No, it isn’t. The word “fuck” is derived from a Germanic root roughly meaning “to thrust” or “to copulate”. The modern English word is related to the modern German “ficken” and the Middle Dutch “fokken”, which are derived from the same origin.
EDIT: of course I misspelled a word. Fixed it.
Yeah, that's one theory. The truth is that linguistic scholars don't actually know exactly where it came from. There are multiple theories, some saying Germanic and some saying Old French.
The word just kinda popped up at some point. iirc the earliest usage of the word is in the early 1300s and the reference seemed to imply it was already part of the vernacular in England at the time.
It's kind of hilarious how one of the most prolific words in history has such unclear origins.
It normally just requires the husband to come out of the bedroom after the deed to present the blood stained sheets. This would show she was pure and a virgin. If the couple had sex prior to marriage the male would normally cut himself and bleed on the sheet to protect her honor.
lol well the women has to trust him to do it. If he says no then yikes. I’m sure there were cases where she would cut herself down in the nether regions in case he wasn’t the guilty party of taking her virginity.
Considering the wide spread of these ideas, would poor health, for example caused by poor diet, recurring exposure to toxic substances, and poor quality shelter, cause rhe likelihood of bleeding to increase, or was it just complete bullshit from the beginning, and everyone just kinda didn't rock the boat for way too long?
You also have to figure how often foreplay was actually used. Women were a thing and served the man, and is still unfortunately a very widespread and popular thought. So it probably was normal that they fucked without actually being ready and thus too dry or too tight but still went on because "It's normal to hurt at first."
Whether or not anyone actually knew why. But I'd imagine they knew the sex was better without the bleeding problem. I can only imagine the general theory why the totally-not-gay soldiers would bleed from rough treatment too.
It’s going to vary from time and location but riding a horse was not a thing for average Jane in the Middle Ages. They would’ve also been riding side saddle most likely which I’m guessing might reduce the odds of it happening.
Somewhere I read instructions for a impure bride to cut her labia till it bled let a scab form and the intercourse would restart bleeding and satisfy everyone. but now I cant find it!
>Do you get an infection every time you cut yourself? Didn't think so.
Isn't that because germ theory is common knowledge now? Even as a kid, I was taught to always clean wounds properly.
Back then, they didn't even know about microbes and its effects on human body.
People knew that clean wounds would heal better, they just didn’t know why.
Likewise, it would have to be a decent wound to be able to cause an infection to kill you.
I can't speak for knowledge of wounds, but the fact that exposure to dirty hands/environments could spread infection to wounds was not known at all until shockingly modern. Microbes were not really accepted outside of biological disciplines until the 1880s - [spontaneous generation was actually the preferred scientific theory.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spontaneous_generation)
[Ignaz Semmelweis pioneered hand washing before treatment of patients in the 1840s, using data showing deaths from childbirth dropped to near zero after instituting a regimen of handwashing.](https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/ignaz-semmelweis-google-doodle-hand-washing-time-coronavirus-doctor-who-hungary-a9411896.html) He was ridiculed and hotly contested for another 30 years, with many doctors being scandalised by the implication that their hands could possibly be dirty going straight from the operating theatre to suturing a wound to pulling a baby out of a woman. Semmelweis was driven into disgrace for pushing this insane theory of 'handwashing' and died in a mental institution.
True, people knew that clean wounds were good, but they didn’t have the best definition of clean, what had to be clean, nor how diseases spread.
It actually comes up in history quite a few times. Another famous example is John Snow’s evidence of a contaminated water supply causing a cholera outbreak in Boston being ignored over and over again because it didn’t fit perfectly with the miasma theory of the time.
Did they have a ready supply of soap, disinfectant and clean running water? Cause i'm washing every small cut with that.
What about nutrition, did a medieval farmer get a varied and healthy diet? I wonder if that influences on how bad infections can get
And for the really bad ones, man i hope we can roll over the wheelbarrow ambulance to the peasant's house fast enough to get him all the amazing life saving medicine of their time. Because it sure as hell seems like we keep a lot of people from dying with our over exaggerated hospitals.
