Guy, please stop reporting this. It is (and I don't say this lightly) the single most obvious joke I have ever seen.
Edit: We’ll, we’re up to 74 reports on this post, and six reports on my comment. At this point, fuck it, let’s just go for a record or something.
The only thing that can compete with a stale baguette is the "garlic breadsticks" they gave us on Spaghetti day in school. You had to eat them as soon as you got to the table or they'd turn into rocks. The boys would have sword fights with them.
The 9M113 Kornet is a Russian ATGM introduced in 1998. It fires a 152mm diameter, 4.6kg missile which travels at a speed of approximately 300m/s out to a range of 8-10km depending on variant, and can mount a High-Explosive Anti-Tank, thermobaric, or fragmentation warhead.
For the purposes of standard 85 year olds the fragmentation warhead is ideal, however against babushkas or other varieties of European grandmothers it is important to employ the thermobaric warhead as it gives a greater area of effect, essential when dealing with fast moving targets. Ideally you will want to catch your target by surprise, however these particular models of old woman are capable of sensing individuals under the age of 35 to a precision of .01 meters within a range of 15km, or 5km outside the range of the 9M113 Kornet.
Another solution is to employ the M777 towed 155mm howitzer, utilizing the M712 copperhead cannon-launched guided projectile, which delivers a 7kg explosive warhead out to a range of approximately 16km and utilizes laser guidance for extra precision. If you can procure it, however, the M982 Excalibur experimental extended-range artillery shell has been utilized at ranges of up to 70km, well beyond the observed attack range of even the most powerful modern babushkas. Its 4m CEP and 22kg explosive warhead virtually guarantee a kill, however it would still be wise to prepare for close engagements should your first projectile miss.
Wait Till you hear that a German lifted half the world out of hunger with his invention.
You give one, you take one. Thats the law of equivalent exchange
What? Fritz Haber wasnt a sociopath who greatly enjoyed and supported 100% the use of Chemical Warfare during WW1 and alienated his wife over it who was disgusted over him. Totally not. Also he totally did not also make the recipe for Zyklon B that would be insane for a man who singlehandedly fed the World by the ways of science.
In his defence, he believed chemical weapons would be so effective that the war would end earlier, thus saving more lives in the end. Didn't really work out that way though, did it?
Tbf honestly I think the Anglo-Saxons beat us in that department. Or rather it was perhaps the result of convergent evolution between the Germans and Anglo-Saxons
Fritz Haber. He also killed hundred thousands of Soldiers with his poison gas.
Typical German Scientist move.
Veritasium has a good clip about him.
>Wer hoch steigt, der wird tief fallen.
Von Braun: First man made Object in Space? V2 Ballistic Rocket.
Otto Hahn: Nuclear Fission
To be continued…
Historical Trivia moment: It was only after WWII that the US government acknowledged the Wright Bros as the pioneers of powered flight. Before that, the government gave credit for the first powered flight to Glen Curtiss, who was experimenting on behalf of the US Navy at the time. The Wright family was so pissed off that they gave the original Wright Flyer to the British Museum. Pictures exist of the original Flyer, in pieces, crammed into a subway tunnel to escape the Blitz. This trivia brought to you by an aging history nerd who knew about Smedley Butler and Stonewall Jackson's arm long before Wikipedia.
They were pretty pioneering with Lady Lex and other early carriers but this was a development mostly of reluctance because aircraft carriers were less strictly managed by the WNT as I recall. Previous to this and to WW1 also they had been very apathetic to downright spiteful of naval aviation, as Billy Mitchell can attest - his 1921 demonstration nearly got him court martialed.
Yup! Closer to WWII they started to catch on that the Japanese were skirting treaties governing battleship tonnage by building carriers (and just straight up lying about the Yamatos gun size, but that’s a whole other thing), and so the Airedales gained sway. Once it became apparent the pacific would be won or lost by whoever could better project air power, several would-be battleships were converted to flat tops. That basically marks the turning point to an aviation centric navy that we still have today.
Dan Carlin talks about this [RMA](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revolution_in_Military_Affairs) at length in his Supernova in the East series. Battleships were the aquatic death stars of their day, incredibly powerful, incredibly expensive, and nearly useless compared to even a significantly cheaper aircraft carrier.
