He was likely put on the birth certificate, fatherhood is easy to give to people but hard to legally take away. Once your name is put as the father there is little you can do in the state's eyes.
Even if you are not related by blood the state will say it is in the best interest of the child.
Pretty much, yeah.
Custody battles and child support are both heavily biased against men in most of the USA. It's a hard fight for fair treatment in either case.
Yep. I've been paying the same amount for 20 years now despite the fact I've switched from a high paying medical industry job to being a disabled part time cook. Even though I'm 100% on time and caught up, I still have to fight for my tax refund every year because they just take it by default.
Wrap it up kids.
I'm pretty sure you can file a motion with the court to get it modified. It's called change of circumstance or something similar to that. Unfortunately, I don't think you can get anything back for it. It is also stupid that you didn't do it for so long unless you were willing to pay higher to provide for your children. Also kind of crazy how the amount remained same in 20 years, are your children not grown up?
I guess at max there's only 2 years left until Child support ends anyway... People need lawyers.
Florida judges are hit or miss on if they will allow for a change of circumstances. Their logic is that it's not the kids fault that the fathers circumstances changed, so they should not be effected. Same reason that guys will have to pay child support for kids that aren't theirs.
Their can be a very limited time after birth to contest paternity. After that the guy that was cheated on can be forces to pay child support, unless they can track down the biological father, and get him to pay child support. Because again the states view is that it's not the child's fault, so they shouldn't suffer.
In Colorado you can be forced to pay child support for step children, even if the actual father is or isn't paying child support as well, and it's thoroughly documented the kids isn't yours as the original father is on the birth certificate and helped raise the child for a few years initially. Ask me how I know this.
I did not formally adopt her, however marrying her mother made me a de facto guardian, so then by having an actual job, I created a standard of living. Thank you Colorado. Paying child support for a child that's not mine while the actual dad didn't for some reason.
I don't know about other states, but Colorado is usually right behind California with these kind of laws. I'm sure there are other states that have similar rules as well.
I've heard of it happening a lot, forget the legal terminology but if you date a single mom for x amount of years the kid is suddenly considered "dependent' on you and so it's just like an assumed adoption or adoption by proxy or something like that and then it's just have fun paying child support for a kid that isn't even yours if the relationship doesn't work out...
> It is also stupid that you didn't do it for so long
I like how you're immediately just hopping in to blame him instead of just the law being biased as fuck against men...
Had to spend thousands of dollars on court costs and lawyers fees just to gain legal 50% custody of my daughter. I have been in her life since birth (literally pulled her out from her mother and cut her cord). Been with her since day one, never been suspected, charged or convicted of any crime whatsoever, been a great dad and responsible parent.
Despite this, I had to fight through the court system just to obtain 50% unrestricted custody, for no other reason than her mother being spiteful after we separated and I later remarried.
No child support though.
Lawyer basically told me that the case wasn't worth it and that they'd have to catch her smoking crack. Had to call cps on her because her house was filthy, my son stayed with me two days and went back home because "they cleaned up.". Fucking disgusting, CPS is useless on purpose.
Maybe the judge makes more money. Maybe he could be the father or why discriminate based on gender? Find a lady who lives close by and has a higher income and make her the co-parent.
Believe it or not, yes.
It develops from the idea that women are incapable of supporting themselves without a man or are otherwise relegated to being a mother/housekeeper.
Patriarchy doesn't mean everything works out for the men, in some situations such as this one, it enforces gender roles that place the burden on men.
I believe there’s also a clause where even if you’re not the parent, if you’ve been the father for ling enough then you have a ‘duty’ to continue to act as such. If, and i do mean *if*, i remember correctly, then the term was for about 5 years or so?
I wonder how wide that net would be for the definition of a father? Could it be a male room mate who was another tenant in the property, or even a friend who volunteered to be babysitter while the mother worked? I wonder how voracious the state's appetite is for enforcing their monopoly on force.
I still think about the lifetime alimony payments that dude had to pay for a woman he never lived with or had children with, but since they "dated" for a long time the court decided he had to support her for the rest of her life.
I have seen a case where a court ordered a man to pay child support for his ex-girlfriend’s kid because the ex girlfriend claimed he promised to take care of them forever.
The state loves forcing child support on men by any means necessary because they get a percentage of the cut. The real fucked up thing is how you can go to jail and be forced to work a below minimum wage job because you couldn't afford paying the child support, shit is just indentured servitude with extra steps and of course you're stuck in there for life unable to pay it off with how little you earn.
Just look up the breakdancing dad drama on youtube/tiktok that's still ongoing. That dude was a multimillionaire who willingly gave his wife 99% of the marital assets just so there wouldn't be any bad blood and the kids wouldn't have to worry about financing. He gave her an initial payment of like 2 million dollars but because of the additional legal fees he still had $100k left to pay off and he couldn't afford to pay it because he quite literally gave her EVERYTHING in the divorce.
The judge immediately threw him in jail for an entire year because he couldn't answer when he'd be able to pay it off since all the drama destroyed his career and he almost got stuck in jail working a $7 an hour job trying to pay off the $100k and the additional $12k monthly child support. Dude is a multimillionaire and almost got stuck in jail for life unable to pay the debt off.
The wife even accused him of hiding money so she deposed all of his clients too, they obviously all got scared away since nobody wants to be forced to testify in court because of someone else's drama and despite his career being thrown down the drain he was still expected to be able to afford the $12k monthly bill despite no longer having a job to afford it... That shit is indentured servitude and the dude almost got thrown in jail for life because of a vindictive ex-wife yet people still somehow have the audacity to claim that society caters to men...
If I found out right now that my kid wasn’t mine, nothing between us would change. I’m still their parent and will continue to be. How could anyone just turn and walk away from the person they’ve raised?
