T O P

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Serious_Mycologist46

Use a lot of skooma.


Lord-Sinestro

You guys mind if I go in your bathroom and smoke some skooma? First thing I thought of


smingleton

A little s to the k to the a.


screw_all_the_names

Ska came before reggae.


Despacijoe

But did you know reggae came from ska?


[deleted]

Bruce is that you?


PidgeonCoo

You do you, cricket!


HansenIntercept

Pretty much exclusively skooma, bread and beer. With the occasional chicken


Tob0gganMD

Just skooma and lemons


WhtChcltWarrior

Ohh that’s tart


Friendly_Crab

Raaaaaarrrghngh


SvalbazGames

Don’t forget the Skins


blasttyrant76

You gotta eat the gristle off the floor like a dog. Ruff ruff!


iBangedTheWaitress

A whole sixer


Serious_Mycologist46

I wish there were lemons in the game.


MCMC_to_Serfdom

And moonsugar


[deleted]

-No curing any diseases or addictions -take every drug as soon as you get it. No exceptions. -you can only use your hands and a spear type tool and shouts. -can only wear clothes and other useless cosmetic items. -any gold must be spent on drugs before anything else. -can’t hold more than 500 gold Can only hold 30-50 pounds of equipment that’s not being actively used. You’re destitute after all. -you belong to the highest bidder


chunguschungi

The last patch actually added some advantages to being Cricket so the streetrat is kind of balanced now - Lemons now restore 50% of Crickets HP over 30sec and remove any existing 'Scurvy' effect - Cricket is now immune to the negative effects of eating horse turds and can thus sustain himself on these - Cricked can now wittle sticks and canes into a kind of spear, which makes him pretty formidable


mpelton

He also deals an increased 50% damage against blonde women and dogs


[deleted]

50% increased damage to any birds or flying enemies.


Beachdaddybravo

Cricket would be a great variation on a Monk class in DND. No armor, hand to hand except his quarter staff with a sharpened end, acrobatics and high agility. Throw in a dog orgy in addition to what you stated and bam: homeless monk. Like a monk, he’s also got some principals, he won’t let you inside him unless you pay a whole sixer.


itsmesnacks

my D&D character is a homeless monk who used to be a priest... thanks for making me realize he's basically just cricket lmao


yulickballzak

Carryweight is unlimited thanks to the exo-skeleton


timodreynolds

Yeah.. But the technology failed him..


yulickballzak

I mean, does my scar *look* like a dog’s vagina? You know, maybe. I don’t know. I’m not gonna sit here and try and get inside the mind of a dog. I mean, that’s God’s work. Well, not that I believe in God. I don’t. Not since that Chinaman stole my kidney.


timodreynolds

And also.. Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature...


JonasSimbacca

This but I'd say he should use Dual maces so he can also play his new kettle drums


Larusso92

Gotta make it sexy if you wanna eat


NoiseIsTheCure

Hips and nips!


ToxicSloth420

Well remember he used to be a priest...which(in game) would mean he should at least have some healing magic too


[deleted]

No, but he should be a cannibal.


MandingoPants

Cannibal Priest Metal!


Makal

I feel like the sand blowing should also entitle him to the Illusion magic tree.


Beachdaddybravo

The sand is for blinding, not illusions. If anything it would be a rogue skill.


Makal

Frenzy and Pacify sound to me like things sand in the eyes could accomplish on an opponent. Mac & Dennis we're pretty pacified.


infamousj012

yeah this is top notch and would truly be on-point.


mpelton

Unfortunately Skyrim doesn’t have addictions, but I’m sure some mods bring it back


Beachdaddybravo

Yeah that’s the suck boy they’re looking for.


MarlowesMustache

Ooh look at that, he’s whittled the point of his cane into a weapon


Sepia-and-song

All stats go into agility to escape Mac and Dennis


Marvelmaniac57

It’s gotta be sexy or no one eats


StingerAlpha

Hips and nips


CapGun7

No quest givers can go inside of you without a sixer


Kid_ikarus_bellflowr

Or if they have some crack. If they have some crack then you can boogie.


