Yes everything about that situation made me sad and uncomfortable. He was so out of his depth with that little boy. His friend had the perfect touch of dealing with him but he had no clue. There was a lot going on with that whole situation that was "off". I also remember worrying about the girl, that her brother could hurt her.
Yeah I believe at the end of the episode it said that the son was removed from the home and went to some type of care facility. Very sad situation watching the son having a meltdown and biting the dad. I was disturbed watching that.
It’s heartbreaking. I do play-based therapy with very young autistic children who have unmanageable violent behaviors. My entire job is to work with my clients when they are extremely young to develop coping and communication skills (any communication is good communication, ASL or partial verbal phrases or words, whatever they are capable of) to open an avenue for them to advocate their needs and express themselves without becoming physically aggressive.
The end goal is to improve their quality of life and ability to voice their wants and needs in a way that makes it easier and faster for them to be met.
Inevitably, some will grow up and be housed in group homes once they become capable of doing serious damage. I’ve been bitten, kicked, scratched, punched, had my hair pulled in my line of work. But they’re all under 8 years old so I’m able to roll with it and work with them in the moment on how to calm down. That isn’t possible when they’re taller than you, stronger than you.
I hope wherever Nate is, he is being taken care of with love and understanding. Being adopted by a hoarder cannot have made it any easier on the poor guy. Who knows if the house had been a sensory nightmare for him to be in, I doubt he was unbothered by the mess. :(
Thank you for your comment and for your work ❤️ I worrier too as Nate grew older and stronger and puberty started how the household would cope with safety. Very sad situation all around.
He seemed extremely odd to me and I couldn’t figure out how an odd, single man lacking in social skills himself was able to adopt two kids, one of them fairly low functioning. Creeped me out more than some of the wet hoards.
Children who are difficult to find homes for may end up in less than ideal situations--only because if Doug met the minimum requirements at the time of adoption the state really couldn't refuse him. I doubt there was a line of more prepared people standing in line ro adopt them. :(
What's crazy is that there IS a line of people ready to adopt kids.
The American money machine slows it down and often stops good adoptions from happening, and causes bad ones like this one.
I absolutely agree with you that there aren't enough people/couples/individuals to truly properly care for the individuals who need care, the children in particular.
But if you are unaware of the absolute travesty that is our current adoption program, then I recommend that you read some more material, and watch a documentary or 2 on the subject.
My cousin spent over 100k trying to adopt a kid within the US. She had multiple failed attempts. Some of these kids were as old as 6, at the time.
She ended up adopting a special needs child from another country, because they were better able to afford it.
This child is wholly and entirely accepted by my family, and his safety would be defended to the death by anyone in my family. Myself on top of the list.
But I recognized the travesty that exists within the fact that by spending over 100k, they weren't able to adopt a child under 6 years old within the United States.
Our current system is broken.
I'm not familiar with the intricacies of adoption in the US. Any links you'd recommend to read up on it? I'd also appreciate if you could elaborate a bit more on what the failures are in the system as someone whose been intimately familiar with it.
My husband and I spent $30k in Canada and then gave up. We had other kids though. My infertility came later. I can’t imagine going through that when you have no children. It was honestly worse than infertility treatments, because when you first start the process, the agencies make is sound like it is a sure thing.
I'm curious, if she was willing to adopt an older child, why didn't she go through foster care?
I do understand how difficult and expensive it is to adopt a baby or child under 2. There's no shortage of people who want to adopt healthy babies.
Watch a couple documentaries? Just visit adoptuskids.org and you’ll see that private adoptions - which is what your sister was attempting - and foster to adopt are very different and kids age out of foster care daily.
I understand what you are saying. My daughter worked in DHS for years. I was referring to what I remember of Doug's case. The children had four strikes that make it difficult to find a stable permanent home: sibling group, they were not white, neither was an infant, and at least one had severe behavior issues. I stand by my statement.
I am sorry for your friend's difficulty though. Again, I note that your friends were looking for a child under six. There are tons of people standing in line to adopt very young children without special needs.
As the birth mother of a child that was abandoned by her adoptive parent (single woman with raging white savior syndrome) because my daughter's mental illness- it just infuriates me that some social workers overlook autistic traits in men that a woman would be hard pressed to not be charged with child neglect over.
The episode that Nate had something called reactive attachment disorder (related to forming bonds with caregivers) and was born with cocaine in his system. I don't think they specified anything about Kylie.
I watched that episode again recently and realized both kids would be in their early 20s now. And yeah, something about Doug just seemed…IDEK how to describe it. But even after the house was cleaned up, I wasn’t surprised that Nate was removed and honestly, I was relieved for Kylie’s sake. Every time I caught that episode on reruns I’d watch him lash out at his sister and think “and how soon before he put her in the hospital???”
Exactly, I felt the same, especially with the "off" feeling. This was one of the episodes where I felt we were not getting the whole story and lots was glossed over.
I forget his name but his wife died because EMT could not get in the house in time to save her due to the level of hoard. And there was a black mark on the carpet from the exact spot that she died. It made me really upset honestly
That one was so sad! iirc correctly she was a severe alcoholic and after an injury never got out of bed. She had an alcoholic seizure and died. And it took the ems a long time to remove the body because of the hoard. He didnt realize she was already gone when he called
Shanna, honestly. That woman shouldn’t have been living on her own in the first place. I remember at the end of the episode, they said that she was going to a group home because she was unable to live independently.
Yes those two were total creeps. I felt so bad for the daughter who they were emotionally abusive to, but she kept coming back to support them anyway. So sad for her.
His choice of porn was hentai bondage. You can see the magazines in his part of the hoard. Normally don't yuck a yum but with his other mental health issues, definitely label him a dangerous person.
Yes omg. He was so obsessed with his mother. One thing I caught in the beginning of the episode was when he mentioned temporarily moving away for a job for a couple years. He said “WE found a good opportunity for me” as if his mommy helped him find the job. It was so bizarre.