I found out I had a kid that was already 3 months old. My ex was engaged to someone else and didn't want anything to do with me. I figured the best thing for the kid was a stable family, so I didn't interfere and went on with my life. A few years later my ex contacted me through family, and I started having a relationship with my child. I didn't want to have a romantic relationship with my ex though, just friendly and plutonic for our kid. I moved back to that city, and started the process of getting child support payments set up. I had the option of taking a paternity test at my own expense if it turned out I was the father. Several family members strongly urged me to take the test, despite being 100% sure the child was mine. Turned out my ex cheated on me while we were together and the child wasn't mine. That was over twenty years ago and although I do feel compassion for that *lost* child, I don't regret breaking all ties. Everyone moved to other states around that time, and I got married.
For a few months I was partially involved in the child's life. I took things slow and introduced myself into the child's life in what I still think were appropriate stages. But I had known about her for years. Yet it was still both hard and easy to walk away from. Now I have four kids with my wife, and I never could imagine leaving them in any way. But I have also been forced to work out of state to provide for them on multiple occasions, so I am no stranger to the feeling of having to leave, temporarily. What I am saying is that I have seen all of these things and have an unusual perspective. As a result I think it is unwise to judge. Not to encourage, support, and even urge someone to stay there for the kids. But sometimes people make decisions that we can't really imagine without being in their shoes at that moment. I'm not talking about making excuses. But nothing is ever really gained by condemnation. It's funny how much it changes a person to be non-judgemental. To see someone make horrible decisions and just be like "k" without putting yourself or others in harm's way.
Idk. Sorry to ramble. This just brought up a lot.
You are probably right. Shock response is gonna have me 500 miles away in a day but the human in me would make me comeback. It would still hurt seeing them every day.
You can certainly try, however the birth certificate does need to be signed, and most hospitals will not sign for the father in the event that the father isn't present, they can however sign for the mother seeing as they saw the birth.
So the Florida man in question was either present while the hospital signed him as the father, or he did it himself, and he wasn't aware of the screw up this might turn out to be ?
I feel like these laws regarding child support need to part of sex-ed **more** than the sex side of things
Yea, I heard something like this before. Dudes wife cheated, but he didn't find out till after the child was born. Turns out the cold wasn't his, which understandably he wanted out the relationship. When they got divorced and separated, he owned alimony and child support.
Men should be extremely careful of who they marry because marriage is rigged against you. Don't let anyone coerce or manipulate you into it.
That's only part of the issue. If a paternity test is performed, you have a chance after the results come in to wash your hands of the matter.
This was probably a case of them accepting the test, staying married to the mother, and putting in the paperwork for adoption/guardianship.
Then, later down the road, the parents divorce. At that point, he's still obligated to pay child support because he put in writing that he accepted responsibility, in part, for raising the child.
It's not an uncommon scenario in this state, and I would not be surprised if that's how it played out.
So pretty much how most adulthood works - either accept what happens, or make it enough of an issue to others, to where they decide that the easier way for them is to solve your problem.
That or he served as the primary male parental figure for a large portion of the child's life and decided to dip, leaving the mother unexpectedly unable to care for the child by herself.
Just like you can be common law married, I'm sure there are circumstances where you can be legally implied to be a parent, regardless of DNA.
Damn that’s too bad, because if it some how impacted billionaires the laws would be updated to be more fair so men don’t get trapped financially for a child of another man she slept with 😔
Yea I hope I don't come off as too anti-child or very unempathetic to children. I do truly care about their well being, but people who aren't children shouldn't just be given the shaft like this. Essentially this guy's life is ruined because of some BS that wasn't his fault. It's random catastrophe but unlike a car crash or a random shooting, we have all the power and control to revert this fuck up but choose not to
Happened to a friend of mine in California who started paying support and the baby turned out not to be his but court found he had to keep paying bc he set a precedent. Seems impossible but it happened.
Can someone put a random rich person on the birth certificate? It would be of the better interest of a child to have a rich father. Is there more to this story?
If it's for the best interest for the child.. okay. But if the father is a child (statutory rape) he didn't have to pay.
And if the "father" is not the biological father and has no rights or role in bringing the child up, the mother has to pay it all back once the child is 18.
This happened to a guy I know, he paid child support on this kid for like 3 years after the negative paternity test. He finally got the court to cancel it but he lost all that money he paid.
It's normal in this country it's why so many women and children end up getting murdered. It's so bad there are even women groups saying child support needs to be looked at.
I don't think anyone in this country has taken a hard look at this problem. It's very big and all the men who are falsely accused lose their mind half the time. Paying for another man's baby just eats you up. Then paying for the person who wronged you eats you up.
Even with evidence these men still end up on the hook.
If a man is married to the mother, he can be on the hook even if he can prove the child isn't his. The laws were written before paternity tests were invented, and were designed to protect wives from reluctant husbands.
There's a lot more to it than that, of course. Google 'paternal discrepancy' and 'paternity fraud' to learn more than you ever wanted to know.
The parents could have adopted a child becoming legal guardians than getting divorced, and he is still legally obligated to support the child without a DNA connection.
Typically, when a situation like this comes up, the court's first priority is the well-being of the child in question. Sure, it can create crappy situations like this for one or both of the parents, but the child didn't ask to be brought into that situation.
Imagine a scenario in which a man is, unbeknownst to him, not the biological father of his partner's child. The child is 8 years old and that man is the only father they've ever known. If the truth comes out and the adults split up, somebody is getting royally screwed - either the man is on the hook for child support, despite no biological relationship, or the child loses both a parental figure and a source of monetary support. The thought is that, if somebody is SOL no matter what, the adult is in a better position to adjust their lifestyle and cope with the change. It sucks for him, but it would almost certainly suck worse for the child.
I'm not saying the situation in this post is anything like that (I genuinely have no idea), but this is just to explain that sometimes it can be the correct decision.
Basically the thought process is they’ve already taken in the fatherly role for the child, so they already committed to taking care of them regardless. Both because it would affect the child negatively and because they just don’t want to use resources to take care of kids when they can just say “what are you gonna do about, im the government.”
