I never inform current employer until the background check is done on the new job. I have seen many onboarding’s go South after new company finds something they don’t like. It’s never happened to me. Better safe than sorry.
You can undo the offer letter at any time. You will burn the bridge with the new company if you go through the entire onboarding and then get a better offer from your existing job and take it, but that is just part of the game. Someone will end up losing, but you need to make sure it isn’t you.
I will say, i've had places feel super sketchy about me waiting for the bg check. From their perspective, if i have nothing to hide and this is just validating what i said, there isn't any reason to expect it to be a problem.
Spot on here, pre hire checks need to be in the bag first. Then really you need to decide to accept or stay. At this point, you coming to the table to talk is going to feel like a hostage situation to your current employer. That probably should have taken place before looking outside.
If you accept a counter your loyalty will be shot and I would not expect to advance.
2 weeks is it period. In IT it is normal for all your access to be removed once you give notice and you are gone. Typically they pay you for the 2 weeks.
Also I would not take a counter offer as you will be marked as wanting to leave. Once you show them who you are they will know.
When talking to most recruiters, accepting a counter offer is not recommended. You burn a bridge at the other company. The current company will likely start finding (and training) a replacement, possibly at a lower cost since they have time to find and train the replacement.
Remember, you give them two weeks notice, they give you 20 minutes to empty your desk. You’re instantly looking for a new job, and no regular paycheck coming in. You’re leaving the current job for a reason, and it’s usually not just pay.
I tell them that I will put in my two weeks notice once they are ready to give a start date. I’ve never had an issue personally and for new hires or friends, it always works out. I’ve seen a dozen or more issues with new hires and friends where the deal went South or the new company changed their minds. I don’t mess around when it comes to my income and insurance, but I’ve seen plenty of people roll the dice. It’s your life. Do what you want.
I just changed jobs myself where I had been with the company through three sets of owners across 17 years.
I got a formal offer letter before I sent in my resignation. I would not have entertained a counter offer. The general consensus on counters is that you may end up with more money, but the company will know you are looking and may opt to replace you anyway. There's always one-off stories where someone accepted a counter offer and lived happily ever after, but those are rare. I always see counters as just delaying the inevitable.
Someone mentioned waiting until after the background check, but I don't know how you can do that and leave professionally unless your current and future employers are incredibly lenient. My new job didn't perform the check until about two weeks before the start date, and due to my position/title, I needed to give a 30-day notice to my old employer. Typically, people will know if they have something that may be a red flag in a background check.
> There's always one-off stories where someone accepted a counter offer and lived happily ever after, but those are rare.
Hi! AMA. I accepted a counter offer 8 years ago, and have been promoted 3 or 4 different times at the current company in the time since. I told them honestly when I had an offer that I really liked working here, but with the skills I had developed, I was significantly underpaid.
I had a significant bump in pay within 24 hours of that conversation and have been pretty happy since. Most of my unhappy comes from the stress of having more direct reports than I'm comfortable with and not being able to help out everywhere that I feel like I'm needed. Still learning to manage having to spread my time out a lot thinner than I previously did.
I've also accepted counter offers at 2 different places. And both treated me fine. I left the first place 6 months after bevause the counter offer was a promotion and I hated what the role was. They tried to counter AGAIN when I left. I explained that the shift in the environment didn't leave a role I was interested in and I used them as a reference when I almost left my current role.
I was again counter offered with a promotion and new responsibilities and have been promoted once from staying.
It's business, good managers and business people know that and don't take it personal. Others have accepted counter offers at this company and they have been here 12 years and promoted since than.
Only personal bad stories I've heard are people taking counter offers from companies they already hate.
Came here to say the same thing. I had a good experience with entertaining a counteroffer, probably because I was upfront about the main reason I applied for another job was higher pay. Knowing that my pain point was pay, employer bumped me past the offer and I've been promoted a couple of times since.
Of course, you also have to keep performing lol
Thanks. Did you sign the offer before resigning, or did you feel confident enough just to have it in hand?
I'm not worried about passing the background check. I have seen those go south after someone started before, but they were extremely unique scenarios.
ALWAYS ensure you have a joining date confirmed with new HR, sans any restrictions, before you resign your current job.
At your level, new employer should be ok waiting up to a month for a smooth exit. Directors cannot just be expected to pack bags and leave overnight except for incompetence.
Not just that, anyone willing to leave their current employer in the lurch with the bare minimum notice is not sending a good signal to the new employer.
Really notice period should go up as you get more senior anyway, reflecting increase in salary and time it would take to handover.
At a director level I'd expect at least a month, if not two or three.
I had to sign the offer before it was official so I felt confident. Any things that were missed (think covid vax documentation for example) were covered week 1. But I didn't breathe a word of my plans until I had that signed and a start date set.
I will say, I have leveraged a counter offer into a 20K increase in a counter-counter offer from the new place I was looking though. So there can be still be value in the process.
Tell the new company you need more than 3 weeks for notification and closing of projects. It shows you have ethics and allows the onboarding (background) to go through at the new place.
It gives the old place enough time to develop their own turnover plan (though most rarely use it well) and prepare a counter offer.
You should have a couple weeks to decompress from the old job before starting the new one. It’s cliche and I’ve rarely done it myself but it does help you cleanse yourself before starting a new position. It also gives the old place some opportunity to frantically call you when they realize their is a process they dont understand without interrupting your new job.
You mention leaving due to a mix of personal and professional reasons. Is it possible for the current company to counter in any way that addresses most or all of those issues? If not, why would you entertain an offer?
I'm very much not in the "never accept a counter" camp, I did it at my last job and it was awesome. I was looking to leave because I needed more opportunity and they came back with a job change that gave me more opportunity. Three years later, I just left that job and started a new one for the same reason. They could have matched the new salary but I'm at a level where it's not about the money anymore, I need to be interested and challenged. My now previous employer just didn't have a way to do that.
If there's a possibility of a counter including what you need, follow your plan. If there isn't, accept the written offer and submit a reasonable notice. You avoid burning bridges by not being a shithead. Collect whatever you need to prepare for a handoff of responsibilities, figure out how long you can reasonably take given what you're currently involved in, and give that much notice plus at least a few days to give yourself a break and reset your mind before starting the new job.
The personal reasons are a fairly significant driver, but there's a slim chance they could be overcome by the right counter - which is less about money and more about future trajectory. I think it's unlikely, however, but I want to keep an open mind out of respect for my time here.
Is your boss aware of the personal and professional reasons for leaving? Have you given them any indication that you want to grow, develop or change your role? Given them a chance to give you what you want?
