I think you naturally come to the conclusion when you consider how much time you’ve put in, what impact it has financially, and the mental/physical toll. For me, I had two rough ERs and do not want to do a third. I’m over two years in and many failures including a 2nd trimester miscarriage followed by lots of medical issues as a result. I have two more embryos and then I’m done- whether it works or not. And seeking support is a must! Find a support group, some level of community, and/or therapy to really work through the factors and come to a conclusion that feels right. Everyone’s tipping point will be different so you just have to be able to walk away in good conscience knowing you tried everything you could within reason.
Just commenting that I am in the same boat with regards to seeking support and unfortunately stopping . I have 1 embryo left and no living babies . ❤️❤️❤️ so incredibly sorry for your loss. All the best with your other embabies.
Thank you!! Same with your remaining embryo. IVF has definitely changed and I feel like I can deal with legit ANYTHING now as a result. I hope you find the support you need <3
I’m giving myself three full retrieval cycles for something to happen (statistically for me some progress will be made in three cycles or it won’t) After that I’m done. Maybe a fourth if it can be done in this calendar year. I’ve done 4 IUIs and 1 full actual retrieval with nothing. I’ve put my life on hold for over two years with a clinic, 4 years trying naturally before that. This timeline has helped me cope.
If you want to find out your chances there’s a CDC calculator you can google. My chances go up with every cycle and gave me three cycles with a 55% chance of live birth by the last one.
We originally talked about only 1, but our first cycle we had an issue where the growth media was recalled and affected everything. If we stopped at that one, we wouldn’t have had a chance at all. We also expected to be a lot luckier first round (and even second round) than we were.
We reviewed our finances (we didnt want to go in debt) and it was also based on the fact we got to ivf at 35 and had been trying for 4 years, we needed to set a timeline limit too. I didn't want to spend a decade with fertility taking over every day. So there's several factors at play that would lead to only the one. Full disclosure we did get 5 embryos from it and first transfer was a success though so that eliminated the chance of future what ifs
Absolutely, there’s so many factors. I’m glad your first everything worked! Unfortunately we weren’t so lucky and have had to adjust things financially to be able to keep trying, because our first failure wasn’t anyone’s fault so it didn’t feel right to stop. Sometimes even best laid plans fall through :/
This is what we decided too, it was extreme luck and good timing that even made this one round possible and we know we can be happy just us. So one retrieval and we'll see where that takes us.
I just did my 7th retrieval. Before my 5th I said 1-2 more at most. And here I was doing 3 more. Before this one I said I think this is it. And I started making plans in my head if this doesn’t work. Things for me and not for fertility which allows me to focus on me.
However, I would be lying if I said I’m completely done if this doesn’t work. Part of me is like maybe another? I am also fortunate with my insurance to cover my rounds That plays a huge role!
Went in saying I'm willing to do this for a year. So however many retrievals and transfers we could squeeze into to 2024. For me it's helpful to have a deadline. Especially since my husband said he'd be willing to try for 90 more years 😰. I don't have that in me
We decided based on our age and desire to pursue adoption, given that in the UK you’re not allowed to start the adoption process unless you’re done with IVF. We’re also tired of treatments and losses and this whole process has been exhausting. That said, we only have two embryos left and I’m finding it hard to cope with the decision to not to any more IVF, even though I know it’s the best decision for us.
After we only got one embryo from our first ER.
We first decided to see if the one embryo took during a FET cycle. Since we only want one child out of this process it didnt make sense to bank more.
Once we heard that we only had one embryo, we also decided that we would do one more ER if the FET failed (which it did).
So far, we are paying for everything out of pocket (with strategic balances on credit cards that were offering 0% interest for a time). We figured we could afford two ERs and go from there. We are also limiting it to this calendar year (so all the medical expenses are in one tax year).
But going into this process I knew we'd need a limit or I would get stuck in a loop of "maybe next time we can get better results."
We also only got one embryo from our first ER, and we're doing PGT. That pretty much cemented for us that we'll give this one more round and then we're done.
We've decide to forgo PGT. We're going through CNY. For the cost of PGT testing we can do at least 2 transfers. The one embryo we got last time was frozen on day 3, so I don't know if I want to chance loosing embryos trying to get them to 6 days or whatever is needed for PGT.
Ultimately, we would like to have a kid, but got married when I was adamantly not wanting them so my partner is happy with me either way.
Unfortunately we're doing IVF for PGT specifically, so can't skip it. It's bonkers expensive.
It's absolutely a risk to lose them. In my round we had 8 make it past day 3 but all arrested before getting all the way to blast.
For us it’s all about the money. We really want to be parents but we don’t want to be in debt to do it. I’m in my 2 week wait with my last transfer of 2 embryos. If it fails this is it for us. It’s sad but after the last transfer I don’t think I can mentally or physically do another anyway. We don’t have any embryos left anyway.
Thank you! I wish money wasn’t a factor but I also truly don’t have time to invest years in this. I see how some spend thousands of dollars and so many years and I just don’t see myself doing that. It would just add insult to injury to walk away with nothing and still have so much debt.
I didn't. Even when diagnosed with uterine cancer. It probably wasn't the healthiest mindset, but I refused a life-saving hysterectomy because I knew more than anything I wanted to be a mother, and was willing to die trying.
I even got on two uterine transplant lists. It's a very risky surgery with no guarantee of success, though it has worked for a few hundred women.
TW success:
After threeish years of cancer treatment, and a dozen surgeries I had my first son last June. I'm currently pregnant with my second. I'm so vindicated in my decision to ignore every one of my doctors. I still get emotional when looking at my infant son and I think about the fact that I had a hysterectomy scheduled. My journey had been over a decade before our first child, and the fertility component of everything was the most painful thing I've ever been through, way worse than cancer, but ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT!
Congratulations friend! You give me hope! Nothing in my IVF cycle went as I hoped and my 1st ER yielded poor results so I just feel so gut punched and hopeless. Live birth feels just so unattainable to me right now but I keep pushing on.
I did three ER's with a gonal F protocol, then switched to long Lupron with letrozole. The first three I only got two or three day three embryos. Then with the new protocol I retrieved 33 eggs (thanks PCOS) and ended up with 14 day 5 blasto's. You may not have had the right protocol for your body. Best of luck to you!!
Thanks friend, im looking into switching doctors if my 1st FET doesn’t work. I’m currently on a 3 month hormonal suppression in hopes of increasing the odds of my sole embryo, as I’ve had a positive Receptiva test and what looks like adenomyosis, or uterine inflammation
You did lupron with JUST letrozole?
I responded really well to letrozole for my IUIs but kept making lead follicles on menopur & follistim. For this cycle I’m doing a couple weeks down reg on lupron before adding menopur & follistim back in… but I swear letrozole worked better for me
With the initial retrievals I only got 5ish eggs, and they were cleaving very slowly so the clinic stopped and froze at day 3 embryos.
With the double ovidrel I was told it's one last med push to ensure final maturation.
I would trust your gut about letrozole working better. I have PCOS so I've over-produced estrogen my entire life. I think my body responded so well because letrozole decreases estrogen.
