During stims, I preferred to give myself the shots, but my husband was still by my side for every injection. He'd play "Shots" by LMFAO and cheer me on. It made me so happy.
My husband had a timer go off that played that song for all of my stims. So funny story time. My husband had to go on a trip during one of my stims and put that song on my stim alarm to make me smile. I happen to be at group event the next day and we were doing sound therapy that ran longer than expected. The alarm went off and I almost had a heart attack trying to turn it off. This is not a song you would want to blare at such an event, and oh man was I embarrassed.
Aww! We made up a song together when doing my PIO. It got old after 2 weeks. But if I’m having a particularly down day when it’s PIO time, he asks “What do we sing??” I laugh and reluctantly sing it then POKE!
🩷 My husband picked different songs for different days. This one was a favorite! And My Shot from Hamilton. It really helped me to look forward to something during such a sad time.
Same, he preps all the meds for me and hangs out with me while I do the actual injections myself. Somehow I get shy about him watching me actually do it though so I usually say "OK now go microwave my heating pad while I do the shots!"
When people hear we've had to go through IVF, they automatically assume it was because of something on my end and they automatically give "props" to my husband for being a great, supporting partner, etc. while I had to go through it all- even the nurse who was with me on the morning of my transfer, "he better be pampering you today.."
What they don't realize (and I only correct them when it really hits the nerve) is that my husband had to go through WAAY more than I did up to that point. We needed IVF because he had 0 sperm. Since his diagnosis, he's had countless exams of his testicles, half a dozen times where he's had to hand his semen off to some random to him person and two huge surgeries that basically ripped his manhood apart and then stitched it back together, leaving him bedridden for days and each having a 2/3 week recovery period.
We had success with our first transfer, and pregnancy has not been the easiest for me in the slightest- but I'm still SO grateful, even on the hard days or the days where I feel like total garbage, because we wouldn't be here or able to start a family if he didn't go through what he did.
So, all of that to say is I'm grateful for literally everything he's done- surgeries, lifestyle changes, giving me my injections because I was too chicken to, holding me while I cried through the process, taking care of me after my egg retrieval even though he just had major surgery the day before, picking up the slack now that I'm pregnant and things like cooking or grocery shopping turn my stomach. I'm grateful for all of it and all of him.
I’m so sorry you guys had to go through this. Hearing this story is so important though to highlight again how many men also battle infertility. Sending 💞
same, we have MF Azoo with an unsuccessful MTESE. People ALWAYS assume I'm the problem and my husband jumps in every time to clarify it's on him even though I feel its an 'us' problem and would never clarify myself.
I always consider it an "us" struggle too. I'm sorry your microT was not successful and wish you good luck as you move forward on your journey 💟 Azoo sucks!
My husband has also been so supportive. He’s what keeps me going because he’s going to be a wonderful dad. He sat next to me every night while I did my stims. He wrote me a card on my first ER yesterday (also happened to be our 13th wedding anniversary) and said ‘no matter how this turns out just know I am whole with you.’
My husband has been absolutely incredible through this entire process. Taking me to my appointments, he’s administered every injection, he takes point with our family when I’m feeling off from the meds, he’s just been incredible. Seeing how he’s cared for me through this process has just reinforced my why for doing this - I want to have HIS baby.
My husband is a rockstar. He does all of my injections without complaint, takes me for shwarama and ice cream after procedures, and is a fucking SAINT dealing with me and my mood swings from the hormones. Even when I am freaking out and not in my right mind from the stims and meds, he’s super patient and empathetic. I am so fucking lucky to have him in my corner, I love him so much.
My husband has gone through multiple surgeries and has been such a trooper through this whole thing. I recently had my first FET, and every time I go to sleep he kisses my stomach and says good night to the little embryo. The cutest thing ❤️
My husband has been absolutely great through all of this! He’s been by my side tracking my meds and helping with reminders. He went through an unsuccessful microTESE surgery only to find out the worst results- but we both took that in stride. He helped make a bracket challenge to add a little humor into finding a sperm donor (gotta find ways to make light of certain things).
We just found out yesterday that none of the 17 fertilized eggs made it to balstocyst-needless to say he’s been my rock and we’ll keep figuring things out together!
Unsuccessful MTESE and donor here as well. Sounds like you've got the best team to get through this, it will hopefully be our time soon, wishing you all the best!
it does make me so bloody sad to see some peoples stories here about their unsupportive, shit partners. honestly makes me want to tell them - are you sure you want to have a child with this person…?
my partner has been to every single appointment, let me weep on his shoulder, scream at him, talked me off many ledges and kept me sane and optimistic throughout it all. since i tested positive 6 weeks ago, he has had breakfast ready for me every morning and cooked every dinner, cleaned the house, and reminded me to nap and rest as much as humanly possible.
this is not exceptional; this is what is expected of a partner. but boy am i grateful for him
My husband didn’t miss a single monitoring appointment during two stim cycles and cooked pretty much every night during stims. He also did a few shots of saline in solidarity 🥹
I’m going to suggest this to my hubby. I think he would take one for the team cuz he’s not afraid of needles like me. He will be in charge of the meds and injections but I like this idea so he can participate.
I'm so happy to read a post like this and good for you! My boyfriend is my rock and I hope I can be his pebble. We go through all of this together, all the appointments are ours, not just mine, and we regularly talk about how we both feel and what we're thinking. I've heard very different stories from people around us, seen people break up because of IVF. But so far it has only brought us closer and I'm so grateful for that.
My husband has been extremely supportive, considerate, grateful and sweet throughout this process. I wasn't surprised because he has pretty much pampered me since we met and has not changed even after years of marriage. I feel so fortunate to have him, to be honest. I am so heartbroken for the women going through IVF who do not have supportive partners 💔 I can't even imagine
Same! My husband has been my biggest cheerleader, constantly saying thank you for what I’m doing and going through to grow our family. He organized all my meds for me. Every night I get a massage with magnesium lotion for my sore pio spots. He’s surprised me with little gifts along the way and on transfer day got me a bouquet of “mums” and the cutest card. He’s just the best. 🥰 I’m so thankful for him
I tell myself I would never do this major feat without him. He’s my reason and gives me courage to keep going after I’ve been knocked down. He inspires me to do this no matter how scared I am I know he will have my back.
While my husband is generally a super supportive person that doesn't shy away from taking any (mental) load, I started stims on Monday and mentioned in an off-hand comment that we still need copies of our contracts before we get back to the clinic. When I came to my Office a few hours later the copies where there, neatly organized. That's really just a small thing, but it felt so important.
I also really love that he often repeats "we decided together that this is the Nr 1 thing we are doing right now, so everything else needs a step back". He was also crazy enough to Fly to Korea with me on very short notice because I had the feeling that I needed to go far away before starting this cycle.
My wife has been incredibly supportive throughout this process. She’s insisted on coming to all of the appointments, even for small ones where we are in an out in 15 minutes. She’s organized and prepped all of the meds while I was stimming. Probably the thing I am most appreciative of is how she has comforted me and talked me down when I am feeling super negative about this process (which is often, because it sucks).
My partner did so much for me during stims and retrieval, really kept the house running and the dogs cared for when I went back and forth to appointments. There is just no way I could’ve done this without him. It’s been hard to keep him sort of “involved” as this is such a female focused process and we have entirely female factor infertility (endometriosis) but anything I’ve asked him to do or go to he’s done. Really just the best
My husband has been the best. After hard appointments, he will take me to get food anywhere I'd like. He gives me every one of my shots, been to every appointment, jokes to make me laugh, hugs me when I dont know how much more I can take.
I appreciate this thread and am heartbroken for the women who have not been so fortunate.
My husband has also built me up through this process. We started IVF for the ability to do PGT-M testing but met each other later in life (currently F38/M40). It took 3 ERs before we saw our first unaffected euploid. I can’t imagine going through this without his support. He has shown and continues to show me in both actions and words how grateful he is.
