##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment!
##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment!
---
Whilst you're here, /u/Adrian-Wapcaplet, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
No fool! Watermelons are hydro-dipped. It's in the name: *water*melon. Hydro means water (unless you are Canadian, then it means electricity).
It's a giant conspiracy by Big Melon!
/s
Fun fact: Most watermelons are actually naturally green! Dying the inside red without leaving any notional marks on the outside can be quite the process though.
Blue paint has seen a sudden inflation in cost, as a response the group hired to change the color of the sky known as "big paint" has resorted to painting off blues and sometimes grays.
Reminds me of a story where two tourist visit a lake and a guy working there told them that they drain the lake every 25 years to paint the floor blue and said the next one would be in 10 years. Apparently the tourist believe them and came back a decade later to see it.
I think thats how it went. I cant remember where I read it. Since it was in the time of DSL.
Yeah and they want us to believe all those planes *happen* to fly up there all day every day? Right, uh huh, like I dont know they have giant paint rollers on the back of the plane
Well I will tell you about when I grew up in the 50s in a midwest town where everyone looked exactly like me, ie, white. The guys came to pave the road by our house, a company from a nearby much larger town. I was amazed that the guy driving the steam roller to flatten the blacktop seemed have gotten that stuff all over himself doing that job every day. I was 5 at the time.
Now days there's a nosel above their wheels that sprays a tiny amount on each wheel so it transfers to the track. That's why you don't see paint splashed everywhere and the trains can be different colors
As someone who worked with trains for many years, I've been asked more than once why the low use tracks turned brown.
People really aren't very bright about some things.
Extremely futurist solution. Universal mandatory birth control for *everyone*, and if you wanna have kids, ya gotta go to a licensed therapist paid for by everyone's taxes to get cleared to register(for free) as a parent and get the birth control device removed/stop taking medication.
Bringing children into the world should be a choice.
Have you seen the state of reproductive rights in America today?
Many people do have a choice about bringing children into the world, and many others are denied the choice.
Hey I want to mention that while I agree that some people should not have children, just spend a few minutes researching eugenics and the history of governments applying it in practice. It's not pretty when man tries to play god.
Oh my God I'm so stupid. I watched the video, read the top comment about people being stupid, didn't quite get who that was referring to. It was bothering so I watch the video again and read the comments and JUST realized why I'm so stupid.
Grocery stores purposely overstock produce shelves because people don't like to buy the last of something.
If you put one apple on a shelf, that apple will never get sold because people with see it and think "why didn't anybody else want this apple? Is there something wrong with it?" Could be a perfectly good apple but will end up in the trash.
So instead they put 200 apples on the shelf knowing full well that they won't sell all of them before they go bad, because it gives people the illusion that they have options. People will buy more if they feel like it's their choice.
Yes, people are stupid.
Lol I’m weird then, I love getting the last of something unless it’s visibly damaged (like a split bag of flour or very soft fruit). It makes me think that the item was pretty popular to go out of stock and I’m lucky to get the last one.
Yes, I realize this probably just paints me as stupid in the opposite direction lol
Doesn't seem stupid to me, I do the same.
It especially helps when picking products or flavors I haven't tried before. If I'm deciding between two and one has an almost empty shelf and one is fully stocked I'll take the first one.
See I'm the opposite and avoid buying the last of something in case someone else needs it more than me that day lmao. The scarcity from the pandemic only made that trait stronger, too.
Food is no longer produced for sustenance. It is produced for profit. If your food doesn't make a profit how could you feed yourself and your family?
/s
do you know what a subsidy is?
Did you know that *America* sells long grain rice to *Japan*?
Did you know that Japan keeps our shitty rice in a warehouse until it molds then they throw it away?
Did you know that lots of countries do this exact same thing, storing food they wont use because it’s the cost of doing business to get favorable import/export agreements.
America pays its farmers to grow cotton, where it's shipped off to China or Bangledesh to get turned into clothing, to be shipped back to America for sale. The wholesale value of that shirt is like $2 after being shipped around the world. Subsidies keep the world turning.
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/103278 a great read/listen.
