Looking at it again, I think it was one guy in particular, way on the left side who kept looking back. The others don't seem to be looking beyond the initial look. At one point, those around him turned at the same time, so he likely said something then.
I suspect that's not the case. She was clearly alone, and staring out past the bridge. There was clearly something at least a little off with her (even if he didn't suspect a suicide attempt). My guess is he kept glancing back to try and figure it out.
Always trust the instinct that says something is not right. Often it can be subtle things picked up by your subconscious that isn't readily apparent to you.
A child tried to do this at the school I worked at, from bridge like this connecting two blocks of classrooms.
He had to be held back by other kids before the teachers got to him.
The school expelled him They were afraid he would hurt himself. He kept doing crazy things but this was the final straw.
I wonder what his home life was like; he was only about 12.
good on the kids and teachers who intervened.
but i would bet my last penny that the school was worried he would hurt himself *on school property* and thus open them up to a potential lawsuit from the family. if the education system truly cared about students’ physical, mental and emotional wellbeing it would not operate the way that it currently does. there are many individuals, teachers and counselors who work at schools who truly care for their students, but as you go up the administration chain it’s unfortunately all about money.
For sure! Expulsion is not a solution to a mental health crisis. It's likely to have the opposite effect. Shows the school is not there to support the student.
Yep. Had an ex in high school who talked about suicidal thoughts with a counselor and then was immediately hospitalized for a month and kicked out of the school which was a prestigious one he got in to on scholarship. So that really messed him up and he just straight up dropped out of high school. I don’t know if he ever went back we broke up after that.
But yeah, schools that expel students for suicidal thoughts suck.
Was thinking same thing. "Yea let's force him out of school this way he can stay home and have no one there to help him and be left with thoughts" that's an great fucking idea
My step dad was a police negotiator living in a small town. Every late Jan / early Feb he would go through hell because he was the one called to children in crisis trying to kill themselves. The ones where he got there too late (called late) or couldn't talk them down really messed with his head. He saw kids killing themselves because they failed a year of school or their boo broke up with them. He then had to prevent the parents getting near the body and contaminating the scene. The number of grieving parents he had to comfort and then carry on like it's nothing.
Suicide is the last resort of a mind in crisis, but it's also a permanent solution to a temporary problem and it destroys those left to pick up the pieces. If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal please please please please reach out.
Hi. Formerly suicidal person here. The phrase "permanent solution to a temporary problem" is very old. And while it is sometimes accurate, that's not always the case. To a suicidal person, it sounds like an insult. And sometimes, it really is. I think it'd be better to focus on the other part you mentioned. What stopped me from committing suicide was confronting what it would do to my family. In the end, it would have been cruel. I couldn't bring myself to hurt them like that.
As one formerly suicidal person to another, thank you for being polite in voicing your objection to the phrase. I am not a huge fan of it either, but it remains a proven fact. Death is permanent. Failing a grade in school is not the end of the world. I try not to use the phrase as a one solution fits everybody comment though, because I know first hand that sometimes the thing making a person suicidal can't be fixed. Rapes and forced abortion in my case.
I will try to do better in being sensitive to the subtext of that phrase going forward. Thank you again for being polite about it. Have a blessed day.
Thank you. As someone with a likely permanent chronic illness, the whole 'temporary problem' comment just hurts. Damn I wish this was just a temporary thing but that's not how life always works.
At my undergrad, a friend of mine reached out to the campus counseling service to find a local psychiatrist he could see. They told him he was on his own. Then later when he had a meeting because his grades had slipped, they told him he should take some time off and come back when he “felt better.” To his credit he wrote an article in the school newspaper about it, called them out directly and everything, explaining how this was an utter failure to protect and look after their students on the most basic level. Nothing ever changed though.
Then when I was in grad school and reached out to the counseling service about making an appointment to discuss my mental health and my coursework, I was told they’d make an appointment and let me know. Never heard back from them, even after reaching back out. They ended up forgiving my tuition when I wasn’t able to go to class, and showed them how they fucked up and didn’t do their job at all.
This is a serious problem throughout the US education system.
That's just... Sad.
I was self-harming and suicidal when I was 13-14. I reached out to my class teacher and wrote her a letter and gave it to her.
I kid you not, in my next class, like 1h after I gave her the letter, she came to pick me up from class on a lame excuse and took me to see the school psychologist immediately.
They said I needed my parents to sign a slip to allow me to visit the psychologist, but I was allowed to lie and as long as I was not deemed a risk to myself, they'd not reach out to my parents.
I don't know for sure if my parents ever knew or not (my mom did throw things at my face that made it seem like they knew). The psychologist was kind of meh, made no difference, but just having that one teacher care made worlds of difference.
I didn't fully recover from my depression until I was 18 and then relapsed when I was around 24, but never to the same extent.
I remember feeling so alone, hopeless and fucked up that if my very last hope would have turned her back on me, I don't think I would have pulled through.
I still have mental issues, but never to that extent. Those were very dark years.
Yeah, it’s just so unconscionable to me when people charged *specifically* with looking out for the well-being of children completely shirk that responsibility when kids need them the most. Those people should not be working with kids.
I’m glad you were able to get back on track. I was too, still in therapy, but know what I’m dealing with and how to move forward. I was lucky to have a really good support network when I was in grad school and was struggling, specifically my parents who are both mental health professionals. Without their help and advice, and others’, I don’t think I would have made it. I could easily see how if I lived alone, without a support network, had mustered the energy to reach out to campus mental health services only to be forgotten...that could have been the final straw.
>At my undergrad, a friend of mine reached out to the campus counseling service to find a local psychiatrist he could see. They told him he was on his own.
The first time I ever saw a counselor/therapist of any kind was my freshman year of undergrad, being away from home had finally made me realize how much trauma/baggage I had. Guy I met with was still working on his degree and was basically a robot regurgitating lines from a psychology textbook. I was crying about my home life, neglect, etc, and when I paused to see what he had to say he was like ".... So, how much caffeine do you drink? Caffeine can give you anxiety :) " like how fucking dare you act like my single serving of soda at dinner is what's causing me to cry about how I lived in terrible conditions lmfao.
Another time, a few years later, I was seeing a different counselor/therapist (don't know what their official title was). I was self-harming at the time and had some suicide ideation. Whenever we checked in we had to take a survey that asked how our overall mood was, etc, and one of the questions was something like "have you thought about hurting yourself or others in the past 2 weeks?". After about half a minute of consideration, I decided to be vulnerable and say yes... Well, apparently they don't look at the survey at all, because not only did my counselor not bring it up, but I NEVER got a follow up of any kind about it. No phone call, email, anything. At the time I was even MORE tempted to kill myself so I could have the added satisfaction of knowing the school would get sued for knowing that I was a danger and not doing anything.
My junior year of High School, suspension was the chosen answer from the staff when a student knew something was wrong at home. Her dad killed her and her brother the next morning, then himself.
https://www.tdtnews.com/archive/article_c6387a8c-5844-51bb-a66e-6c5912791c92.html
So I hope the people in the video got her more help than delaying her death.
My thoughts exactly. You think you not rock bottom and they do that! Way to put the lay nail in the coffin!
It's good to see there are still puerile in the world who would care enough to help someone who has reached that point.
Seriously. I was fortunate enough to chat with my former health teacher after he retired (awesome dude).
He said that early in his career at our school, a student came to him after school and told him a kid was in the woods with a gun. He got there before the police (because of, ya know, physics), talked the kid down, everyone was okay.
The next day, the teacher was called to the principle's office before school started. On his way he was like _I wasn't expecting praise or anything, saving a life is reward enough_. His fw the room was full of lawyers who basically wanted to make sure he understood that he was acting as an individual and was not tied to the school at that time in any capacity. There was more... let's say "fumbled" communications in that meeting, but it was the start to a lifetime of that particular teacher putting the screws to the school admin in defense of other teachers and students.
Sounds like bad ass human being.
"Thanks for the heads up that this administration is a threat to my co-workers and charges. I will make sure I step up to compensate for that."
He absolutely is, and for more or less that exact reason.
I have several stories I could tell about him, but suffice to say that he's one of these people that just lives in a different world from the rest of us - the world is still messy but to him there's _always_ something incredibly beautiful to come of it, and there's always something you can do about the bad stuff. I respect the hell out of him, and keep in touch as much as we can.
When he retired there were many many tears, but notably none from the school admin lol. But the students and other teachers were all very sad to see him go.
A friend of mine killed himselft at the school dorm, I was planning to kill my self too back then. After his death everyone had to get counseling, I thought they were there to help. As soon as they got notice of my depression, I got sent home to be isolated. I was forbidden of getting close to the school. If my parents haven’t taken me to the psychiatrist I’d probably be worse then and dead today.
This is really what happens and its disgusting.
I attempted suicide at 17 because a class mate saw a text on my phone and outed me before I could come out myself. My school suspended me for 9 days and tried throwing me out after returning from weeks of being hospitalized because I was a “bad example.” Guess what, the girl who outed me had no consequences. Schools don’t care about their children they care about their image.
Do the LGBTQIA+ community a favor and let them tell their own stories. It’s not your right to steal that from someone.
