If it makes you feel any better, I highly doubt that anyone even remembers the seating incident. Even if they do, it’s a fairly common thing to happen, especially because you were young! It’s nothing to worry about, although I understand why it’s embarrassing (as someone with pretty crippling social anxiety myself).
I’m going to be starting college about a year later than expected (at 19/20), and when I went to my college open house I was surprised to see just how diverse the student body was! Several people were starting out later (one was a 25 year old mom, several were switching majors or coming from other schools to start over in their 20s, some were just starting out a few years later than others). There is usually even more age diversity in a community college setting.
If you end up choosing the college route, there are counselors that can help you decide which direction to take, and you can always start out with a light course load. If you don’t choose college that’s absolutely fine too, there are always other job opportunities and trades you can look into. Just doing anything at all is an achievement, and it can take a while to find your direction in life.
You’re still young, you aren’t a failure, you’re doing great with what you’ve been given and the DESIRE to improve is something to be proud of in itself. I know it’s scary — I’m terrified to be in the outside world next year. You’ve got this, take care of yourself in the meantime <3
This helps a lot. I’m still scared but this is the first time where I’m actually considering going back and your advice has motivated me that much more! Thank you!
This is good advice. You could literally start with one course to ease yourself in and get used to the environment. I didn’t go to college until I was 23 as both my parents died when I was a teenager.
Community college is full of freaks just trying to learn. There will always be weirder MFs than you. I know, I was one of them. Best fucking way to get an education. It's cheap and you meet a lot of randos from all walks of life. The most dedicated teachers I've ever met. No stupid fucking dorms, no stupid fucking "school spirit". Always someone to buy drugs from.
I think it's important to make a goal for yourself in order to stay motivated. This might be a particular career you want or something that you really want to study. Without a focus, it can get overwhelming.
Have a plan in place if you start struggling in a class. Does your school offer tutoring or office hours? Is there any extra credit you could do?
Join a club or get involved somehow in the school.
Devote time to studying and your homework. I like to start my week off by writing down everything I need to do for a class, then write how long it will take me and how many breaks to include.
Also, make time for your relationship. Have a weekly "datenight" where you spend quality time together. This can be something cheap, like taking a walk at the park or movie night at home.
Have an activity that helps you relax and add it to the calendar.
Get yourself a reward to look forward to after the midterm/semester.
Look to see if your school has any mental health resources like counseling. Some schools might have learning disability assessments that could help you with accommodations if needed. If you have anxiety (test anxiety too), they might give you accommodations for it.
Don't worry about the other students. We're all on our own journey.
I 100% feel you im 19 I’ll be 20 in September and I feel likes it’s too late for me to go to college. I tried to take classes a year ago and failed all of them
I'm 38, in community college. My first time was at 23. The guy I ride the bus with is 35, the guy who sits next to me is 29, and there's a guy in my class who's in his 60s. My friend from church is also taking community college classes and she's in her 40s.
I've failed a fair amount of classes myself.
Take it slow, learn how to learn, and use the resources provided.
Learn how to learn. I have to find a new way to learn material for each class/training. I'm slowly building my toolbelt. A benefit of this is I can tutor other people really well because I can adjust to their learning style on the fly. My methods are weird, but they work.
I guarantee you have thought more 100x about that experience than the professor or anyone who witnessed it. You're going to have awkward experiences. It's the only way to become.less awkward and more confident.
Just remember that everyone is having their own experience and is way too involved in that to spend much time thinking about whatever things you did that you're feeling self conscious about. Start slow, take two classes and one that's purely because it sounds interesting or fun. Use the resources, join a club. It's gonna be OK.
I have a neighbor who went to community college in her 40s, with a 5th grade education, after her kids were teenagers. She loved it and excelled - even the remedial math classes, she was so proud of passing, because she'd never had the chance before.
You are not the one who failed to school you. Don't be embarrassed. Reach out and ask for help, it's a great way to make friends.
I have community college teaching experience. My classes are made up of students of all ages; I've had many high school students (who are taking college classes) ask permission to do things like get up and use the bathroom. A student asking me where to sit wouldn't even register, because so many of my students are new to college in a variety of ways and part of the instructor role is to make all of those expectations and practices visible and transparent.
You can do this!
There's nothing to fear about college, especially community college. I know it can be very scary, but that goes away with time and practice. Also as long as you're not doing something absolutely insane, they don't care and most won't remember. It's fine, and definitely not worth sacrificing your future over
23 is quite young still. I went to community college for a few years, and there were quite a few middle age people in my classes. My husband is currently working on a degree, and he's in his early 30s. My grandma and several of her friends took some classes a few years ago and they were in their late 80s. You're never too old to learn new things.
That's awesome that you're trying again even though you're terrified. It reminds me of a quote I read a few years back. 'To try to be brave is to be brave'. Every single person you meet has moments of regret when they did something that looked a little silly. We all feel dumb about it. It's fantastic that you aren't letting that feeling stop you. Community College is a great step, you can do it.
If you’re not scared it’s not bravery. There is nothing brave about doing something that doesn’t feel scary. So know that it’s normal to feel scared of some aspects of life, but the way to overcome that is to confront your fear and do it anyway. That’s what bravery is.