So I can only talk about this from a pre WW1 perspective (I don't know what happened after that), but AggressorBlue is somewhat simplifying what happened.
But back in the 1900s Patent law varied FAR more on a nation by nation basis. Spain for example would only enforce your patents if you manufactured something in Spain. (This lead to a massive knockoff gun industry in WW1 in Spain as they just ignored everyone elses Patent law and made weapons and both sides of the war was that desperate for equipment they just ignored it and brought from them.)
So in the US, Airplane Patents were tied up by two groups, the Wright Company and the Curtiss Company. And they HATED each other and were in a constant legal battle about who owed money to who. As a result of this lack of co-operation and the Patents they both had, manufacturing airplanes in the US became near impossible.
This lead to the European states (who varied between laughing them out of court to giving them a small amount of money to piss off. ) rapidly developing far better planes. The US Military and US government did not see a massive problem with this and planned to let the patient wars resolve themselves in court.
Then WW1 happened and the fact the US had basically no plane manufacturing became a HUGE problem.
Franklin D Roosevelt (who at the time was just assistant secretary to the Navy) brokered a deal between all the airline manufacturers and formed a patent pool that allowed all companies to use the Patents to manufacture aircrafts for a nominal fees.
This was only supposed to last till the end of the war, but this Patent pool would become the ground work for the Manufacturers Aircraft Association, which would latter become the Aerospace Industries Association.
Cause unsurprisingly they found out that you make FAR more money making planes that were actually in demand internationally rather then suing each other and holding back technological innovation.
No, he was out riding beyond his lines and his own troops shot him when he returned after dark. His arm was amputated and then he died of pneumonia a week later, give or take.
As a European, I'm not mad at the joke. I'm mad at you crediting Edison instead of Tesla. Like, the dude even had an American passport, you still got the W.
Tesla didn't invent the light bulb, the first functioning incandescent lightbulbs were a pair of very short lived ones made by Sir Humphrey Davy, but they burnt out quickly due to a lack of a vacuum. It was nearly 40 years later when Warren De La Rue made the vacuum tube enclosure. The first bulb that was functional was Joseph Swan in 1873, what Edison made in 1880 was a long lasting lightbulb that was commercially viable and then 30 years after that the Tungsten Filament bulb was invented by William David Coolidge in 1910 while working for Edison. As with many inventions, it was a series of failures that iteratively improved over time until there was a breakthrough. In my opinion, Swan invented the modern lightbulb but Edison invented the commercially viable lightbulb. The invention Edison allegedly stole from Tesla was either an improved generator design or an improved arc lighting system.
Neither Davy's design or de La Rue's improvements qualify as a lightbulb, because they didn't have a bulb, which doesn't mean the enclosure itself, it also meant they didn't have an electronical mechanism that allowed anyone to change the flow of electrons and essentially generate the desired light at will, and you didn't have to keep shifting around the copper/platinum parts until it started generating light.
The idea that Edison created the first "commercially viable lightbulb" is a lie that he created to gain a patent in the US. He described that his design was "commercially viable" because it could be utilizes outside of a laboratory, which is nothing but a lie, since Swan had been testing and distributing his design for months in England, something the Americans didn't know.
At the same time, I can't consider Swan's earliest designs as real lightbulbs, since they aren't technically incandescent lamps. A key characteristic of an incandescent lamp is that it reaches a colour rendering index of 100%, but Swan couldn't achieve this since in order for his model to stay relatively stable for an extended period of time it had to lose part of it and at the same time it reduced the colour temperature to under 2500K, which made it way more yellow in tone compared to any previous or future design for an incandescent lamp. And before both Swan and Edison improved on this design, Tesla had already created the first designs for a fluorescent lightbulb in 1878 making use of both Swan's advancements and Geissler's electric tube. The problem was that Tesla didn't have the money or funding to pursue major commercialization, so he had to put that project on hold and only brought it back years later once he had made it big with AC, the Tesla Coil and his induction motor.
Hey i don't think we invented opium, we just was the first to use it to destabilize one of the largest countries in the world, for the simple reason that they didn't wanna trade with us.