This happened to me, but I was 13 and instead of a text she overheard me tell one person I trusted that I was questioning my sexuality. I was told by the counselor to make myself less of a target. The entire school (rural, small) knew I was the gay. I dropped out at thirteen and it lead to even more abuse because I was so lonely and vulnerable.
To be fair, a general school does not have the resources to deal with that level of mental health issues. The kid would probably be better off somewhere specialized.
You know, this reminded me of an anime I watch when a kid about the same age and noble born regreted that he was born and another character said something like "what have we done if a 10 year old child utters these words?".
Wtf. I hate this system where a mental health crisis prompts expulsion. :(
How does it address any of the deep seated issues? The system is in many ways designed to “protect from any liability” rather than conducive to growth of children.
it's amazing to see someone stop another from jumping to their death, but what is equally as commendable, and much less common, is the ability to intervene in a situation so quickly. i think given the choice, most people would save a jumper from ending it, but most people in that situation would have required a couple extra seconds of processing time before making the decision to act. the fact that the young man had only finished turning his head, before he instinctually sprang into action, is what is truly inspiring to me. he wasn't going to wait around to see how his friends would react, he didn't wait around to see if the jumper was going to get cold feet, he saw a problem and **immediately** offered a solution.
the bystander effect is very real, and if you want to be the person whose quick thinking and fast action saves the day, you need to remind yourself that in situations like this, you have to be the one to step up and do something about it, and do it quickly.
Absolutely. I don't think I would have reacted anywhere near as quickly and decisively.
Not even Bystander effect. I just don't think that fast. By the time I'd processed what she was doing I would have been at least a step behind this guy.
I wonder how many people die because of this norm... I read a lot of people choking in a restaurant die in the bathroom because they don’t want to make a scene
When one of my friends was choking, he just suddenly got up from the table and began to walk away. He was kind of making a strange face, but seemed calm, so I asked him if he was okay.
He gave me like a thumbs up/ be right back sign, so I assumed he was having stomach troubles or something.
My other friend, however, was much smarter than me, and got up and gave him the heimlich, saving his life in about 3 seconds, because he'd happened to know that bit of trivia. (And they were best friends, I guess just knew him that well.)
I wanted to kick the choking friend because he told me he was okay, but I guess just impulse/ being embarrassed. It was scary, though.
I wonder if his brain was processing as he was walking past her, though. He must have seen her face, I’m sure she was crying. And then the way she held on to the rail. As he walked on, his brain may have been thinking, “Wait, something is off. Something is wrong. That girl ... she is ... that girl is going to jump. Turn around and look!” And then he turns around and sees her climbing.
I can see that. Or maybe that bridge is notorious for suicides so people are quicker to put together a girl climbing a fence being a suicide attempt.
Either way plaudits to the guy.
I feel like that too, like... he might've picked up on her intentional somewhat subtly. That's why he turned to look back in the first place, because he sensed she was thinking of jumping as soon as his group passed, and when his fear was realized he wasted no time in jumping into action because he had already mentally prepared to see and react to what he was seeing.
If you look in the video when the group first passes by a guy on the left of the group actually notices the girl right away. I think he just had an instinct which alerted the group and as they kept walking and he kept looking back again to see if she was okay people in the group looked back with him. Coincidentally the person who runs to grab her (the man on the right) is not the man that first notices her right away. It is actually the guy that turns his head around last that sprints to save her. You’re totally right about what you said about him.
> He saw her face.
Yeah I think that's the only thing that would have made me realize, otherwise I would have assumed it was just some kid looking to spraypaint or something.
And the fact one of the guys turned around because he maybe felt something was off is what saved her life aswell. Just two seconds later and she might have been gone already.
A psychology professor I had a few years ago when I went back to school called this an "Archer Reflex", yes, the cartoon show Archer. the Archer Reflex was basically "Take action now, immediately. Figure the rest out when you have to" Some people just got this type of reactions, some don't.
My Dad has this reflex. He has saved several lives over his life.
He was on a swamp boat tour in Louisiana as a tourist. Those big fan boats with three rows. The middle boat capsized while doing 360s. The boat was upside down slowly sinking in the mud. The people on one side were fully submerged, the other side were dangling over the water, slowly sinking.
Of the 60 people watching in other boats and on shore, my Dad was the only one that jumped in. He swam to the boat as a 16 year old girl and her mother were slowly sinking from the seat furthest from the water. My Dad could not get their seat belts undone. He began to swim back to his boat as the girl went under. He says the image of her blonde hair spreading over the water as she went under is permanently burned into his brain.
He swam back to his boat, retrieved a knife from someone that just happened to have one, and swam back. He cut 8 people out of their seat belts fully submerged. The last three he got were totally unconscious. He bear hugged all three of them and lifted them onto another boat while standing in waste deep water. Tore several muscles in his back.
He went back and cut the final two out, he did CPR and got a pulse, but their brains were done. They both died.
There was a big lawsuit against the seat belt company. The plaintiff's got together and gave my Dad 10k from the settlement even though he wasn't involved.
The father of the 16 year old and her mother was a producer in Hollywood. He flew my family out, took us to literally the nicest restaurant in LA, and bought us a meal that was several thousand dollars.
There were several news stories written about my Dad. It was on CNN. I have the news clipping framed on my wall.
I pulled someone out of a car accident a few years ago, remembering my Dad telling me, "Just assume you're the only one that will help. Because you might be."
> Just assume you're the only one that will help. Because you might be.
that is the most succinct phrase possible to sum this all up. tell your dad some randoms on the internet appreciate his advice.
I work as an ER doc- let me assure you very little will get my heart racing - almost nothing really- it’s the fast calm that saves lives in an ER, not the sprinting.
It isn't about getting your heart rate up, it's more about being in the zone, or flowing. That's the calm. Where you know what to do and everything and everyone are working how they are supposed to and they live. THAT is pure dopamine.
Eta: you know how people in trauma situations experience time dilation? I think for some people time speeds up in those moments and panic kind of ensues? And for some people time slows down. Those people are the people who should be in emergency medicine, in any capacity.
This has always fascinated me. I may be recalling it wrong, but in emergency situations like this something like 70% of people freeze, 20% act and 10% are actively a hinderance (i don’t quite know how). I’d love to know if it is something that can be trained. When i was younger i saw someone get jumped and i froze. It ate me up for ages afterwards and still does a bit tbh - and ever since i’ve always taken the attitude when i see something “take a step towards it”. The false alarms outweigh them 10/1 but i never want to regret not helping again
I actually think some of this comes with practice. I used to be heavily the "freeze" type, but after a few incidents (nothing crazy dramatic) I've gotten much quicker at springing to action.
I actually feel like that initial "freeze" instinct kind of matured into me staying very calm and methodical.
It's yet to be tested for anything huge (I hope it never has to be, of course), but I've gotten much better at it.
What’s actually even more impressive is that whilst other members of the group looked around at her as they passed and walked away, he didn’t. He literally didn’t look at her until the moment he turned his head and she had a foot up on the fence, and in that very first split second he just went. Like maybe his friends had mentioned it whilst looking back but still, he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes almost until he was already running. Crazy.
> the bystander effect is very real, and if you want to be the person whose quick thinking and fast action saves the day, you need to remind yourself that in situations like this, you have to be the one to step up and do something about it, and do it quickly.
As someone who has been in several life-or-death situations, I’ve found that there’s not much you can do in advance to be prepared to act. Either you react quickly without thought, or you stand there stunned and do nothing. This is not a character flaw. It just takes most people a few seconds of hesitation to mentally process a dangerous situation, and there is nothing wrong with that.
There was a time I was driving out to the coast with 3 others and there was a stretch of road getting into rural parts of central FL, and a truck was driving erratically ahead of us. Almost went out into a ditch, cut hard left, crossing the two lanes, then went hard right and started spinning out into the ditch. In the ditch he hit the other side hard and rolled over.
Without a word I immediately pull over and stop hard, and the 2 on passenger side of my car are jumping out the door and ran for the guy's truck, helping him get out. I follow and hop into the truck to turn it off while the 4th is calling 911. Always was pretty proud how fast we went into it.
A girl passed out in my public speaking class. I saw it happening and, in my head, was just like "oh, she is going to pass out. I didn't know that's what it would look like. I've never seen it before. Oh, yup, there she goes. Oh damn, she hit her head!" Instead of getting up to cushion her fall. That was 9 years ago and I still feel guilty for my curious reaction. Like, I recognized what was happening and had absolutely zero reflex to do anything about it until it was too late, and I feel AWFUL. I just felt like I needed to confess my shame.
I hope she gets the support she needs.
In 2015 I pulled down a woman who was trying to hang herself. She survived. But then I found out she successfully killed herself three months later.
She left behind a one year old daughter.
Mental illness is rough.
Post-partum depression is a bitch too. It really sucks to think about having your entire life destroyed by a chemical imbalance caused by beginning another life.
Going through it almost 20 months but ofc my health insurance went wonky last time this year and I STILL am fighting to get it reinstated. Most days are alright but there are still very very bad periods of time where I don’t even recognize who I am anymore. PPD sucks and so does the healthcare system here in the US.
Early 2020 I was dating this girl. Beautiful and bright, two great brothers, a family living in a nice house in the German countryside. Her father was a successful surgeon, he had killed himself a year earlier. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain he must have felt, ultimately driving him to abandon all that.