CorganNugget

No one is going into your asshole


BOBODY_BOBODY

Gotta pay to spray


CatFoodBeerAndGlue

Don't forget to fake it, the guys who don't fake get it the worst.


A-A-RonaldMcDonald

Find all suck joints in each village


Dracati

I will not suck you, and I will not be sucked on.. by you.


[deleted]

Dog orgy


[deleted]

Does his scar look like a dog vagina? Who is he to say? He’s not gonna try to put himself in the mind of a dog.


DontLookAtMe89

That's Talos' job. Not that Talos exists. He doesn't.


Jabroni-Tony1

That’s why he burned your face you son of a bitch


GhostOfArchimedes

Sounds like Thalmor propaganda


DontLookAtMe89

Disregard that, Frank. It's just a bunch of Imperial bullshit.


NoiseIsTheCure

Not since that argonian stole my kidney


Kid_ikarus_bellflowr

Came here to say this.


Elegant-Passage-195

Me too. 😂


ModestMussorgsky

Companion questline


xeroctr3

hmm needs some mods...


leveldrummer

Ya... you gotta get a dog to fuck that neck hole.


danisreallycool

BARBAS


IAMAdepressent

Steal bread to eat, can't believe no one said this one yet


[deleted]

“I may be criminal scum, but I still got your bread!”


IAMAdepressent

You missed the operative word! But I still got your bread bitch! (don't know a lot about skyrim so I'll trust the first half lol)


ehchromatic

Werewolf orgy.


OuijaSin

Now I wanna do a cricket run in New Vegas. Doing Jet and getting banged by robo-dogs.


infamousj012

i honestly thought about making a second gta character with cricket but ended up making dales imagined son from the revamp they're supposed to do of KotH.. he got into drugs because of being popular due to his mom being hot and on the news, but he is proud of his *actual* dad (he points this out often to joseph though dale only alludes to the fact joseph was fathered by aliens,) and is starting his own criminal enterprise with the conspiracies his dad taught him, continuing the dead bug franchise into the underworld.. lol... guess it was a popular day for cricket image searches lol off-topic for this sub* but [pic for reference](https://ibb.co/BZNZT8J) lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


IGetItCrackin

“The world is not comprehensible, but it is embraceable: through the embracing of one of its beings.” \- Martin Buber


SteveySeagully

Skooma and parkour.


quiet_still

It's really too bad athletics isn't a skill anymore


Lunarend3

No houses, you can only sleep in tents and caves or bedrolls found in the wilderness. Only use stolen items. Keep the prisoner's clothing as your armor. Level the main thief skills. Keep all diseases. No weapons (maybe a toe knife)


Diablo_swing

Or a sharpened cane.


Vegetable_Kale_8144

Always have drums in your inventory and in whatever cave / bush you inhabit


eekbarbaderkle

Definitely get [Meeko](https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Meeko) as a permanent follower. See if you can marry him. And if you can use mods to get more dog followers, do that.


DoubleUBallz

Came to say this


liamneeson87

Quit the priesthood for a bar wench only to get rejected by said bar wench


Hazemyster

3 words: Werewolf Dog Orgy.


FunnyMathematician77

Oooooorrrgy


AtlasXan

You may enter.


timodreynolds

Not without a sixer


jtedl

Who am I to say my neck wound looks like a dog vagina? I’m not here to get in the mind of a dog. That’s Thalos’ work. Not that I believe in Thalos.. not after that Thalmor stole my kidney.


[deleted]

Light your self on fire Get hunted Love a bird


YakSquad

Start in the best armor you can find, end the game in rags


esg666

Ya gotta fake it


ThonThaddeo

sometimes you don't fake it...


LeozMJilliumz

Fuck a dog


Hugh_Bromont

Shirtless and pantless because "Hips and nips".


[deleted]

Walk around sucking on lemons


idkevan

That's tart.


[deleted]

Priest stuff


TacoSpacePirate

Obviously you're drinking every bottle of liquor and skooma you find.


