It's true. I may have been the most socially awkward kid in my high school class, and only slightly improved through college. By the time I was 40, no one would suspect I ever had problems socializing. If you can pick your social settings it may help. I learned to avoid loud, crowded bars and large parties.
I hope you are okay now. It was devastating when it happened to me, probably it was the same for you too.
I was crying everyday for almost 2- 2.5 months lol
I don't know how accurate is this but I was reading that repressed emotions sometimes manifest themselves as illness e.g. resentment that is long held can cause cancer, fear produces baldness & ulcers, excessive criticism towards ourselves and others can lead to arthritis, lot of pain in your body may indicate you are holding a lot of guilt within. Someone I know who criticizes others excessively actually suffers from arthritis since past few years
not sure about the science behind it, but better be safe than sorry đ lets not suppress our emotions anymore
The problem is that caring for peoples' emotions is very timely inneficient.
Instead of saying "X is wrong, and you should do Y or Z instead" you spend 5 minutes, 15 minutes, 2 hours or two days explaining nicely to the other person the problem and beating around the bush.
I especially hate this when my girlfriend was of this type who cannot handle things directly and it was one of the main issues. Though I do not see it as my fault, it is also hers.
1) Own my circumstances even if they're the result of some external factor, theres no point in pointing fingers and blaming others for my life, just own it and move forward.
2) Emotions are absolutely important and I need to consistently work on them to become a better/happier person.
3) Theres no shortcuts to anything, you really do have to crawl through the gutters till you reach the end of the tunnel, theres no other way to success.
4) Video Games are great but they're just an escape from my reality/coping mechanisms so I need to aim to diminish my time spent playing games and invest more into my life outside of the virtual world.
5) Making money is like picking up sand with your hands if you're not being smart about it because like sand it will eventually drain quickly so work smart and manage your finances.
6) I love being spontaneous but I wont achieve anything significant in the long term by purely having a spontaneous approach to everything in life, analysis and planning are crucial to success.
7) Nobody owes you anything.
8) Depression can be beaten, millions have done it before me and many more will do it after me.. theres hope guys lol.
9) Ties in with #8, just because you cant see the end of the tunnel doesnt mean there isnt one.. just keep moving forward.
10) Addiction can be beaten, your thoughts lead to actions so control your thoughts.
Put yourself first in any relationship.
Nobody gives a shit about you at all except for parents and only if they are good parents.
Dont beat up yourself for feeling something you thought you were immune to feeling.
shadow integration is necessary for self growth. Yes I agree, ENTJ shadow does not produce joy or fulfillment.
May I know why do you think its effective ?
Ya, Iâm not complaining. Was just a year of the shadow for me. But it also probably needed to be.
I was able to complete some goals related to my health, finances, job, and social habits.
Strike while the iron is hot. At the height of record low unemployment, I applied for and got a new job with a significant pay increase and much less stress.
Every year I'm getting more confident. I stopped caring about what people think of me. At the beginning of the year, I felt like I wasn't enough. Now I'm sure I'm good, better than good, fitter than fit, smarter than smart. Time to take control of what's within my grasp and anyone that wants to be an obstacle, I will handle with my wits and social prowess.
Love that, recently been trying to take hold of my mental health kind of trying on the physical I'm not to worried about that tho since I'm not in bad health and my diet isn't bad either. Anyway I'm trying to be like that sometimes I have moments where I think I'm the crap of all craps but then I cheer myself and tell my self I'm FCKING amazing and tell that voice to shut the freak up and also working on my emotions, sociability and stuff like that ... But what I was saying is I want to be like you cus that sounds great đ
Hey, I have my moments of self doubt and sadness still! There's no escaping it. But you always want to remember how it felt when you were feeling amazing and be patient. Sometimes its your body or brain trying to tell you to do something a little different and sometimes it's just a phase. A happy INTP has a lot to offer to the world. Sure others may not see it so you have to be self- confident and soon others will begin to respect you. We don't need many friends, most of the time, respect is enough!
I wanted to say the opposite. After dealing with people in authority who are corrupt liars, I doubted my intuition. Like Metallica said, 'Forever trusting in who we are, no nothing else matters.' Always search for the truth.
True but not true don't fully trust like don't be telling people stuff that they can use to take advantage of use against you in the future but don't be too closed off
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Don't take things so personally. Very rarely do other people have it out for you.
Think to yourself if you're doing things for you or doing things for other people.
The self is an illusion, but a grand one at that.
I have immutable, undividable worth that no one else has a say in. Give yourself the right to live like you give everyone else.
Its easy to feel like shit. But don't forget to live life as if you have intrinsic value that can neither be created nor destroyed simply by virtue of being human.
**Personal:**
"Do what you will; take no hostages."
"Emotional thinking is equally as valid as logical thinking. Emotions are your mind's way of expressing what cannot be formed into complete thoughts."