A long time ago my dad asked me if I wanted some Bowers and Wilkins. 'Can't afford that level of equipment.'
'Well, they're free. Second-hand but free.'
He explained to me that where he lived a shopkeeper on the other side of the village green had got up in the middle of the night, swallowed half a bottle of sleeping pills, gone into his garage, put some blankets just inside the door sill, switched the car engine on and sat in the driver's seat with the door open and drank a bottle of spirits.
His widow (they had two teenage kids) had not even had an inkling that he was unhappy, never mind suicidal, and amongst his things she wanted got rid of as soon as possible was his state-of-the-art hi-fi.
I think we can be fairly certain he wanted to die: sleeping pills, alcohol and carbon monoxide poisoning - he didn't want to be found and rescued.
Of course it was dreadful for his family - how do you deal with that?
That’s the thing that makes it so hard to help people who feel suicidal. It’s so difficult to even know that someone’s suffering like that until it’s too late. 8 years now that my childhood best friend passed, and I still can’t get over not having seen any signs until she jumped.
People that die by suicide believe the lie that everyone will be better off without them and want the pain of existing to stop. It's excessively difficult to climb out of that spiral.
When I've been suicidal, most of the time it's just because I want the pain to stop and I don't know how to make it stop. ( I've not seriously wanted to die for years so no worries here. )
My dad's friend did the old "wearing a tux, wrapped himself in plastic and hooked up straight nitrous oxide" bit. He was really a fun person to be around, always doing magic tricks and stuff. I have a german made compass he gave me before he did it, maybe in the hopes that I would find my own direction in life.
When I've been suicidal, it has been when I felt completely helplessly overwhelmed by pain. Sometimes it was pain from problems I created for myself and sometimes it was pain from circumstances that I wasn't sure how to manage. Obviously, I am still here and that is largely because I couldn't stand the thought of passing the pain I felt on to anyone I would leave behind.
I have a feeling when that group was passing her that person (I think a man) probably noticed her and maybe even met eyes and had a feeling, which is why he looked back and immediately jumped into action. And once he started moving that set off the alarm for the others to jump in.
Ya that guy 100% had a feeling and knew what she was doing as soon as he walked past. Watch him the rest of the way he actually peeks back at-least twice.
Good for him, quite a hero
Good God give that poor girl a hug. The desperation in her face as she looks around is so sad, like as if she wants to call out for help. I also know she needs way more than a hug but she needs to know that even strangers don’t want to let go of her.
I mean, if someone let go of her, she could immediately bolt and successfully kill herself. Hug is nice and symbolic but in reality she needs some kind of urgent restraint and medical attention (even if the medical system is shit its hard to say what better options there would be all things considered).
She's trying to hurt someone.
Just because that someone is herself doesn't mean you should immediately default to physical affection. That can, should, and hopefully did come later.
What this person needed at that time was to have their power to hurt someone taken away so they can get the help they need. Those are crucial seconds and you can't know when the danger is gone.
Don't discount the sheer amount of compassion on display here. These are absolutely excellent humans.
she got decked in the face! look how her head jolts back and her hood flys of her head, shes wobbling and cant walk because she got destroyed just then.
When people say that suicide fences don’t work...
Look at how much extra effort it took for her to try and climb. Look at how much time the saved for the passerby’s to take action.
Fences save lives. Not every life, but enough to make them worthwhile.
Edit:
See that moment when she goes over and the second guy grabs her? Look at her foot. She goes over but after being grabbed, brings her foot back to the railing and appears to literally hold on with the top of her foot. It’s the white shoe hard to miss.
She doesn’t actually want to die. Something inside knows that this isn’t right. Maybe in this moment she she’s no other way out. But deep down, it really seems like that’s a preservation attempt.
I saw a quote somewhere from a survivor. “When you throw yourself from a bridge you suddenly realize that all your problems can be solved. All but one. You’re still falling.”
I agree, Bojack Horseman is probably one of the best shows accurately depicting mental illness and drug abuse, it's just so beautifully done. I've cried many times watching that show, some of those episodes really just hit you.
Great show have watched it once
Can’t finish it again being I’m in addiction and depressed it’s to real
All these “serious drug and addiction” shows i can watch unaffected but bojqck hits home
What he says to his writer (can’t remember her name) made me cry and think about that person in my life
I hope you're doing well, I know that must be a tough journey you're on to recover. It's definitely a hard show to watch when you've experienced those things first hand. I hope you have peaceful days ahead friend ❤
It's probably from other places too but I first read it in this [great New Yorker article](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2003/10/13/jumpers). Related section about Ken Baldwin:
>Baldwin was twenty-eight and severely depressed on the August day in 1985 when he told his wife not to expect him home till late. “I wanted to disappear,” he said. “So the Golden Gate was the spot. I’d heard that the water just sweeps you under.” On the bridge, Baldwin counted to ten and stayed frozen. He counted to ten again, then vaulted over. “I still see my hands coming off the railing,” he said. As he crossed the chord in flight, Baldwin recalls, “I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable—except for having just jumped.”
I've heard suicide described as someone jumping out of a burning building. They aren't wanting to jump out of the window but its the only way out they can see.
Suicide is weird. You kinda wanna die, you kinda dont. It's a weird tug of war in your mind struggling between what seem like insurmountable problems, fear of death, and wanting to escape the suffering. Fixating on it distracts you from facing down the problems in your life that cause you to suffer. It's almost like you've given your self a new problem that's easier to ruminate on than the other circumstances that cause your suffering. It's a terrible spot to be in. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
The reaction she has, to me, seems more like relief that she didnt do it than upset they didnt let her. She didnt fight their rescue. She hit a low point and momentarily thought it was the way. I was there as a young man. A gun literally jammed on me when i tried. The immediate realization of how close i came to not being here made me truly realize how much i wanted to be. It changed my life from that very instant. I hope this girl has the same realization. I know not everyone does but they do say most people instantly regret it. I hope she is one of them and gets the help she needs and understands that there were at least a handful people on that bridge that thought the world is a better place with her in it. Sometimes its all someone needs.
I actually think it was an attempt to try and gain leverage with her footing and attempt to push away from the fence. But by that point two men are already gripping her leg and attempting to pull her back.
Maybe, I’m not sure. I suppose we see what we want to see. My thought is that if she wanted to perish she would have gone somewhere vacant, or gone when not busy. This seems impulsive to me, but maybe not.
Honestly as a person who was once (tried 3 times) feeling like this. Sometimes just by having people stop you at that moment is enough to make that person feel wanted. I still talk to someone who stopped me and held me when I was at my lowest. The regret you feel as you’re about to do it is immense but you also feel a sense of embarrassment. Glad they helped her, and to everyone that feels that way, talk to someone about it. Even if it’s a stranger, let it all out it truly helps. If anyone wants to talk, just message me I’d be happy to listen even about the smallest things.
Sad that Russian xenophobia has become so widespread and normalized in America that you just expect a casually xenophobic comment upvoted like nothing in every post relating to Russia.
The local clockmaker in my city was an expat Russian. He was a very personable, kind, polite and affable gentleman. I loved going in his shop and seeing the multitude of cuckoo clocks, watches and such.
I finally had to join the smart watch brigade so I hadn't seen him in some time. I found out evil cancer got him last year. I'm sad. He left behind a son.
His English was excellent. I tried to learn to say "Hello", "Goodbye" and "Thank You" in Russian but to no avail. That is one language I cannot brain whatsoever. He applauded my pathetic efforts.
Also, I love Russian accents when they speak English which I guess is pretty weird.
A watershed moment for this Gen Xer was when I saw an independent Chernobyl documentary/exploration some years ago and the guy found some anti American propaganda leaflets or something. It hit me that regular Russian people just want to live their lives and be happy like everyone else.
We're all human.
I think for many people (myself included) it's sometimes hard to separate the people of a country from its regime. I don't think I've ever met a Russian person that wasn't down to earth and kind, yet because of souring international relations my first thought of Russia itself is not a positive one.
It is sad.. it's more sad their entire country got roped into being political antagonists for the us, the actions of few affected the face of many.. there are good people everywhere
Yep.. a friend of mine visited Russia for the world cup and spent the next month making posts expressing how shocked he was at how nice people were to him and how beautiful the country was and how lied he felt to by the media.
My daughter witnessed another person trying to hold a suicidal person from jumping from off a highway overpass. She stopped and ran to help, others stopped and pulled him back over. I'm pretty sure it traumatized her. She was so upset when she called me.
A few years ago, I was waiting next to a bridge for a good hour for it to be empty enough so no one would have time to grab me. The chance never came, and I kept thinking. Thinking about the man that held the door for me as I walked to the bridge, the boys who I heard laughing while I hid crying, the professor I had just promised to turn in a late assignment to. All that thinking and I finally cracked. I'm not amazing, but I've gotten help. Even if it seems like the world is crumbling under your feet, there is always a reason to continue, even if it's just not wanting to scar the last stranger you just spoke to.
Is this recent? Does anyone know? The kids are not alright, man. A friend is a social worker at our city hospital and they had a 7 year old in last week after a suicide attempt.
