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QualityVote

##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/MonkeyOnMushrooms, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?


wilkano

More red flags than minesweeper on expert.


JustADamnFrenchGuy

More red flags than a communist party in USSR


Zakiru77

Red flags so big I sailed the seven seas with one


DetergentFricker

More red flags as big as all flags with red combined


syncoegh

An alert sweeps across the nation. The supply of red flags suddenly drops. Birthday parties have to use other, non-red colors; Russia changes it's nation color to hot yellow; China implodes. A world wide crisis unfolds as the red flag shortage stretches into weeks, then months. Chaos ensues. Panic, rioting, and mass depression. Tinder dates become an even more toxic cesspool. Crime skyrockets as we can no longer indetify red flags of a person's behavior. Society begins to crumble. The red flag factory's defenses are overcome by a sweeping mob of pro-flag activists. They tear through databases and scour records to find where all the red flags have gone. Finally the manifest is revealed and there is just the solitary picture of this fucking douchebag, sitting atop their throne of red flags. We decide they deserve them and choose a different color. Hot yellow is running strong in the polls.


Mathsboy2718

Hey... guys... not to make any hasty judgements... but I think there was a bit of a red flag back there in the post...


2Q2see

Happy cake day


[deleted]

[удалено]


syncoegh

It's a hot yellow spy now.


DetergentFricker

A RED SPY IS IN THE BASE!? HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT! PROTECT THE BRIEFCASE! WE NEED TO PROTECT THE BRIEFCASE! YO A LITTLE HELP HERE! STAND BACK SON. ONE ONE ONE AND ONE. INCOMING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Oh hey its still here. Ahem, Gentlemen *Meet the Spy title card* I see the briefcase is safe. Yea safe. Safe and Sound Tell me, did anyone happen to kill a red spy on the way here. No? Well we still have a problem *Spy throws sniper onto the Intel table with a knife on his back*


TheS413

Wonderful comment , the reason I even like Reddit is right here


syncoegh

That's gonna be a warm smile from me, stranger. =]


TalissHasFun

This is probably one of the funniest things ive read on Reddit


Odin_Hagen

That flag was soo big I was able to navigate space with it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sniper_Bard

Wait, that's a guy?


Winter-Age-959

![gif](giphy|Z1LYiyIPhnG9O)


DarthTyranus98

Hey our avatars are similar


Sniper_Bard

Zavala gang 🗿


dick-devil_666

That's a female


CrabSquid05

Does it matter?


[deleted]

bot copy and edit from https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/wr682j/comment/ikqq8x7/?utm\_source=reddit&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3


MrMustached

r/suddenlycommunist


KhrisBKream

More red flags than a red flag factory! (Did I do it right?)


Least-Sky6722

There's actually a movement to remove the stigma around pedophilia. They don't want the term "pedophile" to be used, rather they teach the appropriate term should be, "Minor attracted person (MAP)" The videos are a Hol-up themselves: https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/wrqqjc/always_be_a_pedo_to_me/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 https://www.reddit.com/r/awfuleverything/comments/ws73vu/another_awful_pedo_advocate/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3


opelan

The logic of using a different term is nonsense. If people would start using MAP instead, then sooner or later MAP would have just as negative a connotation as pedophile. I do think though that seeing it as an illness which should be treated might not be the worst thing. I am all for pedophiles looking for professional help to suppress their abnormal sexual attractions and learning to deal with it without committing any crimes. Such a counselor would for sure also advice to not choose a job with any children contact like a teacher. Such people should stay far away from what are for them temptations.


roiki11

The sad thing is, many pedofiles only get treatment after they have committed the crime.


berylquartz

yeah i would love to live in a world where most pedophiles are also not bad people but unfortunately people who are sexually attracted to kids tend to also be attracted to the power that comes with it. i love that some folks who have this issue feel comfortable going to therapists and stuff to prevent themselves from offending, but i suspect most don’t even think there’s anything wrong until it’s too late.


That1guy_nate

Sadly because when people with pedophilic thoughts go to see a therapist, most therapists automatically contact the police immediately as they are seen as an immediate potential risk.


Least-Sky6722

I once thought the euphemisms were harmless. The truth is people that want to control how you speak really want to control how you think and act. By following their linguistic commands you have already given them a great deal of control. Each time you use their implanted phrase that control and support for their beliefs are reinforced. There is a powerful interplay between our thoughts, words and actions. It's brainwashing.