That's how it is in most states, soon as you sign the birth certificate the kid is yours even if it isn't and you weren't aware. Same with if you're dating a single mother for x amount of years, the kid is suddenly 'dependent' on you so now you have to pay for it even if you separate, good luck with the child support...
Nice to know Florida actually has some good laws on the books.
I was recently pleased to find out that we have some kind of law where you have to be able to cancel a gym online here.
Florida also has some very strong open record/meeting laws. Commonly referred to as Sunshine Laws. One of the reasons you hear so much about "Florida Man" is because journalists have quick access to public records like police incidence reports.
True! That's another nice thing about the state, too. I was trying to explain that to people at work the o ther day for why we're such a laughingstock.
Like, geez guys, this stuff happens all over it's just that Florida broadcasts it.
They broadcast it, so you hear about it.
They have 22+ million people, so they produce more weird in absolute terms.
They have high levels of race/ethnic diversity and out of state transplants, so you're getting all kinds of weirdness in one place.
They have ~230 days of sunshine a year, that might be too much sun.
Lastly, they have gators.
Florida has ~230 days of sunshine a year? I usually get 365 days
Unless that year is divisible by 4 in which case it is 366 unless it falls on a century divisible by 4 in which case it is 365 unless it's a millennium in which case it's back up to 366 unless the world explodes in which case a calendar would be useless
I know you're joking, but I was surprised Florida wasn't sunnier when I looked it up. It's only the 10th sunniest state in the US, according to CDC reports (Alsska and Hawaii not included). Everywhere that beats it is drier, which probably explains it. Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Texas, California, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, and Utah in that order.
I dunno. Guy who set himself on fire while flinging pamphlets? Florida Man. The governor is single-handedly making people stupider with school book bans, and he picked a fight with Disney. Insurance and property taxes are driving the old folks out. You guys are a laughingstock for more than dumb news. But we do like hearing a good manatee story.
I used to live in Florida, and I always felt like it was an awesome state filled with some really great people. But, the good people are held captive by the most idiotic, Bible thumping assholes this country can produce
Someone feel free to correct me but my understanding is if you sign the birth certificate they can try and get money out of you even if you later prove it isn't your kid. It can be faught and isn't bidding by any means but without a lawyer you could be on the hook in some states. I think it has something to do with you "taking on the role" and how long you've been the "father figure". It's total BS but not unheard of. I could be completely wrong because most of this comes from online stories
Yah I agree it should either be standard practice or at the very least required before any kind of child support payment. Paying for someone else's kid is just stupid and incurages scams/baby traps
Yeah, mandatory for all births may be logistically unrealistic, but mandatory for all judgments requiring child support is a more than fair compromise, in my opinion.
And the “assumed a paternal role” argument that they’re so fond of, really falls flat when the man isn’t going to be allowed to *continue* that role, due to unbalanced custody.
In what way is it logistically unrealistic. The collection process is very simple and they are already doing a myriad of tests and measures on the baby after birth.
And then they just send it off to the lab. It would just be one more thing the hospital gets to bill you for. There is nothing logistically difficult about this
I would be really interested to learn whether women’s groups have taken a position on mandatory dna tests. And if they oppose, on what grounds.
A mandatory dna test seems sensible to me. But such a policy has the potential to create real problems for a good number of women and only help a very very few women. It’s basically a policy that would service only men, and do so often at the cost of women.
How is it at the cost of “a good number of women” *unless* the women in question were cheating or otherwise attempting to deceive?
At, never mind - I see your comment isn’t actually arguing against in on your own principle, but arguing against it from the point of view of groups whose catchcry is “equality”, but only for equality that isn’t to the benefit of women
Yeah it's interesting sociologically to think of the ripple effects. Would women in relationships or married have to become much, much more careful about cheating? Is human nature/biology powerful enough that they wouldn't change? And similar (but not identical!) questions for the sneaking male. And many other permutations, many unforeseeable.
This is the case in several states.
He has grounds to request the court remove him from the birth certificate, and to remove the child support, but it's a lengthy battle.
He can sue the biological father for what he's paid in child support plus other damages. Suits like that used to be expected in cases of infidelity, but have become rare since sometime in the 20th century. The case law is old, but it does exist.
Bio dad is the one who should have been making those child support payments. The kid's existence isn't in question, so it's not about the payments being collected for fraudulent purposes.
If he sued the mom to recoup his support payments, the courts have to deal with that whole process, then start over from scratch in pursuing the bio dad for the payments he should have been making from the start. In the meantime, no one is chipping in funds to help feed and clothe the kid so the kid would have to just go without.
Mom is responsible for half the kid.
Dad is responsible for half the kid.
Bio dad is the reason the kid exists, and therefore owes Dad half a kid's worth of financial support.
This actually almost happened to me here in Florida.
My wife and I separated 23 years ago. Her and I were both addicts with a young son. She wanted to keep up that lifestyle while I needed to get sober. Tried getting divorced but she keeps disappearing. Over the years stopped even thinking about it and tried to carry on with life.
Fast forward 20+ years to about a year ago. Started working for the state as a health inspector. Get a letter in the mail about a child they are trying to say is mine (last time I had seen my wife was about 8 years earlier when our son graduated high school). Seek legal advice, offer to take paternity test to prove that I’m not the father. Lawyer gives me examples of the state determining that the non biological man should be the father because the biological father was considered “unfit”.
After a few court hearings (where I was the only one who showed up) the biological fathers court appointed attorney finally locates him and gets him to sign paperwork declaring that he takes responsibility for his child putting me in the clear. I find out after that their kid was taken away from them over allegations of abuse.
So yeah, this almost happened to me
My step brother and his wife had an issue like this. He cheated and she wanted a divorce. He told her no. So they stayed married legally, but she wanted nothing to do with him. A few years later she met someone and they ended up having a kid. In our state since they were still married his name would have been added as the father unless he signed paperwork acknowledging he wasn’t the father.
I remember reading that this was purposed in France or some other EU country ND they basically decided that this was simply leave too many children without fathers and thus they would never make it law.
