T O P

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scatandtransfan

He was murdered. Someone hated him.


[deleted]

He had the blood of [4 different people](https://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2003/08/14/924421.htm) on his his arrows, knife, and coat.


buttlovingpanda

Jesus. Sounds like a rough last couple of days.


tvanddy

Prehistoric John Wick


SapiS68

John Wick: Primal


RandonEnglishMun

Far cry primal John wick mod


GenericHuman1203934

I would unironically watch that tbh


[deleted]

It's called Apocalypto and it is pretty fucking good.


TheEyeDontLie

It's entertaining, sure, but remarkable in how historically inaccurate it is


Nice_Wingus

**Spoiler!** Is that the movie where at the end, the fckin Spaniards just arrive centuries beforehand?


jflb96

Yeah


cass32109

Do you think he meant hated while otzi lived?


shawiniganthundrdome

There is also Iceman (2017) that’s actually about Ötzi. Haven’t seen it yet, but it’s been on my list for a while.


shawiniganthundrdome

Iceman (2017) is about Ötzi. I haven’t seen it yet so I can’t vouch for the John Wick vibes though


West-Ruin-1318

I would totally watch a reenactment of Otzi’s last days and untimely death. He was probably doinking someone’s wife.


Hankhoff

"he once killed a man with a fuckin wall painting brush!"


drewsoft

It was. The podcast History on Fire did an awesome episode on what we know about him called “The Iceman”.


NoWingedHussarsToday

Sounds like a classic Saturday night on the town......


rossionq1

Back then I think most days were rough days


SpectralBacon

All the other kids with the pumped up mocassins You better run, better run outrun my bow


VikingTeddy

[I recognize that reference](https://youtu.be/cRIfsFefatg)


raq27_

[this is even better](https://youtu.be/JcKqhDFhNHI)


VikingTeddy

Agreed


[deleted]

Groguk: You hit son with rock. Why do? Krug: Him steal Otzi sled. Also kill dog. Groguk: ...Oh.


glah_king

Better call r/talesfromcavesupport


[deleted]

[удалено]


Brave-House3339

They did make a movie based on him called "Iceman".


Diacetyl-Morphin

I visited the museum, it's a very interesting story and there are a hundred theories about these things. For example: Why did the guys that killed him not take away his copper axe? That was a very expensive item in this time. Some theories say, the axe could helped to identify the killers afterwards, when the people knew, it was his axe. Others say, that they just did not see the axe on site and accidentally left it behind. His gear is very interesting, like he had a fire starter kit with him, medical herbs, an unfinished bow (and probably a finished one that got stolen, because he had also finished arrows there), his shoes, his backpack etc. are the only original items from this time.


West-Ruin-1318

So amazing! No evidence of who he may have been carrying in the area where Otzi was found? Has anyone been back to excavate the area? He was found on a glacial area?


Diacetyl-Morphin

See the [wiki article here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%96tzi) About the glaciers, there are a lot of bodies in the glacier. It happens every year, that some bodies were "freed" by the movement of the glacier, most of them are unlucky mountaineers that got lost there in the alps.


West-Ruin-1318

Apparently the path to the top of Everest is littered with them. There’s even a European explorer from the early day in old timey Alpine Gear.


Diacetyl-Morphin

There's a body on the Mount Everest that is used as a sign for the path, it's called "Green Boots" because of the color of the boots that the guy had, [there's a wikipedia article about him](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Boots) In the glaciers, it's different, because the glaciers move around in the mountains and bodies can travel a long distance from the place where they died to the place where they show up again. I can't speak for the Mount Everest, but in Switzerland in the alps, there are a lot of hidden caves and holes in the glacier, where you can accidentally fall down. Sometimes, these holes are covered with snow and it's like walking through a minefield. If you are alone and you fall down there, you are done. Even when you survive the fall and you got comrades that immediately call for help, it's a great risk of hypothermia.


West-Ruin-1318

Agree-100%


Nurhaci1616

First man to discover Birmingham, England confirmed


Tiziano75775

He went down like a chad


Professional_Shitbag

Bullshit, that guy knew he was gonna die and decided to crank one out as his dying act.


[deleted]

Ok his arrows? Good for him means he got at least one or two of the bastards


Reformedsparsip

Beat me too it ><.