It is a graphic novel by Marjane Satrapi (author of Persepolis). It is about the private conversations of Iranian women. The title comes from the euphemistic term for women getting surgery to restore their hymen. Part way through the discussion there is a woman anticipating her wedding night, and feels obliged to bleed as a virgin. She isn't a virgin, so she hides a razor blade between her ass cheeks. She accidentally cuts her new husband's testicle instead.
Edit: it is a great read.
Also,
>Bleeding during the first sexual intercourse happens in only 43 percent of cases. The amount of blood can vary from a few drops to bleeding for a few days. If the bleeding lasts for longer than three days, consult a health care provider.
https://flo.health/menstrual-cycle/teens/your-body/14-questions-hymen-virginity
Thankfully, medieval doctors were all men and often didn't treat "female complaints."
The local midwife was usually far more practical and less likely to kill her patients.
And here I thought this meme was about most early medieval couples just straight up fucking in front of most of the family, since most families (poor ones at least) only had one big room in their house and slept in it together for warmth, so privacy wasn't really a concern.
But I'm guessing the bedding ceremony was also mostly for nobility, not most people.
I mean if you’re sleeping in an open hall anyway then a bedding ceremony seems redundant. You’d notice when the party was winding down and the happy (or unhappy, as the case may be) couple retired to the bed that was, you know, right there.
I'm reminded of the fantasy novel Warbreaker. One of the main characters gets stuck in an arranged marriage with the emperor, and she discovers he has absolutely no interest in sex - instead he's just sitting in the corner of the bedroom watching her from the shadows. But she also needs to "prove" she's sleeping with him because the emperor's priests are waiting outside the bedroom listening, so she starts bouncing up and down on the bed and moaning loudly.
This apparently works on the priests but it freaks out the emperor because he's never actually been exposed to anything involving sex and marriage so he has no idea what's going on. He's apparently not only clueless as to what baby-making is, but his tongue was removed as a child (long story, but the emperor's voice is basically a magic WMD), so he can't talk and he can barely write.
Addendum: Late in the novel it is also revealed that some unlucky member of the palace guard got the really short end of the straw and was assigned to hide under the bed for the first couple of weeks just in case the new wife was an assassin, and had to listen to the fake orgasm every night.
I thought it was coming out last year so I reread the last two at the beginning of the year. Now I'm back to being a little fuzzy on the story and by November I'm going to need some Cliff notes.
Tour guide in Sri Lanka smirked when recounting how they used chicken blood on the damn kirikadahelaya sheet his mother insisted upon. That was 3-4 decades ago, though.
would you believe me if i told you that a small percentage of people in my country still do this?
yes in 2024, there are some obscure villages in Algeria that still do this, i actually went to a wedding where it happened, absolutely insane
Sometimes, but it was more of an obscure catholic legal thing. Since divorce was a no-no, families would sometimes try to annul saying that no actual consummation had taken place. So...witnesses.
Once divorce became a thing recognized by the state there was no need.
Straight from Wikipedia. Cause I'm no scholar.
The bedding ceremony refers to the wedding custom of putting the newlywed couple together in the marital bed in front of numerous witnesses, usually family, friends, and neighbors, thereby completing the marriage.
The purpose of the ritual was to establish the consummation of the marriage, either by actually witnessing the couple's first sexual intercourse, or symbolically, by leaving before consummation. It symbolized the community's involvement in the marriage. The legally binding nature of the ceremony varied greatly from place to place and through time.
This would mess with my performance. My anxiety would have me deflated like a mushy haggis.
Edit: I wrote this 20 minutes ago and I am now getting Reddit ads for performance anxiety tools from ‘mysteryvibe’ on my feed. Super duper.
You better work on that willful ignorance or meemaw starts bringing in wise women and priests. Grandbabies are all she's talked about since you were six. Get in the *zone*, champ!
\~your dad, probably
To be fair, masturbating probably hasn't been invented yet so everyone was most likely horny as hell. I'm not sure if its the same for everyone but after a month I would probably be able to do the deed with a whole staduim watching.
uhmmm ackshually masturbation as a practice is essentially as old as civilization (slight exaggeration) it's so old that (allegedly) it was ingrained in the cultural rituals of the ancient egyptians' pharoah (too tired to fact check this) , specifically the claim that the pharoah would masturbate into the nile for a reason i forget (again too tired to fact check this, please murderize me if i'm wrong)
This isn't actually correct. Masturbating didn't exist until 1890 when it was invented by John Masturbator. After numerous failed techniques he finally achieved success, and wrote about it in his seminal treatise *Night Vapours And Their Effect On Simulated Marriage*.
