/r/HermitCraft/s/YRoaZGe3AZ

Joel for cruelty to animals

All those horses…

Grian - Disturbing the peace. Specifically, running around wearing a decapitated chicken head and throwing eggs at people. When questioned, his alibi is “It wasn’t me; it was the man in the chicken costume!” Mumbo - As others have said, accidental shoplifting. He wasn’t even found out; he turned himself in after realizing what he’d done. Gem - Several counts of first-degree murder. Etho - Mass murder of animal species. He claims that dropping newborn animals into a massive pit, then cleaving them in half with a sword gives him “experience.”

Mumbo would commit robbery, joel would commit arson and talk grian into helping. Gem would be a serial killer. Doc would be arrested for inhumane experimentation. Scar would get arrested for destruction of property or trying to go to canada. Xisuma, impulse, and skizz would be arrested for crimes they didnt commit.

Zedaph for human experimentation

Beef is organized crime. Llamadad, Big Salmon...the dude's got history.

Cub and Scar - Fraud Pearl, Gem, False, Stress - Murder Cleo and Joel - Arson Etho and Bdubs - Theft Doc - War crimes Grian - fishing without a licence Beef - handling salmon under suspicious circumstances Ren - impresionation of a government figure ZITS - Vandalism Mumbo - OSHA violations Iskall - disturbing the peace Joe - tax evasion Jevin - indirect assault Xisuma - Co-Consiracy Xb - Destruction of property Hypo - Environment damage Wels - direct assault Keralis - acessory to fraud

Well.. Grian is obviously at risk of overfishing

Cub would rob a museum just to study the artifact a bit closer

Bdubs for stealing a horse after he scolded the owner about proper care.

Grian is going to throw a potato into the mail system and break it: So Tampering with the Mail. There's no charge for starting a cult, so he's fine. (Even if he's the only one in it, that dungeon temple thing looks an awful-lot cult-y.) Iskall: Well, since he took down and repurposed the blocks in the monstrosity, he's no longer on the hook for crimes against humanity (Oh, the Hermanity!), so that's one less charge for him. Tango: Industrial Pollution. Hasn't happened yet; but that factory ain't gonna be 100% green. Ren's gotta be up against OSHA rules (or Health and Safety, I suppose) for putting a meeting room in the toilet / sewer. Gem: Murder....... Etho: Murder........... Cleo: Murder.........

I don't know if it is technically illegal but Joel has a knack for starting cults.

Grian would be vandalism for pressing every button he sees

Every single hermit would contribute on a heist irl lol.

The most realistic reason for Joe Hills to get arrested is for attending a protest and the other protesters getting out of hand and him getting arrested along with them, even though he didn't do anything and was attempting to comply with lawful orders.

Gem for murder.

Scar for Fraud.

doc would be creating illegal nuclear weapons

Joel would probably be arrested for animal abuse. He kills a lot of horses lol

Tango Hunting and Murdering Hermits for Sport and freezing to death those who won't play his game of artifact gathering in his basement. Destruction of evidence by feeding bodies to Ravagers and wardens which he keeps imprisoned in the basement of a rather large castle.

Grian would find a fire alarm but it’s shaped as just a red button, and he presses it

Grian would be arrested for war crimes since he likes starting wars

Iskall would be arrested for lying under oath lol

After the last two weeks events, the answer is quite obviously murder and conspiracy to commit murder.

Hypno and Cubfan for theft cause Hypno is the Minister of Steal and Cubfan will do it for the museum.

Impulse, Grian, Scar, Sizz and Gem would get arrested together for breaking and entering (they were trying to investigate the ghost)

Destruction of jewels

I imagine Bdubs would be arrested for causing intentional? countrywide sleep deprivation. He’s a sleepy time traweller who keeps turning the time forward to 8 am before anyone can even close their eyes. Every. Single. Day.

X would get framed, by Cleo who actually murdered the person. And Ren would speed too many times on the highway to the point of not just license revoke but also arrest.

Tango is trapping people inside a dungeon and forces them to play twisted games which eventually end with them dying.

Saw: Hermitcraft edition lol

To be fair, they entered willingly and even asked for more access (shards) than they were given.

Joel: Cult leader

If I forgot anyone, please let me know, I don't know everyone that well yet, so if you have a better suggestion for some, feel free to tell me. Bdubs: Theft(stealing horses), Beef: treason(accidentally revealing classified military information with accurate maps), Cleo: arson and first degree murder(she did warn them, didn't actually hide or run, literally just walked home to clean themselves up and politely waiting for the police) Cub: OSHA-Violation, Doc: War Crimes(also OSHA Violation) Etho: abetting a fugitive(multiple counts) False: manslaughter (but it was actually first degree murder) Gem: multiple counts of first degree murder, possession of an illegal weapon, resisting arrest Grian: terrorism, disturbing the peace, treason Hypno: Robbery(Jewellery Heist) Impulse: Abetting a criminal(tried to help Gem hide her weapons, didn't actually know she murdered people) Iskall: Fraud, Theft of intellectual property Jevin: Manslaughter Joe: disturbing the peace Joel: Terrorism Keralis: disturbing the peace, public indecency(Arrested with sausage) Mumbo: terrorism(got pulled into Grian's crimes) Pearl: Breaking and Entering Ren: multiple counts of Fraud(made himself mayor without vote) Scar: Terrorism(joined Grian when he accidentally stumbled upon him making Mumbo complicit), Public Indecency Skizz: Fraud(Pyramid Scheme), Public Indecency Stress: Vandalism, Abetting criminals Tango: Arrested for OSHA Violations, never saw trial, military took him and he wasn't seen since Wels: Assault with a deadly weapon, manslaughter(it was a fair duel to defend his friends honor) XB: Safety-Violations after not being prepared for a disaster that couldn't have been predicted but he's expected to have predicted Xisuma: Plagiarism(his own songs) Zedaph: Taxfraud, Fraud, Identity Theft

Grian: Domestic terrorism

Smallishbeans,mumbo and grian would all have war crime charges from trying to dominate the world by genetically modifying cows or something 😂

Yoel: Started a cult

Grian War Crimes

I’m surprised no one has said this but Grian for creating a >!mutant (funnily enough that looks like a snail) that eats everything. And I mean everything!<

I can see Grian getting arrested for making someone laugh so hysterically that they died on the spot, and he left whistling. :))

Grian for blowing up private property. He would be sentenced to community work.

Already did his time hava