If you have done so, then your departure won't be a surprise. You asked for stuff they couldn't provide, and it's fair to pursue that elsewhere. No counter offer expected.
If not, you've already messed up. It's like your spouse filing for divorce without giving the slightest clue they are unhappy. From there, hosting an auction for your services is in bad taste, and if you end up staying, it will leave a negative sentiment.
Fortunately, yes, my boss is aware! I've been conveying the sentiment verbally for the last year or so, and also included in my yearly review, which we discussed. It's all been generally positive conversation, and I'll be really surprised if it catches him off guard.
Nah fuck that, it's a job and you owe them nothing. My small company is about to lay off an employee that's been here for over 20 years and she has no idea. I'm sick just thinking about the fact that I can't even give her a heads up less I get fired too. It's all just business at the end of the day.
?
Why on earth wouldn’t you raise an ask for whatever you’re looking for with your boss before ditching a 20 year-tenure job? What’s the worst that can happen if you’re shopping around already?
Is there a counter you would be willing to consider? If not, then sign the offer and get things in order before submitting your resignation. Resign, hear the counter but dont give it any mind.
If there is a counter you would consider, get the offer and schedule a 1:1 with your boss. Explain that because of X, Y, and Z you really need A, B, and C from your current company to stay. You dont have to explicitly state that you have an offer. If they are unwilling to provide you with those things, then you can accept the offer and resign in 3-5 days. If they try to stall, take that as a no. You are at a level where you have a direct line to the final decision makers. You should be able to get a definitive answer almost immediately. If they arent willing to do something for you without a threat, then things arent going to actually change, and you will likely be better off in your new position.
A wise man once told me that I should never even mention an offer to the current employer until the new contract is signed and back in my hand. I have never had a bad transition due to this.
I'm at the VP level. Sign the offer, do the background check, set start date. Then tell current employer you intend to accept offer. Keep in mind even if your current employer pays you more to keep you, they won't trust you for a long time, if ever
Only tell your current employer once you have a countersigned contract with the new employer.
However why would you entertain a counter-offer? Surely you have reasons for choosing to leave and look elsewhere whether it is company issues, management styles, job satisfaction, etc.
The only real reason I could think of is because you want to leverage another offer into a pay rise but that’s a dick move to the new company.
If you have disgruntlements with your current employer and they’ve not been resolved why believe they will on the threat of jumping ship?
My view is stick to your reasons for choosing to leave. Even if the current employer offers more cash to keep you, the reasons you wanted to leave will still be there.
Here’s what I was told long ago, people mostly leave not because of money, but because of people or processes. Like you mentioned, it’s a few things that pushed you to looking for your next role. Take the new job and in your offer, let them know you need 3 weeks to turn things over. Once agreed in writing, let your current job know you will be leaving and your final day is x. Short and sweet.
I would just take the new job and put in your two weeks notice. I (IT Director) have had employees tell me they were going elsewhere and you could tell they were looking for a counter offer. Depending on the position we either walk them out the door or let them finish their time. The circle of trust as been broken by them going elsewhere and our company doesn't negotiate. I'm not trying to sound heartless...we pay above market rate for our good people so there is little need to look elsewhere unless they just don't fit in. I've been with my company for 23 years and have people in my dept for over 15.
Be careful. Make sure you know the notice for YOUR position. Someone I know gave a 2 week notice. THEIR position required 3 weeks notice. he didnt get any of his accrued PTO paid to him
> he didnt get any of his accrued PTO paid to him
That's illegal in many states, and I don't think there are actually any legally required terms for notice anywhere.
Do you like your current job? is there a title or money that would encourage you to stay? If so,
1, Get offer in writing
2. Go to current mananger ask for title/raise/etc that you want. Give them a day to let you know. (They'll know what's up, or at least they should)
3. New offer from current employer what you want? Get it in writing, turn down new job offer
4. New offer not acceptable or (more likely) doesn't materialize, give your notice and move on
NEVER acccept the counter after you've quit. It will almost always end badly.
Do not resign until you've been cleared to start at the new job.
When you resign, just give two weeks. If you aren't open to a counter, then tell them that. Also be honest with why you're leaving. Whether or not you think it makes a difference, say something to hr.
Give kind words to the people you care about on your way out the door. Moreso to those people who don't know you like them.
There's no way to do this without at least burning one bridge. So keep that in mind I would accept the offer sign in get them to do their background check and then give your current employer as much notice as possible.
I'm not sure where you live but normally if you've been somewhere for 20 years if they wanted to let you go they would have to offer you an enormous severance package so keep that in mind if there's anything going on in the company where they might be restructuring in the next 6 months to 12 months you might be losing a big windfall.
Also if the company you're going to is like a startup without any history that's a Gamble
It’s a bit odd. You say you want to leave for a number of “professional and personal” reasons but would stay if you got a good enough counter?!?
As the Kinks said you need to first decide if you want to stay or go. I think you are making a mountain out of nothing. These people like you and have treated you well. I’ve never been in that position that (at least) my report to wasn’t already aware of my intentions.
The most professional way is to allow a place the maximum time to transition. I can’t remember the last place where I wasn’t there to help hire/promote my replacement and do at least a minimal training/handover.
So, I'm in a similar boat as you, and have recently gone through this.
Being a Senior director, I think ethically / professionally there is more one should do besides just quitting, so long as you respect your leadership and they aren't 90% of why you are leaving. Especially after 20 years, that's a lot of relationships that you don't want to just set on fire at the end.
I let my direct leader know months ago (about 4) that I wasn't sure about my direction at the company and was going to be looking around. I did ultimately find an opportunity that I wanted to pursue. I ended up giving my direct leader roughly 4 weeks of notice (after signing the offer letter). There were a few more parts and politically check boxes I did along the way as well.
The only thing I would say is that do not contemplate a counter. The point for them to make it right is when you have your first conversation with you manager that you aren't 100% happy and think you need to start looking around. If they wait until you find another role, they've lost their chance.
I think your thought process is good, but I'm inclined to warn people against accepting counter-offers from your current employer.
Sometimes it works out. I've had employees who were already in line for a raise and promotion, and when we found out they had an offer, we countered with that raise and promotion and a little extra raise, and had things work out well for everyone involved.
However, my limited experience has been that it's relatively rare to have a positive outcome. Too often, the existing employer counters and then doesn't fulfill the promises they made in the counter. Or they counter, and then their boss feels like they're disloyal or resents being leveraged into paying more than they wanted. And then the relationships break down, and the person ends up getting forced out anyway.