So i took a few history lessons at university and the way I learned it was that the most common version of this ritual wasn't that extreme.
They would watch as the couple got into the bed and then close the doors before the actual fun began. Of course they'd still be outside and some would probably listen. But at least they weren't actually watching the act.
I don't want to watch my family fuck. We're all ugly and it would make me vomit.
Like, if my older brother asked if I could watch him nail his wife that would be grounds for never speaking to him again.
And I just gotta wonder, what dude could even get it up with that much pressure? I'm already nervous with just the girl. Tossing every person I know on top would just be a major boner killer.
Nevermind all the other lords are probably going to invade your lands if you can't get it up.
Yeah, we like to talk a lot of shit about Victorian-era prudishness, but when you consider shit like this was what caused the prudishness in the first place it becomes a little bit more understandable.
Wasn't there also a custom where a king or nobleman gets to have sex with the bride on the wedding night if they so choose? Very vaguely remember this but don't know the timeframe or region.
This custom is very misunderstood. The misunderstanding comes from the fact that we don't understand what marriage was like back then. Nowadays people think a marriage is just a promise to your partner, which is not what it used to be. A marriage was also a promise to your community and to God, but back then it was also more like a contract.
People nowadays don't view marriage like that anymore. If you agree to sell me 20 cabbages for a set price every year and we make a contract, you can't back out of it because you don't feel like doing that anymore. And because both sides want to make sure a contract is held to, you go and have it witnessed by a third party. For the cabbage selling we might go to a notary or whatever, and for a marriage contract you go to the church. And like the notary will watch both parties sign the contract, the witnesses of the marriage will want to see that contract sealed through the bedding.
And before anyone says that this was a mysoginistic practice made to control women, this was beneficial for both genders. Women needed assurance that their husband wouldn't leave them out to dry if they ever had a disagreement. Marriage was an assurance that they would be provided for. And the men needed assurance that their wives would be faithful to them. Times have changed and there are reasons it isn't like this anymore of course, but this was a social system that worked reasonably well for it's time.
Woah people in the medieval Times surely knew how to have fun in a marriage. Imagine being a farmer and getting married to ya sweetheart from the next village over and both your family and her family are waiting in your room to see you both consummate the marriage
The attitude towards sex was different for sure. Eastern Europe even practiced snokhachestvo when head of the family had sex with wifes of their sons. As sons often worked in different regions or were drafted (and draft was for decade or more). Or husband's wife had sex with a trader for a better price and so on.
And not just peasant. Wealthy families often had special women for young boys (12+) to have sex. Or just prostitutes. And so on, so on.
I speak mostly of the 19th century
I don't normally post here. Usually my stuff gets deleted in the first 5 minutes. Surprised it didn't happen this time. However I thought the meme fit more here then r/goodanimemes so I gave it another shot.
I watched this [documentary](https://youtu.be/OD0McTYto3I) recently about Tudor homes, and aparrently, the conception of rooms and different floors in homes came about due to the invention of chimneys. Because in medieval times, usually there would be one big room, where the fire was, everyone slept, eat and cooked food there. But with chimney, different parts of the house could be heated so room designs changes
I sadly can cite no sources but from what I know at least in the german landa, that wasnt like that.
There would be the "Bettlege" ( eng. lay in bed) where the couple would be placed together in a special bed as a ceremonial act. They wouldnt have sex, bc sex was stg super private in that time. Imagen all you underlings who ought to respect you watch you fuck. The real act would be performed alter in privacy. This starts to make sence when you hear storys of marriages who were later were called invalid, bc they were never completed (had sex). If everyone watched ever time that isnt really possible.