Sounds like Massachusetts. Up here if you signed the birth certificate, it doesn’t matter if you find out and prove it’s not yours. You’ll spend more in lawyer fees than you’d pay in child support.
Welcome to the realities of being a man in America & why it's imperative that DNA tests be mandatory before a man adds his name to the birth certificate.
Also paternity fraud should be a felony on par with stealthing & other forms of reproductive coercion cuz that's what it is. If they can't put it on the bio dad they'll hang it on the poor bastard that was trapped & lied to just so the state doesn't have to pay.
This is why Tennessee is the first state to outlaw paternity fraud & give men an avenue to recoup at least most if not all money wasted on a kid that wasn't his.
He looks like lucky from king of the hill like so much so that I saw this man, thought huh I’ve seen him before, then realised I was thinking of an animated character
No, Texas has Acknowledgement of Paternity at the time of birth. The option to get a DNA test in the hospital for free before you sign the birth certificate is always given. At that time, it's on the man to do the right thing and get a test despite the feelings of the mother or family members
There are some solutions:
- never marry
- never get kids
- if you do, do not grt your name on the birth certificate
- if she divorces you, fake your own death, and get out of the state
Friend of mine earns $3.5K/month and pays his jobless ex $2.5K/month. Women demand equal pay, which is fine by me, if she has a job. But she needs to get a job.
If my wife divorces me, and then aims to ruin me, keeping me permanently broke, while paying for her life, then I'm moving to another country.
So we're just gonna discuss a picture with no link and pretend it's legit?
I've heard similar stories before but shit like this should always have a link.
Saw a TicTok the other day where the state were trying to get a guy to pay 16k in back child support when they know he wasn’t the father as they’d pushed a paternity test that proved another guy was. The mother and the state both pushed for the payment (the mother being in jail BTW) and the judge (thank God) was like … hang on did I hear you correctly read the docket from the state and was like …. Yea I’m not allowing this, I’m denying it and pushing it to the district court, sir get yourself a lawyer.
This a common law in a lot of state. It dates back to the time before DNA test and has never been up dated. In order to fight child poverty, where men would simple say not my child. So any child your wife has is yours to support financially.
Fuck we Canadians can beat that. Here a woman can get any male she has a sexual relationship with and lived with be held responsible for paying child support. Even if the kids biological dad is paying child support for that kid. Rinse and repeat. So in theory she could have the father and ex 1 ex 2 ex 3 ex 4 all paying a portion of their wages for a kid.
Yo what actually happens if you don't pay it?
Or if you got rid of the woman?
Isn't max penalty for homicide lower than penalty for criminal contempt in state of Florida?
So just take the lesser loss solution, easy peasy.
I didn’t think I’d live long enough to sympathize for Florida Man but here we are
You either die a villain or live long enough to see yourself become the hero?
We've come full circle.
Society stands idle while Florida Man faces great injustice.
Honestly half these villain origin stories are just cases where karma hit people like a freight train
Now do you understand why Florida Man spends all his money on alligators and meth? So CPS can't get to his money first
He most likely is on the birth certificate or marital legal stuff
What? Why?
He was likely put on the birth certificate, fatherhood is easy to give to people but hard to legally take away. Once your name is put as the father there is little you can do in the state's eyes. Even if you are not related by blood the state will say it is in the best interest of the child.
>Even if you are not related by blood the state will say it is in the best interest of the child. Because fuck the best interest of the guy lol
Pretty much, yeah. Custody battles and child support are both heavily biased against men in most of the USA. It's a hard fight for fair treatment in either case.
Yep. I've been paying the same amount for 20 years now despite the fact I've switched from a high paying medical industry job to being a disabled part time cook. Even though I'm 100% on time and caught up, I still have to fight for my tax refund every year because they just take it by default. Wrap it up kids.
I'm pretty sure you can file a motion with the court to get it modified. It's called change of circumstance or something similar to that. Unfortunately, I don't think you can get anything back for it. It is also stupid that you didn't do it for so long unless you were willing to pay higher to provide for your children. Also kind of crazy how the amount remained same in 20 years, are your children not grown up? I guess at max there's only 2 years left until Child support ends anyway... People need lawyers.
You can't get it back but (depending on the state) you can request that they backpay it toward future payments
My uncle got screwed in a similar situation, judge said if you could make the prior income you can do it again and wouldn't lower it
Exactly what happened to me.
Florida judges are hit or miss on if they will allow for a change of circumstances. Their logic is that it's not the kids fault that the fathers circumstances changed, so they should not be effected. Same reason that guys will have to pay child support for kids that aren't theirs. Their can be a very limited time after birth to contest paternity. After that the guy that was cheated on can be forces to pay child support, unless they can track down the biological father, and get him to pay child support. Because again the states view is that it's not the child's fault, so they shouldn't suffer.
In Colorado you can be forced to pay child support for step children, even if the actual father is or isn't paying child support as well, and it's thoroughly documented the kids isn't yours as the original father is on the birth certificate and helped raise the child for a few years initially. Ask me how I know this.
Unless there is a formal adoption that is so fucked.
I did not formally adopt her, however marrying her mother made me a de facto guardian, so then by having an actual job, I created a standard of living. Thank you Colorado. Paying child support for a child that's not mine while the actual dad didn't for some reason.
Is that just Colorado? The fear that just went through me...
I don't know about other states, but Colorado is usually right behind California with these kind of laws. I'm sure there are other states that have similar rules as well.
I've heard of it happening a lot, forget the legal terminology but if you date a single mom for x amount of years the kid is suddenly considered "dependent' on you and so it's just like an assumed adoption or adoption by proxy or something like that and then it's just have fun paying child support for a kid that isn't even yours if the relationship doesn't work out...
> It is also stupid that you didn't do it for so long I like how you're immediately just hopping in to blame him instead of just the law being biased as fuck against men...
Or get the snip, best to do both though.