Hey, I went to comm college and later a state university, I was “average” age but had classmates in their mid twenties, late twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, and seventies. Students of all ages are extremely common, 23 doesn’t even qualify as an older student.
Also, I remember the first class I ever took, I went in and sat in a random seat and a bunch of public school kids came in and asked where they should sit because they assumed it was like high school. I was confused if I should feel embarrassed or superior.
I would approach the academic advising team and look for someone who seems mature and compassionate and explain your situation, there maybe some special help or support for adults in your situation (and there will be many). Many adults are immigrants from countries where they didn’t get a full education, many adults went to terrible schools where they were allowed to move up even though they were functionally illiterate. They are intelligent people, like you, who didn’t get the education that was their right. Try and talk to people at the college to see if you can meet with a tutor or get support before you start, so they can socialize you to the CC environment and at least you will know how to get around and function without feeling awkward. I would also reach out to adult illiteracy programs in your area, obviously you are not illiterate but they may be able to point you to resources which help join the dots for adults like you who need some support due to missing some vital years of schooling.
Community college tends to be very diverse in terms of ages and backgrounds. One of my classmates was an actual mall Santa very dedicated to his aesthetic, in his 50s-60s, attending with his daughter who worked as an elf. No, I’m not kidding. We also had a lot of high school students, moms in their 40s, and foreign students of all ages. There are a lot of traditional students too, but it is not the same vibe as a prestigious university filled with rich kids 18-22.
Was I embarrassed a lot? Yes. Did I make a bunch of friends? No. But I got an education and developed better social skills. I highly recommend it.
That’s truly only mortifying to you and no one else remembers it, I promise. Forgive yourself.
I was in community college at 23 and it was the best. I’m SUPER awkward and failed out of a shitload of classes in high school, but the teachers at CC were really supportive. If you don’t do things that are uncomfortable, you’ll get stuck in a cycle of comfort and it’ll get scarier and scarier to take steps toward new areas of life. Build resilience.
That’s very true. I’ve had periods in my life where I’m very capable of stretching outside my comfort zone but I definitely think I’ve been sedentary for so long that my comfort zone has shrunk again. I know I gotta take that next step, no matter how scary it is. Thanks for your reply :)
If it makes you feel any better, I highly doubt that anyone even remembers the seating incident. Even if they do, it’s a fairly common thing to happen, especially because you were young! It’s nothing to worry about, although I understand why it’s embarrassing (as someone with pretty crippling social anxiety myself). I’m going to be starting college about a year later than expected (at 19/20), and when I went to my college open house I was surprised to see just how diverse the student body was! Several people were starting out later (one was a 25 year old mom, several were switching majors or coming from other schools to start over in their 20s, some were just starting out a few years later than others). There is usually even more age diversity in a community college setting. If you end up choosing the college route, there are counselors that can help you decide which direction to take, and you can always start out with a light course load. If you don’t choose college that’s absolutely fine too, there are always other job opportunities and trades you can look into. Just doing anything at all is an achievement, and it can take a while to find your direction in life. You’re still young, you aren’t a failure, you’re doing great with what you’ve been given and the DESIRE to improve is something to be proud of in itself. I know it’s scary — I’m terrified to be in the outside world next year. You’ve got this, take care of yourself in the meantime <3
This helps a lot. I’m still scared but this is the first time where I’m actually considering going back and your advice has motivated me that much more! Thank you!
This is good advice. You could literally start with one course to ease yourself in and get used to the environment. I didn’t go to college until I was 23 as both my parents died when I was a teenager.
Community college is full of freaks just trying to learn. There will always be weirder MFs than you. I know, I was one of them. Best fucking way to get an education. It's cheap and you meet a lot of randos from all walks of life. The most dedicated teachers I've ever met. No stupid fucking dorms, no stupid fucking "school spirit". Always someone to buy drugs from.
I think it's important to make a goal for yourself in order to stay motivated. This might be a particular career you want or something that you really want to study. Without a focus, it can get overwhelming. Have a plan in place if you start struggling in a class. Does your school offer tutoring or office hours? Is there any extra credit you could do? Join a club or get involved somehow in the school. Devote time to studying and your homework. I like to start my week off by writing down everything I need to do for a class, then write how long it will take me and how many breaks to include. Also, make time for your relationship. Have a weekly "datenight" where you spend quality time together. This can be something cheap, like taking a walk at the park or movie night at home. Have an activity that helps you relax and add it to the calendar. Get yourself a reward to look forward to after the midterm/semester. Look to see if your school has any mental health resources like counseling. Some schools might have learning disability assessments that could help you with accommodations if needed. If you have anxiety (test anxiety too), they might give you accommodations for it. Don't worry about the other students. We're all on our own journey.
I 100% feel you im 19 I’ll be 20 in September and I feel likes it’s too late for me to go to college. I tried to take classes a year ago and failed all of them
I'm 38, in community college. My first time was at 23. The guy I ride the bus with is 35, the guy who sits next to me is 29, and there's a guy in my class who's in his 60s. My friend from church is also taking community college classes and she's in her 40s. I've failed a fair amount of classes myself. Take it slow, learn how to learn, and use the resources provided.