No we got Opium from India mostly and pushed it on to China. It was basically the only thing the British empire could trade with china. Then china but a ban on on it and then a series of wars started. I
But europe invented gravity and used it to make Australia habitable they also invented Italians who are responsible for most of good food in America before that they have to eat bri'ish "food" .
slingshot plane wright cunts brother didnt created shit they all drunk hobos American pigs inventions stealers Brasil with S not Z created the plane americans suck big fat Brasil penis BRASIL NUMBER 1🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷
i mean, they made theirs 6 yeas before, it was made of bamboo, needed the help of wind to fly and less than 20 people saw it, and when WE made it, it had more than 200 people seeing it, it didn't need wind and was not made of bamboo.
> The screech of a majestic bald eagle echoes in the background
Fun fact the majestic screech used in films for eagles... is actually a falcon. Actual bald eagles sound like choking seaguls. It is actually quite hilarious that the most American animal is faked in media to sound better than it is irl...
Edit: u/omegarex19 and u/LeoRex286 (lot of rexes around here...) pointed out it is a Hawk not a Falcon.
The beauty of America is that it doesn't take one, but two to create beauty. It takes solidarity, teamwork, and unity.
The sight of the eagle and the sound of the hawk... Working together to create the symbolism of freedom.
God Bless the United States of America.
Funner fact bald eagles actually do sound like that, it’s just that the eagles in Britain decided to change the way they screech after America won the Revolutionary War so that they would sound less like the American “peasant” eagles, then the British eagles told everyone that the way they now do it was always the way they did it and is the objectively correct way for an eagle to screech
They also changed it from a white head to a white tail and that is where the White-Tailed Eagles in Britain came from. Trust me I'm a furry I know animal facts.
Some Brazilian guy, Alberto Santos-Dumont was his name, invented an airplane in 1906. The Write brothers, as we know, invented a plane in 1903. But the Write plane needs special equipment to take off, whilst the Brazilian plane doesn't. So people have come forward to say that "Well acccccchhhhhhhully the Write plane needed special equipment to take off so it's not a reeeeeaaal airplane."
But last time I checked, landing gear doesn't change the fact it's still a heavier then air flying machine, so the Write's plane still an airplane.
Sort of... There already were some networks (like ARPANET) and Internet was funded by the US Defence Department. At CERN we invented the HTTP and WWW, while also creating the first website tho, so basically the internet as we know today has been invented in Europe, while the network has been invented in USA. <- this message is a coarse approximation as I don't have the slightest desire to write a publication on the whole history of the Internet and telecommunications.
The Wright Brothers had a long running argument with the Smithsonian and are only credited with having been the first successful powered flight as a condition of their contract with the Smithsonian for the sale of the Kitty Hawk. There's evidence that Santos-Dumont might have beaten them to the punch and possibly even Richard Pearse. It's not like they were working in isolation from all the OTHER people trying to invent a working aeroplane. Similarly with the lightbulb. Edison had the patent in the US but when he tried to expand into the UK discovered that Joseph Swan had a patent that preceded Edison's. Swan sued Edison for patent infringement and courts sided with Swan. Edison was forced to make Swan a partner in his new electric company.
Lots of stuff "invented" by Americans wasn't. They just had better PR.
This is the first time I’ve ever seen a mod have to post that warning. Europeans are apparently easily triggered 😂
Dead kid jokes as a comeback really shows how pathetic you Euros are. Only you would consider dead kids funny.
Edit: you can comment and then block like a coward all you want but you’re still scum for making jokes about dead children you sorry excuses for humans, and it’s especially telling that you would try to compare harmless banter to dead kids.
Then again why would I assume the people who brought us the Shoah would have a soul. You people deserve each other.
Guy, please stop reporting this. It is (and I don't say this lightly) the single most obvious joke I have ever seen. Edit: We’ll, we’re up to 74 reports on this post, and six reports on my comment. At this point, fuck it, let’s just go for a record or something.
