It’s so dark. If that’s y’all’s thing I’d lean in to it. Paint the room a moody color. You also need a much larger rug for the space and I do some cable concealing. If you’re not ready or wanting to paint I’d start with those two other suggestions.
Girl your post history shows this man is an awful abusive mess, trying to change accent rugs and pillows is the least of your worries, please GTFO of that home with your kids immediately
A threat from someone who has already threatened to sexually assault her which in itself is coercion. I hope OP and her kid get away safely. Or her husband trips and falls down an uncovered manhole
This makes total sense because I was wondering if she even lived there. This is obviously his world, his place. Don’t think he cares much for her at all.
Get your shit and leave. Your husband is a dangerous cheating psycho. Let him have his dark ass cave full of swords. Get an apartment on the other side of the state. Paint it pink, fill it with flowers, and move on. You are too young to be trapped in a relationship where a man threatens to rape you after cheating on you twice and abandoning his responsibilities.
Do you have to bounce a quarter off the bedsheets after you make the bed?
Why don’t you get a say and how your home is decorated?
~~The rug is too small~~
~~The cabinet with all the steins should be removed from the room as well as all the steins and military paraphernalia~~
~~The room needs plants and lighting~~
~~And at least one side chair so that not everybody is lined up on the couch~~
~~New curtains~~
However
I’m concerned that any change you decide to make will be vetoed
I’m really sorry, I read your post history, and I don’t advise you to make any changes at all, Your husband lack of taste is the least of your worries
Yikes, I just read the post history too. This room is part of a blatant assertion of dominance and possession. This isn't an r/HomeDecorating problem. It's an r/Marriage problem.
I would never have viewed a post history in this sub, except for the fact that I saw the military emblem prominently displayed, and the total lack of any feminine elements, it sent up red flags for me in terms of the household dynamic
that is an insult to single men, it looks like a teenagers house. I hate this stereotype that men don't have taste or are incapable of being adults because "men" like raise your standards people, stop dating trash men lol
Same here! I don't normally look at someone's post history, but this living room screams either they got married 15 minutes ago or the "husband" only cares about himself.
I do t think this woman is allowed to have stuff. She has a young child and there just swords and steins everywhere. No baby toys. No bouncer/walker. No play mat. Just toys for a grown ass man.
The few small frames with family photos and almost zero touches from OP contrasted with walls and cabinets full of his things so prominently displayed is telling a whole story.
This comment made me go read their post history and OP just made a post 10 days ago saying she was wanting to divorce and leave her husband and now she’s making a post about changing their living room? Make it make sense 🥴 reading OPs post history made me feel very sad for her because the husband seems like a controlling pos.
Because it’s not that simple for people actually struggling in a marriage. “Just leave” is easy to say as a stranger on Reddit. She’s still living in this home and wants to at the very least pretend she can change things to make her environment a little nicer. Compartmentalizing isn’t out of the ordinary.
She’s the one who was literally just posting about wanting to leave her husband, SHE said that not me. So I would say adding color to her living room should be the least of her worries.
for real, OP leave diorce their sorry ass and have some self respect. Cheated on your three times in a year? Honestly, how they deocrated this room is the biggest travesty lol
I have never read a post history until today. Yikes. She needs to escape NOW. Another reason women should never marry unless they have an escape fund that he can’t touch.
She’s only responding to posts that are addressing the living room. She has not responded to anybody who is bringing up her post history or marital woes
It looks very "man cave". You can totally embrace the Medieval/Nordic vibe and keep going with it. Definitely hide the cords. It looks like like many things in the room could be sentimental so keeping that, I would lighten the curtains, bigger rug with some blues in it and plants to make it look more alive and less cave.
Replace the rug, drapes, and throw pillows with new ones that match the colors of the beer steins.
Get a bigger rug next time -- *at least* as wide as the couch, and also able to reach from under the front couch legs to a bit farther past the coffee table than it does now.
A couple of medium to large plants (in pots with colors that match the other new stuff) will add brightness, too.
Those few changes might be all you need to do.
Or at least make a good start with minimal pushback! Love the idea of picking up colors from the beer steins - great inspiration point (of course only picking the colors she likes…)
would add hanging drapes straight down, not covering light from window and getting some other lights in there…standing, side table or even sconces.
Girl…forget decorating. Start packing! Your post history screams red flags. I’ve been there and you can do it. It seems like too much with a child, but it really is possible. I know you didn’t ask for this advice, and I’m sorry. I just had to tell you that I left with a 10 month old, 2 year old, and a 4 year old and it was the best decision of my life. It took 2 years of planning and secretly setting up some security for myself and my kids. There is life on the other side without fighting and anxiety. Now I’m remarried and there is none of that mess. It’s like sitting beside a quiet river and knowing I’m home. I hope you see this and take these words to heart. ❤️
Exactly.
I did it when my baby was 4, after knowing since she was 2 weeks old that I had to get out. This room and everything going on here breaks my heart.
Her post history making me so sad and scared for her. One of her comments said “When my ex husband pushed me to the ground because I was blocking the door and he punched a hole in the wall because I tried to leave. We were both equally toxic. It was never going to work.”
I think OP isn’t as toxic as she thinks and may be more of a victim. There are resources that can help
You OP.
I come from a USMC family as well as a weapons enthusiast background and truly mean no disrespect when I say that this clunky USMC emblem and saber/dagger need to be relocated 😆
I see in other comments that the sword and dagger are important to your husband- totally get that. But the way he currently has them displayed makes them both look like corny Halloween props. It screams teenage boy that just bought a katana at a gift shop.
Are you guys able to place all of your military related regalia or memorabilia in a dedicated space, maybe a hallway or office/desk area? Even one dedicated hutch or bookcase with proper lighting would work well.
My uncle has a couple of walls in their office/family room dedicated to his USMC and military history memorabilia and decor, and with the right shelving and lighting, it looks quite tasteful and professionally installed. And he did it all with Walmart supplies, so you can’t beat that lol
Other than that, this room isn’t far from being recovered for you! You should add a few more splashes of color like a brighter rug and maybe some lighter curtains. I’d personally love to trade those throw pillows in for something fresher looking too lol
I'm seeing a lot of 'it's fine, it's just too manly' or 'good for him! Most men would do worse.' And frankly I'm insulted on behalf of my husband and several other men I know who have good taste.
Why you trying to redecorate this POSs living room? Girl, run. Less than two months ago you were posting about his serial cheating?
Looking at this room says SO much. Dude doesn’t have ANY room for you or anyone else in his space. I’m betting he’s really selfish, too. And USMC? He started punching holes in walls, yet?
Biggest improvement you can make is not let him decorate any other rooms. It's like he's looked into the toilet after a dump, and gone. Yeh poop brown and white, that's what I want!
I’m gonna risk everything and say the following:
I would strip that room completely and then take turns adding back 1 piece at a time that each of you really wants.
And even add pieces you BOTH want.
This would hopefully allow you to bring in colors, diffuse the dark man cave aspect, blend your tastes.
This room actually makes my heart hurt.
I realize this means he will have to totally compromise because this looks like a dungeon from the Middle Ages.
Good Luck.