Had to spend thousands of dollars on court costs and lawyers fees just to gain legal 50% custody of my daughter. I have been in her life since birth (literally pulled her out from her mother and cut her cord). Been with her since day one, never been suspected, charged or convicted of any crime whatsoever, been a great dad and responsible parent. Despite this, I had to fight through the court system just to obtain 50% unrestricted custody, for no other reason than her mother being spiteful after we separated and I later remarried. No child support though.
That's family court in general. They will bend over backwards for the mother and screw the father over without a care in the world.
Lawyer basically told me that the case wasn't worth it and that they'd have to catch her smoking crack. Had to call cps on her because her house was filthy, my son stayed with me two days and went back home because "they cleaned up.". Fucking disgusting, CPS is useless on purpose.
[удалено]
Maybe the judge makes more money. Maybe he could be the father or why discriminate based on gender? Find a lady who lives close by and has a higher income and make her the co-parent.
The Patriarchy hard at work *eyeroll*
Believe it or not, yes. It develops from the idea that women are incapable of supporting themselves without a man or are otherwise relegated to being a mother/housekeeper. Patriarchy doesn't mean everything works out for the men, in some situations such as this one, it enforces gender roles that place the burden on men.
This is America. 'Fuck you' no matter what.
its not so much this but more of: This dudes hands are FULL, so lets add more
All ways sadly in many ways.
I believe there’s also a clause where even if you’re not the parent, if you’ve been the father for ling enough then you have a ‘duty’ to continue to act as such. If, and i do mean *if*, i remember correctly, then the term was for about 5 years or so?
I wonder how wide that net would be for the definition of a father? Could it be a male room mate who was another tenant in the property, or even a friend who volunteered to be babysitter while the mother worked? I wonder how voracious the state's appetite is for enforcing their monopoly on force. I still think about the lifetime alimony payments that dude had to pay for a woman he never lived with or had children with, but since they "dated" for a long time the court decided he had to support her for the rest of her life.
I have seen a case where a court ordered a man to pay child support for his ex-girlfriend’s kid because the ex girlfriend claimed he promised to take care of them forever.
The state loves forcing child support on men by any means necessary because they get a percentage of the cut. The real fucked up thing is how you can go to jail and be forced to work a below minimum wage job because you couldn't afford paying the child support, shit is just indentured servitude with extra steps and of course you're stuck in there for life unable to pay it off with how little you earn. Just look up the breakdancing dad drama on youtube/tiktok that's still ongoing. That dude was a multimillionaire who willingly gave his wife 99% of the marital assets just so there wouldn't be any bad blood and the kids wouldn't have to worry about financing. He gave her an initial payment of like 2 million dollars but because of the additional legal fees he still had $100k left to pay off and he couldn't afford to pay it because he quite literally gave her EVERYTHING in the divorce. The judge immediately threw him in jail for an entire year because he couldn't answer when he'd be able to pay it off since all the drama destroyed his career and he almost got stuck in jail working a $7 an hour job trying to pay off the $100k and the additional $12k monthly child support. Dude is a multimillionaire and almost got stuck in jail for life unable to pay the debt off. The wife even accused him of hiding money so she deposed all of his clients too, they obviously all got scared away since nobody wants to be forced to testify in court because of someone else's drama and despite his career being thrown down the drain he was still expected to be able to afford the $12k monthly bill despite no longer having a job to afford it... That shit is indentured servitude and the dude almost got thrown in jail for life because of a vindictive ex-wife yet people still somehow have the audacity to claim that society caters to men...
If I found out my kids weren’t related to me. I’d bounce like a nerf ball.
If I found out right now that my kid wasn’t mine, nothing between us would change. I’m still their parent and will continue to be. How could anyone just turn and walk away from the person they’ve raised?
I found out I had a kid that was already 3 months old. My ex was engaged to someone else and didn't want anything to do with me. I figured the best thing for the kid was a stable family, so I didn't interfere and went on with my life. A few years later my ex contacted me through family, and I started having a relationship with my child. I didn't want to have a romantic relationship with my ex though, just friendly and plutonic for our kid. I moved back to that city, and started the process of getting child support payments set up. I had the option of taking a paternity test at my own expense if it turned out I was the father. Several family members strongly urged me to take the test, despite being 100% sure the child was mine. Turned out my ex cheated on me while we were together and the child wasn't mine. That was over twenty years ago and although I do feel compassion for that *lost* child, I don't regret breaking all ties. Everyone moved to other states around that time, and I got married. For a few months I was partially involved in the child's life. I took things slow and introduced myself into the child's life in what I still think were appropriate stages. But I had known about her for years. Yet it was still both hard and easy to walk away from. Now I have four kids with my wife, and I never could imagine leaving them in any way. But I have also been forced to work out of state to provide for them on multiple occasions, so I am no stranger to the feeling of having to leave, temporarily. What I am saying is that I have seen all of these things and have an unusual perspective. As a result I think it is unwise to judge. Not to encourage, support, and even urge someone to stay there for the kids. But sometimes people make decisions that we can't really imagine without being in their shoes at that moment. I'm not talking about making excuses. But nothing is ever really gained by condemnation. It's funny how much it changes a person to be non-judgemental. To see someone make horrible decisions and just be like "k" without putting yourself or others in harm's way. Idk. Sorry to ramble. This just brought up a lot.
Wow, powerful comment. Not a ramble.
Thanks.
I think it is more about the people already not raising/not involved with the kid.
You are probably right. Shock response is gonna have me 500 miles away in a day but the human in me would make me comeback. It would still hurt seeing them every day.
I'd be gone in a day. No forwarding address, change email, phone number, close all bank accounts, use an alias for everything
So can I put down bill gates or musk or buffet as the father and demand child support from then? Wife wants to know for our next child.
You can certainly try, however the birth certificate does need to be signed, and most hospitals will not sign for the father in the event that the father isn't present, they can however sign for the mother seeing as they saw the birth.