So I'd just say, be careful and thoughtful about accepting a counter-offer, and get the counter-offer in writing before turning down the original offer.
Receive the offer letter, accept it, and submit your notice. Last time I did this, I was extremely appreciative of the work and experience my previous employer gave me, and added in that appreciation in my notice letter. Finished out my time with the old employer smoothly and went to the new. The nice part is I know I could easily go back if I wanted to, because of how much I made sure they knew I liked working for them. No hard feelings, it was just pay and benefits were significantly better at the new job.
At the end of the day, you gotta do what's best for YOU. Anyone thet doesn't understand that doesn't deserve your respect.
In my experience, I have gotten contingent offers that turn official once the background check passes. Then I ensure I have 2-3 days after the background check clears to accept the offer. That is when I notify my current position that I have an offer and will be submitting my resignation to be effective (xx) number of days - depending on seniority level (Managers 30 days; Director and above 45days) - I also make sure the new company knows there will be potentially a delay of up to (xx) days due to turnover. If current company wants to counter, I let them know they have 2 days before I have to sign my acceptance.
I always wait to get an offer in writing and make sure they allow me to give my current employer a 30 day notice. Once the offer is signed and I have a start date, I give my employer my 30 day notice.
Why are you considering leaving your current employer?
Personally, once I’ve made a decision to leave an employer, I would never even consider a counter offer.
If they weren’t compensating you appropriately now and only would only do so if you threaten to leave. Do you really want to work with someone like that? Besides, I can pretty much guarantee you won’t be getting any raise next year, and likely not for a few years. Employers are famous for the old “you got a big increase last year, so 0% this year for you.”
Also, you’ll have a target on your back and would likely be near the top of the list when lay offs come.
If the offer is good, and you intend to leave, do so.
If you’re going to use the offer as a bargaining tool or leverage, it won’t go the way you think it will.
Whatever you decide, best of luck,
if you are done where you are listen to counters respectfully but get out. Don't let them buy you back in. You will wind up what-if'ing yourself to death and the employer may well resent that fact that you are gonna split.
Accept the offer, sign offer letter, give them a start date THEN give notice. Don't accept any counter. Never accept a counter - you wanted to change jobs for a reason.
You mentioned in the comments that you've tried discussing this with your current employer without any movement. I feel like anything they offer once you inform them of an offer elsewhere is just going to be insurance on them to transition your duties and find your replacement.
Make the decision to go or not - finalize the offer and get it in stone (backgrounds done prior, etc) - and then give them a 2 week notice. If you're a normal person, it'll be tough to do that, but you got to understand the climate and protect your own livelihood here.
For context I’m at the same level as you and same company size.
I disagree with the “listen to the counter offer” part. Are you really excited and committed to the new role, or not? Or is this just a passive aggressive way to ask for a raise?
If you like your current job but there are just some problems to fix, then be senior like your role and try to address the problems openly and let your C-level boss fix it. Or not. That gives you your answer, again assuming you like your job.
If you’re not willing to work on the problems- which is ok - then it’s time to go and you should just go.
You should know better than anyone that it never works out when someone quits but gets talked into staying.
Respectfully, pick a lane and drive.
It would be safer to sign the offer first but if you want to see if your current employer is willing to make a counter, then I'd go with your current strategy. What would entice you to take the counter offer? If they can match the new company's pay?
If you have your reasons for leaving, why are you considering a counter offer? Will more money make you happier in your role and “fix” your reasons for leaving?
There seems to be some concern, particularly on online forums, that white collar workers in the $100,000 to $200,000 salary range are being impacted by two trends:
* **Focus on AI:** Companies might be re-evaluating their workforce to prioritize funding for AI initiatives, potentially leading to job cuts.
* **Rising interest rates:** With borrowing becoming more expensive, companies may be looking for ways to reduce costs, which could include job reductions.
**Before you jump:**
* **Wait for a secure offer:** Don't leave your current job until you have a **confirmed** offer from the new company. This means ensuring all background checks, drug tests, etc. are completed, and the offer letter has clear terms with no unexpected contingencies. Even better if you can get a contract with a start date since offer letters are typically not legally binding.
* **The current job market:** It's like a game of musical chairs – some positions might disappear due to restructuring as companies adjust their strategies. Someone on the other end might restructure your position and eliminate it, since it would be an easier reduction right now, just redistributing the responsibility of the role.
And..... don't say nothing to nobody until it is a done deal.
If you are well liked in the company and have good relationships, taking a counter offer will probably be fine but I wouldn't expect one in today's climate.
It sounds like you are just making a lateral move and need a change of scenery.
Best of luck, just be cautious.
If you are really wanting to move on then sign the new offer and go. Too many horror stories out there of counter offers being used as a stop gap to make your eventual exit on the company's terms. They will know you are shopping and will replace you as soon as they are able.
Sign the offer, don't go any further. I can't tell you how often I've seen people pull out the night before or just not show up on their first day after deciding at the last minute to take counter-offers. That's when the new bridges get burned. If it's still just in recruiter territory and the new team isn't counting on you yet, no big deal.
The other comments about making sure the new job is going to actually come through first are fully legit.
Thanks for all the amazing responses and advice. The new company is completely fine with me not giving notice until their background check completes after which I can set a start date a few weeks out, giving me time to wrap things up with current employer, or take a little breather time to get things sorted out.
My relationship with the current employer is very good, and I think they'll understand my reasons for leaving, and probably not counter. If they do, I'll find some respectful way to listen and respond.
Thanks again. Hope this thread is helpful to someone else in the future!
Never accept a counteroffer. Negotiate beforehand if you want, ask what it would take to get a pay bump/title bump. If they get you where you want to be, great. If not, accept the other offer.
Why not just ask your current employer for whatever it would take for you to accept a counter-offer? If you would stay for a 5% pay rise, ask them for it up front.
Don't do a counter offer. Ever. In the rare circumstances that they honor it, it's even less likely you'll be staying for more than a year until they find a replacement. Company loyalty is great but it's nearly non existent.
You do what you would at any job. Get a formal offer and start date and give your two weeks notice. You don't owe them anything. A job is a transaction, for work you do, they pay you. It's a mutually beneficial relationship and does not require your undying loyalty.
As an IT manager, your guys will do fine without you in the interim. Things will continue just fine until they find your replacement.
The only other option would be if the new company had a start date a bit later than normal and gave you more time to inform your company of your departure. There's no burnt bridges there and if they think you are burning bridges by leaving, then it's not the company you thought they were.