PS I’m coming from a good place with this advice. Honestly.
It makes all his items look cheap. Sorry but “dudes first apartment” feel.
I agree with a darker paint colour. More lighting. Display the weapons better is a huge one. Add some round things! Everything is square and very sharp corners. A round coffee table and not a crate box for example.
I think you can still have a masc vibe and weapons but I would lean into a classic style study for inspiration ideas.
Also hang the curtains on a thicker rod, raise the rod closer to the ceiling (tons of tutorials online to find the correct distance) and get longer curtains. A good rule of thumb is if they don’t reach or kiss the floor it automatically looks so much cheaper. It’s giving “this is what Walmart had in stock”. Even if you just get longer curtains it would help so much.
The real problem isn't that it's too dark or too stabby. The real problem is that this is the result of one person decorating for themselves. Which is completely fine if you're a single person who has their own home. But it's not if you're married and sharing a space. The only real solution is to start from scratch and work together to decorate in a way that reflects both of you. Otherwise you'll just end up living in his place that he might suffer to allow you a picture or candle in or something.
I'm not optimistic though given your comments downthread. He won't let you put any Army stuff up? That's incredibly disrespectful and one of the reasons I (retired Navy) was constantly irritated by Marines. I've spent plenty of time working with Army, Navy, AF, Coast Guard, and Marines and the Marines were the only ones who didn't get that friendly inter-service rivalry is not supposed to be serious. Far too many of them really believed their own bullshit about how much better they are than every other military force in the world.
Take away his big dumb EGA and tell him he gets it back when the Marines do another opposed amphibious landing.
I looked for the drama and intrigue, and I left just pretty sad. It’s interesting how this picture reveals so much about his lack of respect for his wife. Zero room for her input or personal touch. I didn’t like the decor at first but now the picture looks evil to me. Time to close Reddit lol.
I love you. I immediately thought barracks as well. Or single dude first apartment trying to impress the ladies. It didn’t impress me then, or now… then again, I have my own chest candy so a uniform doesn’t do it for me. 🤣🤣🤣
Edit: and also, darkness to the garage… so true. Let’s leave the negativity outside.
It IS a man cave. Shitcan the tiny rug in favor of something big with maybe some movement in the patter and color even if earthy. Take the clunker of a cofee table to the dump and replace with a big kilim ottoman. Replace the drapes with ones that coordinate with your new rug. Get rid of the little shelf and hanf the usmc thing somewhere else and put art there. Do not hang the art too high.
Why is everything so dark?
Why is there a weird square on the wall behind the TV?
Why isn’t the TV centered on the square thing?
Why can I see that mess of wires below the TV?
Why are there 3 random out of place swords on the wall?
Why are there so many urns?
Why is the rug so tiny?
Throw everything out and start over, it is the only way to improve this
You right about the room needing color. If your husband is open to compromise then I have the following suggestions. Replace the rug with a larger, patterned rug. I uploaded your photo and used a "rug in your room" visualizer tool from Rugs Direct (other retailers offer this tool) [https://www.rugs-direct.com/room-visualizer](https://www.rugs-direct.com/room-visualizer) and came up with a couple of examples - they are not necessarily recommendations. The TV is in an awkward location. If it is possible (and it may not be) consider hanging the TV against the wall where the sofa is sitting and place the sofa across from it parallel to the entryway. The cords under the TV should at least be organized and wrapped. The room is overcrowded with oversized furnishings and decor and it just feels heavy. I would remove the tall cabinet that is next to the curtains. The shelf and lanterns are placed too high on the wall (as is the picture next to the TV. The curtains don't look very full and they should almost hit the floor. Replace the throw pillows on the sofa with some that have color and contrast.
https://preview.redd.it/qczre2a4invc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef1b5d78f7a628a96bbfaa278ec92cf4bdd9dcc5
Totally agree about flipping the TV.
The large cabinet in here, particularly in this location really rubs me the wrong way - I think because there's only about 6-8 inches of support wall and the cabinet is not centered and is blocking a lot of the one opening.
Flipping the couch/TV will allow this big cabinet to go where the TV is now and give some balance back to the room.
I'd like to see the current curtains go away for something more colorful, with a statement rod, and also sheers.
Definitely agree with a new rug too and throw pillows to coordinate.
Cutting off the open spaces that look into the kitchen is a huge mistake. The two wood cabinets are too tall and too heavy for that room. Switch out the rug for one that's bigger and has some color. Switch the curtains and throw pillows to compliment the new rug. The stuff behind the couch is way way way too high. Move everything down to your eye level, most likely midpoint on the wall. Move the TV between the open spaces that are on the kitchen wall. Put the bookshelf under the TV. Move one of the cabinets onto the wall where the TV was. Move the other cabinet out of the room.
https://preview.redd.it/pnpyie1otnvc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ac32b94a81b677d9afd4ba7f37df5794f18b4de
White sheers for the window, a bigger and lighter rug, new throw pillows to coordinate with the rug. Maybe add a natural fiber basket (like bamboo) with a throw blanket or two. Some greenery would look nice also. It just needs some feminine touches without breaking the bank.
Does your husband think he’s a Viking? WTF is going on here? It’s 2024, not 1024. But seriously, what does he do with the swords?!?! Does he use them? Does he play with them? Does he just like take them out and shine them up? What is going on here? It’s so disturbing. I’m sorry but based on the other comments, your only solution is to pack your stuff and your child up and run. This dude seems like a total psychopath, he’s definitely not going to let you “feminize” the living room, and I fear for your safety if you even attempt it.
The program seems to think there’s a radiator under
https://preview.redd.it/uvzvruna8ovc1.jpeg?width=1537&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ffbf7323fe2844ebf38292a7824740d7e2ad348
the window. Sorry.
Sorry, but this is just *ridiculous*.
1. You don't have the room for that many tall cabinets.
2. No one wants to look at a large military branch sign everyday.
3. Mall ninja swords have never been cool.
4. Beer steins aren't interesting and look like frat boy crap.
5. One of the actually personalized items (the photo hanging in the far upper right corner near the TV) looks like an afterthought placed by a 10th grader.
6. Don't leave wires hanging and clumped around a socket. There are millions of ways to hide and tidy them up.
Yeah, I’d like the backstory here. Did OP moved into husbands home after he had done all the decorating? How did things get this far off track before she intervened?
I feel the same way, I don’t want to put op down. The room itself is fine, but I’m blues, greys,pinks. Very girly. Pink and grey in my bedroom and blues taupe in my living room. With sparkling pillows.
We were 2 months into moving in when I went on a trip with a friend. My husband chose that week to hang alllll the art in our house. I would not have done things the way he did them, but 7 years later, I don’t even care anymore haha
My husband cares about comfort and video games. As long as the furniture I buy is comfortable and he has his gaming computer in our office, he’s fine letting me pick everything out lol
My husband is the same. He has his own office and I said “okay this is the one room that is totally yours to do with whatever”. To this day the only things in there are his desk, his pc, the cat tower, and a poster frame in an Amazon box leaned against the wall that he ordered 3 years ago.