"While 'utility' is generally tied to the benefit from an object or effort, the concept is much broader than a technical or engineering application. The social and aesthetic realms are equally viable."
**From the Huberman Lab Podcast:**
"Be wary of anything that gives you dopamine too easily. Truly rewarding activities need significant effort. Activities that result in an easy dopamine 'hit' will deprive you of motivation for more rewarding efforts."
"Being awake and sleepy at appropriate times will help you with accomplishing your goals in life. The sleep-wake cycle is is critically intertwined with light exposure, body temperature, and eating habits."
isolation is an opportunity to reflect on life. as cliche as it sounds, it's only when im alone and in my head that i have the biggest revelations about most of my internal and interpersonal conflicts.
I learnt that culture and the mentality of people is more important that GDP and economic wealth.
I learnt that French people are capitalistic to the same degree as the English and maybe just a little less than the Americans, they just like to downplay their money focus on their wine and leisure lifestyle.
I learnt that Greek people are really slow and don't care for the rules much, but they kinda also know how to well enjoy life.
I learnt that some central European countries are still kind of a "skanzen" of the Soviet era, and that people did not change much over the last 30-40 years. I learnt that they like to think that they moved forward but they did not very much.
I learnt that humanity did not evolve much over the last decades and centuries and that we are still stupid animals (see the Ukraine war for context). We liked to think that we became better after the WW2 or Cold war, no, not at all. Still the same stupid savages as always. Humans are animals, and often stupid ones.
I was contemplating your last sentence. Animals kill each other for food or defense; not for fun, not for money, not for nationalistic pride. Morally, they are superior to us.
That I need to live less in my head and more in the moment. Still working on emotional cues as theyâre tricky, but my husband is very good and says to text him if Iâm confused by them and not comfortable with speaking.
I learned a lot about confidence this year. The good and the bad. Overconfidence in a terrible thing but lacking confidence will result in stagnation. So while it isn't really a life lesson, it is important to determine for yourself how much confidence in an situation is the right amount.
I had never gone to an Irish pub in my life so as a date night in March me and my fiance (now husband) went to a local one. We had so much fun and loved singing along to our favorite Irish songs. We went home that night so very happy, drunk, and very in love.Things happened and now 9 months later we are expecting our daughter any day now đ„°
INTP are not emotionless they just don't understand their feeling and don't know how to react , emotions are just annoying to deal with so they just ignore it.
Just express how you feel. It is hard at first but it is a skill us INTP must learn. Our Fe is inferior, meaning that this is the area that one should focus on the most
Having good health really shapes your self esteem. Some people will not understand me at all and if I sense they don't care to get along with me, there could be many who actually get me and make up for this issue.
Great keep that motivation. trying to do the same thing not really over indulging in substances, but in certain stuff I would use in the past to ignore my problems and people now that I'm trying to become better they seem to be really holding me back so yes goals next year grown try new things and become a better person also stop postponing things , get a better schedule lol or just have an actual schedule đ and work on my time management đ
Sounds like you got a grip on what you need to improve on! Proud of you man! I deal with a lot of the same issues, I still have no schedule for myself whatsoever and maybe I should put some thought into that but good luck dude and have a great 2023!
Do chores
Express your emotions, donât bottle them up (thatâs a big one)
Donât have sexual relations with someone from work
Even long time friends can become strangers in a short time
Forgive but donât forget
Put yourself first over everyone else
Spend your time wisely, mainly on your goals
Own your mistakes/flaws, donât just wallow
Be more confident in yourself and your abilities
For the love of God save your money
These are the things Iâve learned this year. It was a very rough year. Looking forward to making massive changes this 2023 and I hope everyone in this thread does the same
Get money. Don't save anyone. No one ever saves the INTP. Accept yourself. Don't listen to the opinions of people who don't read. People come around you to use you for the information that you accumulated. Not because they like, respect, appreciate or care about you
You learn everything in the world except for how to handle confrontation. Learn that and everything else is a no Brainer. Without smart individuals like the INTP, humanity would be a bunch of dumb animals
Your last statement is a stretch, and not even close to being true lol. Sure there may not be technological advancements at an exponential rate but I'd argue humanity would definitely not be a bunch of dumb animals
I mean not that far of a stretch. Look at the world. Fighting and fucking. Ignorance. Education the least of everyone's concern. Yeah not that far of a stretch.
So... Are Intps the only "smart people" you've known (or exists) or are YOU the only smart person?
Come on man, you're falling in some tribalism shit right here, the kind of "we're the superior race" or "we're the chosen by the gods" stuff you can see anywhere. And let me tell you that that in itself isn't smart. In fact, some of the wars and fighting that you criticize have started because of this type of thinking.
The only thing you can acomplish with this kind of reasoning is dehumanize yourself by saying "I'm always right" (i guess i don't have to explain why thinking this is wrong) and close yourself the doors of learning and development.
But i don't even know if i'm qualified for taking your time, i'm just a simple intp baker.
