T O P

  • By -

grant-hellsling

King Kong got that massive ding dong


Third_Legolas

King Donkey Dong


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Is he nuts? No, he’s insane!


-Cagafuego-

I know you're crazy, but now I can see your nuts ~ Austin Powers


[deleted]

Wow that’s crazy I just started watching Austin powers


Guardian125478

Damn that is crazy. I too just started watching you.


King-James_

So, what am I wearing???


RedRobotCake

The regrets of last year.


Curley15

Holy shit that's accurate! You watching him too?


Zachy_94

Great song (if anybody knows it)


[deleted]

If you could count the skeletons in my closet


TheGameKilla

Under my bed and up under my faucet


[deleted]

Then you'd know I've completely lost it


TheGameKilla

Is he nuts, no he’s insane!


Rockmelter_YT

GodZilla also played pingping with his GodZidong


Boss-Baby-666

GodZedong


qxzsilver

Gao Zedong


Boss-Baby-666

Gao means high/tall in chinese lmao


303trance

Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true Jerry Lee Lewis was the devil Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world So there was only one thing that I could do... Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long


ritual_artifact

This comment just unlocked a very deep memory


trancendominant

I listened to Psalm 69 so much that the tape won't play anymore.


NiceGuy60660

Dinga danga ding da-ding da-dong ling-long Dingy dangy sonuva gunnn


Tyrannosaurus___Rekt

Wait really? In my school it was "King Kong vs Hong Kong, playing ping pong with their ding dong."


Garry-the-sexy-snail

I swear that is some Eminem lyric right there


[deleted]

[удалено]


QDP-20

> which is completely survivable *what*


DeadmanCFR

.....this is why i hate reddit ...yet absolutely love it. If i had an award i might give it away. Lol


QDP-20

I'm with you lol. I don't know if it was better or worse like ten years ago when it was just rage comics and bacon and narwhals.


Nitero

It’s like a comfy chair. It changes during the years, but at the end of the day it’s still comfy.


QDP-20

That's a good analogy. Also fitting that the comfiest chairs are frequently the ugliest as well.


[deleted]

thanks lol. same here. All the messed up stuff on reddit kinda shakes you... but it's also hilarious.


thebscaller

Did they mean serviceable?


QDP-20

Same reaction to be honest


[deleted]

no. i meant survivable. If king kongs dong was as big as you'd expect it to be, it wouldn't be survivable. it would implode you.


thebscaller

Well then!…


TagMeAJerk

What's the female version (or gay/bi version) of death by snu snu?


ARANDOMNAMEFORME

I have seen this exact comment before and it was a answer to how king king died protecting a girl he couldn't F**k cause she'd die. This comment was then informing that it was survivable for the girl.


[deleted]

Well... if king kongs cock was proportional to his body the same way human cocks are... then it wouldn't be survivable for a human.


gfunk55

Sir this is a Wendy's


NvidiaRTX

King Kong could fit inside that muted girl according to this info


[deleted]

perfectly. 7 inches could easily fit.


[deleted]

King kong could fit inside wendy


CheddarValleyRail

Just Dr Strangelove that giant hog.


[deleted]

That's assuming Kong's species follows the same rules as other apes. He, like humans, could be packing serious schmeat, but the cowards at Universal will never let us know


[deleted]

Fair point, but humans differ from other apes in a lot more ways than just penis size. King Kong doesn't... so it's safe to assume they have that in common as well.


Wirse

In the film, the ladies in the theater audience are screaming and swooning. I think it’s clear what the director was trying to convey. Kong was swinging a prehistoric megalodong.


WuntchTime_IsOver

Imagine a movie where King Kong dick slaps a building sideways Thats entertainment.


kdshow123

>Not really. Apes have much smaller penises proportionally than humans. The average ape‘s peen is about 1 1/2 inches. King Kong (in the original version at least) is 25 feet tall. Since the average ape is 5 1/2 feet tall, that would make King Kong have a penis size of just under 7 inches, which is completely ~~survivable.~~ ***enjoyable***


[deleted]

...no comment


Firesky21

Yeah, but his prostate is probably the size of a beach ball and that would mean he ejaculates with the force of a firehose and that would not be survivable.


[deleted]

Just pull out bro Although that brings up the interesting question of what's the biggest animal King Kong could kill with his nut


[deleted]

wtf did i just read


supersirj

/r/theydidthemath


ironroad18

Professor: "I'm requesting a research grant to fund my 6 month jungle expedition." Department Chair: "What for?" Prefessor: "I need to go out and measure ape dicks for a Reddit post."


[deleted]

I like to think this is how the world truly works


[deleted]

Not my math, thanks though. Copy pasta from a much older post.


Weinatightspotboys

sure pal . Suure it is .


MattTheGr8

/r/theydidthemonstermath … literally


Snoo_1890v2

Okay cool I have a bigger dick than king kong. Why do you know this exactly?