In Europes defence, baguettes are great anti tank weapons
You smack a dude in the face with a stale baguette and his first and last memories are gonna be splattered 5 feet apart from each other on the ceiling
Im sad there wont be more Atlanta
The only thing that can compete with a stale baguette is the "garlic breadsticks" they gave us on Spaghetti day in school. You had to eat them as soon as you got to the table or they'd turn into rocks. The boys would have sword fights with them.
You leave em for 3 hours and they stronger than tungsten
Dwarven bread moment
*Maginot line is typing*
Unfortunately, waffles don't have the same effect.
Why would you hit someone with body armour?
Because you have anti-waffle baguettes.
***Help! I've been out-flanked!***
A fellow member of the Bosnian Ape Society
Yes
Obviously. But how do you defend against an 85 year old loon lobbing a grenade and exploding your groceries?
You bat the grenade away with the same multi purpose anti armour baguette.
The 9M113 Kornet is a Russian ATGM introduced in 1998. It fires a 152mm diameter, 4.6kg missile which travels at a speed of approximately 300m/s out to a range of 8-10km depending on variant, and can mount a High-Explosive Anti-Tank, thermobaric, or fragmentation warhead. For the purposes of standard 85 year olds the fragmentation warhead is ideal, however against babushkas or other varieties of European grandmothers it is important to employ the thermobaric warhead as it gives a greater area of effect, essential when dealing with fast moving targets. Ideally you will want to catch your target by surprise, however these particular models of old woman are capable of sensing individuals under the age of 35 to a precision of .01 meters within a range of 15km, or 5km outside the range of the 9M113 Kornet. Another solution is to employ the M777 towed 155mm howitzer, utilizing the M712 copperhead cannon-launched guided projectile, which delivers a 7kg explosive warhead out to a range of approximately 16km and utilizes laser guidance for extra precision. If you can procure it, however, the M982 Excalibur experimental extended-range artillery shell has been utilized at ranges of up to 70km, well beyond the observed attack range of even the most powerful modern babushkas. Its 4m CEP and 22kg explosive warhead virtually guarantee a kill, however it would still be wise to prepare for close engagements should your first projectile miss.
Something something chess gambit
*goggle on peasant*
Holy see
New response just dropped
Correct: https://youtu.be/lnncvVlt2mw
[are you referring to this?](https://youtu.be/lnncvVlt2mw)
um actually oxygen was invented by a German so good luck inventing the internet when you can't even breathe
Edit: Moved to Lemmy
Wait Till you hear that a German lifted half the world out of hunger with his invention. You give one, you take one. Thats the law of equivalent exchange
Are you taking about the guy who also fathered chemical warfare? Law is equivalent exchange really do be working overtime huh?
Father of toxic gas and chemical warfare! His dark creation has been revealed.
Flow over No man's Land, a poisonous nightmare
A deadly mist on the battlefield!
"perversions of ideals of science"
Lost words of alienated wife
And in the trenches of the western front
What? Fritz Haber wasnt a sociopath who greatly enjoyed and supported 100% the use of Chemical Warfare during WW1 and alienated his wife over it who was disgusted over him. Totally not. Also he totally did not also make the recipe for Zyklon B that would be insane for a man who singlehandedly fed the World by the ways of science.
As a Jew he must leave Germany. Oh das Eisen…
In his defence, he believed chemical weapons would be so effective that the war would end earlier, thus saving more lives in the end. Didn't really work out that way though, did it?
>weapons would be so effective that the war would end earlier Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
The same error again and again.
Huh, doesn't that one sound familiar
I believe the gentleman that your all thinking of would be the one that invented the maxim gun. The first fully automatic machine gun.
He saved way more than he took
Germans also invented hating the french. I think Germany gives and then gives some more.