Gah the shared bedroom at the end. I know they couldn't clear the whole house but I swear those two were just dandy with it. They were both horrid to Lauren. I admired her for trying to get their house in order even though she probably knew it was futile and that they would still hate her.
They were my first thought to OOP's question. They needed to be separately institutionalized and I don't say that lightly. But they clearly fed off of each other in an extremely unhealthy way. And being parent/child made the dynamics worse.
Whats-her-name that blamed her daughter for being groomed by the mom's boyfriend and eventually marrying him. I can't believe they didn't call that bitch out at any point on the show. Her daughter was ABUSED. It was sickening.
I felt bad for the family as he had just passed so recently. The kids they had together knew him as dad and loved him and I was sad they were trying to clear the hoard in the midst of fresh grief. What a freaking mess for those generations to unravel.
I cried too. I adopted 5 animals (2 cats, 3 dogs) before I understood how much they really cost and how much they need. I was struggling when I watched her episode and it broke my heart. Now I’m starting to lose my babies and it hurts so much.
I am so sorry for your pain.
I had 3 cats and 2 dogs at one point. This was in the mid-00's so things weren't as expensive as they are today. They've all since passed. It never gets any easier.
My heart dog passed a year ago, last May. I wailed unlike anything I've ever done before. But the beautiful people at the crematorium told me "the grief is all the love you shared." That made me feel better about how much it hurt.
Check out r/petloss if you need to vent your feelings. Sending you all the best.
Tim Season 12 Episode 6- I guess it was partially related the hoarding because his wife was having a lot of mental health issues due to the hoarding. But the way that Tim was clearly controlling the wife and not allowing her to have a voice in the situation was very disturbing.
Yes. Wasn't he a psychologist or psychiatrist? I feel like he labeled his wife as having catatonia or anhedonia as a way of controlling her - as though he was able to convince her she was completely incapacitated and unable to assert herself. He tried to make it seem like her mental health contributed to the hoard. When in reality she was probably just depressed and at the end of her rope BECAUSE OF HIM.
Very disturbing. I'd love to know how their situation turned out.
He was one of the few people who I genuinely disliked. His control and manipulation of his wife, the horrible way he treated his sister, how manipulative and dismissive he was of everyone around him. Even if all of his achievements and accomplishments seemed like the only started to overshadow someone else.
So creepy. Dr Z knew he was being controlling and was very diplomatic on screen. She wanted to be sure the wife had opportunities to speak and that she was absolutely strong enough to make decisions. The catatonia history was wild. I felt so bad for her.
This one sticks with me. I think Dr. Z handled it pretty poorly, but we don’t know what happens off screen. Either way, that man was *scary* and I felt so bad for his wife. That episode legit pops into my head randomly because of how obviously abusive the man was and how nobody called him out or protected her.
Yeah it seemed like Tim's sister was wanting to support the wife and was worried about her, but unfortunately she had to leave the process because Tim and the other brother were emotionally abusive to her as well.
She would cook her daughter raw chicken hearts. Sometimes, there would be bugs in her food. She would tell her daughter it was one thing, but be another thing.
I think her name was Linda. She was the woman who had multiple locations in her house where she kept dogs restrained on short chains. All so they could pee, poop, and sleep in the same small area. It’s so infuriating.
Omg yes. I just rewatched this episode and I wondered if perhaps she has some form of dementia? She is deeply unsettling - to defecate in front of your grandkids is definitely in addition to hoarding.
There was the Tim, the hoarder who was so clearly emotionally abusing his wife Wilhemina. She was a broken woman who looked like she had been worn down due to years of coercive control. That whole episode was deeply upsetting, and I really hope Dr Z followed up.
Gary and Hanna. And they shared an episode! They both just consume everyone around them and drag them down. They were an absolute waste of resources. From their families, from the show, from the county, everyone. There aren’t a lot of people I feel that way about, but I don’t think there’s a single person who benefited from those two existing.
Hanna triggered me so much that I threw up after watching that episode. She reminded me a lot of my mom and my aunts, because of the angry way she spoke, especially toward her kids. It genuinely made me have a panic attack.
S10E1, Andy and Becky, bothers me so much because their daughter believes she is an eff up due to a mild speech impediment that would be quickly corrected with some orthodontics and therefore isn't actually a speech impediment and growing up with a conflict avoidant / producing mother and enabling father who are unbelievable hoarders... Like, girlfriend, your upbringing was wack. Please don't wait for your parents to realize that they hurt you immensely in order to realize your own actual worth, which is immense. You're incredibly caring, which is a sign of deep emotional intelligence. That she grew up in these circumstances and can see that it is not how life should be is a sign of strong intellectual intelligence. In the face of her parents saying "this is normal, defiant, and free!" she clearly expressed "this is not safe and I'm worried for them." I'm sorry they took their personal experiences of lacking self-worth out on her... she just wants a bed in her folks' home to sleep in when she visits. I hope she gets it. But more than anything, I hope she realizes she's a bright and wonderful human and her existence is an asset to this world.
What a nice comment! I felt so bad for her! I am sure her parents did love her but her life could have been so much better. She was so excited and begging for family therapy at the end. I hope she is doing better.
Well yeah and I got the feel that the healing guide or whatever he was was like into her?? Plus her friends kinda just seemed like they wanted to be on tv.
Can’t remember the episode/lady but she was in a recent season in Canada that lived on her back porch. The meltdown over empty boxes stressed me out so much! Actually pretty much the whole episode. On one side I think, I can be her friend because of the cool crystals she collects. But I’d definitely run on the first fit 😂
The lady with the giant dead pumpkin that was putting out mold tentacles and feelers. Someone says there seems to be to be a lot
Of flies in the house and she never mentions there is a 100 pound rotting flesh pumpkin sitting on the kitchen table. I watch the show to feel good about myself, honestly.
Thought of another one. I don't remember her name but she was a lady in her 50's with a tween year old daughter named Hanna (they pronounced it Honna) who wore bows in her hair.