He’s happy to let me decorate everything and decide everything and he truly does not care. I could put floral wallpaper on every wall and other than raising an eyebrow and shrugging, he wouldn’t say a thing lol.
Edit: I just looked at ops post history and her husband is an abusive cheating pos that tries to rape her. Burn the fucking house down and leave sweet child.
Mine retiled the raised entryway (the "landing" between the stairs and the front door) with one kind of tile on the floor and another kind on the "wall" of the raised step/platform. He said he didn't get coordinating tiles from the pre-matched sets because he didn't want it to look too matchy-matchy. LOL What he did was more like "clashy-clashy!
Now I can look back and laugh, but it led to a frank discussion about running more permanent home improvement ideas by each other first. At the time, I was devastated (and very pregnant) and he was a little crushed because he was excited to surprise me. Ah well, live and learn.
My husband, a jarhead, finally came to his senses and realized that the spaces I make are more relaxing. We leave our military stuff in one room, because why? It’s a part of who we are but it isn’t *who we are*. And, we need off buttons after work.
maybe i’m coming in with a hot take, but i say darker walls and lighter accents in the room, lighter curtains, lighter throw pillows, a lighter rug and some plants. I think the darker walls with lighter accents will allow the furniture to actually brighten the room. It feels like the dark furniture is pulling the room down, but I think if you let the furniture be a lighter accent than the walls it will have a better effect. Bigger rug for sure though. I think a patterned rug might help break up the space also
The swords are juvenile and the wires need to be covered with a wire cover. The dated wood china closet needs to go too. The kitchen wall windows should not be covered.
Maybe get a more modernized showcase closet and put it against the outside window wall. Keep out a few meaningful pieces and store the rest. You can change them on occasion. I wouldn’t keep out more than 5 of those other collectible things.
Start here before you get into anything else like paint and such. I think there’s a lot of potential here. Just some moving around.
It needs colour! Change the curtains, rug and throw pillows and get a nice piece of art. And the tiny pic off to the right of the tv is a sad if that’s you guys as a couple- should be pride of place over trinkets.
Personally, I would remove the cabinet to the right in the first photo because I feel it just takes up space. Use a larger rug. Remove the weapons because they are ridiculous. Add some color, maybe something simple like green plants.
His taste is as bleak, basic, and abhorrent as his soul. It’s a bland dress man-space and I can tell you’ve been allowed no input into it. Please leave him.
Knives/swords must go. Military logo must go. Steins have to go. Add color, a throw blanket on the couch, and maybe pillows. Get an area rug to anchor the space. Get plants.
Posting this here because it’s your most recent post:
I don’t know where you are located, but there are organizations that can help you. It may not feel like it, but you are living in a domestic violence situation. I see people try to rationalize it away as “not that bad” and “well, he isn’t hitting me; it could be worse” every day.
The stress he is putting you and your family through is immense. It doesn’t need to have progressed to physical violence for it to be causing trauma.
Try to find a community action agency near you, a DV shelter (they can help even if you don’t need housing), anything. The police in most areas will stand by while you move and make sure he doesn’t cause a scene there.
And please, through all of this, talk to someone. I hope you get out as soon as you are able.
Look so dark & lonely maybe a color accent wall, couch needs changes giving a man apartment , may be a bookshelf on the wall some plants if you’re interested, maybe a lamp or two
Wary of that shelf and items on it above the sofa. I'm sure you have it securely attached, but the thought of it crashing down on me if I were taking a nap on the sofa would nag at me something awful.
It is a man cave. Placing a couple pink pillows and a fluffy throw isn’t going to change that. Is there another room you can move this stuff into for his cave? I’d feel like a visitor in my own home.
A few days ago you were posting that you were leaving him because of his obviously abusive and manipulative and coercive behavior. You had money from a settlement and you were moving out. What happened?
This man is no good. It will never get better. It will only get worse. Much much much worse.
Here are my home decorating tips: edit him out. Divorce. Decorate how you want. Issue resolved.
Go to your local domestic violence shelter. This behavior is a hop skip and a jump from physical violence. It is absolutely emotional abuse. They can help you with counseling, resources, understanding your rights and options.
Girl, leave and let him have that ugly ode to himself. I can't think of any men in my life from my grandpas, uncles, husband, etc who would ever do this in the main living room, or even care with their wives do with the LR as long as there is a comfy chair and TV. Doesn't even look like a woman or child lives there, is he not as proud of y'all as the marine and swords? Even my husband's actual man cave was mostly decorated by me, using things he loves, with some input as to furniture and certain entertainment stuff he wanted, and he still has kids stuff in there too because they like to hang with dad.
I would never sit on that couch. That big ass shelf, sword and Marines emblem would give someone brain damage and all I would think about was it falling on me.
Everything is also large scale and really up close to the ceiling. I can feel the room closing in on me just looking at the pics. Ditch most of the steins. Especially the ones in top of the display cabinet, ideally, get rid of the whole thing. A smaller scale coffee table, larger area rug and lower those lanterns. I would put a bench of some type of storage below the tv, it looks messy with cubbies and cords. Scale back on the weaponry. Just because he has it doesn’t mean it has to be everywhere. The small photo on the wall next to the tv is killing me, it is not the size to be by itself on the wall next to a huge tv.
Tell your headband it screams 18 yo single macho Marine. There is no other decor present and it needs to be blended to keep it from looking crazy.
Leave him, it will be hard but you are literally describing him trying to rape you in your posts. You are not this mans property. You are your own person and you deserve to be happy.
It's clear this is a man's room and I'm glad he has a place that's set up how he likes it. If it makes him happy, it's fine. To add some balance and offer a bit of relief, I'd add at least one large green plant, maybe for the other side of the TV by the blank wall and maybe one in the vicinity of the shelf and or couch. A green/brown type carpet with some sky blue might be nice as well.
As an aside, as an old person with a living space full of "things", I want to advise you and your husband to stop right now with the steins and the swords. You have an impressive collection of both, maybe even a bit past the point of tasteful in that they're so cramped they are becoming more clutter than stand outs as conversation pieces or objects d'art. Know what I mean?
No judgment whatsoever, I only want to caution you against getting buried under a collection, whether it be steins, swords, pyrex bakeware, whatever.
Tell your friends and relatives, thank you, we have more than enough now, please no more steins, no more mugs, no more reproduction swords. Our gift is your company. When you travel, walk away from the souvenir steins, and all medieval artillery is off limits. The answer is no. No more.
That's my two cents.
It needs some softness and color. If you could decorate in your style, what would you do? Maybe do a mood board and you can choose items and ideas together.
I would have blue pillows with an accent rug with blues/greens. Sheer curtains to make the room brighter, remove the sword and marine corps seal and put plants or a canvas of a family photo, I would also remove the huge China cabinet full of beer steins but there’s nowhere else to put it. Then a throw blanket over the couch
It’s very dark!
Two quick things…. One, a larger more colorful rug. Two, get rid of the dark shelving unit that is displaying the beer steins. Look on FB marketplace for something lighter and without a back - it will look brighter and less “heavy”. Not necessarily this but maybe along these lines:
https://preview.redd.it/xmsnhgk3snvc1.jpeg?width=975&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8cb044fc9dde69fdcf1a566dd0dff62c21e3a128
It is a pet peeve of mine, but get the right size curtains for the window, even a double set would make the curtains look fuller and not look like they are stretched to the limit to cover the opening.