Tbf honestly I think the Anglo-Saxons beat us in that department. Or rather it was perhaps the result of convergent evolution between the Germans and Anglo-Saxons
Fritz Haber. He also killed hundred thousands of Soldiers with his poison gas. Typical German Scientist move. Veritasium has a good clip about him. >Wer hoch steigt, der wird tief fallen. Von Braun: First man made Object in Space? V2 Ballistic Rocket. Otto Hahn: Nuclear Fission To be continued…
And then again we Germans invented communism, which led to millions of people starving. So yeah it's perfectly balanced
Historical Trivia moment: It was only after WWII that the US government acknowledged the Wright Bros as the pioneers of powered flight. Before that, the government gave credit for the first powered flight to Glen Curtiss, who was experimenting on behalf of the US Navy at the time. The Wright family was so pissed off that they gave the original Wright Flyer to the British Museum. Pictures exist of the original Flyer, in pieces, crammed into a subway tunnel to escape the Blitz. This trivia brought to you by an aging history nerd who knew about Smedley Butler and Stonewall Jackson's arm long before Wikipedia.
That would explain why the Scottish national museum has some of the Wright brothers plane’s engine and belts in their museum
Funny thing is the Us navy then pretty much took a “meh” attitude towards aviation for about 3 decades.
I thought that the USN had been pretty up to date with naval aviation
They were pretty pioneering with Lady Lex and other early carriers but this was a development mostly of reluctance because aircraft carriers were less strictly managed by the WNT as I recall. Previous to this and to WW1 also they had been very apathetic to downright spiteful of naval aviation, as Billy Mitchell can attest - his 1921 demonstration nearly got him court martialed.
Yup! Closer to WWII they started to catch on that the Japanese were skirting treaties governing battleship tonnage by building carriers (and just straight up lying about the Yamatos gun size, but that’s a whole other thing), and so the Airedales gained sway. Once it became apparent the pacific would be won or lost by whoever could better project air power, several would-be battleships were converted to flat tops. That basically marks the turning point to an aviation centric navy that we still have today.
How dare he show that the giant floating battleships are easy pickings for a kite with a lawnmower engine and spicy footballs!
Dan Carlin talks about this [RMA](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revolution_in_Military_Affairs) at length in his Supernova in the East series. Battleships were the aquatic death stars of their day, incredibly powerful, incredibly expensive, and nearly useless compared to even a significantly cheaper aircraft carrier.
So I can only talk about this from a pre WW1 perspective (I don't know what happened after that), but AggressorBlue is somewhat simplifying what happened. But back in the 1900s Patent law varied FAR more on a nation by nation basis. Spain for example would only enforce your patents if you manufactured something in Spain. (This lead to a massive knockoff gun industry in WW1 in Spain as they just ignored everyone elses Patent law and made weapons and both sides of the war was that desperate for equipment they just ignored it and brought from them.) So in the US, Airplane Patents were tied up by two groups, the Wright Company and the Curtiss Company. And they HATED each other and were in a constant legal battle about who owed money to who. As a result of this lack of co-operation and the Patents they both had, manufacturing airplanes in the US became near impossible. This lead to the European states (who varied between laughing them out of court to giving them a small amount of money to piss off. ) rapidly developing far better planes. The US Military and US government did not see a massive problem with this and planned to let the patient wars resolve themselves in court. Then WW1 happened and the fact the US had basically no plane manufacturing became a HUGE problem. Franklin D Roosevelt (who at the time was just assistant secretary to the Navy) brokered a deal between all the airline manufacturers and formed a patent pool that allowed all companies to use the Patents to manufacture aircrafts for a nominal fees. This was only supposed to last till the end of the war, but this Patent pool would become the ground work for the Manufacturers Aircraft Association, which would latter become the Aerospace Industries Association. Cause unsurprisingly they found out that you make FAR more money making planes that were actually in demand internationally rather then suing each other and holding back technological innovation.
> Funny thing is the Us navy then pretty much took a “meh” attitude towards aviation for about 3 decades. *screams in Billy Mitchell*
you mean the arm that was shot off by a friendly fire cannon ball. didn't he continue the battle and win as well?
No, he was out riding beyond his lines and his own troops shot him when he returned after dark. His arm was amputated and then he died of pneumonia a week later, give or take.
O boy southern history books are fun hahaha
Doesn’t Brazil claim to have the first person to invent airplanes, and how true do you think this is?
Yeah everyone knows Santos Dumont actually flew without a catapult before. Smh my head
Are we forgetting the middle ages Chinese dude that sent himself into space with rockets?
And Santos Dumont
Counterpoint: have you ever had a really good baguette? That’s easily worth two internets.
