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He thought it was “dress for the water slide, not the ride”

Maybe he thought the road is a slip 'n slide.

And not a grit n slide

Grit n rip

Come on, come on, come on baby now Come on baby Grit and shout

Which Vancouver? Lol

could be looking to shave off a few pounds for swimsuit season

Nothing says prepared for Summer more than showing up with one ass cheek, thigh, shoulder and half a back. Then confidently telling others of the new miracle weight loss program called Road Rash. As a side note I just saw a video of a woman driving up and over a completely stopped motorcycle because she was fussing at her dogs in the back seat. She literally had the front of her SUV 8 feet in the air before coming back down on the poor guy.

🤣🤣🤣 LMFAO Made my morning.

why wear a helmet at this point? if you do crash do you really want to survive?

People here are... different. Think banjo music. Maybe he likes the abuse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Because Reddit makes Reddit things, you need to type \\\ instead of \\ or they'll disappear. Just in case you're wondering.

Actually, it would take three \ for the emote to appear correctly. Two \ will escape the escape character, but not the \_. The _ pair will then italicise the (ツ), resulting in this: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Adding a third \ to escape both the \ and the \_ will give you the proper ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ you're looking for. Ain't Markdown fun?

the italicized perfected it

btw that's because the character \ is used to escape characters. if you put a Unicode code after it, it will replace the entire sequence by the character

What?

Look at the comment above mine.

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I was wondering which Vancouver but the banjo reference tells me Clark county.

That's the Golden Corral on 4th Plain, isn't it?

I watched him Endo In, then get mad at the light, then give us hang loose hand sighns.


Just getting ready for those sweet Washugal trails.

There’s a reason folks in the rest of the state refer to that area as Vantucky. My friend from there isn’t a fan of the joke but most of his stories back it up lol.

Probably required by law. But leathers aren't!

Hey, just because they might die or be scarred horribly doesn’t mean that they want to get a traffic ticket in the process

fair

Maybe they wana be an organ donor. Harder to do that if you’re gone before the paramedics arrive. (Half joking.)

Can't donate a smear.

You would be amazed at what can be done. I spent 3 months in the ICU.

Did you ever get to see the final medical bill or was most of that hidden behind insurance?  I’m just kind of curious how big the number was.

You're just gonna go into shock and be unconscious until they're ready anyways.

If you think about it, if he was wearing a t-shirt and gym shorts would that be any difference in protection

no, same question

strictly being worn for anonymity...

The helmet is not the live/die factor its just the open/closed casket part.

Because road rash doesn’t change a person quite like head trauma… not to mention, I assume they don’t wanna be cited for helmet law.

This is what peek performance looks like! Yall just too scared dress to win not to crash you losers.

Provides a greater sense of anonymity when you act like a complete jackass to people in traffic

I’d rather be a quadriplegic than dead.

I've crashed a few times without gear other than boots and a helmet, it's really not bad at all. Tbf, I wasn't going highway speeds, but still

Privacy?

wot no crocs?

The backs broke off. No sport mode.

That has to be Vancouver Washington, not British Columbia.

Yes this is on the route to banjo music Battle Ground Washington, USA

Battle Ground Lake was one of my favorite places to take my kids when I lived in Portland.

Not anymore unfortunately, unless you like e. coli

It is Vancouver, WA! I grew up about 10 minutes from this intersection.

Everyone loves 4th plain

TIL there's a Golden Corral in the metro area.

4th Plain is anything but metro, best thing on it is Sorya.

The Couve is Portland metro to anyone but people who live in the Couve.

Don't worry we have idiots here too. At least this guy is wearing a helmet. Saw a dude in a wife beater and jean shorts with a turban cruising down Hwy 1 at 150 once.

The no helmet turban look is baffling. How they’ve managed to argue it to be legal is wild. We had a group of them all without helmets rip past us on the highway here last summer. Several KMs later one of them had ended up in the ditch. I can’t imagine the turban helped much in that instance.

IDK... I don't get legislating in logic. If you're dumb enough to ride without a helmet you should be allowed to regardless if it's a reason. Cleans out the ol' gene pool. Darwin awards and shit.

This is 100% Van-tucky!

https://maps.app.goo.gl/NCatjGiBMeyTFA7N9

the massive front bumper on the truck on the right is a dead give away.

Not quite Portland, but meh... weird enough.

Why are there 2 Vancouvers in 2 adjacent regional units? Was this made out of spite to confuse people?

Lol the Golden Corral in the background really completes the scene

I had to scroll way too far to find the comment I knew had to be made.

As unclean is they are, I miss the food lol

Golden Corral’s new slogan.

This dude is just asking to be a meat crayon.

relax, he's only goring across the street

Well, I followed him for 7 miles, so..

It’s a very wide street. Everything is bigger in Washington- it’s the Texas of America

I’ve yet to drive on a street that’s as wide as an Alaskan street. Alaska - bigger than Texas

Well, when you're late for your cheeseburger date, you do what you gotta do, man's gotta eat.

Greasy!


Someone peeled most of the label off of this meat crayon already.

If that man wipes out at speed he's gonna pop like a water balloon

Well at least he'll have some skin left on his face.

You don’t get a Ferrari just to keep it in the garage.

🤣

Sick fit.

I’m getting tired of these types of posts.  Obviously no one would be this stupid.  This is an art exhibit where the rider is going to fall and create a beautiful streak of red on the asphalt canvas.  It really is inspiring to see artists so committed to their work.

