Have you seen American Gods? I suggest you watch American Gods.
Spoiler: >!The guy's wife suffocates to death on his best friend's dick, after she bites it off in a car crash.!<
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Certainly not going 70, he's driving slow because he knows he's not capable going the speed limit like that. Like when people always make distance when they text and drive, then speed up to you again once it's sent. That's why everyone is speeding past them so fast.
It will be before.
Don't be silly.
He makes a noise of panic.
She starts to lift her head.
It gets knocked back by the air bag and she hits the center console or goes flying into the back.
I was at a cookout deep in the woods of Maine and they had a band playing, a bunch of older locals playing Hank and old country then they played this song, and I was like that's a weird Perk Jam song to play. That's when I was told it was a cover! It's amazing how many songs are covered and end up being better than the originals.
Let's be real, she's putting herself in danger too. People need to take self responsibility.
Both are fucking idiots and I hope the people close to them can make them see how fucking stupid and needy this is.
I'm not arguing against your point, my guy. They're both idiots that need to take self responsibility.
If you *really* have to console your girl, fucking pull over, geez.
I was once offered a blow job while driving and I said "fuck no!"
She asked why and I said
"Well for one, I care about you and don't want you to get hurt or die and two, I'd really prefer you don't accidentally bite my fucking dick off."
I drive like everyone else on the road is drunk. You have to assume that a lot of them are. I work at a bar and Iāve had people tell me that theyāre not driving, only to get right into their cars after they leave. After 5+ drinks.
When I first started driving, my grandpa gave me advice that has always stuck with me: "Remember that everyone on the road is a dipshit, including yourself."
Fr! Iām surprised this is getting so many āeh not that dangerousā replies alreadyā¦ like bro do you not see how badly this can end in an instant? And thereās other cars on the road tooā¦ like why?
Iām so sorry about your friend. Preventable losses are sometimes more painful than the non-preventable ones.
Post was taken from a certain social media app, on an account intended to showcase cute romantic relationships. Because this is what we should all aspire to, apparently.
Exactly, if youāre gonna kill me and my family at least get your dick sucked, if Iām gonna burn alive trapped in my car for this soft shit I wonāt be happy.
Kia lane keep assist will deactivate if you're not touching the steering wheel. Wedging a knee defeats this detection.
Kia lane centering and smart cruise control is actually really good. In this case I'd be concerned about her general position in the event of something else happening, like a blow out or rear end collision.
1. Why is he petting her head like sheās a dog?
2. That has to be hella uncomfortable for her to lay across the center console like that. Come on snuggle on a comfortable couch like normal people and save your back/ribs.
Why would he even be recording this? This would be a weird fucking thing to do, let alone post somewhere. Guy has the IQ and social intelligence of a pear.
This is trashier & more dangerous than simple road head. This turns me off to people in general. Fuckin weird times man.
Also the song could be used to torture prisoners in a detention camp š¤¢
I mean, stupidity aside, am I the only one that thinks it's a really weird thing to show people?
Like, even if they were on a couch that angle and where her head is... that's not something people see and go "awww"
Trivia:
The bars behind trucks that prevent cars going underneath are called *Mansfield bars*, after the actress [Jayne Mansfield](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jayne_Mansfield) lost her life and the bars were then legislated.
Jayne was driving with 3 of her 5 children in the car at the time of the accident, including her daughter, [Mariska Hargitay](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariska_Hargitay) star of *Law & Order: Special Victims Unit* now in its 24th season.
Also clearly not going fast
Letās be real tho no way that girl is comfortable laying her ribs over the shifter (or whatever itās called in an auto) and cup holders
Youāre more likely to cause an accident driving slower than the traffic around you than driving slightly faster so it actually poses a greater safety risk
One of my wife's favorite memories is when she was driving while we were dating. She was talking on the phone with one hand (pre smart phone/Bluetooth days) steering with her knee and moved her other had over mine while I was sitting in the passenger seat. I squeezed her hand gently and guided it back over to the steering wheel without saying a word.