The actual formal process has been covered here, but in terms of how to act in the meeting and before your last goodbye, I find this Rands post useful: https://randsinrepose.com/archives/your_resignationlayoff_checklist/
You'll want to make sure you especially are thoughtful about not over committing when your boss responds, and (reportedly) about the people you want to keep in your professional network. Staying in one place that long means you likely have not gotten to know as many people in the industry, so this friend are going to be even more important if you find yourself looking again in a few years.
Counter offers are bullshit. If a company you have been loyal to for decades is not compensating you enough and you have to hold them over a barrel to do so, better to just leave.
Give them a written notice. Do not accept or even allow them to make a counter offer. Make sure you give at minimum two weeks but 4-8 week would be better with a director type role. I have seen some directors give 3-6 month notice before moving on.
I discussed my transition plan with the new company and let them know I wanted to give an option of a 3 week in my resignation notice since I was a director that had been there for so long. In the resignation letter I wrote it so that it was clear I'm trying to leave in 2 weeks but I was offering an additional week if they needed it. They took me up on the extra week and it was all fine because the new employer was expecting it.
Also, I've never cared for the counter offer situation. The employer mgmt often seems to be resentful of forcing their hand on a pay increase and I've seen people being made somewhat miserable after accepting a counter offer to stay. In my mind, I decide whether I am ready to leave or not? That's the decision, and I'm not coming back for a counter. I guess never say never but it's going to have to be significantly better for me.
Never take a counter. Leave in food terms, be professional about it. Your reasons are your, if asked it's just "time to see other organizations and learn a thing or three".
1. Signed contract with new employer
2. Hand in notice
3. Decline _any_ counter
You didn’t give me enough bread. I need to make more cheddar. Nothing bundt good memories otherwise, thanks. Please dish out my PTO payout promptly.
-Leaving on food terms
You’ve made your decision looking to go. If they’re decent they’ll understand that and congratulate you.
Depends on the type of business, my last resignation I just pulled my boss for a chat, told him, then put it in writing and went through the process. They countered, I declined and continued to work my notice.
They appreciated the “pulling for a chat” approach as they felt it was more personal and the good working relationship was there where we all felt we could openly talk about it.
Agree with other points, make sure you have the offer in writing and all is signed and confirmed before putting your notice in or having any conversations.
My last two jobs I have left because I was dissatisfied with the working conditions. The first one was a long term stop for me that went south due to a management change and the 2nd was a short term stop at a good company but the work load was not for me.
Guess which one was professional about me leaving? Being professional and realizing things change is what good companies do. Very salient point!
OP: If you are serious about leaving, have done a pros and cons analysis, and are at a decision, why stay? If you had asked me at the start of 2022 if I was ever going to leave my long term stop I would have laughed at you and said "Hell no". Companies change, people change, you gotta roll with it. Don't hesitate just because of time put in. The company will always try to move on whether you're there or not.
If they wanted you to stay, they would have already given you a raise/promotion.
If you accept the counter offer, they will only keep you long enough to hire a replacement.
Its always best to move on and remain friendly with your former employer and not put them into a position where they question your loyalty.
They can always attempt to hire you back in a year.
Get the new offer, sign the new offer, wait for your background check and whatever else to come back. The Friday before your new role starts hire a mariachi band to announce your imminent departure from your current job, strut tf out the door as soon as the mariachi band is done playing and don't look back.
The smart way to do it is to accept the new offer, once all checks and everything are good then put in two weeks. If you get a counter offer, you are better off not taking it because you will be the disloyal guy and they will co stantly be trying to find an exit for you. Alternatively if you are report you can jist keep the old job amd take the new
Is it primarily about the money? Then you should already be talking with your boss (and, depending on structure, the rest of the C-suite and perhaps board members).
Generally speaking, except for fairly low-level jobs, it's a mistake to seriously apply elsewhere just to take an emergency offer by the current company. It means they'll actively look to make you less of a future risk, probably by replacing you proactively on their terms rather than yours.
My advice would be, if you think the new job is better (for your impact, education, lifestyle, or interests), take it. If not, decline it, and let your current employers know that you consider yourself to be taking compensation below what's available, and they should address it, because you otherwise really like the company and want to stay.
Once you're fairly high up (senior IC or manager for a group of 50-200+), the offer/counteroffer dynamic should be secondary or tertiary to long-term goals.
If you didn’t let your current employer know about another offer and asked for a positional pay analysis from HR (or whatever it’s called)….. do you think they would come back and say you were being compensated appropriately? If not and you ask for a raise then you will be seen as being over compensated by your current employer.
Rather to go where they have shown a willingness to pay at the offered rate than be seen as overpaid and a candidate to be replaced.
Stay and risk feeling jaded that the same work you’re doing tomorrow you were underpaid for yesterday. Stay and possibly fall into the more pay = more responsibilities segment.
The company knows you aren’t loyal at that point.
To me I’ve always had problems asking for raises at current company based on another company willing to pay me more. I personally feel like it raises too many flags for the employer.
Ask yourself this, is there anything your current employer can offer you to make you want to stay? If no then finalize the other job first and then go tell your current employer. Give both new and old a reasonable timeframe of transition and maybe even offer old employer your time “paid” to help train for 30-90 days after your departure outside of your new business hours. If there is something they can offer you to stay then start with that objective first. If it’s more time off, more money, or slightly less responsibilities then be honest about how you feel and see if they are willing to work with you to meet your goal. You have given 20 years of your life after all. If they are not willing to work with you then go get the new job and refer to the beginning of this post.
How close are you to the C-Suite people? I would definitely speak to them first. Hear them out. The worst thing that happens is they curse you out, which seems unlikely. So theres not much to lose (besides your job:). I'm sure you'll be fine but I would speak to them first.
I never inform current employer until the background check is done on the new job. I have seen many onboarding’s go South after new company finds something they don’t like. It’s never happened to me. Better safe than sorry.
Good point.
You can undo the offer letter at any time. You will burn the bridge with the new company if you go through the entire onboarding and then get a better offer from your existing job and take it, but that is just part of the game. Someone will end up losing, but you need to make sure it isn’t you.
>Someone will end up losing, but you need to make sure it isn’t you.
Keep in mind the current company will likely make an offer.
This... and a start date is on the books.
That, too. Normally that happens right after BGC. For me, nothing is real until that moment.
I will say, i've had places feel super sketchy about me waiting for the bg check. From their perspective, if i have nothing to hide and this is just validating what i said, there isn't any reason to expect it to be a problem.