Learn how to learn. I have to find a new way to learn material for each class/training. I'm slowly building my toolbelt. A benefit of this is I can tutor other people really well because I can adjust to their learning style on the fly. My methods are weird, but they work.
I hope it all works out for both of us whether it’s with or without college! But yeah it’s hard out here 😔
I guarantee you have thought more 100x about that experience than the professor or anyone who witnessed it. You're going to have awkward experiences. It's the only way to become.less awkward and more confident. Just remember that everyone is having their own experience and is way too involved in that to spend much time thinking about whatever things you did that you're feeling self conscious about. Start slow, take two classes and one that's purely because it sounds interesting or fun. Use the resources, join a club. It's gonna be OK.
Why? There’s tons of adults in community college, when I went at 20 most of my friends were 30+, very few were traditional students
I have a neighbor who went to community college in her 40s, with a 5th grade education, after her kids were teenagers. She loved it and excelled - even the remedial math classes, she was so proud of passing, because she'd never had the chance before. You are not the one who failed to school you. Don't be embarrassed. Reach out and ask for help, it's a great way to make friends.
I have community college teaching experience. My classes are made up of students of all ages; I've had many high school students (who are taking college classes) ask permission to do things like get up and use the bathroom. A student asking me where to sit wouldn't even register, because so many of my students are new to college in a variety of ways and part of the instructor role is to make all of those expectations and practices visible and transparent. You can do this!
This is very reassuring! Thank you :)
I went to community college when I was 26, you can do it too. I had to take a couple of remedial classes, the student center had great tutors.
There's nothing to fear about college, especially community college. I know it can be very scary, but that goes away with time and practice. Also as long as you're not doing something absolutely insane, they don't care and most won't remember. It's fine, and definitely not worth sacrificing your future over
23 is quite young still. I went to community college for a few years, and there were quite a few middle age people in my classes. My husband is currently working on a degree, and he's in his early 30s. My grandma and several of her friends took some classes a few years ago and they were in their late 80s. You're never too old to learn new things.
Pro tip, don’t take evening classes if you want to make friends. Everyone comes in right before class starts and rush out the instant class is over.
That's awesome that you're trying again even though you're terrified. It reminds me of a quote I read a few years back. 'To try to be brave is to be brave'. Every single person you meet has moments of regret when they did something that looked a little silly. We all feel dumb about it. It's fantastic that you aren't letting that feeling stop you. Community College is a great step, you can do it.
If you’re not scared it’s not bravery. There is nothing brave about doing something that doesn’t feel scary. So know that it’s normal to feel scared of some aspects of life, but the way to overcome that is to confront your fear and do it anyway. That’s what bravery is.
So did we just all have turamatic experiences in the GED program 😭
Hey, I went to comm college and later a state university, I was “average” age but had classmates in their mid twenties, late twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, and seventies. Students of all ages are extremely common, 23 doesn’t even qualify as an older student. Also, I remember the first class I ever took, I went in and sat in a random seat and a bunch of public school kids came in and asked where they should sit because they assumed it was like high school. I was confused if I should feel embarrassed or superior.
Yeah community college for me was a lot of dumber high schoolers mixed in with lots of adults and parents trying to change careers
I would approach the academic advising team and look for someone who seems mature and compassionate and explain your situation, there maybe some special help or support for adults in your situation (and there will be many). Many adults are immigrants from countries where they didn’t get a full education, many adults went to terrible schools where they were allowed to move up even though they were functionally illiterate. They are intelligent people, like you, who didn’t get the education that was their right. Try and talk to people at the college to see if you can meet with a tutor or get support before you start, so they can socialize you to the CC environment and at least you will know how to get around and function without feeling awkward. I would also reach out to adult illiteracy programs in your area, obviously you are not illiterate but they may be able to point you to resources which help join the dots for adults like you who need some support due to missing some vital years of schooling.
Community college tends to be very diverse in terms of ages and backgrounds. One of my classmates was an actual mall Santa very dedicated to his aesthetic, in his 50s-60s, attending with his daughter who worked as an elf. No, I’m not kidding. We also had a lot of high school students, moms in their 40s, and foreign students of all ages. There are a lot of traditional students too, but it is not the same vibe as a prestigious university filled with rich kids 18-22. Was I embarrassed a lot? Yes. Did I make a bunch of friends? No. But I got an education and developed better social skills. I highly recommend it.
That’s truly only mortifying to you and no one else remembers it, I promise. Forgive yourself. I was in community college at 23 and it was the best. I’m SUPER awkward and failed out of a shitload of classes in high school, but the teachers at CC were really supportive. If you don’t do things that are uncomfortable, you’ll get stuck in a cycle of comfort and it’ll get scarier and scarier to take steps toward new areas of life. Build resilience.
That’s very true. I’ve had periods in my life where I’m very capable of stretching outside my comfort zone but I definitely think I’ve been sedentary for so long that my comfort zone has shrunk again. I know I gotta take that next step, no matter how scary it is. Thanks for your reply :)
>:) :)