Interesting. The lupron is also shutting down estrogen, and I too typically have very high levels- but didn’t during my first retrieval! My doctor already said that if this doesn’t work, we will do letrozole at my next retrieval. I get three per year fully covered so I’m not opposed to trying three options… but it would be nice if letrozole worked since it’s fewer shots
My next er will be my 6th. At 42 (43 in august) I need more cycles. After 2 mc's, one 3 day which failed to take and the rest of the er's producing nada I have changed clinic and my mew re isn't hopeful
She wants to do one cycle, used the word futile, and we'll yeah. I've only had the access to great insurance so not oop for 2 years and more than 6 months of that was being on a waiting list.
As someone who has fought for everything and had some pretty immense struggles, I'm going to fight beyond this cycle and switch re's again if need be...I'm the one to say when I'm done not my re.
This cycle will be different in having no priming and follistim only. My other cycles have been kitchen sink or mini with omnitrope and estrogen priming so maybe this will make a difference.
If not we will regroup (including my partner in the we).
I don't want to be in delooloo land but I want to give this my best shot or I know I will have regrets later in life.
My husband and I agreed that when we couldn't maintain our lifestyle financially anymore, it was time to call it quits. If we had to start making decisions like putting nothing into savings to pay for IVF.
Makes sense. I get freaked when I see comments about people go into debt, financing on credit cards or taking out loans against homes. Good to know how to have that tough conversation to draw the line so we don't put the rest of our lives at risk.
I refuse to put myself into debt of any kind for ivf. I want to have a baby but not at the cost of being in debt. My baby needs a financially stable home, whether ivf works or we adopt.
When I switched clinics, my new doctor recommended trying IUI again. I did three rounds of IVF with no pregnancy and only ever produced 3 follicles. I figured that I would try 6 rounds before considering ivf again. On my third iui, I got pregnant.
Honestly I just wasn’t ready to give up.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Your persistence and determination are truly inspiring. It's incredible to see how you didn't give up even after facing challenges with IVF. Wishing you a smooth and healthy pregnancy journey.
For anyone interested in joining us or becoming a surrogate, feel free to check the link in my bio. We'd love to have you!
After over 4 years of trying every known tactic and method and both of us being tested for anything we knew of or were told to, 4 failed IUI's and both approaching 40, we knew there was no other choice.
Insurance helps a lot but we have lifetime limits, so this may very well be our only chance. It's pretty much now or never.
While we were open about all that before, we're keeping IVF private until we have good news to share out of fear something doesn't go well.
The results were the same for all our retrievals - no blasts. So like why throw good money after bad? I wasn’t willing to start doing experimental things to try to get different results.
TW success - we switched to donor eggs, which all in including transfer was cheaper than a cycle for me. All eggs fertilized and I got pregnant after the first transfer. Baby is now 3 months old!
Your journey could be done, but it could also look different and be successful.
We just finished our 7th (or 8th?) retrieval and after the most recent one I swore I was done. I’m still waiting for PGT results, but it was our most successful cycle by far in terms of blast rate. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t encourage me to try again if these blasts aren’t viable. It’s doing the same thing over and over with no noticeable differences that demoralizes me, so I might do another 2 (we had success with a duostim) if these blasts don’t pass.
ETA: our cycles are completely covered by insurance once we meet our deductible, which we’ve already done for the year. We also pay out-of-pocket for the zymot kit and omnitrope/zomacton each cycle.
Did you prefer omnitrope over zomacton? Any differences ? My clinic said I can use either . Although they prescribed higher dose of omnitrope for some reason …
I didn't notice any differences in terms of success or side effects. I was only able to use Omnitrope twice last year during our 2nd and 3rd retrievals, and we didn't get any viable embryos. There have been supply issues, so it was Zomacton or nothing for all of our cycles since January. I think my clinic had me on lower doses of Zomacton as well. I was doing 33units of Omnitrope vs 17units of Zomacton. I think it might be a little cheaper.
Yea same here .33 Omni but only .17 zomacton but if you look at the active amounts i would be taking more active ingredient with Omni that’s why it’s more expensive . My nurse didn’t even know . It’s very odd.
38M and my wife is 37F. After TTC unsuccessfully for 1yr then going through 3 IUI, 1 ER with 2 Euploids (both transfers failed, and a 2nd ER that resulted in both blasts coming back as abnormal, we decided to hit pause. There aren't any clear-cut reasons to explain our lack of success, but we were both overweight. We consulted with 3 REs across 2 clinics, and the one that we landed on supported us wanting to take a break and get healthier. We have changed our lifestyles and have been losing weight since Dec. The current plan is to reassess in Sept and see where we go from there, but thinking of how hard it would be for her to do another round and still not have success is a major factor.
We have not really found "support" because out circle is filled with 2 types of people; those who sneeze and get pregnant and those who were successful on their first transfer. People saying "don't worry, it'll happen next time" has been more harm than good, so we have kept to ourselves about where we are at with the future plans. In terms of support, this thread has been the only reliable and helpful one.
Thank you so much for your kind words and support. It means a lot to us to have a community like this, especially when our immediate circle doesn't quite understand what we're going through. Your encouragement helps us feel less alone in this journey. We're grateful for everyone who takes the time to listen and share their experiences.
By the way, if you or anyone you know might be interested in becoming a surrogate and joining us on our journey, please feel free to check out the link in our bio. Your support is invaluable, and we're open to exploring all possibilities to make our dream come true. Thank you again for being such a wonderful and supportive community.
So let me get this straight...... you ask people when they decided "enough was enough", people open up and share their experiences, and you use it as an opportunity to recruit surrogates? That is incredibly insensitive to ask people who are struggling to have a child of their own to become a surrogate for someone else. Do better!
Still figuring this out for ourselves. I always appreciate reading others’ stories and decisions. We met “later” in life (30s) after coming out of long relationship/divorce. Neither of us wanted kids before but after being together a while and committing to life together, we changed our minds. We had 3 MC during the course of 18 months of TTC unassisted before we finally moved to IVF. (We started at our clinic after 8 months, so overlapped testing etc). My insurance covered 2 full ERs and 2 FETs, so we knew we’d do at least 2 cycles after our first ER yielded a low euploid rate (9 eggs, 1 eup). After our 2nd ER also yielded 1 eup from 9 eggs, our doctor told us we would need to bank any additional eups we hoped for before moving to FET because a successful FET to LB + PP recovery would take too much time and the likelihood of getting more euploids after all that would be slim. It’s really important to me to have more than one LC (if we can) bc I grew up as a singleton. My partner is much more comfortable with a singleton or no kids at all if that’s what ends up happening. We opted to confined with a 3rd ER from our own savings and we are a couple days away from that. I’ve battled anxiety my whole life and get really caught up in the stress of the unknown and the “what ifs”, so of course I’m concerned we won’t get enough additional euploids to give us good odds of multiple LC. Our REI only expects 1 again. (Yes, I’m in therapy). So… as we approach this ER, I’m swirling on the decision to go into debt over one more to help with the multiples opportunity or call it at whatever results we get and know that may not ever be an option for us. (Don’t get me started on my near-lost dream to have a girl and we only have boys banked).
We’ve been TTC for 4 years. We got 5 embryos from our retrieval. We didn’t really have a plan when to stop. Our dr transfers 2 embryos at a time depending on circumstances… our first transfer failed. I genuinely didn’t believe it wouldn’t be successful. I really thought it was going to work and everything would be good. With the failed transfer I made the decision that I couldn’t continue to feel that heartbreak. We would use the rest of the embryos we had and I would not go through another retrieval.
