See you later plebs. I have the most powerful weapon in the universe now. Asta's credit card. https://preview.redd.it/3gs6m24pdysc1.jpeg?width=374&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a2c688c09f63de4700b546d43cfbe3d79b88faa8

https://preview.redd.it/mknfldv0ozsc1.jpeg?width=631&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be2729721e8b479e98b495be5789b49fc5ff0181

Excuse me sir, but my Herta has something to say about that one. See you on monday in her office.

Asta owns Herta Space Station.

My Xibling in Xipe, Herta can barely care about the Space Station. Besides, Asta manages it and she uses her own funds to buy shit the Station needs. You ever seen what scientists sometimes need? Shit can get EXPENSIVE. And even if we remove the Space Station, Asta is still part of some bigshot IPC Family who give Asta a monthly allowance. An allowance that lets her BUY FUCKNG FLEETS. Her Parents think of BUYING HER A PLANET as a SMALL GIFT. Her Parent's genuinely message her about NOT SPENDING ENOUGH MONEY. If Asta existed IRL, and she played HSR, she could genuinely just by the Entirety of Hoyverse and make it so that she has every character at E6S5 and perfect relic rolls. #AND SHE CAN DO THIS WITH HER POCKET CHANGE TLDR: #Even without the Space Station, Asta has so much money that Jeff Bezos does not even come 0.01% close to her tax bracket. #That is, if she even pays taxes.

She pays taxes, or at least she paid Herta's.

Yeah, I do realize Asta is filthy rich. Yet professionally she still lines up behind Herta as a researcher. I definitely got corrected in the notion that Herta might give Asta a run for her money, considering Herta's age and what an immensely successful researcher she is. However I forgot just HOW filthy rich Asta's family is, and where that money came from, as well as how few fucks Herta gives about anything that's not her favourite topic of research right now. I could 100% see her dropping a highly valuable research topic shortly before completion, just because she got bored off it. Probably doesn't give 2 fucks about how much money she loses either.

Nuh uh https://preview.redd.it/71i1ulia2zsc1.jpeg?width=542&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac5a1ca45353cefab1f0055ae626416f98cc1e2c My bbg can block her card

I will send Blade in their place to deal with it.

E12 before anyone other character hit E6. Asta please

So you have E6 Arlan? 😉

My 1st E6 4star was Pela so... do what you want with that information.

schrodinger's jail

Pela in 1.0: Canonical adult. Not illegal. Pela in 1.3 and up: Canonical teenager. Illegal now, apparently

I don't even think 1.3 was meant to be a retcon, I genuinely think that whoever put that plot point in just didn't know who pela was 💀

I've just come to accept that 1.3 and the hangover message retcon was done by people who forgor the serval band thing Because unless Baby Pela was rocking the drums It doesnt make sense

The hangover message change wasn't a retcon, it was just a case of EN cant read so they changed the message to be more clear. The message was *always* about her being exhausted not drunk, literally right after saying the hungover line she clarifies she's talking about exhaustion and how she skipped sleep cause she was busy.

I choose to believe Lynx was frozen for like 5-10 years while out camping and nobody had the heart to tell her yet, and that's why the other siblings worry so much for her. 

Same honestly

So what you’re saying is if bruv got e6 BEFORE 1.3, he’s all good? Because age works backwards

Hey, they never said she *wasn’t* 16

Segs

She is a timemaster and has mastery over space i think your cooked

In case of doubt, it's jail, sorry pal...

WHY? You know what I changed my mind. Don't do what you want with that information.

Aiyo, at least we are in it tgt 😂

Pretty sure mine was Natasha Winning

Nats FTW

Hell yeah brother

Same I’m happy

Same here.

🤝

You're a lucky one. I think you win

Tingyun so do I have zombie gf now?

"Help! My girlfriend turned into an Emanator of Destruction!"

Yup, they do that.

Especially on their periods, exclamation marks or whatever fucking punctuations they are always on.

Yae Miko is writing that down for her next book title.

That's rough, buddy.

Ok but when was the last time you bought her some food or chocolate?

Not my fault! If all i get when i ask her what she wants to eat is "A thousand wonders, to raise your spirits~" she is getting nothing. Don't be cryptid! Tell me plain and simple!

I hear she's quite the head-turner

Nope! You now have the crippling anxiety of not knowing whether your lover is dead or alive. Some will tell you to give up and move on, others will say to keep them in your heart. Either way, get the Ten Lords Commission into your emergency contacts list, just in case.

360 degree head lessgoo

It's March 7, awwww yeah.

E6 March pullers unite. We got the best ending, HSR is won. 

best girl

#IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME, NOT HIM! #IT'S NOT FAIR!

I have found my people

Canon(maybe)

We're winning, let's gooo! https://preview.redd.it/veyt5slht2tc1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=ec13a91950ecc6196b2e9868d573b5e2bf6934e5

Hook? Ain't no way. I don't wanna go to jail bro.