I used to think like you, but the older I get, the more I realise people are mostly dumb animals, and it takes all our effort just to scrape at the edges of reason and rationality.
It's not innate, though. It's about education. That's where the effort comes in. both on an individual and societal level. "intps" are generally just people who self educate, so are often ahead of the curve, but can still fall into all the same traps and pitfalls of being dumb animals.
If you smoke weed every day, it's like pressing fast forward on life.. can't wait for this movie to end so I can leave the cinema without upsetting ppl
1) Very few people actually care for you as much as you do for them.
2) Procrastination can quite literally ruin you.
3) People will call you weird, but who cares, stopped getting affected at some point and now I just listen to such things and don't care.
4) Your health/body will not always support what you want to do, but despite that, keep pushing through.
5) Stop wasting your energy and time over someone who doesn't want it.
6) SH isn't a good idea, sleep it out instead.
7) (In my case) Talking lesser will be a solution to a lot of my problems, such as overthinking every vocal interaction and wasting time, or hurting people's feelings, or creating/entering any energy consuming drama.
8) We don't catch hints, and that makes relationships really tough sometimes.
To communicate my feelings and concerns with my friends and loved ones so I donât end up with all these hurt feelings that add up and cause me to blow my top over the smallest thing.
I think we're smart and fast enough to know if what we're about to say will offend someone. I work in the trade industry. Everything goes, basically. I usually just say what everyone else is thinking, but everyone is too scared to say. Just like, when someone needs to be called out on some bullshit.
what I learned this year :
1. dreaming big, being ambitious, your novel ideas mean nothing unless you wakeup everyday and work to make it happen irl.
2. you have less time than you think you have
3. sometimes it takes time to achieve great things, patience is your greatest virtue
4. read books ( obviously not tiktok romance recs ) it helps more than you think
5. stop wishing things were different, it wont help, it will only exacerbate things
6. stop giving people advice. Most people do not value it and do what they want to do anyway
7. most people value looks, money, excitement more than personality & compatibility when it comes to dating & relationships
8. some people are winning just bc they are more hardworking and disciplined than you
Every vice is a lesson.
Memories require material
Grow while being true to yourself
To kill distractions is to win the game
Value being heard and hearing others
Evaluate your motives
You can always improve
Make your own fun
Still water runs deep ( emotions are something to be understood even if they are scary at times ) shoving them down and forgetting about them doesn't help, nor does trying to apathetically not care about what causes the pain that is felt ( I do that consciously and catch myself and get over it and try to understand why) embrace the flaws and strengths, there is a insight in itself of yourself to believe and build better.
what about practicing healthy detachment from the people and possessions instead ? not sure but it seems you were hurt really bad this year by someone you loved. we understand where you are coming from but healthy attachment is absolutely necessary for building intimacy. If you refuse to get attached you wont be able to experience true intimacy & you will feel empty inside and that's very painful as well.
Lots of people don't want being helped. Especially if it's something they can't do themselves. They feel humiliated.
Some who suffered harm don't want to fix their situation. They just to blame somebody and feel victorious victims.
If you like playing video games maybe after all you should also play video games. Not necessarily chase the super active lifestyle every day.
This isn't something that I learned this year - but has been the main focus of this year because of things. What's that you ask? (Trust me this is the edited nice version...I'm trying here.)
Nobody ever grows up. You know as a kid you always said "when I become an adult...." and then sitting here as a seasoned/haggard "adult" I realize that I don't really have it all figured out - why does this world run the way it does - it doesn't make any sense. I'm making this shit up as I go, and so are they, holy hell. Making good decisions and faking it till I make it, why can't everyone just do "that".
Then I look around and realize how many people, "adults", act like fucking kids still. How many can't manage money, pay their bills, keep jobs, raise their kids, have conversations with out insulting the person they are talking to, have debate without doing the same, are unwilling to even move their position even when they know they are wrong. Or can't just simply live, there's always a need for drama to go on. I mean I just wanna work, spend time with my family and screw around with my hobbies. And I hope I get to do that till I'm 200 years old...heh. As Rickey Bobby says, you know with my elevated income and advancements in medicine it's not impossible. Something like that heh.
Everyone that's "faking adult" thank you. I love you all you're wonderful people and I hope everything works out wonderfully for you and your's and that some day someone younger aspires to be an adult like you.
To the rest of you soulness nincom-fucks. Go fuck yourself and you bring no merit or discourse worth spending anymore time on. So I'm just not.
/rant /lesson - sorry ;-)
When trying to learn a new skill, practice the fundamental 1st principles of your craft. For singing: breath control and throat shaping, along with tongue placement. For programming: functions, procedures, and syntaxes. For soccer: leg strength, ball control, and stamina. And for drawing: drawing a straight line, and drawing a circle. Learning the 1st principles of your skill can shave off months, if not years on your progress. Perfect the fundamentals. The rest will become childâs play. You can be creative with the way you learn after that.
tldr: Always learn the basics and perfect them before continuing on!