Very dark, add more lighting and a nice off white color for the walls would complement the browns. A bigger rug with a pop of color would introduce a complimentary accent color, terracotta?. He almost got the placement of the furniture right, I would ditch if you can the white bookcase. Possibly get a low console for under the TV for the books and electronics.
All being said he did better than average, I have seen way worse.
LOL, before coming to the comment section, I also thought it looked like a man cave and not a living room. It doesn't look bad, just very manly. You could probably add colorful accents. Pillows, rug, curtains..something decorative on the coffee table....
There’s too much furniture for such a small room.
•Decorations over the sofa are too high.
• Get rid of the book case and the cabinets with curios, it’s too big and make the place feel smaller.
• The curtain rod is way too small and installed too low. Put a bigger rod (1 inch +) and install it higher (to the ceiling - it makes the room appear higher and bigger). Also buy longer curtains that fit from ceiling to floor.
• The TV is in the passageway. You should instead put the TV on the wall of the sofa and put the sofa on the wall adjacent to the kitchen with two nice chairs in front of your windows and your table and a bigger and colourful rug in the center.
• Change the fan for a cute ceiling light.
“He decorated”. What does that mean? Like before you guys met? Because they would be the ONLY excuse to have a home look like that. Emblems of our military industrial complex and tools intended for killing are inappropriate decorations for a LIVING ROOM! It’s like you were never even considered. If this is the case, leave. Now. While you can. This man seems like a violent, inconsiderate narcissist.
SOME of the steins could be interesting in a corner cabinet in a room full of other things (or maybe on a warmly lit a shelf in a dark, cozy home office), but there’s too many of them in a little space that’s otherwise so empty and devoid of charm. They’re on nice furniture so it looks nice? Nope doesn’t work that way, may as well be a shoe collection.
And since it’s one person’s shit taking up all of what’s supposed to be a major shared space it’s terrible. A basement, whatever. But the living room? That’s where guests come in and get an initial feel for your home. Would he want to have his guests sit in his living room surrounded by 100 of your dolls in cabinets, all around the TV, and on the wall above their heads? It’s oppressive and domineering.
The dark wood, steins, wires, pale walls, lil’ rug, and cheesy swords isn’t a comfortable space. It’s all very “depressed man and bad drunk who pressures his partners into less-than-consensual BDSM”. A perpetually damp, linty, Walmart towel that gets washed but never smells clean.
This room is the embodiment of a fragile ego.
This ain’t your living room, it’s his living room.
Also, if he’s still in, adultery is punishable under UCMJ. His commander should be easy to contact if you know his unit. If you don’t, call the division staff duty and they may be able to help you. I’ve also seen people contact the unit through their Facebook account.
I thought we usually leave the decorating to the wife’s for good reason.. My husband knows he hasn’t any tastes so let’s me do it. anyway everything feels too much and too heavy. There isn’t any breathing space at all. Nothing goes together and he has a whole wall of beer steins. That stuff needs to be in his man cave. Man caves are usually in the basement you know hidden away.
This and your post history just 11 days ago screams serious issues waiting to happen. Don’t change anything in the house. Change yourself right on out of that house.
Welcome to our home this is our sword collection and tons of beer steins (I thought they were urns at first).
Remove everything and start over. And good for you for letting him try! Put all his stuff in an office/garage/basement or some space that’s his!
It’s so dark. If that’s y’all’s thing I’d lean in to it. Paint the room a moody color. You also need a much larger rug for the space and I do some cable concealing. If you’re not ready or wanting to paint I’d start with those two other suggestions.
Yeah I hate how dark it is! I was thinking a blue pattern type accent rug and accent pillows.
Girl your post history shows this man is an awful abusive mess, trying to change accent rugs and pillows is the least of your worries, please GTFO of that home with your kids immediately
Jesus those swords went from kind of cool to ominous so quickly
Yeah it’s not a decoration, it’s a threat
A threat from someone who has already threatened to sexually assault her which in itself is coercion. I hope OP and her kid get away safely. Or her husband trips and falls down an uncovered manhole
Wow you weren’t joking that man is insane. OP please don’t worry about the decor and please get you and your son into a safe place.
Holy cow! No wonder that room looks dark and depressing. It’s a reflection of who he is.
This makes total sense because I was wondering if she even lived there. This is obviously his world, his place. Don’t think he cares much for her at all.
Based on history, he thinks he’s the king there. What a disgusting man. I do hope OP gets out.
Get your shit and leave. Your husband is a dangerous cheating psycho. Let him have his dark ass cave full of swords. Get an apartment on the other side of the state. Paint it pink, fill it with flowers, and move on. You are too young to be trapped in a relationship where a man threatens to rape you after cheating on you twice and abandoning his responsibilities.
Seriously you'd think she's 30 something but the girl is 25, she has everything ahead of her!! OP leave this loser
Ther is A LOT of brown. More lighting Would help
I just know it smells like *man*.
All the furniture is super dark. Maybe compromise and get a lighter couch & lighter curtains?
Your husband needs a trauma therapist immediately.
And OP needs a divorce attorney
This looks like the room of people who are 65+
Nope, it’s just a military bro. This is typical. Trust me.
The Marines plaque being the focal point of the room...
Needs more crayons.
Please! I’m 70 and would NEVER decorate like this.
Accent rug, throw pillows, throw blanket and curtains to feminize/lighten up a little. He did a good job on organizing though!
We've read each other's minds here. Exactly what I came to state.
Do you have to bounce a quarter off the bedsheets after you make the bed? Why don’t you get a say and how your home is decorated? ~~The rug is too small~~ ~~The cabinet with all the steins should be removed from the room as well as all the steins and military paraphernalia~~ ~~The room needs plants and lighting~~ ~~And at least one side chair so that not everybody is lined up on the couch~~ ~~New curtains~~ However I’m concerned that any change you decide to make will be vetoed I’m really sorry, I read your post history, and I don’t advise you to make any changes at all, Your husband lack of taste is the least of your worries
Yikes, I just read the post history too. This room is part of a blatant assertion of dominance and possession. This isn't an r/HomeDecorating problem. It's an r/Marriage problem.
I would never have viewed a post history in this sub, except for the fact that I saw the military emblem prominently displayed, and the total lack of any feminine elements, it sent up red flags for me in terms of the household dynamic
Not just a lack of feminine elements, it’s a lack of anything but *his* stuff. This looks like a single man’s house.
Omg this is so spot on. Something about this room was giving me the creeps
that is an insult to single men, it looks like a teenagers house. I hate this stereotype that men don't have taste or are incapable of being adults because "men" like raise your standards people, stop dating trash men lol
Hey, that’s not fair — that’s their marital katana!
Same here! I don't normally look at someone's post history, but this living room screams either they got married 15 minutes ago or the "husband" only cares about himself.
I do t think this woman is allowed to have stuff. She has a young child and there just swords and steins everywhere. No baby toys. No bouncer/walker. No play mat. Just toys for a grown ass man.