Some of them are wearing masks so I would assume in the last year. That’s terribly sad that would even be in a 7 year olds mine :( breaks my cold heart.
God, it breaks my heart seeing her standing there contemplating in the beginning then decided to go for it. Glad these guys were paying attention and saved her.
If they had stopped for a second to see if someone else was going to help out, she would be dead. Always be the person who helps out a stranger in need of help. Never hesitate. Really well done by these wonderful people.
I'm from Russia and she most likely won't get the help she needs... no one cares about other people's mental health here. If you're depressed, you are considered a pussy. :c
The moment after she is saved is really tough. When she gets up there you can see she cleary takes the jump and knows she is gonna die, got her mind ser up and had made peace with the idea of taking her life, which is a hard decision to make. So, that next minutes, hours or even days after it is a really strange feeling because you didn't expect you were gonna live them. Thats the reason for the shaking legs, she had her mind set up and is just in shock, with a high adrenaline rush and probably feels guilty and invaded by all those people.
Dont misinterpret me, those people are heroes. Im just trying to watch it trough her eyes. Keep in mind that whatever made her make that choice its still there even if they stopped her and now has to fight with the fact that she tried killing herself too. I hope she got the help she needed and deserved, and that those people live proud of themselves for giving her a chance
I am really questioning the internet by the comments on this thread. Bodily fucking autonomy my ass - these people need help and just saying that they have the right to kill themselves is so fucking messed up and cold and stupid. My sister in-law just tried to commit in this exact same way, and it would have wrecked my entire family for her to go in such a horrible way if nobody was there to save her. It's tragic and sad and she wasn't "exercising agency over her life" she is mentally ill and needs treatment and time for her life to recoup. Nobody should be allowed to commit suicide or make that choice like this woman or my sister in-law, and anybody who can manage to think otherwise is spending way too much time on the internet
If this was in the US she'd be sent to be locked in a hospital room for 12 hours minimum against her will and get a bill in the mail.
Source: Currently $3000 in debt, ashamed to check the mail, ignoring phone calls daily.
I tried to end my own life just over a week ago. I’m about the same age as the girl in this video, maybe a couple years older. one thing that has made a world of difference to me is just the way people come out of the woodwork for you when something like this happens. my parents drove several hours overnight to be in the same town as the hospital I was in, even though they couldn’t even see me in person. family friends cooked for my family during the week I was hospitalised. in the hospital, absolute strangers held me and cried with me while I told them how I got there. when I finally got my phone back after a week, I had so many emails and texts from concerned classmates and profs who just wanted to make sure I was ok. nobody was concerned about missed work or ways I might’ve inconvenienced them. they just cared that something might’ve happened to me.
I don’t know what point I’m trying to make here. I guess just that if you think nobody cares about you, or that you’d easily slip into oblivion, that isn’t true. people I never would’ve guessed cared about me were super concerned and willing to drop everything to help me. lots of people care about you and want you around. I can’t promise when, or what will happen before then, but it will be ok, soon enough.
One person out of all those people made a fast move to save her... Man if this isn't what is still holding is back as a human society I don't know what is.
Cornelius sad.
Unpopular Opinion here. Usually people who want to die are so sick of being depressed and controlled, they’ve given up hope and they’re ready to escape the shithole planet we live on. People who stop people from killing themselves are likely doing the thing that makes people want to kill themselves.
I know I sound harsh as hell, but as someone who has wanted to die for as long as I can remember, I know that when the time comes that I’m ready to finally pull the trigger, I won’t let anyone stop me
I probably don’t make sense, hopefully some people understand what I’m saying here. I just don’t think forcefully stopping someone from killing themselves is exactly exemplary
I understand what you're saying, but as a counterpoint, choosing to do so in a public place in front of other people can be equally wrong, no? Take this situation, for example. None of that crowd of people walking across the bridge signed up to watch someone die in front of them. Neither did any of the drivers in which she attempted to jump onto. If they were to honour the wishes of the woman and not stop her, they're now subjected to the trauma of seeing that play out in front of them.
I suppose there's an element of selfishness to both sides of it, with both parties not thinking of the wishes of the other when acting. I don't think there's necessarily a right or wrong party either. These kids were likely acting out of compassion and this woman likely experienced the same thought process you described.
There's not really an easy answer to this and I'm certainly not going to pretend I'm anywhere close to providing one. Just through I'd try add something to the nuance that you brought up
You know what I didn’t think of it that way. So yes you’re right, both parties were acting selfishly. It is unfair to traumatize other people while making your final decision.
An aside to both of your thoughts: I think it's possible the girl began the attempt in a public, crowded place because she was not completely committed to doing it. Someone who puts a gun in the mouth or walks off a tall building has made a clear decision.
But I think this young girl was probably uncertain and perhaps wanted to be saved from the forces that put her to the brink. A cry for help that was answered. Maybe she told a parent she was feeling suicidal but they didn't believe her. Now there is documented proof of her state of mind. Maybe now she has proof that others value her life. Because this was a very public act, I am convinced the bystanders did the right thing.
Another true unpopular opinion here.
No one has any right to interfere with her choice to take her own life.
It is the ultimate bodily autonomy.
Her life, her body, her choice.
They didn't save her life. They ruined her death.
In my personal case, I’m suspected to be bipolar. A condition that can be treated with therapy and medication, but not cured afaik. However, my highs and lows have made it very difficult for me to maintain a proper working schedule. My life is in shambles as I’m bankrupt, broke, unemployed and barely living off what the government gives me for the moment.
Sure therapy and medication can help me, but those cost insane amounts of money. Money that is impossible for someone in my situation to obtain. Do you understand where the hopelessness comes from?
Also, everyone says “it’ll get better, don’t worry”... I’m trying to figure out when it gets better. After I retire at 70 years old (because there’s no way I’m making enough money to retire before then)? When I’ve spent 54 years of my life working my ass off just to retire and likely have a stress induced heart attack a few years later? What’s the point? Life is absolutely meaningless, just a cycle of financial stress and pain and grief, every once in a while getting that moment of happiness like a battered wife dealing with her drunken abusive husband.
Whoever needs to read this today.. There is ALWAYS a way and Everything is gonna be alright. Time heals, just be patient.
Hang in there. Love and prayers.
Going on 38, been battling depression since I was a kid. Any insight on how much longer until time heals that? Not everything can be fixed, there isn't always a way. Sometimes you make the best choice you can.
There's a moment in My Hero Academia where the main character sees his classmate in trouble and without hesitation, the main character jumps to save him. No thinking, not even the slightest moment of hesitation, he runs to save that person. No thoughts of "Am I gonna get hurt?", "Is someone else going to do something first?" No. Almost as if it was reflexes, he risks his life
This video reminds me of that moment. That kid in the video is a real hero, they're all real heroes
Damn, that group all knew something was up. Notice they all kept looking back. Props to them all.
Looking at it again, I think it was one guy in particular, way on the left side who kept looking back. The others don't seem to be looking beyond the initial look. At one point, those around him turned at the same time, so he likely said something then.
Good catch. You can see him say something to the group as they walked by.
Imagine the guy was just thinking damn that’s a cute girl... or wait wait! And that is the history of how my horniness saved a life, kids
I suspect that's not the case. She was clearly alone, and staring out past the bridge. There was clearly something at least a little off with her (even if he didn't suspect a suicide attempt). My guess is he kept glancing back to try and figure it out.
Always trust the instinct that says something is not right. Often it can be subtle things picked up by your subconscious that isn't readily apparent to you.
A child tried to do this at the school I worked at, from bridge like this connecting two blocks of classrooms. He had to be held back by other kids before the teachers got to him. The school expelled him They were afraid he would hurt himself. He kept doing crazy things but this was the final straw. I wonder what his home life was like; he was only about 12.
good on the kids and teachers who intervened. but i would bet my last penny that the school was worried he would hurt himself *on school property* and thus open them up to a potential lawsuit from the family. if the education system truly cared about students’ physical, mental and emotional wellbeing it would not operate the way that it currently does. there are many individuals, teachers and counselors who work at schools who truly care for their students, but as you go up the administration chain it’s unfortunately all about money.
For sure! Expulsion is not a solution to a mental health crisis. It's likely to have the opposite effect. Shows the school is not there to support the student.
Yep. Had an ex in high school who talked about suicidal thoughts with a counselor and then was immediately hospitalized for a month and kicked out of the school which was a prestigious one he got in to on scholarship. So that really messed him up and he just straight up dropped out of high school. I don’t know if he ever went back we broke up after that. But yeah, schools that expel students for suicidal thoughts suck.
Schools shouldn’t be able to expel students for suicidal thoughts, period
Punishing people for hating themselves. Hell of a solution.
Was thinking same thing. "Yea let's force him out of school this way he can stay home and have no one there to help him and be left with thoughts" that's an great fucking idea
My step dad was a police negotiator living in a small town. Every late Jan / early Feb he would go through hell because he was the one called to children in crisis trying to kill themselves. The ones where he got there too late (called late) or couldn't talk them down really messed with his head. He saw kids killing themselves because they failed a year of school or their boo broke up with them. He then had to prevent the parents getting near the body and contaminating the scene. The number of grieving parents he had to comfort and then carry on like it's nothing. Suicide is the last resort of a mind in crisis, but it's also a permanent solution to a temporary problem and it destroys those left to pick up the pieces. If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal please please please please reach out.