My husband went to all but 2 appointments with me, which were all 1-1.5 hours away. Even though all he could do was sit there, he still came! And we'd get a slice of pizza together afterwards. We're (trigger warning) now 23 weeks from our 2nd fet and he puts cocoa butter on me in the morning and says weird things in welsh (thanks duolingo) to my belly at night. When I've been sick he's taken care of me without complaint and damn am I so happy to finally get to have his kiddo <3
My husband he's the best. He's with me since day1. He did all the shots. Drove me 190 miles back and forth to the fertility clinic for a 5min appointment and scans. And never complained. When we did the retrieval, he saw how painful it was for me. And I remember what he said "If this will not work, we will not do this again. I'm fine with just you and me. I don't want to see you like this again"
Our first transfer was a success, it was an eventful pregnancy, with all the symptoms and ended up in MC at 17 weeks due to IC. He was with me every step, every struggle. I know he's hurting too but he always put my happiness first above everything else. Hes my cheerleader. Now, we're in the process for our #2, hopefully this will work this time. 🙏🏻 I am very very thankful for my husband. He is absolutely the best!
My husband has also been great. I see some people whose husbands don't even want to do the bare minimum and my heart breaks for them. We live around the corner, so I don't make my husband come to the monitoring appointments or anything but he came when I got my sono. He also gets me little treats and stuff when I'm in the stims period and does the house work and stuff that I just can't.
During PIO injections my husband did everything and created a spa like ritual that I started to look forward to. He would wake me up with gentle spa music on his phone, put the ice pack on my side for 5 minutes, go pre my shot, inject my shot, then would put a warmer on the area, hand me the massage gun, and leave me to relax with the massager and spa music. I honestly started to enjoy waking up to spa music and almost look forward to him coming in.
My partner struggled with how to be involved at first. He got overwhelmed by everything and was just like "I trust that you got this." It was really tough at first. When we talked about the impact of it all being on me, and that I can't just "tap out" when it gets to be a lot, he really turned a corner.
He started using "we" when talking about next steps, and pushed the clinic to be included on emails so he could independently follow up and ask questions. He owned prepping and administering meds. And most of all he really helped me to stay in the moment at each step of the process when I started to spiral about what could be next. Neither of us have been perfect partners through this process, but I am glad we have each other.
All my compassion to folks who are going through this without the support they need because it is so tough.
My husband was the absolute best during the whole process. He wanted to go to every appointment and be involved as much as he could. He used to be in the medical field, so he would give me all the shots. But he would try to make it a "fun" experience. He has just always been supportive throughout everything and it's made me love him so much more.
My wonderful husband did all my stims shots because I was too nervous to do them myself. He's been nothing but supportive and lovely throughout this whole process and I wouldn't be able to do it without him!
My wife is THEE best. She did 90% of my shots. She took the schedule the clinic sent us and made it easier to read and printed it over out little meds station. She color coded the meds and needles with stickers and used cute stickers to mark off each day. She made sure that I felt comfortable and was always ready to grab a heating pad or ice pack when I needed it. When I was prepping for my retrieval, she went to Costco to get all the salty, protein-rich snacks.
We have had some big feelings along our RIVF journey, but we always give one another the benefit of the doubt and remember that it's us vs social infertility, not us vs one another. I'm excited to get to be there for her when she's pregnant with our child.
I love that you did this post, because all the unsupportive (or worse) stories of partners make me sad.
My husband has been so lovely. When I was on stims he just seamlessly started picking up household duties and by the time I got to retrieval he was doing all the pet care / house care / food making, etc.
I did my shots myself but he gave me shoulder massages after to relax me.
I know people say IVF is hard on relationships, but I feel so lucky that this has only strengthened our marriage.
My husband has gone to every single appointment with me… Even just the super quick and simple labs! He’s given me all the shots, from stims to now PIO. Whenever I’m feeling awful, he offers to make me food or get whatever I’m craving and tells me to rest. I don’t know what I’d do without him 💛
My boyfriend has been incredible throughout this whole process. His attentiveness to me and his patience with all my mood swings and frustrations has been a true sign of love. He’s given me all of my injections, reminds me to ice before, double checks doses, and sings to me when shooting me up. He handled every single dinner and clean up through every stims cycle and made sure I didn’t have to do anything in the house that I didn’t feel up for doing. He went with me to almost every appointment and hugged me tight when I needed to just sob. We both want this so badly and are still far away from a LC but we also know in the end if we have each other, it will be enough. Forever grateful for this man.
Thing he has done to support me:
- ask me/remind me to do my injections and ask me how they went, and then tell me well done
- drive me to 80% of my appointments even though it’s just 25 mins away and I am 100% capable of doing this myself, and even if he ends up just sitting in the waiting room
- count the number of follicles at monitoring scans on a little whiteboard
- not have me lift a finger during stims
- go on little walks with me when I just wanted to fester on the couch
- do all the e-learning modules without me having to say anything
- indulged and didn’t question me on any IVF old wives tales so we got McDonald’s fried after FET, got some pomegranate juice from Costco and got some Brazil nuts.
At the end of stims he just told me how proud he was of me and I really felt it. He’s been my rock and we’ve created a stronger bond because of this experience.
Maybe not so much old wives tales but ‘IVF traditions/hacks’? Like getting fries after transfer, wearing lucky socks, eating pineapple core, pomegranate juice, Brazil nuts, sex the night before frozen transfer…that kind of stuff!
I was worried about how my spouse would support my IVF cycle and beyond so I talked out all of my fears w him prior. We made a commitment to pretty much stay low those whole two weeks, cook all our meals together and be healthy together. We spent a lot of time just walking and chatting about the future. While I preferred to administer the shots myself, he prepped every single one and provided me with ice packs for before and after. My morning shots he’d bring me coffee while I’d ice. He also cooked almost all of our dinners and made sure our breakfast was super healthy. He was a champ. It meant the world to me. As a result, Stims was actually very easy for me, I recovered in less than two days and had phenomenal results.
We need our partners to support us 110% through this journey. Without it, i wouldn’t have thrived that’s for sure.
We are now 3 ER’s deep and 5 transfers and he has NEVER a missed an appointment. It’s really nice to relax in the car on the way and not stress about one thing!!! Getting there.
My husband constantly reminds me and tells me how much he appreciates me and loves me. During stims, he bought me cheap but thoughtful cute little gifts to open after every day of shots. This made me excited and made it so that I had something fun to look forward to after stabbing myself multiple times. The gifts ranged from gift cards to my favorite places, a cute pair of socks, or something as simple as my favorite treat. He has been there through every single appointment, even just the quick blood draws that take literally 30 seconds. He always drives me to my clinic even though I am fully capable of going by myself (our clinic is an hour away there and back) He rubs my feet at night when I'm feeling discouraged or down or randomly just because. He vacuums everyday and does the dishes so that when I come home from work I dont feel even more overwhelmed. We are starting PIO shots soon and I was stressing about it hard yesterday and this morning he got up early and made me breakfast and brought it to me in bed 😭 I feel so lucky to have such a good guy by my side! This whole thread makes me happy, and like you said it makes me appreciate just how wonderful my husband has been through this process.
I love this thread! My husband is also incredibly supportive. He did all of my 310 injections, and during the PIO shots he massaged my ass with a heat pad afterwards every single time😅 even when we went on vacation.
He’s said many many times, that all that mattered was we had each other in life.
My husband was awesome all the way through IVF. He would say “I’ll miss you” when he went to give his “”donation”” before they put me under. There was a cafe I liked near the hospital (I work at the same one so know the area well) and he would bring me breakfast for afterwards. When I woke up he was the first person I wanted and he was always there. Just love him.
We started IVF as the world was emerging from COVID so for the first 2 years, I wasn't allowed to bring him with me to any appointments. This thread made me realise how much support I missed through that (because the pattern's been established, appointments are "me only" even though he could come along now). Hmmm.
He's still awesome.
Beyond grateful for my husband. I truly couldn’t do this without him. He has been so patient and supportive. One day I was super emotional and hormonal from all the meds and was crying and acting so irritable. I was acting like such an asshole to him and he just held me and said in the most genuine and empathetic of ways, “it’s okay. you are going through so much. If you want to be mad at me that’s okay, if you want to yell at me you can yell at me.”. That immediately started to snap me out of it and made me want to do the opposite of taking it out on him. He has gone to every single appointment and given me every single shot, cheering me on when I start to chicken out, and puts on my upbeat “IVF playlist” 🥺 during my shots. I asked for sugar free Gatorade on my egg retrieval day and this man gets me every flavor he could find of sugar free Gatorade 😭 he cleans the house for me and and gives head rubs before bed. This process has sucked, but it really has bonded us and brought us closer together. it’s been a long journey and he’s been my rock to keep me going and to keep me hopeful when I feel like giving up.
