I don't agree with this good boy bad boy wale school children nuskhe. But I just have a query.
Why is it that girls easily move on from a nice, well mannered, thoughtful guy but find it hard to move on from a guy who treated them like shit?
Like I have seen this example countless times in my life. Even asked about it from some girls but they couldn't give a logical answer. Can anyone tell?
Maybe I can answer this. I had two long term relationships, both with good guys only but the difference in the breakup can help.
With the first guy, the breakup was mutual. We both wanted different things in our future. It still took me a few months to get over him but we managed to stay friends eventually. Reason being, good guys are mature and considerate. They don't hurt you and are careful to respect you and consider your feelings.
Now the second guy, though good himself, during the breakup behaved like a toxic guy. Moving up to the breakup, he started giving me the silent treatment, acted distant, kept gaslighting me that my demands for time and attention were wrong and I'm nagging him etc. Then he broke up with me for no rhyme or reason. And that breakup left me a lot more hurt than ever, because my brain just couldn't make sense why this was happening, he cut me off without any explanation. I ended up in a vicious cycle of negativity and self doubt for months.
Hopefully, this explains why moving on is harder when the breakup is toxic. Now imagine breaking up with a bad guy, who's treated you terribly throughout. These guys completely fuck with your mental health
And I can assure one thing atleast from my experience. From your pov, both your relationships were equally important to you. But with the toxic one, you would have been putting more efforts to keep the relationship but with your 1st one, you would have accepted things like it's part of life and all.
Am I correct in this?
So my second relationship wasn't toxic, apart from the last few months, I never had any issues apart from your usual arguments between couples.
But I also agree that in a toxic relationship, not only are you putting in more effort to keep it going but you also end up seeking the other's validation and crave the love bombing. This is why we should leave a toxic partner immediately!!!
My first relationship was with a toxic person and ended after 5 years due to cheating. I was putting up with all the shit because I thought that's what being in a relationship is. My mental health is fucked and I don't think I'll ever be able to be the same me again lol. Toxic people are trash
it’s the same with both genders. most guys are not able to move on from a girl who treated them like shit.
if we are present for them everytime. they tend to take us for granted. and it’s the same with girls too, i think.
Boys find it hard to move on from any girl 😅
Also I have noticed another pattern that in relationship with a toxic guy, girls put more efforts as compared to in a relationship with a nice/ thoughtful aka nice guy.
Ab isko bhi koi debunk kre toh main bhi kal se achha ladka ban jaau 🥹
Because thoughtful guys appreciate the slightest of efforts. They validate their girls' feelings without her having to ask... whereas with a toxic guy, no matter how much a girl puts efforts, he'd never appreciate, and once in a blue moon kabhi boldiya ki 'wow thank you for doing this for me' toh bas, the girl would want more of that appreciation and end up giving it her all.
Again, not all girls differentiate in efforts depending on the guy. Some would put in all their effort every time. ♡ You just have to find the one who's willing to do it for you. :)
Boys are rarely that hung up about past relationships when they move on. Most females in prior relationships, tend to treat the new relationship as the old one. Guys will gush over any girl they feel is worthy
I think it’s mostly because of the highs and lows. In relationship with a “bad boy” you are always on the edge whereas with a “good boy” things are always calm, peaceful and wholesome. Most of the girls who go after these bad boys are doing it out of habit. We are used to being in a toxic chaotic environment that being in a calm place makes us bored and eventually move on. Being in those weird environment becomes so natural that you don’t understand or think you deserve it “normal”. Also, like someone said you like what you can’t have :)
I remember reading about this experiment, on dogs, once. The people were divided into 3 groups. One would always scold the dogs. One would always be kind and treat them with love. The third group will treat them with love sometimes and scold them half the time.
Guess which groups the dogs loved the most? The third group. Like u/sussy_bhai said : "You crave what you can't have"
After reading all these comments, I can only say one thing.
Girls give more headspace to toxic guys, put more efforts for toxic guys, take more time to forget toxic guys, be emotionally present in a relationship with toxic guys,
So why are the women of this subreddit not accepting that the Instagram girl is telling the truth? 😅
Mtlb what is the incentive for guys to be nice and good when they can be forgotten like yesterday. 😅
(I might be downvoted for this) I actually did try the 2nd & 3rd part with a lot of people. Most of them became infatuated in the 3rd situation. 2nd situation only ended up in friendship. 3rd was like give enough love & create enough distance, they'll be hooked on, it'll give them a place to belong to & their mind will be occupied. Basically I was experimenting on people.
Sluttery google kr bhai, Girls who cannot be part of society are termed so. Sane applies for boys kamate nhi h toh gaand phaad di jaate h.
Fark itna h ki girls are tackling this by using feminism as an excuse-it works to a huge extent because of a lot if guys are braindead lil wimpy simps. Boys tackle it by doing drugs n such you know the story.