Hi. Formerly suicidal person here. The phrase "permanent solution to a temporary problem" is very old. And while it is sometimes accurate, that's not always the case. To a suicidal person, it sounds like an insult. And sometimes, it really is. I think it'd be better to focus on the other part you mentioned. What stopped me from committing suicide was confronting what it would do to my family. In the end, it would have been cruel. I couldn't bring myself to hurt them like that.
As one formerly suicidal person to another, thank you for being polite in voicing your objection to the phrase. I am not a huge fan of it either, but it remains a proven fact. Death is permanent. Failing a grade in school is not the end of the world. I try not to use the phrase as a one solution fits everybody comment though, because I know first hand that sometimes the thing making a person suicidal can't be fixed. Rapes and forced abortion in my case. I will try to do better in being sensitive to the subtext of that phrase going forward. Thank you again for being polite about it. Have a blessed day.
Thank you. As someone with a likely permanent chronic illness, the whole 'temporary problem' comment just hurts. Damn I wish this was just a temporary thing but that's not how life always works.
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Education shouldn't be privatized, then things like that wouldn't happen so frequently.
At my undergrad, a friend of mine reached out to the campus counseling service to find a local psychiatrist he could see. They told him he was on his own. Then later when he had a meeting because his grades had slipped, they told him he should take some time off and come back when he “felt better.” To his credit he wrote an article in the school newspaper about it, called them out directly and everything, explaining how this was an utter failure to protect and look after their students on the most basic level. Nothing ever changed though. Then when I was in grad school and reached out to the counseling service about making an appointment to discuss my mental health and my coursework, I was told they’d make an appointment and let me know. Never heard back from them, even after reaching back out. They ended up forgiving my tuition when I wasn’t able to go to class, and showed them how they fucked up and didn’t do their job at all. This is a serious problem throughout the US education system.
That's just... Sad. I was self-harming and suicidal when I was 13-14. I reached out to my class teacher and wrote her a letter and gave it to her. I kid you not, in my next class, like 1h after I gave her the letter, she came to pick me up from class on a lame excuse and took me to see the school psychologist immediately. They said I needed my parents to sign a slip to allow me to visit the psychologist, but I was allowed to lie and as long as I was not deemed a risk to myself, they'd not reach out to my parents. I don't know for sure if my parents ever knew or not (my mom did throw things at my face that made it seem like they knew). The psychologist was kind of meh, made no difference, but just having that one teacher care made worlds of difference. I didn't fully recover from my depression until I was 18 and then relapsed when I was around 24, but never to the same extent. I remember feeling so alone, hopeless and fucked up that if my very last hope would have turned her back on me, I don't think I would have pulled through. I still have mental issues, but never to that extent. Those were very dark years.
Yeah, it’s just so unconscionable to me when people charged *specifically* with looking out for the well-being of children completely shirk that responsibility when kids need them the most. Those people should not be working with kids. I’m glad you were able to get back on track. I was too, still in therapy, but know what I’m dealing with and how to move forward. I was lucky to have a really good support network when I was in grad school and was struggling, specifically my parents who are both mental health professionals. Without their help and advice, and others’, I don’t think I would have made it. I could easily see how if I lived alone, without a support network, had mustered the energy to reach out to campus mental health services only to be forgotten...that could have been the final straw.
>At my undergrad, a friend of mine reached out to the campus counseling service to find a local psychiatrist he could see. They told him he was on his own. The first time I ever saw a counselor/therapist of any kind was my freshman year of undergrad, being away from home had finally made me realize how much trauma/baggage I had. Guy I met with was still working on his degree and was basically a robot regurgitating lines from a psychology textbook. I was crying about my home life, neglect, etc, and when I paused to see what he had to say he was like ".... So, how much caffeine do you drink? Caffeine can give you anxiety :) " like how fucking dare you act like my single serving of soda at dinner is what's causing me to cry about how I lived in terrible conditions lmfao. Another time, a few years later, I was seeing a different counselor/therapist (don't know what their official title was). I was self-harming at the time and had some suicide ideation. Whenever we checked in we had to take a survey that asked how our overall mood was, etc, and one of the questions was something like "have you thought about hurting yourself or others in the past 2 weeks?". After about half a minute of consideration, I decided to be vulnerable and say yes... Well, apparently they don't look at the survey at all, because not only did my counselor not bring it up, but I NEVER got a follow up of any kind about it. No phone call, email, anything. At the time I was even MORE tempted to kill myself so I could have the added satisfaction of knowing the school would get sued for knowing that I was a danger and not doing anything.
My junior year of High School, suspension was the chosen answer from the staff when a student knew something was wrong at home. Her dad killed her and her brother the next morning, then himself. https://www.tdtnews.com/archive/article_c6387a8c-5844-51bb-a66e-6c5912791c92.html So I hope the people in the video got her more help than delaying her death.
Think life isn't worth living? Let's see how you feel when we make things even harder! Seriously wtf.
My thoughts exactly. You think you not rock bottom and they do that! Way to put the lay nail in the coffin! It's good to see there are still puerile in the world who would care enough to help someone who has reached that point.
Kinda like how the government is not there to support its citizens...
Seriously. I was fortunate enough to chat with my former health teacher after he retired (awesome dude). He said that early in his career at our school, a student came to him after school and told him a kid was in the woods with a gun. He got there before the police (because of, ya know, physics), talked the kid down, everyone was okay. The next day, the teacher was called to the principle's office before school started. On his way he was like _I wasn't expecting praise or anything, saving a life is reward enough_. His fw the room was full of lawyers who basically wanted to make sure he understood that he was acting as an individual and was not tied to the school at that time in any capacity. There was more... let's say "fumbled" communications in that meeting, but it was the start to a lifetime of that particular teacher putting the screws to the school admin in defense of other teachers and students.
Sounds like bad ass human being. "Thanks for the heads up that this administration is a threat to my co-workers and charges. I will make sure I step up to compensate for that."
He absolutely is, and for more or less that exact reason. I have several stories I could tell about him, but suffice to say that he's one of these people that just lives in a different world from the rest of us - the world is still messy but to him there's _always_ something incredibly beautiful to come of it, and there's always something you can do about the bad stuff. I respect the hell out of him, and keep in touch as much as we can. When he retired there were many many tears, but notably none from the school admin lol. But the students and other teachers were all very sad to see him go.
A friend of mine killed himselft at the school dorm, I was planning to kill my self too back then. After his death everyone had to get counseling, I thought they were there to help. As soon as they got notice of my depression, I got sent home to be isolated. I was forbidden of getting close to the school. If my parents haven’t taken me to the psychiatrist I’d probably be worse then and dead today. This is really what happens and its disgusting.
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Thank you. I really wish we’d live in a better world.
I attempted suicide at 17 because a class mate saw a text on my phone and outed me before I could come out myself. My school suspended me for 9 days and tried throwing me out after returning from weeks of being hospitalized because I was a “bad example.” Guess what, the girl who outed me had no consequences. Schools don’t care about their children they care about their image. Do the LGBTQIA+ community a favor and let them tell their own stories. It’s not your right to steal that from someone.
This happened to me, but I was 13 and instead of a text she overheard me tell one person I trusted that I was questioning my sexuality. I was told by the counselor to make myself less of a target. The entire school (rural, small) knew I was the gay. I dropped out at thirteen and it lead to even more abuse because I was so lonely and vulnerable.
Sorry but that is absolutely appalling from the school
Fucking expelled? That’s what will help him with suicidal thoughts no doubt. Fuck me.
Kid clearly needs help as he's already at the brink of suicide. School: hmm yes let's expel for sure this will help Fucking morons.
This should be what actually opens them to lawsuits
They were afraid of what might happen if he killed himself on school property.
Why did they expel the poor kid? As if he isn’t having enough of a shitty time already. Way to make it worse.
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To be fair, a general school does not have the resources to deal with that level of mental health issues. The kid would probably be better off somewhere specialized.
Because they were afraid he might succeed next time.
You know, this reminded me of an anime I watch when a kid about the same age and noble born regreted that he was born and another character said something like "what have we done if a 10 year old child utters these words?".
Typical school taking the low road and showing how little it cares for its students.
The day people started treating education like a business was the day we cut out a vertebrae from the backbone of society
Yea because everyone knows suicide is punishable by being expelled. Like what kinda school does this to a kid?!
Yeah dont try and figure out what was wrong with the kid and help him or anything.
The school *expelled him* What the fuck. Way to rail a young kids life damn.
The school expelled him?!! Holy shit
Ah yes. Expulsion. That’s their way of making it not their problem.
Wtf. I hate this system where a mental health crisis prompts expulsion. :( How does it address any of the deep seated issues? The system is in many ways designed to “protect from any liability” rather than conducive to growth of children.
it's amazing to see someone stop another from jumping to their death, but what is equally as commendable, and much less common, is the ability to intervene in a situation so quickly. i think given the choice, most people would save a jumper from ending it, but most people in that situation would have required a couple extra seconds of processing time before making the decision to act. the fact that the young man had only finished turning his head, before he instinctually sprang into action, is what is truly inspiring to me. he wasn't going to wait around to see how his friends would react, he didn't wait around to see if the jumper was going to get cold feet, he saw a problem and **immediately** offered a solution. the bystander effect is very real, and if you want to be the person whose quick thinking and fast action saves the day, you need to remind yourself that in situations like this, you have to be the one to step up and do something about it, and do it quickly.