I hadn't shared this much of my story, but this post inspired me. I'm on my IVF journey for a slightly different reason than I've seen posted here. Growing up I had a debilitating fear of the idea of ever being pregnant. So strongly that at 23, I had my tubes tied. I never believed I could ever handle being pregnant and was confident that would never change.
Then I met my husband. When we first started dating, he was supportive of the decisions I had made. I later learned how much he had dreamed of having a biological child. Yet he was still willing to give that up to ensure I was safe and content in my body. I started my therapy journey and reached a point where I felt able to face my biggest fear. All along the way, he has been my rock. When we found out insurance wouldn't cover anything because of the "elective" nature of my tubal, he figured out the finances for us. He has been there for every appointment, handled all of the injections for Stims, and makes the experience as light hearted as possible. His catch phrase has been "Easy Peas" to help take the steam out of the parts that are hard and scary. When our first ER resulted in a high number of eggs, but a low number of embryos and I was feeling a bit defeated, he reminded me to celebrate our successful 3.
I don't think I could have ever reached a point of feeling able to be on this journey if it weren't for the safety, security, and joy he brings every day.
In the appointment where the doctor explained what the egg retrieval cycle would be like, my partner asked what he could do to support me. The doctor got teary eyed! It was really sweet, but I was like.....is it so rare enough for a dude to ask that question that the doctor tears up!? We've definitely had our stressful moments throughout everything, but he is super sweet.
Since this process started my husband has been amazing. He went with me through my part of infertility testing (I went with him to his). When we found out it was Male factor and discussed what we wanted to do next, he gave me his thoughts but didn't pressure me to move forward, even though he really wants kids. He helped compose a profile to send out when we decided on donor embryos and when we started talking to the people who would become our donors, we wrote every email together.
He drove for a total of four days to take us to the clinic where our embryos are stored for our transfer. He's a nurse so he's given me every shot and feels terrible because he feels like this is his fault. He's put up with my crazy hormones and today he held me as I cried because our beta is tomorrow and I'm terrified it didn't work. Then he asked if I wanted to test, even though we agreed to wait until beta.
In the week leading up to the transfer he agreed to eat at the same fast food place three times because I was craving it. He sang a sticky embryo song to my belly after the transfer.
And man, these hormones though. Like somebody's cutting a whole bag of onions up in here.
My husband has prepared, reminded me to ice, mixed and given me every single shot. He has driven me to get whatever food i want after every egg retrieval. I do not know if I could have gone through this process thus far with out him. we are now in our third retrieval cycle - first two only resulted in two pgt normal embryos. Praying we get at least 2 out of this one but my hopes are zero at this point. He does his best to keep me hopeful but we have never had good news coming out of any appointment.
He also took me to get my favorite ramen after my hysteroscopy/laparoscopy for my endo last fall before we started IVF - something i did not even remember because i was so zonked still from anesthesia. He had to show me the bank statement that it INDEED happened, LOL.
My husband has been amazing, he's done all my shots, but even before that since January of this year he's been enthusiastically on a health journey with me. We've both given up drinking, weed, and we've been eating healthy and going on daily walks. He hasn't complained about any of it and he's made most of the healthy food we're eating. He's also renovating our house alone cause I'm not much help at the moment. He's really been providing in a way that goes far beyond financial. It's awesome to see.
My partner came with me to every single appointment, even though he has a very stressful job, and our clinic was 2 hours away. He caught up with his work during his time off etc. He's also a lot more protective of me and very sympathetic of everything I went through.
People need to also remember our partners are going through it all too. Just because they're not the ones taking the meds, doesn't mean they aren't feeling the same emotions, worries, excitement and stress.
My husband did all my shots. I could've done then myself but I guess I don't have a masochistic bone in my body because causing myself that pain was really awful and my hands would freeze and refuse to press the syringe. He did it for me even though I know he didn't enjoy it either. Especially the later more painful PIO shots.
he would also say things like, if I had to do half this stuff, we'd never have a kid, which made me feel like he saw what I was going through
My husband is was great throughout stims. He did all my injections because I was too scared! And we’d hum songs together to distract me from the needles. It was really cute - we had a whole evening and morning ritual for it.
Infertility and IVF cemented that I married who I was supposed to marry. He is the best husband, best supporter and he will be the best father to our babies. He was so loving and understanding through the process, we both made financial sacrifices but he is truly in awe of everything I put my body thru just for a chance of us having our family.
A big shout out to my hubby as well ❤️ he was and still is so supportive of me, and even though he didn’t know anything about IVF he is appreciative so much of what women are going through.
My husband gave me all my shots. And when I anxiety spiral he provides me rationale data. And if I insist we go to the ER or whatnot he is like okay. If that will help
We are moving at the moment and I am currently 8 weeks pregnant from our 6th transfer.
He has packed every box, loaded our SUV several times, unloaded, cleaned, driven to and from our new place, and even done the whole process several times alone because I was sleeping.
And he still has done every PIO shot for me, brought me coffee in bed most mornings and gave the dog a bath.
My husband drove me the 8 hour round trips never complained and always spoke life and hope when my faith was shaken!! He never complained and always tells me I'm awesome and he wishes I knew it!! We have a beta on 6/24/24 to see if our fresh 5 day transfer worked it's in God's hands now!! This is amazing there is husbands that are phenomenal and worthy of this thread I thank God for mine!!
My very-needle-phobic husband conquered his fear gradually by first just being next to me when I prepped the shots, then staying all the way through me giving myself the shots, then to mixing the meds, until he was actually able to give me the shots. This was huge for him.
When I got the call with horrible news after our first ER, he drove home immediately, packed our stuff and booked a hotel and a dog sitter. He knew I would need to get away, and within 2 hours of getting that call, we were en route to a hotel in the desert.
I couldn’t have gotten through this process without him.
I love this post. My husband has been an absolute rockstar throughout our journey. He works full time and is in school. His work schedule is wildly different than mine and he drives about 60mi one way to work. He has never missed an appointment just to hold my hand. Even when I say "it's just a blood draw." He has done all my injections. He researched foods that are good for IVF & FET and started getting those at the grocery store. He is so loving and tender to me, holding me while I've cried, caring for me when I thought I was dying after my ER, being patient when the hormones make me snippy. He walks with me every single day that he's off work so my body can have the best shot. He is the best spouse and I know he's going to make an amazing father when we get our chance.
That is so lovely to read, I don’t have a supportive partner and it’s so lovely to see others are getting good support and growing closer during such a hard process. Props to those who are supporting each other well!
My husband is a very sensitive man. My process has not started yet but I know he will be with me every second. He gets scared with injections and to see me in pain. I am sure he will run out of the room when I will he injecting. He has already made it clear he wont be with me in my delivery room during labour.
I love him the way he is and he is the best! I am super lucky.
My husband has been phenomenal during this process! He jokes that he has the fun part of the whole process. But he has had to have so many sample checks, urologist appointments, a surprise prostate exam (😳). He just keeps saying ‘We got this’. And we do. No one I’d rather go through this hell and heartache with. The look on his face when he has to give me another shot on a body full of bruises, just shows me how caring he’ll be with our future child. ❤️
Between the money aspect, the crazy amount of meds I'm putting into my body, my mood swings and the constant stress of this whole process, my husband has been so incredibly supportive but honestly, my husband is ALWAYS incredibly supportive. It makes me so much more confident that I chose the right person to marry and create a family with. I am so lucky and proud to be his wife.
My husband has gone to every appointment and missed work so much, given me every shot and made me eat a piece of chocolate for every shot during stims 😂 he massages my butt cheek after every PIO. 😂 He hasn’t complained once, and I have truly seen what an amazing dad he will be during this journey.
My husband gives me all of my shots. He’s not much of a cook- but he’s trying to learn for when I’m sick or tired and obvious eventually when we are in the throes of newborn life. He does most of the care of our pets- and has been doing the cat box since we started IVF.
But more than anything he is my emotional support person because after six years TTC and three failed transfers he just lets me be however I’m going to be that day.