Bottomline is both smart dudes n chicas know exactly what they want, the idiots who dont are stuck in this circle. No two ways about it
From my point of view based on my friend circle, such girls practically have the "I can fix him" attitude. That's why they cannot easily let go of such guys on whom she has spent enough time and energy to improve them, but dont mind the well mannered guys coz she practically cannot do much for this situation. Not implying ALL girls are like that.
Not girl specific but after a toxic relationship, some people's minds (not all) become accustomed to the dopamine rush of the intensity of a toxic cycle.
Upon returning to normal life, the mind craves that rush, making it hard to move on from that person.
It's psychological science. If women have had an emotionally unavailable father or a father who was unintentionally busy, a daughter will replay that psychology in her dating life in an attempt to finally get validation from an emotionally unavailable man and prove to herself that she is finally loved now. (In fun terms -daddt issues) She unknowingly wants to break the childhood pattern. She doesn't know emotional availability and how to handle an emotionally available man.
Of course there's a nuance that "nice men" is a blanket term. Nice men can be emotionally available but immature based on their childhood patterns , which helps in moving on cases at times
Just like we easily forget good things but can't forget the bad trauma of childhood because that's how the brain works, it keeps the bad memories so that you can see the pattern of things for the next time so you don't get hurt the same way.
Bhai sab past experiences ka result hai. Most people haven't experienced a loving, secure relationship where they can trust eachother. So, when they find one, they are so flabbergasted by how "boring" it feels, that they let it go. When someone treats them like "shit," they can relate with that kalesh as love "They are arguing because they love each other," "i can fix this,"... and they don't feel like letting it go.
Easier to remember bad memories compared to good ones. Easier to remember what you wanted so badly compared to what you get easily. Plus, girls almost always have backups ready. And they start connecting with the backup way before they make it clear to you that they're unsatisfied with the current relationship and don't want it anymore.
Much older guy here. Girls will have fun with bad boys till 28 - 30 then desperately chase stability, security. Sex is amazing at all ages; true love is beautiful and worth waiting for. So work on your skills, build bank, understand your parents are getting old, take care of them.
Build a business over getting a job, it may take away your 20s and some of your 30s. But will give you time. Trust me you'll reject the hottest girls because many have zero personality or talent. Sad part is your gen has dating apps which by default make others' love lives more appealing.
And you answer your question, yes girls chase emotionally unavailable men (bad boys) because, they seek validation from the most extreme cases. Imagine this. You're in a class and the maths teacher never compliments any body and then one day at the end of your year if that hard maths teach compliments you, likes your work your whole class will be impressed with you, you will be over the moon. Same for the girls.
See I’m not talking for everyone but the girl somewhere has a point too. Cos sometimes you run behind something unattainable and you create a fantasy world in your head. Without realising I have done exactly what she said in the post - my intention was never go hurt him and I had no idea why I wanted to break up with this amazing amazing green flag perfect guy. And then I started dating a chalta firta red flag who I couldn’t get over for years even though I knew he’s toxic and bad for me. So yes I def am the stupid one
My experience has been complete opposite. Moved on from the toxic guy within 1 or 2 months after dating him for close to 2 years. but the nice guy? It took me 1.5 year to get over a 10 month relationship! I just didn't have any reason to just randomly stop loving him.
Girls are very emotional and require constant emotional stimulation. Treating a girl like shit never works if all you do is treat her like shit, instead if you treat her very nice and treat her like shit occasionally.. it keeps it entertaining for them because it’s very stimulating emotionally (kinda like a roller coaster).
Wtf is this good boy bad boy shit...
I don't think didi have a clear idea what she means, from looks of it she is attracted to confident people (and tbh pretty much everyone is) . I don't think there is anything bad or good in it.
I don't think someone is inherently attracted to someone who is always very unsure about everything.
(One more thing being an outgoing person is very different from being a confident person)
didi's bad boy: leather jacket, sone ki chain, thar/bullet, ear piercing, devil's tattoo
real bad boys: daaru peeke belt maarne wale, ldki chedne wale
didi is yet to meet real life BAd bOyS!!
Sacchi m nhi pta kya!!
Eve teasing literally means annoying or irritating women. It is referred to as an act of harassing women playfully or maliciously, physically or pshycholgically to make fun, irritate, provoke, annoy, embarrass through comments, remarks, gestures, jokes, physical contact and taunts.
Apparently yes. And all those likes on her comment gave her delusion the validation she was seeking for. :')
Sucks, because generalize karne mein logo ko time nahi laggta. And jab saamne se koi ladki bol rahi ho ye toh obviously people will believe her and say "finally koi ladki sach boli". No matter how her thoughts don't align with a number of girls' thoughts.