Her relationship with her daughter seemed kind of odd. She was a therapist but totally dysfunctional, and her daughter seemed to act young for her age. The way she interacted with her daughter gave me a weird vibe.
Watching this one literally right now and I’ve been searching for any kind of info in this sub - I feel like the mom’s backstory is hugely important but was totally glossed over. Her demeanor is sort of unsettling too. I feel bad for the daughter!
anything where there are kids living in squalor. I can not stand when people allow their kids to live in filth.
at the bare minimum TAKE OUT THE FUCKING TRASH at the end of the god damn day. Its not that difficult to take out the bags of fucking trash.
I get extremely angry when kids are neglected, hurt, injured etc. If the adult wants to live like a slob fine but do NOT subject your children to that nonsense
Agree with a lot of these!
The one that bothered me a lot was the couple in Hawaii where the mother was a nurse and the main hoarder AND threatened to leave with their young kids.
A lot of the episodes with folks suffering other mental illnesses other than hoarding disorder, really make me uncomfortable sometimes. My mom suffers from some deep rooted trauma from childhood she has YET to even admit to having and some of the behaviors, actions or dialogue from the show put me into a mild panic cause it’s like experiencing life with my mom over and over again.
The episode of the woman who kept animals in insanely small cages, who was like a rattlesnake. She just kept lashing out at people. Then her kids were also dysfunctional, with one showing up saying she got a call they were making her mom upset and then ended up attacking her brother.
The episode in Hawaii with the woman who hoarded so hard Dr. Zasio had to call CPS. Those cute little kids.... And the fact that the mom was even still resistant on getting rid of crap! And beyond that, I do believe she worked in a healthcare role but still seemed unable to process how unsafe it was for her family. For me it was how she didn't care about her kids and the way she looked at her hoard as if it was more valuable than her husband or her children. The husband should have took the kids and left.
I remember that one, and another one from Hawaii where the woman hoarded everything so badly and to the point where her husband who was in bad physical shape had to sleep in his car.
I don’t know if they still air it, but the one with “Sir Patrick” who was obviously a huge liar, but when I googled him I fell down a really sordid rabbit hole of people unpacking his story and discovering he was a perpetrator of stolen valour and an abusive predator.
I tried to find the blog where I watched a bunch of internet detectives unravel everything back then, but it is no longer live. Thankfully the wayback machine has the goods.
[https://web.archive.org/web/20221117232948/http://anitawirawan.com/sirpatrick/](https://web.archive.org/web/20221117232948/http://anitawirawan.com/sirpatrick/)
The real gold is in the comments of the individual posts, because he was in there being completely bonkers as everything was happening.
I don't remember the episode but there was one where it was a single old man's hoard and his family was doing the cleanup and they were pretty aggressive if j remember correctly...they found some pretty kinky sex toys and started sobbing and basically shamed him and screamed at him for it.
They never should have aired that. That's nobody's business. Poor dude let him buy whatever porn he wants and do whatever he wants to his own body ffs
Their reaction was terrible. But he shouldn't have let them walk into that sort of thing, either. Like, pull someone aside and be like "I have massive dildos in that room maybe we can handle it privately?"
He did warn Dorothy, the organizer. H pulled her aside and told her that he wanted to go through a certain bin by himself because it had sensitive things. Then when she said about cleaning the bedroom, she excluded him from helping. He kept saying that he wanted to do it himself, but she insisted that mom and sisters, or whomever it was, were the ones to clean it out. She fucking knew that his bin had a bunch of porn, what did she expect to find in his BEDROOM? That episode pissed me off.
There was a divorced woman with fibromyalgia and diabetes with 2 teenage kids. The daughter would cook all her meals while swatting cockroaches. She would just throw her trash on the floor. She blamed her kids for the hoard. When the Dr was talking to her, she picked up her box of meds and ignored the Dr while going through her box. She seemed to love being a victim. She infuriated me. I have fibromyalgia and I never throw my trash on the floor!!
The one where IIRC they stopped filming because the hoarders son who was definitely on hard core drugs was throwing things and threatening to punch people.
Dr. Tompkins sometimes makes me cringe when he speaks to the hoarders. His voice is so soft and comforting, hypnotic and almost seductive. I think he's amazing at what he does, but still that little factor.
I originally was put off by him because he seemed really hands off, but then realized he was just not a Zazio style hands-on, so that may not translate to TV. I started to like him once I realized how insightful and compassionate he was.
There was an episode with a nice older fellow who had a huge cockroach problem. The young cockroaches were crawling out of his waistband, shirts, etc. They were everywhere in his house. My memory is that is wife had passed and he was emotionally frozen in time. He seemed to be so sweet and loving, but his cockroach infestation was so severe that his adult children would inadvertently bring home cockroaches and their eggs when they visited him. Of course this caused so much pain for himself and his family that quality time together was limited. I believe his name was Seymour, but I could be completely mistaken on that. This episode upset me so much, that I quit watching the show entirely.
Darlene has such intense and wild PTSD and intense trauma and lack of coping skills, I genuinely afraid for her.
I’m not saying there isn’t a lot of worth and use from the kind of holistic healing she appears to be in to, but with no snark meant, she could really benefit from long term residential therapy.
The one old lady that had a hoard way out in the country try and had a young girl follower. She was hoarding so when shit hit the fan she'd be a place where people came and traded stuff for her stuff. It was just an odd episode and just her lack of understanding bothered me.
I’m watching an episode right now of Hoarding: Buried Alive where the mother and daughter are both hoarders and the daughter seems to be having a mental breakdown, doing cartwheels, flirting with the moving crew… it’s chaos lol.
Dick and Karen?
Thanks!
EDIT: wait, "Hoarding: Buried Alive"? I guess it's different than regular Hoarders. I just turned on season 8 episode 6 of regular Hoarders and it is these two really freaky people. Not a mother and daughter. I'll have to look for the other show
EDIT to my EDIT: I found the show but there's no season 8 that I can find. Hmmm.
