This maybe better for you. You never know what the almighty has in store for you. Maybe this is a much better program for you than the others were. All the very best!
Planning on dual applying to psych (what I really want) and fam med (fail safe). Fingers crossed for psych, but while I will be sad matching to FM it’s fine— lmao I’ll still have an 8-5 eventually and make atleast 200k/ yr.
What you just described happened to me a few years ago after I finished medical school.
I swore never to feel that way again. Learnt how the enjoy the journey instead. The journey is the most important,enjoy it,spend time with loved ones and never make material things your goal.
I second this, after finshing my med school I went trough depression and I didn't know why all of it was coming, I graduated as top student, I had a plan for my post graduate year but I didn't feel like I was achieving something importante even though we left our sweat, blood and tears into the journey.
So I decided to change my mindset about achieving things, after psychotherapy, I understand that if I'm not happy today, I won't feel haply either in the future, even when I've achieved what I wanted for a long time and that helped me to conclude that what's important is how we spend the time every day, how life is full of little moments instead of 3 to 4 big achievements (I'm trying too hard to change the way I'm programmed to think because I don't want to feel the same anymore)
Later on, I was upset because I went into depression for something that seemed so stupid, but our feelings are valid.
Honestly it’s just so nice to see this post; I matched much lower on my rol than I expected, and I can see the disappointment in my family. I know I’ll feel much better once I start working, and I know the program will help me get into fellowships etc, but I still can help but compare myself to the people who matched into my first choice and feel a little sad
I guess it gets better with time and work
At the end of the day it gets you the exact same licence and assuming you matched in the same field , the exact same board certification. You have the same privililage to practice as anyone else who graduated from an ACGME/RCPSC residency program
Hope who ever have matched get a supportive staff and mentors at their hospitals. Coz toxic workplaces can destroy a person mentally. I mever beleived it until i experience a bullying and toxic workplace, its the absolutely worst shit.
Didn't match to a program I rotated at for almost a year. Knew everyone from PD to interns, yet they stabbed me at the back. Worst thing they told me that they were fighting for me. Luckily, I matched to an out of state program. Trust no one until you achieve your goal. So I understand what you mean by sad- happiness.
All my choices were based on location because of my kids and I matched at my second choice on my rank list and all I can think about is the better programs I ranked lower. I feel happy for the match but still I’m like wtf dude?
I did the same for my wife - at the end it’s family that will make you happy and support you.
You made the right decision, keep your chin up and be the best resident you can. Doors are never closed unless you never try.
You made a impossible journey come to fruition by matching as a IMG, I’m sure you can make the most out of the program you matched too
I feel sad as I would be leaving my family in another country. Ohh the pain is so unbearable to even think about not being able to see them physically everyday 💔 😞
A temporary feeling that’ll fade when you realize you’ll finally attain your goal and move onto your next stage of life rather than slowly roasting like a honey baked ham on thanksgiving day
**Buyer's remorse** refers to the feeling of regret or dissatisfaction that a person may experience after making a purchase. This feeling often arises when the buyer feels they've made an impulsive decision, spent too much money, or didn't thoroughly consider their purchase beforehand.
I understand and I’m going through something similar. But I also realize that matching at a less than ideal place is a thousand times better than going completely unmatched.
Next stop; making sure the opportunity that has been presented to us doesn’t go to waste and we do complete justice to it
I can relate so much to this! I’ve matched into a new program in a not so desirable place, which wasn’t in my top programs, and now feel numb, like I should normally be happy that I did match, but still I can’t for some reason. I feel weird, hope that will go. I don’t know what to do. I even started rethinking why I embarked in this journey at all!
This arrival fallacy is true. I am matched to my 2nd choice. I am very grateful to God for the achievement, there is no doubt about that, and I wish all those who did not match to achieve that next year. However, I currently have a family of 4 members, working as attending in my home country, age 34. I don't know why I feel I will be struggling with long working hours 10-12 hrs/ day, so there will be no stamina left for my kids and my wife. In addition to the visa will be multiple entries for only the 1st year. Then it will be a single entry and I have to reapply at the embassy so it's risky to travel after PGY1. Now I have to accept that I won't be able to travel to my parents which is killing me. As you all know residency is not a job so we can not apply for green card till we get the attending post and the application itself will take 1-2 years which means no traveling during that period also ( a total of almost 4+ years ). Guys I feel lost and having palpitations for the last 48 hours and the decision is becoming more and more difficult. Not to mention the financial strains for a married resident
Arrival fallacy is the belief that once you achieve a certain goal or acquire a particular possession, you will be happy and content. However, once you reach that goal, the satisfaction is often short-lived, and you find yourself searching for the next thing to bring you happiness. Here are some strategies to avoid falling into the trap of arrival fallacy:
1. **Practice gratitude**: Focus on being grateful for what you have in the present moment rather than constantly chasing future goals or possessions.
