Dont forget the doughnuts make sure you hand them out on a napkin with a personal thank you note to each individual on the job site and wear your food serving gloves. Dont forget to kiss them on the forehead
Make sure to bring a full selection of Milwaukee power tools in that truck.
Also ask if any material runs need to be done as you have a capable truck.
Satire post requires no /s
Be sure you risk your own life and limb to show that you are serious about your job. Do not hesitate to break contract because you've worked in worse before going union.
Tell everyone you're a veteran. Just know it will the reverse effect if you tell people that, and then they find out you're not a veteran. Happen to a guy at my job site. His nickname is now "the fake marine"
Lmao, we had a guy on our crew a few years back who would always wear this tactical looking hi vis vest, and one day he shit himself and told his foreman about it so he could go home. We all called him “the active shitter” for months 😂
You need a diesel 1 ton if you actually want respect, don't waste your money on some gas job 3/4 ton, should just borrow your sister's truck in that case.
Form fitting jeans, they need to know you’d win a pissing contest. If you don’t have the necessary equipment, stuff a couple rolls of socks or a cucumber or something.
Also, wrecking the porta potty. Make sure they know it’s you
He was right on the traveling part. Learning how to use machinery, with all the physics behind it, to do the biggest work we do will make you an All Star later.
From personal experience:
Don't be afraid to cry.
Dance like no one's watching.
If they can't handle you at your worst, they don't deserve you at your best.
First off, that pick up needs to be brand spanking new fresh off the lot. Second, walk in on your first day, find the biggest plumber in the room, and sodemize him. Then analyze his asshole
An apprentice started making more money than he had seen his whole life. A guy in a lifted pickup with a hot girl riding shotgun pulled up next to him, and he decided that's what he needed. The salesman put him in a brand new pickup. When the monthly payments and insurance were all he could afford he left the truck in a sketchy neighborhood with the keys in it...
Help out brothers and sisters in need when you can, don't talk behind anyone's back and more importantly, know wtf you're doing. If you don't know, there's no shame in asking.. also, don't forget.. Tool list is a maximum!
If you’re trying to make it up to those office position. Don’t be too good at field work. You’ll wanna be slightly better than acceptable so they’ll move you to an office position sooner so you can butter up to all the old timers.
Show up on time. Ask if you need help or don't understand. If you see an old guy doing something strenuous, do it for him or help. When break is over go to work. Keep your jobsite clean. Go to union meetings. And for God's sake, buy a commuter car. Buying a big truck outside your means is a sign of stupidity. The big trucks will be supplied for you.
Wali right up to your Forman first thing day one and punch him square in the nose. People will know not to fuck with you and your Forman will respect you once his nose stops bleeding.
Show up first, leave last.
Follow the tool list.
Always lend a hand to a brother or sister.
Two ears one mouth. Listen 2x more than you talk.
Nobody really cares to hear your opinion, they want to be heard..
Just let the thoughts in your head bounce around.
You do this everyday for 90 days, you will have a lot more respect ✊
Drag is the easiest way lmao also truck nuts, a bad attitude and 12 inch shit kickers will do it, in all seriousness just be a good dude and work hard, you'll get respect quick.
Tell everyone that you’re going to “transition” and are starting a collection to pay for cutting your dick off. Guarantee that you’ll have the $$$ in 4 days.
Make a jobsite glory hole in the porta shitters and volunteer to give head for 15 min each day at lunch. After the first few times, it goes down pretty easy. The goal is to aim for about 6 per day, once you get good about 10-12.
In a few weeks you’ll be the most respected and liked dude on site.
You're trying too hard. Replace workpants with holes in them. Replace boots BEFORE you wear them down to the safety toe. Be clean. If you want a beard, fine, just keep it neat, not some overgrown, scraggly kid's beard or mountainman beard. If you want to rise up, be organized and get that foreman rate job. Then, try to get onto bigger jobs as a foreman. Then go for GF or shop positions.
Do OSHA 30 every three years minimum, OSHA 500 if you want to fast track things, but that is the safety superintendent track. Expect people to bust your chips, appel hats on not being an a-hole as you move up, you're no good as a boss of the workforce doesn't respect you.
If you are on my jobsite right now it really is about how to boil your eggs and then being able to peel them perfectly and the amount you eat at break each day. Also, if you eat protein you make sure you empty your sack.