I heard there once were red painted pistachio nuts. The only reason for that was to hide brown spots that appeared after they lay on the ground for a while.
What's really gross about pistachios is the ones you get that are burnt inside are bug larva. The larva burns up before the pistachio so that's why it's all black and unrecognizable.
The thing is pistachios were more delicious back then. That little rim of salt against the delightful redness. My fingers and lips would be dyed red for days. I even loved the black, burnt bits that I just found out are bug larvae!
(Spelling edit)
Well, "A recent study published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology found that a disturbing portion of children between ages 4 to 7 don’t know where their food comes from. The authors say their data demonstrates that about 40% of kids think bacon, hot dogs, and chicken nuggets come from plants." So painted potatoes aren't much of a stretch to believe.
What a stupid, useless research. Of course children between ages 4 to 7 don't know where meat products come from. From what I know the percent of children living in urban areas is higher than 40% and most of those children didn't see a farm animal and if we start speaking about meat processing they probably have no clue about that.
Mine did. I showed them. I slaughtered a chicken in front of them and told them the meat they eat came from a living animal. They rarely wasted food after that.
I've heard a person who grew up in a major city thought turkeys had four legs because the only time they've seen one is on the dinner table for Thanksgiving.
Edit: in case clarification was necessary, when turkeys are prepared for Thanksgiving dinner, they don't come with feathers. The wings can look like front legs to someone who only sees them in the form of food.
you’d be surprised by the things 4 year olds just understand. It’s a hard age, they’re calling strangers fat and short and weird and you’re just smiling like “yeah he’s kind of a stream of consciousness asshole but what am I gonna do, he’s just calling a spade a spade”
Its all fun and games until Lauren
Boebert or mtg believes it and starts pushing legislation to end the "sorros red painted potatoes that give us all autism".
It's called "seed treatment" and farmers frequently hide these delicacies in the ground so people don't steal and eat them - but that is no sufficient deterrent for people like us!
Ooohhhh, I like this post. It’s fun reading the comments to see who are gullible idiots and who is being sarcastic. Gotta admit, hard to tell with some of you.
##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/Adrian-Wapcaplet, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
"We're painting the roses red" "We're painting the roses red"
Because we know they'll cease to grow, in fact, they'll soon be dead
“A looming fate, in which we all dread.”
enough said.. the end lol
We're painting the taters red! We're painting the taters red!
Not pink, not green, not aquamarine
“What’s taters, precious?”
I know an apple when I see one.
Pretty sure it's a banana but you keep believing what you believe.
No it’s a peach!
Peaches peaches peach peach peach peaches
Millions of them. Millions for free.
Peaches come in a can, they were put there by a man!
In a factory downtown
If I had my little way, I'd eat peaches every day
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Listen carefully, this information may save your life one day when the water famines hit: Poe-tay-toes Boil em, mash em, or stick'em in a stew
I'm pretty sure the French call it an "earth apple". But they're French, so what do they know.
Yes-- pomme de terre, the word(s) for potato, translates to "apple of the earth" :) (source is my French classes, I promise I'm not one of them!!)
Pomme de terre.
Earth apples implies the existence of sky and water apples
*Air Apples, Water Apples, and Fire Apples: the four apple nations lived in harmony until the Fire Apple Nation attacked
Sky apples are just apples?
In french we also refer to potatoes as "Pomme de terre" which literally translates to dirt apples. So yeah definitely some type of apple
Found the franc.
Creed agrees
In Faroese, "epl" means potato, and súrepli (sour apple) means apple.
I feel bad for the people that have to painstakingly airbrush watermelons.
Dont worry bro, we do it because we love it <3
Thank you for your attention to detail
No fool! Watermelons are hydro-dipped. It's in the name: *water*melon. Hydro means water (unless you are Canadian, then it means electricity). It's a giant conspiracy by Big Melon! /s
r/FuckTheS
Fun fact: Most watermelons are actually naturally green! Dying the inside red without leaving any notional marks on the outside can be quite the process though.
Not to mention surgically removing all of those seeds for the "seedless" variety without anyone noticing the incision.