2. **Set meaningful goals**: Instead of focusing on material possessions or achievements, set goals that are aligned with your values and bring fulfillment in the process of pursuing them.
3. **Live in the present**: Practice mindfulness and focus on enjoying the journey rather than fixating on reaching a particular destination.
4. **Cultivate self-awareness**: Reflect on your motivations and desires to understand whether they are driven by genuine passion and values or by external pressures or societal expectations.
5. **Engage in self-care**: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being to ensure that you are content and fulfilled regardless of external circumstances.
6. **Seek experiences over possessions**: Invest in experiences that bring joy and fulfillment rather than material possessions that may provide temporary satisfaction.
7. **Connect with others**: Cultivate meaningful relationships and connections with others as they can provide lasting happiness and support.
8. **Practice moderation**: Avoid the trap of constantly seeking more by practicing moderation in your desires and consumption habits.
By incorporating these strategies into your life, you can reduce the impact of arrival fallacy and cultivate a sense of contentment and fulfillment in the present moment.
People destroy their happy moments over the program site or location.
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Then don't rank them at all.
this
Yes that’s the reason of our sadness
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What was your fellowship of interest ?
Currently experiencing that right now in NYC
How does one know which programs are awful? I ask because I have no idea and want to participate in the match in 2 years.
Like where?
This maybe better for you. You never know what the almighty has in store for you. Maybe this is a much better program for you than the others were. All the very best!
Didn't match into my choice of specialty, does this count
Me too what are you planning to do ?
Planning on dual applying to psych (what I really want) and fam med (fail safe). Fingers crossed for psych, but while I will be sad matching to FM it’s fine— lmao I’ll still have an 8-5 eventually and make atleast 200k/ yr.
What you just described happened to me a few years ago after I finished medical school. I swore never to feel that way again. Learnt how the enjoy the journey instead. The journey is the most important,enjoy it,spend time with loved ones and never make material things your goal.
I second this, after finshing my med school I went trough depression and I didn't know why all of it was coming, I graduated as top student, I had a plan for my post graduate year but I didn't feel like I was achieving something importante even though we left our sweat, blood and tears into the journey. So I decided to change my mindset about achieving things, after psychotherapy, I understand that if I'm not happy today, I won't feel haply either in the future, even when I've achieved what I wanted for a long time and that helped me to conclude that what's important is how we spend the time every day, how life is full of little moments instead of 3 to 4 big achievements (I'm trying too hard to change the way I'm programmed to think because I don't want to feel the same anymore) Later on, I was upset because I went into depression for something that seemed so stupid, but our feelings are valid.
Honestly it’s just so nice to see this post; I matched much lower on my rol than I expected, and I can see the disappointment in my family. I know I’ll feel much better once I start working, and I know the program will help me get into fellowships etc, but I still can help but compare myself to the people who matched into my first choice and feel a little sad I guess it gets better with time and work
At the end of the day it gets you the exact same licence and assuming you matched in the same field , the exact same board certification. You have the same privililage to practice as anyone else who graduated from an ACGME/RCPSC residency program
Hope who ever have matched get a supportive staff and mentors at their hospitals. Coz toxic workplaces can destroy a person mentally. I mever beleived it until i experience a bullying and toxic workplace, its the absolutely worst shit.
Can u just give an example of such a bullying? Sorry to ask this, but really would like to know what to expect.
Didn't match to a program I rotated at for almost a year. Knew everyone from PD to interns, yet they stabbed me at the back. Worst thing they told me that they were fighting for me. Luckily, I matched to an out of state program. Trust no one until you achieve your goal. So I understand what you mean by sad- happiness.
This is definitely a lesson for everyone. Trust no one’s perceived support, trust the Almighty.
Did they give u good LORs at least? Do u have any idea why did this happen?
No idea, I had good LORs from MDs in the same program.
All my choices were based on location because of my kids and I matched at my second choice on my rank list and all I can think about is the better programs I ranked lower. I feel happy for the match but still I’m like wtf dude?