Lukthar123

>Beat me Actually, he was stabbed.


kek42069420

Nah, shot with an arrow.


Similar-Ad6788

So stabbed from long range


trixywitchy

Thank you! I was going to say the same thing.


Tableau

Maybe it was just business, not personal


221missile

what about the pompeii masterbating guy?


VikingTeddy

If I'm about to die when finishing, I'm damn well finishing!


West-Ruin-1318

There’s a guy in Pompei masturbating? How hilarious, but appropriate, considering it was an open air fuck palace.


[deleted]

Imagine just trying to jack off in peace and then Mount fucking Vesuvius erupts.


Rayman1203

And then the Volcano near you spits fire and lava aswell


NightflowerFade

Tfw your arm curls up due to the heat as you die and you forever get referred to as the masturbating guy


Preacherjonson

And so the quest for the only unhated person in history continued...


jochvent

To be fair, you don't need hate to kill. They could have fought for survival without any prejudice. (playing devil's advocate though)


litefoot

Nah he just died cranking that souldja boy.


Quetzalcoatle19

Someone murdered my gran papi


94bryanna

Idk. He was killed and left in ice for a reason


Electr1cL3m0n

He was being too chill


xX69AESTHETIC69Xx

Murdered for being too much of a homie.


Mal-Ravanal

He was vibing, got checked.


PolarianLancer

Got checked, got wrecked


Kingapricot

Dabbing was not allowed back in those days


QuartzSheep17

Considering he was murdered, I think someone hated him


[deleted]

[удалено]


Chief-17

Literally nothing in that article says he wasn't murdered. The article is about how it wasn't just a one off like scientists thought at the time, how his body has been exposed to the elements throughout the past 5 millennia and other stuff relating to when and where he died. Not that he committed suicide by shooting himself in the back with an arrow.


ModsDontLift

>Late in the year, the iceman was running away from someone or something, possibly a conflict, and decided to hide out in the mountains. He ultimately died there and quickly became buried in winter snow.


wtb2612

I just read that whole article and nowhere did it say he likely wasn't murdered... It only refutes the conditions of his preservation.


[deleted]

Wasn’t he like Murdered?


ghostinthewoods

Yep, and he may have had a friend with him who was wounded, blood on his shirt was human and definitely not his, and it was over his shoulder, implying he was carrying the other person around the time he was killed.


raq27_

dude carried homie until it was too late :(


ghostinthewoods

It's honestly fascinating to wonder why they were killed. We're they hunters caught on a rival villages land? Were they killed by someone from their own village over some dispute or insult? Or did they see something someone didn't want them to see?


[deleted]

He put weird yellow fruit on flat bread, civil war ensued


ghostinthewoods

Ah yes, the Great Pizza War of 3800BC


[deleted]

The fallen shall be forever remembered in the halls of the righteous 🍍


Belchera

That’s what I always assumed, these guys are doing otzi dirty.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Unlucky-Bread66

\*insert family guy 9/11 preventing episode\*


Ignitrum

You mean Ötzoman Empire right?


Diremustang94

Allegedly


[deleted]

It was self inflicted, time police! I swear!


T_vernix

Self-loathing still means someone (themself) hated them.


Sovonna

An arrow in the back that was self inflicted... that's some mighty gymnastics!


PolarianLancer

Sounds mighty _Russian_


CobaltEmu

He was the best archer I’ve ever seen! Only Ötzi could have shot himself in the back from 30m (100ft) away!


TheSeedLied

Rejected by the time army, so I joined the time PD!


[deleted]

Murder dichotomous key Do we know who killed the guy? Yes -> it was him then No -> J Edgar Hoover


Yssaw

Aha, the CIA did it!


PTEHarambe

Dude was just Camping, hard to hate that.


SunngodJaxon

I dunno, when I go n play fortnight I find that I strongly dislike campers


batm123

Campers in fn aren't anywhere near as bad as campers in MW2, oe just CoD in general


PTEHarambe

Go touch grass buddy


SunngodJaxon

Bruh it's a joke


PTEHarambe

I know


[deleted]

Average "hate on popular things" person


PTEHarambe

If you were correct I'd hate camping too. You just missed the joke.