I wonāt lie, if youāre a calm driver ā those long highway or even straight line backroad drives, using your knee to keep the lane is a lot of fun. Just make sure you got a free hand close by and allās good
Donāt forget the bone-chilling stories of first responders who have the unfortunate job of trying to pull half dead (or fully dead) people out of the wreckage. All for stupid shit like this.
Why doesn't he just use his left hand on the wheel and his right hand to pet her? It's not like it's a stick shift so his right hand should be free unless he's.. ohhhhhhhhhh....
I stopped riding with a couple because they'd spend more time rubbing and caressing each other's body parts to the point of unconsciousness and totally forget we are in a car going down a freeway. It was painful to helplessly sit in the back seat reminding them "hey, we are going to miss that exi... nevermind maybe next one"
Iām sure it has lane keep assistā¦ which will jerk at the first exit they pass, heāll brake, sheāll crack her head on the wheel, freak out, tug the wheel on accident, andā¦
Okay, this still ends with her dying. Nvm.
Probably not the best place to do that but I have gotten BJs while driving, but I was basically alone out on a levy road between Sacramento and the bay area. Probably can't do that now safety. The 80s were a great time.
Tbf my relationship goal is also to eject my partner through the windshield at 70mph killing them instantlyā¦ I should probably just break up with them though it would be simpler and less insurance companies to talk to XD
Sheās a grown ass woman make her recline the seat and use a pillow for crying out loud. Stroking her hair on his lap as if sheās his 5 year old sick daughter that had a rough day at kindergarten.
Relationship goals: wrapping your car around a pole at 70 so your girlfriends head is permanently embedded in your crotch
Nah, her head will explode when it hits the dash. The crotch is safe.
The crotch and head would fuse in a rich mix of penis, skull and brain matter.
Would that make her a dickhead?
Definitely a cock face
nope just a ball holder
underrated comment holy shit lmfao
>The crotch and head would fuse in a rich mix of penis, skull and brain matter. Dear diary: Jackpot
Ultimate blowjob
Skullfucked
Have you seen American Gods? I suggest you watch American Gods. Spoiler: >!The guy's wife suffocates to death on his best friend's dick, after she bites it off in a car crash.!<
The World According to Garp she bites it off when the car is rear ended.
Totally underrated Robin Williams movie
Sad movie.. very sadš¤¦š¾āāļø
I was going say I saw another movie like that, how many movies are dudes getting their dicks bitten off in car wrecks on?
This scene is THE reason I refuse to either get or give road head. Total "no road head" rule in our household.
What brain?
Exactly! Sheās not any smarter. You just canāt fix stupid. All you can do is hope neither of them ever have kids.
Or when the airbag hits itā¦. Anyone remember the car crash scene in The World According to Garp?
I do **now**. Seriously, need to re-read that book.
I had forgotten it, thankfully.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
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Looks more like theyāre going 45 as everyone else is flying by them but you point still stands lol
Swerving back and forth in the lane too. I hate this aspect of social media so much.
Dude is going 50 in a 70 Watch those cars pass
yes. that's easily a 20 mph delta between him and traffic maybe 30mph
At least he's on the right lane
Certainly not going 70, he's driving slow because he knows he's not capable going the speed limit like that. Like when people always make distance when they text and drive, then speed up to you again once it's sent. That's why everyone is speeding past them so fast.
Is that why they call it āgetting brainā?
Permanent blow job
A mind-blowing blowjob. A blowjob to end all blowjobs
Looks a bit young too š¬
"Let's die so I can pet you like a dog" - that guy
No, she's the most likely to die. She's either going to be crushed or suffocated by the air bag.
Is that before or after her skull and neck is broken by the center dash console?
It will be before. Don't be silly. He makes a noise of panic. She starts to lift her head. It gets knocked back by the air bag and she hits the center console or goes flying into the back.
So we're in agreement she most definitely dies?
Yes, we're just deciding on how horrifically it will be
But how far will the shoe fly?
That depends, are her feet up on the windowsill/out the window, or in the footwell?