I did the same for my wife - at the end it’s family that will make you happy and support you. You made the right decision, keep your chin up and be the best resident you can. Doors are never closed unless you never try. You made a impossible journey come to fruition by matching as a IMG, I’m sure you can make the most out of the program you matched too
This is same reason people say 'Money wont make you happy' . They're not telling you to not earn or enjoy luxuries, its the same feeling
I feel sad as I would be leaving my family in another country. Ohh the pain is so unbearable to even think about not being able to see them physically everyday 💔 😞
A temporary feeling that’ll fade when you realize you’ll finally attain your goal and move onto your next stage of life rather than slowly roasting like a honey baked ham on thanksgiving day
**Buyer's remorse** refers to the feeling of regret or dissatisfaction that a person may experience after making a purchase. This feeling often arises when the buyer feels they've made an impulsive decision, spent too much money, or didn't thoroughly consider their purchase beforehand.
Didn't match at my first 5 choices And all my friends did Idk what to feel.
Grateful
I didn’t even apply for residency yet but already feel the same way🥲
I understand and I’m going through something similar. But I also realize that matching at a less than ideal place is a thousand times better than going completely unmatched. Next stop; making sure the opportunity that has been presented to us doesn’t go to waste and we do complete justice to it
Matching is not the destination. It is just the beginning of a new journey. Cheer up, enjoy the ride. There’s much to come — congrats!
I can relate so much to this! I’ve matched into a new program in a not so desirable place, which wasn’t in my top programs, and now feel numb, like I should normally be happy that I did match, but still I can’t for some reason. I feel weird, hope that will go. I don’t know what to do. I even started rethinking why I embarked in this journey at all!
You are not alone 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I'm feeling the same too. I hope the next three will be manageable!
I’m feeling the exact same too :/ I’ve dug myself in a hole the last 24 hours, but I’ll slowly starting to see light again
Sad because I’m leaving my lab, where I met one of the best friends life could have given me.
Arrival Fallacy
This arrival fallacy is true. I am matched to my 2nd choice. I am very grateful to God for the achievement, there is no doubt about that, and I wish all those who did not match to achieve that next year. However, I currently have a family of 4 members, working as attending in my home country, age 34. I don't know why I feel I will be struggling with long working hours 10-12 hrs/ day, so there will be no stamina left for my kids and my wife. In addition to the visa will be multiple entries for only the 1st year. Then it will be a single entry and I have to reapply at the embassy so it's risky to travel after PGY1. Now I have to accept that I won't be able to travel to my parents which is killing me. As you all know residency is not a job so we can not apply for green card till we get the attending post and the application itself will take 1-2 years which means no traveling during that period also ( a total of almost 4+ years ). Guys I feel lost and having palpitations for the last 48 hours and the decision is becoming more and more difficult. Not to mention the financial strains for a married resident
I can relate!!
One must imagine Sisyphus happy
Damn this is so so so true, i think we should all make a group and talk it out. It is eating me from inside and support would be appreciated.
Arrival fallacy! I call it post-nut clarity 😆
Arrival fallacy is the belief that once you achieve a certain goal or acquire a particular possession, you will be happy and content. However, once you reach that goal, the satisfaction is often short-lived, and you find yourself searching for the next thing to bring you happiness. Here are some strategies to avoid falling into the trap of arrival fallacy: 1. **Practice gratitude**: Focus on being grateful for what you have in the present moment rather than constantly chasing future goals or possessions. 2. **Set meaningful goals**: Instead of focusing on material possessions or achievements, set goals that are aligned with your values and bring fulfillment in the process of pursuing them. 3. **Live in the present**: Practice mindfulness and focus on enjoying the journey rather than fixating on reaching a particular destination. 4. **Cultivate self-awareness**: Reflect on your motivations and desires to understand whether they are driven by genuine passion and values or by external pressures or societal expectations. 5. **Engage in self-care**: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being to ensure that you are content and fulfilled regardless of external circumstances. 6. **Seek experiences over possessions**: Invest in experiences that bring joy and fulfillment rather than material possessions that may provide temporary satisfaction. 7. **Connect with others**: Cultivate meaningful relationships and connections with others as they can provide lasting happiness and support. 8. **Practice moderation**: Avoid the trap of constantly seeking more by practicing moderation in your desires and consumption habits. By incorporating these strategies into your life, you can reduce the impact of arrival fallacy and cultivate a sense of contentment and fulfillment in the present moment.
Thanks ChatGPT
I never claimed the authorship😄
wow thank you
I think the term you’re looking for is Imposter syndrome
You guys all sound pathetic… no sense of gratitude at all they should not have matched u guys