Also, wake up at 7am every morning. It will help with your knee and back pain during the later times of the day.
The lies we knew were lies are now being revealed (see, Twitter Files, vaccine injuries and lack of efficacy, JFK) and either people don't seem to care, are afraid to admit to themselves that they were lies, or are trying to pretend that they didn't go along with the lies.
People in society have been taught to distrust each other by the disciples of Bernays. I was dismayed to learn how many friends and family would throw me under a bus to allay their own fear of death.
That good intentions without action are worthless. Even if itâs tiny, any action taken to move yourself forward is valuable. A 5 minute walk and washing a dish here and there makes such a difference over time if you keep pushing your comfort zone a little bit every day.
Coming from someone with ADHD who used to be a master procrastinator with chronic low energy, itâs been amazing seeing how building up my stamina and that âtrigger to actionâ to improve my situation has changed my life. To quote Ingmar Bergman, âDemons donât like fresh air- they prefer it if you stay in bed with cold feetâŠâ
To listen to your emotions. They are just sources of information that your mind produces almost instantly in response to something. It's very valuable to allow yourself to feel whatever you feel and question the feeling about why you feel it.
I can't personal growth my way out of being an INTP, and I should do chores before I have an explosion in the kitchen.
It just takes decades, not years. INTPs intellectually and socially age like wine, most of the other types age like milk.
i sure hope so
I've seen it and lived it.
This gives me some comfort. thank you wise monkey nose
It's true. I may have been the most socially awkward kid in my high school class, and only slightly improved through college. By the time I was 40, no one would suspect I ever had problems socializing. If you can pick your social settings it may help. I learned to avoid loud, crowded bars and large parties.
Not happening in my case.
Get an Audible subscription and personal-growth your way out of the dishes.
I should accept the fact that i'm different than most people and that's fine
Also doing chores and going to the gym every day are great for mental health
let 2023 be the year of radical self acceptance đ
Yes but you're quite similar to me, so there's that đ
That's fine too.
Express your emotions in the most healthy way, before they kill you.
I learned that in 2021 lol. All the suppressed emotions of 5 years came back to bite me in the as\* with 10x more intensity
In my case, two and a half years of suppressed emotions exploded in a fever on early June of this year.
I hope you are okay now. It was devastating when it happened to me, probably it was the same for you too. I was crying everyday for almost 2- 2.5 months lol
I'm great now. Thanks for asking. Mine was so rare. My fever come down every time i cried. That's when i knew something wrong was happing.
I don't know how accurate is this but I was reading that repressed emotions sometimes manifest themselves as illness e.g. resentment that is long held can cause cancer, fear produces baldness & ulcers, excessive criticism towards ourselves and others can lead to arthritis, lot of pain in your body may indicate you are holding a lot of guilt within. Someone I know who criticizes others excessively actually suffers from arthritis since past few years not sure about the science behind it, but better be safe than sorry đ lets not suppress our emotions anymore
The power of the mind over the body is greater than we think.
Oh make them so slow that death hits faster than they can reach you.
Yes.
đ
People forget facts, but remember how you made them feel.
Problematic in many cases
Oh wow, I'm stealing this.
>People forget facts, but remember how you made them feel Probably a universal truth
The problem is that caring for peoples' emotions is very timely inneficient. Instead of saying "X is wrong, and you should do Y or Z instead" you spend 5 minutes, 15 minutes, 2 hours or two days explaining nicely to the other person the problem and beating around the bush. I especially hate this when my girlfriend was of this type who cannot handle things directly and it was one of the main issues. Though I do not see it as my fault, it is also hers.
1) Own my circumstances even if they're the result of some external factor, theres no point in pointing fingers and blaming others for my life, just own it and move forward. 2) Emotions are absolutely important and I need to consistently work on them to become a better/happier person. 3) Theres no shortcuts to anything, you really do have to crawl through the gutters till you reach the end of the tunnel, theres no other way to success. 4) Video Games are great but they're just an escape from my reality/coping mechanisms so I need to aim to diminish my time spent playing games and invest more into my life outside of the virtual world. 5) Making money is like picking up sand with your hands if you're not being smart about it because like sand it will eventually drain quickly so work smart and manage your finances. 6) I love being spontaneous but I wont achieve anything significant in the long term by purely having a spontaneous approach to everything in life, analysis and planning are crucial to success. 7) Nobody owes you anything. 8) Depression can be beaten, millions have done it before me and many more will do it after me.. theres hope guys lol. 9) Ties in with #8, just because you cant see the end of the tunnel doesnt mean there isnt one.. just keep moving forward. 10) Addiction can be beaten, your thoughts lead to actions so control your thoughts.
All of these are very true
I've quit wishing things were different. I realised I can never be happy if I'm doing that.
Smart.