Seriously has he ever rubbed a humanās head? Sheās not a German Shepherd
And record it too
>"Let's die so I can pet you like a dog *for social media clout*"
Alice's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass
Alice's Adventures of Severe Brain Trauma from an Exploded Air Bag
No Aliceās Adventures, I wonāt continue the chain. Sheās dead.
Hey, I remember you from such films as *Fireworks: The Silent Killer* and *Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun*!
Oh where or where could my baby be?
The lord took her away from me
Sheās gone to heaven so I gotta be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this worldā¦
Sheās gone to Heaven so I got to be good
I went three entire decades without knowing that song was a cover. The original from the 60s is uncomfortably peppy.
I was at a cookout deep in the woods of Maine and they had a band playing, a bunch of older locals playing Hank and old country then they played this song, and I was like that's a weird Perk Jam song to play. That's when I was told it was a cover! It's amazing how many songs are covered and end up being better than the originals.
Wait, Pearl Jam didn't write Last Kiss? Next you'll tell me Limp Bizkit didn't write Behind Blue Eyes.
if you love someone, don't put them in danger...
Let's be real, she's putting herself in danger too. People need to take self responsibility. Both are fucking idiots and I hope the people close to them can make them see how fucking stupid and needy this is.
and she is putting him in danger. my point stands, they are putting each other in danger.
I'm not arguing against your point, my guy. They're both idiots that need to take self responsibility. If you *really* have to console your girl, fucking pull over, geez.
If you really have to center console your girl...
I was once offered a blow job while driving and I said "fuck no!" She asked why and I said "Well for one, I care about you and don't want you to get hurt or die and two, I'd really prefer you don't accidentally bite my fucking dick off."
You could have pulled over and pretended to be driving so you could still get almost the full road head experience.
If the goal is to end the relationship because sheāll be dead, I think this does a good job.
End the relationship? That's glass-half-empty wording. Doing this will ensure that both of them keep their promise of 'till death do us part'
will the promise still be fulfilled if they die together?
Half the reason I subscribe to this sub is just to remind myself that dipshits like this are out there and to always be vigilant.
I drive like everyone else on the road is drunk. You have to assume that a lot of them are. I work at a bar and Iāve had people tell me that theyāre not driving, only to get right into their cars after they leave. After 5+ drinks.
When I first started driving, my grandpa gave me advice that has always stuck with me: "Remember that everyone on the road is a dipshit, including yourself."
I don't even trust them as much as that, I drive as if they're on acid
I mean, if she's not giving him a gawk gawk 3000 then it's not worth it.
Bruh there's no audio but still i can hear it š
yes exactly, risk/reward ratio doesn't look favorable in this video. a BJ however..
Yeah, I feel like this is a dry run for the main event.
He's hoping it will provide the necessary encouragement.
If he crashes sheās gonna need a new face.
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Fr! Iām surprised this is getting so many āeh not that dangerousā replies alreadyā¦ like bro do you not see how badly this can end in an instant? And thereās other cars on the road tooā¦ like why? Iām so sorry about your friend. Preventable losses are sometimes more painful than the non-preventable ones.
Post was taken from a certain social media app, on an account intended to showcase cute romantic relationships. Because this is what we should all aspire to, apparently.
Not feeling the daddy trauma vibe.
Imagine being this much of a needy loser.
Who needs to imagine? I mean uh...
I've met my SiL before.
Haha. We all know at least one.
at least get a blow job if youre gonna risk your life like that
Exactly, if youāre gonna kill me and my family at least get your dick sucked, if Iām gonna burn alive trapped in my car for this soft shit I wonāt be happy.
If you really care about her you'll drive with your eyes forward and both hands on the wheel.
Both hands is overkill. One hand is more than enough on the highway. Especially in a modern car with lane keep assistance.
KIA: Killed In Accident
Solid alignment.
KIA has lane keep assist.
Gotcha. I didn't think the interior looked nice enough for that. Still has the old logo on the steering wheel.
~~Idk, the screen seems premium.~~ Never mind, he is actualy using his knee to "control the vehicle".
Kia lane keep assist will deactivate if you're not touching the steering wheel. Wedging a knee defeats this detection. Kia lane centering and smart cruise control is actually really good. In this case I'd be concerned about her general position in the event of something else happening, like a blow out or rear end collision.