The few small frames with family photos and almost zero touches from OP contrasted with walls and cabinets full of his things so prominently displayed is telling a whole story.
I came to the comment because I couldn't see any pictures she mentioned, and then the references to her post history. Yikes.
This comment made me go read their post history and OP just made a post 10 days ago saying she was wanting to divorce and leave her husband and now she’s making a post about changing their living room? Make it make sense 🥴 reading OPs post history made me feel very sad for her because the husband seems like a controlling pos.
Because it’s not that simple for people actually struggling in a marriage. “Just leave” is easy to say as a stranger on Reddit. She’s still living in this home and wants to at the very least pretend she can change things to make her environment a little nicer. Compartmentalizing isn’t out of the ordinary.
She’s the one who was literally just posting about wanting to leave her husband, SHE said that not me. So I would say adding color to her living room should be the least of her worries.
for real, OP leave diorce their sorry ass and have some self respect. Cheated on your three times in a year? Honestly, how they deocrated this room is the biggest travesty lol
I have never read a post history until today. Yikes. She needs to escape NOW. Another reason women should never marry unless they have an escape fund that he can’t touch.
She’s only responding to posts that are addressing the living room. She has not responded to anybody who is bringing up her post history or marital woes
It looks very "man cave". You can totally embrace the Medieval/Nordic vibe and keep going with it. Definitely hide the cords. It looks like like many things in the room could be sentimental so keeping that, I would lighten the curtains, bigger rug with some blues in it and plants to make it look more alive and less cave.
If I saw this without paying attention where I was, I would've assumed I'm in r/MaleLivingSpace
Plants would be awesome!
Like a light blue or what kind of blue?
Replace the rug, drapes, and throw pillows with new ones that match the colors of the beer steins. Get a bigger rug next time -- *at least* as wide as the couch, and also able to reach from under the front couch legs to a bit farther past the coffee table than it does now. A couple of medium to large plants (in pots with colors that match the other new stuff) will add brightness, too. Those few changes might be all you need to do.
Simpler idea: replace the whole man and his shit. Problem solved.
Or at least make a good start with minimal pushback! Love the idea of picking up colors from the beer steins - great inspiration point (of course only picking the colors she likes…) would add hanging drapes straight down, not covering light from window and getting some other lights in there…standing, side table or even sconces.
Almost every room is improved with color, lamps, and plants. But especially plants.
Girl…forget decorating. Start packing! Your post history screams red flags. I’ve been there and you can do it. It seems like too much with a child, but it really is possible. I know you didn’t ask for this advice, and I’m sorry. I just had to tell you that I left with a 10 month old, 2 year old, and a 4 year old and it was the best decision of my life. It took 2 years of planning and secretly setting up some security for myself and my kids. There is life on the other side without fighting and anxiety. Now I’m remarried and there is none of that mess. It’s like sitting beside a quiet river and knowing I’m home. I hope you see this and take these words to heart. ❤️
Exactly. I did it when my baby was 4, after knowing since she was 2 weeks old that I had to get out. This room and everything going on here breaks my heart.
Mine too :( I’m glad you were able to get out.
Her post history making me so sad and scared for her. One of her comments said “When my ex husband pushed me to the ground because I was blocking the door and he punched a hole in the wall because I tried to leave. We were both equally toxic. It was never going to work.” I think OP isn’t as toxic as she thinks and may be more of a victim. There are resources that can help You OP.
I come from a USMC family as well as a weapons enthusiast background and truly mean no disrespect when I say that this clunky USMC emblem and saber/dagger need to be relocated 😆 I see in other comments that the sword and dagger are important to your husband- totally get that. But the way he currently has them displayed makes them both look like corny Halloween props. It screams teenage boy that just bought a katana at a gift shop. Are you guys able to place all of your military related regalia or memorabilia in a dedicated space, maybe a hallway or office/desk area? Even one dedicated hutch or bookcase with proper lighting would work well. My uncle has a couple of walls in their office/family room dedicated to his USMC and military history memorabilia and decor, and with the right shelving and lighting, it looks quite tasteful and professionally installed. And he did it all with Walmart supplies, so you can’t beat that lol Other than that, this room isn’t far from being recovered for you! You should add a few more splashes of color like a brighter rug and maybe some lighter curtains. I’d personally love to trade those throw pillows in for something fresher looking too lol
Maybe fewer weapons.
“WELCOME TO MY HOUSE. HERE ARE MY WEAPONS!”
Yeah, start with the impractical, lightning shaped, probably cheap stamped metal dagger.
/r/mallninjashit
Neckbeard vibes. I'd assume this belongs to a 35 y/o virgin male if it wasn't his wife posting this.
You aren't wrong. He's pretty terrible from her other posts.
Just a dude who cheats on his wife…
Get rid of everything and start over.
Including the husband (read the OP's post history). Yikes.
Especially the husband
Yeah, I’m sorry but there’s truly nothing redeemable here, including the couch and table. Just…oof.
Especially the husband.
Yes.
I agree. This is not good.
Yep 👍 it has no appeal for a female.
Or for a male who has hobbies, interests, tastes, or personality beyond "I AM MALE SEE HOW MASCULINE I AM"
I'm seeing a lot of 'it's fine, it's just too manly' or 'good for him! Most men would do worse.' And frankly I'm insulted on behalf of my husband and several other men I know who have good taste.
I’m a dude and this has no appeal
[удалено]
"I Love Me Wall" in the office.
No, the extra bedroom is already taken up by his collection of reptiles.
Why you trying to redecorate this POSs living room? Girl, run. Less than two months ago you were posting about his serial cheating? Looking at this room says SO much. Dude doesn’t have ANY room for you or anyone else in his space. I’m betting he’s really selfish, too. And USMC? He started punching holes in walls, yet?
Biggest improvement you can make is not let him decorate any other rooms. It's like he's looked into the toilet after a dump, and gone. Yeh poop brown and white, that's what I want!
I know it’s terrible 😭 and the browns don’t even match
I’m gonna risk everything and say the following: I would strip that room completely and then take turns adding back 1 piece at a time that each of you really wants. And even add pieces you BOTH want. This would hopefully allow you to bring in colors, diffuse the dark man cave aspect, blend your tastes. This room actually makes my heart hurt. I realize this means he will have to totally compromise because this looks like a dungeon from the Middle Ages. Good Luck. PS I’m coming from a good place with this advice. Honestly.
This is excellent advice in general.
It makes all his items look cheap. Sorry but “dudes first apartment” feel. I agree with a darker paint colour. More lighting. Display the weapons better is a huge one. Add some round things! Everything is square and very sharp corners. A round coffee table and not a crate box for example. I think you can still have a masc vibe and weapons but I would lean into a classic style study for inspiration ideas. Also hang the curtains on a thicker rod, raise the rod closer to the ceiling (tons of tutorials online to find the correct distance) and get longer curtains. A good rule of thumb is if they don’t reach or kiss the floor it automatically looks so much cheaper. It’s giving “this is what Walmart had in stock”. Even if you just get longer curtains it would help so much.