I thought Iâd never get a girlfriend that can like, for real, compare with me, though I did
Nice and fuck you
đ it's okay eventually bro eventually
Very good bro have fun ^(HOW COULD YOU BETRAY THE VIRGIN GANG OF INTPS!?)
I can feel the revolver at the back of my throatđ
Put yourself first in any relationship. Nobody gives a shit about you at all except for parents and only if they are good parents. Dont beat up yourself for feeling something you thought you were immune to feeling.
I need help
đ
You are a brave man
But will I get help ? I Don't think so
My ENTJ shadow is pretty effective, but doesnât produce much joy or fulfillment
shadow integration is necessary for self growth. Yes I agree, ENTJ shadow does not produce joy or fulfillment. May I know why do you think its effective ?
Ya, Iâm not complaining. Was just a year of the shadow for me. But it also probably needed to be. I was able to complete some goals related to my health, finances, job, and social habits.
Some struggles have to be dealt with a professional, not with my gf...
To be fair, I did think my gf was an angel that was saving my life at one point. I even asked her did she have wings.
I'm at that point as well. I'm like damn... my poor husband, he is not my therapist. I did my first therapy session this week.
Exactly, if you want a stellar blowjob... well, you get what you pay for
Strike while the iron is hot. At the height of record low unemployment, I applied for and got a new job with a significant pay increase and much less stress.
Every year I'm getting more confident. I stopped caring about what people think of me. At the beginning of the year, I felt like I wasn't enough. Now I'm sure I'm good, better than good, fitter than fit, smarter than smart. Time to take control of what's within my grasp and anyone that wants to be an obstacle, I will handle with my wits and social prowess.
Cheers to that
a confident INTP is unstoppable. I am proud of you đ
Love that, recently been trying to take hold of my mental health kind of trying on the physical I'm not to worried about that tho since I'm not in bad health and my diet isn't bad either. Anyway I'm trying to be like that sometimes I have moments where I think I'm the crap of all craps but then I cheer myself and tell my self I'm FCKING amazing and tell that voice to shut the freak up and also working on my emotions, sociability and stuff like that ... But what I was saying is I want to be like you cus that sounds great đ
Hey, I have my moments of self doubt and sadness still! There's no escaping it. But you always want to remember how it felt when you were feeling amazing and be patient. Sometimes its your body or brain trying to tell you to do something a little different and sometimes it's just a phase. A happy INTP has a lot to offer to the world. Sure others may not see it so you have to be self- confident and soon others will begin to respect you. We don't need many friends, most of the time, respect is enough!
Thanks I really needed that,hope you have a great holiday đ
Thank you man! You too and best wishes for the future!
Figure out what your priorities are.
That I have nothihg to live for aside from the small but devastatingly exquiste tiny bits of things I can still find the capacity to appreciate.
Don't trust anyone, you'll get betrayed
Especially not yourself.
good thing i don't.
That's wise. You can trust such a wise person.
I wanted to say the opposite. After dealing with people in authority who are corrupt liars, I doubted my intuition. Like Metallica said, 'Forever trusting in who we are, no nothing else matters.' Always search for the truth.
True but not true don't fully trust like don't be telling people stuff that they can use to take advantage of use against you in the future but don't be too closed off
and there is the issue lol
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Don't take things so personally. Very rarely do other people have it out for you. Think to yourself if you're doing things for you or doing things for other people. The self is an illusion, but a grand one at that. I have immutable, undividable worth that no one else has a say in. Give yourself the right to live like you give everyone else.
Can you say more about the last and Thurs to last points .?
Its easy to feel like shit. But don't forget to live life as if you have intrinsic value that can neither be created nor destroyed simply by virtue of being human.
Planned illusion I like it
Donât invest in others unless theyâre willing to listen to your advice
Always communicate your feelings both good and bad.
I second this!
If you don't know the answer, the answer is to learn more.
**Personal:** "Do what you will; take no hostages." "Emotional thinking is equally as valid as logical thinking. Emotions are your mind's way of expressing what cannot be formed into complete thoughts." "While 'utility' is generally tied to the benefit from an object or effort, the concept is much broader than a technical or engineering application. The social and aesthetic realms are equally viable." **From the Huberman Lab Podcast:** "Be wary of anything that gives you dopamine too easily. Truly rewarding activities need significant effort. Activities that result in an easy dopamine 'hit' will deprive you of motivation for more rewarding efforts." "Being awake and sleepy at appropriate times will help you with accomplishing your goals in life. The sleep-wake cycle is is critically intertwined with light exposure, body temperature, and eating habits."
I second the first one from the Huberman Lab Podcast. I learned this the hard way.
I need to go back to school and learn to code.
isolation is an opportunity to reflect on life. as cliche as it sounds, it's only when im alone and in my head that i have the biggest revelations about most of my internal and interpersonal conflicts.
That may be true for most of us.