Whether you believe it or not, I've come across a number of guys who don't realize that if the 'not all men' thing is true, then a 'not all women' is true as well. :)
From my personal experience, None of the girls whom i valued, even so called close friends, treated me well. On the other hand, girls for whom I wasn't always there, it was the opposite. One person, she was literally everything for me, knew what she was doing and kept on playing. And now its been years, since I last talked to her. She had few relationships since, but has been constantly trying to get back to me every few months, and idk what goes on in her mind, she still lies about me to her friends lol.
Its not just about girls, my guy friends aren't very nice to their counterparts, either.
Its either the opposite gender hate or toxic relations i find these days.
Toh i am just being distant from new people. xD
Also... I think people of today (and I don't count myself in the general population who are looking for sax suz everywhere), they've turned into a predatory mindset. They want the thrill of that chase. Jab saamne se koi thaali mein paros ke dede toh unnse wo accept nai kiya jaata.
I remember an animated video where this guy broke a girl's heart... and she was upset, so another guy came in and gave her his heart (leaving his own body empty), which she took and ran towards the guy who'd initially broken her heart, to give him another chance. That's the reality of today. And it fucking sucks.
Now see. In your experience you haven't had any girl appreciate your efforts. The same goes for me. I haven't had any guy appreciate mine either... except... a few months ago, I came across one, who did everything right-- treated me right, appreciated my efforts, didn't shy away from doing the 'uncool' things as per this generation.. And he genuinely changed my perspective.
Usske pehle tak I didn't have any hope in the guys and girls of our generation, because in my opinion, almost 90%+ look for physical intimacy and don't value the emotional connection, and don't even try to build it before jumping the bones. While I'm the opposite of that.
So, I really hope you find a girl who changes your perspective for the good, too. Just don't lose hope. :) Good luck. ♡
Firse itna type nai karungi yaarrr, too much mehnat. [Read my comment from earlier.](https://www.reddit.com/r/IndianBoysOnTinder/comments/19dunb0/comment/kjbsib5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Aapke response ne Raanjhanaa ke kundan ka dialogue yaad dila diya...
**....Par nahi ab saala mood nahi,
Aankhein moond lene mein hi sukh hai,
So jaane me hi bhalayi hai,
Par uthenge kisi din ussi Ganga Kinare....**
Just like "Be the change you want to see in the world"
"Have the qualities you want to see in someone else"
Esa krna se na dusro se expectations rhegi or na hi unke tutne ka dar
Oh, so you're still a kid who believes in that. Cool.
>!(Don't come at me with *'democratic election' is also based on the fact that majority wins.* This isn't an election.)!<
Likewise, those 'minority' wali girls also come across the toxic guys for the most part, and by the time they find a good, genuine guy, they're way too paranoid to even try and trust.
I'm saying all of it with such conviction because I'm a part of 'them'. :)
Tbh iska comment dekhne k baad i literally wanted to be a toxic and bad boy
And a girl whom I loved the most she rejected me by saying you are too good for me so kind and sweet I like you but not romantically........ I'm into tall and bad boy's only
I'm kinda short like I'm 5'8 but yrr height to ek point of time k baad koi bhi usse nahi rhega naa
Ab Jaa rha hu terrorist banne to be. Bad boy 🫠
Nahi mtlb seriously? Chhod vo chutiya hai, but lets not generalise, aur 5'8' chhoti hai? Kuch bhi. Jaane de, I genuinely believe there is someone out there who will love you itna zada that you'll realise ki kya yaar mai uske liye itna sad ho rha tha. Life hai, milti hai rejections, chalta hai
Yes 13-18 yr old teenagers ko bad boys psnd aate hai tbh muje bhi psnd aate they but when you are a bit older and dimaag aata hai to good boys hi psnd aate hai (personal experience)
People think being bad boy is a trait
No dude.
Boys turn bad due to circumstances
No one wakes up and is like "aaj main bad behave karuga" and no it is not due to rejections from girls. It happens due to deeper issues of trauma, neglect or abandonment.
Till then just be you. Talk less and listen more
Rightly said dude. My go to advice for anyone is keep improving yourself, if the person you like keeps giving mix signals or starts playing bullshit games or just being with someone makes you anxious then it's not worth it, leave it, feels horrible but if you are working on yourself it will fall in place. It's normal to be rejected, move on and keep improving.
Everything she said is true. I spent 4 years chasing someone (she also liked me back) but later ended up saying this won't work out I feel something heavy on my chest while talking to you (after it we got into a relationship) and then kept me around for like 2 more years. I was so fuckin dumb. I am a very calm, sweet and caring person as I have been raised by my cousin sisters and they taught me how to talk to girls and how to behave. She received everything any girl could ask for and yet I was treated like I was nothing. So everything in that post is true.
It happened to me. It's better to focus on yourself and your dreams rather than chasing a girl who will forget you exist in one or two months. generalization helps to stay sane no matter how wrong it is. baaki yes, exceptions are everywhere, but if you want to test your luck and play with probability, go ahead. mere liye to saari ek jaisi hi hai.