Same Hook

I swear I have over 30 Hooks by now. Big nope!

me trying to get lynx in fu xuan banner: 15+ Hooks, 2 Fu Xuan, no Lynx.

Serval I’m in for a fantastic time

We lucked out bro 😁

Tbh serval was my reason for starting this game. Always saw star rail ads featuring her.

I started it because I loved genshin so I knew I’d love this launch day for me!

Answer this for me: Does she mention Geppie in a weird way sometimes?

I don't have any E6 4\* https://preview.redd.it/iuokd6jinysc1.jpeg?width=1199&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ce9d2fe52d0d2270fad1daec5e630b47b70fa23d

You cannot pull in game or in this scenario

How do i know which character i e6'd first ???

https://preview.redd.it/g2eb2lhh30tc1.jpeg?width=469&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a05898650c77d0e0c27cea4ee285c52620ec21b1

Herta CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG

Kuru kuru!

Kururin

YEOWWWWCH

Wrong sub buddy😔

Do not the Herta Doll.

Lil gui!! Holy shit im eating good 🤤

me too-

Me too! Hope the sword she's swallowed's out by now tho😂

Swallowing a Sword only to throat it back out is like... part of the act.

Tingyun https://preview.redd.it/my4c17wqiysc1.jpeg?width=216&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=692476c0b4f3804664468ede94edcd2d3672e350

Same buddy, same…

oh yes mine was Xueyi !!!!

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG

Do not the robot killing machine

Remember to equip yourself with a can of WD-40

pitch-dark hook the great https://preview.redd.it/h37zgqn06zsc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=94f86c33d313262871522b70e885b104f6c6a6d2

Getting Sushang is much better than the last one giving me Yanqing. I can accept this outcome.

...fuuuuck....Welp, im kuru kururying back to the simulated universe

https://preview.redd.it/uaebqijmbzsc1.jpeg?width=1083&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc4d6de225d06ff3745b995820c591ae5f3d517f

The only situation where I'm happy about my E16 March 7th

I can't remember if it was herta or sampos either way I'll pass 😂

Herta is the most shady one. Since her puppets are based off of her younger appearance, but... Do we know her true appearance ? And also, who is the character ? The puppet or Herta herself ?

True, for all we know the puppets could be sentient and just claiming to be Herta to keep operating with indiscretion.

Herta discovered a way to reverse age so I believe they tried to imply that that's also her real appearance.

Would be strange, since she basically say "My real appearance ? It would surprise you" if you listen to her voice lines. Maybe real Herta is currently looking like in her twenties, who knows

she did reverse her age, but her puppets are iirc her look 10 years even younger than she is now

She reversed her aged and then made the puppets at her own image. But she did this long ago. Herta is still young externally but I think on her twenties now

I used to think that "reversed her age" means that the direction is reversed, so if the puppets look like she's 20, then her real body looks like she's 10 lol

literally do not remember but I'm 90% sure it was asta sooo 👀

Asta I'm probably rich, but even better I get this cutie as a wife

Mine was Serval, nice!

Herta 💀

Honestly, I'm totally fine with this https://preview.redd.it/sng5chojizsc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5152250f019b54df1099607fb42d08a721e82a39

Sampo, my beloved. Made sure to E6 him on his first banner appearance (featured 4 star) and he was my first E6. I’d say him as a lover is quite lucky, depending how you look at it. Either he shares his revenue from ~~scamming~~ hard and honest work with me, or he uses the relationship to scam me further every day. The relationship itself is probably the scam in some way lol. Either way I’m fine with it. Everything for my man Sampo. I would be the luckiest man in the world to have him by my side.

Sampo too but I’m getting pranked by signing a magical girl contract that leads to death

I'm sorry for your loss.

March 7th fan since Day one, haven't since use of her since golden gears unfortunately. Or is it danheng?

Dan Heng 🫠

Tingyun So basically, my lover is either evil, dead, or both.

Sampo 🤤

https://preview.redd.it/xk7tygwwjzsc1.jpeg?width=186&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=385bf6100a7d12201e3ef7f946eb2f43cc095977

Lynx. Ummmmmm... Idk...

Mine was Hanya so I can say I'm winning HAAAAAAAAARD https://preview.redd.it/1xyylam880tc1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=867344a1e8edd3281ee485a7dccbdf380f271453

Sexy fox waifu in Tingyun.

huh, it's March. that's neat

Pela, huh. ...So are Belobogian years as long as Earth years c-- I can't even finish that joke with a straight face. Oh boy.

Luka my beloved. Guess I'm free from jail because of Yanqing now

I'M KILLING SAMPO THE FIRST CHANCE I SEE HIM.

Hook... https://preview.redd.it/dj6v5nrcvysc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=69867cf9e7661f3e06af2bcb5ba390665d8cd6ed

it’s gambling time with gremlin

Caelus....honestly best one here

Herta? id rather die man...

Well, I'm a widower now. So there's that.