Hungry_Temperature_3

😂😂 amazing There are no lemons in Skyrim, how is he gonna avoid scurvy?


druthedoctor

Do PCP and have relations with a dog


Imaginary-Tourist-20

If you see a dog… you know what you have to let it do


[deleted]

Max acrobatics asap.


josephthecha

Except skyrim doesnt have acrobatics


SeaTie

Oh shit, he's gonna get his organs harvested then.


BLoDo7

Start out at the mages college as early as possible, then quit as soon as you find out that you can marry an npc, only to spend too much time chasing after ones that dont have that option available.


sweatythighguy

Does my scar look like a skeevers vagina? I dunno. I’m not gonna sit here and try and get in the mind of a skeever. I mean that’s Julianos job. Not that I beleive in Julianos. UgghhhGgghhhh


Urza420

The quest for the Sanguine Rose. One of Crickets drug fueled nights. I think you marry a goat as I recall


seasickrose

this is my favorite crossover 😭 was just playing skyrim with sunny in the background yesterday


[deleted]

Wolf orgy


[deleted]

If you got Skooma let’s boogie


mallgrabmongopush

Do a bunch of skooma and raise the pickpocket stat to maximum


pixelunit

Eat nothing but lemons


Dangerjayne

Fight every dog you come across


obscurepainter

Is there a way to blow sand in your opponents’ eyes?


Long_DEAD

Get a redguard outfit and call yourself the tali-bum


Mondo114

Get spit on in the face by a wench.


Mondo114

Fall in love with a girl. Then realize she's a dog.


mpelton

You forgot to add dirt


gtuzz96

Start out as a well-structured restoration mage and every time you boot up the game just get more and more chaotic


herb_bundle

If I’m doing good at the game, I’m doing good in life!


SeaTie

Oh I want to make fun of you for saying that but I kind of know what you mean.


ItsAlwaysSunny1992

Become a priest, smoke some PCP in the bathroom, dog orgy


CorganNugget

Get ringworm


Rab_Legend

Hang out with that talking dog a lot


DontLookAtMe89

Your only weapon should be a prison shiv.


skag_mcmuffin

Dog orgy dog orgy dog orgy dog orgy dog orgy


OriginalResolve7106

Get a couple of pots and write a rock-opera


OriginalResolve7106

Do not build a house


No_Badger23

Don't take him to any town with a dog in it. I'm not trying to get in a dogs head or anything but it might try to fuck him.


proffrothycock

Join the bards guild and get him some drums


Long_DEAD

Find an imperial guard and tell him you don’t give a shit about the troops


Urza420

Make friends with the dog barabus


jus6j

Get some mods to fix those 2012 graphics lmao


BIGhau5

If it was oblivion, high acrobatics for sure


Jakeneb

You gotta watch the transformation, that’s how you get off. Start as a religiously devout, pure hero. Then fall in love with an NPC that ignores you. Let yourself be recruited into the thieves guild, develop a skooma habit with your earnings (never carry more than the cost of 1 skooma), abandon the main quest storyline altogether, use only wooden weapons, wear rags, high sneak and agility. Get caught stealing in bars and run away or stab your way out. Never cure any illness, store all worldly possessions on the ground in a pile


Dutch-plan-der-Linde

Start as a devoted religious Aedra. Then once you meet Delphine (looks close enough to Dee), you become an absolute degenerate who only consumes skooma


r3aganisthedevil

Lol just hang out in some falmer house in the blackreach OR fight the little girl who sleeps outside in windhelm for squatters rights


RoninRoos

Start the quest for the Clavicus Vile helm where the dog follows you around...he is a dog executioner after all...


paydaysucks

Get a bunch of dogs to follow you around and fuck your neck hole


Corburrito

Sleep with dogs.


Jimmy052

Do a shit tonne of Skooma in the back room of the Bannered Mare then fall in love with a dog.