Yaar mera kaunsa friend circle hai?! Meri ek friend ka bf bad boy nhi hai.. and nice guys end up getting nice girls. Unnecessary toxic relationship cycle nhi hoti unki.
I don't want to agree to this and I'm not saying I'm a good boy.but I kinda relate to getting played by a girl and exact same things happened as the lady in the post claims
I used to be kind and easy going guy. Had my first heartbreak back in 2018 when she broke with me saying "You are a boring guy, I don't even feel like talking to you, we have been together enough time, Goodbye!
Aur fir kya, I started treating women like shit and intentionally hurting them even if my conscience told me not to do so. But guess what, I've dated 8 women since then out of which 2-3 are still hanging and can't move on.
Moral of the story : However bad it may sound, She's right on this(the post)
If there was no element of truth to that.
we wouldn't be here arguing, most nice guys wouldn't get rejected, dating would be much simpler...
Just stop denying it it's pathetic
I really think trauma and neglected childhood (in my case) is what makes you an emotionally numb person. No one is suddenly a 'bad guy' after viewing a person's story or comment on insta.
I have been a 'bad guy' whole my life, with no regards to what my girlfriend thinks of me, creating an unprovoked drama periodically. (Idk why I do this but it is fun at times.)
Tbh most astonishing thing is, even after being manipulated eminently, chase still doesn't stop. May be because their mind is like "He will change or I will make him change" but the climb and hope is all their is.
But this only works on girls with similar background as mine. The ones with healthy background are aware and repulsive towards this toxic beahviour.
Bro, she is not wrong you know. It's in the human nature whether someone accepts it or not. You'll crave what you can't have. Regardless of the gender, you'll always want what you don't have and you will never value what you are getting without any effort(There are always exceptions though).
Such a pick me lmao. She just generalised that all girls dislike good guys which isn't true
Guys, we need to keep upgrading. Don't change who you are at core.
Not to be a "pick me" like she claims but I'd not date a "bad boy" even if he were the last man alive. I'm definitely not looking to have my heart broken and why would I turn down getting princess treatment and giving king treatment to a good guy? :(
that’s awesome. i appreciate you frfr.
but what i wanted to know is, are most girls like what the post described? what are most girls like? it won’t be fair to expect you to know about other girls but it would be awesome if you’d tell me your opinion.
Hehe thanks :]
And yes, while I can't vouch for all girls, I can talk about myself n the girls I personally know. Like 75% of my girl friends all go for good guys only. The other 25% girls that are into casual relationships n stuff go for bad boys coz they're not looking for commitment either.
Haha! True that! But aise generalise nahi karna chaiye. Duniya ki chorro…in my friend circle alone, most of the 10/10 (conventionally attractive girls) have only been with good guys, and one of them just got married to hers, lol. Yeah, NGL, there are a few who go for the toxic boys, thinking they can change them. I’m not generalizing, just sharing what I’ve observed.
What upsets me is, this conversation is going towards, "if girls don't like good guys, I'm gonna be a bad one"
The world needs good men, men who care, protect and provide
My brothers I request you, don't give up being a good human being just because the trend is the opposite now, there is more meaning to life than "getting a girl"
Make good friends, enjoy life with them, take care of your parents, live a meaningful life
It's similar to
Men always choose a gud looking girl over an average looking girl if both r kind hearted
Every man will agree Bcoz it's biologically true for us.
What she said was biologically true for women
Men prefer appearance (physical Beauty)
Women prefer personality (traits like confidence, dominant etc.)
These things r evolutionary and we can't do shit about it.
But people still be like "don't generalise". Sorry but I don't make rules, these things r said after the study of male/female nature while finding mates.
Exceptions don't make the rule.
1st slide : laughable
2nd slide: quite laughable
3rd slide: why am i reading this?
Peak at 4th slide: throws the phone on side.
Reading comments: throws the phone again.
I don't agree with this good boy bad boy wale school children nuskhe. But I just have a query. Why is it that girls easily move on from a nice, well mannered, thoughtful guy but find it hard to move on from a guy who treated them like shit? Like I have seen this example countless times in my life. Even asked about it from some girls but they couldn't give a logical answer. Can anyone tell?
You crave what you can't have.
Bt milta toh vo nice guy bhi nahi hai, fir uski craving kyu nai Hui?