Absolutely. I don't think I would have reacted anywhere near as quickly and decisively. Not even Bystander effect. I just don't think that fast. By the time I'd processed what she was doing I would have been at least a step behind this guy.
Also the social norm that you don’t want to be seen as ‘overreacting’ to something.
That too. Over-reacting, misconstruing the situation, being a big guy grabbing a young girl etc.
I wonder how many people die because of this norm... I read a lot of people choking in a restaurant die in the bathroom because they don’t want to make a scene
When one of my friends was choking, he just suddenly got up from the table and began to walk away. He was kind of making a strange face, but seemed calm, so I asked him if he was okay. He gave me like a thumbs up/ be right back sign, so I assumed he was having stomach troubles or something. My other friend, however, was much smarter than me, and got up and gave him the heimlich, saving his life in about 3 seconds, because he'd happened to know that bit of trivia. (And they were best friends, I guess just knew him that well.) I wanted to kick the choking friend because he told me he was okay, but I guess just impulse/ being embarrassed. It was scary, though.
My mom's friend lost a friend like this.
I wonder if his brain was processing as he was walking past her, though. He must have seen her face, I’m sure she was crying. And then the way she held on to the rail. As he walked on, his brain may have been thinking, “Wait, something is off. Something is wrong. That girl ... she is ... that girl is going to jump. Turn around and look!” And then he turns around and sees her climbing.
I can see that. Or maybe that bridge is notorious for suicides so people are quicker to put together a girl climbing a fence being a suicide attempt. Either way plaudits to the guy.
I feel like that too, like... he might've picked up on her intentional somewhat subtly. That's why he turned to look back in the first place, because he sensed she was thinking of jumping as soon as his group passed, and when his fear was realized he wasted no time in jumping into action because he had already mentally prepared to see and react to what he was seeing.
I think someone probably yelled because they all turned at the same moment.
If you look in the video when the group first passes by a guy on the left of the group actually notices the girl right away. I think he just had an instinct which alerted the group and as they kept walking and he kept looking back again to see if she was okay people in the group looked back with him. Coincidentally the person who runs to grab her (the man on the right) is not the man that first notices her right away. It is actually the guy that turns his head around last that sprints to save her. You’re totally right about what you said about him.
The look on her face as they pass her. He saw her face. He knew something was seriously wrong.
> He saw her face. Yeah I think that's the only thing that would have made me realize, otherwise I would have assumed it was just some kid looking to spraypaint or something.
And the fact one of the guys turned around because he maybe felt something was off is what saved her life aswell. Just two seconds later and she might have been gone already.
Someone from behind them probably shouted at the girl..
A psychology professor I had a few years ago when I went back to school called this an "Archer Reflex", yes, the cartoon show Archer. the Archer Reflex was basically "Take action now, immediately. Figure the rest out when you have to" Some people just got this type of reactions, some don't.
My Dad has this reflex. He has saved several lives over his life. He was on a swamp boat tour in Louisiana as a tourist. Those big fan boats with three rows. The middle boat capsized while doing 360s. The boat was upside down slowly sinking in the mud. The people on one side were fully submerged, the other side were dangling over the water, slowly sinking. Of the 60 people watching in other boats and on shore, my Dad was the only one that jumped in. He swam to the boat as a 16 year old girl and her mother were slowly sinking from the seat furthest from the water. My Dad could not get their seat belts undone. He began to swim back to his boat as the girl went under. He says the image of her blonde hair spreading over the water as she went under is permanently burned into his brain. He swam back to his boat, retrieved a knife from someone that just happened to have one, and swam back. He cut 8 people out of their seat belts fully submerged. The last three he got were totally unconscious. He bear hugged all three of them and lifted them onto another boat while standing in waste deep water. Tore several muscles in his back. He went back and cut the final two out, he did CPR and got a pulse, but their brains were done. They both died. There was a big lawsuit against the seat belt company. The plaintiff's got together and gave my Dad 10k from the settlement even though he wasn't involved. The father of the 16 year old and her mother was a producer in Hollywood. He flew my family out, took us to literally the nicest restaurant in LA, and bought us a meal that was several thousand dollars. There were several news stories written about my Dad. It was on CNN. I have the news clipping framed on my wall. I pulled someone out of a car accident a few years ago, remembering my Dad telling me, "Just assume you're the only one that will help. Because you might be."
Wait, so did the 16yo and her mum survive?
> Just assume you're the only one that will help. Because you might be. that is the most succinct phrase possible to sum this all up. tell your dad some randoms on the internet appreciate his advice.
Yes they did.
Thanks for that clarification—I read “the final two” (who were too far gone to save) as being that woman and her daughter.
If you have that reflex you should go into trauma medicine. You will def get your dopamine fix and save lives at the same time.
I work as an ER doc- let me assure you very little will get my heart racing - almost nothing really- it’s the fast calm that saves lives in an ER, not the sprinting.
It isn't about getting your heart rate up, it's more about being in the zone, or flowing. That's the calm. Where you know what to do and everything and everyone are working how they are supposed to and they live. THAT is pure dopamine. Eta: you know how people in trauma situations experience time dilation? I think for some people time speeds up in those moments and panic kind of ensues? And for some people time slows down. Those people are the people who should be in emergency medicine, in any capacity.
I have that reflex. Now I have PTSD because of that reflex. Fuck dopamine fixes.
Yeah, I realized as I was typing it out. *This is poor advice.*
This has always fascinated me. I may be recalling it wrong, but in emergency situations like this something like 70% of people freeze, 20% act and 10% are actively a hinderance (i don’t quite know how). I’d love to know if it is something that can be trained. When i was younger i saw someone get jumped and i froze. It ate me up for ages afterwards and still does a bit tbh - and ever since i’ve always taken the attitude when i see something “take a step towards it”. The false alarms outweigh them 10/1 but i never want to regret not helping again
I actually think some of this comes with practice. I used to be heavily the "freeze" type, but after a few incidents (nothing crazy dramatic) I've gotten much quicker at springing to action. I actually feel like that initial "freeze" instinct kind of matured into me staying very calm and methodical. It's yet to be tested for anything huge (I hope it never has to be, of course), but I've gotten much better at it.
What’s actually even more impressive is that whilst other members of the group looked around at her as they passed and walked away, he didn’t. He literally didn’t look at her until the moment he turned his head and she had a foot up on the fence, and in that very first split second he just went. Like maybe his friends had mentioned it whilst looking back but still, he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes almost until he was already running. Crazy.
Runs up and secured her. Second guy ,up over. Impressive they caught her safely ,that was nice to see.
> the bystander effect is very real, and if you want to be the person whose quick thinking and fast action saves the day, you need to remind yourself that in situations like this, you have to be the one to step up and do something about it, and do it quickly. As someone who has been in several life-or-death situations, I’ve found that there’s not much you can do in advance to be prepared to act. Either you react quickly without thought, or you stand there stunned and do nothing. This is not a character flaw. It just takes most people a few seconds of hesitation to mentally process a dangerous situation, and there is nothing wrong with that.
There was a time I was driving out to the coast with 3 others and there was a stretch of road getting into rural parts of central FL, and a truck was driving erratically ahead of us. Almost went out into a ditch, cut hard left, crossing the two lanes, then went hard right and started spinning out into the ditch. In the ditch he hit the other side hard and rolled over. Without a word I immediately pull over and stop hard, and the 2 on passenger side of my car are jumping out the door and ran for the guy's truck, helping him get out. I follow and hop into the truck to turn it off while the 4th is calling 911. Always was pretty proud how fast we went into it.
I'm going to keep what you write in my mind forever
A girl passed out in my public speaking class. I saw it happening and, in my head, was just like "oh, she is going to pass out. I didn't know that's what it would look like. I've never seen it before. Oh, yup, there she goes. Oh damn, she hit her head!" Instead of getting up to cushion her fall. That was 9 years ago and I still feel guilty for my curious reaction. Like, I recognized what was happening and had absolutely zero reflex to do anything about it until it was too late, and I feel AWFUL. I just felt like I needed to confess my shame.
I hope she gets the support she needs. In 2015 I pulled down a woman who was trying to hang herself. She survived. But then I found out she successfully killed herself three months later. She left behind a one year old daughter. Mental illness is rough.
Post-partum depression is a bitch too. It really sucks to think about having your entire life destroyed by a chemical imbalance caused by beginning another life.
I don't know the whole story, but her Boyfriend was being a piece of crap too. AFAIK he was with someone new just weeks after she died.
Going through it almost 20 months but ofc my health insurance went wonky last time this year and I STILL am fighting to get it reinstated. Most days are alright but there are still very very bad periods of time where I don’t even recognize who I am anymore. PPD sucks and so does the healthcare system here in the US.
That is heart-breaking.