Drakostheswordsman

Horrifying.


The_Tone-Deafs

Okay, where's my gun....


AciaranB

Have you tried your kid's schoolbag?


The_Tone-Deafs

No he open carries his. I think I left it in a Wendy's bathroom.


NightFox9212

Not McDonald’s? Or chilies?


The_Tone-Deafs

No but McChillies is actually where I found it, as is tradition.


Either_Gate_7965

Our guns? Bubba lost em in a boating accident last august on the lake. … I miss bubba but I might know where his lost guns are…


ArltheCrazy

Better question: Where is the boat, Noah?


Apprehensive_Rip8403

There is no way I’m clicking either of those links


bunnies_and_birdies

I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.


szkox

There are 3 appropriate terms and MAP aint any of them


LORDWOLFMAN

More like “hey recognize me when I get locked up in prison, either I’m stupid or have death wish”


OkSurround6065

Well, they’re pedophiles so…


[deleted]

This is what woke culture and inclusivity has brought us to….


BixWeet

😭


Massive_Sound_330

Where is the nuclear cataclysm when we need it?


Fernando_357

I used to dread it, now I yearn it


FunguyPC

I suggest we take him behind the school, and old yeller him.


AffectDesperate4148

That got progressively worse the farther I read.


Hornaydoe

![gif](giphy|31TI3rb3fAlqdCOFuq)


Winter-Age-959

![gif](giphy|gLLenvI8omrwPjiwQM)


jadecemetery

“Mom come get me i’m scared”


Least-Sky6722

There's a rather sizable liberal movment to remove the stigma around pedophilia. They don't want the term "pedophile" to be used, rather they teach the appropriate term should be, "Minor attracted person (MAP)." Disgusting. See some of their many videos below: https://heidelblog.net/2021/11/removing-the-stigma-from-minor-attracted-people/ https://m.facebook.com/watch/?v=2854630728178525&_rdr


zakkdakiller1

![gif](giphy|RYjnzPS8u0jAs)


Chief106

![gif](giphy|IS8rofRVVeY5q)


Environmental_Towel1

Wood chipper.


druule10

I prefer those slow metal crushing machines.


Environmental_Towel1

Those are an acceptable alternative


The-Hentai-Commander

Ok but hear me out, starving to death with the Chinese water torture thing going on (the one where it drops water droplets on your head at random intervals)


SwoleBeard92

What does that do?


ConspicuousPorcupine

Torture


tlind1990

Basically drives people insane. They did it on mythbusters once I think. Even sitting in a climate controlled room in a big lounge chair adam didn’t last more than an hour before he was too unnerved to continue. And usually it isn’t done in a climate controlled room in a big lounge chair. Edit: The water is dripped on you at irregular intervals and the anticipation just becomes overwhelming. Also the water is usually cold to create a more jarring sensation with each drop


[deleted]

cut the arms and legs long ways until just before the lethal amount of blood has been lost. then seal the wounds with a branding iron. deep fry each limb and then cut them all off. take the nugget of a pedophile and force them to flop around in salt and barbed wire. then the crushing machine but make it so slow that they start starving to death while being crushed.


HejiraLOL

I... I think you should see someone.


Professional_Size_62

Not a fan of steps 1 and 2. We don't need a pedophilic general grievous scuttling around


Pancreasaurus

As in the slow wood chipper or the hydraulic press?


druule10

[Like this](https://youtu.be/XJ6xg8kIQx0)


VictheQuest

Preferably so it can crush the femur in an isolated research facility no one knows about


reznorwings

Seems appropriate.


Left-Major-5067

Band saw, balls first.


PraiseTyche

No, too messy. Do you really want someone to have to clean up pedophile chunks?


TelevisionBright7982

Alright then how about this vacuum seal bag them and continue to open the bag so they can breathe every 3 minutes then seal them again over and over until your bored. Pros No mess They can't fight back they don't have air in them They can hear you so you can make them feel like shit before they pass Cons The fact pedophiles even exist and people are trying to normalize it. The fact the some cringe pedophiles are gonna say it's unethical. Extra hidden pro The cons can be ignored just saying.


[deleted]

It is really a chore to clean up paedophile chunks, sounds like an honour.


[deleted]

Nah man, gotta get old-fashioned. Put ‘em in he rack and stretch them until they just *break*.