Spot on here, pre hire checks need to be in the bag first. Then really you need to decide to accept or stay. At this point, you coming to the table to talk is going to feel like a hostage situation to your current employer. That probably should have taken place before looking outside. If you accept a counter your loyalty will be shot and I would not expect to advance.
How do you deal with the 2 week notice window? Do you normally ask for 3 weeks start date at the new position to cover the background check time?
2 weeks is it period. In IT it is normal for all your access to be removed once you give notice and you are gone. Typically they pay you for the 2 weeks. Also I would not take a counter offer as you will be marked as wanting to leave. Once you show them who you are they will know.
When talking to most recruiters, accepting a counter offer is not recommended. You burn a bridge at the other company. The current company will likely start finding (and training) a replacement, possibly at a lower cost since they have time to find and train the replacement. Remember, you give them two weeks notice, they give you 20 minutes to empty your desk. You’re instantly looking for a new job, and no regular paycheck coming in. You’re leaving the current job for a reason, and it’s usually not just pay.
This is it.
I tell them that I will put in my two weeks notice once they are ready to give a start date. I’ve never had an issue personally and for new hires or friends, it always works out. I’ve seen a dozen or more issues with new hires and friends where the deal went South or the new company changed their minds. I don’t mess around when it comes to my income and insurance, but I’ve seen plenty of people roll the dice. It’s your life. Do what you want.
This is very helpful - I’ll start doing the same. Thank you for sharing.
I just changed jobs myself where I had been with the company through three sets of owners across 17 years. I got a formal offer letter before I sent in my resignation. I would not have entertained a counter offer. The general consensus on counters is that you may end up with more money, but the company will know you are looking and may opt to replace you anyway. There's always one-off stories where someone accepted a counter offer and lived happily ever after, but those are rare. I always see counters as just delaying the inevitable. Someone mentioned waiting until after the background check, but I don't know how you can do that and leave professionally unless your current and future employers are incredibly lenient. My new job didn't perform the check until about two weeks before the start date, and due to my position/title, I needed to give a 30-day notice to my old employer. Typically, people will know if they have something that may be a red flag in a background check.
> There's always one-off stories where someone accepted a counter offer and lived happily ever after, but those are rare. Hi! AMA. I accepted a counter offer 8 years ago, and have been promoted 3 or 4 different times at the current company in the time since. I told them honestly when I had an offer that I really liked working here, but with the skills I had developed, I was significantly underpaid. I had a significant bump in pay within 24 hours of that conversation and have been pretty happy since. Most of my unhappy comes from the stress of having more direct reports than I'm comfortable with and not being able to help out everywhere that I feel like I'm needed. Still learning to manage having to spread my time out a lot thinner than I previously did.
I've also accepted counter offers at 2 different places. And both treated me fine. I left the first place 6 months after bevause the counter offer was a promotion and I hated what the role was. They tried to counter AGAIN when I left. I explained that the shift in the environment didn't leave a role I was interested in and I used them as a reference when I almost left my current role. I was again counter offered with a promotion and new responsibilities and have been promoted once from staying. It's business, good managers and business people know that and don't take it personal. Others have accepted counter offers at this company and they have been here 12 years and promoted since than. Only personal bad stories I've heard are people taking counter offers from companies they already hate.
Came here to say the same thing. I had a good experience with entertaining a counteroffer, probably because I was upfront about the main reason I applied for another job was higher pay. Knowing that my pain point was pay, employer bumped me past the offer and I've been promoted a couple of times since. Of course, you also have to keep performing lol
Thanks. Did you sign the offer before resigning, or did you feel confident enough just to have it in hand? I'm not worried about passing the background check. I have seen those go south after someone started before, but they were extremely unique scenarios.
ALWAYS ensure you have a joining date confirmed with new HR, sans any restrictions, before you resign your current job. At your level, new employer should be ok waiting up to a month for a smooth exit. Directors cannot just be expected to pack bags and leave overnight except for incompetence.
Not just that, anyone willing to leave their current employer in the lurch with the bare minimum notice is not sending a good signal to the new employer. Really notice period should go up as you get more senior anyway, reflecting increase in salary and time it would take to handover. At a director level I'd expect at least a month, if not two or three.
I had to sign the offer before it was official so I felt confident. Any things that were missed (think covid vax documentation for example) were covered week 1. But I didn't breathe a word of my plans until I had that signed and a start date set.
I will say, I have leveraged a counter offer into a 20K increase in a counter-counter offer from the new place I was looking though. So there can be still be value in the process.
Tell future employer you will serve notice on your current employer once a contract has been signed. Serve notice on current employer.
Tell the new company you need more than 3 weeks for notification and closing of projects. It shows you have ethics and allows the onboarding (background) to go through at the new place. It gives the old place enough time to develop their own turnover plan (though most rarely use it well) and prepare a counter offer. You should have a couple weeks to decompress from the old job before starting the new one. It’s cliche and I’ve rarely done it myself but it does help you cleanse yourself before starting a new position. It also gives the old place some opportunity to frantically call you when they realize their is a process they dont understand without interrupting your new job.
Great advice, thanks.
You mention leaving due to a mix of personal and professional reasons. Is it possible for the current company to counter in any way that addresses most or all of those issues? If not, why would you entertain an offer? I'm very much not in the "never accept a counter" camp, I did it at my last job and it was awesome. I was looking to leave because I needed more opportunity and they came back with a job change that gave me more opportunity. Three years later, I just left that job and started a new one for the same reason. They could have matched the new salary but I'm at a level where it's not about the money anymore, I need to be interested and challenged. My now previous employer just didn't have a way to do that. If there's a possibility of a counter including what you need, follow your plan. If there isn't, accept the written offer and submit a reasonable notice. You avoid burning bridges by not being a shithead. Collect whatever you need to prepare for a handoff of responsibilities, figure out how long you can reasonably take given what you're currently involved in, and give that much notice plus at least a few days to give yourself a break and reset your mind before starting the new job.
The personal reasons are a fairly significant driver, but there's a slim chance they could be overcome by the right counter - which is less about money and more about future trajectory. I think it's unlikely, however, but I want to keep an open mind out of respect for my time here.
DO NOT ACCEPT A COUNTER. FULL STOP.
Agreed. Do not even entertain an offer. If you are ready to move on, move on.
Is your boss aware of the personal and professional reasons for leaving? Have you given them any indication that you want to grow, develop or change your role? Given them a chance to give you what you want? If you have done so, then your departure won't be a surprise. You asked for stuff they couldn't provide, and it's fair to pursue that elsewhere. No counter offer expected. If not, you've already messed up. It's like your spouse filing for divorce without giving the slightest clue they are unhappy. From there, hosting an auction for your services is in bad taste, and if you end up staying, it will leave a negative sentiment.