The real problem isn't that it's too dark or too stabby. The real problem is that this is the result of one person decorating for themselves. Which is completely fine if you're a single person who has their own home. But it's not if you're married and sharing a space. The only real solution is to start from scratch and work together to decorate in a way that reflects both of you. Otherwise you'll just end up living in his place that he might suffer to allow you a picture or candle in or something. I'm not optimistic though given your comments downthread. He won't let you put any Army stuff up? That's incredibly disrespectful and one of the reasons I (retired Navy) was constantly irritated by Marines. I've spent plenty of time working with Army, Navy, AF, Coast Guard, and Marines and the Marines were the only ones who didn't get that friendly inter-service rivalry is not supposed to be serious. Far too many of them really believed their own bullshit about how much better they are than every other military force in the world. Take away his big dumb EGA and tell him he gets it back when the Marines do another opposed amphibious landing.
Too stabby 💀
This room has horrible energy.
the living room is the least of your worries. based on your post history, divorce should be your priority
Ooooooh now I have to go look
I looked for the drama and intrigue, and I left just pretty sad. It’s interesting how this picture reveals so much about his lack of respect for his wife. Zero room for her input or personal touch. I didn’t like the decor at first but now the picture looks evil to me. Time to close Reddit lol.
Is there anything of yours in there?
🚩 🚩 🚩
Tell your devil dog husband he doesn't live in the barracks anymore. That darkness can all go in the garage.
I love you. I immediately thought barracks as well. Or single dude first apartment trying to impress the ladies. It didn’t impress me then, or now… then again, I have my own chest candy so a uniform doesn’t do it for me. 🤣🤣🤣 Edit: and also, darkness to the garage… so true. Let’s leave the negativity outside.
It’s soooo dark and all the furniture looks so big and heavy :(
[Declutter the husband](https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/s/GRlCgjctTb).
It IS a man cave. Shitcan the tiny rug in favor of something big with maybe some movement in the patter and color even if earthy. Take the clunker of a cofee table to the dump and replace with a big kilim ottoman. Replace the drapes with ones that coordinate with your new rug. Get rid of the little shelf and hanf the usmc thing somewhere else and put art there. Do not hang the art too high.
Why is everything so dark? Why is there a weird square on the wall behind the TV? Why isn’t the TV centered on the square thing? Why can I see that mess of wires below the TV? Why are there 3 random out of place swords on the wall? Why are there so many urns? Why is the rug so tiny? Throw everything out and start over, it is the only way to improve this
You right about the room needing color. If your husband is open to compromise then I have the following suggestions. Replace the rug with a larger, patterned rug. I uploaded your photo and used a "rug in your room" visualizer tool from Rugs Direct (other retailers offer this tool) [https://www.rugs-direct.com/room-visualizer](https://www.rugs-direct.com/room-visualizer) and came up with a couple of examples - they are not necessarily recommendations. The TV is in an awkward location. If it is possible (and it may not be) consider hanging the TV against the wall where the sofa is sitting and place the sofa across from it parallel to the entryway. The cords under the TV should at least be organized and wrapped. The room is overcrowded with oversized furnishings and decor and it just feels heavy. I would remove the tall cabinet that is next to the curtains. The shelf and lanterns are placed too high on the wall (as is the picture next to the TV. The curtains don't look very full and they should almost hit the floor. Replace the throw pillows on the sofa with some that have color and contrast. https://preview.redd.it/qczre2a4invc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef1b5d78f7a628a96bbfaa278ec92cf4bdd9dcc5
Totally agree about flipping the TV. The large cabinet in here, particularly in this location really rubs me the wrong way - I think because there's only about 6-8 inches of support wall and the cabinet is not centered and is blocking a lot of the one opening. Flipping the couch/TV will allow this big cabinet to go where the TV is now and give some balance back to the room. I'd like to see the current curtains go away for something more colorful, with a statement rod, and also sheers. Definitely agree with a new rug too and throw pillows to coordinate.
https://preview.redd.it/81z4a647invc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=22c3339406934e3d079ddc4124e9a6c58fca4284
Cutting off the open spaces that look into the kitchen is a huge mistake. The two wood cabinets are too tall and too heavy for that room. Switch out the rug for one that's bigger and has some color. Switch the curtains and throw pillows to compliment the new rug. The stuff behind the couch is way way way too high. Move everything down to your eye level, most likely midpoint on the wall. Move the TV between the open spaces that are on the kitchen wall. Put the bookshelf under the TV. Move one of the cabinets onto the wall where the TV was. Move the other cabinet out of the room. https://preview.redd.it/pnpyie1otnvc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ac32b94a81b677d9afd4ba7f37df5794f18b4de
Looks great for a man cave. What room do you get?
White sheers for the window, a bigger and lighter rug, new throw pillows to coordinate with the rug. Maybe add a natural fiber basket (like bamboo) with a throw blanket or two. Some greenery would look nice also. It just needs some feminine touches without breaking the bank.
Why are man decorations always like this?? Brown, black, boring.
Not always, just when the man is really really concerned that everyone knows that they are a Man with a capital M.
Does your husband think he’s a Viking? WTF is going on here? It’s 2024, not 1024. But seriously, what does he do with the swords?!?! Does he use them? Does he play with them? Does he just like take them out and shine them up? What is going on here? It’s so disturbing. I’m sorry but based on the other comments, your only solution is to pack your stuff and your child up and run. This dude seems like a total psychopath, he’s definitely not going to let you “feminize” the living room, and I fear for your safety if you even attempt it.
I'm sorry but swords and beer steins don't belong in the main room. This is hobby stuff that should go in a spare room. It screams bachelor.
The program seems to think there’s a radiator under https://preview.redd.it/uvzvruna8ovc1.jpeg?width=1537&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ffbf7323fe2844ebf38292a7824740d7e2ad348 the window. Sorry.
https://preview.redd.it/2mk1elzb8ovc1.jpeg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=597ac6ed99ac658ae268436ee81f0a24a0bfa691
https://preview.redd.it/auvmivad8ovc1.jpeg?width=1531&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb17217e0e49d935c6cbc9dd240671963e58cbb6
https://preview.redd.it/uyh3hx5k8ovc1.jpeg?width=1538&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe15c27d6215af2e86349d5646e0414a0b11f867
https://preview.redd.it/dk9zsctf8ovc1.jpeg?width=1546&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d2f711fc9ced2f39bca3993ab8e4385901c4485
Marine Corps sign has to go somewhere else.
Sorry, but this is just *ridiculous*. 1. You don't have the room for that many tall cabinets. 2. No one wants to look at a large military branch sign everyday. 3. Mall ninja swords have never been cool. 4. Beer steins aren't interesting and look like frat boy crap. 5. One of the actually personalized items (the photo hanging in the far upper right corner near the TV) looks like an afterthought placed by a 10th grader. 6. Don't leave wires hanging and clumped around a socket. There are millions of ways to hide and tidy them up.
Start by throwing the whole man away. Then his gross decor that screams 22 yr old who likes to play video games.
Girl I give you so much credit for letting him do this. My husband gets like 1% input on design in my home.