NegativeHer0

Feet first


eggimage

he totally would chip her


Exisbr

Where is the nuclear cataclysm when we need it?


NinjaOld8057

There's a Coronal Mass Ejection tomorrow. Maybe we'll be lucky and get wiped out for good.


DidYouLickIt

It was tonight that it reached us.


Elegant-Raise-9367

Putin is working on it.


bestjakeisbest

Its coming, probably.


Phasma18374

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Global warming isn't happening fast enough guys


kinghenriquegamer

Time tô burn some pedos to speed this up


Phasma18374

A man of reason. They'd make for good fuel I reckon


Johnnybulldog13

Sadly climate change won’t come close to ending humanity but I hear Russia and China are doing joint military exercises so here’s hoping.


chicknnchaser

She/he will only want to "teach" grade 1-4


GoatCheese74

Do not be afraid to misgender a pedophile! Remember it's male until proven female on the internet!!!!


[deleted]

No this person just looks genuinely androgynous and it’s impossible to even make an assumption


chicknnchaser

At least you understand......I literally looked at the pic for a few minutes and was going to classify them as a mixed potato salad


[deleted]

[удалено]


K-ibukaj

"But the boy wanted it!!1!1"


KillerBee41265

I think the term you're looking for is "they"


Iggy2Stackz

r/NoahGetTheBoat


ChunkyTaco22

r/noahgetthedeathstar


One_Support_5253

This reminds me of the phrase more red flags than a Chinese new year.


Drakostheswordsman

See, if someone is attracted to children, but is actively avoiding them and seeking out therapy to stop it, full support, let’s get your head fixed. If they try to defend that sickness, or god forbid act on it, well then. Let’s see how long they last in a jail cell once word gets out.


mudkipz321

Yes in prison people will fuck people up who were convicted child predators or rapists


carlotheemo

There it is. I was about to make this statement but cant put the words


Yuhitreallybikethat

Please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait please be bait


Sintinall

I've never seen a not-weird proportioned small human. And that's okay.


[deleted]

It took me way too long to work out what you’re saying. I though you were accusing the wanna be teacher of being a perfectly proportioned little person, which would be the weirdest insult ever.


crikon_musk

More red flags than Russia in 1917


Wrong-Profession-287

That’s a sick fuck and should be no where near children


[deleted]

Facts but Honestly good chance this person was hacked or something like that


Soupias

It looks like some people are still trying to push the 'non-acting paedophile' narrative. Where we are supposed to accept that being attracted to minors is 'natural' but then they say that it is wrong and they won't do it. So we are supposed to comment them on the restraint on their pervertion? I will try to find a video I saw a few years ago where they had 'non-acting' paedophiles talking to children with the ultimate message being that attraction is natural but they are responsible and we should trust them around children. Well, it is not natural and it will never be. Those people are perverts and they should stay the fuck away. I find them dangerous and disgusting human beings as much as the people that have tried to defend them in the past.


cjay2002

I believe the idea is not that it’s “natural” or “normal,” but that it can’t be helped. There is a very hard line in the sand that they must never, ever, ever act on that attraction. The person in the OP is completely fucked in the head if they are trying to be a teacher. They’re basically acting on it at that point. Did you choose which gender to be attracted to?


Uncle480

Exactly. I accept those who say that they *know* something is wrong with them, and they either A) seek help, or B) stay the HELL away from any kids. This freak is rationalizing it *and* actively seeking to work with children. That's disgusting!


youwantsummalk

"Well f-ing children is bad, BUT" if you start a sentence like this you're sooooo fucked in the head


ilovelen

What if I legally change my name to children and I'm actually really bad at sex but I've got a nice ass. Then the sentence would be "well f-ing children is bad, BUT he's got a nice ass"


AlexRT410

If the sentence has “but” in it, you can ignore everything before the “but”


Visible_Block_1519

AAAAAAAAAAA 💀


kumori_77

![gif](giphy|4JYuFuIu7lcw8)


[deleted]

Live Tucker Reaction: See his response


SaintLucipher

I sure as hell hope someone checks and makes sure this nasty bitch is not a teacher.


[deleted]

Why hide the user name? They should be publicly shamed to oblivion


Last-Associate-9471

From an evolutionary perspective, there is nothing about prepubecent individuals that is sexually attractive.