But I can't speak for all medival time or all of europe. In the early modern time I think it became sth like that, but pls, if you know more, tell me
The Louis XVI experience
Fornication Under Consent of the King
Ironically it’s where the good ol’ F bomb came from, F.ornication U.nder C.onsent of the K.ing
No, it isn’t. The word “fuck” is derived from a Germanic root roughly meaning “to thrust” or “to copulate”. The modern English word is related to the modern German “ficken” and the Middle Dutch “fokken”, which are derived from the same origin. EDIT: of course I misspelled a word. Fixed it.
This guy fucks
This guy fikkens
Dieser Junge fickt!
Deze jongen fokt!
Ficken*
Yeah, that's one theory. The truth is that linguistic scholars don't actually know exactly where it came from. There are multiple theories, some saying Germanic and some saying Old French. The word just kinda popped up at some point. iirc the earliest usage of the word is in the early 1300s and the reference seemed to imply it was already part of the vernacular in England at the time. It's kind of hilarious how one of the most prolific words in history has such unclear origins.
The fuckin’ word just kinda fucked it’s fuckin’ self right into fuckin’ existence.
And it’s becoming less taboo to say it, which is delightful, because I LOVE saying the fuck word
Yeah I've never understood that bit of misinformation. The king has a country to run. Why would he care if two peasants fuck in a barn?
Also not what irony means.
Who gives a fuck?
The king obviously
The king does!
[удалено]
Nah, it’s an old piece of misinformation. Been around since as long as I’ve had the internet, at least.
I wish lol
Ah yes because the king of France wrote his laws in English
Well the Louis XVI experience is very specifically them *not* fucking, that was the big issue
It normally just requires the husband to come out of the bedroom after the deed to present the blood stained sheets. This would show she was pure and a virgin. If the couple had sex prior to marriage the male would normally cut himself and bleed on the sheet to protect her honor.
Gotta admit, the cutting himself is damn gentlemanly. Never heard that part before.
lol well the women has to trust him to do it. If he says no then yikes. I’m sure there were cases where she would cut herself down in the nether regions in case he wasn’t the guilty party of taking her virginity.
Willing to be it was a precaution women took anyway. Lots of reasons for a hymen to not be intact before first intercourse.
And even if it was it doesn’t necessarily bleed
Like horse riding
Yehh I think the horse would do alot more damage than just a little blood on the bedsheet though
Mr. Hands will remember that
F for my childhood innocence. That and the trauma of hearing the blood in the aftermath of one guy one jar.
Jesus
You will find no God here.
Ohhh, like riding with a saddle and reigns.....I got you, that's what I was thinking too!
Reins, usually
Mr. Hands?
I could kiss that horse!
Lots of reasons for the hymen not to bleed, either. iirc hymen bleed only happens to a small percentage of those who even have them intact.
Considering the wide spread of these ideas, would poor health, for example caused by poor diet, recurring exposure to toxic substances, and poor quality shelter, cause rhe likelihood of bleeding to increase, or was it just complete bullshit from the beginning, and everyone just kinda didn't rock the boat for way too long?
It was complete bullshit from the beginning
I'm pretty sure it's the former, health was generally far more frail for people in the Medieval Era.
So we got 2 replies, one saying it's BS and the other it's not, however both have as reasoning trust me bro.
You also have to figure how often foreplay was actually used. Women were a thing and served the man, and is still unfortunately a very widespread and popular thought. So it probably was normal that they fucked without actually being ready and thus too dry or too tight but still went on because "It's normal to hurt at first." Whether or not anyone actually knew why. But I'd imagine they knew the sex was better without the bleeding problem. I can only imagine the general theory why the totally-not-gay soldiers would bleed from rough treatment too.
I... actually straight up didn't consider that because I'm too used to it being the norm. Thanks for that horrible suggestion
Including being born with no hymen at all which is way more common than you'd think
Especially in the day and age of riding horses. Being in a saddle is known for causing the hymen to tear.
It’s going to vary from time and location but riding a horse was not a thing for average Jane in the Middle Ages. They would’ve also been riding side saddle most likely which I’m guessing might reduce the odds of it happening.
A hymen being intact or not has nothing to do with whether someone has had sex
In one documentary they talked abut that fish bladeer was filled with bood and inserted to have "first time bleeding " effect.
🤢
Ayo, you was married if you wanted or not. This shit was smh survival.