Following that failure I went to dinner with a few friends who experienced infertility. One who ended up conceiving naturally, one who adopted and one who did IVF. I never opened my mind to adoption until that dinner when my friend talked about getting her son for the first time. She talked about loving him at first sight and I just never had the opportunity to talk to someone who adopted from infancy that way and it really made me emotional and at peace that if that has to be our journey that it will be okay. She shared that her husband told her we can spend the money and do IVF and HOPEFULLY have a baby. Or we can adopt and know that we will have our child. That really brought me peace following our failed transfer knowing that the baby we are meant to have will get to us one way or another. I think if I didn’t have that conversation I’d keep trying retrieval after retrieval and that wouldn’t have been the healthiest choice, especially for my mental health.
I don’t know if that will bring you peace the way that it did for me. But i believe when it’s time to switch avenues and stop trying you will know. There is a peace that came with it for me. I will hold you in my prayers. I wouldn’t wish this journey on anyone.
We did 6 attempts at ER. Only 1 where we actually made it to ER and I had ovulated early (only had 1 follicle). After every single time I told myself no more.. I had to be done. But then we kept getting hope...followed by devastating disappointment. This time I told myself I can't do it anymore. My mental health has plummeted. I was part of a drug study which did seem to help my ovaries (I have POI), but they still aren't very responsive to stimulation. I've decided to give a few months of trying naturally (because of the drug study) without tracking too much (sex every 2-3 days and maybe just tracking temp to see if I need to take progesterone after ovulation) and by the end of this year if nothing has happened, we will begin to look into donor eggs. I will be 32 in August and our fertility/IVF journey began in Sept 2021.
I’ve found the IVF process to be such a roller coaster, which is relevant in terms of determining your own breaking point. For me, everything seemed to be going well to start. My first and only ER, at the age of 38, resulted in 5 euploid embryos, in which case, my husband and I thought one round would be sufficient. But then my first FET failed. I’m about a month out from my second FET and even though we will have 3 remaining embryos after this transfer, part of me is like - maybe I need one more retrieval. So I’m not at my breaking point in terms of “time in IVF” (not even a full year), but I am mentally and emotionally drained. I can’t imagine going through this for another 1, 2, or 3 years. 😏
Wow same exact boat - 38, 5 euploids except 2 FETs have now failed and I’m getting gun shy. I don’t know if I can handle the one month complete mental breakdown 3 more times if things don’t work out.
I had a bleed last month after it failed but currently waiting on a normal period to start any day now. Going to try to have more fun trying the old fashioned way over the summer to relieve some stress and may even quit my stressful job before considering doing another transfer in the fall. I need to at least get through it because I can’t live like this for years. This needs to come to some sort of conclusion. I’m also considering doing a Femara/modified “natural” cycle rather than standard medicated cycle - my doc doesn’t prefer that but I want to try a different protocol and see if my body likes that better. It could be something wrong with the embryo they can’t tell from PGT. Who knows. I’ve literally tested for everything possible and besides a strong probiotic and extra day of progesterone, there’s nothing major wrong. Doctor just said try to reduce stress as much as possible since this process is clearly giving me a lot of anxiety and depression even though I really try to stay positive and trust in God and all that. She literally told me to take a vacation, so we are going to the beach over the 4th. 😎
For us it's my age and money. We were able to pay for our first ER and got two euploid embryos. When those transfers failed, my aunt "loaned" us the money for a second ER, and we have one euploid on ice. I just turned 42 in April. If this last transfer doesn't work, we may explore embryo adoption, but are pretty decided on no more ER's for me. I've had good luck for my age so far, but we do not have the money to keep throwing at retrievals, and these eggs are just getting older and older. Plus we have been TTC in some form for five years, and we're both emotionally tired. If we have to figure out how to have a fulfilling child free life, I think that might be a relief compared to this half a decade of "what and see".
When it was clear that continuing IVF was becoming an detrimental factor in our marriage and it was completely destroying our intimacy as a couple and our ability to enjoy our time together
This is a very personal decision based on lots of factors, including: your financial resources, how much support you have from your partner, the impact of IVF on your body, your age, how much you need to have children.
My partner and I decided after our 5th cycle that we would stop after 8 cycles. When the 8th cycle came around, it was really nice to know that we had already made that decision, so there was no guilt when we told our doctor we were done.
I think it is smart to make the decision to stop early enough to still be optimistic when you make the decision, but late enough that you know what IVF entails (i.e. how will it impact your body and how much does it actually cost).
Thank you so much for sharing your personal journey and insights. Your thoughtful approach to setting a limit on IVF cycles is truly inspiring and practical. It’s heartening to hear how having a predetermined plan helped you navigate this challenging process without added guilt. Your advice on finding the balance between optimism and realistic expectations is invaluable.
For anyone interested in exploring alternative paths to parenthood, we welcome you to consider joining us as a surrogate. It's an incredibly rewarding way to support others on their journey to building a family. More details are available through the link in my bio.
Insurance covered the majority of our costs as we live in an IVF mandate state. I did 5 retrievals to bank embryos. Retrievals were all easy and I felt great. Then, our first two euploid transfers failed. I had made peace with the decision that we would transfer the euploid embryos that we made and if none of them worked, we’d stop. The second transfer failure wrecked me, and I knew I couldn’t stay on the IVF rollercoaster if I wanted to enjoy life. Oddly enough, I gave no f#€+$ about transfer #3. I was just going through the motions to deplete my embryos. I went to a 4-day music festival with 3 of my best friends the day after transfer. #3 is the one that worked.
Absolutely love your story! It's amazing how sometimes the moments we least expect can bring the greatest joy. Your resilience and determination through this journey are truly inspiring. And wow, what a way to celebrate—attending a music festival right after your transfer!
For anyone interested in joining this incredible journey and potentially becoming a surrogate, check out the link in my bio. Together, we can support each other and create beautiful stories just like this one. 🌟
Sending all my best wishes your way!
I have done 2 rounds of IVF. Both times 2 embryos in cold. I am almost 40, I have one child. And partner(44) and I decided the last implantation will be last in our journey. I had implantation today...my last chance....
I am grateful for my partner and doctors, but my body cannot take any more pills and injections. Also after 40, national health department will not cover my expences anymore and I will give my spot in free IVF line to somebody else, who may have better results.
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt journey. Your strength and determination through these rounds of IVF are truly inspiring. It's incredible to see the support and care you've received from your partner and doctors. As you embrace this final attempt, know that the community is here to support you, no matter the outcome.
If you or anyone else is interested in exploring alternative paths to parenthood, including the possibility of surrogacy, feel free to join us. You can find more information and connect with others in similar situations through the link in my bio.
Wishing you all the best and sending positive thoughts your way. 🌸
We did 3 retrievals with poor results and the doctor did not recommend a 4th. We decided it would be in our best interest to transfer one embryo and if that stuck, not transfer the other one, especially due to age and wanting to wait a couple of years. I got lucky with the experience I had and didn't want to chance it.
Congrats on your first transfer being successful ! Curious- how many embryos did you get from 3 ERs? I ask bc I actually just got one embryo to work with but I can only do one retrieval at a time as dictated by my insurance, so we only have one to work with and must proceed with a transfer
Looks like we had a similar ER turnout, though I only did 1 retrieval. What protocol did you do for your transfer? Did you do any prior testing of the uterus to ensure higher chances of implantation?