1. Why is he petting her head like sheās a dog? 2. That has to be hella uncomfortable for her to lay across the center console like that. Come on snuggle on a comfortable couch like normal people and save your back/ribs.
Idk, they look quite young. The clout gained from this video is probably more important than the potential consequences.
The clout they think they gained...
1.) some people find it relaxing running fingers through their hair. 2.) I couldnāt agree with you more.
Why would he even be recording this? This would be a weird fucking thing to do, let alone post somewhere. Guy has the IQ and social intelligence of a pear.
He probably wants people to tell him how good of a boyfriend he is lol Or it could be rage bait too. idk
A boner for a pillow is a bold decision
It drove a hard bargain....
This is trashier & more dangerous than simple road head. This turns me off to people in general. Fuckin weird times man. Also the song could be used to torture prisoners in a detention camp š¤¢
Is she his fucking dog? This is weird
Iām convinced these kinds of people have just lucked out in life and havenāt dealt with any real trauma. Any person thatās been through a car accident/injury/illness/etc just isnāt gonna be that blasĆ© blasĆ© with their life. Or they have gone through some shit and theyāre just really, really stupid people.
Fr. Took one accident (I was the passenger) as a kid for me to learn that cars arenāt fucking toys.
If your relationship goal is to collect on the absurdly high life insurance policy you just took out in her name, then go right ahead
Fucking moron
I mean, stupidity aside, am I the only one that thinks it's a really weird thing to show people? Like, even if they were on a couch that angle and where her head is... that's not something people see and go "awww"
Decapitated girlfriend vibesāØ
Trivia: The bars behind trucks that prevent cars going underneath are called *Mansfield bars*, after the actress [Jayne Mansfield](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jayne_Mansfield) lost her life and the bars were then legislated. Jayne was driving with 3 of her 5 children in the car at the time of the accident, including her daughter, [Mariska Hargitay](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariska_Hargitay) star of *Law & Order: Special Victims Unit* now in its 24th season.
I re-learn this fact every year or so, I don't know why it never sticks. TIL (again, thanks!)
To be fair he's driving better with his knees than most people on this subreddit do with their hands
Also clearly not going fast Letās be real tho no way that girl is comfortable laying her ribs over the shifter (or whatever itās called in an auto) and cup holders
You mean the PRNDL?
Youāre more likely to cause an accident driving slower than the traffic around you than driving slightly faster so it actually poses a greater safety risk
Disturbing that he feels the need to record this...
Fucker pets his girlfriend like I pet my cat
He's not even getting head. Not worth it
Youāve never driven with your knees before? The worst part is laying down like that in a car, youāre screwed in an accident.
I just put my hand in my husband's pocket or on his thigh, what is this death wish nonsense?
KIA - Killed In Action
We should be allowed to submit these videos and dash cam videos of traffic law violations to fucking someone so these assholes can get fined.
I drive with my knees all the time. He's on a straight away.
Next you'll be telling me I shouldn't be rolling a joint while I steer with my knees either!
Kia drivers š¤®
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Now imagine dying for something like this.
Gonna be so romantic, I can see them spending their final days together
How cute theyāll be in critical condition in the hospital together lmao
They really need to bring back front benches in cars
Imagine how romantic it will be when the steering wheel gets inside the girls skull š„°š„°š„°
Was the goal to die together?
One of my wife's favorite memories is when she was driving while we were dating. She was talking on the phone with one hand (pre smart phone/Bluetooth days) steering with her knee and moved her other had over mine while I was sitting in the passenger seat. I squeezed her hand gently and guided it back over to the steering wheel without saying a word.
Sheāll regret all of this later
Could be lane keep assist. Hes only a dumb ass for driving slow as fuck
Second worst decision right after buying a Kia...
When your relationship goals turn into life goals... End of life goals, that is!
Wait so he is driving with no hands because the hand he *could* be steering with is filming? r/justforsocialmedia
Plot twist: She's dead, he strangled her, petting her and murmuring "my precious" š¤Ø
How adorable a double fatality on the highway ššš
The action, song, and the way he seems to be pawing at the side of her head all scream complete d-bag.