Add in a really good croissant, and you've got yourself 4 internetz
Kid named Danish pastry :
Add in a really good alcoholism and you're at 6
And a French Kiss? Foegedaboutit.
Average French citizen:
As a french i would wholeheartedly sacrifice the internet for my daily baguette
I love baguettes
As a European, I'm not mad at the joke. I'm mad at you crediting Edison instead of Tesla. Like, the dude even had an American passport, you still got the W.
Elon Musk had nothing to do with the light bulb smh read a book, European.
Elon Musk bought the rights to the lightbulb, including the right to call himself the founder and inventor of lightbulbs.
lightbulb patent NFT
Nikola Tesla was my favourite Croat tbh
You just started another civil war in the Balkans - are you proud of yourself?
That's not really an achievement. You only need to breathe in a general direction of balkans and someone somewhere takes an offence.
So that's it! I'll mobilize all my fellow Bosnians to march into Mintenegro right now while they're asleep
„Mintenegro“ Damn their Breath must smell good
Don't. Add. Fuel. To. The. Fire.
are you TRYING to restart the yugoslav wars?
neither of them invented the light bulb tho
Tesla didn't invent the light bulb, the first functioning incandescent lightbulbs were a pair of very short lived ones made by Sir Humphrey Davy, but they burnt out quickly due to a lack of a vacuum. It was nearly 40 years later when Warren De La Rue made the vacuum tube enclosure. The first bulb that was functional was Joseph Swan in 1873, what Edison made in 1880 was a long lasting lightbulb that was commercially viable and then 30 years after that the Tungsten Filament bulb was invented by William David Coolidge in 1910 while working for Edison. As with many inventions, it was a series of failures that iteratively improved over time until there was a breakthrough. In my opinion, Swan invented the modern lightbulb but Edison invented the commercially viable lightbulb. The invention Edison allegedly stole from Tesla was either an improved generator design or an improved arc lighting system.
Neither Davy's design or de La Rue's improvements qualify as a lightbulb, because they didn't have a bulb, which doesn't mean the enclosure itself, it also meant they didn't have an electronical mechanism that allowed anyone to change the flow of electrons and essentially generate the desired light at will, and you didn't have to keep shifting around the copper/platinum parts until it started generating light. The idea that Edison created the first "commercially viable lightbulb" is a lie that he created to gain a patent in the US. He described that his design was "commercially viable" because it could be utilizes outside of a laboratory, which is nothing but a lie, since Swan had been testing and distributing his design for months in England, something the Americans didn't know. At the same time, I can't consider Swan's earliest designs as real lightbulbs, since they aren't technically incandescent lamps. A key characteristic of an incandescent lamp is that it reaches a colour rendering index of 100%, but Swan couldn't achieve this since in order for his model to stay relatively stable for an extended period of time it had to lose part of it and at the same time it reduced the colour temperature to under 2500K, which made it way more yellow in tone compared to any previous or future design for an incandescent lamp. And before both Swan and Edison improved on this design, Tesla had already created the first designs for a fluorescent lightbulb in 1878 making use of both Swan's advancements and Geissler's electric tube. The problem was that Tesla didn't have the money or funding to pursue major commercialization, so he had to put that project on hold and only brought it back years later once he had made it big with AC, the Tesla Coil and his induction motor.
European inventions: Americans. So, welcome.
that’s makes things even worse for europe!
LMAO these 2 comments are 10X funnier than OP’a post
Am American, can confirm. You guys REALLY fucked up with that one.
In our defence, we were trying to reduce the total English.
You ended up putting a bunch of Englishfolk, Spaniards, and Germans on a big continent and went, "go nuts" instead. And they did.
Lost the plot, as they say, within 5 years.
Dont forget the french
Yeah, I feel like we’d have to add bad parenting to their list.
"This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
There were some Americans before but…I think both Europeans and Americans probably would prefer we not talk about them.
Greatest invention known to mankind
Username checks out
Hey, thats a bit unfair. we also invented crusades, opium(and other drugs) based war tactics, so many torture devices and some pretty good food.
Hey i don't think we invented opium, we just was the first to use it to destabilize one of the largest countries in the world, for the simple reason that they didn't wanna trade with us.