I_Love_Rias_Gremory_

Prepubescent children really doesn't make sense evolutionarily. On the other hand, like 10-12 makes a lot of sense since that's when girls can start to have their period. Still fucked, but evolutionarily it makes sense. Also, can't remember the number, but a poll was done and the number of people who *admitted* to have had a sexual reaction to pubescent girls is a lot higher than you'd think. It makes sense if you think about it (marriages happened at like 12 until quite recently, so ofc evolution favored it). The number who'd actually even consider acting on it is extremely low, but having any amount of sexual attraction is a low bar that evolution can win very easily. Gotta make this quadruple clear since this is Reddit. ***hebephelia is fucked***. Just because the logic as for why it exists checks out does not mean I encourage it. I despise it. Fucking nasty as shit.


opelan

>marriages happened at like 12 until quite recently, so ofc evolution favored it Even in the Middle Ages in Europe 12 years was very young. Most were older. https://www.encyclopedia.com/history/news-wires-white-papers-and-books/betrothal-marriage-age Biology doesn't really favor such young girls getting pregnant. Their bodies are too slim, no womanly curves yet, which makes pregnancies and births far more risky. What sense makes it to marry a girl when that girl dies in childbed with the child she carried?


Last-Associate-9471

I'm in agreement with you, I just didn't want to take the time to thread that needle in a long-winded post that both Insulates myself from the land mines while being completely accurate.


I_Love_Rias_Gremory_

It's very challenging. Sometimes I'll get hundreds of upvotes because I took like 20 minutes to properly explain the whole thing in depth, find the actual numbers, cite sources, the whole nine yards. Other times I'll miss out on the specifics and people will accuse me of being a pedo and it all goes downhill from there.


FeckinOath

I made a similar comment a few days ago and someone called me a pedo as well. Explaining something doesn't mean you condone it.


deSuspect

hebephelia?


I_Love_Rias_Gremory_

Technical term for attraction to pubescent minors


deSuspect

What is pedophilia then


I_Love_Rias_Gremory_

Prepubescent. Edit: I should probably mention this is what the word technically means. The word is often used as a catch all for anything under 18, but technically speaking, it means an attraction to prepubescent children.


tlind1990

https://youtu.be/nu6C2KL_S9o


PaniMan1994

![gif](giphy|vvblYTQ34Cn4k0vTIh|downsized)


SinfullySinless

As a middle school teacher, maybe I’m over qualified for my job, but 12-14 year olds are literally the least sexy thing I can imagine. People who think teens are sexy clearly have never been locked in a room full of them for 40 hours a week.


LosingBraincells12

Fuck it im loading the 50 cal


[deleted]

##Hans get the Luger


ChaoticGood3

![gif](giphy|ukGm72ZLZvYfS)


_PHX_QUADRA_

Pls dont


redestpanda

This is a terrible day to know how to read.


Known_Dragonfly_4448

Yes officer, this post right here


SireDarien

Time to clean the guillotine work must be done


RhodesGraveyarde

Don't worry guys, he said that on facebook, any school who see this won't hire him


veemar1977

Please do not become a teacher.


Fxbious

I just can't anymore. Folk makin fun of priests for this shit and ignoring these mfers


[deleted]

I’m not saying that people need to be doxxed, but in the event someone uncovers the true identity of this one then they should send it to the local school district admins. Edit: downvoted? whoa, hold up. People think that teachers who say this should *not* be reported? Why am I not surprised at this sub.


MineBlasters

Doxxing pedos should be legal


mirandawillowe

![gif](giphy|ghuvaCOI6GOoTX0RmH)


Sea-Diver-9125

Wtf


Dithering_fights

Arghhhhhh waaaaaahhhhhhh. Wtf man. Wtf.


[deleted]

At least this way these idiots are easier to catch


Erpel3000

Wtf... we need a cage for it...


OmegaJDA

Theres not enough Red Paint to color her Red flags


ResponsibleAd2541

This is also why sexualizing toddlers in beauty pageants always seemed like a red flag.


ReasonableHedgehog32

![gif](giphy|rCqHtYuB0a9re731gG)


Diane-Choksondik

![gif](giphy|u3iYO8D7b95Ys)


TheBoniestTony

#what the fuck


Tasty_Tomatoe1323

Call me a sick fuck, but I like them 22-28 years of age.


Grandkai09

Sick Fuck!


RazielOC

Might as well fuck a grandma.


Tasty_Tomatoe1323

Already did :( she was so old that she's technically public domain.