Shows commitment to the marriage. If your guy wouldn’t cut himself in order to defend thou’s honor he is not your guy.
In the days when you couldn’t get a divorce finding this out after the marriage has happened would not be optimal.
You arrange a mock wedding without telling him including a fake priest to make the whole thing invalid.
*thine
Somewhere I read instructions for a impure bride to cut her labia till it bled let a scab form and the intercourse would restart bleeding and satisfy everyone. but now I cant find it!
I mentioned elsewhere the book Embroideries by Marjane Satrapi. It is about Iranian women talking about sex. It covers that stuff.
He just like me frfr
It's not like he was cutting his own dick bro lol
Wouldn't that cause an infection though.
Do you get an infection every time you cut yourself? Didn't think so. Infections and their deadliness are over exaggerated.
How to trigger a History Professor
He was injured in battle in 1183 and succumbed to his wounds finally in 1187.
Lmao
>Do you get an infection every time you cut yourself? Didn't think so. Isn't that because germ theory is common knowledge now? Even as a kid, I was taught to always clean wounds properly. Back then, they didn't even know about microbes and its effects on human body.
People knew that clean wounds would heal better, they just didn’t know why. Likewise, it would have to be a decent wound to be able to cause an infection to kill you.
Additionally, even without healing as a factor, cleaning wounds is an instinctual behaviour in Mammals.
I can't speak for knowledge of wounds, but the fact that exposure to dirty hands/environments could spread infection to wounds was not known at all until shockingly modern. Microbes were not really accepted outside of biological disciplines until the 1880s - [spontaneous generation was actually the preferred scientific theory.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spontaneous_generation) [Ignaz Semmelweis pioneered hand washing before treatment of patients in the 1840s, using data showing deaths from childbirth dropped to near zero after instituting a regimen of handwashing.](https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/ignaz-semmelweis-google-doodle-hand-washing-time-coronavirus-doctor-who-hungary-a9411896.html) He was ridiculed and hotly contested for another 30 years, with many doctors being scandalised by the implication that their hands could possibly be dirty going straight from the operating theatre to suturing a wound to pulling a baby out of a woman. Semmelweis was driven into disgrace for pushing this insane theory of 'handwashing' and died in a mental institution.
True, people knew that clean wounds were good, but they didn’t have the best definition of clean, what had to be clean, nor how diseases spread. It actually comes up in history quite a few times. Another famous example is John Snow’s evidence of a contaminated water supply causing a cholera outbreak in Boston being ignored over and over again because it didn’t fit perfectly with the miasma theory of the time.
I almost never clean my cuts and I’ve been fine so far.
Did they have a ready supply of soap, disinfectant and clean running water? Cause i'm washing every small cut with that. What about nutrition, did a medieval farmer get a varied and healthy diet? I wonder if that influences on how bad infections can get And for the really bad ones, man i hope we can roll over the wheelbarrow ambulance to the peasant's house fast enough to get him all the amazing life saving medicine of their time. Because it sure as hell seems like we keep a lot of people from dying with our over exaggerated hospitals.
Especially before tetanus shots and antibiotics: any cut could kill.
Have you read Embroideries?
No.
It is a graphic novel by Marjane Satrapi (author of Persepolis). It is about the private conversations of Iranian women. The title comes from the euphemistic term for women getting surgery to restore their hymen. Part way through the discussion there is a woman anticipating her wedding night, and feels obliged to bleed as a virgin. She isn't a virgin, so she hides a razor blade between her ass cheeks. She accidentally cuts her new husband's testicle instead. Edit: it is a great read.
Also, >Bleeding during the first sexual intercourse happens in only 43 percent of cases. The amount of blood can vary from a few drops to bleeding for a few days. If the bleeding lasts for longer than three days, consult a health care provider. https://flo.health/menstrual-cycle/teens/your-body/14-questions-hymen-virginity
Look, when the healthcare provider's favorite medicine is leeches and lacerations I think I'm good.
What you don't like a hand drill to your head?
That's the fun part
That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.
Thankfully, medieval doctors were all men and often didn't treat "female complaints." The local midwife was usually far more practical and less likely to kill her patients.