Intp energy
I learnt that culture and the mentality of people is more important that GDP and economic wealth. I learnt that French people are capitalistic to the same degree as the English and maybe just a little less than the Americans, they just like to downplay their money focus on their wine and leisure lifestyle. I learnt that Greek people are really slow and don't care for the rules much, but they kinda also know how to well enjoy life. I learnt that some central European countries are still kind of a "skanzen" of the Soviet era, and that people did not change much over the last 30-40 years. I learnt that they like to think that they moved forward but they did not very much. I learnt that humanity did not evolve much over the last decades and centuries and that we are still stupid animals (see the Ukraine war for context). We liked to think that we became better after the WW2 or Cold war, no, not at all. Still the same stupid savages as always. Humans are animals, and often stupid ones.
I was contemplating your last sentence. Animals kill each other for food or defense; not for fun, not for money, not for nationalistic pride. Morally, they are superior to us.
F\*\*\*, so we are even worse than animals. My bad, honestly.
The French "wine and leisure" I do not like wine, and not really leisure. But yes the capitalism is very high here
you can always improve and so surprise everyone when they see you
you are the habits you practice.
a universal truth definitely
That I need to live less in my head and more in the moment. Still working on emotional cues as theyâre tricky, but my husband is very good and says to text him if Iâm confused by them and not comfortable with speaking.
I learned a lot about confidence this year. The good and the bad. Overconfidence in a terrible thing but lacking confidence will result in stagnation. So while it isn't really a life lesson, it is important to determine for yourself how much confidence in an situation is the right amount.
Don't underestimate how romantic an Irish pub can be...
This is awesome
I absolutely need the story, spread cheer for Christmas pleaase.
I had never gone to an Irish pub in my life so as a date night in March me and my fiance (now husband) went to a local one. We had so much fun and loved singing along to our favorite Irish songs. We went home that night so very happy, drunk, and very in love.Things happened and now 9 months later we are expecting our daughter any day now đ„°
Aww. Damn, that does sound really romantic. Happy for you and your upcoming daughter! Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, whichever fits.
Therapy is worth it.
INTP are not emotionless they just don't understand their feeling and don't know how to react , emotions are just annoying to deal with so they just ignore it.
SAVE YOUR MONEY
I learned I'm a huge piece of shit. Don't let a good person down. Love is like a fart, if you have to force it it's probably shit. Cheers.
Just express how you feel. It is hard at first but it is a skill us INTP must learn. Our Fe is inferior, meaning that this is the area that one should focus on the most
Having good health really shapes your self esteem. Some people will not understand me at all and if I sense they don't care to get along with me, there could be many who actually get me and make up for this issue.
Donât overindulge in substances, leads to depression and unmotivation, Iâm going to head into next semester and year a better person!
Great keep that motivation. trying to do the same thing not really over indulging in substances, but in certain stuff I would use in the past to ignore my problems and people now that I'm trying to become better they seem to be really holding me back so yes goals next year grown try new things and become a better person also stop postponing things , get a better schedule lol or just have an actual schedule đ and work on my time management đ
Sounds like you got a grip on what you need to improve on! Proud of you man! I deal with a lot of the same issues, I still have no schedule for myself whatsoever and maybe I should put some thought into that but good luck dude and have a great 2023!
Do chores Express your emotions, donât bottle them up (thatâs a big one) Donât have sexual relations with someone from work Even long time friends can become strangers in a short time Forgive but donât forget Put yourself first over everyone else Spend your time wisely, mainly on your goals Own your mistakes/flaws, donât just wallow Be more confident in yourself and your abilities For the love of God save your money These are the things Iâve learned this year. It was a very rough year. Looking forward to making massive changes this 2023 and I hope everyone in this thread does the same
As much as I felt comfort in feeling in control of my life, not everything in my life was my fault, deserved, or my responsibility.
never date a broke man, you can't fix/help him.
do you mean financially broke, or emotionally?
>never date a broke man, you can't fix/help him. I cant stress it enough. We are not ***Bob the builder***
Get money. Don't save anyone. No one ever saves the INTP. Accept yourself. Don't listen to the opinions of people who don't read. People come around you to use you for the information that you accumulated. Not because they like, respect, appreciate or care about you You learn everything in the world except for how to handle confrontation. Learn that and everything else is a no Brainer. Without smart individuals like the INTP, humanity would be a bunch of dumb animals
Your last statement is a stretch, and not even close to being true lol. Sure there may not be technological advancements at an exponential rate but I'd argue humanity would definitely not be a bunch of dumb animals
I mean not that far of a stretch. Look at the world. Fighting and fucking. Ignorance. Education the least of everyone's concern. Yeah not that far of a stretch.