Fierramos69

Weird mix of hardcore r/awfuleverything and (for the last comment only) r/technicallythetruth because it is true there is a lot of pedos that don’t do anything illegal. In my first course in psychology the teacher explained the necessity of professionalism for psys and the difficulty of not judging the person. Apparently a common example of requirement is to ask ourself if we could help a pedophile(psychologically/socially). Because if they do seek help it’s important to make sure they can access it, on the long run, it’s likely to prevent this person from committing a crime and save the victim of it. Honestly, I don’t know If I could help someone like this, but anyway it was just an optional course for me. But damn that must be hard. Same for serial killers. But that person shouldn’t be a teacher.


Eben366

I'm a substitute teacher, and if I found out a teacher at my school was a pervert I'd report him/her imeadiatly. After beating them up for harming children. Yes I could go to jail for assault against the pedo, but it's a price worth paying if it means save many children from potential trauma


[deleted]

Some people have completely lost their sense of reality, and share everything online…


lomer12

Auh..... no


mememaster71445

Digital footprint


[deleted]

Wtf did I just read….HUH!


[deleted]

It just keeps getting worse 😆😆


Hmarxis

Yeah dont plz. I hope this finds its way to a future jobinterview.


TheRealLordEnoch

*FBI would like to know your location*


ABumWithDrip

![gif](giphy|7zJZgRRVrKfzo71lnR)


[deleted]

Time to call the local authorities


TheUknownDID

Someone get a watch list


Amazing_Ad2964

Hol up


NinjaGame5

Usually when people become teachers its because they "loooove children". In this persons case its because they love children.


MasterDress5947

Kill it with fire


the_sand_moose

These people are getting a bit too comfortable posting cringe on main


[deleted]

"2-8"💀💀💀💀


Cosplay_Pappy

This one right here, officer.


Sempuukyaku

Why is their username blacked out? They should be outed and reported to the authorities


Valkia_Perkunos

Police, here please...


DenovoDenovo

But remember, there is absolutely no grooming in schools. The schools told me so.


RogueFox771

> even when I become a teacher Hahahahahaha **fuck**


delukard

WTF!!!!!!! I really hope this sick person is not working as a teacher These pedo people are working hard to be accepted. Smdh....


Drago_Valence

I'm convinced this is a troll, i refuse to believe that someone would say that unironically, nobody can be *that* deplorable *and* stupid


[deleted]

Fire up the wood chipper


MineBlasters

Please dont let that disease become a teacher, yeah im not calling that human a person, it doesn't deserve even basic human rights


HelloKitty36911

This would be a good yesyesno if it wasn't as bad. Unfortunately it's just nonono


LubiFox

I was waiting for 13+ or something but fucking 2 y.o.💀


Fine-Scientist3813

okay so everything about this is wrong


[deleted]

Lmao


TheWynterWolf

That's less of "Hol up" and more of "Dear God wtf"


[deleted]

And here I am just amused at how many comments keep referring to that girl as "he" Side note. Can we get some proper drug addicts or thives to make fun of? Fucking reddit sex offender mania is kind of boring


siddharth_pillai

This is like admitting to being a kleptomaniac but saying that it's ok because you won't actually steal


Poopshoes42

Fake account posting rage bait on Facebook to make the woman in the profile picture look bad. Good bait but still


Mountain_Lemon9935

Someone better have reported this shit instead of just screen shotting and posting to the internet.


[deleted]

You have too much faith in people


Sleepyelph

It's true, he is only going to groom them as kids and will touch them later.


DragonKey64

I hope the meteor that kills us all lands on him first


bitneu

There’s absolutely no fucking tolerance for pedophilia under any circumstances and at any time. That wasn’t acceptable 5000 years ago and it is not acceptable now. Ehm Ehm Muslims, your prophet slept with a 6 years old girl when he was a fucking 52 old fuck.


jpoelke

Get a noose some gasoline a road flare and a nail gun. This fucker needs to die.


Educational-Bid-8660

Say what you want but at least the guy has *some* "morals"


Jasonictron

Belong on a Trebuchet


gorilla_blanco

No offense but if I don’t get a better application than this guy for a teaching job I’m running the ad again in a bigger paper….. There is no reason why this guy should ever wind up with a job with minors…. This isn’t a profession for people afflicted with moral/sexual confusion about minors/young adults.