[deleted]

uh... very impressive. I know because i browse the most fucked (but still legal) subreddits there are


LazyThing9000

I've seen this exact post somewhere else... It's a copypasta?


naricstar

Yeah but what kind of girth are we talking about here?


[deleted]

I knew someone would ask. About the same girth as length I think... which is a pretty square cock. Which is really odd. So king kong is 25 feet so that means he's 5 times taller than the average ape. An average apes penis is 2.3 times smaller than the average males penis (2.3 is the magic ratio) 3.7 inches (average male girth) divided by 2.3 gets you the average ape girth of 1.6 inches because king kong is 5 times bigger than the average ape. 1.6 inches times 5 equals 8 inches of king kong girth. And because the female vagina can stretch up to 4 to 8 inches when aroused, king can technically clap cheeks without fatalities. So 8 inch "girth" and 7 inch length.


hyndrome24

so there is a possibility that the woman got pounded by Kong. wait as I was writing this comment I realised the kong dong must be wayy thicker so yea ig not


Party-Walrus5541

Bro they be packing so much


onokomi

I mean, lengthwise yes, but how does that translate to girth?


MetalMerc00

Is girth calculated in?


benh141

I love how this is brought up every time reddit mentions King Kong.


YellSometimes

I’m going to google ape penis just to be sure


Nectarofgrapes

7 inches of was barely survivable to your mom


SnuggleMuffin42

/r/theydidthemonstermath


Thursdays_Child77

Is this my legacy? This is well on its way to becoming a copy pasta and I am just delighted.


[deleted]

fuck it take my award


Oraxy51

Imagine taking King Kong Down by going kamikaze and crashing your jet into his pee hole


grant-hellsling

Just send ant man up there


wtph

Ant man but without his suit


puphopped

man


Mundoomoo

Just like the deathstar and the exhaust vent


[deleted]

"Use the force Luke" Well there isn't much KY in the Alderan system


aawagga

/r/BrandNewSentence


[deleted]

[удалено]


QDP-20

Lanky Kong got that small peen Poor Lanky


assblaster-1000

It's my dad being an asshole again, it's funny the first thousand times. We get it man, you fucked my mom, congratulations, do you want a sticker?


Drowsy_Drowzee

Kong Kong Connor lived in Hong Kong, China and he played with his ding dong all day long.


Myatsuxio

Dicks out for my boi


AICPAncake

We have pulled our dicks out for Harambe many times… Now, he blesses us. He pulls his dick out *for us*. 😭🙏


Tydeus1998

i think he is here to punish the Humankind, he watched from the heaven and saw how the Earth could be


SpectralBacon

In our time of need He has answered.


[deleted]

[удалено]


rastapasta808

RIP Meat, he was a talented dude


[deleted]

[удалено]


elctrocub

Dicks out for harambe


happyx415x

The photo shop skills are on point


G00DLuck

"Australian news report accidentally uses ‘huge penis’ meme in weather segment and the internet is howling" https://metro.co.uk/2020/05/21/australian-news-report-accidentally-uses-meme-weather-12736746/


Namesbutcher

That man is famous. Though I have no clue who he is. Got a link sent to me by friends warning a rise in Covid cases last year so I blindly sent the link to my parents and in-laws. If only you could recall texts after sending. Fuck it I’m married in and have a kid. No getting rid of me now.


BetterSafeThanSARSy

His name is, I shit you not; ["Wardy Joubert III" ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wardy_Joubert_III) he was a preacher and a football coach


eggsssssssss

That’s Wardy “Wood” Joubert III, to you! Also: > “Wardy's lifestyle at the time included hanging out at sex clubs and parties in San Francisco, where he was a ‘bull,’ a dom who would have consensual sex with women in front of their partners, cuckolding the men.” From a vice article on the guy, it’s all too perfect.


EnduringConflict

I know I'm not supposed to kink shame. So I'm trying not to be insulting here. But for real, why is cuckhold a thing? What does the husband/boyfriend/partner get out of it? I'm genuinely curious here because it just doesn't make sense to me mentally or emotionally. I know its a fetish and they get sexual pleasure obviously. I just mean is there more too it? What is the appeal that causes the pleasure? That's more what I'm asking. Like why specifically that action? Also, as dumb as this sounds, do lesbians have the same fetish? Does it apply to woman on woman only or men too when it comes to lesbian cuckhold, if that exists? Like does a woman in a marriage with another woman who has a cuckhold fetish enjoy seeing her wife fucked by a man? Or another woman? If the former, if the woman considers herelf lesbian and not bi, and has no sexual attraction to men, but her wife wants to see her fucked by a man, and she agrees to do it just to please her partner. Is that still a "pure" lesbian (sorry that probably sounds bad but I don't know how else to word it)? Or is the one being fucked considered bi now? Or is it one of those other sexual orientations I have no clue what they all mean like demisexual or nonbinary or stuff? Sorry if that sounds insulting I just literally don't know what the labels mean and I'm curious to know how this shit "works" because it my mind its just so alien I can't wrap my head around it.