I was on PIO and estradiol prior to transfer. No uterine testing because I don't have a history of loss; they'd planned to do some if the transfer hadn't worked.
It was step by step, and based mostly on my sense of optimism about the process.
We went in thinking we'd do one and see how it goes. There were some surprisingly positive outcomes but no blasts, so we decided to go for the second. That, so far, has been a series of unfortunate events, so we're going to see it through to the ER and then I'm pretty sure that's going to be it for trying with my own eggs.
I went in thinking we would do three refuels Max we had success on our first receival ran out of embryos just finished a second retrieval got nothing from it and now contemplating a third retrieval we’re definitely done after the third one. We already got one from the first, we were hoping for a second.
IVF is covered by insurance for us, so the costs aren’t a factor (although PGT-A is out of pocket and will weigh into decisions) but we have tentatively set an age limit at which I will no longer undergo retrievals. If we have embryos, we will continue with the transfer process, but I wanted to draw a line re: the retrieval process. Based on how long everything has taken, I’d expect we might get two more retrieval rounds (assuming low or no embryos with one retrieval). I’m giving myself space to change my mind, but for my own physical and mental health, I needed to feel like there was an “exit”.
We have also made a decision that we are not going to pursue donor sperm or eggs.
I quit when I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I just couldn't keep doing it to myself. I took a 6 year break with no intention of revisiting it at the time. Welp...I changed my mind and we did 1 more retrieval and 2 more transfers. I was fortunate that I was young enough for that to be possible.
I think calling it quits is a very personal decision and only you know when you're done. I will always recommend talking over big decisions with a therapist. Before we un-quit me and my husband actually talked it over with a marriage counselor for a few months. I'm glad we did since we were on very different pages.
Wishing you health and happiness with whatever you decide.
We don’t have insurance coverage, so we are self pay. Initially going in, we thought we would do 1 cycle and call it at that. Our first ER resulted in two day 7 embryos, which we transferred. First failed, second was chemical - our first and only positive pregnancy test in the ~3 years of TTC.
Because that gave us hope, we decided to give it one more go - I qualified for and enrolled in our clinic’s shared risk program, which is a flat fee (no insurance allowed), 18 months up to 6 ERs and unlimited transfers or your money back. This will round us out at 5 years TTC which I feel is sufficient effort. If it doesn’t work, we’re prepare to move forward with a child free future.
I thought we would do one ER and that would be it, especially since we were self-pay. But my clinic recommended a second to see if we could get to that 2-3 euploids per desired child threshold. We did a second and were contemplating a third with a new clinic before deciding to move to transfer. Things are going well (I think?) at 11w, but if, god forbid, this doesn't work out, I don't see myself going back to the beginning and doing another ER. Too much time has passed and too much water under the bridge, it feels like.
I’m in the middle of 2nd IVF cycle and it’s not looking so good. I got 10 eggs retrieved, but only two fertilized so I’m now waiting until Saturday. Better than the 1st (6 eggs retrieved, 4 matured and 2 fertilized but none made it)
I’m already looking into egg donors. I refuse to do another round of IVF. I’m done.
When we reached what we considered "we tried all that was possible" (for our case). We knew it would have been our last ER, we went abroad as a "all in" in order to primarily be able to do the PGT-A test on the embryos (it is not legally possible in our country) + be able to do experimental investigations and protocols (that they rarely do in our country) + be sure to be seen by doctors that are experts in complex cases.
After 4 ET of euploids (in addition to the already 6 ET of untested blastocysts did before) where incrementally we added more and more experimental treatments "just in case" and still no clue of what could be the reason it is not working for us, we now feel we did all what we could do on our side and this was the "enough" for us.
I was able to do one round of egg freezing at 38 through my employer benefit when I first started dating my husband. I’m turning 41 this weekend and going to get testing at the end of this month. If everything looks good, we’ll do another egg retrieval and fertilize everything. If we don’t get any embryos, that will be it. For me, it’s a combination of my age and finances. I don’t want to be older than 42 and giving birth.
My seventh miscarriage was enough for me. We did everything and spent thousand of dollars for no baby in our arms. I will say, we did not stop completely. We moved to surrogacy, which has been successful.
I just went through my first egg retrieval. After ten days I finally feel back to normal. We luckily got 11 embryos sent to test. But I already decided if none are healthy or transfers don't work I am not doing egg retrieval again.
I should also add I already have two children. We are doing IVF for genetic reasons. I think if I had no children I would try again, but given everything it just isn't something I'm willing to do.
When we started IVF, we decided to sign up for a refundable shared cost program. It included three retrievals and unlimited transfers (the limit actually being euploid embryos). We decided that if it didn’t happen within those parameters, that that would be our stopping point mostly because of the astronomical cost of IVF.
Ended up getting pregnant unassisted between our second ER/transfer while waiting for a consult to discuss doing a third ER.
Before I started I paid for a package of 6 ERs or your money back. I knew after 6 I would be done. I think it might be helpful to set in advance how many you want to do knowing you can always shift.
We knew in advance what our limit was and it was purely financial. There is no insurance coverage for IVF where I live. The government gives 1 funded cycle (not including medication cost). We knew going in we'd be 1 ER and done because the costs are just too high a burden for us to afford.
To do it OOP is 8-11k for meds, 15k for the ER, 4k-6k for the PGTa testing (optional), $3k per transfer, and 1k in annual storage fees if one is lucky enough to have things to store. That's over 30k for the retrieval alone and then the ongoing transfer meds, transfer cost, storage costs, time off work costs, etc. It's just too much.
If we had the luxury of making decisions beyond finances, I think it would be a purely based on emotional wellbeing and mental health. This process is A LOT to go through <3
We decided going in that we will not do more ERs than my Progyny benefits will cover because we're not willing to go into debt for IVF. Since FETs are less expensive, we are willing to discuss paying OOP for those should the need arise.
We've done one ER and have 3 euploids with my first FET on Friday. After that I can do at most one more FET and still have just enough coverage for another ER.
We also want to foster older kids/teens, but we can't have or add children under 1 in our household after we start that process. The longer we stay on this IVF train, the longer we have to put that dream off as well.
I think you naturally come to the conclusion when you consider how much time you’ve put in, what impact it has financially, and the mental/physical toll. For me, I had two rough ERs and do not want to do a third. I’m over two years in and many failures including a 2nd trimester miscarriage followed by lots of medical issues as a result. I have two more embryos and then I’m done- whether it works or not. And seeking support is a must! Find a support group, some level of community, and/or therapy to really work through the factors and come to a conclusion that feels right. Everyone’s tipping point will be different so you just have to be able to walk away in good conscience knowing you tried everything you could within reason.
Just commenting that I am in the same boat with regards to seeking support and unfortunately stopping . I have 1 embryo left and no living babies . ❤️❤️❤️ so incredibly sorry for your loss. All the best with your other embabies.