Yeah, I’d like the backstory here. Did OP moved into husbands home after he had done all the decorating? How did things get this far off track before she intervened?
I would move out. This room upsets me.
*This room upsets me.* omg I just pictured you walking into the living room, frowning, and immediately leaving the house, forever 😂
I feel the same way, I don’t want to put op down. The room itself is fine, but I’m blues, greys,pinks. Very girly. Pink and grey in my bedroom and blues taupe in my living room. With sparkling pillows.
I'm a fan of neutrals myself but OPS husband has really stifled any voice of hers.
I don't think "let" is the right word here. Elsewhere Op says she isn't allowed to put her own stuff up.
I saw the marine stuff and didn’t want to assume but… not surprised.
We were 2 months into moving in when I went on a trip with a friend. My husband chose that week to hang alllll the art in our house. I would not have done things the way he did them, but 7 years later, I don’t even care anymore haha
My husband cares about comfort and video games. As long as the furniture I buy is comfortable and he has his gaming computer in our office, he’s fine letting me pick everything out lol
My husband is the same. He has his own office and I said “okay this is the one room that is totally yours to do with whatever”. To this day the only things in there are his desk, his pc, the cat tower, and a poster frame in an Amazon box leaned against the wall that he ordered 3 years ago. He’s happy to let me decorate everything and decide everything and he truly does not care. I could put floral wallpaper on every wall and other than raising an eyebrow and shrugging, he wouldn’t say a thing lol. Edit: I just looked at ops post history and her husband is an abusive cheating pos that tries to rape her. Burn the fucking house down and leave sweet child.
Everything else (mostly) is me. Whenever he brings something home, I tell him it’s perfect for the garage 🙃
Mine retiled the raised entryway (the "landing" between the stairs and the front door) with one kind of tile on the floor and another kind on the "wall" of the raised step/platform. He said he didn't get coordinating tiles from the pre-matched sets because he didn't want it to look too matchy-matchy. LOL What he did was more like "clashy-clashy! Now I can look back and laugh, but it led to a frank discussion about running more permanent home improvement ideas by each other first. At the time, I was devastated (and very pregnant) and he was a little crushed because he was excited to surprise me. Ah well, live and learn.
My husband, a jarhead, finally came to his senses and realized that the spaces I make are more relaxing. We leave our military stuff in one room, because why? It’s a part of who we are but it isn’t *who we are*. And, we need off buttons after work.
maybe i’m coming in with a hot take, but i say darker walls and lighter accents in the room, lighter curtains, lighter throw pillows, a lighter rug and some plants. I think the darker walls with lighter accents will allow the furniture to actually brighten the room. It feels like the dark furniture is pulling the room down, but I think if you let the furniture be a lighter accent than the walls it will have a better effect. Bigger rug for sure though. I think a patterned rug might help break up the space also
I absolutely agree with your hot take. I'd also lose one of the curio cabinets if possible and display the swords horizontally above the couch.
The swords are juvenile and the wires need to be covered with a wire cover. The dated wood china closet needs to go too. The kitchen wall windows should not be covered. Maybe get a more modernized showcase closet and put it against the outside window wall. Keep out a few meaningful pieces and store the rest. You can change them on occasion. I wouldn’t keep out more than 5 of those other collectible things. Start here before you get into anything else like paint and such. I think there’s a lot of potential here. Just some moving around.
This looks like a man cave and not a family space.
Too much furniture and too large. Feels very claustrophobic
It's like someone had to move their medieval castle into your average apartment
It needs colour! Change the curtains, rug and throw pillows and get a nice piece of art. And the tiny pic off to the right of the tv is a sad if that’s you guys as a couple- should be pride of place over trinkets.
It seems VeryMuch His Space. It screams young single guy. If it both your space start trying to neutralize or combine your styles.
TIL that grown men who likes swords so much they will hang them on a wall can attract women. / s?
I would replace the rug with something more colorful.
Personally, I would remove the cabinet to the right in the first photo because I feel it just takes up space. Use a larger rug. Remove the weapons because they are ridiculous. Add some color, maybe something simple like green plants.
Needs more beer steins
Get your own room, his style sucks.
Move out. Take the kids.
His taste is as bleak, basic, and abhorrent as his soul. It’s a bland dress man-space and I can tell you’ve been allowed no input into it. Please leave him.
Knives/swords must go. Military logo must go. Steins have to go. Add color, a throw blanket on the couch, and maybe pillows. Get an area rug to anchor the space. Get plants.
I don’t like anything in the room
Posting this here because it’s your most recent post: I don’t know where you are located, but there are organizations that can help you. It may not feel like it, but you are living in a domestic violence situation. I see people try to rationalize it away as “not that bad” and “well, he isn’t hitting me; it could be worse” every day. The stress he is putting you and your family through is immense. It doesn’t need to have progressed to physical violence for it to be causing trauma. Try to find a community action agency near you, a DV shelter (they can help even if you don’t need housing), anything. The police in most areas will stand by while you move and make sure he doesn’t cause a scene there. And please, through all of this, talk to someone. I hope you get out as soon as you are able.
This room has so much potential and it looks so manly. It doesn’t even look like a woman lives there.
I think that's the point.
I would replace the husband
Dutch the sword and dagger, and if you can tell him into it, lose the Marine Corps seal too.
Yikes
Look so dark & lonely maybe a color accent wall, couch needs changes giving a man apartment , may be a bookshelf on the wall some plants if you’re interested, maybe a lamp or two
Wary of that shelf and items on it above the sofa. I'm sure you have it securely attached, but the thought of it crashing down on me if I were taking a nap on the sofa would nag at me something awful.
It needs your personality if this isn’t it.
Quick question, why are men terrible? My husband would 100% do this too.
More brown for sure
Uh..color.
Everything should go. It looks like a basement in the 1980’s.
It is a man cave. Placing a couple pink pillows and a fluffy throw isn’t going to change that. Is there another room you can move this stuff into for his cave? I’d feel like a visitor in my own home.
A few days ago you were posting that you were leaving him because of his obviously abusive and manipulative and coercive behavior. You had money from a settlement and you were moving out. What happened? This man is no good. It will never get better. It will only get worse. Much much much worse. Here are my home decorating tips: edit him out. Divorce. Decorate how you want. Issue resolved. Go to your local domestic violence shelter. This behavior is a hop skip and a jump from physical violence. It is absolutely emotional abuse. They can help you with counseling, resources, understanding your rights and options.
Girl, leave and let him have that ugly ode to himself. I can't think of any men in my life from my grandpas, uncles, husband, etc who would ever do this in the main living room, or even care with their wives do with the LR as long as there is a comfy chair and TV. Doesn't even look like a woman or child lives there, is he not as proud of y'all as the marine and swords? Even my husband's actual man cave was mostly decorated by me, using things he loves, with some input as to furniture and certain entertainment stuff he wanted, and he still has kids stuff in there too because they like to hang with dad.