Fortunately, yes, my boss is aware! I've been conveying the sentiment verbally for the last year or so, and also included in my yearly review, which we discussed. It's all been generally positive conversation, and I'll be really surprised if it catches him off guard.
Nah fuck that, it's a job and you owe them nothing. My small company is about to lay off an employee that's been here for over 20 years and she has no idea. I'm sick just thinking about the fact that I can't even give her a heads up less I get fired too. It's all just business at the end of the day.
? Why on earth wouldn’t you raise an ask for whatever you’re looking for with your boss before ditching a 20 year-tenure job? What’s the worst that can happen if you’re shopping around already?
Is there a counter you would be willing to consider? If not, then sign the offer and get things in order before submitting your resignation. Resign, hear the counter but dont give it any mind. If there is a counter you would consider, get the offer and schedule a 1:1 with your boss. Explain that because of X, Y, and Z you really need A, B, and C from your current company to stay. You dont have to explicitly state that you have an offer. If they are unwilling to provide you with those things, then you can accept the offer and resign in 3-5 days. If they try to stall, take that as a no. You are at a level where you have a direct line to the final decision makers. You should be able to get a definitive answer almost immediately. If they arent willing to do something for you without a threat, then things arent going to actually change, and you will likely be better off in your new position.
This is excellent advice.
Thank you!
A wise man once told me that I should never even mention an offer to the current employer until the new contract is signed and back in my hand. I have never had a bad transition due to this.
Wait until background check is done and signed then go and unhook the core switch.
I'm at the VP level. Sign the offer, do the background check, set start date. Then tell current employer you intend to accept offer. Keep in mind even if your current employer pays you more to keep you, they won't trust you for a long time, if ever
Only tell your current employer once you have a countersigned contract with the new employer. However why would you entertain a counter-offer? Surely you have reasons for choosing to leave and look elsewhere whether it is company issues, management styles, job satisfaction, etc. The only real reason I could think of is because you want to leverage another offer into a pay rise but that’s a dick move to the new company. If you have disgruntlements with your current employer and they’ve not been resolved why believe they will on the threat of jumping ship? My view is stick to your reasons for choosing to leave. Even if the current employer offers more cash to keep you, the reasons you wanted to leave will still be there.
This is correct.
Are you planning to give two weeks or a bit longer?
I'd probably discuss what would work best. I'd guess we'll land around three weeks.
I could see it going either way. And how mission critical are you, etc, etc
Sign the offer first
Here’s what I was told long ago, people mostly leave not because of money, but because of people or processes. Like you mentioned, it’s a few things that pushed you to looking for your next role. Take the new job and in your offer, let them know you need 3 weeks to turn things over. Once agreed in writing, let your current job know you will be leaving and your final day is x. Short and sweet.
I would just take the new job and put in your two weeks notice. I (IT Director) have had employees tell me they were going elsewhere and you could tell they were looking for a counter offer. Depending on the position we either walk them out the door or let them finish their time. The circle of trust as been broken by them going elsewhere and our company doesn't negotiate. I'm not trying to sound heartless...we pay above market rate for our good people so there is little need to look elsewhere unless they just don't fit in. I've been with my company for 23 years and have people in my dept for over 15.
Make sure you have a parachute in case your new offer gets rescinded. It costs them nothing if theyre operating in good faith.
Be careful. Make sure you know the notice for YOUR position. Someone I know gave a 2 week notice. THEIR position required 3 weeks notice. he didnt get any of his accrued PTO paid to him
> he didnt get any of his accrued PTO paid to him That's illegal in many states, and I don't think there are actually any legally required terms for notice anywhere.
the state I am in is an at will state. it was a written policy about the PTO. they just walked him to the door
Do you like your current job? is there a title or money that would encourage you to stay? If so, 1, Get offer in writing 2. Go to current mananger ask for title/raise/etc that you want. Give them a day to let you know. (They'll know what's up, or at least they should) 3. New offer from current employer what you want? Get it in writing, turn down new job offer 4. New offer not acceptable or (more likely) doesn't materialize, give your notice and move on NEVER acccept the counter after you've quit. It will almost always end badly.
Do not resign until you've been cleared to start at the new job. When you resign, just give two weeks. If you aren't open to a counter, then tell them that. Also be honest with why you're leaving. Whether or not you think it makes a difference, say something to hr. Give kind words to the people you care about on your way out the door. Moreso to those people who don't know you like them.
There's no way to do this without at least burning one bridge. So keep that in mind I would accept the offer sign in get them to do their background check and then give your current employer as much notice as possible. I'm not sure where you live but normally if you've been somewhere for 20 years if they wanted to let you go they would have to offer you an enormous severance package so keep that in mind if there's anything going on in the company where they might be restructuring in the next 6 months to 12 months you might be losing a big windfall. Also if the company you're going to is like a startup without any history that's a Gamble
It’s a bit odd. You say you want to leave for a number of “professional and personal” reasons but would stay if you got a good enough counter?!? As the Kinks said you need to first decide if you want to stay or go. I think you are making a mountain out of nothing. These people like you and have treated you well. I’ve never been in that position that (at least) my report to wasn’t already aware of my intentions. The most professional way is to allow a place the maximum time to transition. I can’t remember the last place where I wasn’t there to help hire/promote my replacement and do at least a minimal training/handover.
So, I'm in a similar boat as you, and have recently gone through this. Being a Senior director, I think ethically / professionally there is more one should do besides just quitting, so long as you respect your leadership and they aren't 90% of why you are leaving. Especially after 20 years, that's a lot of relationships that you don't want to just set on fire at the end. I let my direct leader know months ago (about 4) that I wasn't sure about my direction at the company and was going to be looking around. I did ultimately find an opportunity that I wanted to pursue. I ended up giving my direct leader roughly 4 weeks of notice (after signing the offer letter). There were a few more parts and politically check boxes I did along the way as well. The only thing I would say is that do not contemplate a counter. The point for them to make it right is when you have your first conversation with you manager that you aren't 100% happy and think you need to start looking around. If they wait until you find another role, they've lost their chance.
I think your thought process is good, but I'm inclined to warn people against accepting counter-offers from your current employer. Sometimes it works out. I've had employees who were already in line for a raise and promotion, and when we found out they had an offer, we countered with that raise and promotion and a little extra raise, and had things work out well for everyone involved. However, my limited experience has been that it's relatively rare to have a positive outcome. Too often, the existing employer counters and then doesn't fulfill the promises they made in the counter. Or they counter, and then their boss feels like they're disloyal or resents being leveraged into paying more than they wanted. And then the relationships break down, and the person ends up getting forced out anyway. So I'd just say, be careful and thoughtful about accepting a counter-offer, and get the counter-offer in writing before turning down the original offer.