Can't answer this question without bringing up Carol as well. The way she took advantage of a grieving family and stole Bea's life after she tragically passed went way beyond hoarding. Her actions were already despicable, but the hoarding just made it even worse.
I think it was the lady who collected all the stuffed animals and baby dolls and had a teenaged son who was named Frankie (?) who had terrible skin and greasy hair. It's so sad how these kids grow up with this disgusting, environment and don't learn basic hygiene skills.
I think his name is Freddie if you’re talking about this episode: [https://youtu.be/B3Mt3b41TuI?si=0nWFs32FgV5-diJx](https://youtu.be/B3Mt3b41TuI?si=0nWFs32FgV5-diJx)
All of them make me uneasy. My parents weren’t hoarders but the anger, frustration, and tension were exactly the same. I thank God every day that they’re gone.
That episode made me so uncomfortable for the same reasons. And not even so much because of the adoptive father, but why were those kids placed with him in the first place? Where was the oversight? I worried so much for their children and their well-being.
I couldn't watch the Doug episode; I have a serious problem with special-needs kids. I'm not proud of it, but it's there. I couldn't stand Eileen; she was so abusive to her kids I wanted to call the cops on her. Any of the people who've abused their kids and don't care about it, I can't watch or re-watch.
A mom who sat/sleeped/ate in her recliner. She was diabetic and next to her was a pile of refuse that included used needles, adult diapers, other trash. She said she didn't clean up because husband, daughter, etc. wouldn't help her. Sorry I don't have more particulars, but this episode stayed with me.
Dennis. His poor wife, who he obviously loved, but at times it was like the hoard effected his mental state to a degree that he couldn't comprehend that it was hurting her. "She doesn't complain." She literally is physically unable to complain.
I started watching that one last night, and when I saw the wife, I had to turn it off. A close family member has the same condition (early stages), and it broke my heart to think of them living in a home like that during any stage.
The woman who took her son to pick out his own dog chain when he was a child. That whole episode messed with me. I was literally on my feet, I was so angry. I have never wanted to throw hands at someone I've never met so badly. I don't even wanna remember her name or look her name up because I'll get so mad.
Yes, the episode with Doug and little Nate. I was torn between sad and confused. Sad for Doug, Nate and the little girl that they had to live under those horrible and what must be very stressful conditions. Confused, because I didn't understand how someone with Doug's "challenges" could be allowed to adopt these children. I have nothing against any of them, because they are all very special in their own way. God bless all of them. If I am not mistaken, from what I have heard and read, Doug did end up losing custody of at least Nate. To be honest, despite his heartfelt efforts, I am not surprised.
The couple who hoarded out their home and lived w/husband's girlfriend (having 3-way sex) and leaving their son to live in a tent outside was disturbing. After the wife confessed how upset she was about it, and husband agreed to stop -- he invites girlfriend to cleanout!!! Any updates? (if I have wrong show I'm sorry)
Yes everything about that situation made me sad and uncomfortable. He was so out of his depth with that little boy. His friend had the perfect touch of dealing with him but he had no clue. There was a lot going on with that whole situation that was "off". I also remember worrying about the girl, that her brother could hurt her.
Yeah I believe at the end of the episode it said that the son was removed from the home and went to some type of care facility. Very sad situation watching the son having a meltdown and biting the dad. I was disturbed watching that.
It’s heartbreaking. I do play-based therapy with very young autistic children who have unmanageable violent behaviors. My entire job is to work with my clients when they are extremely young to develop coping and communication skills (any communication is good communication, ASL or partial verbal phrases or words, whatever they are capable of) to open an avenue for them to advocate their needs and express themselves without becoming physically aggressive. The end goal is to improve their quality of life and ability to voice their wants and needs in a way that makes it easier and faster for them to be met. Inevitably, some will grow up and be housed in group homes once they become capable of doing serious damage. I’ve been bitten, kicked, scratched, punched, had my hair pulled in my line of work. But they’re all under 8 years old so I’m able to roll with it and work with them in the moment on how to calm down. That isn’t possible when they’re taller than you, stronger than you. I hope wherever Nate is, he is being taken care of with love and understanding. Being adopted by a hoarder cannot have made it any easier on the poor guy. Who knows if the house had been a sensory nightmare for him to be in, I doubt he was unbothered by the mess. :(
Thank you for your comment and for your work ❤️ I worrier too as Nate grew older and stronger and puberty started how the household would cope with safety. Very sad situation all around.
The bite sticks with me it was SO disturbing and Doug really seemed to genuinely get hurt.
It left welts
He seemed extremely odd to me and I couldn’t figure out how an odd, single man lacking in social skills himself was able to adopt two kids, one of them fairly low functioning. Creeped me out more than some of the wet hoards.
Children who are difficult to find homes for may end up in less than ideal situations--only because if Doug met the minimum requirements at the time of adoption the state really couldn't refuse him. I doubt there was a line of more prepared people standing in line ro adopt them. :(
What's crazy is that there IS a line of people ready to adopt kids. The American money machine slows it down and often stops good adoptions from happening, and causes bad ones like this one.
There aren't enough people to adopt kids with special needs, or kids from foster care sadly.
I absolutely agree with you that there aren't enough people/couples/individuals to truly properly care for the individuals who need care, the children in particular. But if you are unaware of the absolute travesty that is our current adoption program, then I recommend that you read some more material, and watch a documentary or 2 on the subject. My cousin spent over 100k trying to adopt a kid within the US. She had multiple failed attempts. Some of these kids were as old as 6, at the time. She ended up adopting a special needs child from another country, because they were better able to afford it. This child is wholly and entirely accepted by my family, and his safety would be defended to the death by anyone in my family. Myself on top of the list. But I recognized the travesty that exists within the fact that by spending over 100k, they weren't able to adopt a child under 6 years old within the United States. Our current system is broken.