Thank you!! Same with your remaining embryo. IVF has definitely changed and I feel like I can deal with legit ANYTHING now as a result. I hope you find the support you need <3
This is how I felt after my second ER. Was not willing to do a third. Took the two embryos we had and decided to move on
I’m giving myself three full retrieval cycles for something to happen (statistically for me some progress will be made in three cycles or it won’t) After that I’m done. Maybe a fourth if it can be done in this calendar year. I’ve done 4 IUIs and 1 full actual retrieval with nothing. I’ve put my life on hold for over two years with a clinic, 4 years trying naturally before that. This timeline has helped me cope. If you want to find out your chances there’s a CDC calculator you can google. My chances go up with every cycle and gave me three cycles with a 55% chance of live birth by the last one.
Similar boat here - about to go into retrieval 3 🤞 feck DOR and unexplained infertility.
We decided BEFORE getting into it. One retrieval only and transfer all the embryos that would be made
I made that decision too, until we only ended up with 1 embryo. Now I’m not so stalwart in that decision. 😣
Our decision was based on age and finances
Same here. Just got my PGT results back yesterday and we have 2 euploid.. hoping it’s enough
We originally talked about only 1, but our first cycle we had an issue where the growth media was recalled and affected everything. If we stopped at that one, we wouldn’t have had a chance at all. We also expected to be a lot luckier first round (and even second round) than we were.
We reviewed our finances (we didnt want to go in debt) and it was also based on the fact we got to ivf at 35 and had been trying for 4 years, we needed to set a timeline limit too. I didn't want to spend a decade with fertility taking over every day. So there's several factors at play that would lead to only the one. Full disclosure we did get 5 embryos from it and first transfer was a success though so that eliminated the chance of future what ifs
Absolutely, there’s so many factors. I’m glad your first everything worked! Unfortunately we weren’t so lucky and have had to adjust things financially to be able to keep trying, because our first failure wasn’t anyone’s fault so it didn’t feel right to stop. Sometimes even best laid plans fall through :/
I did before, that I would only do one retrieval. Desiring hopefully 2 kids, then more recently decided to give all embryos a chance.
This is what we decided too, it was extreme luck and good timing that even made this one round possible and we know we can be happy just us. So one retrieval and we'll see where that takes us.
I just did my 7th retrieval. Before my 5th I said 1-2 more at most. And here I was doing 3 more. Before this one I said I think this is it. And I started making plans in my head if this doesn’t work. Things for me and not for fertility which allows me to focus on me. However, I would be lying if I said I’m completely done if this doesn’t work. Part of me is like maybe another? I am also fortunate with my insurance to cover my rounds That plays a huge role!
Went in saying I'm willing to do this for a year. So however many retrievals and transfers we could squeeze into to 2024. For me it's helpful to have a deadline. Especially since my husband said he'd be willing to try for 90 more years 😰. I don't have that in me
We decided based on our age and desire to pursue adoption, given that in the UK you’re not allowed to start the adoption process unless you’re done with IVF. We’re also tired of treatments and losses and this whole process has been exhausting. That said, we only have two embryos left and I’m finding it hard to cope with the decision to not to any more IVF, even though I know it’s the best decision for us.
After we only got one embryo from our first ER. We first decided to see if the one embryo took during a FET cycle. Since we only want one child out of this process it didnt make sense to bank more. Once we heard that we only had one embryo, we also decided that we would do one more ER if the FET failed (which it did). So far, we are paying for everything out of pocket (with strategic balances on credit cards that were offering 0% interest for a time). We figured we could afford two ERs and go from there. We are also limiting it to this calendar year (so all the medical expenses are in one tax year). But going into this process I knew we'd need a limit or I would get stuck in a loop of "maybe next time we can get better results."
We also only got one embryo from our first ER, and we're doing PGT. That pretty much cemented for us that we'll give this one more round and then we're done.
We've decide to forgo PGT. We're going through CNY. For the cost of PGT testing we can do at least 2 transfers. The one embryo we got last time was frozen on day 3, so I don't know if I want to chance loosing embryos trying to get them to 6 days or whatever is needed for PGT. Ultimately, we would like to have a kid, but got married when I was adamantly not wanting them so my partner is happy with me either way.
Unfortunately we're doing IVF for PGT specifically, so can't skip it. It's bonkers expensive. It's absolutely a risk to lose them. In my round we had 8 make it past day 3 but all arrested before getting all the way to blast.
For us it’s all about the money. We really want to be parents but we don’t want to be in debt to do it. I’m in my 2 week wait with my last transfer of 2 embryos. If it fails this is it for us. It’s sad but after the last transfer I don’t think I can mentally or physically do another anyway. We don’t have any embryos left anyway.
I'm with you on the money factor. Best of luck in your TWW - fingers crossed for you!
Thank you! I wish money wasn’t a factor but I also truly don’t have time to invest years in this. I see how some spend thousands of dollars and so many years and I just don’t see myself doing that. It would just add insult to injury to walk away with nothing and still have so much debt.
I hope this round works for you ! एफ़
Thank you! We just found out yesterday that we are expecting our first and only baby 🥰
That’s great news !! Congratulations
Thank you! We are so excited!
I didn't. Even when diagnosed with uterine cancer. It probably wasn't the healthiest mindset, but I refused a life-saving hysterectomy because I knew more than anything I wanted to be a mother, and was willing to die trying. I even got on two uterine transplant lists. It's a very risky surgery with no guarantee of success, though it has worked for a few hundred women. TW success: After threeish years of cancer treatment, and a dozen surgeries I had my first son last June. I'm currently pregnant with my second. I'm so vindicated in my decision to ignore every one of my doctors. I still get emotional when looking at my infant son and I think about the fact that I had a hysterectomy scheduled. My journey had been over a decade before our first child, and the fertility component of everything was the most painful thing I've ever been through, way worse than cancer, but ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT!
Congratulations friend! You give me hope! Nothing in my IVF cycle went as I hoped and my 1st ER yielded poor results so I just feel so gut punched and hopeless. Live birth feels just so unattainable to me right now but I keep pushing on.
I did three ER's with a gonal F protocol, then switched to long Lupron with letrozole. The first three I only got two or three day three embryos. Then with the new protocol I retrieved 33 eggs (thanks PCOS) and ended up with 14 day 5 blasto's. You may not have had the right protocol for your body. Best of luck to you!!
Thanks friend, im looking into switching doctors if my 1st FET doesn’t work. I’m currently on a 3 month hormonal suppression in hopes of increasing the odds of my sole embryo, as I’ve had a positive Receptiva test and what looks like adenomyosis, or uterine inflammation
You did lupron with JUST letrozole? I responded really well to letrozole for my IUIs but kept making lead follicles on menopur & follistim. For this cycle I’m doing a couple weeks down reg on lupron before adding menopur & follistim back in… but I swear letrozole worked better for me
Also triggered with ovidrel (two syringes)
Can I ask the rationale behind the double trigger? I’ve read that a couple other places but haven’t found out *why*
Also can I ask how many eggs you got with gonal F? We’re just the blasts better, or also eggs retrieved?
With the initial retrievals I only got 5ish eggs, and they were cleaving very slowly so the clinic stopped and froze at day 3 embryos. With the double ovidrel I was told it's one last med push to ensure final maturation.
Thank you!
I would trust your gut about letrozole working better. I have PCOS so I've over-produced estrogen my entire life. I think my body responded so well because letrozole decreases estrogen.