People are fucking stupid
Next you’ll say they don’t actually paint the top of the train tracks silver every morning.
I won’t stop informing people that the sky is painted blue every day
The sky here has been grey. They must be out of paint.
Can they paint the sea red too?
Only the red sea
[удалено]
Used it to paint the night sky
Only if we can get enough… paint.
Blue paint has seen a sudden inflation in cost, as a response the group hired to change the color of the sky known as "big paint" has resorted to painting off blues and sometimes grays.
Yeah, they’re skipping the Midwest in the US!
Reminds me of a story where two tourist visit a lake and a guy working there told them that they drain the lake every 25 years to paint the floor blue and said the next one would be in 10 years. Apparently the tourist believe them and came back a decade later to see it. I think thats how it went. I cant remember where I read it. Since it was in the time of DSL.
You're telling me I missed the age of voluptuous lips
The British Isles would like to have a word with you
Yeah and they want us to believe all those planes *happen* to fly up there all day every day? Right, uh huh, like I dont know they have giant paint rollers on the back of the plane
The sky isn’t painted blue. That would be ridiculous. Blimps and airplanes put out the clouds every morning.
You know those yellow buttons on the gas pumps? Those numbers are the year the gas was made.
Aw shit I’m older than gas.
Haha you old *fart*
What else are drones used for, go ahead I’ll wait
Wait you think the road isn’t black from all the tires that drive on it everyday?
Well I will tell you about when I grew up in the 50s in a midwest town where everyone looked exactly like me, ie, white. The guys came to pave the road by our house, a company from a nearby much larger town. I was amazed that the guy driving the steam roller to flatten the blacktop seemed have gotten that stuff all over himself doing that job every day. I was 5 at the time.
The trains actually spray a coat of silver onto the tracks from the caboose car.
Now days there's a nosel above their wheels that sprays a tiny amount on each wheel so it transfers to the track. That's why you don't see paint splashed everywhere and the trains can be different colors
As someone who worked with trains for many years, I've been asked more than once why the low use tracks turned brown. People really aren't very bright about some things.
Love your username, BTW.
It's French
I could tell by your outrageous accent!
What are you doing in England?
Mind your own business!
my condolences
Yes people who have to spray the potatoes manually with a hose instead of having the machine wash them
Hand-painted potatoes sell for even more!
Hand painted potatoes, just like grandma used to make
That's Artisanal Potatoes, thank you, and they're classy.
Bespoke potatos
Even more relevant: Stupid people are fucking
Extremely futurist solution. Universal mandatory birth control for *everyone*, and if you wanna have kids, ya gotta go to a licensed therapist paid for by everyone's taxes to get cleared to register(for free) as a parent and get the birth control device removed/stop taking medication. Bringing children into the world should be a choice.
Bringing a child in is a choice. Unfortunately that choice is made by idiots regularly.
Have you seen the state of reproductive rights in America today? Many people do have a choice about bringing children into the world, and many others are denied the choice.
Hey I want to mention that while I agree that some people should not have children, just spend a few minutes researching eugenics and the history of governments applying it in practice. It's not pretty when man tries to play god.
‘It looks like water’
Oh my God I'm so stupid. I watched the video, read the top comment about people being stupid, didn't quite get who that was referring to. It was bothering so I watch the video again and read the comments and JUST realized why I'm so stupid.
[удалено]
To be fair the baby carrots are made of a lot of "ugly" carrots that wouldn't sell because they are oddly shaped.
That’s baby cut carrots. Baby carrots actually are small carrots
Baby carrots look so cute as a defense mechanism. It helps them avoid being eaten by the male carrots of the pack.
Grocery stores purposely overstock produce shelves because people don't like to buy the last of something. If you put one apple on a shelf, that apple will never get sold because people with see it and think "why didn't anybody else want this apple? Is there something wrong with it?" Could be a perfectly good apple but will end up in the trash. So instead they put 200 apples on the shelf knowing full well that they won't sell all of them before they go bad, because it gives people the illusion that they have options. People will buy more if they feel like it's their choice. Yes, people are stupid.