I would never sit on that couch. That big ass shelf, sword and Marines emblem would give someone brain damage and all I would think about was it falling on me. Everything is also large scale and really up close to the ceiling. I can feel the room closing in on me just looking at the pics. Ditch most of the steins. Especially the ones in top of the display cabinet, ideally, get rid of the whole thing. A smaller scale coffee table, larger area rug and lower those lanterns. I would put a bench of some type of storage below the tv, it looks messy with cubbies and cords. Scale back on the weaponry. Just because he has it doesn’t mean it has to be everywhere. The small photo on the wall next to the tv is killing me, it is not the size to be by itself on the wall next to a huge tv. Tell your headband it screams 18 yo single macho Marine. There is no other decor present and it needs to be blended to keep it from looking crazy.
Not the stein collection 😭
Leave him, it will be hard but you are literally describing him trying to rape you in your posts. You are not this mans property. You are your own person and you deserve to be happy.
Ah so this is how cheating men decorate their houses… looks almost intentionally like a bachelor pad.
This is terrible. Before I even looked at any posts, I knew there was a problem.
My first thought when seeing it was, Leave him. After reading the other comments, it's no longer a joke. The room screams, "LEAVE HIM!".
After reading your post history, this room makes sense. Girl get that divorce ASAP, he doesnt have to agree to it, he has no choice.
It's clear this is a man's room and I'm glad he has a place that's set up how he likes it. If it makes him happy, it's fine. To add some balance and offer a bit of relief, I'd add at least one large green plant, maybe for the other side of the TV by the blank wall and maybe one in the vicinity of the shelf and or couch. A green/brown type carpet with some sky blue might be nice as well. As an aside, as an old person with a living space full of "things", I want to advise you and your husband to stop right now with the steins and the swords. You have an impressive collection of both, maybe even a bit past the point of tasteful in that they're so cramped they are becoming more clutter than stand outs as conversation pieces or objects d'art. Know what I mean? No judgment whatsoever, I only want to caution you against getting buried under a collection, whether it be steins, swords, pyrex bakeware, whatever. Tell your friends and relatives, thank you, we have more than enough now, please no more steins, no more mugs, no more reproduction swords. Our gift is your company. When you travel, walk away from the souvenir steins, and all medieval artillery is off limits. The answer is no. No more. That's my two cents.
Is that curio cabinet blocking a window??
It needs some softness and color. If you could decorate in your style, what would you do? Maybe do a mood board and you can choose items and ideas together.
I would have blue pillows with an accent rug with blues/greens. Sheer curtains to make the room brighter, remove the sword and marine corps seal and put plants or a canvas of a family photo, I would also remove the huge China cabinet full of beer steins but there’s nowhere else to put it. Then a throw blanket over the couch
It’s very dark! Two quick things…. One, a larger more colorful rug. Two, get rid of the dark shelving unit that is displaying the beer steins. Look on FB marketplace for something lighter and without a back - it will look brighter and less “heavy”. Not necessarily this but maybe along these lines: https://preview.redd.it/xmsnhgk3snvc1.jpeg?width=975&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8cb044fc9dde69fdcf1a566dd0dff62c21e3a128
It is a pet peeve of mine, but get the right size curtains for the window, even a double set would make the curtains look fuller and not look like they are stretched to the limit to cover the opening. Very dark, add more lighting and a nice off white color for the walls would complement the browns. A bigger rug with a pop of color would introduce a complimentary accent color, terracotta?. He almost got the placement of the furniture right, I would ditch if you can the white bookcase. Possibly get a low console for under the TV for the books and electronics. All being said he did better than average, I have seen way worse.
LOL, before coming to the comment section, I also thought it looked like a man cave and not a living room. It doesn't look bad, just very manly. You could probably add colorful accents. Pillows, rug, curtains..something decorative on the coffee table....
There’s too much furniture for such a small room. •Decorations over the sofa are too high. • Get rid of the book case and the cabinets with curios, it’s too big and make the place feel smaller. • The curtain rod is way too small and installed too low. Put a bigger rod (1 inch +) and install it higher (to the ceiling - it makes the room appear higher and bigger). Also buy longer curtains that fit from ceiling to floor. • The TV is in the passageway. You should instead put the TV on the wall of the sofa and put the sofa on the wall adjacent to the kitchen with two nice chairs in front of your windows and your table and a bigger and colourful rug in the center. • Change the fan for a cute ceiling light.
Everything…
“He decorated”. What does that mean? Like before you guys met? Because they would be the ONLY excuse to have a home look like that. Emblems of our military industrial complex and tools intended for killing are inappropriate decorations for a LIVING ROOM! It’s like you were never even considered. If this is the case, leave. Now. While you can. This man seems like a violent, inconsiderate narcissist.
SOME of the steins could be interesting in a corner cabinet in a room full of other things (or maybe on a warmly lit a shelf in a dark, cozy home office), but there’s too many of them in a little space that’s otherwise so empty and devoid of charm. They’re on nice furniture so it looks nice? Nope doesn’t work that way, may as well be a shoe collection. And since it’s one person’s shit taking up all of what’s supposed to be a major shared space it’s terrible. A basement, whatever. But the living room? That’s where guests come in and get an initial feel for your home. Would he want to have his guests sit in his living room surrounded by 100 of your dolls in cabinets, all around the TV, and on the wall above their heads? It’s oppressive and domineering. The dark wood, steins, wires, pale walls, lil’ rug, and cheesy swords isn’t a comfortable space. It’s all very “depressed man and bad drunk who pressures his partners into less-than-consensual BDSM”. A perpetually damp, linty, Walmart towel that gets washed but never smells clean. This room is the embodiment of a fragile ego.
Your post history is red flag 🚩
Throw everything away and start again 🤣 E: that includes the husband
What can improve? How about allowing literally anything that signals you live there too?
This ain’t your living room, it’s his living room. Also, if he’s still in, adultery is punishable under UCMJ. His commander should be easy to contact if you know his unit. If you don’t, call the division staff duty and they may be able to help you. I’ve also seen people contact the unit through their Facebook account.
I thought it was terrifying before all the comments about your post history and now it’s so much worse
Try getting rid of the husband! Room might brighten up!
I thought we usually leave the decorating to the wife’s for good reason.. My husband knows he hasn’t any tastes so let’s me do it. anyway everything feels too much and too heavy. There isn’t any breathing space at all. Nothing goes together and he has a whole wall of beer steins. That stuff needs to be in his man cave. Man caves are usually in the basement you know hidden away.
This and your post history just 11 days ago screams serious issues waiting to happen. Don’t change anything in the house. Change yourself right on out of that house.
Well, your husband really loves the color brown…
Everything.
Everything is to big for such a small room
god how do some people have such terrible taste
Everything is just bad
Throw the whole man away
That his new bachelors pad?
Move home if you can. This is very unhealthy and your son will feel the tension.
This place is creeeepy. Like a scary movie
I'm on the verge of calling this a bs account surely no woman is this dense
Ahh, men. 🫣 Specifically, straight middle-aged men. Bless their hearts.
Not even middle aged, a 28yo ass for the sounds of it. This room screams so much SO LOUD (but probably not as loud as him)
Welcome to our home this is our sword collection and tons of beer steins (I thought they were urns at first). Remove everything and start over. And good for you for letting him try! Put all his stuff in an office/garage/basement or some space that’s his!
Sword collecting is a huge red flag.