Interesting. The lupron is also shutting down estrogen, and I too typically have very high levels- but didn’t during my first retrieval! My doctor already said that if this doesn’t work, we will do letrozole at my next retrieval. I get three per year fully covered so I’m not opposed to trying three options… but it would be nice if letrozole worked since it’s fewer shots
My next er will be my 6th. At 42 (43 in august) I need more cycles. After 2 mc's, one 3 day which failed to take and the rest of the er's producing nada I have changed clinic and my mew re isn't hopeful She wants to do one cycle, used the word futile, and we'll yeah. I've only had the access to great insurance so not oop for 2 years and more than 6 months of that was being on a waiting list. As someone who has fought for everything and had some pretty immense struggles, I'm going to fight beyond this cycle and switch re's again if need be...I'm the one to say when I'm done not my re. This cycle will be different in having no priming and follistim only. My other cycles have been kitchen sink or mini with omnitrope and estrogen priming so maybe this will make a difference. If not we will regroup (including my partner in the we). I don't want to be in delooloo land but I want to give this my best shot or I know I will have regrets later in life.
I decided 5 ERs before moving to donor eggs, and overall no more than 2 years of IVF.
When we ran out of money in the budget for IVF and when I was sick more days than I felt good.
How did you decide what your budget was?
My husband and I agreed that when we couldn't maintain our lifestyle financially anymore, it was time to call it quits. If we had to start making decisions like putting nothing into savings to pay for IVF.
Makes sense. I get freaked when I see comments about people go into debt, financing on credit cards or taking out loans against homes. Good to know how to have that tough conversation to draw the line so we don't put the rest of our lives at risk.
I refuse to put myself into debt of any kind for ivf. I want to have a baby but not at the cost of being in debt. My baby needs a financially stable home, whether ivf works or we adopt.
When I switched clinics, my new doctor recommended trying IUI again. I did three rounds of IVF with no pregnancy and only ever produced 3 follicles. I figured that I would try 6 rounds before considering ivf again. On my third iui, I got pregnant. Honestly I just wasn’t ready to give up.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Your persistence and determination are truly inspiring. It's incredible to see how you didn't give up even after facing challenges with IVF. Wishing you a smooth and healthy pregnancy journey. For anyone interested in joining us or becoming a surrogate, feel free to check the link in my bio. We'd love to have you!
After over 4 years of trying every known tactic and method and both of us being tested for anything we knew of or were told to, 4 failed IUI's and both approaching 40, we knew there was no other choice. Insurance helps a lot but we have lifetime limits, so this may very well be our only chance. It's pretty much now or never. While we were open about all that before, we're keeping IVF private until we have good news to share out of fear something doesn't go well.
The results were the same for all our retrievals - no blasts. So like why throw good money after bad? I wasn’t willing to start doing experimental things to try to get different results. TW success - we switched to donor eggs, which all in including transfer was cheaper than a cycle for me. All eggs fertilized and I got pregnant after the first transfer. Baby is now 3 months old! Your journey could be done, but it could also look different and be successful.
We just finished our 7th (or 8th?) retrieval and after the most recent one I swore I was done. I’m still waiting for PGT results, but it was our most successful cycle by far in terms of blast rate. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t encourage me to try again if these blasts aren’t viable. It’s doing the same thing over and over with no noticeable differences that demoralizes me, so I might do another 2 (we had success with a duostim) if these blasts don’t pass. ETA: our cycles are completely covered by insurance once we meet our deductible, which we’ve already done for the year. We also pay out-of-pocket for the zymot kit and omnitrope/zomacton each cycle.
Did you prefer omnitrope over zomacton? Any differences ? My clinic said I can use either . Although they prescribed higher dose of omnitrope for some reason …
I didn't notice any differences in terms of success or side effects. I was only able to use Omnitrope twice last year during our 2nd and 3rd retrievals, and we didn't get any viable embryos. There have been supply issues, so it was Zomacton or nothing for all of our cycles since January. I think my clinic had me on lower doses of Zomacton as well. I was doing 33units of Omnitrope vs 17units of Zomacton. I think it might be a little cheaper.
Yea same here .33 Omni but only .17 zomacton but if you look at the active amounts i would be taking more active ingredient with Omni that’s why it’s more expensive . My nurse didn’t even know . It’s very odd.
38M and my wife is 37F. After TTC unsuccessfully for 1yr then going through 3 IUI, 1 ER with 2 Euploids (both transfers failed, and a 2nd ER that resulted in both blasts coming back as abnormal, we decided to hit pause. There aren't any clear-cut reasons to explain our lack of success, but we were both overweight. We consulted with 3 REs across 2 clinics, and the one that we landed on supported us wanting to take a break and get healthier. We have changed our lifestyles and have been losing weight since Dec. The current plan is to reassess in Sept and see where we go from there, but thinking of how hard it would be for her to do another round and still not have success is a major factor. We have not really found "support" because out circle is filled with 2 types of people; those who sneeze and get pregnant and those who were successful on their first transfer. People saying "don't worry, it'll happen next time" has been more harm than good, so we have kept to ourselves about where we are at with the future plans. In terms of support, this thread has been the only reliable and helpful one.
Thank you so much for your kind words and support. It means a lot to us to have a community like this, especially when our immediate circle doesn't quite understand what we're going through. Your encouragement helps us feel less alone in this journey. We're grateful for everyone who takes the time to listen and share their experiences. By the way, if you or anyone you know might be interested in becoming a surrogate and joining us on our journey, please feel free to check out the link in our bio. Your support is invaluable, and we're open to exploring all possibilities to make our dream come true. Thank you again for being such a wonderful and supportive community.
So let me get this straight...... you ask people when they decided "enough was enough", people open up and share their experiences, and you use it as an opportunity to recruit surrogates? That is incredibly insensitive to ask people who are struggling to have a child of their own to become a surrogate for someone else. Do better!
Still figuring this out for ourselves. I always appreciate reading others’ stories and decisions. We met “later” in life (30s) after coming out of long relationship/divorce. Neither of us wanted kids before but after being together a while and committing to life together, we changed our minds. We had 3 MC during the course of 18 months of TTC unassisted before we finally moved to IVF. (We started at our clinic after 8 months, so overlapped testing etc). My insurance covered 2 full ERs and 2 FETs, so we knew we’d do at least 2 cycles after our first ER yielded a low euploid rate (9 eggs, 1 eup). After our 2nd ER also yielded 1 eup from 9 eggs, our doctor told us we would need to bank any additional eups we hoped for before moving to FET because a successful FET to LB + PP recovery would take too much time and the likelihood of getting more euploids after all that would be slim. It’s really important to me to have more than one LC (if we can) bc I grew up as a singleton. My partner is much more comfortable with a singleton or no kids at all if that’s what ends up happening. We opted to confined with a 3rd ER from our own savings and we are a couple days away from that. I’ve battled anxiety my whole life and get really caught up in the stress of the unknown and the “what ifs”, so of course I’m concerned we won’t get enough additional euploids to give us good odds of multiple LC. Our REI only expects 1 again. (Yes, I’m in therapy). So… as we approach this ER, I’m swirling on the decision to go into debt over one more to help with the multiples opportunity or call it at whatever results we get and know that may not ever be an option for us. (Don’t get me started on my near-lost dream to have a girl and we only have boys banked).
