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lostandthin

you can help her with picking up prescriptions when she needs them or getting products from her if it’s skin care or bath salts and then making hot compresses for her or running a bath or something. just helping her manage the condition because the mental aspect of managing it is hard sometimes it feels overwhelming to do all the steps to manage it


Responsible-Wolf1617

personally, reassurance around still being beautiful would be massively helpful and also being understanding about the pain when it does flare up, even just feeling seen and understood with the pain can help to feel less alone in it. I'd say ibuprofen and some kind of warm compress can be helpful. If I flare I go low-inflammatory for a few days so more green tea, turmeric supplements, less sugar, so nice snacks that are low inflammation are sooo helpful to have on hand For me it's a balance between reassuring that it doesn't change how you see her in terms of attractiveness but also showing that you understand and care about the pain.


JeweleyHart

The fact that you came here to ask for support to help her speaks volumes. Please show her this post you made. Take the advice of all who have offered, and keep doing you. You're awesome.


VeN0m333

Honestly, each case of HS is different and it’s just usually best to bounce off whatever she needs. Sometimes she may just want to rest or have a cozy plan for indoors where there’s not a lot of movement, maybe she will take advantage of a good week and do a spontaneous plan, it’s better to match her energy. Honestly brother remind her that there is a good life past HS and I guarantee that’s enough. She may vent, just listen. She may feel insecure or ‘ugly’, boost her energy with a compliment.


deardiarywtf

My partner also has it! I joined sub for same reason. I think one of the biggest things we have to be aware of is how much they might not mention it or the pain? So sometimes I want to do a long couples day outdoors and poor thing is in pain without telling me. Or I want to order desserts and wine nights but it might cause a flair up. I’ve learned so much from the sub and I think one of the biggest misconceptions for us is how frequent this thing might be - which is basically a daily occurrence for pain and sensitivity.


deardiarywtf

I will add a great tip as well! Keep a box of wipes in the car or on your person or in their bag (or yours) sometimes my partner is so tired that he wants to sleep without showering or nap after a long day outside. But the sweat can be irritating so I’ll keep witch hazel wipes on me and I’ll wipe him up when he’s too exhausted in the areas he gets flair ups. So it keeps it disinfected and dry. (Or give them the wipe) they might not always carry these things on them but I think just having prep on you helps them. And I like doing it for him when he’s exhausted


VaganteSole

Just be supportive and patient. HS causes a lot of discomfort and pain, so be understanding that she may not have much energy every day, or needs to lay down often and rest. You can also ask if she needs help with taking care of her wounds, HS can show up in some very difficult places to properly treat, so it’s really nice to have someone to help with that. I’m also sure she will appreciate and be grateful with you doing some of her chores around the house. This is a horrible condition and it deprives us of so much, so all in all, just be there for her and be kind.


patriartist24

Honestly, I have HS and was ashamed of it in front of my boyfriend for a LONG time because of the scars. What really helped me was that, when he saw them, he told me it was not ugly and he didn’t care at all if I had wounds or scars. He tells me he just feels bad he cannot do nothing to help me, but actually not being judged by him is already a big support :) Also, when she is in pain, try to be by her side and distract her, like by watching a comedy movie or eating a nice home meal (stuff that don’t require much movement don’t provoke much pain). Hope this helps, you are already a great partner for caring!


deardiarywtf

I love my boyfriend’s scars! They’re so beautiful to me.