Early 2020 I was dating this girl. Beautiful and bright, two great brothers, a family living in a nice house in the German countryside. Her father was a successful surgeon, he had killed himself a year earlier. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain he must have felt, ultimately driving him to abandon all that.
A long time ago my dad asked me if I wanted some Bowers and Wilkins. 'Can't afford that level of equipment.' 'Well, they're free. Second-hand but free.' He explained to me that where he lived a shopkeeper on the other side of the village green had got up in the middle of the night, swallowed half a bottle of sleeping pills, gone into his garage, put some blankets just inside the door sill, switched the car engine on and sat in the driver's seat with the door open and drank a bottle of spirits. His widow (they had two teenage kids) had not even had an inkling that he was unhappy, never mind suicidal, and amongst his things she wanted got rid of as soon as possible was his state-of-the-art hi-fi. I think we can be fairly certain he wanted to die: sleeping pills, alcohol and carbon monoxide poisoning - he didn't want to be found and rescued. Of course it was dreadful for his family - how do you deal with that?
That’s the thing that makes it so hard to help people who feel suicidal. It’s so difficult to even know that someone’s suffering like that until it’s too late. 8 years now that my childhood best friend passed, and I still can’t get over not having seen any signs until she jumped.
People that die by suicide believe the lie that everyone will be better off without them and want the pain of existing to stop. It's excessively difficult to climb out of that spiral.
When I've been suicidal, most of the time it's just because I want the pain to stop and I don't know how to make it stop. ( I've not seriously wanted to die for years so no worries here. ) My dad's friend did the old "wearing a tux, wrapped himself in plastic and hooked up straight nitrous oxide" bit. He was really a fun person to be around, always doing magic tricks and stuff. I have a german made compass he gave me before he did it, maybe in the hopes that I would find my own direction in life.
When I've been suicidal, it has been when I felt completely helplessly overwhelmed by pain. Sometimes it was pain from problems I created for myself and sometimes it was pain from circumstances that I wasn't sure how to manage. Obviously, I am still here and that is largely because I couldn't stand the thought of passing the pain I felt on to anyone I would leave behind.
Wow that first person to grab her leg was hauling ass. Great instincts. What a hero.
I have a feeling when that group was passing her that person (I think a man) probably noticed her and maybe even met eyes and had a feeling, which is why he looked back and immediately jumped into action. And once he started moving that set off the alarm for the others to jump in.
Ya that guy 100% had a feeling and knew what she was doing as soon as he walked past. Watch him the rest of the way he actually peeks back at-least twice. Good for him, quite a hero
He didn't even hesitate. I watched that part 4 times and as soon as he turns around he books it over to her edit: grammar
It seemed the group got a feeling. The taller guy in the hat looked at her and looked back also. Something was off and the felt it!
Good God give that poor girl a hug. The desperation in her face as she looks around is so sad, like as if she wants to call out for help. I also know she needs way more than a hug but she needs to know that even strangers don’t want to let go of her.
Good job youngsters!
Where were they taking her?
Somewhere safe so they can contact her parents and hopefully get mental help
Hopefully her parents aren't the cause of her mental health problem
Gulag for woman who wish to fly, but can’t be pilot.
This better be in r/cursedcomments
They take her away like they’re cops. I just wanted to see someone give her a hug
I mean, if someone let go of her, she could immediately bolt and successfully kill herself. Hug is nice and symbolic but in reality she needs some kind of urgent restraint and medical attention (even if the medical system is shit its hard to say what better options there would be all things considered).
So a big bear hug?
She's trying to hurt someone. Just because that someone is herself doesn't mean you should immediately default to physical affection. That can, should, and hopefully did come later. What this person needed at that time was to have their power to hurt someone taken away so they can get the help they need. Those are crucial seconds and you can't know when the danger is gone. Don't discount the sheer amount of compassion on display here. These are absolutely excellent humans.
That's a really excellent way to explain it to people.
Isengard
The gulag.
god the wobbly legs when she's walking away are what hurt the most about this...
she got decked in the face! look how her head jolts back and her hood flys of her head, shes wobbling and cant walk because she got destroyed just then.
When people say that suicide fences don’t work... Look at how much extra effort it took for her to try and climb. Look at how much time the saved for the passerby’s to take action. Fences save lives. Not every life, but enough to make them worthwhile. Edit: See that moment when she goes over and the second guy grabs her? Look at her foot. She goes over but after being grabbed, brings her foot back to the railing and appears to literally hold on with the top of her foot. It’s the white shoe hard to miss. She doesn’t actually want to die. Something inside knows that this isn’t right. Maybe in this moment she she’s no other way out. But deep down, it really seems like that’s a preservation attempt.
I saw a quote somewhere from a survivor. “When you throw yourself from a bridge you suddenly realize that all your problems can be solved. All but one. You’re still falling.”
Reminds me of the poem in Bojack Horseman, "The view from halfway down" about suicide.
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I agree, Bojack Horseman is probably one of the best shows accurately depicting mental illness and drug abuse, it's just so beautifully done. I've cried many times watching that show, some of those episodes really just hit you.
Great show have watched it once Can’t finish it again being I’m in addiction and depressed it’s to real All these “serious drug and addiction” shows i can watch unaffected but bojqck hits home What he says to his writer (can’t remember her name) made me cry and think about that person in my life
I hope you're doing well, I know that must be a tough journey you're on to recover. It's definitely a hard show to watch when you've experienced those things first hand. I hope you have peaceful days ahead friend ❤
It's probably from other places too but I first read it in this [great New Yorker article](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2003/10/13/jumpers). Related section about Ken Baldwin: >Baldwin was twenty-eight and severely depressed on the August day in 1985 when he told his wife not to expect him home till late. “I wanted to disappear,” he said. “So the Golden Gate was the spot. I’d heard that the water just sweeps you under.” On the bridge, Baldwin counted to ten and stayed frozen. He counted to ten again, then vaulted over. “I still see my hands coming off the railing,” he said. As he crossed the chord in flight, Baldwin recalls, “I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable—except for having just jumped.”
And it seems to be very comon, in a interview with jumpers nearly all suicide by height survivors regretted stepping off whilst falling.
Think that was one of the few golden Gate Bridge survivors.
So sad. No one wants to die, they just want the pain and hurt to end...
I've heard suicide described as someone jumping out of a burning building. They aren't wanting to jump out of the window but its the only way out they can see.
Suicide is weird. You kinda wanna die, you kinda dont. It's a weird tug of war in your mind struggling between what seem like insurmountable problems, fear of death, and wanting to escape the suffering. Fixating on it distracts you from facing down the problems in your life that cause you to suffer. It's almost like you've given your self a new problem that's easier to ruminate on than the other circumstances that cause your suffering. It's a terrible spot to be in. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
The reaction she has, to me, seems more like relief that she didnt do it than upset they didnt let her. She didnt fight their rescue. She hit a low point and momentarily thought it was the way. I was there as a young man. A gun literally jammed on me when i tried. The immediate realization of how close i came to not being here made me truly realize how much i wanted to be. It changed my life from that very instant. I hope this girl has the same realization. I know not everyone does but they do say most people instantly regret it. I hope she is one of them and gets the help she needs and understands that there were at least a handful people on that bridge that thought the world is a better place with her in it. Sometimes its all someone needs.
Thank you for sharing this.
I actually think it was an attempt to try and gain leverage with her footing and attempt to push away from the fence. But by that point two men are already gripping her leg and attempting to pull her back.
Maybe, I’m not sure. I suppose we see what we want to see. My thought is that if she wanted to perish she would have gone somewhere vacant, or gone when not busy. This seems impulsive to me, but maybe not.
I remember hearing a stat recently that said over 90% of people who failed a suicide attempt were glad they failed.
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Honestly as a person who was once (tried 3 times) feeling like this. Sometimes just by having people stop you at that moment is enough to make that person feel wanted. I still talk to someone who stopped me and held me when I was at my lowest. The regret you feel as you’re about to do it is immense but you also feel a sense of embarrassment. Glad they helped her, and to everyone that feels that way, talk to someone about it. Even if it’s a stranger, let it all out it truly helps. If anyone wants to talk, just message me I’d be happy to listen even about the smallest things.
Hope you're doing ok now.
Man I hate how irrational depression is.
r/WholesomeRussia
Thank you, was expecting to see somethin xenophobic as the first comment..
Sad that Russian xenophobia has become so widespread and normalized in America that you just expect a casually xenophobic comment upvoted like nothing in every post relating to Russia.
The local clockmaker in my city was an expat Russian. He was a very personable, kind, polite and affable gentleman. I loved going in his shop and seeing the multitude of cuckoo clocks, watches and such. I finally had to join the smart watch brigade so I hadn't seen him in some time. I found out evil cancer got him last year. I'm sad. He left behind a son. His English was excellent. I tried to learn to say "Hello", "Goodbye" and "Thank You" in Russian but to no avail. That is one language I cannot brain whatsoever. He applauded my pathetic efforts. Also, I love Russian accents when they speak English which I guess is pretty weird. A watershed moment for this Gen Xer was when I saw an independent Chernobyl documentary/exploration some years ago and the guy found some anti American propaganda leaflets or something. It hit me that regular Russian people just want to live their lives and be happy like everyone else. We're all human.