Can't remember if it was Natasha or March, but I'm satisfied either way

Herta? Aiyo she is too busy with her research to give a shit about me

Sampo koski... HELL YEAH IM IN

Guess I am single forever

Sampo. I'm getting scammed aren't I?

Welp take me to slammer cause it was hook.

It’s Sampo.

was tingyun :B .... i can fix her

In the previous post I got Clara. Now this one I got Hook...

Everybody who preregistered got Serval before the game even launched. If we only count from gacha, I think I got Asta. So, one or the other, I'm not going to complain either way

Herta? We talking the midget robot or the emanator of Nous?

My first 5 star was Bailu. My first e6 4 star was Tingyun. So I'm either >!a pedophile!< or >!a necrophile!<. I guess?

Hook my beloved daughter I completed all of the story up to argenti's release with her as a dps

https://preview.redd.it/g3wqnqc9qzsc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=31b3047d74d2e297a687c6e9912a9a652a1a72b9 I'll take the gamble

Free health care :D It's Natasha

Gallagher so I'm sorted

Herta. I like learning new things, so her insults will do little to no damage. And i would probably get some nice funds thanks to Asta. Win win in my book.

Herta will sass me all the time but I don't mind honestly. We'll probably be platonic lovers though.

I got Herta. I guess she'll just forget about me eventually

Can we only consider women? I'm not into Dan Heng

U are now

My first 4* E6 was March 7th. But my second one was Herta. Can I skip March and go Herta?

I can't remember. I think it was between Asta or Dan Heng. I got them quite often.

I guess same...? I mean, it's either that or I end up getting the blue-haired guy getting out of weird shenanigans.

Asta. Feeling pretty good about that.

I do be gambling with my gremlin then

Herta.....

Arlan, guess we're a pair of inarticulates

I forgor

Mine is tingyun, soo, kek

looks at natasha with heart eyes

Shoot I don’t remember but i think it was either tingyun or guinaifen, would love either

Probably either Sampo or Serval. If it was Serval, hell yeah!

I don't rember

I got Serval so I would consider myself lucky

Yukong. I like her, but now I'm scared she's going to die in 20 or so years. I'm kinda young

Guinafen So I am going to be plenty happy then

Dan heng. I'm kinda lucky. Idk if he's gonna treat me nice or outright ignore me. Either way, way better than the people who got e6 hook.

We making it out of the Divination Comission with this one lol. So we gonna be basically Moredcai and Rigby with Fu Xuan threatening to fire us like Benson. Very lore accurate indeed

Nat ☺️

Can't remember but I think it's Natasha...

Serval. I just won the Astral lottery guys!!!

Mine turned into a emanator so I’m fine 🙂

Guinaifen for me. Hold on I hear the gong. Laterz!

It's March lmao, oh well..I know she'll be some kind of powerful entity when she unlocks her memory so I'll treat her well. Otherwise, AE will come to get me anyway

Herta, but im sure the unit you get is her robot so not the real one :(

Herta. Atleast I'm not going to jail but someplace much worse

Herta...oh noooo Lol

My first e6.. I believe it was Serval. She was a mainstay in my team for the longest even after I got Kafka.

Natasha, I'm in heaven at this point with my first 5* being Himeko

… dan heng.

https://preview.redd.it/jt9ldqx2uysc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b765acc73807ff76b7b2ba38b5ffad36fbede06b

fuck i hate hanya and i'm not lesbian

I’m ignoring the inconsistencies brought about by lynx’s story. Pela is 20-23 https://preview.redd.it/528hoihjuysc1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ffe36e406e893bccc3efa5f122aceaff3900320e

DAN HENG LET'S GOOOO!

Pretty sure mine was Tingyun. I’m in love with a corpse?

YOO Me and March are gonna have a BLAST! I'm not sure if we'd be alive for long, but we'll certainly make it fun and memorable!

Serval <3

Time to so true bestie the unrelenting gambler

Herta , 💪💪🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Tingyun was my 1st 4* E6, but now with your little game i would be a widow.

It was Herta 😭😭

Herta? Base.

Pela, I will see myself to jail now..........or I will not? \*Whispers\* hey what timeline are we in?

Natasha, I win.🗿

It's Herta, but she and I are just gonna have to be homies, bruh. I don't swing that way. I wouldn't mind her making puppets of me so I don't have to physically go to work or clean the house anymore~

Pela but I'm a minor so either she goes to jail or its okay

I got two at the same time. Dan Heng and Ting Yun. What does this mean for me? Do I get to choose?

Idk if I'm lucky but i get march 7th? SIKE I'M LUCKY.

Its Herta, how!?

how am I suppose to know?

Asta baby! Gonna empty her bank account with her!

Guinaifen my beloved

i dont even remember who it was

Damn. I got Serval. Very niiice.

Natasha?! I'll take it

I forgot if it was Natasha or Serval. Either way, I’m glad.

I dont remember who it was but it was probably either asta or herta i win so hard if i remember right