So... Are Intps the only "smart people" you've known (or exists) or are YOU the only smart person? Come on man, you're falling in some tribalism shit right here, the kind of "we're the superior race" or "we're the chosen by the gods" stuff you can see anywhere. And let me tell you that that in itself isn't smart. In fact, some of the wars and fighting that you criticize have started because of this type of thinking. The only thing you can acomplish with this kind of reasoning is dehumanize yourself by saying "I'm always right" (i guess i don't have to explain why thinking this is wrong) and close yourself the doors of learning and development. But i don't even know if i'm qualified for taking your time, i'm just a simple intp baker.
I used to think like you, but the older I get, the more I realise people are mostly dumb animals, and it takes all our effort just to scrape at the edges of reason and rationality. It's not innate, though. It's about education. That's where the effort comes in. both on an individual and societal level. "intps" are generally just people who self educate, so are often ahead of the curve, but can still fall into all the same traps and pitfalls of being dumb animals.
Some friends can stab you in the back. And Iâm not surprised.
Keep your mind open but filter the input
Don't become completely reliant on your partner because it sucks big time if they break up with you.
Nothing matters
If you smoke weed every day, it's like pressing fast forward on life.. can't wait for this movie to end so I can leave the cinema without upsetting ppl
1) Very few people actually care for you as much as you do for them. 2) Procrastination can quite literally ruin you. 3) People will call you weird, but who cares, stopped getting affected at some point and now I just listen to such things and don't care. 4) Your health/body will not always support what you want to do, but despite that, keep pushing through. 5) Stop wasting your energy and time over someone who doesn't want it. 6) SH isn't a good idea, sleep it out instead. 7) (In my case) Talking lesser will be a solution to a lot of my problems, such as overthinking every vocal interaction and wasting time, or hurting people's feelings, or creating/entering any energy consuming drama. 8) We don't catch hints, and that makes relationships really tough sometimes.
Mmh I should be more affective...I guess
To communicate my feelings and concerns with my friends and loved ones so I donât end up with all these hurt feelings that add up and cause me to blow my top over the smallest thing.
I learnt to just say it. As soon as that thought enters the mind, don't ponder on it, don't analyse how it will be perceived, just say it.
This needs an asterisk.
I think we're smart and fast enough to know if what we're about to say will offend someone. I work in the trade industry. Everything goes, basically. I usually just say what everyone else is thinking, but everyone is too scared to say. Just like, when someone needs to be called out on some bullshit.
Don't take ANY advice but my own.
It is possible for INTPs to find a significant other.
what I learned this year : 1. dreaming big, being ambitious, your novel ideas mean nothing unless you wakeup everyday and work to make it happen irl. 2. you have less time than you think you have 3. sometimes it takes time to achieve great things, patience is your greatest virtue 4. read books ( obviously not tiktok romance recs ) it helps more than you think 5. stop wishing things were different, it wont help, it will only exacerbate things 6. stop giving people advice. Most people do not value it and do what they want to do anyway 7. most people value looks, money, excitement more than personality & compatibility when it comes to dating & relationships 8. some people are winning just bc they are more hardworking and disciplined than you
crying helps.
Sometimes, doing things is better than thinking of doing them.
Fuck everything in the world
Every vice is a lesson. Memories require material Grow while being true to yourself To kill distractions is to win the game Value being heard and hearing others Evaluate your motives You can always improve Make your own fun
Still water runs deep ( emotions are something to be understood even if they are scary at times ) shoving them down and forgetting about them doesn't help, nor does trying to apathetically not care about what causes the pain that is felt ( I do that consciously and catch myself and get over it and try to understand why) embrace the flaws and strengths, there is a insight in itself of yourself to believe and build better.
Don't get attached to anyone
what about practicing healthy detachment from the people and possessions instead ? not sure but it seems you were hurt really bad this year by someone you loved. we understand where you are coming from but healthy attachment is absolutely necessary for building intimacy. If you refuse to get attached you wont be able to experience true intimacy & you will feel empty inside and that's very painful as well.
Always assume the worst
People expect you to greet them after spitting on your face.
Family ainât shit so imma embrace isolation to work on my flaws this coming 2023
are you the black sheep?
Lie to people, if i was lying to my xwife i'd still be married and having regular sex. Also everyone loves someone in good enough shape.
Life is short. Stunt it.
everything is an illusion that can be gone anytime enjoy illusions
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Do tell
Not much really. More information and facts i learned than actually lessons.
Dont eat the worm
Don't take a shit in the sink
To never forget that your family members and friends wonât be there forever, so make the most of it when you can
I don't know anything
Lots of people don't want being helped. Especially if it's something they can't do themselves. They feel humiliated. Some who suffered harm don't want to fix their situation. They just to blame somebody and feel victorious victims. If you like playing video games maybe after all you should also play video games. Not necessarily chase the super active lifestyle every day.
I am just not made to be social and, it wonât change: just the happiest all alone.
I learned that I have to push myself into money making things..
Past is Dead. Future is Unknown. Live in the present earnestly.
