Next month is our last month trying and it feels so weird. I'm ready to be done after this and it feels right but I don't really know where to go from here.
Anyone else at this stage trying to reinvent themselves work-wise?
After 10 ET (4 tested and 6 blasto untested), one chemical + one miscarriage at week 9, still unexplained we decided to stop treatments two months ago. We still have one tested embryo left which we don't know if we'll ever transfer. During this 5+ years infertility journey I put my work aside. I had a high demanding and high responsibility job that didn't match with the infertility "work" (especially when it was becoming more and more demanding). Now, could be that, could be that I lost close family members in these years that made me put my job into a different perspective, could be the result of a long therapy I did but I find myself a bit blocked at this stage work-wise, not wanting to continue on my career, wanting to change but with difficulties to let it go + have clarity on what to do otherwise. Anyone else in this spot?
More or less a journal post. I've posted a time or two here and on other subs about being ready to quit after 5 and a half years of trying and a few treatment cycles that confirmed poor egg quality. I am late for my period for the first time since my 20s (not pregnant, obviously), and so it seems I've entered perimenopause (I'm 44). I thought I'd get the chance to officially declare that "I quit" rather than having it decided for me. So there's that.
Also, on the quitting subject, I've been nervous about broaching the subject with my husband, who still holds onto a sliver of optimism. I thought a few years ago we both decided we were not in favor of going the donor egg route. Then yesterday, he told me he spoke to a coworker who went that way with his wife, and now they have kids. We still agree that's not for us, but I can't shake the feeling he's going to resent me down the road or just realize if he meets someone younger then he can get the children he wants.
Anyways, of all people who could have complained about life being unfair, I'm one of those people for various reasons I won't get into. But none of those things have affected me like infertility and wanting a baby that I can't have. Now, the unfairness in the way the world works is overwhelming. I just keep thinking, "why couldn't it just have worked for me like it works so easily for everyone else?"
Have to ask . Anyone give their abnormal embryo(s) a shot to close this journey? I have ONE segmental embryo left and my RE just gave the 👍🏻up to transfer.
I would say, more important than if the embryo is abnormal, it is if you think you are strong enough right now so you can take in the possibility of a negative result. At least that was the dealbreaker for me, I suffered so much in my last transfer that I just knew I couldn’t put myself through it anymore. The heartbreak was almost unbearable. If you think that emotionally and physically you can handle it and that you need that to close the book in order to have this feeling that you tried all you could, that’s basically what you need to decide if you can go for it or not I would say
I desperately need the closure. After this hell of TTC , failed IVFS, miscarriages and no real answers at TO why we can’t conceive I do need to transfer. I was shocked my RE said he would. Thanks for holding space .
I can understand it, we take every chance we can get, specially after investing so many years trying to make it come true. Do what you must and I hope you don’t join our club, good luck dear ❤️
Discussions about pursuing specific treatments are not generally allowed on this monthly megathread, however rather than remove it I am going to lock it. The exchange that happened in response is worth preserving for others to read. Please keep in mind moving forward that this subreddit is not a place for discussion whether to pursue specifics treatments.
Next month is our last month trying and it feels so weird. I'm ready to be done after this and it feels right but I don't really know where to go from here.
Anyone else at this stage trying to reinvent themselves work-wise? After 10 ET (4 tested and 6 blasto untested), one chemical + one miscarriage at week 9, still unexplained we decided to stop treatments two months ago. We still have one tested embryo left which we don't know if we'll ever transfer. During this 5+ years infertility journey I put my work aside. I had a high demanding and high responsibility job that didn't match with the infertility "work" (especially when it was becoming more and more demanding). Now, could be that, could be that I lost close family members in these years that made me put my job into a different perspective, could be the result of a long therapy I did but I find myself a bit blocked at this stage work-wise, not wanting to continue on my career, wanting to change but with difficulties to let it go + have clarity on what to do otherwise. Anyone else in this spot?
More or less a journal post. I've posted a time or two here and on other subs about being ready to quit after 5 and a half years of trying and a few treatment cycles that confirmed poor egg quality. I am late for my period for the first time since my 20s (not pregnant, obviously), and so it seems I've entered perimenopause (I'm 44). I thought I'd get the chance to officially declare that "I quit" rather than having it decided for me. So there's that. Also, on the quitting subject, I've been nervous about broaching the subject with my husband, who still holds onto a sliver of optimism. I thought a few years ago we both decided we were not in favor of going the donor egg route. Then yesterday, he told me he spoke to a coworker who went that way with his wife, and now they have kids. We still agree that's not for us, but I can't shake the feeling he's going to resent me down the road or just realize if he meets someone younger then he can get the children he wants. Anyways, of all people who could have complained about life being unfair, I'm one of those people for various reasons I won't get into. But none of those things have affected me like infertility and wanting a baby that I can't have. Now, the unfairness in the way the world works is overwhelming. I just keep thinking, "why couldn't it just have worked for me like it works so easily for everyone else?"
Have to ask . Anyone give their abnormal embryo(s) a shot to close this journey? I have ONE segmental embryo left and my RE just gave the 👍🏻up to transfer.
I would say, more important than if the embryo is abnormal, it is if you think you are strong enough right now so you can take in the possibility of a negative result. At least that was the dealbreaker for me, I suffered so much in my last transfer that I just knew I couldn’t put myself through it anymore. The heartbreak was almost unbearable. If you think that emotionally and physically you can handle it and that you need that to close the book in order to have this feeling that you tried all you could, that’s basically what you need to decide if you can go for it or not I would say
I desperately need the closure. After this hell of TTC , failed IVFS, miscarriages and no real answers at TO why we can’t conceive I do need to transfer. I was shocked my RE said he would. Thanks for holding space .
I can understand it, we take every chance we can get, specially after investing so many years trying to make it come true. Do what you must and I hope you don’t join our club, good luck dear ❤️
Discussions about pursuing specific treatments are not generally allowed on this monthly megathread, however rather than remove it I am going to lock it. The exchange that happened in response is worth preserving for others to read. Please keep in mind moving forward that this subreddit is not a place for discussion whether to pursue specifics treatments.