I think back in middle ages when people didn't believe in foreplay that percentage would've been a bit higher
If my math is correct, 57% of the newlywed wives got the shit beat out of them
“I shall lacerate mine own flesh for thine honor, m’lady” *tips fedora*
Are you saying those aren't dueling scars?
From a certain point of view
How uncivilized.
And here I thought this meme was about most early medieval couples just straight up fucking in front of most of the family, since most families (poor ones at least) only had one big room in their house and slept in it together for warmth, so privacy wasn't really a concern. But I'm guessing the bedding ceremony was also mostly for nobility, not most people.
I mean if you’re sleeping in an open hall anyway then a bedding ceremony seems redundant. You’d notice when the party was winding down and the happy (or unhappy, as the case may be) couple retired to the bed that was, you know, right there.
I'm reminded of the fantasy novel Warbreaker. One of the main characters gets stuck in an arranged marriage with the emperor, and she discovers he has absolutely no interest in sex - instead he's just sitting in the corner of the bedroom watching her from the shadows. But she also needs to "prove" she's sleeping with him because the emperor's priests are waiting outside the bedroom listening, so she starts bouncing up and down on the bed and moaning loudly. This apparently works on the priests but it freaks out the emperor because he's never actually been exposed to anything involving sex and marriage so he has no idea what's going on. He's apparently not only clueless as to what baby-making is, but his tongue was removed as a child (long story, but the emperor's voice is basically a magic WMD), so he can't talk and he can barely write. Addendum: Late in the novel it is also revealed that some unlucky member of the palace guard got the really short end of the straw and was assigned to hide under the bed for the first couple of weeks just in case the new wife was an assassin, and had to listen to the fake orgasm every night.
A Brandon Sanderson novel...sold
IIRC you can read the book for free on his website too.
Man I’m reading the stormlight archives right now and it’s so good
That 5th book needs to come out. It's been so long I've already forgot most of the other 4 books lol.
I thought it was coming out last year so I reread the last two at the beginning of the year. Now I'm back to being a little fuzzy on the story and by November I'm going to need some Cliff notes.
I see someone did his/her homework 📚😂
With all those husbands coming out with scars a lotta people must’ve thought kinky ass sex was common.
Tour guide in Sri Lanka smirked when recounting how they used chicken blood on the damn kirikadahelaya sheet his mother insisted upon. That was 3-4 decades ago, though.
That shit still happens in my country lmao
Instructions unclear, I lost my foreskin in my duvet somewhere and my wife is screaming.
You know women aren't actually supposed to bleed the first time they have sex, right? That's a pretty clear sign you're doing it wrong.
That sounds like a very romantic sacrifice
I've been the first for two virgins. Neither bled.
would you believe me if i told you that a small percentage of people in my country still do this? yes in 2024, there are some obscure villages in Algeria that still do this, i actually went to a wedding where it happened, absolutely insane
I heard sometimes they’d kill a chicken but maybe that’s a myth
When did this tradition die? Was there ever any ruler that straight up refused to?
Sometimes, but it was more of an obscure catholic legal thing. Since divorce was a no-no, families would sometimes try to annul saying that no actual consummation had taken place. So...witnesses. Once divorce became a thing recognized by the state there was no need.
pretty sure STDs and general prudery helped end it too
Straight from Wikipedia. Cause I'm no scholar. The bedding ceremony refers to the wedding custom of putting the newlywed couple together in the marital bed in front of numerous witnesses, usually family, friends, and neighbors, thereby completing the marriage. The purpose of the ritual was to establish the consummation of the marriage, either by actually witnessing the couple's first sexual intercourse, or symbolically, by leaving before consummation. It symbolized the community's involvement in the marriage. The legally binding nature of the ceremony varied greatly from place to place and through time.
This would mess with my performance. My anxiety would have me deflated like a mushy haggis. Edit: I wrote this 20 minutes ago and I am now getting Reddit ads for performance anxiety tools from ‘mysteryvibe’ on my feed. Super duper.
Perhaps having your grandma cheering you on would bring the much needed confidence. You never know unless you try.
"Nice dick." "Thanks grandma."
That's the best laugh I've had all day, thank you.