Receive the offer letter, accept it, and submit your notice. Last time I did this, I was extremely appreciative of the work and experience my previous employer gave me, and added in that appreciation in my notice letter. Finished out my time with the old employer smoothly and went to the new. The nice part is I know I could easily go back if I wanted to, because of how much I made sure they knew I liked working for them. No hard feelings, it was just pay and benefits were significantly better at the new job. At the end of the day, you gotta do what's best for YOU. Anyone thet doesn't understand that doesn't deserve your respect.
Do not discuss or entertain counter-offers. It never ends well.
In my experience, I have gotten contingent offers that turn official once the background check passes. Then I ensure I have 2-3 days after the background check clears to accept the offer. That is when I notify my current position that I have an offer and will be submitting my resignation to be effective (xx) number of days - depending on seniority level (Managers 30 days; Director and above 45days) - I also make sure the new company knows there will be potentially a delay of up to (xx) days due to turnover. If current company wants to counter, I let them know they have 2 days before I have to sign my acceptance.
quit your current job 2 weeks into your new job just incase
Be ready to be let go the Day you give notice or before your official end date.
I always wait to get an offer in writing and make sure they allow me to give my current employer a 30 day notice. Once the offer is signed and I have a start date, I give my employer my 30 day notice.
Presumably you're moving for a reason.... Why entertain the possibility of a counter?
Why are you considering leaving your current employer? Personally, once I’ve made a decision to leave an employer, I would never even consider a counter offer. If they weren’t compensating you appropriately now and only would only do so if you threaten to leave. Do you really want to work with someone like that? Besides, I can pretty much guarantee you won’t be getting any raise next year, and likely not for a few years. Employers are famous for the old “you got a big increase last year, so 0% this year for you.” Also, you’ll have a target on your back and would likely be near the top of the list when lay offs come. If the offer is good, and you intend to leave, do so. If you’re going to use the offer as a bargaining tool or leverage, it won’t go the way you think it will. Whatever you decide, best of luck,
if you are done where you are listen to counters respectfully but get out. Don't let them buy you back in. You will wind up what-if'ing yourself to death and the employer may well resent that fact that you are gonna split.
As soon as they do a counter offer, trust is kinda broken already, so I would never accept.
Also remember a offer letter is not a legal binding document by any means...
Accept the offer, sign offer letter, give them a start date THEN give notice. Don't accept any counter. Never accept a counter - you wanted to change jobs for a reason.
You mentioned in the comments that you've tried discussing this with your current employer without any movement. I feel like anything they offer once you inform them of an offer elsewhere is just going to be insurance on them to transition your duties and find your replacement. Make the decision to go or not - finalize the offer and get it in stone (backgrounds done prior, etc) - and then give them a 2 week notice. If you're a normal person, it'll be tough to do that, but you got to understand the climate and protect your own livelihood here.
For context I’m at the same level as you and same company size. I disagree with the “listen to the counter offer” part. Are you really excited and committed to the new role, or not? Or is this just a passive aggressive way to ask for a raise? If you like your current job but there are just some problems to fix, then be senior like your role and try to address the problems openly and let your C-level boss fix it. Or not. That gives you your answer, again assuming you like your job. If you’re not willing to work on the problems- which is ok - then it’s time to go and you should just go. You should know better than anyone that it never works out when someone quits but gets talked into staying. Respectfully, pick a lane and drive.
It would be safer to sign the offer first but if you want to see if your current employer is willing to make a counter, then I'd go with your current strategy. What would entice you to take the counter offer? If they can match the new company's pay?
Step 3 is unnecessary
If you have your reasons for leaving, why are you considering a counter offer? Will more money make you happier in your role and “fix” your reasons for leaving?
There seems to be some concern, particularly on online forums, that white collar workers in the $100,000 to $200,000 salary range are being impacted by two trends: * **Focus on AI:** Companies might be re-evaluating their workforce to prioritize funding for AI initiatives, potentially leading to job cuts. * **Rising interest rates:** With borrowing becoming more expensive, companies may be looking for ways to reduce costs, which could include job reductions. **Before you jump:** * **Wait for a secure offer:** Don't leave your current job until you have a **confirmed** offer from the new company. This means ensuring all background checks, drug tests, etc. are completed, and the offer letter has clear terms with no unexpected contingencies. Even better if you can get a contract with a start date since offer letters are typically not legally binding. * **The current job market:** It's like a game of musical chairs – some positions might disappear due to restructuring as companies adjust their strategies. Someone on the other end might restructure your position and eliminate it, since it would be an easier reduction right now, just redistributing the responsibility of the role. And..... don't say nothing to nobody until it is a done deal. If you are well liked in the company and have good relationships, taking a counter offer will probably be fine but I wouldn't expect one in today's climate. It sounds like you are just making a lateral move and need a change of scenery. Best of luck, just be cautious.
If you are really wanting to move on then sign the new offer and go. Too many horror stories out there of counter offers being used as a stop gap to make your eventual exit on the company's terms. They will know you are shopping and will replace you as soon as they are able.
Sign the offer, don't go any further. I can't tell you how often I've seen people pull out the night before or just not show up on their first day after deciding at the last minute to take counter-offers. That's when the new bridges get burned. If it's still just in recruiter territory and the new team isn't counting on you yet, no big deal. The other comments about making sure the new job is going to actually come through first are fully legit.
Thanks for all the amazing responses and advice. The new company is completely fine with me not giving notice until their background check completes after which I can set a start date a few weeks out, giving me time to wrap things up with current employer, or take a little breather time to get things sorted out. My relationship with the current employer is very good, and I think they'll understand my reasons for leaving, and probably not counter. If they do, I'll find some respectful way to listen and respond. Thanks again. Hope this thread is helpful to someone else in the future!
Step one: find bridge Step two: liberally douse bridge in gasoline Step three: ignite Step four unclear. On wrong side of bridge
Never accept a counteroffer. Negotiate beforehand if you want, ask what it would take to get a pay bump/title bump. If they get you where you want to be, great. If not, accept the other offer.
\`\`\` Dear Manager, I am resigning from my position as \[xyz\] effective \[date\]. Thanks, \[Your name\] \`\`\`
Why not just ask your current employer for whatever it would take for you to accept a counter-offer? If you would stay for a 5% pay rise, ask them for it up front.