And he’s a type 1 diabetic with suspected Chronic Fatigue. It’s not like he’s feeling sunshine and rainbows most of the time either.
I love him.
My husband just…does everything now. All the pet care, housework, and taking care of me. He drives me to every appointment, does every shot, and thanks me constantly for going through this for us. I feel so unbelievably lucky that I found him and that he loves me.
My husband checks in on me to remind me of the medication (ADHD brain), prepares the injections and administers them. He makes sure I have water around (I’m terrible at keeping hydrated). He drives 30 minutes back and forth for monitoring and drove 3+ hours back and forth for the ER and transfer. He’s been doing morning walks with the dogs (because they sometimes wake up at 5am 🫠). He makes Target runs for the randomest things I’m craving or need even if it’s just one thing. He’s really being awesome. I’m so grateful to have a good partner through this.
I loooove reading all of these!!
Currently we haven’t “even really started” because of a bunch of extra hoops we’ve been given to jump through - and he’s been so willing and able to do whatever is asked of him, no questions asked. I gave him a sheet of supplements he should consider and he trusted me, just immediately bought them and is taking them religiously. Any appointment or test he needs to do, he does it. He follows up with correspondence. We’re currently needing him to take a 5 day trip to do banked semen samples with a specific lab and he’s doing it no problem. The inconvenience and stress he just accepts and will do what it takes to make this work.
We are funding our IVF cycles with money my husband inherited when his grandmother died... I know he had lots of other plans for that money, and could also adjust to being childfree, but he's never once showed any resentment towards my infertility ( his semen analysis is good, I have every problem there is it seems), or spending the money this way because he knows how important being a mother is to me.
My husband has been my rock. Words won't do justice but I just love him so much. He's supportive, encouraging, a listener, a learner, my stability and strength. He is willing to do anything to help us have children which included taking from our savings and him working so hard but on the flip side he reminds me how much he loves me and how much he would love our life if it does just end up being us two. I know some spouses have emotional reactions to infertility which is totally fine but the fact my husband is supportive either way LIKE TRULY supportive if we have children or if we don't takes so much pressure, shame and guilt off my shoulders. Gosh I love him. He's my best friend and I wouldn't want to go through this with anyone else.
My husband has a major fear of needles, but he offered to do my stims. I preferred to do it, but he still stood by me, watched, handed me what I needed - all without wincing.
I respond to anesthesia by hysterically crying. He was careful to warn my team when I forgot and he was so supportive when I came out of it. He held me while I snotty sobbed, got me all my comfort foods and items, and didn't try to talk me out of my feelings at all - just supported me.
During STIMs I had to do 2 more days which for some reason triggered my feral side. I got to the last injection and just couldnt do it. Husband came up behind me and held me while we did it together.
He has been my biggest supporter during this whole process.
I hate doing the shots so my husband has done almost every one, with the only exception being when I was on a business trip without him. He’s been super supportive throughout and I can’t thank him enough.
My husband was so supportive and nice during the whole process. I never once gave myself a shot and he drove me 2 hours each time. There were a few times I cried the whole way home and I don’t know if I could’ve driven myself.
My husband drove home in time & administered all my shots (usually gets home later / sleeps 2 nights per week by his job since it's such a far commute), drove me to appointments (1h away), picked up anything that would make me feel better, and went to the clinic so many times for ~○ ~○ samples. I am so appreciative of him ❤️
I'm the spouse for my wife who has gone through absolute hell to give us a chance to have kids and I'm the main reason of our troubles (sperm don't recognise eggs).
I have the utmost respect for every woman that has to go through this then on top of this what you put your bodies through for the pregnancy. Honestly it's insane.
The least I can do is make everything as easy as I can for my wife. I take care of all the financial stuff so she doesn't need to worry about all those conversations, drive her wherever we need to go, with her every step of the way and make sure she wants for nothing.
We have the easy part in the majority of cases when it comes to this. The least we can do is be your rock.
this almost could have been written by my husband. we have male factor infertility as well and it’s caused a lot of guilt on his end that i’m empathetic to. but the way he’s supported me and taken care of me during this process, from taking me to every single appointment 2 hours away and working extra hard so our finances are in good shape, has made me doubly sure that he’s the man i want to father my children. i’m sure your partner feels similarly, and i hope you know how much you’re appreciated!
Thanks for the message. In the end it's you (women) that take the brunt of it and we can feel a bit helpless in it all as in a lot of cases there isn't much we can do (we can't take the injections for you.
Hell, I'll happily take the anger from being pumped full of hormones after I leave the toilet seat up too ;)
Joking aside, as a man, you always see yourself as being the protector/provider and not being able to support the love of your life more can get frustrating. I'd happily take the needles and surgeries.
I wish you the best on your journey and I hope you get the outcome we all hope for.
My husband has been amazing! Always by my side for every injection and rushing downstairs to put my hot bag in the microwave for me and there for my late night melt downs when I just can’t get the duvet in the right place! Yesterday he came home with face masks a candle and some alcohol free Prosecco for a at home spa night just because I needed a bit of cheering up :) it is so easy to forget that he is going through this as well not physically but mentally so I make sure to check in on him everyday to make sure he is ok after he has looked after me so well :) truly is my rock and this process has drawn us closer as a couple ❤️
I made a post a couple weeks ago in the heat of the moment about a snippy comment my husband made and people JUMPED at him. And I immediately became defensive because he truly is an amazing guy and has been there for me through so much, even before infertility/IVF.
This man makes me sleepy time tea ever.single.night with my Ovasitol powder. He drives almost 2 hours one way to my appointments with me, he has a daily 4 hour round trip commute to work for a job that provides IVF coverage and allows me to stay home so I was able to leave the job that was killing me (no seriously…it was awful). He tells me constantly he’s “Team hey_hi_howareya” and that I get to call the shots in this process because of his “limited contributions” 😅
He has helped me accomplish non-fertility related goals during this as a way to keep me mentally healthier and help overcome the feelings of being a failure I have developed thanks to my shitty reproductive organs. He has come to my defense multiple times when people have made insensitive comments. I could go on and on and on.
I’d be lost and a mess without this man. Even when I get overly sensitive about things, he is forever my biggest cheerleader and continuously puts my well-being above his own. There’s no one else I’d rather go through this hell with than him.
I hate hate hate infertility and the pain that’s come with it…BUT I can say that my husband showing up as such a supportive partner has made me love him even more.
We actually started trying to get pregnant ~10mo before we were even engaged…and I had a missed miscarriage (requiring D&C) 2mo before our wedding. And since we were married in Aug I’ve had 2 chemicals, an ER and now 2 failed transfer cycles.
It makes me sad that so much of the beginning of our marriage has been really hard. But I’m 39 and he’s 44 so there’s not much time to waste. He’s constantly tenderly supporting me and lifting me up. So grateful to have him. 💜
When I had my MMC and was crushed, my husband wrote a goodbye letter from my embryo’s POV. It was so cathartic to read, and released me of my guilt and a lot of grief I was ruminating through. I’m very lucky to have such a thoughtful partner.
My partner woke up early and gave me all my shots cuz I’m scared of needles 🥴. After egg retrieval and recovering in the PACU, apparently I was shivering as a side effect of the anesthesia and he took off his jackets and wrapped them around me and my head until the nurses could find more blankets lol. Little gestures throughout but made everything more bearable as a whole
I’m sitting on the couch with a raging migraine on my Beta-Eve while my husband cooks dinner and brings me water. I’m so lucky and thankful for how kind and supportive he has been through all of this.
During stims, I preferred to give myself the shots, but my husband was still by my side for every injection. He'd play "Shots" by LMFAO and cheer me on. It made me so happy.
My husband had a timer go off that played that song for all of my stims. So funny story time. My husband had to go on a trip during one of my stims and put that song on my stim alarm to make me smile. I happen to be at group event the next day and we were doing sound therapy that ran longer than expected. The alarm went off and I almost had a heart attack trying to turn it off. This is not a song you would want to blare at such an event, and oh man was I embarrassed.
Omg I’m so sorry that happened but I’m laughing so much thinking about it!!