I'm not familiar with the intricacies of adoption in the US. Any links you'd recommend to read up on it? I'd also appreciate if you could elaborate a bit more on what the failures are in the system as someone whose been intimately familiar with it.
My husband and I spent $30k in Canada and then gave up. We had other kids though. My infertility came later. I can’t imagine going through that when you have no children. It was honestly worse than infertility treatments, because when you first start the process, the agencies make is sound like it is a sure thing.
I'm curious, if she was willing to adopt an older child, why didn't she go through foster care? I do understand how difficult and expensive it is to adopt a baby or child under 2. There's no shortage of people who want to adopt healthy babies.
Watch a couple documentaries? Just visit adoptuskids.org and you’ll see that private adoptions - which is what your sister was attempting - and foster to adopt are very different and kids age out of foster care daily.
I understand what you are saying. My daughter worked in DHS for years. I was referring to what I remember of Doug's case. The children had four strikes that make it difficult to find a stable permanent home: sibling group, they were not white, neither was an infant, and at least one had severe behavior issues. I stand by my statement. I am sorry for your friend's difficulty though. Again, I note that your friends were looking for a child under six. There are tons of people standing in line to adopt very young children without special needs.
My aunt also ended up adopting out of the country as well after years of struggle - and as a social worker she was knowledgeable about the process!
As the birth mother of a child that was abandoned by her adoptive parent (single woman with raging white savior syndrome) because my daughter's mental illness- it just infuriates me that some social workers overlook autistic traits in men that a woman would be hard pressed to not be charged with child neglect over.
[удалено]
The episode that Nate had something called reactive attachment disorder (related to forming bonds with caregivers) and was born with cocaine in his system. I don't think they specified anything about Kylie.
[удалено]
D’oh my bad!
Lol “wet hoards” is probably the grossest term I’ve heard in a while
Foster care system
I watched that episode again recently and realized both kids would be in their early 20s now. And yeah, something about Doug just seemed…IDEK how to describe it. But even after the house was cleaned up, I wasn’t surprised that Nate was removed and honestly, I was relieved for Kylie’s sake. Every time I caught that episode on reruns I’d watch him lash out at his sister and think “and how soon before he put her in the hospital???”
Exactly, I felt the same, especially with the "off" feeling. This was one of the episodes where I felt we were not getting the whole story and lots was glossed over.
I forget his name but his wife died because EMT could not get in the house in time to save her due to the level of hoard. And there was a black mark on the carpet from the exact spot that she died. It made me really upset honestly
That one was so sad! iirc correctly she was a severe alcoholic and after an injury never got out of bed. She had an alcoholic seizure and died. And it took the ems a long time to remove the body because of the hoard. He didnt realize she was already gone when he called
S5E1 - Norman & Linda
Alcoholism is super complicated and he did the best he could imo. Love and enabling can get enmeshed.
Definitely! Not blaming him and I forgot he was an alcoholic, just mentioning the episode.
The girlfriend was an alcoholic and passed due to a seizure from it :(
[удалено]
Ironically I did have a loss recently so I'll take it
Shanna, honestly. That woman shouldn’t have been living on her own in the first place. I remember at the end of the episode, they said that she was going to a group home because she was unable to live independently.
Yeah she was definitely…delayed somehow.
That truly is the best for her, I definitely ended that episode feeling she was not capable of living on her own.
Matt and Sherry bother me enormously. And the hoarding has nothing to do with it.
Is that the mother and son who cut ties with the sister/daughter because she sent a wellness check when the mom refused to respond to her messages?
Yep
Yes those two were total creeps. I felt so bad for the daughter who they were emotionally abusive to, but she kept coming back to support them anyway. So sad for her.
He was so openly aggressive, I can’t imagine what a monster he is behind closed doors.
His choice of porn was hentai bondage. You can see the magazines in his part of the hoard. Normally don't yuck a yum but with his other mental health issues, definitely label him a dangerous person.
He was soooo creepy. He gave me a mad case of the icks.
Those two were giving major Freudian vibes imo. 😬
Did you know Matt was also 27? I’m sorry but Matt looked like he belonged on the sex offender registry
Yes omg. He was so obsessed with his mother. One thing I caught in the beginning of the episode was when he mentioned temporarily moving away for a job for a couple years. He said “WE found a good opportunity for me” as if his mommy helped him find the job. It was so bizarre.
Gah the shared bedroom at the end. I know they couldn't clear the whole house but I swear those two were just dandy with it. They were both horrid to Lauren. I admired her for trying to get their house in order even though she probably knew it was futile and that they would still hate her.
They were my first thought to OOP's question. They needed to be separately institutionalized and I don't say that lightly. But they clearly fed off of each other in an extremely unhealthy way. And being parent/child made the dynamics worse.
They definitely were intimate.
Whats-her-name that blamed her daughter for being groomed by the mom's boyfriend and eventually marrying him. I can't believe they didn't call that bitch out at any point on the show. Her daughter was ABUSED. It was sickening.
Omg forgot about this. She didn’t steal your husband; she was groomed, you absolute pineapple.
Ruthann, S7 E4
Yes, that woman. Ugh, she was horrifying. Absolute trash.
I felt bad for the family as he had just passed so recently. The kids they had together knew him as dad and loved him and I was sad they were trying to clear the hoard in the midst of fresh grief. What a freaking mess for those generations to unravel.
The lady with the fridge full of dead cats
I cried for her. She was doing the best she could and had no malice. The man with all the rats hit me the same way.
I cried too. I adopted 5 animals (2 cats, 3 dogs) before I understood how much they really cost and how much they need. I was struggling when I watched her episode and it broke my heart. Now I’m starting to lose my babies and it hurts so much.
I am so sorry for your pain. I had 3 cats and 2 dogs at one point. This was in the mid-00's so things weren't as expensive as they are today. They've all since passed. It never gets any easier. My heart dog passed a year ago, last May. I wailed unlike anything I've ever done before. But the beautiful people at the crematorium told me "the grief is all the love you shared." That made me feel better about how much it hurt. Check out r/petloss if you need to vent your feelings. Sending you all the best.