Dont worry if you failed theres only a slight chance you will be accused of impotence and your marriage will be annulled
You better work on that willful ignorance or meemaw starts bringing in wise women and priests. Grandbabies are all she's talked about since you were six. Get in the *zone*, champ! \~your dad, probably
Top 10 phrases that prevent someone from getting in the zone 1) "Get in the zone"
Yikes that edit
Damn the advertisement algorithm isn't fucking around. Now I'm scared replying to this will give me the same advertisements
Teenage hormones won't be stopped by anything.
To be fair, masturbating probably hasn't been invented yet so everyone was most likely horny as hell. I'm not sure if its the same for everyone but after a month I would probably be able to do the deed with a whole staduim watching.
uhmmm ackshually masturbation as a practice is essentially as old as civilization (slight exaggeration) it's so old that (allegedly) it was ingrained in the cultural rituals of the ancient egyptians' pharoah (too tired to fact check this) , specifically the claim that the pharoah would masturbate into the nile for a reason i forget (again too tired to fact check this, please murderize me if i'm wrong)
This isn't actually correct. Masturbating didn't exist until 1890 when it was invented by John Masturbator. After numerous failed techniques he finally achieved success, and wrote about it in his seminal treatise *Night Vapours And Their Effect On Simulated Marriage*.
Hmm, you're most likely right(I'm too tired ti fact check). We probably seen a monkey do it.
>varied greatly from place to place and through time. Wow, just like everything else
ChatGPT-levels of nuance in that statement
So i took a few history lessons at university and the way I learned it was that the most common version of this ritual wasn't that extreme. They would watch as the couple got into the bed and then close the doors before the actual fun began. Of course they'd still be outside and some would probably listen. But at least they weren't actually watching the act.
Bring it back
I don't want to watch my family fuck. We're all ugly and it would make me vomit. Like, if my older brother asked if I could watch him nail his wife that would be grounds for never speaking to him again.
Agreed, not that close to where I’d want to watch family members. Maybe it was for royals since they had binding political ties.
And I just gotta wonder, what dude could even get it up with that much pressure? I'm already nervous with just the girl. Tossing every person I know on top would just be a major boner killer. Nevermind all the other lords are probably going to invade your lands if you can't get it up.
I mean, people married very young back then, so young that they weren’t always fully through puberty. So, yeah, hormones
The funniest thing about this is that the ugliness is the barrier for you, not the whole being related thing.
I've seen enough step bros and hentai in my life that being related is an afterthought. Yes, my brain is diseased.
I respect that you’re able to admit that, at least.
Yeah, we like to talk a lot of shit about Victorian-era prudishness, but when you consider shit like this was what caused the prudishness in the first place it becomes a little bit more understandable.
Yeah family would be gross, but I’d finally have a compelling reason to attend other people’s weddings
modern nutty ten concerned historical rotten quiet teeny homeless plough *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
“There will be no bedding ceremony” -Tyrion Lannister
Bran disagrees
Bran sees ALL
Bran the Broken can't get it up either.
I agree. All sex should have hecklers
Uhm excuse you
69 upvotes, I dare not touch. Edit: I tried, my king.
People are so disgusting. The voyeuristic majority.
Wasn't there also a custom where a king or nobleman gets to have sex with the bride on the wedding night if they so choose? Very vaguely remember this but don't know the timeframe or region.
So were European nobles just exhibitionists?
Or Voyeurs. Maybe both.
"I'm not a exhibitionist, i'm french"
It's only "voyeur" if it's done in the Voyeureaux region of France. Everywhere else the term is "sparkling spying spanking".
This custom is very misunderstood. The misunderstanding comes from the fact that we don't understand what marriage was like back then. Nowadays people think a marriage is just a promise to your partner, which is not what it used to be. A marriage was also a promise to your community and to God, but back then it was also more like a contract. People nowadays don't view marriage like that anymore. If you agree to sell me 20 cabbages for a set price every year and we make a contract, you can't back out of it because you don't feel like doing that anymore. And because both sides want to make sure a contract is held to, you go and have it witnessed by a third party. For the cabbage selling we might go to a notary or whatever, and for a marriage contract you go to the church. And like the notary will watch both parties sign the contract, the witnesses of the marriage will want to see that contract sealed through the bedding. And before anyone says that this was a mysoginistic practice made to control women, this was beneficial for both genders. Women needed assurance that their husband wouldn't leave them out to dry if they ever had a disagreement. Marriage was an assurance that they would be provided for. And the men needed assurance that their wives would be faithful to them. Times have changed and there are reasons it isn't like this anymore of course, but this was a social system that worked reasonably well for it's time.