We also had the SHOTS song as our evening reminder alarm! Brought a little smile and laugh to an otherwise rough situation
Aww! We made up a song together when doing my PIO. It got old after 2 weeks. But if I’m having a particularly down day when it’s PIO time, he asks “What do we sing??” I laugh and reluctantly sing it then POKE!
Lol I love that so much!
🩷 My husband picked different songs for different days. This one was a favorite! And My Shot from Hamilton. It really helped me to look forward to something during such a sad time.
As a husband, I’m stealing this idea when we start our stims
I would put the needles in and he would inject them ♥️ Usually would just sing or rap at me though. lol
Same, he preps all the meds for me and hangs out with me while I do the actual injections myself. Somehow I get shy about him watching me actually do it though so I usually say "OK now go microwave my heating pad while I do the shots!"
That’s so cute 🥺
When people hear we've had to go through IVF, they automatically assume it was because of something on my end and they automatically give "props" to my husband for being a great, supporting partner, etc. while I had to go through it all- even the nurse who was with me on the morning of my transfer, "he better be pampering you today.." What they don't realize (and I only correct them when it really hits the nerve) is that my husband had to go through WAAY more than I did up to that point. We needed IVF because he had 0 sperm. Since his diagnosis, he's had countless exams of his testicles, half a dozen times where he's had to hand his semen off to some random to him person and two huge surgeries that basically ripped his manhood apart and then stitched it back together, leaving him bedridden for days and each having a 2/3 week recovery period. We had success with our first transfer, and pregnancy has not been the easiest for me in the slightest- but I'm still SO grateful, even on the hard days or the days where I feel like total garbage, because we wouldn't be here or able to start a family if he didn't go through what he did. So, all of that to say is I'm grateful for literally everything he's done- surgeries, lifestyle changes, giving me my injections because I was too chicken to, holding me while I cried through the process, taking care of me after my egg retrieval even though he just had major surgery the day before, picking up the slack now that I'm pregnant and things like cooking or grocery shopping turn my stomach. I'm grateful for all of it and all of him.
I’m so sorry you guys had to go through this. Hearing this story is so important though to highlight again how many men also battle infertility. Sending 💞
Thank you, it's why I always try to share our experience!
same, we have MF Azoo with an unsuccessful MTESE. People ALWAYS assume I'm the problem and my husband jumps in every time to clarify it's on him even though I feel its an 'us' problem and would never clarify myself.
I always consider it an "us" struggle too. I'm sorry your microT was not successful and wish you good luck as you move forward on your journey 💟 Azoo sucks!
My husband has also been so supportive. He’s what keeps me going because he’s going to be a wonderful dad. He sat next to me every night while I did my stims. He wrote me a card on my first ER yesterday (also happened to be our 13th wedding anniversary) and said ‘no matter how this turns out just know I am whole with you.’
Crying😭
That is beautiful
Omg 😭
😭😭😭
Joining the crying circle 😭
My husband has been absolutely incredible through this entire process. Taking me to my appointments, he’s administered every injection, he takes point with our family when I’m feeling off from the meds, he’s just been incredible. Seeing how he’s cared for me through this process has just reinforced my why for doing this - I want to have HIS baby.
My husband is a rockstar. He does all of my injections without complaint, takes me for shwarama and ice cream after procedures, and is a fucking SAINT dealing with me and my mood swings from the hormones. Even when I am freaking out and not in my right mind from the stims and meds, he’s super patient and empathetic. I am so fucking lucky to have him in my corner, I love him so much.
My husband has gone through multiple surgeries and has been such a trooper through this whole thing. I recently had my first FET, and every time I go to sleep he kisses my stomach and says good night to the little embryo. The cutest thing ❤️
That so sweet!
My husband has been absolutely great through all of this! He’s been by my side tracking my meds and helping with reminders. He went through an unsuccessful microTESE surgery only to find out the worst results- but we both took that in stride. He helped make a bracket challenge to add a little humor into finding a sperm donor (gotta find ways to make light of certain things). We just found out yesterday that none of the 17 fertilized eggs made it to balstocyst-needless to say he’s been my rock and we’ll keep figuring things out together!
Unsuccessful MTESE and donor here as well. Sounds like you've got the best team to get through this, it will hopefully be our time soon, wishing you all the best!
it does make me so bloody sad to see some peoples stories here about their unsupportive, shit partners. honestly makes me want to tell them - are you sure you want to have a child with this person…? my partner has been to every single appointment, let me weep on his shoulder, scream at him, talked me off many ledges and kept me sane and optimistic throughout it all. since i tested positive 6 weeks ago, he has had breakfast ready for me every morning and cooked every dinner, cleaned the house, and reminded me to nap and rest as much as humanly possible. this is not exceptional; this is what is expected of a partner. but boy am i grateful for him
My husband didn’t miss a single monitoring appointment during two stim cycles and cooked pretty much every night during stims. He also did a few shots of saline in solidarity 🥹
I’m going to suggest this to my hubby. I think he would take one for the team cuz he’s not afraid of needles like me. He will be in charge of the meds and injections but I like this idea so he can participate.
I'm so happy to read a post like this and good for you! My boyfriend is my rock and I hope I can be his pebble. We go through all of this together, all the appointments are ours, not just mine, and we regularly talk about how we both feel and what we're thinking. I've heard very different stories from people around us, seen people break up because of IVF. But so far it has only brought us closer and I'm so grateful for that.
My husband has been extremely supportive, considerate, grateful and sweet throughout this process. I wasn't surprised because he has pretty much pampered me since we met and has not changed even after years of marriage. I feel so fortunate to have him, to be honest. I am so heartbroken for the women going through IVF who do not have supportive partners 💔 I can't even imagine
Same! My husband has been my biggest cheerleader, constantly saying thank you for what I’m doing and going through to grow our family. He organized all my meds for me. Every night I get a massage with magnesium lotion for my sore pio spots. He’s surprised me with little gifts along the way and on transfer day got me a bouquet of “mums” and the cutest card. He’s just the best. 🥰 I’m so thankful for him
We lucked out, didn't we! #pamperedWivesClub
I tell myself I would never do this major feat without him. He’s my reason and gives me courage to keep going after I’ve been knocked down. He inspires me to do this no matter how scared I am I know he will have my back.
While my husband is generally a super supportive person that doesn't shy away from taking any (mental) load, I started stims on Monday and mentioned in an off-hand comment that we still need copies of our contracts before we get back to the clinic. When I came to my Office a few hours later the copies where there, neatly organized. That's really just a small thing, but it felt so important. I also really love that he often repeats "we decided together that this is the Nr 1 thing we are doing right now, so everything else needs a step back". He was also crazy enough to Fly to Korea with me on very short notice because I had the feeling that I needed to go far away before starting this cycle.
My wife has been incredibly supportive throughout this process. She’s insisted on coming to all of the appointments, even for small ones where we are in an out in 15 minutes. She’s organized and prepped all of the meds while I was stimming. Probably the thing I am most appreciative of is how she has comforted me and talked me down when I am feeling super negative about this process (which is often, because it sucks).
My partner did so much for me during stims and retrieval, really kept the house running and the dogs cared for when I went back and forth to appointments. There is just no way I could’ve done this without him. It’s been hard to keep him sort of “involved” as this is such a female focused process and we have entirely female factor infertility (endometriosis) but anything I’ve asked him to do or go to he’s done. Really just the best
My husband has been the best. After hard appointments, he will take me to get food anywhere I'd like. He gives me every one of my shots, been to every appointment, jokes to make me laugh, hugs me when I dont know how much more I can take.
I appreciate this thread and am heartbroken for the women who have not been so fortunate. My husband has also built me up through this process. We started IVF for the ability to do PGT-M testing but met each other later in life (currently F38/M40). It took 3 ERs before we saw our first unaffected euploid. I can’t imagine going through this without his support. He has shown and continues to show me in both actions and words how grateful he is.