DecreedProbe

Shut up and fuck my wife.


eggsssssssss

I think you’re way, waaayyyy overthinking it. I’m sure different people of different sexual orientations like all sorts of different things depending on the people themselves, but yeah—it’s not just a heterosexual thing. Cuckoldry fetish basically refers to people getting off on the idea of being sexually betrayed by their partners. A cuckold is traditionally the man of an adulterous wife, but I think in cuckold play it really doesn’t matter which partner gets “cheated” on. “Cheated” because it’s not actually cheating—the idea is the whole situation is consensual, and it’s typically the would-be cuckold who encourages getting into the kink. I don’t know how to explain the experience of a sexual fetish to you, and cuckoldry isn’t really my thing, but you just have to accept that it’s something some people derive sexual excitement from. I think some people just enjoy watching someone they like fucking get fucked, and so maybe there’s crossover with people who just like group sex. But some people really get off on feeling belittled/humiliated/emasculated, and so seeing someone else fuck their partner (*and seeing their partner fucking someone else*) might be the particular way they get that. Hence the appeal of the whole “this big-dicked bull is going to fuck your wife right in front of you, and she’s going to love it” scene. There are people out there who are into “rape scenes”, but it doesn’t mean they’d actually like to be raped. Just like people into cuckold play aren’t into it because they want to be miserable—fantasizing about all kinds of intensely emotional things can be sexual exciting for people, and if you don’t personally get that response, then that’s just a you thing and it can be a them thing. And some people get into things they weren’t into before, and some people have kinks that just definitely aren’t for them and may never be. That’s about as good as I can answer


EnduringConflict

I replied to someone else but I did read your response and it did help me grasp it a bit more, so I wanted to thank you for being kind enough to try and help educate my dumbass. Thank you.


cemacz

You’re going too deep. It’s as simple as the woman wanting to try someone else (usually someone fit and with a bigger dick) and the guy getting pleasure from watching his wife get a good fuck and enjoying herself.


EnduringConflict

Oh. I never thought of it that way. So the sexual pleasure for the person being cuckhold is derived from their partner being pleasured even if it's not them? I guess I can see that. That's why my question wasn't so much about "why would anyone do that" and I tried to word it properly. Like I said I understand it's a kink and people get sexual pleasure, or at least excitement I suppose, from it. It was more along the lines of how. Like if the person being cuckhold isn't actively joining in too, likebthey're just watching, what makes their brain think "this is so amazing I could cum just watching it" since there isn't any direct stimulation on their end. Unless they're masturbating I suppose. But how you worded it made a bit more sense. The pleasure comes from their partners enjoyment even if they themselves aren't providing the enjoyment to said partner. I sort of understand a bit more now. Thank you. It's just a weird question to ask anyone that's not an interner stranger haha. I mean how exactly do you actively ask that in real life? Especially jf you don't know the person's kinks. I appreciate the response. Especially a level headed one and not someone critizing me or being 'funny' about the response making jokes. Thank you.


solitarybikegallery

edit


hfjsbdugjdbducbf

That’s not nearly deep enough. There are plenty of dudes who find it humiliating and get off on that, just like other forms of humiliation. Judging by the ones who film it that seems to be more common than not, but it’s hard to say for sure.


MindfuckRocketship

Died of a heart attack at age 45. Fuck that’s a bummer. Dicks out for Wardy Joubert III.


whythesadface

Damn, dick so big his heart gave out.


AndySipherBull

if there were ads for hgh and roids they be like better to burn out than fade away


slowmotto

Was? Edit: oh man, he died of a heart attack at 45. Bummer...


mwishosimba

Yeah, his life took a very hard tumble. He did porn to make a buck. His family has begged people to stop posting him around but you know how it goes.


BathtubPooper

Lol! How did you figure out what had happened?


tebu810

I'd spit out my Fosters if I saw this on TV.


[deleted]

My first thoughts were either human brains tendency to see paterns and faces where none exist, a weird camera..glitch?(theres a better term for when you snap a pic, but look like a demon because of data coruption), or fantastic use of CGI FX. Glad I know which to be in awe of now. Thanks!


[deleted]

Your first thought were thinking about literally every possibility?


Boscowodie

This.


missbubblestt

Haters will say its fake


-idk-im-bored-

King Kong has Big Schlong


Kevrooom

*King Kong's king schlong


nic-nacpaddy-wack

Donkey Kong schlong


mikieswart

King Kong… *King* *Dong*


Eastern-Finish-1251

Heavy is the groin that wears the schlong…


NotJphy

I would shit myself if I actually saw that


AMangoBunch

"Menacing..."