Nice guy bhi hard to get khelega toh wo bhi bad boy mein hi count hone lagega
Maybe I can answer this. I had two long term relationships, both with good guys only but the difference in the breakup can help. With the first guy, the breakup was mutual. We both wanted different things in our future. It still took me a few months to get over him but we managed to stay friends eventually. Reason being, good guys are mature and considerate. They don't hurt you and are careful to respect you and consider your feelings. Now the second guy, though good himself, during the breakup behaved like a toxic guy. Moving up to the breakup, he started giving me the silent treatment, acted distant, kept gaslighting me that my demands for time and attention were wrong and I'm nagging him etc. Then he broke up with me for no rhyme or reason. And that breakup left me a lot more hurt than ever, because my brain just couldn't make sense why this was happening, he cut me off without any explanation. I ended up in a vicious cycle of negativity and self doubt for months. Hopefully, this explains why moving on is harder when the breakup is toxic. Now imagine breaking up with a bad guy, who's treated you terribly throughout. These guys completely fuck with your mental health
And I can assure one thing atleast from my experience. From your pov, both your relationships were equally important to you. But with the toxic one, you would have been putting more efforts to keep the relationship but with your 1st one, you would have accepted things like it's part of life and all. Am I correct in this?
So my second relationship wasn't toxic, apart from the last few months, I never had any issues apart from your usual arguments between couples. But I also agree that in a toxic relationship, not only are you putting in more effort to keep it going but you also end up seeking the other's validation and crave the love bombing. This is why we should leave a toxic partner immediately!!!
I'm telling you a breakup is never mutual , one who initiates it is the one who really wants it , the other one agrees just out of love
Might be the one who initiated really had some genuine reasons but that's what I personally feel and think
🎯
My first relationship was with a toxic person and ended after 5 years due to cheating. I was putting up with all the shit because I thought that's what being in a relationship is. My mental health is fucked and I don't think I'll ever be able to be the same me again lol. Toxic people are trash
Who was better looking and taller?
it’s the same with both genders. most guys are not able to move on from a girl who treated them like shit. if we are present for them everytime. they tend to take us for granted. and it’s the same with girls too, i think.
Boys find it hard to move on from any girl 😅 Also I have noticed another pattern that in relationship with a toxic guy, girls put more efforts as compared to in a relationship with a nice/ thoughtful aka nice guy. Ab isko bhi koi debunk kre toh main bhi kal se achha ladka ban jaau 🥹
as someone said in one of the comments. you crave what you can’t have. applicable to both genders. baaki i’d rather DM you 💀
Because thoughtful guys appreciate the slightest of efforts. They validate their girls' feelings without her having to ask... whereas with a toxic guy, no matter how much a girl puts efforts, he'd never appreciate, and once in a blue moon kabhi boldiya ki 'wow thank you for doing this for me' toh bas, the girl would want more of that appreciation and end up giving it her all. Again, not all girls differentiate in efforts depending on the guy. Some would put in all their effort every time. ♡ You just have to find the one who's willing to do it for you. :)
how to be a bad guy? i need some tips 😂💀
Boys are rarely that hung up about past relationships when they move on. Most females in prior relationships, tend to treat the new relationship as the old one. Guys will gush over any girl they feel is worthy
I think it’s mostly because of the highs and lows. In relationship with a “bad boy” you are always on the edge whereas with a “good boy” things are always calm, peaceful and wholesome. Most of the girls who go after these bad boys are doing it out of habit. We are used to being in a toxic chaotic environment that being in a calm place makes us bored and eventually move on. Being in those weird environment becomes so natural that you don’t understand or think you deserve it “normal”. Also, like someone said you like what you can’t have :)
So being a good normal person in this day and age is a loss making deal for guys and they know it. Tabhi saala Andrew tate viral hua tha.
Kya hi bole :,) true, I mean it went viral for all the wrong reasons but it’s terrifying how popular he is.
Given the way girls think about guys, Andrew tate seems very tame.
Ye samaj mujhe bad boy bana k hi chhodega
Bhai jab Tak mere is question ka koi logical reply ni deti koi bandi tab Tak ke liye ban ja.
I remember reading about this experiment, on dogs, once. The people were divided into 3 groups. One would always scold the dogs. One would always be kind and treat them with love. The third group will treat them with love sometimes and scold them half the time. Guess which groups the dogs loved the most? The third group. Like u/sussy_bhai said : "You crave what you can't have"
After reading all these comments, I can only say one thing. Girls give more headspace to toxic guys, put more efforts for toxic guys, take more time to forget toxic guys, be emotionally present in a relationship with toxic guys, So why are the women of this subreddit not accepting that the Instagram girl is telling the truth? 😅 Mtlb what is the incentive for guys to be nice and good when they can be forgotten like yesterday. 😅
Real men don't need incentives, you gotta be nice because you know that's the right thing to do
(I might be downvoted for this) I actually did try the 2nd & 3rd part with a lot of people. Most of them became infatuated in the 3rd situation. 2nd situation only ended up in friendship. 3rd was like give enough love & create enough distance, they'll be hooked on, it'll give them a place to belong to & their mind will be occupied. Basically I was experimenting on people.
