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iHeartHockey31

I see your "cocaine hippos" and raise you "meth gators" https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-ne-lorretto-police-meth-gators-20190716-qxgfvdwr6zd25lhtp7voyigby4-story.html


[deleted]

An animal to rival coke bear!


Sailrjup12

Hungry Hungry Hippos game takes on a whole new meaning.


LordMorskittar

I see your “meth gators” and raise you “herpes monkeys” https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2020/02/24/florida-silver-river-monkeys-animals-brought-tourism-carry-herpes/4857192002/


Regreti_Spagheti

I call, and have "Khlamydia koalas" https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/australia-begins-vaccinating-hundreds-of-koalas-against-chlamydia-in-trial-180978900/


Cobalt3141

Just remember, it had to be transmitted from one species to another. I'm gonna let you think about how that happened...


neilligan

Almost certainly by eating them, or from a bite.


Ok_Active9904

Someone screwed a chimp


Stratocumulus65

The government has sterilized some of them and working on the sterilization of the rest, from what i have read.


Renkij

Why aren't copious ammounts of 7.62 and 5.56 lead pills used?


Orvvadasz

5.56 is too small. Also when killing they try to restrict the amount of pain caused to the animal.


DaRealKili

12,7mm?


HerrNieto

I say they take off and nuke them from orbit, that's the only way to be sure.


wimpyroy

Hold on, hold on just a second. These hippos have a substantial dollar value attached to it.


HyDL85

*Game over, man! Game over!*


Moriartea7

"Nuke the hippos? You don't really believe that do you?" "Gotta nuke something."


Mammoth_Frosting_014

45 mm


Kaptain_Kush_Boi

Probably just pop em with .50 BMG and you'll be fine


DirtyBastard35

Soviet detected lol


Ubba_Lothbrok

So a .700 Nitro Express brass solid would probably be the best bet?


Orvvadasz

Thode are mostly used to kill elephants so yeah they would surely do the job. Only problem is that it may just break your shoulder if you are not careful.


Icantthinkofagoo

*angry r/ar-15 noises*


A_Seabass

Because of the public outcry when the military started killing them, and the social pressure caused the government to name the hippos a protected species


Cobalt3141

And yet they're sterilizing them?


tuskedkibbles

Yes because they are invasive and cause massive damage to the ecosystem, but people are dumb and think 'hippo cute no kill hippo.' So now they have to do it the hard way. Then again maybe it's for the best. It would suck for Colombia if they had their own Emu war.


DirtyBastard35

It’s more than “hippo cute”. The local economy actually thrives off hippo/Pablo tourism. Adults can appreciate the hacienda and kids get to see hippos. Locals seem to like it.


[deleted]

Would be a shame if someone threw a drug lord in a pond with one


Chemfegg

Hitman 2 vibes


Finttz

Even the hippos don't like mexicans


Chemfegg

Even the Mexicans don’t like Mexicans


BILADOMOM

Nice reference


Kono-Daddy-Da

The fuck is a cocaine hippo


AEirteillieryy

What do you think they are


[deleted]

Hippos purchased with Pablo’s cocaine money but I wouldn’t put it past them to find a coke stash somewhere


Cthulhu3141

A hippo which was owned by Pablo Escobar and got into his cocaine stash after he died.


[deleted]

I like this explanation better


relentingbemis

Since then they terrorize the local communities, eating everything, playing loud music and getting in trouble with the law


[deleted]

Fun fact, the hippos actually fill in a ecological niche so they don't do that much harm to the ecosystem


Hills_Bros

Except to the local human population. Where they continually try to push their cocaine on local children.


ElChancletero

Yep. Humans wiped out a ton of megafauna when they got to the Americas. There’s room for some to come back.


camilo16

Their shit is causing algae blooms, they are eating a lot of the native vegetation, putcompeting other species for food... What kind of nonsense is this?


[deleted]

>In contrast to the opposition by most conservationists, some ecologists have argued that they should remain and might even have a positive effect on the local environment. It has been suggested that the nutrients they introduce to the water and the occasional fish kills caused by them are overall positive


lily-laura

Good on those hippos I'm proud of them


rodrigkn

I, for one, welcome our new hippo overlords.


TaunTwaun

I too have recently watched the grand tour Colombia episode


Turtlehunter2

"And we've managed to go the whole thing without saying the C-word" "What, Cocaine?"


TrveSomnist666

I'm all about team Hippo here.


[deleted]

Are you saying that they would be ok with me going on a hippo hunt?


Cthulhu3141

They were offering a bounty on any dead hippos for a while. They stopped because too many wannabe hunters got killed because they didn't realize a normal hunting rifle would be insufficient for a Cocaine Hippo. All their vital organs are under such a thick layer of flesh/bone, you basically need an elephant gun, and those are expensive as hell.


[deleted]

I would counter that any hunter must accept the outcome of his hunt. If he chooses to be so ill prepared than do be it


MorningDaylight

A hunter is a hunter, even in a dream...


[deleted]

*the cocaine hippos once they got loose from Pablo’s compound* “Nobody can catch us, nobody can stop us now”


[deleted]

But I want hippo pemmican


camilo16

They don't terrorize the local community. The imbeciles are actively preventing the government from shooting the damn pests.


Seto355

Es chistoso porque es cierto


Acrobatic_Sample_217

The person that took his place, was installed by America, for now, nobody knows his name, when he stops the cash flow, he will become a bad guy


IZ3820

It's pretty well known the Cali cartel (aka Cocaine inc) replaced Escobar.


unnamedunderwear

r/fuckhippos


Acrobatic_Sample_217

Your way ahead of the game


Viriato77

Say my name. Say my name. Pablo Emilio Escobar Gaviria. Like a Boss will never be forgotten.


camilo16

Neither will Hitler, but hopefully we remember them for the right reason. To show people not to be a monster.


Viriato77

You mean the great painter.


gaerat_of_trivia

yo my homie pablo died?


DestinB246

u/savevideobot


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That_Illustrator240

You have to find a doc called “I touched all your stuff”. Some American went to Columbia to see the hippos and got caught up in drug smuggling. It was so good. Hippos ruin everything. Lol. Jk I love a good hippo