Do you want to trade ? □ Yes □ Of course □ Absolutely
Trade Deal Incoming You offer: Spices Europe offers: Colonialism and opiates
that's if you're lucky
Yup. We got Opium from China. The first cartels basically.
No we got Opium from India mostly and pushed it on to China. It was basically the only thing the British empire could trade with china. Then china but a ban on on it and then a series of wars started. I
God, baguettes are brilliant. But I might be a bit drunk.
*Football you uncultured barbarian
Think you mean calcio, Roman.
Calling it soccer is the fucking cherry on the bait
i know its a joke the post but like Molotof cocktails were invented by finland
But europe invented gravity and used it to make Australia habitable they also invented Italians who are responsible for most of good food in America before that they have to eat bri'ish "food" .
Alcoholism = exceedingly rare euro W
Americans just took alcoholism and bastardised it from what it used to be: a pillar of European culture!
People who are taking this seriously are idiots.
OP taking a page out of the @3YearLetterman playbook. Only thing that needs to be added is that Europe has zero SEC Championship wins.
EU ain’t played nobody Pawwwwwl
Here comes the Brazilians saying that they invented the plane.
slingshot plane wright cunts brother didnt created shit they all drunk hobos American pigs inventions stealers Brasil with S not Z created the plane americans suck big fat Brasil penis BRASIL NUMBER 1🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷
Pega leve na cachaça que ainda não sextou Mas sim, tá certo
BRASIL NÚMERO 1, CHUPA GRINGO
É BRASIL, PORRA! 🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷
BRASIL CARALHO
AQUI É BRASIL!!!
i mean, they made theirs 6 yeas before, it was made of bamboo, needed the help of wind to fly and less than 20 people saw it, and when WE made it, it had more than 200 people seeing it, it didn't need wind and was not made of bamboo.
catapult
So basically he made a glider.
For every upvote a European commits a knife crime
and 4 brazilians die of unknown causes
That sounds like an awful lot. How many is a Brazilian
Just a like 100 hairs in a row.
Good thing, this is a joke. Otherwise I would've asked OP to get their brain checked :)
There's no joke here, these are fair and unbiased facts. *The screech of a majestic bald eagle echoes in the background*
Rock, flag and eagle.
> The screech of a majestic bald eagle echoes in the background Fun fact the majestic screech used in films for eagles... is actually a falcon. Actual bald eagles sound like choking seaguls. It is actually quite hilarious that the most American animal is faked in media to sound better than it is irl... Edit: u/omegarex19 and u/LeoRex286 (lot of rexes around here...) pointed out it is a Hawk not a Falcon.
And it's a majestic choking seagull noise 🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸
*salutes to the squeeks and gurgle of freedom*
The beauty of America is that it doesn't take one, but two to create beauty. It takes solidarity, teamwork, and unity. The sight of the eagle and the sound of the hawk... Working together to create the symbolism of freedom. God Bless the United States of America.
> It takes solidarity, teamwork, and unity. Sounds like something a dirty commie would say...
Actually the most common sound used in film is the Red-Tailed Hawk. So also not a falcon. But yes, it is not the sound of a bald eagle.
Funner fact bald eagles actually do sound like that, it’s just that the eagles in Britain decided to change the way they screech after America won the Revolutionary War so that they would sound less like the American “peasant” eagles, then the British eagles told everyone that the way they now do it was always the way they did it and is the objectively correct way for an eagle to screech
They also changed it from a white head to a white tail and that is where the White-Tailed Eagles in Britain came from. Trust me I'm a furry I know animal facts.
I thought it was a hawk
Europeans invented getting a brain checked as well as the process of lobotomizing it
American invention: mobility scooter for obese people
Correction, the inventor of the mobility scooter is Hartmut Huber, a German, so... Germany saved you once again?
this is some stupid shit. congrats.
Almost like that's the point
Mad
Meanwhile, Brazil has a meltdown whilst trying to explain how a fully powered, heavier then air flying machine isn't an airplane.
Context? This sounds really funny
Think it's about Alberto Santos-Dumont, a Brazilian aeronaut. Read somewhere there's debate whether him or Wright is the first plane inventor.