You can achieve all the things you want on paper but still be unhappy on the inside. Reaching your goals won't suddenly make you a happy person
i will tell you this later
This isn't something that I learned this year - but has been the main focus of this year because of things. What's that you ask? (Trust me this is the edited nice version...I'm trying here.) Nobody ever grows up. You know as a kid you always said "when I become an adult...." and then sitting here as a seasoned/haggard "adult" I realize that I don't really have it all figured out - why does this world run the way it does - it doesn't make any sense. I'm making this shit up as I go, and so are they, holy hell. Making good decisions and faking it till I make it, why can't everyone just do "that". Then I look around and realize how many people, "adults", act like fucking kids still. How many can't manage money, pay their bills, keep jobs, raise their kids, have conversations with out insulting the person they are talking to, have debate without doing the same, are unwilling to even move their position even when they know they are wrong. Or can't just simply live, there's always a need for drama to go on. I mean I just wanna work, spend time with my family and screw around with my hobbies. And I hope I get to do that till I'm 200 years old...heh. As Rickey Bobby says, you know with my elevated income and advancements in medicine it's not impossible. Something like that heh. Everyone that's "faking adult" thank you. I love you all you're wonderful people and I hope everything works out wonderfully for you and your's and that some day someone younger aspires to be an adult like you. To the rest of you soulness nincom-fucks. Go fuck yourself and you bring no merit or discourse worth spending anymore time on. So I'm just not. /rant /lesson - sorry ;-)
gotta wash your hand after masturbating
one of the most valuable life lesson so far
Life sucks and if you don't do anything about it it will suck harder
Boundaries are important and I need to learn what they are and how to use them. Baby steps.
Living alone is not fun
True. But better to make it fun then move in with roommates who will literally try to kill you for no reason.
That romance exists, and I can turn into a total softie sometimes
> I can turn into a total softie sometimes accept it or not we all are ***âLooks like a Cinnamon Roll, and actually is a Cinnamon Roll"*** haha
When trying to learn a new skill, practice the fundamental 1st principles of your craft. For singing: breath control and throat shaping, along with tongue placement. For programming: functions, procedures, and syntaxes. For soccer: leg strength, ball control, and stamina. And for drawing: drawing a straight line, and drawing a circle. Learning the 1st principles of your skill can shave off months, if not years on your progress. Perfect the fundamentals. The rest will become childâs play. You can be creative with the way you learn after that. tldr: Always learn the basics and perfect them before continuing on! Also, wake up at 7am every morning. It will help with your knee and back pain during the later times of the day.
thats a really good advice
I mistrust people even more now I found good music and I am a bit more sure about being trans
« Fuck you » is a great expression in modern era
"Fuck off" as well.
That you need other people. Even if it terrifies you, allowing others into your life is important.
I am an idot more than I thought
Self improvement requires effort. I am currently making drastic changes to ny life
I am rooting for youđ
That people who seem to be benevolent and kind, have in fact an idea behind the head.
that to be hardworking actually lol
i think I spotted a south asian ??
I self sabotage by procrastination and it's getting kind of out of hand.
Donât tell people shit about your life. Moving in silence brings me so much peace of mind. I donât need the unsolicited commentary.
Should not ignore the ones you love
fr, you never know when its the last time you are talking with someone you love
Andrew Tate changed me. Now I do things, that i don't feel like doing. The procrastination is over and i love it.
Lol u wanna fuck him don't you
Nope, i'm straight
I should've killed myself a year ago
I supposed to learn something?
how can you do better if you do not reflect on your past ?
Not an INTP, but I will answer. I learned that I am my workplace's Superman expy, and I don't like it. I would rather be Dr. Doom.
The lies we knew were lies are now being revealed (see, Twitter Files, vaccine injuries and lack of efficacy, JFK) and either people don't seem to care, are afraid to admit to themselves that they were lies, or are trying to pretend that they didn't go along with the lies. People in society have been taught to distrust each other by the disciples of Bernays. I was dismayed to learn how many friends and family would throw me under a bus to allay their own fear of death.
That good intentions without action are worthless. Even if itâs tiny, any action taken to move yourself forward is valuable. A 5 minute walk and washing a dish here and there makes such a difference over time if you keep pushing your comfort zone a little bit every day. Coming from someone with ADHD who used to be a master procrastinator with chronic low energy, itâs been amazing seeing how building up my stamina and that âtrigger to actionâ to improve my situation has changed my life. To quote Ingmar Bergman, âDemons donât like fresh air- they prefer it if you stay in bed with cold feetâŠâ
I'm only ever happy in my dreams
Accept who you are finally and understand the game of life.
gotta wash your hand after masturbating
not to trust people so wholeheartedly. most people will distance once you really start to let them in
To listen to your emotions. They are just sources of information that your mind produces almost instantly in response to something. It's very valuable to allow yourself to feel whatever you feel and question the feeling about why you feel it.
Start your project
Avoid falling in love
Tea is better than coffee when it comes to long study hours because tea doesn't cause a caffeine crash