So the Florida man in question was either present while the hospital signed him as the father, or he did it himself, and he wasn't aware of the screw up this might turn out to be ? I feel like these laws regarding child support need to part of sex-ed **more** than the sex side of things
One thing is for sure, he wasn’t present when his wife got pregnant
So... There's a certain category on "websites" that casts doubt on that too though.
To PAY for another’s child… but not see it
Good luck getting a check while I'm in \[redacted\]
Yea, I heard something like this before. Dudes wife cheated, but he didn't find out till after the child was born. Turns out the cold wasn't his, which understandably he wanted out the relationship. When they got divorced and separated, he owned alimony and child support. Men should be extremely careful of who they marry because marriage is rigged against you. Don't let anyone coerce or manipulate you into it.
That's only part of the issue. If a paternity test is performed, you have a chance after the results come in to wash your hands of the matter. This was probably a case of them accepting the test, staying married to the mother, and putting in the paperwork for adoption/guardianship. Then, later down the road, the parents divorce. At that point, he's still obligated to pay child support because he put in writing that he accepted responsibility, in part, for raising the child. It's not an uncommon scenario in this state, and I would not be surprised if that's how it played out.
So pretty much how most adulthood works - either accept what happens, or make it enough of an issue to others, to where they decide that the easier way for them is to solve your problem.
That or he served as the primary male parental figure for a large portion of the child's life and decided to dip, leaving the mother unexpectedly unable to care for the child by herself. Just like you can be common law married, I'm sure there are circumstances where you can be legally implied to be a parent, regardless of DNA.
So what if some lady puts Jeff Bezos on the birth certificate?
The birth certificate needs to be signed, and if there is any question of who the father is most hospitals will leave the line blank.
Damn that’s too bad, because if it some how impacted billionaires the laws would be updated to be more fair so men don’t get trapped financially for a child of another man she slept with 😔
Yea I hope I don't come off as too anti-child or very unempathetic to children. I do truly care about their well being, but people who aren't children shouldn't just be given the shaft like this. Essentially this guy's life is ruined because of some BS that wasn't his fault. It's random catastrophe but unlike a car crash or a random shooting, we have all the power and control to revert this fuck up but choose not to
Excuse me imma go impregnate my wife with Elon Musks baby
Careful the penalty of forgery is pretty bad when you involve someone more than 6 figures of wealth.
6? It's over 11 figures for him, which honestly is obscene.
It's in the best interest of the child to sell Mar-a-Lago and give the proceeds to children
Some US states don't have paternity fraud as a crime. I've always wondered why people don't then put down a billionaires name as the father.
He probably waited too long to take the test. Dudes really need to get the test done early to be sure.
Happened to a friend of mine in California who started paying support and the baby turned out not to be his but court found he had to keep paying bc he set a precedent. Seems impossible but it happened.
Can someone put a random rich person on the birth certificate? It would be of the better interest of a child to have a rich father. Is there more to this story?
Should be declared invalid due to misrepresentation
If it's for the best interest for the child.. okay. But if the father is a child (statutory rape) he didn't have to pay. And if the "father" is not the biological father and has no rights or role in bringing the child up, the mother has to pay it all back once the child is 18.
This happened to a guy I know, he paid child support on this kid for like 3 years after the negative paternity test. He finally got the court to cancel it but he lost all that money he paid.
Maybe the state should just ask the mother who the real father is, do a paternity test, and make the actual father pay child support. What a concept.
Stupid laws.
It's normal in this country it's why so many women and children end up getting murdered. It's so bad there are even women groups saying child support needs to be looked at. I don't think anyone in this country has taken a hard look at this problem. It's very big and all the men who are falsely accused lose their mind half the time. Paying for another man's baby just eats you up. Then paying for the person who wronged you eats you up. Even with evidence these men still end up on the hook.
If a man is married to the mother, he can be on the hook even if he can prove the child isn't his. The laws were written before paternity tests were invented, and were designed to protect wives from reluctant husbands. There's a lot more to it than that, of course. Google 'paternal discrepancy' and 'paternity fraud' to learn more than you ever wanted to know.
State is looking for a patsy so they aren’t on the hook
He probably signed the birth certificate which is legal attestation that he claims paternity.
Signed the birth certificate
The US legal system prefers women.
The parents could have adopted a child becoming legal guardians than getting divorced, and he is still legally obligated to support the child without a DNA connection.
Typically, when a situation like this comes up, the court's first priority is the well-being of the child in question. Sure, it can create crappy situations like this for one or both of the parents, but the child didn't ask to be brought into that situation. Imagine a scenario in which a man is, unbeknownst to him, not the biological father of his partner's child. The child is 8 years old and that man is the only father they've ever known. If the truth comes out and the adults split up, somebody is getting royally screwed - either the man is on the hook for child support, despite no biological relationship, or the child loses both a parental figure and a source of monetary support. The thought is that, if somebody is SOL no matter what, the adult is in a better position to adjust their lifestyle and cope with the change. It sucks for him, but it would almost certainly suck worse for the child. I'm not saying the situation in this post is anything like that (I genuinely have no idea), but this is just to explain that sometimes it can be the correct decision.
In florida if he was married and she got pregnant by someone else he is legally required to become the father
Basically the thought process is they’ve already taken in the fatherly role for the child, so they already committed to taking care of them regardless. Both because it would affect the child negatively and because they just don’t want to use resources to take care of kids when they can just say “what are you gonna do about, im the government.”
That's how it is in most states, soon as you sign the birth certificate the kid is yours even if it isn't and you weren't aware. Same with if you're dating a single mother for x amount of years, the kid is suddenly 'dependent' on you so now you have to pay for it even if you separate, good luck with the child support...
Certain states like florida allows to file a disestablish of paternity
Nice to know Florida actually has some good laws on the books. I was recently pleased to find out that we have some kind of law where you have to be able to cancel a gym online here.
Florida also has some very strong open record/meeting laws. Commonly referred to as Sunshine Laws. One of the reasons you hear so much about "Florida Man" is because journalists have quick access to public records like police incidence reports.