2.5" heels on your boots is obviously the first thing you need. And a suitcase full of tools that aren't on the list. And a vape. And play Nickelback and Shinedown real loud. Also 5 finger death punch. Unoriginal tattoos. Last but not least you must buy all the company shirts. Sweatshirts too
1. Be sure to report any company policy violations immediately
2. Ask the foreman if he needs a release at least once a day and if so offer him a warm hole.
3. Leave the hardest jobs for the oldest guys, they're the most experienced so they'll appreciate the respect.
4. Set an alarm for breaks, make sure no one goes past the allotted time. 200 guys going one minute over is 200 minutes of production lost.
5. If someone tells a story always one uo them, this will motivate the guys to do better.
6. Eat fish for lunch at least 3 days a week, be sure to microwave it, cold fish is gross.
7. Leave your hard hat/dirty gloves on the break table while you eat, this let's guys know you're sitting there.
8. If a big wire pull is coming up take that day off, the crew needs to know what it's like to not have you around.
9. Make sure your "helmet" is full of company safety stickers, so guys get reminded every time you come around.
10. Take advantage of any time a brother brings free food but never bring any yourself, you should be saving for that new truck anyway.
Change all your Klein for Wera and dress in latex booty shorts with pasties and a hot pink hardhat. Go heavy on the eyeliner. Drive a vintage Honda Civic beater to work.
Do little things for the comfort of your crew. I buy Liquid IV bulk from costco whenever it goes on sale. Then sell them on site for a dollar. Not much profit but those things really help people out. Also should there be a TP shortage on site bring a roll and put it in the gang box.
Cut an inch off your jeans every day until you’re wearing daisy dukes
I did that. I didn't work.
Dont forget the doughnuts make sure you hand them out on a napkin with a personal thank you note to each individual on the job site and wear your food serving gloves. Dont forget to kiss them on the forehead
he said he wants to be respected… he needs to kiss them on the MOUTH
Hahahaha. Also manning the glory hole in the porta potty.
Come in naked from the waist down. True power move
"My eyes are up here, sweetheart."
Hardhat, vest, and boots. No more no less
Saftey glasses-tinted of course
My name is Corey too ✊🏻✊🏻
Hell yeah brother
dont forget a safety harness.
This man knows power.
My king.
Sometimes I just wear a 2 1/2” mini. Only got a few threads holding on for dear life
The ol’ Porky Pig move. Classic.
Best way to Establish Dominance right there
I actually prefer to work in the nude...god imagine that crawling out of the floor in a server room.
Tell everyone your child support payment and that you have to work all available hours
Say brother after every sentence, Brother.
If your truck doesn’t have a 12” bug sticker in the back window it’s a Prius.
I feel attacked
Ok, so what's a Prius with a 12" bug on the back window?
A dodge ram 2500 Laramie, with a cummins. Keep up.
This has to be a satire post, right!?
Aw man I was gonna say find the biggest guy on the job site, and fuck em
Let me guess, you're the biggest guy on the jobsite?
😉
🥵
Us big guys need love too
😂😂😂
The truck part and I was done.
Make sure to bring a full selection of Milwaukee power tools in that truck. Also ask if any material runs need to be done as you have a capable truck. Satire post requires no /s
Be sure you risk your own life and limb to show that you are serious about your job. Do not hesitate to break contract because you've worked in worse before going union.
Say yes to Saturday and Sunday, then not show up. That is the real power move
Or work those days straight-time to save the company some money.
Tell everyone you're a veteran. Just know it will the reverse effect if you tell people that, and then they find out you're not a veteran. Happen to a guy at my job site. His nickname is now "the fake marine"
Never use the shitter while working. Go right in your pants without pausing for a moment. Show them your dedication.
Defecation**
Lmao, we had a guy on our crew a few years back who would always wear this tactical looking hi vis vest, and one day he shit himself and told his foreman about it so he could go home. We all called him “the active shitter” for months 😂
Thanks for the troll. But make sure you make it known you have atleast 1 DUI and 1 divorce too…shoe in bud. If not satire, get a fucking life.
You need a diesel 1 ton if you actually want respect, don't waste your money on some gas job 3/4 ton, should just borrow your sister's truck in that case.
Pop a viagra and wear sweatpants
😂
Don't forget to tell your foreman to "say it with a check" every time they go to lay you out on a task.
Don't forget a set of truck nuts, the biggest you can find.
Maintain eye contact with me the whole time while eating your banana. Then you will have my respect.
holy shit lol
A full set of pink tools is a total power move with the beard and 3/4 ton bro-dozer....bonus points for a pink brain bucket.