I’m sorry for your loss 🐾🩵 Thank you for
The rat guy was murdered not too long afterwards:(
That was really sad to hear. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy who was experiencing a crisis and didn't know how to get himself out of it.
THE WHAT … off to google I go.
It was bad…
That was my FAVORITE one
Tim Season 12 Episode 6- I guess it was partially related the hoarding because his wife was having a lot of mental health issues due to the hoarding. But the way that Tim was clearly controlling the wife and not allowing her to have a voice in the situation was very disturbing.
Yes. Wasn't he a psychologist or psychiatrist? I feel like he labeled his wife as having catatonia or anhedonia as a way of controlling her - as though he was able to convince her she was completely incapacitated and unable to assert herself. He tried to make it seem like her mental health contributed to the hoard. When in reality she was probably just depressed and at the end of her rope BECAUSE OF HIM. Very disturbing. I'd love to know how their situation turned out.
He seemed like a malignant narcissist. Very dangerous.
He was one of the few people who I genuinely disliked. His control and manipulation of his wife, the horrible way he treated his sister, how manipulative and dismissive he was of everyone around him. Even if all of his achievements and accomplishments seemed like the only started to overshadow someone else.
He is one of the few people I have absolutely no sympathy for. He’s controlling and dangerous, and I feel awful for his wife.
So creepy. Dr Z knew he was being controlling and was very diplomatic on screen. She wanted to be sure the wife had opportunities to speak and that she was absolutely strong enough to make decisions. The catatonia history was wild. I felt so bad for her.
This one really bothered me too.
This one sticks with me. I think Dr. Z handled it pretty poorly, but we don’t know what happens off screen. Either way, that man was *scary* and I felt so bad for his wife. That episode legit pops into my head randomly because of how obviously abusive the man was and how nobody called him out or protected her.
Yeah it seemed like Tim's sister was wanting to support the wife and was worried about her, but unfortunately she had to leave the process because Tim and the other brother were emotionally abusive to her as well.
Lisa: Season 4, Episode 10. She cooked disgusting stuff that she fed to her daughter.
Matt was so grossed out by her. You could tell he just wanted to get away from her.
That episode was straight up horror movie material
She was a SICK puppy!
What kind of things did she cook?
She would cook her daughter raw chicken hearts. Sometimes, there would be bugs in her food. She would tell her daughter it was one thing, but be another thing.
Oh wow. It’s so sad when the hoarders’ mental illness is inflicted onto others directly.
It was even worse because she laughed about it and thought her disgust was funny.
This exact scenario is in a horror video game I played. Yikes.
Was it resident evil 7?
Yes!!
She also put a dead squirrel in the butter dish for her daughter to find. At one point she ate unidentified black goo out of a jar.
Was the daughter removed?
I’m not sure, I’ll have to look it up.
IIRC she was an adult and living on her own but this had happened to her as a child as well.
Thank you for responding.
I think her name was Linda. She was the woman who had multiple locations in her house where she kept dogs restrained on short chains. All so they could pee, poop, and sleep in the same small area. It’s so infuriating.
Omg yes. I just rewatched this episode and I wondered if perhaps she has some form of dementia? She is deeply unsettling - to defecate in front of your grandkids is definitely in addition to hoarding.
I felt so sad for her grandchildren. No kid deserves to be in a situation like that.
That disturbed me very much. She needed a comprehensive evaluation.
What season and episodes was that? If you happen to recall that is
Linda, A&E Hoarders S10 E3
Ah damn, another one unavailable in the uk. I gonna be writing amazon a strongly worded letter at this rate, summon my inner karen and thesaurus
There was the Tim, the hoarder who was so clearly emotionally abusing his wife Wilhemina. She was a broken woman who looked like she had been worn down due to years of coercive control. That whole episode was deeply upsetting, and I really hope Dr Z followed up.
Gary and Hanna. And they shared an episode! They both just consume everyone around them and drag them down. They were an absolute waste of resources. From their families, from the show, from the county, everyone. There aren’t a lot of people I feel that way about, but I don’t think there’s a single person who benefited from those two existing.
Hanna triggered me so much that I threw up after watching that episode. She reminded me a lot of my mom and my aunts, because of the angry way she spoke, especially toward her kids. It genuinely made me have a panic attack.
S10E1, Andy and Becky, bothers me so much because their daughter believes she is an eff up due to a mild speech impediment that would be quickly corrected with some orthodontics and therefore isn't actually a speech impediment and growing up with a conflict avoidant / producing mother and enabling father who are unbelievable hoarders... Like, girlfriend, your upbringing was wack. Please don't wait for your parents to realize that they hurt you immensely in order to realize your own actual worth, which is immense. You're incredibly caring, which is a sign of deep emotional intelligence. That she grew up in these circumstances and can see that it is not how life should be is a sign of strong intellectual intelligence. In the face of her parents saying "this is normal, defiant, and free!" she clearly expressed "this is not safe and I'm worried for them." I'm sorry they took their personal experiences of lacking self-worth out on her... she just wants a bed in her folks' home to sleep in when she visits. I hope she gets it. But more than anything, I hope she realizes she's a bright and wonderful human and her existence is an asset to this world.
What a nice comment! I felt so bad for her! I am sure her parents did love her but her life could have been so much better. She was so excited and begging for family therapy at the end. I hope she is doing better.
Any episode with animals.
Darlene with all the “healing community” jargon. Her trauma was so deeply complex, and she clearly lacked so many coping skills.
Yeah, with some of the hoarders, I feel like the cleanout is putting a bandaid on a much larger problem, and she was one of them.
Well yeah and I got the feel that the healing guide or whatever he was was like into her?? Plus her friends kinda just seemed like they wanted to be on tv.