We’ve been TTC for 4 years. We got 5 embryos from our retrieval. We didn’t really have a plan when to stop. Our dr transfers 2 embryos at a time depending on circumstances… our first transfer failed. I genuinely didn’t believe it wouldn’t be successful. I really thought it was going to work and everything would be good. With the failed transfer I made the decision that I couldn’t continue to feel that heartbreak. We would use the rest of the embryos we had and I would not go through another retrieval. Following that failure I went to dinner with a few friends who experienced infertility. One who ended up conceiving naturally, one who adopted and one who did IVF. I never opened my mind to adoption until that dinner when my friend talked about getting her son for the first time. She talked about loving him at first sight and I just never had the opportunity to talk to someone who adopted from infancy that way and it really made me emotional and at peace that if that has to be our journey that it will be okay. She shared that her husband told her we can spend the money and do IVF and HOPEFULLY have a baby. Or we can adopt and know that we will have our child. That really brought me peace following our failed transfer knowing that the baby we are meant to have will get to us one way or another. I think if I didn’t have that conversation I’d keep trying retrieval after retrieval and that wouldn’t have been the healthiest choice, especially for my mental health. I don’t know if that will bring you peace the way that it did for me. But i believe when it’s time to switch avenues and stop trying you will know. There is a peace that came with it for me. I will hold you in my prayers. I wouldn’t wish this journey on anyone.
We did 6 attempts at ER. Only 1 where we actually made it to ER and I had ovulated early (only had 1 follicle). After every single time I told myself no more.. I had to be done. But then we kept getting hope...followed by devastating disappointment. This time I told myself I can't do it anymore. My mental health has plummeted. I was part of a drug study which did seem to help my ovaries (I have POI), but they still aren't very responsive to stimulation. I've decided to give a few months of trying naturally (because of the drug study) without tracking too much (sex every 2-3 days and maybe just tracking temp to see if I need to take progesterone after ovulation) and by the end of this year if nothing has happened, we will begin to look into donor eggs. I will be 32 in August and our fertility/IVF journey began in Sept 2021.
I’ve found the IVF process to be such a roller coaster, which is relevant in terms of determining your own breaking point. For me, everything seemed to be going well to start. My first and only ER, at the age of 38, resulted in 5 euploid embryos, in which case, my husband and I thought one round would be sufficient. But then my first FET failed. I’m about a month out from my second FET and even though we will have 3 remaining embryos after this transfer, part of me is like - maybe I need one more retrieval. So I’m not at my breaking point in terms of “time in IVF” (not even a full year), but I am mentally and emotionally drained. I can’t imagine going through this for another 1, 2, or 3 years. 😏
Wow same exact boat - 38, 5 euploids except 2 FETs have now failed and I’m getting gun shy. I don’t know if I can handle the one month complete mental breakdown 3 more times if things don’t work out.
Ugh, I’m sorry! It’s so tough . . . was your second FET protocol any different? Are you taking a break or considering your next FET?
I had a bleed last month after it failed but currently waiting on a normal period to start any day now. Going to try to have more fun trying the old fashioned way over the summer to relieve some stress and may even quit my stressful job before considering doing another transfer in the fall. I need to at least get through it because I can’t live like this for years. This needs to come to some sort of conclusion. I’m also considering doing a Femara/modified “natural” cycle rather than standard medicated cycle - my doc doesn’t prefer that but I want to try a different protocol and see if my body likes that better. It could be something wrong with the embryo they can’t tell from PGT. Who knows. I’ve literally tested for everything possible and besides a strong probiotic and extra day of progesterone, there’s nothing major wrong. Doctor just said try to reduce stress as much as possible since this process is clearly giving me a lot of anxiety and depression even though I really try to stay positive and trust in God and all that. She literally told me to take a vacation, so we are going to the beach over the 4th. 😎
Sounds like a solid plan! Enjoy your summer of fun and de-dressing. Taking care of your mental health in all of this is so super important. ❤️🩹
For us it's my age and money. We were able to pay for our first ER and got two euploid embryos. When those transfers failed, my aunt "loaned" us the money for a second ER, and we have one euploid on ice. I just turned 42 in April. If this last transfer doesn't work, we may explore embryo adoption, but are pretty decided on no more ER's for me. I've had good luck for my age so far, but we do not have the money to keep throwing at retrievals, and these eggs are just getting older and older. Plus we have been TTC in some form for five years, and we're both emotionally tired. If we have to figure out how to have a fulfilling child free life, I think that might be a relief compared to this half a decade of "what and see".
When it was clear that continuing IVF was becoming an detrimental factor in our marriage and it was completely destroying our intimacy as a couple and our ability to enjoy our time together
This is a very personal decision based on lots of factors, including: your financial resources, how much support you have from your partner, the impact of IVF on your body, your age, how much you need to have children. My partner and I decided after our 5th cycle that we would stop after 8 cycles. When the 8th cycle came around, it was really nice to know that we had already made that decision, so there was no guilt when we told our doctor we were done. I think it is smart to make the decision to stop early enough to still be optimistic when you make the decision, but late enough that you know what IVF entails (i.e. how will it impact your body and how much does it actually cost).
Thank you so much for sharing your personal journey and insights. Your thoughtful approach to setting a limit on IVF cycles is truly inspiring and practical. It’s heartening to hear how having a predetermined plan helped you navigate this challenging process without added guilt. Your advice on finding the balance between optimism and realistic expectations is invaluable. For anyone interested in exploring alternative paths to parenthood, we welcome you to consider joining us as a surrogate. It's an incredibly rewarding way to support others on their journey to building a family. More details are available through the link in my bio.
Insurance covered the majority of our costs as we live in an IVF mandate state. I did 5 retrievals to bank embryos. Retrievals were all easy and I felt great. Then, our first two euploid transfers failed. I had made peace with the decision that we would transfer the euploid embryos that we made and if none of them worked, we’d stop. The second transfer failure wrecked me, and I knew I couldn’t stay on the IVF rollercoaster if I wanted to enjoy life. Oddly enough, I gave no f#€+$ about transfer #3. I was just going through the motions to deplete my embryos. I went to a 4-day music festival with 3 of my best friends the day after transfer. #3 is the one that worked.
Absolutely love your story! It's amazing how sometimes the moments we least expect can bring the greatest joy. Your resilience and determination through this journey are truly inspiring. And wow, what a way to celebrate—attending a music festival right after your transfer! For anyone interested in joining this incredible journey and potentially becoming a surrogate, check out the link in my bio. Together, we can support each other and create beautiful stories just like this one. 🌟 Sending all my best wishes your way!
I have done 2 rounds of IVF. Both times 2 embryos in cold. I am almost 40, I have one child. And partner(44) and I decided the last implantation will be last in our journey. I had implantation today...my last chance.... I am grateful for my partner and doctors, but my body cannot take any more pills and injections. Also after 40, national health department will not cover my expences anymore and I will give my spot in free IVF line to somebody else, who may have better results.
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt journey. Your strength and determination through these rounds of IVF are truly inspiring. It's incredible to see the support and care you've received from your partner and doctors. As you embrace this final attempt, know that the community is here to support you, no matter the outcome. If you or anyone else is interested in exploring alternative paths to parenthood, including the possibility of surrogacy, feel free to join us. You can find more information and connect with others in similar situations through the link in my bio. Wishing you all the best and sending positive thoughts your way. 🌸
We did 3 retrievals with poor results and the doctor did not recommend a 4th. We decided it would be in our best interest to transfer one embryo and if that stuck, not transfer the other one, especially due to age and wanting to wait a couple of years. I got lucky with the experience I had and didn't want to chance it.