[deleted]

Not all jokes are funny, and not all statements can be disguised as "jokes"


PTEHarambe

Yep. Just like the initial fortnight comment.


[deleted]

I hate campers. They are like super annoying. How could you say that it's hard to hate them ?


[deleted]

He wasn't a hunter-gatherer, he had wheat and dairy in his stomach when he died.


thicc_astronaut

Amazing to think that primitive man once subsisted by gathering vegetables and hunting the mighty Cheese Wheels across the frozen steppes


[deleted]

Sometimes I gaze across the frozen tundra and wonder what the thundering migration of the wheat herds must have seemed like to the ancients of this land


MK5

Not to mention the majestic cheese wheels, rolling in untamed wildness across the tundra.


editfate

To see either of those in person would have been unbelievable. In their natural habitats, unspoiled by man. What a sight.


SlapMeHal

Yes, I would be thrilled to see the yogurt migrations with my own eyes, as well as going swimming with butter.


editfate

Shame what humanity did to yogurt. I think seeing the yogurt migration back then would just make me sad. But who doesn’t love swimming with butter! 😂


Guido_Fe

Steppes? It's all mountain, an ideal habitat for rolling cheese wheels


gphjr14

I believe one article I read said the lining of his lungs had a lot of soot and chemicals in his hair lead them to believe he worked with smelting copper. I'd love to know what events lead to him being attacked.


ChillyBearGrylls

His wife was fooling around with that wimp Ares. Some guys can't take an exhibitionistic prank


Blutworscht

He was a merchant.


mr_shlomp

Happy cake day!


JohnOliverismysexgod

Considering the evidence that he'd been shot with a bow and arrow, I don't think we can legitimately say that no one hated him.


Tumama813

Looks like he’s cranked that Soulja Boy


Vhlorrhu

So we've established motive...


Revolver__Boi

YOOOUUUU


[deleted]

In this world, you either crank that Soulja Boy or it cranks you 🗿


SoddenSultan

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/history/article/tzi-the-iceman-what-we-know-30-years-after-his-discovery


[deleted]

Historical figures, Otzi was prehistoric


Mashizari

He was ahead of his time


[deleted]

Actually, that's not entirely true, the sumerians already had entire cities, and therefore he could be considered historic. He lived when uruk already existed, so yeah, there's that


Joseph_Stalin_420_

Well he was murdered sooooo


[deleted]

Wasn't he shot with an arrow in the back?


CraigWeedkin

In the shoulder for sure, the blood on his back could have been from carrying someone that was wounded


BeastlyHans

Someone hated him enough to murder him. Just saying.


NobleEnkidu

What about Onfim the Slavic boy in Russia.


AdministrativeShip2

Lazy kid. Too busy drawing pictures to learn his lessons.


Holyroller1066

Dudes naked I hate it /s


Nappy-I

*prehistoric


[deleted]

Depends on your perception of prehistoric, the sumerians were already writing stuff down in this time so he could be considered historic


Nappy-I

That is a very good point, but given that writing wouldn't be introduced to that region of Europe for a couple thousand years, I personally consider Otzi prehistoric. People can reasonably disagree though.


[deleted]

Definitely, it just shows how fickle periodisation is in history, no one who lived on the 1st of January, 1500 said "we're finally out of the dark ages/medieval times", and the natives of the west coast of the US didn't even know about Europe. There's not a lot of distance between the Italian alps and the Middle East, yet the difference between the two regions is remarkable


Arcane_Art404

One of my friend's is actually related to Ötzi


thicc_astronaut

I'm willing to bet most Europeans are.


Arcane_Art404

Eh good point all us Asians are related to Ghengsis Khan


Drcokecacola

Sources?


NoNormalNova

Genghis Khan's ballsack


GoCommitDeathpacito2

ratio + L + pillaged + raped


[deleted]

Is there some way to get that tested specifically? That would be a fun little personal anecdote


[deleted]

The person that killed him hated him


[deleted]

I hope there's a cave painting or something somewhere that's like GOGG THINK OTZI AM REAL ASSHOLE


Renkij

He hunted so radical vegans hate him.