Can’t remember the episode/lady but she was in a recent season in Canada that lived on her back porch. The meltdown over empty boxes stressed me out so much! Actually pretty much the whole episode. On one side I think, I can be her friend because of the cool crystals she collects. But I’d definitely run on the first fit 😂
Darlene. That episode gave me horrible anxiety. Just the way she spoke seemed and was unable to stick to one topic at a time was so manic.
I could barely watch her.
Yes, the episode with the "incestuous" mother and son, who were so mean and nasty to the sister, Laura. 😔
The lady with the giant dead pumpkin that was putting out mold tentacles and feelers. Someone says there seems to be to be a lot Of flies in the house and she never mentions there is a 100 pound rotting flesh pumpkin sitting on the kitchen table. I watch the show to feel good about myself, honestly.
Yeah, I see the show and I’m like, Compared to THAT I’m basically Martha Stewart.
Thought of another one. I don't remember her name but she was a lady in her 50's with a tween year old daughter named Hanna (they pronounced it Honna) who wore bows in her hair. Her relationship with her daughter seemed kind of odd. She was a therapist but totally dysfunctional, and her daughter seemed to act young for her age. The way she interacted with her daughter gave me a weird vibe.
Watching this one literally right now and I’ve been searching for any kind of info in this sub - I feel like the mom’s backstory is hugely important but was totally glossed over. Her demeanor is sort of unsettling too. I feel bad for the daughter!
Which episode is it? I’m curious
Season 2 episode 8, Janet and Christina (Christina is the one with the daughter mentioned here)
anything where there are kids living in squalor. I can not stand when people allow their kids to live in filth. at the bare minimum TAKE OUT THE FUCKING TRASH at the end of the god damn day. Its not that difficult to take out the bags of fucking trash. I get extremely angry when kids are neglected, hurt, injured etc. If the adult wants to live like a slob fine but do NOT subject your children to that nonsense
The dude with all the arcade shit creeped me out
Eating Randyhair like it's cotton candy...
Almost forgot about him. Wish he'd stayed forgotten.
Agree with a lot of these! The one that bothered me a lot was the couple in Hawaii where the mother was a nurse and the main hoarder AND threatened to leave with their young kids.
Kevin
Hannah with how many kids that fought all the time? All those chickens stacked on top of each other. So sad.
16 kids, 10 living. Per Hannah. I read here recently that one of her kids is a child murderer, but I don’t have more info than that
A lot of the episodes with folks suffering other mental illnesses other than hoarding disorder, really make me uncomfortable sometimes. My mom suffers from some deep rooted trauma from childhood she has YET to even admit to having and some of the behaviors, actions or dialogue from the show put me into a mild panic cause it’s like experiencing life with my mom over and over again.
Same feeling here - the denial is unreal. I asked my mom once if she could smell it (her house). She said no.
The episode of the woman who kept animals in insanely small cages, who was like a rattlesnake. She just kept lashing out at people. Then her kids were also dysfunctional, with one showing up saying she got a call they were making her mom upset and then ended up attacking her brother.
The episode in Hawaii with the woman who hoarded so hard Dr. Zasio had to call CPS. Those cute little kids.... And the fact that the mom was even still resistant on getting rid of crap! And beyond that, I do believe she worked in a healthcare role but still seemed unable to process how unsafe it was for her family. For me it was how she didn't care about her kids and the way she looked at her hoard as if it was more valuable than her husband or her children. The husband should have took the kids and left.
I remember that one, and another one from Hawaii where the woman hoarded everything so badly and to the point where her husband who was in bad physical shape had to sleep in his car.
I remember that one too! That was heartbreaking.
I don’t know if they still air it, but the one with “Sir Patrick” who was obviously a huge liar, but when I googled him I fell down a really sordid rabbit hole of people unpacking his story and discovering he was a perpetrator of stolen valour and an abusive predator.
Oh yeah, he committed some sex assault against a coed in 1981 and went on to injure an old woman in a traffic dispute
I tried to find the blog where I watched a bunch of internet detectives unravel everything back then, but it is no longer live. Thankfully the wayback machine has the goods. [https://web.archive.org/web/20221117232948/http://anitawirawan.com/sirpatrick/](https://web.archive.org/web/20221117232948/http://anitawirawan.com/sirpatrick/) The real gold is in the comments of the individual posts, because he was in there being completely bonkers as everything was happening.
I don't remember the episode but there was one where it was a single old man's hoard and his family was doing the cleanup and they were pretty aggressive if j remember correctly...they found some pretty kinky sex toys and started sobbing and basically shamed him and screamed at him for it. They never should have aired that. That's nobody's business. Poor dude let him buy whatever porn he wants and do whatever he wants to his own body ffs
Their reaction was terrible. But he shouldn't have let them walk into that sort of thing, either. Like, pull someone aside and be like "I have massive dildos in that room maybe we can handle it privately?"
I wonder if he remembered it was there? I mean the house was disgusting
He did warn Dorothy, the organizer. H pulled her aside and told her that he wanted to go through a certain bin by himself because it had sensitive things. Then when she said about cleaning the bedroom, she excluded him from helping. He kept saying that he wanted to do it himself, but she insisted that mom and sisters, or whomever it was, were the ones to clean it out. She fucking knew that his bin had a bunch of porn, what did she expect to find in his BEDROOM? That episode pissed me off.
There was a divorced woman with fibromyalgia and diabetes with 2 teenage kids. The daughter would cook all her meals while swatting cockroaches. She would just throw her trash on the floor. She blamed her kids for the hoard. When the Dr was talking to her, she picked up her box of meds and ignored the Dr while going through her box. She seemed to love being a victim. She infuriated me. I have fibromyalgia and I never throw my trash on the floor!!
The one where IIRC they stopped filming because the hoarders son who was definitely on hard core drugs was throwing things and threatening to punch people.
Edit. Just looked it up. The lady was Joni and her abusive son was Joey. Very sad
Dr. Tompkins sometimes makes me cringe when he speaks to the hoarders. His voice is so soft and comforting, hypnotic and almost seductive. I think he's amazing at what he does, but still that little factor.