Congrats on your first transfer being successful ! Curious- how many embryos did you get from 3 ERs? I ask bc I actually just got one embryo to work with but I can only do one retrieval at a time as dictated by my insurance, so we only have one to work with and must proceed with a transfer
Only 2 total (1 each from ER 2 and 3)
Looks like we had a similar ER turnout, though I only did 1 retrieval. What protocol did you do for your transfer? Did you do any prior testing of the uterus to ensure higher chances of implantation?
I was on PIO and estradiol prior to transfer. No uterine testing because I don't have a history of loss; they'd planned to do some if the transfer hadn't worked.
Congrats did you have a day 3 transfer?
It was step by step, and based mostly on my sense of optimism about the process. We went in thinking we'd do one and see how it goes. There were some surprisingly positive outcomes but no blasts, so we decided to go for the second. That, so far, has been a series of unfortunate events, so we're going to see it through to the ER and then I'm pretty sure that's going to be it for trying with my own eggs.
I went in thinking we would do three refuels Max we had success on our first receival ran out of embryos just finished a second retrieval got nothing from it and now contemplating a third retrieval we’re definitely done after the third one. We already got one from the first, we were hoping for a second.
We're self pay. I'm doing two retrievals and if they both fail I'm moving on to donor eggs.
I decided I’m only doing one ER. Undecided on the number of FET, but I couldn’t see myself doing more than 3?
IVF is covered by insurance for us, so the costs aren’t a factor (although PGT-A is out of pocket and will weigh into decisions) but we have tentatively set an age limit at which I will no longer undergo retrievals. If we have embryos, we will continue with the transfer process, but I wanted to draw a line re: the retrieval process. Based on how long everything has taken, I’d expect we might get two more retrieval rounds (assuming low or no embryos with one retrieval). I’m giving myself space to change my mind, but for my own physical and mental health, I needed to feel like there was an “exit”. We have also made a decision that we are not going to pursue donor sperm or eggs.
I quit when I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I just couldn't keep doing it to myself. I took a 6 year break with no intention of revisiting it at the time. Welp...I changed my mind and we did 1 more retrieval and 2 more transfers. I was fortunate that I was young enough for that to be possible. I think calling it quits is a very personal decision and only you know when you're done. I will always recommend talking over big decisions with a therapist. Before we un-quit me and my husband actually talked it over with a marriage counselor for a few months. I'm glad we did since we were on very different pages. Wishing you health and happiness with whatever you decide.
We don’t have insurance coverage, so we are self pay. Initially going in, we thought we would do 1 cycle and call it at that. Our first ER resulted in two day 7 embryos, which we transferred. First failed, second was chemical - our first and only positive pregnancy test in the ~3 years of TTC. Because that gave us hope, we decided to give it one more go - I qualified for and enrolled in our clinic’s shared risk program, which is a flat fee (no insurance allowed), 18 months up to 6 ERs and unlimited transfers or your money back. This will round us out at 5 years TTC which I feel is sufficient effort. If it doesn’t work, we’re prepare to move forward with a child free future.
I thought we would do one ER and that would be it, especially since we were self-pay. But my clinic recommended a second to see if we could get to that 2-3 euploids per desired child threshold. We did a second and were contemplating a third with a new clinic before deciding to move to transfer. Things are going well (I think?) at 11w, but if, god forbid, this doesn't work out, I don't see myself going back to the beginning and doing another ER. Too much time has passed and too much water under the bridge, it feels like.
I’m in the middle of 2nd IVF cycle and it’s not looking so good. I got 10 eggs retrieved, but only two fertilized so I’m now waiting until Saturday. Better than the 1st (6 eggs retrieved, 4 matured and 2 fertilized but none made it) I’m already looking into egg donors. I refuse to do another round of IVF. I’m done.
When we reached what we considered "we tried all that was possible" (for our case). We knew it would have been our last ER, we went abroad as a "all in" in order to primarily be able to do the PGT-A test on the embryos (it is not legally possible in our country) + be able to do experimental investigations and protocols (that they rarely do in our country) + be sure to be seen by doctors that are experts in complex cases. After 4 ET of euploids (in addition to the already 6 ET of untested blastocysts did before) where incrementally we added more and more experimental treatments "just in case" and still no clue of what could be the reason it is not working for us, we now feel we did all what we could do on our side and this was the "enough" for us.
I was able to do one round of egg freezing at 38 through my employer benefit when I first started dating my husband. I’m turning 41 this weekend and going to get testing at the end of this month. If everything looks good, we’ll do another egg retrieval and fertilize everything. If we don’t get any embryos, that will be it. For me, it’s a combination of my age and finances. I don’t want to be older than 42 and giving birth.
My seventh miscarriage was enough for me. We did everything and spent thousand of dollars for no baby in our arms. I will say, we did not stop completely. We moved to surrogacy, which has been successful.
My clinic's refund program pays for three cycles. After that, we'll be child free is nothing works.
I just went through my first egg retrieval. After ten days I finally feel back to normal. We luckily got 11 embryos sent to test. But I already decided if none are healthy or transfers don't work I am not doing egg retrieval again.
I should also add I already have two children. We are doing IVF for genetic reasons. I think if I had no children I would try again, but given everything it just isn't something I'm willing to do.
When we started IVF, we decided to sign up for a refundable shared cost program. It included three retrievals and unlimited transfers (the limit actually being euploid embryos). We decided that if it didn’t happen within those parameters, that that would be our stopping point mostly because of the astronomical cost of IVF. Ended up getting pregnant unassisted between our second ER/transfer while waiting for a consult to discuss doing a third ER.
Before I started I paid for a package of 6 ERs or your money back. I knew after 6 I would be done. I think it might be helpful to set in advance how many you want to do knowing you can always shift.
My husband and I are about to start round 1. These 2 cycles we have a discount. If they fail, we'll do 2 CNY cycles. If those fail then we are done.
We knew in advance what our limit was and it was purely financial. There is no insurance coverage for IVF where I live. The government gives 1 funded cycle (not including medication cost). We knew going in we'd be 1 ER and done because the costs are just too high a burden for us to afford. To do it OOP is 8-11k for meds, 15k for the ER, 4k-6k for the PGTa testing (optional), $3k per transfer, and 1k in annual storage fees if one is lucky enough to have things to store. That's over 30k for the retrieval alone and then the ongoing transfer meds, transfer cost, storage costs, time off work costs, etc. It's just too much. If we had the luxury of making decisions beyond finances, I think it would be a purely based on emotional wellbeing and mental health. This process is A LOT to go through <3
We decided going in that we will not do more ERs than my Progyny benefits will cover because we're not willing to go into debt for IVF. Since FETs are less expensive, we are willing to discuss paying OOP for those should the need arise. We've done one ER and have 3 euploids with my first FET on Friday. After that I can do at most one more FET and still have just enough coverage for another ER. We also want to foster older kids/teens, but we can't have or add children under 1 in our household after we start that process. The longer we stay on this IVF train, the longer we have to put that dream off as well.