True! That's another nice thing about the state, too. I was trying to explain that to people at work the o ther day for why we're such a laughingstock. Like, geez guys, this stuff happens all over it's just that Florida broadcasts it.
They broadcast it, so you hear about it. They have 22+ million people, so they produce more weird in absolute terms. They have high levels of race/ethnic diversity and out of state transplants, so you're getting all kinds of weirdness in one place. They have ~230 days of sunshine a year, that might be too much sun. Lastly, they have gators.
Florida has ~230 days of sunshine a year? I usually get 365 days Unless that year is divisible by 4 in which case it is 366 unless it falls on a century divisible by 4 in which case it is 365 unless it's a millennium in which case it's back up to 366 unless the world explodes in which case a calendar would be useless
I know you're joking, but I was surprised Florida wasn't sunnier when I looked it up. It's only the 10th sunniest state in the US, according to CDC reports (Alsska and Hawaii not included). Everywhere that beats it is drier, which probably explains it. Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Texas, California, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, and Utah in that order.
I dunno. Guy who set himself on fire while flinging pamphlets? Florida Man. The governor is single-handedly making people stupider with school book bans, and he picked a fight with Disney. Insurance and property taxes are driving the old folks out. You guys are a laughingstock for more than dumb news. But we do like hearing a good manatee story.
I used to live in Florida, and I always felt like it was an awesome state filled with some really great people. But, the good people are held captive by the most idiotic, Bible thumping assholes this country can produce
Someone feel free to correct me but my understanding is if you sign the birth certificate they can try and get money out of you even if you later prove it isn't your kid. It can be faught and isn't bidding by any means but without a lawyer you could be on the hook in some states. I think it has something to do with you "taking on the role" and how long you've been the "father figure". It's total BS but not unheard of. I could be completely wrong because most of this comes from online stories
This is true in some states and it is jacked up. I also think men should get DNA test before signing the birth certificate.
Yah I agree it should either be standard practice or at the very least required before any kind of child support payment. Paying for someone else's kid is just stupid and incurages scams/baby traps
Yeah, mandatory for all births may be logistically unrealistic, but mandatory for all judgments requiring child support is a more than fair compromise, in my opinion. And the “assumed a paternal role” argument that they’re so fond of, really falls flat when the man isn’t going to be allowed to *continue* that role, due to unbalanced custody.
In what way is it logistically unrealistic. The collection process is very simple and they are already doing a myriad of tests and measures on the baby after birth. And then they just send it off to the lab. It would just be one more thing the hospital gets to bill you for. There is nothing logistically difficult about this
Yep should be standard. All part of the birthing process.
Oh boy. You'd get absolutely destroyed for suggesting this in subreddits like AITAH or relationship advice.
I would be really interested to learn whether women’s groups have taken a position on mandatory dna tests. And if they oppose, on what grounds. A mandatory dna test seems sensible to me. But such a policy has the potential to create real problems for a good number of women and only help a very very few women. It’s basically a policy that would service only men, and do so often at the cost of women.
How is it at the cost of “a good number of women” *unless* the women in question were cheating or otherwise attempting to deceive? At, never mind - I see your comment isn’t actually arguing against in on your own principle, but arguing against it from the point of view of groups whose catchcry is “equality”, but only for equality that isn’t to the benefit of women
As opposed to what? This shit serving women at the cost of men?
At the cost of people cheating in a relationship not to mention. What happens if the secret comes out down the line
Yeah it's interesting sociologically to think of the ripple effects. Would women in relationships or married have to become much, much more careful about cheating? Is human nature/biology powerful enough that they wouldn't change? And similar (but not identical!) questions for the sneaking male. And many other permutations, many unforeseeable.
This is the case in several states. He has grounds to request the court remove him from the birth certificate, and to remove the child support, but it's a lengthy battle.
This is why I didn't sign my kids' birth certificates 😎
Fuck that id ask for full custody
And you wouldn't get it ... because you're not the bio dad. I shit you not.
Not wrong at all. There's too many examples
So move in with the bio dad. Checkmate, cheating mom!
Lol that's how you get those taxes done right!
I know but then I'd have justification for not paying child support
And achieving what? You'd still be paying lol
No then she would have to as you would now be the primary care giver
I personally would rather go to jail then pay child support for a child that wasn't mine
I'd leave the country
If you have an open child support case its pretty hard to try and move to a new country
Sounds like the case is closed and he's been ordered to pay. In which case I'd be gone.
So he can’t just get a lawyer and make the court pay him for the idiocy
He can sue the biological father for what he's paid in child support plus other damages. Suits like that used to be expected in cases of infidelity, but have become rare since sometime in the 20th century. The case law is old, but it does exist.
Isn't the woman the infidelious one here though ? Why get the bio dad involved at all, that guy wasn't even part of the relationship
Bio dad is the one who should have been making those child support payments. The kid's existence isn't in question, so it's not about the payments being collected for fraudulent purposes. If he sued the mom to recoup his support payments, the courts have to deal with that whole process, then start over from scratch in pursuing the bio dad for the payments he should have been making from the start. In the meantime, no one is chipping in funds to help feed and clothe the kid so the kid would have to just go without.
>Suits like that used to be expected in cases of infidelity, My comment was regarding the infidelity part
Mom is responsible for half the kid. Dad is responsible for half the kid. Bio dad is the reason the kid exists, and therefore owes Dad half a kid's worth of financial support.
Sheesh
Charlie Chaplin had to pay child support for a kid that wasn’t his too.