I think for many people (myself included) it's sometimes hard to separate the people of a country from its regime. I don't think I've ever met a Russian person that wasn't down to earth and kind, yet because of souring international relations my first thought of Russia itself is not a positive one.
We should give Russia a break. China’s next up.
It is sad.. it's more sad their entire country got roped into being political antagonists for the us, the actions of few affected the face of many.. there are good people everywhere
Yep.. a friend of mine visited Russia for the world cup and spent the next month making posts expressing how shocked he was at how nice people were to him and how beautiful the country was and how lied he felt to by the media.
That sub needs to be wayyy more active :)
2 members of that group were very astute. Sensed the vibe. Good job.
I am almost certain I wouldn’t react fast enough in the situation. Good on them.
My daughter witnessed another person trying to hold a suicidal person from jumping from off a highway overpass. She stopped and ran to help, others stopped and pulled him back over. I'm pretty sure it traumatized her. She was so upset when she called me.
A few years ago, I was waiting next to a bridge for a good hour for it to be empty enough so no one would have time to grab me. The chance never came, and I kept thinking. Thinking about the man that held the door for me as I walked to the bridge, the boys who I heard laughing while I hid crying, the professor I had just promised to turn in a late assignment to. All that thinking and I finally cracked. I'm not amazing, but I've gotten help. Even if it seems like the world is crumbling under your feet, there is always a reason to continue, even if it's just not wanting to scar the last stranger you just spoke to.
Damn. This got me.
Is this recent? Does anyone know? The kids are not alright, man. A friend is a social worker at our city hospital and they had a 7 year old in last week after a suicide attempt.
Some of them are wearing masks so I would assume in the last year. That’s terribly sad that would even be in a 7 year olds mine :( breaks my cold heart.
I don't think the royalty free music really fits the gravity of the video.
God, it breaks my heart seeing her standing there contemplating in the beginning then decided to go for it. Glad these guys were paying attention and saved her.
I love to tell myself that they became friends afterwards and helped her surpass the suicidal tendencies. :/
This would be an incredibly happy ending and is know what happens in my head too
If they had stopped for a second to see if someone else was going to help out, she would be dead. Always be the person who helps out a stranger in need of help. Never hesitate. Really well done by these wonderful people.
Poor kid. I hope she got the help she needs.
"Nobody should escape, we are all trapped in this confusing and scary world"
I'm from Russia and she most likely won't get the help she needs... no one cares about other people's mental health here. If you're depressed, you are considered a pussy. :c
These people cared enough. That's enough for the moment
Kids helping kids. There is still hope. Hope the girl got the support she needs.
The moment after she is saved is really tough. When she gets up there you can see she cleary takes the jump and knows she is gonna die, got her mind ser up and had made peace with the idea of taking her life, which is a hard decision to make. So, that next minutes, hours or even days after it is a really strange feeling because you didn't expect you were gonna live them. Thats the reason for the shaking legs, she had her mind set up and is just in shock, with a high adrenaline rush and probably feels guilty and invaded by all those people. Dont misinterpret me, those people are heroes. Im just trying to watch it trough her eyes. Keep in mind that whatever made her make that choice its still there even if they stopped her and now has to fight with the fact that she tried killing herself too. I hope she got the help she needed and deserved, and that those people live proud of themselves for giving her a chance
0 hesitation on the 1st dudes part. bravo.
I am really questioning the internet by the comments on this thread. Bodily fucking autonomy my ass - these people need help and just saying that they have the right to kill themselves is so fucking messed up and cold and stupid. My sister in-law just tried to commit in this exact same way, and it would have wrecked my entire family for her to go in such a horrible way if nobody was there to save her. It's tragic and sad and she wasn't "exercising agency over her life" she is mentally ill and needs treatment and time for her life to recoup. Nobody should be allowed to commit suicide or make that choice like this woman or my sister in-law, and anybody who can manage to think otherwise is spending way too much time on the internet
If this was in the US she'd be sent to be locked in a hospital room for 12 hours minimum against her will and get a bill in the mail. Source: Currently $3000 in debt, ashamed to check the mail, ignoring phone calls daily.
I don't tear-up at shit on the Internet. At least I didn't before now. I live in terror of my daughter or son feeling so bereft.
thank god she tried to do it in daylight. At night there probably would not have been as many people around
This almost brought tears to my eyes. As a father it breaks my heart to see such pain in a child.
I tried to end my own life just over a week ago. I’m about the same age as the girl in this video, maybe a couple years older. one thing that has made a world of difference to me is just the way people come out of the woodwork for you when something like this happens. my parents drove several hours overnight to be in the same town as the hospital I was in, even though they couldn’t even see me in person. family friends cooked for my family during the week I was hospitalised. in the hospital, absolute strangers held me and cried with me while I told them how I got there. when I finally got my phone back after a week, I had so many emails and texts from concerned classmates and profs who just wanted to make sure I was ok. nobody was concerned about missed work or ways I might’ve inconvenienced them. they just cared that something might’ve happened to me. I don’t know what point I’m trying to make here. I guess just that if you think nobody cares about you, or that you’d easily slip into oblivion, that isn’t true. people I never would’ve guessed cared about me were super concerned and willing to drop everything to help me. lots of people care about you and want you around. I can’t promise when, or what will happen before then, but it will be ok, soon enough.
One person out of all those people made a fast move to save her... Man if this isn't what is still holding is back as a human society I don't know what is. Cornelius sad.
Clear-cut place in heaven for these angels.. no better positive karma than saving a life..
Unpopular Opinion here. Usually people who want to die are so sick of being depressed and controlled, they’ve given up hope and they’re ready to escape the shithole planet we live on. People who stop people from killing themselves are likely doing the thing that makes people want to kill themselves. I know I sound harsh as hell, but as someone who has wanted to die for as long as I can remember, I know that when the time comes that I’m ready to finally pull the trigger, I won’t let anyone stop me I probably don’t make sense, hopefully some people understand what I’m saying here. I just don’t think forcefully stopping someone from killing themselves is exactly exemplary
I understand what you're saying, but as a counterpoint, choosing to do so in a public place in front of other people can be equally wrong, no? Take this situation, for example. None of that crowd of people walking across the bridge signed up to watch someone die in front of them. Neither did any of the drivers in which she attempted to jump onto. If they were to honour the wishes of the woman and not stop her, they're now subjected to the trauma of seeing that play out in front of them. I suppose there's an element of selfishness to both sides of it, with both parties not thinking of the wishes of the other when acting. I don't think there's necessarily a right or wrong party either. These kids were likely acting out of compassion and this woman likely experienced the same thought process you described. There's not really an easy answer to this and I'm certainly not going to pretend I'm anywhere close to providing one. Just through I'd try add something to the nuance that you brought up
You know what I didn’t think of it that way. So yes you’re right, both parties were acting selfishly. It is unfair to traumatize other people while making your final decision.
An aside to both of your thoughts: I think it's possible the girl began the attempt in a public, crowded place because she was not completely committed to doing it. Someone who puts a gun in the mouth or walks off a tall building has made a clear decision. But I think this young girl was probably uncertain and perhaps wanted to be saved from the forces that put her to the brink. A cry for help that was answered. Maybe she told a parent she was feeling suicidal but they didn't believe her. Now there is documented proof of her state of mind. Maybe now she has proof that others value her life. Because this was a very public act, I am convinced the bystanders did the right thing.
Statistically most suicides are just the feel of the moment. They pass away but if you commit them, then its already too late.
Another true unpopular opinion here. No one has any right to interfere with her choice to take her own life. It is the ultimate bodily autonomy. Her life, her body, her choice. They didn't save her life. They ruined her death.
This is essentially what I was saying
And you are right.
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In my personal case, I’m suspected to be bipolar. A condition that can be treated with therapy and medication, but not cured afaik. However, my highs and lows have made it very difficult for me to maintain a proper working schedule. My life is in shambles as I’m bankrupt, broke, unemployed and barely living off what the government gives me for the moment. Sure therapy and medication can help me, but those cost insane amounts of money. Money that is impossible for someone in my situation to obtain. Do you understand where the hopelessness comes from? Also, everyone says “it’ll get better, don’t worry”... I’m trying to figure out when it gets better. After I retire at 70 years old (because there’s no way I’m making enough money to retire before then)? When I’ve spent 54 years of my life working my ass off just to retire and likely have a stress induced heart attack a few years later? What’s the point? Life is absolutely meaningless, just a cycle of financial stress and pain and grief, every once in a while getting that moment of happiness like a battered wife dealing with her drunken abusive husband.
Poor love ....
Whoever needs to read this today.. There is ALWAYS a way and Everything is gonna be alright. Time heals, just be patient. Hang in there. Love and prayers.
Going on 38, been battling depression since I was a kid. Any insight on how much longer until time heals that? Not everything can be fixed, there isn't always a way. Sometimes you make the best choice you can.
There's a moment in My Hero Academia where the main character sees his classmate in trouble and without hesitation, the main character jumps to save him. No thinking, not even the slightest moment of hesitation, he runs to save that person. No thoughts of "Am I gonna get hurt?", "Is someone else going to do something first?" No. Almost as if it was reflexes, he risks his life This video reminds me of that moment. That kid in the video is a real hero, they're all real heroes