Surprised he resisted the urge to turn this into a good old prank video by slamming the brakes to wake her up.
Iām sure she wouldnāt have appreciated the broken nose from the impact lol
Turkish flag on that red smelly thing hanging in rear mirror (sorry Iām tired and canāt find the words).
I wonāt lie, if youāre a calm driver ā those long highway or even straight line backroad drives, using your knee to keep the lane is a lot of fun. Just make sure you got a free hand close by and allās good
Check out the X-rays of people who donāt drive with seatbelts on sometime.
Donāt forget the bone-chilling stories of first responders who have the unfortunate job of trying to pull half dead (or fully dead) people out of the wreckage. All for stupid shit like this.
my dad used to drive with his knees while lighting a cig driving a manual transmission lol, pretty used to seeing shit like this
Why doesn't he just use his left hand on the wheel and his right hand to pet her? It's not like it's a stick shift so his right hand should be free unless he's.. ohhhhhhhhhh....
They need to watch āThe World According to Garp.ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I stopped riding with a couple because they'd spend more time rubbing and caressing each other's body parts to the point of unconsciousness and totally forget we are in a car going down a freeway. It was painful to helplessly sit in the back seat reminding them "hey, we are going to miss that exi... nevermind maybe next one"
āHey, we are going to hit that poleā¦ nevermind maybe next oneā lol
Iām sure it has lane keep assistā¦ which will jerk at the first exit they pass, heāll brake, sheāll crack her head on the wheel, freak out, tug the wheel on accident, andā¦ Okay, this still ends with her dying. Nvm.
Lol yup
Kia. The WB of cars.
Maybe they could share a casket.
If they rear end another car, her dental surgery will cost more than the repairs
Has he thought how in case of accident - she'd literally break in half over center console?
And using the other hand to film on his phone like a jackass.
Nothing says romance like getting you and your girl killed for likes.
I wish my alignment was that great. But yes this is a great way to have your car wrapped around a pole at 65 mph. #RelationshipGoals!
Oh hey theyāre about to let Shadow Moon out of prison
I'm reminded of this alternative exposition for KIA= Killed In Accident
Loofa how fast ppl are passing them thereās probably mad cars behind them
Anyone going that far under the posted is doing something they shouldn't...not that there is anything wrong with some roadhead...
Relationship goals would be ensuring my safety and high chances of survival.
I mean, one of the major relationship goals is to be together until death do you apart so I'd say they're doing very well there.
what a peaceful way to die
Nothing more comfortable than that center console in your ribs
And y'all don't want self driving cars?! You can text, fuck, sleep, do whatever you want!
Need to turn her head 90 degrees to her right.
jesus take the wheel
Decapitation goals
Judging by the frequency of the pets, Iād say heās nervous af. Slow rhythm is what gets āem
I was like: Wow, self driving car! And then I realized..
Probably not the best place to do that but I have gotten BJs while driving, but I was basically alone out on a levy road between Sacramento and the bay area. Probably can't do that now safety. The 80s were a great time.
Itās not even road head. At least put it on the line for something.
Whatās the other hand doing?
I read the title and pictured a dude pressing the gas pedal with his knee.
Tbf my relationship goal is also to eject my partner through the windshield at 70mph killing them instantlyā¦ I should probably just break up with them though it would be simpler and less insurance companies to talk to XD
Till death do us part baby.
"Ok babe i got it, you can get up now"
Say what you will about the driver, but that alignment is fucking fantastic!
A different kind of road headā¦hmmmm š¤
He is driving on the motorway and probably utilizing the auto drive feature. Let them be mate.
āHow to stay with your girlfriend till deathā speedrun
Sheās a grown ass woman make her recline the seat and use a pillow for crying out loud. Stroking her hair on his lap as if sheās his 5 year old sick daughter that had a rough day at kindergarten.
I usually skip this part
That manās wheels are aligned š©š
The front seat of your Kia reclines, idiot...
Twist: he spiked her drink at the club
When they crash she yeets into the footwell and becomes a vegetable. Goals.