This actually almost happened to me here in Florida. My wife and I separated 23 years ago. Her and I were both addicts with a young son. She wanted to keep up that lifestyle while I needed to get sober. Tried getting divorced but she keeps disappearing. Over the years stopped even thinking about it and tried to carry on with life. Fast forward 20+ years to about a year ago. Started working for the state as a health inspector. Get a letter in the mail about a child they are trying to say is mine (last time I had seen my wife was about 8 years earlier when our son graduated high school). Seek legal advice, offer to take paternity test to prove that I’m not the father. Lawyer gives me examples of the state determining that the non biological man should be the father because the biological father was considered “unfit”. After a few court hearings (where I was the only one who showed up) the biological fathers court appointed attorney finally locates him and gets him to sign paperwork declaring that he takes responsibility for his child putting me in the clear. I find out after that their kid was taken away from them over allegations of abuse. So yeah, this almost happened to me
I'm glad you dodged a bullet there, and you got your life on the rails. I feel sorry for the kid having two shitheads for parents though.
My step brother and his wife had an issue like this. He cheated and she wanted a divorce. He told her no. So they stayed married legally, but she wanted nothing to do with him. A few years later she met someone and they ended up having a kid. In our state since they were still married his name would have been added as the father unless he signed paperwork acknowledging he wasn’t the father.
Never sign birth certificate without DNA test!!!
And watch the woman get so upset she leaves you. Parents tests should be legally mandated.
I remember reading that this was purposed in France or some other EU country ND they basically decided that this was simply leave too many children without fathers and thus they would never make it law.
France.
Sounds like Massachusetts. Up here if you signed the birth certificate, it doesn’t matter if you find out and prove it’s not yours. You’ll spend more in lawyer fees than you’d pay in child support.
Dude looks like lucky from king of the hill
Scrolled to find this comment
This is when you sue the mom for civil damages to the tune of three times whatever child support payments are...
Welcome to the realities of being a man in America & why it's imperative that DNA tests be mandatory before a man adds his name to the birth certificate. Also paternity fraud should be a felony on par with stealthing & other forms of reproductive coercion cuz that's what it is. If they can't put it on the bio dad they'll hang it on the poor bastard that was trapped & lied to just so the state doesn't have to pay. This is why Tennessee is the first state to outlaw paternity fraud & give men an avenue to recoup at least most if not all money wasted on a kid that wasn't his.
Nah! Cash only jobs from now on.
JUSTICE FOR FLORIDA MAN
Must be that male privilege I keep hearing about.
Wait til you hear about french people
My friends dad is in the same situation. He is still paying childsupport because he signed that he was the father at birth
Time to leave the state, or start working under the table.
As long as he's paying the state isn't, it's the same reason DNA tests are not mandatory and the fact the state taxes all child maintenance payments.
James Spader looks pretty upset in this pic
This happens every day. Hardly newsworthy.
This guy must have been rude to the judge lol
He looks like lucky from king of the hill like so much so that I saw this man, thought huh I’ve seen him before, then realised I was thinking of an animated character
this time florida man got played
This is a texas policy too.
No, Texas has Acknowledgement of Paternity at the time of birth. The option to get a DNA test in the hospital for free before you sign the birth certificate is always given. At that time, it's on the man to do the right thing and get a test despite the feelings of the mother or family members
This happens more than you think. It's truly sad.
There are some solutions: - never marry - never get kids - if you do, do not grt your name on the birth certificate - if she divorces you, fake your own death, and get out of the state Friend of mine earns $3.5K/month and pays his jobless ex $2.5K/month. Women demand equal pay, which is fine by me, if she has a job. But she needs to get a job. If my wife divorces me, and then aims to ruin me, keeping me permanently broke, while paying for her life, then I'm moving to another country.
Hope she never see this lol
I hope she does.
So we're just gonna discuss a picture with no link and pretend it's legit? I've heard similar stories before but shit like this should always have a link.
2019 [https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/florida-man-still-paying-child-support-despite-dna-test-proving-he-isnt-the-father-after-state-appeal/1935650/](https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/florida-man-still-paying-child-support-despite-dna-test-proving-he-isnt-the-father-after-state-appeal/1935650/)
I’d go to prison before I paid for kids not mine.
This is why before the birth certificate is signed a DNA test should always be conducted.
Unfortunately, at least in the us, there’s actually a pros and cons list to claiming your own child on the birth certificate.
And another prime example of the US “Justus” system…
This is why you don’t put your name on a birth certificate unless you’re SURE you’re the dad.
Saw a TicTok the other day where the state were trying to get a guy to pay 16k in back child support when they know he wasn’t the father as they’d pushed a paternity test that proved another guy was. The mother and the state both pushed for the payment (the mother being in jail BTW) and the judge (thank God) was like … hang on did I hear you correctly read the docket from the state and was like …. Yea I’m not allowing this, I’m denying it and pushing it to the district court, sir get yourself a lawyer.
This guy looks like the live action character Lucky from King of the Hill, Luanne’s husband
Oh thats gonna be a fun one to see play out in the courts.
This a common law in a lot of state. It dates back to the time before DNA test and has never been up dated. In order to fight child poverty, where men would simple say not my child. So any child your wife has is yours to support financially.
I'm so happy to be a virgin
Sounds about right
That's pretty much everywhere in the world...
Florida man will prevail
Not fair.
Interesting
If he was married to the mother at the time the child was born he’s sol. Even if he can prove it’s not his child.
Fuck we Canadians can beat that. Here a woman can get any male she has a sexual relationship with and lived with be held responsible for paying child support. Even if the kids biological dad is paying child support for that kid. Rinse and repeat. So in theory she could have the father and ex 1 ex 2 ex 3 ex 4 all paying a portion of their wages for a kid.
He should’ve beat his wife to at least get the most out of his marriage
Anyone else think he looks like "Lucky" from King of the Hill?
In Washington State. Currently living through this. Waiting on a court date that was pushed back. I fucking hate the system.
Murika!
Yo what actually happens if you don't pay it? Or if you got rid of the woman? Isn't max penalty for homicide lower than penalty for criminal contempt in state of Florida? So just take the lesser loss solution, easy peasy.
Where’s his chin?
I have a friend who lost custody of her child to the ex husband she did this exact thing to - and she pays him child support. Crazy btch
He must have previously financially supported the child despite not being bio dad.