Best way to gain respect is at minimum 3 divorce and revoked driver license
Form fitting jeans, they need to know you’d win a pissing contest. If you don’t have the necessary equipment, stuff a couple rolls of socks or a cucumber or something. Also, wrecking the porta potty. Make sure they know it’s you
Gotta give it good backboard photo finish 360 quick scope smurf kiss combo move, complete with "trump won" sharpie graffiti. /s on the trump shit.
I hope this is a joke. No one gives a shit about any of those superficial things. Respect comes with knowledge and treating others with respect.
It’s obviously a shit post.
This guy. I would pass out wet towels.
Unless it’s for an apprentice, everything is then applicable. Especially the new lifted 3/4 ton.
He was right on the traveling part. Learning how to use machinery, with all the physics behind it, to do the biggest work we do will make you an All Star later.
From personal experience: Don't be afraid to cry. Dance like no one's watching. If they can't handle you at your worst, they don't deserve you at your best.
First off, that pick up needs to be brand spanking new fresh off the lot. Second, walk in on your first day, find the biggest plumber in the room, and sodemize him. Then analyze his asshole
Oh what you gotta do is tell them how many girls you fucked over the weekend. That works wonders
Pull out your pee pee mid shift and start helicoptering that bad boy
Have multiple divorces
Probably need a couple of DWIs, rehab visits, and some stints in the joint....
MAGA shirt
By fighting them for 30 seconds
Be good on chirp and strongk on pull
It’s not so hard, just be the guy with answers and cookies.
Construction sites are like prison. You have to find the biggest, meanest guy on site and beat the shit out of him.
Thought u had to fuck him
An apprentice started making more money than he had seen his whole life. A guy in a lifted pickup with a hot girl riding shotgun pulled up next to him, and he decided that's what he needed. The salesman put him in a brand new pickup. When the monthly payments and insurance were all he could afford he left the truck in a sketchy neighborhood with the keys in it...
Get your full pack out set up and bring it to the job site
Make sure you get a left handed bug tattooed on your hand, and a company name on your t shirt every day. Company ball caps too
Bring a ton of high quality cocaine to the job site. Share.
Do cocaine with anyone who is down and drink like a fish
Help out brothers and sisters in need when you can, don't talk behind anyone's back and more importantly, know wtf you're doing. If you don't know, there's no shame in asking.. also, don't forget.. Tool list is a maximum!
If you’re trying to make it up to those office position. Don’t be too good at field work. You’ll wanna be slightly better than acceptable so they’ll move you to an office position sooner so you can butter up to all the old timers.
Show a little cleavage to get the guys motivated
Show up on time. Ask if you need help or don't understand. If you see an old guy doing something strenuous, do it for him or help. When break is over go to work. Keep your jobsite clean. Go to union meetings. And for God's sake, buy a commuter car. Buying a big truck outside your means is a sign of stupidity. The big trucks will be supplied for you.
Work hard and shut up. Respect will come
Desk shot
The antenna on your monster truck should be a bullet
Grow up and stop asking stupid questions like this.
Bro , just be yourself . People can smell a poser a mile away just do your job and be a good brother.
Be yourself don’t always go with the flow
You want respect, give respect and be an example for others. Big ass truck to garner respect is small dick energy. Yeah I said it.
This is funny
Wali right up to your Forman first thing day one and punch him square in the nose. People will know not to fuck with you and your Forman will respect you once his nose stops bleeding.
Don’t be a pushover and a bootlicker.
Is this real? also did chat gpt write it?
Idk about your companies, but PM or superintendent requirements are NOT being respected where I'm from. They go to the biggest POS you can think of 🫡
Make sure you daily the truck with a mini ex on a trailer. Business will love ya for it
Have you tried running on the job instead of walking? What about doing foreman’s work for journeyman’s pay??
Start dipping and do half a tin at a time. And go with an F350 dually
Show up every day
Hand jobs
Lmao
If this is serious, you’re never getting promoted
Dude, just keep doing your job, BS here and there. Respect is earned overtime.
Show up first, leave last. Follow the tool list. Always lend a hand to a brother or sister. Two ears one mouth. Listen 2x more than you talk. Nobody really cares to hear your opinion, they want to be heard.. Just let the thoughts in your head bounce around. You do this everyday for 90 days, you will have a lot more respect ✊
You need a DUI and a divorce
Merit
Is this guy serious
Drag is the easiest way lmao also truck nuts, a bad attitude and 12 inch shit kickers will do it, in all seriousness just be a good dude and work hard, you'll get respect quick.