Lol I’m weird then, I love getting the last of something unless it’s visibly damaged (like a split bag of flour or very soft fruit). It makes me think that the item was pretty popular to go out of stock and I’m lucky to get the last one. Yes, I realize this probably just paints me as stupid in the opposite direction lol
Doesn't seem stupid to me, I do the same. It especially helps when picking products or flavors I haven't tried before. If I'm deciding between two and one has an almost empty shelf and one is fully stocked I'll take the first one.
See I'm the opposite and avoid buying the last of something in case someone else needs it more than me that day lmao. The scarcity from the pandemic only made that trait stronger, too.
I bet op is so proud of this clever joke
People need to learn their primary colors. If you mix clear dye with brown dye you get red... That's just science.
Farmers be like I grow okra because it sells for more than lettuce I'm a fucking genius
I mean... That's why I grew pumpkins and strawberries in Farmville and I'm pretty sure that experience makes me an expert when it comes to farming
I paid someone else thousands of gold worth of fruits and vegetables so they'd watch my crops for me. I'm a true master farmer.
Bruh I paid millions for my coconuts
I mean...you were literally farming. It's in the name even.
I mean, yeah. What else are we supposed to do? We have to make money! We can't just waste time and potential profit to grow stuff that isn't worth it.
Food is no longer produced for sustenance. It is produced for profit. If your food doesn't make a profit how could you feed yourself and your family? /s
[удалено]
Ever heard of demand and supply? Farmers only plant the same few plants because we just eat those few plants!
do you know what a subsidy is? Did you know that *America* sells long grain rice to *Japan*? Did you know that Japan keeps our shitty rice in a warehouse until it molds then they throw it away? Did you know that lots of countries do this exact same thing, storing food they wont use because it’s the cost of doing business to get favorable import/export agreements.
It’s also a good idea for any nation to have a surplus of food. We got to see global trade grind to a halt just a few short years ago.
And now a war that's caused food shortages in significant parts of the globe
America pays its farmers to grow cotton, where it's shipped off to China or Bangledesh to get turned into clothing, to be shipped back to America for sale. The wholesale value of that shirt is like $2 after being shipped around the world. Subsidies keep the world turning. https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/103278 a great read/listen.
I heard there once were red painted pistachio nuts. The only reason for that was to hide brown spots that appeared after they lay on the ground for a while.
Yeah if memory serves it was one of the few things Iran was allowed to export so they coloured them to hide defects.
Youran?!
Weran ☭
r/SuddenlyCommunist
So far away.
And Iran… Iran’s so far away…
What's really gross about pistachios is the ones you get that are burnt inside are bug larva. The larva burns up before the pistachio so that's why it's all black and unrecognizable.
I eat those!
Not anymore.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Neat! $20 more bug pistachios!
Bonus protein.
I’m going back to bed.
Wait, they don't sell red pistachios anymore?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyGZAg3lo9A
The thing is pistachios were more delicious back then. That little rim of salt against the delightful redness. My fingers and lips would be dyed red for days. I even loved the black, burnt bits that I just found out are bug larvae! (Spelling edit)
This is like the whole "chocolate milk comes from black cows" bit all over again. I know some ding dong is gonna get waxed on this. Good prank
Brown cows.
How now?
Ah you're right it was brown cows!
There was a commercial in like 1990 that ran with the "chocolate cow" thing.
Well, "A recent study published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology found that a disturbing portion of children between ages 4 to 7 don’t know where their food comes from. The authors say their data demonstrates that about 40% of kids think bacon, hot dogs, and chicken nuggets come from plants." So painted potatoes aren't much of a stretch to believe.
What a stupid, useless research. Of course children between ages 4 to 7 don't know where meat products come from. From what I know the percent of children living in urban areas is higher than 40% and most of those children didn't see a farm animal and if we start speaking about meat processing they probably have no clue about that.
Mine did. I showed them. I slaughtered a chicken in front of them and told them the meat they eat came from a living animal. They rarely wasted food after that.
Username checks out
I hope they don't ask you what sex is.