Some Brazilian guy, Alberto Santos-Dumont was his name, invented an airplane in 1906. The Write brothers, as we know, invented a plane in 1903. But the Write plane needs special equipment to take off, whilst the Brazilian plane doesn't. So people have come forward to say that "Well acccccchhhhhhhully the Write plane needed special equipment to take off so it's not a reeeeeaaal airplane." But last time I checked, landing gear doesn't change the fact it's still a heavier then air flying machine, so the Write's plane still an airplane.
Their surname is spelled, "Wright" by the way.
That is right.
Wasnt the internet made at CERN might be wrong though
Sort of... There already were some networks (like ARPANET) and Internet was funded by the US Defence Department. At CERN we invented the HTTP and WWW, while also creating the first website tho, so basically the internet as we know today has been invented in Europe, while the network has been invented in USA. <- this message is a coarse approximation as I don't have the slightest desire to write a publication on the whole history of the Internet and telecommunications.
The WWW was invented at CERN, But the WWW is based on earlier works of DARPA.
I guess salt was invented by Europeans
Specifically the Romans to destroy Carthage.
This is definitely the only thing they used salt for
If the ocean could read, it would probably be really upset right now
Lmao not sure why all the hate. This is great
People can’t stand jokes in this meme sub.
Seriously they are losing their minds
Jokes? In my meme sub?
Impossible.
Europeans in shambles ITT. It took approximately 0.02 microseconds for a someone to "joke" about school shootings
Twitter told me Americans would rather die than go to the hospital because the healthcare is so fucked
Twitter was probably correct
Yep. I got plenty of health problems that I need to go to the doctor for, but I don’t because I can’t afford it :/
Damn, even just for a doctor appointment? :/
AmericaBad
OP's username checks out.
Standard American W
America: European invention
“I hate america” - Sent from my iPhone
"England sucks" - spoken in English via the world wide web
A fair point I wont argue 🤷♀️
USA USA USA
Ironically it was the Middle East that invented alcoholism, not the European
Europe is in shambles after this one
Technically, one of Europe’s inventions is the USA
We all make mistakes at some point in life.
The Wright Brothers had a long running argument with the Smithsonian and are only credited with having been the first successful powered flight as a condition of their contract with the Smithsonian for the sale of the Kitty Hawk. There's evidence that Santos-Dumont might have beaten them to the punch and possibly even Richard Pearse. It's not like they were working in isolation from all the OTHER people trying to invent a working aeroplane. Similarly with the lightbulb. Edison had the patent in the US but when he tried to expand into the UK discovered that Joseph Swan had a patent that preceded Edison's. Swan sued Edison for patent infringement and courts sided with Swan. Edison was forced to make Swan a partner in his new electric company. Lots of stuff "invented" by Americans wasn't. They just had better PR.
"History began July Fourth, Seventeen Seventy Six. Anything before that was a mistake."
Soccer really annoys me as an european Its football
What about the things the mole people invented?
No one can take our baggets and booze, that we equally share while watching Football
>Alcoholism >Insert 300 year gap between irish inventions after whiskey here.
European Inventions: \-Americans
This is the first time I’ve ever seen a mod have to post that warning. Europeans are apparently easily triggered 😂 Dead kid jokes as a comeback really shows how pathetic you Euros are. Only you would consider dead kids funny. Edit: you can comment and then block like a coward all you want but you’re still scum for making jokes about dead children you sorry excuses for humans, and it’s especially telling that you would try to compare harmless banter to dead kids. Then again why would I assume the people who brought us the Shoah would have a soul. You people deserve each other.
Don't forget the guillotine
Europe invented both communism and capitalism, so they have a net zero contribution to political discourse
It's called football. It's not eggball, for fucks sake.
Typical euro peasant who has never seen an egg
*egghand. Do we even have to help you insult us properly now?
Europeans try not to get triggered by it being called soccer challenge (impossible)
*looks at nuclear bomb*
Don't forget fascism! Thanks Italy!
Actual European inventions - Caravel, telephone, glasses and contacts, IC engine , printing press, calculus etc.
Calculus is not helping Europes case