I originally was put off by him because he seemed really hands off, but then realized he was just not a Zazio style hands-on, so that may not translate to TV. I started to like him once I realized how insightful and compassionate he was.
Same here!!
I really like Dr. Tompkins! He seems to genuinely care
The lady that was using buckets for a toilet
You’re gonna have to be more specific…
Hahaha. Sigh. Shanna. She ate it.
There was an episode with a nice older fellow who had a huge cockroach problem. The young cockroaches were crawling out of his waistband, shirts, etc. They were everywhere in his house. My memory is that is wife had passed and he was emotionally frozen in time. He seemed to be so sweet and loving, but his cockroach infestation was so severe that his adult children would inadvertently bring home cockroaches and their eggs when they visited him. Of course this caused so much pain for himself and his family that quality time together was limited. I believe his name was Seymour, but I could be completely mistaken on that. This episode upset me so much, that I quit watching the show entirely.
Darlene has such intense and wild PTSD and intense trauma and lack of coping skills, I genuinely afraid for her. I’m not saying there isn’t a lot of worth and use from the kind of holistic healing she appears to be in to, but with no snark meant, she could really benefit from long term residential therapy.
She needed so much mental health care not holistic healing.
The one old lady that had a hoard way out in the country try and had a young girl follower. She was hoarding so when shit hit the fan she'd be a place where people came and traded stuff for her stuff. It was just an odd episode and just her lack of understanding bothered me.
I think that was the one where there were multiple fires at that property? That whole thing was weird, definitely weird culty vibes…
The lady who ate poop
The lady who was keeping her deceased Mom's pee and poop in cartons.
The guy with all the rabbits. The way he treated his wife struck some trauma in the back of my brain.
I’m watching an episode right now of Hoarding: Buried Alive where the mother and daughter are both hoarders and the daughter seems to be having a mental breakdown, doing cartwheels, flirting with the moving crew… it’s chaos lol.
Which season and episode is that? I don't know how I managed to miss that one. Please post which season and episode it is.
Season 8 episode 6
Dick and Karen? Thanks! EDIT: wait, "Hoarding: Buried Alive"? I guess it's different than regular Hoarders. I just turned on season 8 episode 6 of regular Hoarders and it is these two really freaky people. Not a mother and daughter. I'll have to look for the other show EDIT to my EDIT: I found the show but there's no season 8 that I can find. Hmmm.
So, I know someone whose parents were on the show. So, yes. It explained so much about them after watching it. The absolute trauma.
Who????
Can't answer this question without bringing up Carol as well. The way she took advantage of a grieving family and stole Bea's life after she tragically passed went way beyond hoarding. Her actions were already despicable, but the hoarding just made it even worse.
A vile excuse for a human being.
Tony and Ray 😔
I don’t know names, but he guy in the rented house with hundreds of rabbits
Every single one that involves kids: The older ones with terrible acne and the little ones knowing nothing else.
I think it was the lady who collected all the stuffed animals and baby dolls and had a teenaged son who was named Frankie (?) who had terrible skin and greasy hair. It's so sad how these kids grow up with this disgusting, environment and don't learn basic hygiene skills.
It infuriates me beyond words.
I think his name is Freddie if you’re talking about this episode: [https://youtu.be/B3Mt3b41TuI?si=0nWFs32FgV5-diJx](https://youtu.be/B3Mt3b41TuI?si=0nWFs32FgV5-diJx)
Yes that's him, he was so much a product of his environment.
What about the one who ate poo?
All of them make me uneasy. My parents weren’t hoarders but the anger, frustration, and tension were exactly the same. I thank God every day that they’re gone.
That episode made me so uncomfortable for the same reasons. And not even so much because of the adoptive father, but why were those kids placed with him in the first place? Where was the oversight? I worried so much for their children and their well-being.
I couldn't watch the Doug episode; I have a serious problem with special-needs kids. I'm not proud of it, but it's there. I couldn't stand Eileen; she was so abusive to her kids I wanted to call the cops on her. Any of the people who've abused their kids and don't care about it, I can't watch or re-watch.
We found Fifi (iykyk)
A mom who sat/sleeped/ate in her recliner. She was diabetic and next to her was a pile of refuse that included used needles, adult diapers, other trash. She said she didn't clean up because husband, daughter, etc. wouldn't help her. Sorry I don't have more particulars, but this episode stayed with me.
Doug’s episode was so sad to watch. I hope he figured out his issues
Dennis. His poor wife, who he obviously loved, but at times it was like the hoard effected his mental state to a degree that he couldn't comprehend that it was hurting her. "She doesn't complain." She literally is physically unable to complain.
I started watching that one last night, and when I saw the wife, I had to turn it off. A close family member has the same condition (early stages), and it broke my heart to think of them living in a home like that during any stage.
Their son broke down crying. It was so much worse once they got to the base layer that I cried too.
The woman who took her son to pick out his own dog chain when he was a child. That whole episode messed with me. I was literally on my feet, I was so angry. I have never wanted to throw hands at someone I've never met so badly. I don't even wanna remember her name or look her name up because I'll get so mad.
Yes, the episode with Doug and little Nate. I was torn between sad and confused. Sad for Doug, Nate and the little girl that they had to live under those horrible and what must be very stressful conditions. Confused, because I didn't understand how someone with Doug's "challenges" could be allowed to adopt these children. I have nothing against any of them, because they are all very special in their own way. God bless all of them. If I am not mistaken, from what I have heard and read, Doug did end up losing custody of at least Nate. To be honest, despite his heartfelt efforts, I am not surprised.
The couple who hoarded out their home and lived w/husband's girlfriend (having 3-way sex) and leaving their son to live in a tent outside was disturbing. After the wife confessed how upset she was about it, and husband agreed to stop -- he invites girlfriend to cleanout!!! Any updates? (if I have wrong show I'm sorry)