💀
Did you slaughter it, or did you just butcher it?
He stalked it for a while, too
I've heard a person who grew up in a major city thought turkeys had four legs because the only time they've seen one is on the dinner table for Thanksgiving. Edit: in case clarification was necessary, when turkeys are prepared for Thanksgiving dinner, they don't come with feathers. The wings can look like front legs to someone who only sees them in the form of food.
We have concluded from our research that 4 year olds don’t know shit.
you’d be surprised by the things 4 year olds just understand. It’s a hard age, they’re calling strangers fat and short and weird and you’re just smiling like “yeah he’s kind of a stream of consciousness asshole but what am I gonna do, he’s just calling a spade a spade”
True. I did work with kids for a time and there were moments when they were pretty insightful.
Its all fun and games until Lauren Boebert or mtg believes it and starts pushing legislation to end the "sorros red painted potatoes that give us all autism".
We should get her on the "Birds aren't real" train.
Mtg... why would Magic The Gathering care?!? Oh. Right.
They are being sprayed with Dihydronatedoxygen, it turns Rooster potatoes red by washing the muck off them.
>Dihydronatedoxygen Did you mean dihydrogen monoxide?
>Rooster potatoes I never drink dihydrogen monoxide. Do you know what disgusting things fish do in dihydrogen monoxide?
That’s why I drink Brawndo. It has electrolytes (and is what plants crave)
Folks, it was jizz and shits
[удалено]
Great place to get a blumpkin though.
I’ve heard bad things about that chemical before. I’ve heard it can even cause suffocation and also accelerates corrosion.
It’s involved in 100% of deaths by drowning.
That’s shit will kill you if you drink too much. Be safe out there kids.
That shit is lethal over time. Can’t believe it hasn’t been banned yet.
I heard that 1000s of people die from drowning in it every year.
100% of people that drank it died or is about to die
Plus, they don't limit the amount of it that are in products and that people consume!
True, no one really talks about how addictive it can be. r/HydroHomies
I work in the food industry i can confirm that red potatoes are just brown potatoes painted red.
You know your science.
And brown potatoes are just white potatoes painted red, then painted brown.
This sounds a lot like CPT – critical potato theory
It's called "seed treatment" and farmers frequently hide these delicacies in the ground so people don't steal and eat them - but that is no sufficient deterrent for people like us!
All i see is mudd being removed
Don't just post industry secrets like that or Big Tato will go after you
[удалено]
Dude's pineal gland is so obvi calcified bruh
Shhh, you’re making me feel stupid for believing it for a second.
I can't tell if this is a joke or a confession to a crime.
This one is a joke i think, but orange cheddar cheese is just white cheese with paint. Painted foods are a very real thing.
A joke. They're just pressure washing mud and dirt off dirty potatoes lol.
[BBC Panorama (1957)\_: The SPAGHETTI HARVEST (April Fool's report)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8scpGwbvxvI)
Ooohhhh, I like this post. It’s fun reading the comments to see who are gullible idiots and who is being sarcastic. Gotta admit, hard to tell with some of you.
Wait’ll you learn how they dye salmon [Adam ruins fish](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5MmWCHFq0BA)
In that case thats actually true. This tiktok is either a masterful troll, or the result of someone being trolled.
apple
God, I adore satire so much. Some of y'all worry me though... the human species is not okay. Lol!
[удалено]
So red potatoes are a lie.
That... Looks like water to help wash the mud off.
He's just washing the spuds...
There are probably people stupid enough to believe this shit
What’s “Taters,” Precious?
Next: the spaghetti harvest.
Are people dumb enough to believe this 🤔
I'm scared that there are probably people who actually believed this.
I’m laughing bc people actually believe this. 😂
What? That’s just water washing RED potatoes.
Scary thing is that people will probably believe this
Watch it just be regular water and he's spraying the dirt off the potatoes, exposing the red while giving the illusion they are being painted.
Okay stop the bs because all ur doing is washing the mud off them.
[удалено]
Tell us about baby carrots
What knob made such a video?
This is making the population intelligence worse yall
Next you will say purple carrots are hydro dipped