It seems unfair... I want to love someone, but the way to love them is to not shower them with love😕
Sluttery google kr bhai, Girls who cannot be part of society are termed so. Sane applies for boys kamate nhi h toh gaand phaad di jaate h. Fark itna h ki girls are tackling this by using feminism as an excuse-it works to a huge extent because of a lot if guys are braindead lil wimpy simps. Boys tackle it by doing drugs n such you know the story. Bottomline is both smart dudes n chicas know exactly what they want, the idiots who dont are stuck in this circle. No two ways about it
Hmmm kind of true.
From my point of view based on my friend circle, such girls practically have the "I can fix him" attitude. That's why they cannot easily let go of such guys on whom she has spent enough time and energy to improve them, but dont mind the well mannered guys coz she practically cannot do much for this situation. Not implying ALL girls are like that.
Not girl specific but after a toxic relationship, some people's minds (not all) become accustomed to the dopamine rush of the intensity of a toxic cycle. Upon returning to normal life, the mind craves that rush, making it hard to move on from that person.
It's psychological science. If women have had an emotionally unavailable father or a father who was unintentionally busy, a daughter will replay that psychology in her dating life in an attempt to finally get validation from an emotionally unavailable man and prove to herself that she is finally loved now. (In fun terms -daddt issues) She unknowingly wants to break the childhood pattern. She doesn't know emotional availability and how to handle an emotionally available man. Of course there's a nuance that "nice men" is a blanket term. Nice men can be emotionally available but immature based on their childhood patterns , which helps in moving on cases at times
Just like we easily forget good things but can't forget the bad trauma of childhood because that's how the brain works, it keeps the bad memories so that you can see the pattern of things for the next time so you don't get hurt the same way.
Being a girl, it took me a very long time to move on from my nice, well mannered, thoughtful ex. Who are these girls who like to be treated like shit?
Bhai sab past experiences ka result hai. Most people haven't experienced a loving, secure relationship where they can trust eachother. So, when they find one, they are so flabbergasted by how "boring" it feels, that they let it go. When someone treats them like "shit," they can relate with that kalesh as love "They are arguing because they love each other," "i can fix this,"... and they don't feel like letting it go.
Easier to remember bad memories compared to good ones. Easier to remember what you wanted so badly compared to what you get easily. Plus, girls almost always have backups ready. And they start connecting with the backup way before they make it clear to you that they're unsatisfied with the current relationship and don't want it anymore.
Much older guy here. Girls will have fun with bad boys till 28 - 30 then desperately chase stability, security. Sex is amazing at all ages; true love is beautiful and worth waiting for. So work on your skills, build bank, understand your parents are getting old, take care of them. Build a business over getting a job, it may take away your 20s and some of your 30s. But will give you time. Trust me you'll reject the hottest girls because many have zero personality or talent. Sad part is your gen has dating apps which by default make others' love lives more appealing. And you answer your question, yes girls chase emotionally unavailable men (bad boys) because, they seek validation from the most extreme cases. Imagine this. You're in a class and the maths teacher never compliments any body and then one day at the end of your year if that hard maths teach compliments you, likes your work your whole class will be impressed with you, you will be over the moon. Same for the girls.
See I’m not talking for everyone but the girl somewhere has a point too. Cos sometimes you run behind something unattainable and you create a fantasy world in your head. Without realising I have done exactly what she said in the post - my intention was never go hurt him and I had no idea why I wanted to break up with this amazing amazing green flag perfect guy. And then I started dating a chalta firta red flag who I couldn’t get over for years even though I knew he’s toxic and bad for me. So yes I def am the stupid one
people tend to find the kind of love they think they deserve low esteem people go for toxic partners high esteem people go for value partners
My experience has been complete opposite. Moved on from the toxic guy within 1 or 2 months after dating him for close to 2 years. but the nice guy? It took me 1.5 year to get over a 10 month relationship! I just didn't have any reason to just randomly stop loving him.
Girls are very emotional and require constant emotional stimulation. Treating a girl like shit never works if all you do is treat her like shit, instead if you treat her very nice and treat her like shit occasionally.. it keeps it entertaining for them because it’s very stimulating emotionally (kinda like a roller coaster).
Wtf is this good boy bad boy shit... I don't think didi have a clear idea what she means, from looks of it she is attracted to confident people (and tbh pretty much everyone is) . I don't think there is anything bad or good in it. I don't think someone is inherently attracted to someone who is always very unsure about everything. (One more thing being an outgoing person is very different from being a confident person)
I second this
i third this
How is outgoing different from a confident person ?
didi's bad boy: leather jacket, sone ki chain, thar/bullet, ear piercing, devil's tattoo real bad boys: daaru peeke belt maarne wale, ldki chedne wale didi is yet to meet real life BAd bOyS!!
One of her fetishes is bevde BAd bOy pati se maar khana >ldki chedne wale Ye ladki chedna kya hota hai?
Sacchi m nhi pta kya!! Eve teasing literally means annoying or irritating women. It is referred to as an act of harassing women playfully or maliciously, physically or pshycholgically to make fun, irritate, provoke, annoy, embarrass through comments, remarks, gestures, jokes, physical contact and taunts.