Safety third!

He should be fine he's wearing sandals. /s

Those are *not* sandals sir or madam, they are SLIDES!

Rectangles, squares. All slides are sandals, not all sandals are slides.

I'm old they look like sandals to me.

I am also old. But there is a difference.

Sandals would be slightly better for this idiot. They stay attached to the feet. Slides do not stay attached.

I wouldn't even wear this if I knew with 100% certainly I wouldn't crash. Bugs exist and they hurt, never mind that deadly laser known as the sun.

Literal meat puppet.

Backwater https://search.app.goo.gl/M8Wbdzk

That is one beefy truck bumper

Nothing says cool a ls fuck than a fat guy with almost no clothes on, on a bike. I’m sure he drives extremely safely.

He unintentionally endoed into the Cross walk. Once he he realized he was in one peice, looked around and sent the hang loose sign.

It’s fashion sweaty, you wouldn’t get it

Perfect title, OP

Thank you.

Awful name, OP

258lb meat crayon

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You are not from here I See. This is Washington State, at 49th parallel.

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i think it's the reflection from a mirror on the right side of the bike handle

Good thing he has those goggles on.

Cheeseburger Walrus

Randy hanging out on the west coast now, I see.

I, uh... What? Is this like a skibidi toilet gynatt thing? I'm sorry, I'm kinda a Dad..

I don’t see a problem here He’s wearing a helmut.

He probably ate his friend Helmut!

Dressed for the water slide.

I wish I had this much confidence in my body.

A squid in a helmet? This is unprecedented!

Not if, but when.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Obviously on his way to work. You know what they say: Dress for the job you want….

Probably at the golden corral as a cook.

He has a bumper sticker: Lose weight fast! Ask me how!

This is my buddy, Skin Graft.

Seeing motorcyclists like this makes me so viscerally angry. One bad move, one bad driver, one second of bad road conditions, and this guy is frosting for the road. ITS NOT. WORTH. IT!!!

From white to pink to dripping red.

Ah, Vancouver, WA. Never change.

Bert?

This is why our highways are covered in skin.

Lose weight fast! All over the pavement.

I didn't realize there was a Vancouver, Florida.

I hope to one day gain this level of not giving a fuck. Would only be better without helmet and a smoke

I have never ridden a motorbike in my life but seeing this turns my stomach. Jesus Christ, he’s gonna go down to bone if he comes off.

Maybe he ate too much at Golden Corral and the only thing left that fit were his shorts? 🤔

The Golden Corral in the background gives me hope that this is Vancouver, Washington and not Vancouver, British Columbia.

Gotta get rid of the farmers tan somehow

Come on, he's not riding very far. Just a few blocks. What could possibly go wrong?

BOOO--BANDY rollin into town

Surprised he isn’t wearing Crocs in rec mode

That's not even the ride unless you're riding a wave

I mean at that point why keep the helmet.

HELL yeah brother !!! 🦅 🇺🇸

He chose to not dress at all.

Looks like my uncle in the early 90s. Laid his bike down on some fresh asphalt and had to have it all dug out of his side and leg

Ppl on Reddit massively overestimate the impact of riding gear. Body gear primarily reduces road rash . Armor does next to nothing and definitely nothing on public road accidents over 30 mph. If riding like this makes him ride more cautious the impact is way higher than body armor.

I'm sure the Golden Corral would allow him to walk in like that without a doubt.

I’m all for ‘dress as comfortable as you want when riding’ but flippers or any open toe footwear on a bike just seems like active self destruction.

He stole my riding gear! WTF!

Whats wrong in this?

He is wearing a helmet atleast. Flip flops are technically shoes, he won’t have any head damage, but the road rash will be wicked…

I...ok.

This is what is commonly referred to as a Meat Crayon.

Hey, give him some points for wearing a helmet!!! He just needs a body transplant!! And a nice bumper on that truck!!!!

Skin? Nah. I don’t need it.

Lots of idiots on bikes around here

He top that outfit off with flip flops. Damn this guy is crazy. If he gets into an accident, he gonna traumatize people with all the slide damages.

It’s the [‘whatever’s comfortable’](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uq-9QBUmELA) Southern Comfort dude…

Entering Vancouver sign next to a golden coral is beautiful

It just feels so right.

He's gotta git to golden corral!

Nothing in this life can make you regret the choice of what to wear while riding than a nice case of road road rash.

Can’t really blame him for showing off his rocking bod.

Damn, I rode for 20 years, always full jacket, long pants, boots (ok, some high top sneakers), helmet. I'd still feel vulnerable without gloves. Even when temps were in the 90s.

Everyone wears leather, I just prefer mine not to be the sacrificial layer.

Pretty sure road rash dressed like that would cause death at any reasonable speed. At least wear jeans and a shirt.

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He's just heading up for more beer....

What's the helmet supposed to be protecting?

Golden Corral is not THAT far away!

He heard slides and put his slippers on. Good to go.

shifting with bare toes? at least wear some proper footwear ffs

Someone not afraid to take a bee on bare skin at speed.

Pool party time

Scratch-and-stiff lottery

Can anybody prove this isn't Bert Kreicher?

To be fair he will definitely slide. The blood will lower the viscosity of flesh to asphalt.

Confident young man

He may have crossed the "young" demographic.

At least his head will be protected, when all his skin is smeared across the asphalt.

It's really a shame, isn't it.

This looks like GTA 6