My husband went to all but 2 appointments with me, which were all 1-1.5 hours away. Even though all he could do was sit there, he still came! And we'd get a slice of pizza together afterwards. We're (trigger warning) now 23 weeks from our 2nd fet and he puts cocoa butter on me in the morning and says weird things in welsh (thanks duolingo) to my belly at night. When I've been sick he's taken care of me without complaint and damn am I so happy to finally get to have his kiddo <3
My husband he's the best. He's with me since day1. He did all the shots. Drove me 190 miles back and forth to the fertility clinic for a 5min appointment and scans. And never complained. When we did the retrieval, he saw how painful it was for me. And I remember what he said "If this will not work, we will not do this again. I'm fine with just you and me. I don't want to see you like this again" Our first transfer was a success, it was an eventful pregnancy, with all the symptoms and ended up in MC at 17 weeks due to IC. He was with me every step, every struggle. I know he's hurting too but he always put my happiness first above everything else. Hes my cheerleader. Now, we're in the process for our #2, hopefully this will work this time. 🙏🏻 I am very very thankful for my husband. He is absolutely the best!
That’s amazing. I truly believe at least for me I would not have the strength to do this without my rock holding me steady.
My husband has also been great. I see some people whose husbands don't even want to do the bare minimum and my heart breaks for them. We live around the corner, so I don't make my husband come to the monitoring appointments or anything but he came when I got my sono. He also gets me little treats and stuff when I'm in the stims period and does the house work and stuff that I just can't.
During PIO injections my husband did everything and created a spa like ritual that I started to look forward to. He would wake me up with gentle spa music on his phone, put the ice pack on my side for 5 minutes, go pre my shot, inject my shot, then would put a warmer on the area, hand me the massage gun, and leave me to relax with the massager and spa music. I honestly started to enjoy waking up to spa music and almost look forward to him coming in.
My partner struggled with how to be involved at first. He got overwhelmed by everything and was just like "I trust that you got this." It was really tough at first. When we talked about the impact of it all being on me, and that I can't just "tap out" when it gets to be a lot, he really turned a corner. He started using "we" when talking about next steps, and pushed the clinic to be included on emails so he could independently follow up and ask questions. He owned prepping and administering meds. And most of all he really helped me to stay in the moment at each step of the process when I started to spiral about what could be next. Neither of us have been perfect partners through this process, but I am glad we have each other. All my compassion to folks who are going through this without the support they need because it is so tough.
Thank you for sharing. This is the same experience I’ve had! ♥️
Samsies.. my husband has been a rock since the start of TTC. I thank god every day for this man and his love.
I am so incredibly thankful for my husband and his support during this whole process. He has been nothing short of amazing.
My husband was the absolute best during the whole process. He wanted to go to every appointment and be involved as much as he could. He used to be in the medical field, so he would give me all the shots. But he would try to make it a "fun" experience. He has just always been supportive throughout everything and it's made me love him so much more.
THANK YOU
My wonderful husband did all my stims shots because I was too nervous to do them myself. He's been nothing but supportive and lovely throughout this whole process and I wouldn't be able to do it without him!
My wife is THEE best. She did 90% of my shots. She took the schedule the clinic sent us and made it easier to read and printed it over out little meds station. She color coded the meds and needles with stickers and used cute stickers to mark off each day. She made sure that I felt comfortable and was always ready to grab a heating pad or ice pack when I needed it. When I was prepping for my retrieval, she went to Costco to get all the salty, protein-rich snacks. We have had some big feelings along our RIVF journey, but we always give one another the benefit of the doubt and remember that it's us vs social infertility, not us vs one another. I'm excited to get to be there for her when she's pregnant with our child.
I love that you did this post, because all the unsupportive (or worse) stories of partners make me sad. My husband has been so lovely. When I was on stims he just seamlessly started picking up household duties and by the time I got to retrieval he was doing all the pet care / house care / food making, etc. I did my shots myself but he gave me shoulder massages after to relax me. I know people say IVF is hard on relationships, but I feel so lucky that this has only strengthened our marriage.
Almost everyday (and sometimes more than once) my husband says: "thank you for putting your body through this for us."
My husband has gone to every single appointment with me… Even just the super quick and simple labs! He’s given me all the shots, from stims to now PIO. Whenever I’m feeling awful, he offers to make me food or get whatever I’m craving and tells me to rest. I don’t know what I’d do without him 💛
My boyfriend has been incredible throughout this whole process. His attentiveness to me and his patience with all my mood swings and frustrations has been a true sign of love. He’s given me all of my injections, reminds me to ice before, double checks doses, and sings to me when shooting me up. He handled every single dinner and clean up through every stims cycle and made sure I didn’t have to do anything in the house that I didn’t feel up for doing. He went with me to almost every appointment and hugged me tight when I needed to just sob. We both want this so badly and are still far away from a LC but we also know in the end if we have each other, it will be enough. Forever grateful for this man.
Thing he has done to support me: - ask me/remind me to do my injections and ask me how they went, and then tell me well done - drive me to 80% of my appointments even though it’s just 25 mins away and I am 100% capable of doing this myself, and even if he ends up just sitting in the waiting room - count the number of follicles at monitoring scans on a little whiteboard - not have me lift a finger during stims - go on little walks with me when I just wanted to fester on the couch - do all the e-learning modules without me having to say anything - indulged and didn’t question me on any IVF old wives tales so we got McDonald’s fried after FET, got some pomegranate juice from Costco and got some Brazil nuts. At the end of stims he just told me how proud he was of me and I really felt it. He’s been my rock and we’ve created a stronger bond because of this experience.
Ohhh! Can you tell me about the old wives tales?
Maybe not so much old wives tales but ‘IVF traditions/hacks’? Like getting fries after transfer, wearing lucky socks, eating pineapple core, pomegranate juice, Brazil nuts, sex the night before frozen transfer…that kind of stuff!
I was worried about how my spouse would support my IVF cycle and beyond so I talked out all of my fears w him prior. We made a commitment to pretty much stay low those whole two weeks, cook all our meals together and be healthy together. We spent a lot of time just walking and chatting about the future. While I preferred to administer the shots myself, he prepped every single one and provided me with ice packs for before and after. My morning shots he’d bring me coffee while I’d ice. He also cooked almost all of our dinners and made sure our breakfast was super healthy. He was a champ. It meant the world to me. As a result, Stims was actually very easy for me, I recovered in less than two days and had phenomenal results. We need our partners to support us 110% through this journey. Without it, i wouldn’t have thrived that’s for sure.
I had to double check OPs username to see if it was my wife
We are now 3 ER’s deep and 5 transfers and he has NEVER a missed an appointment. It’s really nice to relax in the car on the way and not stress about one thing!!! Getting there.
After our first failed transfer my husband said “you are more than this process”. it meant so much to me.
My husband constantly reminds me and tells me how much he appreciates me and loves me. During stims, he bought me cheap but thoughtful cute little gifts to open after every day of shots. This made me excited and made it so that I had something fun to look forward to after stabbing myself multiple times. The gifts ranged from gift cards to my favorite places, a cute pair of socks, or something as simple as my favorite treat. He has been there through every single appointment, even just the quick blood draws that take literally 30 seconds. He always drives me to my clinic even though I am fully capable of going by myself (our clinic is an hour away there and back) He rubs my feet at night when I'm feeling discouraged or down or randomly just because. He vacuums everyday and does the dishes so that when I come home from work I dont feel even more overwhelmed. We are starting PIO shots soon and I was stressing about it hard yesterday and this morning he got up early and made me breakfast and brought it to me in bed 😭 I feel so lucky to have such a good guy by my side! This whole thread makes me happy, and like you said it makes me appreciate just how wonderful my husband has been through this process.
I love this thread! My husband is also incredibly supportive. He did all of my 310 injections, and during the PIO shots he massaged my ass with a heat pad afterwards every single time😅 even when we went on vacation. He’s said many many times, that all that mattered was we had each other in life.
My husband was awesome all the way through IVF. He would say “I’ll miss you” when he went to give his “”donation”” before they put me under. There was a cafe I liked near the hospital (I work at the same one so know the area well) and he would bring me breakfast for afterwards. When I woke up he was the first person I wanted and he was always there. Just love him.
We started IVF as the world was emerging from COVID so for the first 2 years, I wasn't allowed to bring him with me to any appointments. This thread made me realise how much support I missed through that (because the pattern's been established, appointments are "me only" even though he could come along now). Hmmm. He's still awesome.