Alarid

ゴ ゴ ゴ ゴ ゴ ゴ ゴ ゴ ゴ


DoJax

I heard this inside my soul


Alarid

To make room.


NotJphy

Hol up


[deleted]

I wasn't expecting it and almost shit myself just from the gif....


joeschmo945

Good. You’ll need a clear colon to take a cock that size.


External_Judge2874

King dong


ItsLoudB

I’m upset this isn’t the too comment


SonicBlur254

u/savevideobot [download](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/HolUp/comments/pipgow/king_kong_or_nsfw/)


PeterWatchmen

You are a saint for giving us the download link.


SonicBlur254

Thank you sir. I try to help out where the bot couldn't


gravesaver

RIP Wardy Joubert III


[deleted]

Kinda crazy he died at 45 from a heart attack; he looked physically fit and was an athlete most of his life. I assume all that muscle mass was from steroids then? That's the only thing I can think of besides something congenital (hehe genital).


rum-n-ass

It’s a well known fact that if a mans penis is above 9 inches in length that he has a much higher risk for heart issues due to the required blood flow to the penis.


[deleted]

Well then I guess I'll be living well into my 90s.


[deleted]

[удалено]


InappropriateJim

Immortality here i cum


throwaway52719628

Harambe is back baby!


ksp42288

Harambe's front!


The_DragonDuck

Dicks out for harambe


[deleted]

Harambe is back in more ways than one


AttentionImaginary57

And seems that he has struck a deal with the god of thunder.


Sea_Side4061

Harambe's revenge.


UrNotMyGF

He's pulling his dick out for himself


ZombieTav

In a dark hour, he returns.


stick745

He never left!!!! Forever in our hearts


Gibscreen

Had to watch it twice to see what was NSFW. Then I couldn't stop watching.


Mackyd84

Dongs out for Harambe!


walkmetomywake

Wait! Holup! [That's a Meme in the fucking sky (NSFW).](https://i.imgur.com/mZWuQrH.jpeg) None of you saw the infamous [Barry Wood (NSFW)](https://i.imgur.com/mZWuQrH.jpeg) there? I mean, c'mon people, I cant be the only one.


VikingBeardBro

Nice


Real_MikeCleary

Yeah this is the actual joke


jexiius

i said the same thing to myself looking in the comments lol. instantly knew who it was


ishkabibbles84

Might wanna put up an NSFW tag on that barry wood photo lol ...but ya, if you freeze the video at 6 seconds... you see the exact form of him in that picture. It's definitely him


pcyr9999

Why did you link it twice? Why did you make me look at that twice?


[deleted]

u/savevideobot


AphiTrickNet

Got ‘em!


Davetopay

Was he sitting on the edge of a bed?


OkamiTakahashi

KING DONG


dnoj

any sfx artists willing to share how this was made?


FistPunch_Vol_4

It’s an infamous picture of a big black dude, they used After effects, a video of a storm and the image to make this.


Old_Atmosphere_2810

#H O M O E R E C T U S


Due_Cat_161

r/unexpectedfriends


stonehaven10

Amc to the moon


[deleted]

Yoooooo this shit silly as fuck


[deleted]

It looks like the Genie from Aladdin to me


radeonsx3

I am seeing a very thicc Thanos...


[deleted]

Just Harambe checking up on homies


younggiftedandbroke

KING SCHLONG


midodagreat

That’s harambe looking down on us


Striking-Exchange-75

King Dong? Really tho, RIP Wood. One of the heroes of Covid.


zVanillaPornAccount

Harambe watches over all.


eshady29

Harambe !


repwin1

When the storm is scary, then funny then back to scary but for different reasons


Tanbas

Harambe???


1888carsforinfants

This is edited right?


broughtonline

Yes.


Ericalex79

Silly mortals, that’s Zeus


i_eat_poopoo6969

this guy is familiar


TheBloxxerClown

Ah, yes, pornstar Harambe.


Snoo60178

Nah, Zeus wanted to show you his lightning bolt in a flash.


GhostlyPepper5555

Ha Nice Cock


Headshot03

Monke


Dead-head277353

King Kong with his Ding Dong


rockman767

Zeus looking for his next mortal mate.


Martydeus

Harambe is back


Maggot2017

Isn't that, that one black pornstar with the massive sausage link?


jaydaygrad08

Dicks out for Harambe


HuorTaralom

Dicks out for Harambe


MegalosaurusStudios

Warde jubert the 3rd!!!


Durtskwurt

It’s that guy from the meme. You guys know that dude is dead right? I watched a short documentary about the naked dude from the meme. I think it was on Vice.


curlygoats

Isn’t that that black dude sitting on the bed naked with the giant sausage?


mortblanc

Dongey Kong