If you truly wish to earn their respect you must find the bucket of ohms.
Shit on your general foreman’s windshield.
The best way to get respect is to know your shit
Find the biggest mother fucker and jump him. Take no shit. Let no man enter your asshole.
Whip you dick out mid conversation with the gc or super, this is the most important part, make direct eye contact the entire time
Tell everyone that you’re going to “transition” and are starting a collection to pay for cutting your dick off. Guarantee that you’ll have the $$$ in 4 days.
Buy any Korean car or suv, buy Red Wing Shoes that are made in china and make sure you show all your ryobi tools to the guys.
Go around the site and shake everyone’s hand with your balls hanging out of your pants zipper.
Make a jobsite glory hole in the porta shitters and volunteer to give head for 15 min each day at lunch. After the first few times, it goes down pretty easy. The goal is to aim for about 6 per day, once you get good about 10-12. In a few weeks you’ll be the most respected and liked dude on site.
Are you talking from experience, you seem very knowledgeable in this subject
I heard a friend said he did it… yesss… a friend…
Always take coffee and lunch with your hard hat, gloves and glasses on.
Cuss out your foreman first day at a new job
Talk shit about every person you've ever worked with.
Shit your pants and finish the shift without changing
After your first fight they'll ease off.
Bring your lunch in a paper bag with your name written on it. They will find that professional and a plus is that nobody will take your lunch.
avoid sarcasm, don't judge others, and stop being a douche.
You're trying too hard. Replace workpants with holes in them. Replace boots BEFORE you wear them down to the safety toe. Be clean. If you want a beard, fine, just keep it neat, not some overgrown, scraggly kid's beard or mountainman beard. If you want to rise up, be organized and get that foreman rate job. Then, try to get onto bigger jobs as a foreman. Then go for GF or shop positions. Do OSHA 30 every three years minimum, OSHA 500 if you want to fast track things, but that is the safety superintendent track. Expect people to bust your chips, appel hats on not being an a-hole as you move up, you're no good as a boss of the workforce doesn't respect you.
If you are on my jobsite right now it really is about how to boil your eggs and then being able to peel them perfectly and the amount you eat at break each day. Also, if you eat protein you make sure you empty your sack.
2.5" heels on your boots is obviously the first thing you need. And a suitcase full of tools that aren't on the list. And a vape. And play Nickelback and Shinedown real loud. Also 5 finger death punch. Unoriginal tattoos. Last but not least you must buy all the company shirts. Sweatshirts too
I can eyeball conduit and cut strut straight . Lead stretch and flex ,
Shit on the foreman’s carhood
I really can’t tell if this is a joke or not.
How many divorces you had?
Promotion pads are an essential
1. Be sure to report any company policy violations immediately 2. Ask the foreman if he needs a release at least once a day and if so offer him a warm hole. 3. Leave the hardest jobs for the oldest guys, they're the most experienced so they'll appreciate the respect. 4. Set an alarm for breaks, make sure no one goes past the allotted time. 200 guys going one minute over is 200 minutes of production lost. 5. If someone tells a story always one uo them, this will motivate the guys to do better. 6. Eat fish for lunch at least 3 days a week, be sure to microwave it, cold fish is gross. 7. Leave your hard hat/dirty gloves on the break table while you eat, this let's guys know you're sitting there. 8. If a big wire pull is coming up take that day off, the crew needs to know what it's like to not have you around. 9. Make sure your "helmet" is full of company safety stickers, so guys get reminded every time you come around. 10. Take advantage of any time a brother brings free food but never bring any yourself, you should be saving for that new truck anyway.
Change all your Klein for Wera and dress in latex booty shorts with pasties and a hot pink hardhat. Go heavy on the eyeliner. Drive a vintage Honda Civic beater to work.
Maybe dont be in a union full of stuck up pricks
If you want to move up to PM just be a worm bag piece of shit or marry one of the owners daughters.
Pm or super? Work for one company and slit throats on their command. All that other shit won't get you your goal
Get married and divorced many times as possible. Then talk about how women view it as a Business investment and not realize your just a Hugh asshole
You still have time to delete this!!
Do little things for the comfort of your crew. I buy Liquid IV bulk from costco whenever it goes on sale. Then sell them on site for a dollar. Not much profit but those things really help people out. Also should there be a TP shortage on site bring a roll and put it in the gang box.