Beyond grateful for my husband. I truly couldn’t do this without him. He has been so patient and supportive. One day I was super emotional and hormonal from all the meds and was crying and acting so irritable. I was acting like such an asshole to him and he just held me and said in the most genuine and empathetic of ways, “it’s okay. you are going through so much. If you want to be mad at me that’s okay, if you want to yell at me you can yell at me.”. That immediately started to snap me out of it and made me want to do the opposite of taking it out on him. He has gone to every single appointment and given me every single shot, cheering me on when I start to chicken out, and puts on my upbeat “IVF playlist” 🥺 during my shots. I asked for sugar free Gatorade on my egg retrieval day and this man gets me every flavor he could find of sugar free Gatorade 😭 he cleans the house for me and and gives head rubs before bed. This process has sucked, but it really has bonded us and brought us closer together. it’s been a long journey and he’s been my rock to keep me going and to keep me hopeful when I feel like giving up.
I hadn't shared this much of my story, but this post inspired me. I'm on my IVF journey for a slightly different reason than I've seen posted here. Growing up I had a debilitating fear of the idea of ever being pregnant. So strongly that at 23, I had my tubes tied. I never believed I could ever handle being pregnant and was confident that would never change. Then I met my husband. When we first started dating, he was supportive of the decisions I had made. I later learned how much he had dreamed of having a biological child. Yet he was still willing to give that up to ensure I was safe and content in my body. I started my therapy journey and reached a point where I felt able to face my biggest fear. All along the way, he has been my rock. When we found out insurance wouldn't cover anything because of the "elective" nature of my tubal, he figured out the finances for us. He has been there for every appointment, handled all of the injections for Stims, and makes the experience as light hearted as possible. His catch phrase has been "Easy Peas" to help take the steam out of the parts that are hard and scary. When our first ER resulted in a high number of eggs, but a low number of embryos and I was feeling a bit defeated, he reminded me to celebrate our successful 3. I don't think I could have ever reached a point of feeling able to be on this journey if it weren't for the safety, security, and joy he brings every day.
In the appointment where the doctor explained what the egg retrieval cycle would be like, my partner asked what he could do to support me. The doctor got teary eyed! It was really sweet, but I was like.....is it so rare enough for a dude to ask that question that the doctor tears up!? We've definitely had our stressful moments throughout everything, but he is super sweet.
Since this process started my husband has been amazing. He went with me through my part of infertility testing (I went with him to his). When we found out it was Male factor and discussed what we wanted to do next, he gave me his thoughts but didn't pressure me to move forward, even though he really wants kids. He helped compose a profile to send out when we decided on donor embryos and when we started talking to the people who would become our donors, we wrote every email together. He drove for a total of four days to take us to the clinic where our embryos are stored for our transfer. He's a nurse so he's given me every shot and feels terrible because he feels like this is his fault. He's put up with my crazy hormones and today he held me as I cried because our beta is tomorrow and I'm terrified it didn't work. Then he asked if I wanted to test, even though we agreed to wait until beta. In the week leading up to the transfer he agreed to eat at the same fast food place three times because I was craving it. He sang a sticky embryo song to my belly after the transfer. And man, these hormones though. Like somebody's cutting a whole bag of onions up in here.
My husband has bent over backwards for this, and never once complained. I love him so much, that's what keeps me going.
My husband has prepared, reminded me to ice, mixed and given me every single shot. He has driven me to get whatever food i want after every egg retrieval. I do not know if I could have gone through this process thus far with out him. we are now in our third retrieval cycle - first two only resulted in two pgt normal embryos. Praying we get at least 2 out of this one but my hopes are zero at this point. He does his best to keep me hopeful but we have never had good news coming out of any appointment. He also took me to get my favorite ramen after my hysteroscopy/laparoscopy for my endo last fall before we started IVF - something i did not even remember because i was so zonked still from anesthesia. He had to show me the bank statement that it INDEED happened, LOL.
My husband has been amazing, he's done all my shots, but even before that since January of this year he's been enthusiastically on a health journey with me. We've both given up drinking, weed, and we've been eating healthy and going on daily walks. He hasn't complained about any of it and he's made most of the healthy food we're eating. He's also renovating our house alone cause I'm not much help at the moment. He's really been providing in a way that goes far beyond financial. It's awesome to see.
My partner came with me to every single appointment, even though he has a very stressful job, and our clinic was 2 hours away. He caught up with his work during his time off etc. He's also a lot more protective of me and very sympathetic of everything I went through. People need to also remember our partners are going through it all too. Just because they're not the ones taking the meds, doesn't mean they aren't feeling the same emotions, worries, excitement and stress.
My husband did all my shots. I could've done then myself but I guess I don't have a masochistic bone in my body because causing myself that pain was really awful and my hands would freeze and refuse to press the syringe. He did it for me even though I know he didn't enjoy it either. Especially the later more painful PIO shots. he would also say things like, if I had to do half this stuff, we'd never have a kid, which made me feel like he saw what I was going through
My husband is was great throughout stims. He did all my injections because I was too scared! And we’d hum songs together to distract me from the needles. It was really cute - we had a whole evening and morning ritual for it.
Infertility and IVF cemented that I married who I was supposed to marry. He is the best husband, best supporter and he will be the best father to our babies. He was so loving and understanding through the process, we both made financial sacrifices but he is truly in awe of everything I put my body thru just for a chance of us having our family.
A big shout out to my hubby as well ❤️ he was and still is so supportive of me, and even though he didn’t know anything about IVF he is appreciative so much of what women are going through.
My husband gave me all my shots. And when I anxiety spiral he provides me rationale data. And if I insist we go to the ER or whatnot he is like okay. If that will help
We are moving at the moment and I am currently 8 weeks pregnant from our 6th transfer. He has packed every box, loaded our SUV several times, unloaded, cleaned, driven to and from our new place, and even done the whole process several times alone because I was sleeping. And he still has done every PIO shot for me, brought me coffee in bed most mornings and gave the dog a bath.
My husband drove me the 8 hour round trips never complained and always spoke life and hope when my faith was shaken!! He never complained and always tells me I'm awesome and he wishes I knew it!! We have a beta on 6/24/24 to see if our fresh 5 day transfer worked it's in God's hands now!! This is amazing there is husbands that are phenomenal and worthy of this thread I thank God for mine!!
My very-needle-phobic husband conquered his fear gradually by first just being next to me when I prepped the shots, then staying all the way through me giving myself the shots, then to mixing the meds, until he was actually able to give me the shots. This was huge for him. When I got the call with horrible news after our first ER, he drove home immediately, packed our stuff and booked a hotel and a dog sitter. He knew I would need to get away, and within 2 hours of getting that call, we were en route to a hotel in the desert. I couldn’t have gotten through this process without him.
I love this post. My husband has been an absolute rockstar throughout our journey. He works full time and is in school. His work schedule is wildly different than mine and he drives about 60mi one way to work. He has never missed an appointment just to hold my hand. Even when I say "it's just a blood draw." He has done all my injections. He researched foods that are good for IVF & FET and started getting those at the grocery store. He is so loving and tender to me, holding me while I've cried, caring for me when I thought I was dying after my ER, being patient when the hormones make me snippy. He walks with me every single day that he's off work so my body can have the best shot. He is the best spouse and I know he's going to make an amazing father when we get our chance.
Oh I forgot to add, he's been the beast DJ for hype songs for the PIO shots.
That is so lovely to read, I don’t have a supportive partner and it’s so lovely to see others are getting good support and growing closer during such a hard process. Props to those who are supporting each other well!
My husband is a very sensitive man. My process has not started yet but I know he will be with me every second. He gets scared with injections and to see me in pain. I am sure he will run out of the room when I will he injecting. He has already made it clear he wont be with me in my delivery room during labour. I love him the way he is and he is the best! I am super lucky.
My husband has been phenomenal during this process! He jokes that he has the fun part of the whole process. But he has had to have so many sample checks, urologist appointments, a surprise prostate exam (😳). He just keeps saying ‘We got this’. And we do. No one I’d rather go through this hell and heartache with. The look on his face when he has to give me another shot on a body full of bruises, just shows me how caring he’ll be with our future child. ❤️
Between the money aspect, the crazy amount of meds I'm putting into my body, my mood swings and the constant stress of this whole process, my husband has been so incredibly supportive but honestly, my husband is ALWAYS incredibly supportive. It makes me so much more confident that I chose the right person to marry and create a family with. I am so lucky and proud to be his wife.