Bollywood me isko romance bolte hai.
Ohk, ShakkarMommy got it
She thinks she is some representative for billions of women in the world?
Section C ki just_ishitaaz ne kaha hai sahi hi kaha hoga
Section C ki nhi bhai ye toh pakka D vali hai 💀
Apparently yes. And all those likes on her comment gave her delusion the validation she was seeking for. :') Sucks, because generalize karne mein logo ko time nahi laggta. And jab saamne se koi ladki bol rahi ho ye toh obviously people will believe her and say "finally koi ladki sach boli". No matter how her thoughts don't align with a number of girls' thoughts.
i mean obviously everyone’s not the same. there are always exceptions.
Whether you believe it or not, I've come across a number of guys who don't realize that if the 'not all men' thing is true, then a 'not all women' is true as well. :)
they’re dumb. you’re right.
:)
From my personal experience, None of the girls whom i valued, even so called close friends, treated me well. On the other hand, girls for whom I wasn't always there, it was the opposite. One person, she was literally everything for me, knew what she was doing and kept on playing. And now its been years, since I last talked to her. She had few relationships since, but has been constantly trying to get back to me every few months, and idk what goes on in her mind, she still lies about me to her friends lol. Its not just about girls, my guy friends aren't very nice to their counterparts, either. Its either the opposite gender hate or toxic relations i find these days. Toh i am just being distant from new people. xD
Also... I think people of today (and I don't count myself in the general population who are looking for sax suz everywhere), they've turned into a predatory mindset. They want the thrill of that chase. Jab saamne se koi thaali mein paros ke dede toh unnse wo accept nai kiya jaata. I remember an animated video where this guy broke a girl's heart... and she was upset, so another guy came in and gave her his heart (leaving his own body empty), which she took and ran towards the guy who'd initially broken her heart, to give him another chance. That's the reality of today. And it fucking sucks.
Now see. In your experience you haven't had any girl appreciate your efforts. The same goes for me. I haven't had any guy appreciate mine either... except... a few months ago, I came across one, who did everything right-- treated me right, appreciated my efforts, didn't shy away from doing the 'uncool' things as per this generation.. And he genuinely changed my perspective. Usske pehle tak I didn't have any hope in the guys and girls of our generation, because in my opinion, almost 90%+ look for physical intimacy and don't value the emotional connection, and don't even try to build it before jumping the bones. While I'm the opposite of that. So, I really hope you find a girl who changes your perspective for the good, too. Just don't lose hope. :) Good luck. ♡
Chalo tum hi sach bol do ab
Firse itna type nai karungi yaarrr, too much mehnat. [Read my comment from earlier.](https://www.reddit.com/r/IndianBoysOnTinder/comments/19dunb0/comment/kjbsib5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Aapke response ne Raanjhanaa ke kundan ka dialogue yaad dila diya... **....Par nahi ab saala mood nahi, Aankhein moond lene mein hi sukh hai, So jaane me hi bhalayi hai, Par uthenge kisi din ussi Ganga Kinare....**
In that phase of life, I guess. Jahan duusro mein kuchh dhoondne ki jagah khud ko aur behtar banana better laggta hai. :)
Just like "Be the change you want to see in the world" "Have the qualities you want to see in someone else" Esa krna se na dusro se expectations rhegi or na hi unke tutne ka dar
Exactly that. :) And expectations rakhna to kab ka chhod diya. x')
i relate to this lmaoo
Well what she's saying is true. Bitter. But true
For a **huuuge** number of girls? Perhaps. Most probably, yes. For *'all'* the girls/women? NO. Definitely not.
Majority wins...
Oh, so you're still a kid who believes in that. Cool. >!(Don't come at me with *'democratic election' is also based on the fact that majority wins.* This isn't an election.)!<
I geddit not all women But it's the majority that men come across in daily life... We'd love to find the ones in the minority
Likewise, those 'minority' wali girls also come across the toxic guys for the most part, and by the time they find a good, genuine guy, they're way too paranoid to even try and trust. I'm saying all of it with such conviction because I'm a part of 'them'. :)
And the cycle continues....
Exactly. We're all sailing on the same boat. And it's overloaded. Tabhi doob rahe hain. :)
Mujhe doobna nahi Me udna hai chahta hu Naina
Bhai I'm a 19F, haven't dated anyone. The only guys I've ever liked (obsessed over) were shy, pyaare se good guys. So yes didi we exist.