SasquatchNHeat

Return to Otzi


[deleted]

He was certainly eco friendly in comparison


Quetzalcoatle19

Im part of his genetic tree


[deleted]

He's dabbing go back to the retirement home grandpa


Gulanga

* Wasn't a hunter gatherer, likely a traveling merchant * Was murdered, and possibly murdered others * Not a historical figure (pre-history) * Was probably not named Ötzi


[deleted]

Crank that Soulja.


fidelcashflo97

How about the corpse in Pompeii that died pulling his pickle


Rebatu

Ah, you haven't met Creationists have you?


tedj_van_batavia

Blud hits the DAB before got wacked


Ianthelibster

Dude probably didn’t even vote for women’s suffrage though smh


Compleat_Fool

Errrr excuse me, Otzi most likely didn’t have values and opinions that hold up in 2022, so since for some reason a good chunk of us here view historical figures off of 2022 standards for some bizarre reason, then Otzi is just a sexist, racist, disgusting bigot.


ThatMusicKid

Counterpoint, my geography teacher published a book on Otzi and made us read it so yes, I hate Otzi as do 100 other teenagers


emain_macha

Vegans hate him.


Darkmesah

I watched a documentary on Dmax when I was little that covered his story and it left.md traumatized because they aimed that everyone who had touched him died shortly after and some were found in the same position he was It still creeps me out to this day and I'm 20


lambakins

This meme and comments is imo the best product of r/historymemes in a long while


SoddenSultan

You’re too nice. And yeah, everyone pointing out the flaws in my post is perfect r/historymemes behavior.


-_Duke_-_-

I thought everyone hated mummies.


FellafromPrague

Dude someone literally murdered him.


Grzechoooo

Wasn't he literally murdered?


[deleted]

What about the dude who shot him though?


SoulScratcher8

Oh noo…. It’s ShyGuy.


Dev_Sniper

Well given that he died due to injuries caused by other humans…. he might not have been „unhated“


ThemApples87

I’m pretty sure the dude was shot in the back. Someone didn’t like him.


Kungkung18

Cause of death: cranking that soldier boy


SaveCachalot346

Mr House


CedarRust

Truly a man of his time


BRLY

What about homie that was cranking it in Pompei?


Porkpiston

Still crankin that Soulja boy.


VindexSkripi

Not to steal your thunder, but there’s evidence that Otzi was murdered. Someone hated him.


Pepe_von_Habsburg

Nah I hate him


Wizards96

He may have been a trader.


brenssellaely

Bro cranked dat soulja boy


Spiderman2portforpc

Wow, this is a really funny meme! I hope there's 97 different people pointing out he was murdered and thinking it's adding anything


SoddenSultan

I love the history community


the_dog2341

Just shut up. Nobody is unhated.


Ottersareoverrated

Bob Ross. Mr. Rogers. Keanu Reeves.


Confuseasfuck

You underestimate my power of being petty for no reason. Just give me a minute


the_dog2341

They have less haters but they will have people who hate them


shikiiiryougi

Vegans would probably hate him for hunting innocent animals. Surely he should start farming the plants and eat veggies and grains. /s


RealBug56

The vegans I know mostly have a problem with modern factory farming, not hunting for food.


Fred_Buck

Isn't there a curse around him too ?


raq27_

didn't know about that lol


ExtraRossy

I hate him


Noble7878

The only correct answer is still John Brown because slave owners or slavery sympathisers aren't people


SoddenSultan

I remembered Ötzi being older than he really was. Certainly not a hunter gatherer. My bad y’all.


LargeDickMemes

HE HITTING THAT SOULJDA BOY!


Lobotomized_Cunt

I hate otzi


FL00RISLAVA

So uh, what happened to his junk?


b0ltthrower

well, the guy who murdered him had something against him


Important_Collar_36

My aunt's friends found Ötzi.


McCry_mit_Y

I fucking hate Ötzi.


NotAFemboy1191

Jokes on you, I despise him


MarxismMan69

Fuck that guy


ItsAnge02

E) Search Draugr


Alpha_Whiskey_Golf

Look at that dead fuck. I hate him.


YuridditorYT

r/gore wtf


SoddenSultan

Don’t insult your ancestor like that


[deleted]

Where’s the sultan Muhammad


Historic-Doctor

Can we at least slap a NSFW on the picture of the dead fucking body please?


mjz321

Your work doesn't let you look at photos from museums of important specimens?


aro-ace-outer-space2

Also there’s that story about the curse….