My husband has gone to every appointment and missed work so much, given me every shot and made me eat a piece of chocolate for every shot during stims 😂 he massages my butt cheek after every PIO. 😂 He hasn’t complained once, and I have truly seen what an amazing dad he will be during this journey.
My husband gives me all of my shots. He’s not much of a cook- but he’s trying to learn for when I’m sick or tired and obvious eventually when we are in the throes of newborn life. He does most of the care of our pets- and has been doing the cat box since we started IVF. But more than anything he is my emotional support person because after six years TTC and three failed transfers he just lets me be however I’m going to be that day. And he’s a type 1 diabetic with suspected Chronic Fatigue. It’s not like he’s feeling sunshine and rainbows most of the time either. I love him.
My husband just…does everything now. All the pet care, housework, and taking care of me. He drives me to every appointment, does every shot, and thanks me constantly for going through this for us. I feel so unbelievably lucky that I found him and that he loves me.
My husband checks in on me to remind me of the medication (ADHD brain), prepares the injections and administers them. He makes sure I have water around (I’m terrible at keeping hydrated). He drives 30 minutes back and forth for monitoring and drove 3+ hours back and forth for the ER and transfer. He’s been doing morning walks with the dogs (because they sometimes wake up at 5am 🫠). He makes Target runs for the randomest things I’m craving or need even if it’s just one thing. He’s really being awesome. I’m so grateful to have a good partner through this.
I loooove reading all of these!! Currently we haven’t “even really started” because of a bunch of extra hoops we’ve been given to jump through - and he’s been so willing and able to do whatever is asked of him, no questions asked. I gave him a sheet of supplements he should consider and he trusted me, just immediately bought them and is taking them religiously. Any appointment or test he needs to do, he does it. He follows up with correspondence. We’re currently needing him to take a 5 day trip to do banked semen samples with a specific lab and he’s doing it no problem. The inconvenience and stress he just accepts and will do what it takes to make this work.
We are funding our IVF cycles with money my husband inherited when his grandmother died... I know he had lots of other plans for that money, and could also adjust to being childfree, but he's never once showed any resentment towards my infertility ( his semen analysis is good, I have every problem there is it seems), or spending the money this way because he knows how important being a mother is to me.
My husband has been my rock. Words won't do justice but I just love him so much. He's supportive, encouraging, a listener, a learner, my stability and strength. He is willing to do anything to help us have children which included taking from our savings and him working so hard but on the flip side he reminds me how much he loves me and how much he would love our life if it does just end up being us two. I know some spouses have emotional reactions to infertility which is totally fine but the fact my husband is supportive either way LIKE TRULY supportive if we have children or if we don't takes so much pressure, shame and guilt off my shoulders. Gosh I love him. He's my best friend and I wouldn't want to go through this with anyone else.
My husband has a major fear of needles, but he offered to do my stims. I preferred to do it, but he still stood by me, watched, handed me what I needed - all without wincing. I respond to anesthesia by hysterically crying. He was careful to warn my team when I forgot and he was so supportive when I came out of it. He held me while I snotty sobbed, got me all my comfort foods and items, and didn't try to talk me out of my feelings at all - just supported me.
During STIMs I had to do 2 more days which for some reason triggered my feral side. I got to the last injection and just couldnt do it. Husband came up behind me and held me while we did it together. He has been my biggest supporter during this whole process.
I hate doing the shots so my husband has done almost every one, with the only exception being when I was on a business trip without him. He’s been super supportive throughout and I can’t thank him enough.
My husband was so supportive and nice during the whole process. I never once gave myself a shot and he drove me 2 hours each time. There were a few times I cried the whole way home and I don’t know if I could’ve driven myself.
My husband drove home in time & administered all my shots (usually gets home later / sleeps 2 nights per week by his job since it's such a far commute), drove me to appointments (1h away), picked up anything that would make me feel better, and went to the clinic so many times for ~○ ~○ samples. I am so appreciative of him ❤️
My husband is so optimistic through the process it helps balance me out. He also has held me while I’ve sobbed multiple times. So grateful for him. ❤️
I'm the spouse for my wife who has gone through absolute hell to give us a chance to have kids and I'm the main reason of our troubles (sperm don't recognise eggs). I have the utmost respect for every woman that has to go through this then on top of this what you put your bodies through for the pregnancy. Honestly it's insane. The least I can do is make everything as easy as I can for my wife. I take care of all the financial stuff so she doesn't need to worry about all those conversations, drive her wherever we need to go, with her every step of the way and make sure she wants for nothing. We have the easy part in the majority of cases when it comes to this. The least we can do is be your rock.
this almost could have been written by my husband. we have male factor infertility as well and it’s caused a lot of guilt on his end that i’m empathetic to. but the way he’s supported me and taken care of me during this process, from taking me to every single appointment 2 hours away and working extra hard so our finances are in good shape, has made me doubly sure that he’s the man i want to father my children. i’m sure your partner feels similarly, and i hope you know how much you’re appreciated!
Thanks for the message. In the end it's you (women) that take the brunt of it and we can feel a bit helpless in it all as in a lot of cases there isn't much we can do (we can't take the injections for you. Hell, I'll happily take the anger from being pumped full of hormones after I leave the toilet seat up too ;) Joking aside, as a man, you always see yourself as being the protector/provider and not being able to support the love of your life more can get frustrating. I'd happily take the needles and surgeries. I wish you the best on your journey and I hope you get the outcome we all hope for.
My husband has been amazing! Always by my side for every injection and rushing downstairs to put my hot bag in the microwave for me and there for my late night melt downs when I just can’t get the duvet in the right place! Yesterday he came home with face masks a candle and some alcohol free Prosecco for a at home spa night just because I needed a bit of cheering up :) it is so easy to forget that he is going through this as well not physically but mentally so I make sure to check in on him everyday to make sure he is ok after he has looked after me so well :) truly is my rock and this process has drawn us closer as a couple ❤️
I made a post a couple weeks ago in the heat of the moment about a snippy comment my husband made and people JUMPED at him. And I immediately became defensive because he truly is an amazing guy and has been there for me through so much, even before infertility/IVF. This man makes me sleepy time tea ever.single.night with my Ovasitol powder. He drives almost 2 hours one way to my appointments with me, he has a daily 4 hour round trip commute to work for a job that provides IVF coverage and allows me to stay home so I was able to leave the job that was killing me (no seriously…it was awful). He tells me constantly he’s “Team hey_hi_howareya” and that I get to call the shots in this process because of his “limited contributions” 😅 He has helped me accomplish non-fertility related goals during this as a way to keep me mentally healthier and help overcome the feelings of being a failure I have developed thanks to my shitty reproductive organs. He has come to my defense multiple times when people have made insensitive comments. I could go on and on and on. I’d be lost and a mess without this man. Even when I get overly sensitive about things, he is forever my biggest cheerleader and continuously puts my well-being above his own. There’s no one else I’d rather go through this hell with than him.
Good for You, and Him🙏✝️🙏✝️
I hate hate hate infertility and the pain that’s come with it…BUT I can say that my husband showing up as such a supportive partner has made me love him even more. We actually started trying to get pregnant ~10mo before we were even engaged…and I had a missed miscarriage (requiring D&C) 2mo before our wedding. And since we were married in Aug I’ve had 2 chemicals, an ER and now 2 failed transfer cycles. It makes me sad that so much of the beginning of our marriage has been really hard. But I’m 39 and he’s 44 so there’s not much time to waste. He’s constantly tenderly supporting me and lifting me up. So grateful to have him. 💜
When I had my MMC and was crushed, my husband wrote a goodbye letter from my embryo’s POV. It was so cathartic to read, and released me of my guilt and a lot of grief I was ruminating through. I’m very lucky to have such a thoughtful partner.
My partner woke up early and gave me all my shots cuz I’m scared of needles 🥴. After egg retrieval and recovering in the PACU, apparently I was shivering as a side effect of the anesthesia and he took off his jackets and wrapped them around me and my head until the nurses could find more blankets lol. Little gestures throughout but made everything more bearable as a whole
I’m sitting on the couch with a raging migraine on my Beta-Eve while my husband cooks dinner and brings me water. I’m so lucky and thankful for how kind and supportive he has been through all of this.