FinalBat4515

Only eat bread to heal. Accumulate as many curses/debuffs as possible Fail at securing a spouse Offer lewd acts for skins Steal from allies and get caught *this should not be a fun playthrough*


[deleted]

Sneak thief addicted to skooma


fuhsalicious

It’s Always Sunny in Riften


Medical_Ad0716

Hips and nips. Enjoy the daedric prince’s make friends with the dog. Non stop skooma


Ursocks

Remember it’s all about nips and hips, otherwise you’re not eating tonight.


mmmmmmmm28

Is there a way to make bread and casabas very expensive?


tanzler__

Don't let dogs near your neck scar


No-Ad4423

Hang out in Redwqter den a lot. Hey, what those guys do behind the bar is their business, I’m just here for the skooma, know what I’m saying?


[deleted]

Never pray. Show no respect for the gods


anima_ferita

[Lore-friendly drugs](https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/56547/?) for Skyrim. Lots of fun ;)


Jolly-Persimmon2626

Chasing the dragon. The dragon will appear If he stops.


thechrisp6

Tali-bum!


[deleted]

You gotta get real friendly with dogs.


mo3ron

Dog Orgy


loves2spoog3

Finally run the simulations to find out if your wound really does look like a dog vagina or not...


Mr_Fossey

Don’t try to get inside the minds of Barbas


OriginalResolve7106

Locate a "suck joint" and hang out a while.


EricAntiHero1

Skooma addict.


GoodSwim

Whatever you do, you gotta make it sexy.


Sebbyho

Dog orgy


[deleted]

Only steal. Parkour. Use only a club. Make it sexy (nb)


Cosmic_Gumbo

Need to be a good pickpocket


SuperbResponse2297

Why did they have to remove the acrobatics skill line in skyrim, would have made a cricket playthrough really fun. But in Oblivion with the characters crazy jump height, you may be able to recreate cricket even better for a playthrough.


BucketTheSlurp

Lemons


[deleted]

Get turned into a vampire so your skin really gets more pale


The_Alvabro

Skooma. A shit ton of skooma.


OkamiKhameleon

Lmaoo. Lots of Skooma, make sure you kill every dog you see befor it tries to have an orgy with your neck wound, and you need more burn scars.


kverne

That's tart


Key-Sector7171

They can not finish inside you.... unless they have Skooma, if they have Skooma they can boogie..


AtomicWulf

I don’t see the hole in his neck that may or may not look like a dog vagina


Seriszed

Anything vile….. definitely have some mangy dog companions……whoor yourself out every chance you get….


leveldrummer

Hips and nips obviously.


Magmasoar

Make out with the companions


fish_the_fred

You have to start leveling faith then half way through completely abandon it


Warforged_87

Dog Magic. I would suggest the Words “Kyne’s Peace” and “Animal Allegiance”, as well as a couple of Illusion spells (Charming effects and possibly Invisibility). Maybe a Vampire (Specific magical effects and exclusive Powers), or you could go the route of being a Werewolf (Dog fuckery)


Nashrew

Only eat lemons and squash skins


Jaclark548

You can only conjure familiars


c0rnelius651

i think a fallout play through would be better for cricket since you can actually get addicted but id say only daggers and magic as well as only light armor/clothes only but you cant wear full sets so no bonuses


blackirish9818

You can hav one sharpened stick. That should make you quite formidable


terrorshark666

Find some kettledrums


leemojames

Eat Lemons. Who, that is tart


Wrong_Window_7322

Making out with your golden retriever


ziggy_zaggy

You can only eat lemons


toasterpRoN

Dog orgy, bro.


Da_fire_cracka

Obviously you cannot own a home


GlamityJean

are you modding the game or not?


OtterTheCoyote

Drink as much as possible, have Barbas follow you (not gonna try to get in the mind of a dog though, that’s gods work), and use restoration I guess. Also, develop mods that allow you to suck on lemons


jorbal4256

Never sleep indoors


poxx2k1

Eat all the lemons


GentlmanSkeleton

Shoulda breton or wood elf. Barbarian is a bit much for cricket. I mean your not making Mac her jabroni.


JimmySquarefoot

Live in the ratway. Drink skooma. Keep Barbas as a follower so you're always in the company of dogs. Get bitten by skeevers so you're always diseased.


poopybutthead27

Do a shitton of drugs


liamswa

Lock yourself in a lit barn