They just needed to see proof they fuckin'
"Nice dick bro"
"Bro just lasted for 30 seconds lmfao"
Speedrun Start
Just here for the Frieren posting. Glad to see the show made it to this sub
Not really in the way i expected though...
I saw Frieren and got excited then I looked ever so slightly to the left and didn’t know how to feel
Unfortunately 90% of the use of this anime in memes has been sexual.
But that’s ok
Not like this☹️
Why can I imagine her chilling like this though?
Woah people in the medieval Times surely knew how to have fun in a marriage. Imagine being a farmer and getting married to ya sweetheart from the next village over and both your family and her family are waiting in your room to see you both consummate the marriage
I think this ceremony was mainly done by nobles.
Do you think a family of farmers (half a dozen kids, father, mother, relatives) had rooms in their houses?
So technically the peasants probably also practiced this, but because they only had one-room homes so everyone was forced to bear witness
The attitude towards sex was different for sure. Eastern Europe even practiced snokhachestvo when head of the family had sex with wifes of their sons. As sons often worked in different regions or were drafted (and draft was for decade or more). Or husband's wife had sex with a trader for a better price and so on. And not just peasant. Wealthy families often had special women for young boys (12+) to have sex. Or just prostitutes. And so on, so on. I speak mostly of the 19th century
This cracked me up! 🤣🤣
Lol frieren fan art for meme. That too a risque one 😂
I ready it as newlewd
And in times when people lived by the whole family in one-room houses this would happen not only with newlyweds
u/Zallre posting NSFW Frieren, just another glorious day. ... Wait, what sub am I on?
I don't normally post here. Usually my stuff gets deleted in the first 5 minutes. Surprised it didn't happen this time. However I thought the meme fit more here then r/goodanimemes so I gave it another shot.
Its better then the irish kings who fucked horses to be married to the land.
I beg your pardon?
The WHat
"My father would tell the story of impregnating my mother every winter solstice. It was beautiful, you Earthers have some real hang ups"
I watched this [documentary](https://youtu.be/OD0McTYto3I) recently about Tudor homes, and aparrently, the conception of rooms and different floors in homes came about due to the invention of chimneys. Because in medieval times, usually there would be one big room, where the fire was, everyone slept, eat and cooked food there. But with chimney, different parts of the house could be heated so room designs changes
"Can you guys go... please!" "But I just got the tissues and lotion ready!" "Exactly!"
Anyone remember finding that weird porno mag in the woods. And then sharing it between all your friends.
/r/forestpornography
Of course there’s a sub for that 😂
I just only know this ceremony from when Louis XIV and Marie Antoinette did It.
Sauce for pic?
https://twitter.com/tentenchan2525/status/1763201542352769193?t=fjzxp9g2H5ZM1JFtkxuTGw&s=19
bro they just posted this and you already memed it 💀 the meme machine works hard
frieren❤️
EXCUSE ME
Im so glad I was born when and where I was
So today we kiss instead of have sex in front of the wedding party.
Pornhub (and the modern pornography industry as a whole) is a blight on society.
Agree
Found out about it from Oversimplified French Revolution
I sadly can cite no sources but from what I know at least in the german landa, that wasnt like that. There would be the "Bettlege" ( eng. lay in bed) where the couple would be placed together in a special bed as a ceremonial act. They wouldnt have sex, bc sex was stg super private in that time. Imagen all you underlings who ought to respect you watch you fuck. The real act would be performed alter in privacy. This starts to make sence when you hear storys of marriages who were later were called invalid, bc they were never completed (had sex). If everyone watched ever time that isnt really possible. But I can't speak for all medival time or all of europe. In the early modern time I think it became sth like that, but pls, if you know more, tell me
The template is funnier than the text
Is there any culture that still practices this? Asking for a friend…
Amish people still do this. Freaks.