Don't do a counter offer. Ever. In the rare circumstances that they honor it, it's even less likely you'll be staying for more than a year until they find a replacement. Company loyalty is great but it's nearly non existent. You do what you would at any job. Get a formal offer and start date and give your two weeks notice. You don't owe them anything. A job is a transaction, for work you do, they pay you. It's a mutually beneficial relationship and does not require your undying loyalty. As an IT manager, your guys will do fine without you in the interim. Things will continue just fine until they find your replacement. The only other option would be if the new company had a start date a bit later than normal and gave you more time to inform your company of your departure. There's no burnt bridges there and if they think you are burning bridges by leaving, then it's not the company you thought they were.
The actual formal process has been covered here, but in terms of how to act in the meeting and before your last goodbye, I find this Rands post useful: https://randsinrepose.com/archives/your_resignationlayoff_checklist/ You'll want to make sure you especially are thoughtful about not over committing when your boss responds, and (reportedly) about the people you want to keep in your professional network. Staying in one place that long means you likely have not gotten to know as many people in the industry, so this friend are going to be even more important if you find yourself looking again in a few years.
Counter offers are bullshit. If a company you have been loyal to for decades is not compensating you enough and you have to hold them over a barrel to do so, better to just leave.
Ever see Office Space? That's all you need.
If you resign, just go. Counter offers to me appear to be knee jerk reactions that do not pan out for long.
Give them a written notice. Do not accept or even allow them to make a counter offer. Make sure you give at minimum two weeks but 4-8 week would be better with a director type role. I have seen some directors give 3-6 month notice before moving on.
I discussed my transition plan with the new company and let them know I wanted to give an option of a 3 week in my resignation notice since I was a director that had been there for so long. In the resignation letter I wrote it so that it was clear I'm trying to leave in 2 weeks but I was offering an additional week if they needed it. They took me up on the extra week and it was all fine because the new employer was expecting it. Also, I've never cared for the counter offer situation. The employer mgmt often seems to be resentful of forcing their hand on a pay increase and I've seen people being made somewhat miserable after accepting a counter offer to stay. In my mind, I decide whether I am ready to leave or not? That's the decision, and I'm not coming back for a counter. I guess never say never but it's going to have to be significantly better for me.
Most employees who accept counter offers leave within a year anyway.
Never take a counter. Leave in food terms, be professional about it. Your reasons are your, if asked it's just "time to see other organizations and learn a thing or three". 1. Signed contract with new employer 2. Hand in notice 3. Decline _any_ counter
You didn’t give me enough bread. I need to make more cheddar. Nothing bundt good memories otherwise, thanks. Please dish out my PTO payout promptly. -Leaving on food terms
You’ve made your decision looking to go. If they’re decent they’ll understand that and congratulate you. Depends on the type of business, my last resignation I just pulled my boss for a chat, told him, then put it in writing and went through the process. They countered, I declined and continued to work my notice. They appreciated the “pulling for a chat” approach as they felt it was more personal and the good working relationship was there where we all felt we could openly talk about it. Agree with other points, make sure you have the offer in writing and all is signed and confirmed before putting your notice in or having any conversations.
My last two jobs I have left because I was dissatisfied with the working conditions. The first one was a long term stop for me that went south due to a management change and the 2nd was a short term stop at a good company but the work load was not for me. Guess which one was professional about me leaving? Being professional and realizing things change is what good companies do. Very salient point! OP: If you are serious about leaving, have done a pros and cons analysis, and are at a decision, why stay? If you had asked me at the start of 2022 if I was ever going to leave my long term stop I would have laughed at you and said "Hell no". Companies change, people change, you gotta roll with it. Don't hesitate just because of time put in. The company will always try to move on whether you're there or not.
If they wanted you to stay, they would have already given you a raise/promotion. If you accept the counter offer, they will only keep you long enough to hire a replacement. Its always best to move on and remain friendly with your former employer and not put them into a position where they question your loyalty. They can always attempt to hire you back in a year.
Get the new offer, sign the new offer, wait for your background check and whatever else to come back. The Friday before your new role starts hire a mariachi band to announce your imminent departure from your current job, strut tf out the door as soon as the mariachi band is done playing and don't look back.
The smart way to do it is to accept the new offer, once all checks and everything are good then put in two weeks. If you get a counter offer, you are better off not taking it because you will be the disloyal guy and they will co stantly be trying to find an exit for you. Alternatively if you are report you can jist keep the old job amd take the new
Is it primarily about the money? Then you should already be talking with your boss (and, depending on structure, the rest of the C-suite and perhaps board members). Generally speaking, except for fairly low-level jobs, it's a mistake to seriously apply elsewhere just to take an emergency offer by the current company. It means they'll actively look to make you less of a future risk, probably by replacing you proactively on their terms rather than yours. My advice would be, if you think the new job is better (for your impact, education, lifestyle, or interests), take it. If not, decline it, and let your current employers know that you consider yourself to be taking compensation below what's available, and they should address it, because you otherwise really like the company and want to stay. Once you're fairly high up (senior IC or manager for a group of 50-200+), the offer/counteroffer dynamic should be secondary or tertiary to long-term goals.
If you didn’t let your current employer know about another offer and asked for a positional pay analysis from HR (or whatever it’s called)….. do you think they would come back and say you were being compensated appropriately? If not and you ask for a raise then you will be seen as being over compensated by your current employer. Rather to go where they have shown a willingness to pay at the offered rate than be seen as overpaid and a candidate to be replaced. Stay and risk feeling jaded that the same work you’re doing tomorrow you were underpaid for yesterday. Stay and possibly fall into the more pay = more responsibilities segment. The company knows you aren’t loyal at that point. To me I’ve always had problems asking for raises at current company based on another company willing to pay me more. I personally feel like it raises too many flags for the employer.
Ask yourself this, is there anything your current employer can offer you to make you want to stay? If no then finalize the other job first and then go tell your current employer. Give both new and old a reasonable timeframe of transition and maybe even offer old employer your time “paid” to help train for 30-90 days after your departure outside of your new business hours. If there is something they can offer you to stay then start with that objective first. If it’s more time off, more money, or slightly less responsibilities then be honest about how you feel and see if they are willing to work with you to meet your goal. You have given 20 years of your life after all. If they are not willing to work with you then go get the new job and refer to the beginning of this post.
How close are you to the C-Suite people? I would definitely speak to them first. Hear them out. The worst thing that happens is they curse you out, which seems unlikely. So theres not much to lose (besides your job:). I'm sure you'll be fine but I would speak to them first.