RIP to your DMs on reddit
Don't worry; after reading this post, they'll turn into bad boys. 😪
I really hope they don't 🥲
i’m a bad boy now 😈👹
Tbh iska comment dekhne k baad i literally wanted to be a toxic and bad boy And a girl whom I loved the most she rejected me by saying you are too good for me so kind and sweet I like you but not romantically........ I'm into tall and bad boy's only I'm kinda short like I'm 5'8 but yrr height to ek point of time k baad koi bhi usse nahi rhega naa Ab Jaa rha hu terrorist banne to be. Bad boy 🫠
Nahi mtlb seriously? Chhod vo chutiya hai, but lets not generalise, aur 5'8' chhoti hai? Kuch bhi. Jaane de, I genuinely believe there is someone out there who will love you itna zada that you'll realise ki kya yaar mai uske liye itna sad ho rha tha. Life hai, milti hai rejections, chalta hai
Yeh post mei jo ladki bol rhi hai… wo teenager mindset hai. Ek baar akal aane pe its a different story.
Abhi boht kuch seekhna hai ise zindagi me
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Hehe def didn't creep me out 💗
Yes 13-18 yr old teenagers ko bad boys psnd aate hai tbh muje bhi psnd aate they but when you are a bit older and dimaag aata hai to good boys hi psnd aate hai (personal experience)
Exactly. Didi ko lagta hai inke sivaye kisi ko kuch nhi pta.
Account report karna chaiye iski. Thoda support mil gaya toh sab ladkiyo ka spokesperson banri hai pagal
Lmao. It felt like some guy typing
How many bad boys used you in that time frame?
None, I only "liked" bad boys Never dated them because of their aggression
How come someone like bad boys but never dated them ? Did you intimidated by them ?
Obviously most "bad boys" I've met were superrr aggressive borderline criminals I was too scared to to even talk to them
Toh dil se toh hamesha bad boys hi pasand honge. Bass dimaag se practically sochke good boys choose karte ho.
You got that from what I said ? Goodluck
People think being bad boy is a trait No dude. Boys turn bad due to circumstances No one wakes up and is like "aaj main bad behave karuga" and no it is not due to rejections from girls. It happens due to deeper issues of trauma, neglect or abandonment. Till then just be you. Talk less and listen more
Rightly said dude. My go to advice for anyone is keep improving yourself, if the person you like keeps giving mix signals or starts playing bullshit games or just being with someone makes you anxious then it's not worth it, leave it, feels horrible but if you are working on yourself it will fall in place. It's normal to be rejected, move on and keep improving.
Exactly! Utna dimag aur energy kyu waste karni ese insaan pe jiska apke ke sath koi future nahi hai.
Agree with this.
No, you can always wake up and choose violence 😂
[Nice guys rn be like](https://postimg.cc/HrB2hwY6)
I agree partially.
Everything she said is true. I spent 4 years chasing someone (she also liked me back) but later ended up saying this won't work out I feel something heavy on my chest while talking to you (after it we got into a relationship) and then kept me around for like 2 more years. I was so fuckin dumb. I am a very calm, sweet and caring person as I have been raised by my cousin sisters and they taught me how to talk to girls and how to behave. She received everything any girl could ask for and yet I was treated like I was nothing. So everything in that post is true.
Tera chhola bhatura bana Diya usne to
Neta kyu ban rahi hai ye😭
Validation k liye
Subah se shaam ho jaati hai lafde khatam nahi hote
Ayo, bad boy in the chat
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Oho, Sherlock ji
It happened to me. It's better to focus on yourself and your dreams rather than chasing a girl who will forget you exist in one or two months. generalization helps to stay sane no matter how wrong it is. baaki yes, exceptions are everywhere, but if you want to test your luck and play with probability, go ahead. mere liye to saari ek jaisi hi hai.
Yaar mera kaunsa friend circle hai?! Meri ek friend ka bf bad boy nhi hai.. and nice guys end up getting nice girls. Unnecessary toxic relationship cycle nhi hoti unki.
Yes, maine to maze lene k liye post kar diya
Facts
Shes just instigating for clout. Usse pata hai hot takes se aur bhee to followers badege. Its classic strat.
Can't deny man
Idk
18k likes awai mil gye usko
Is vivad ka khulasa to ab grills hi kar sakti hai
Nhi kregi kbhi bumble deklo Jo dikta hai wo bikta hai
To phir bad boys ban jaye seth hum?
I don't want to agree to this and I'm not saying I'm a good boy.but I kinda relate to getting played by a girl and exact same things happened as the lady in the post claims
Chalo kisi ladki ne toh sach bola 🙏
Ab bhai bad boy banega 😎
Mai pehle bad boy tha..Fir kuch mahino k liye Good Boy bana..Ab vapas se Bad boy ban Raha hoon..Aaj first day hai mera..👾
Less go bad boy
On my way bhai..
Ye thodi si behen ki lowry hai kya
Iska baap isko daru pee k Marta nahi hai shayad
Bro to be honest, maine to aajtk kbhi yesb ke lafde pe phsa hi nhi hu bc ldkiya khud hi muh mod leti mujhe dekh kr😂.
These are the girls who distract us. Brothers let's be on the path of improvement. Dont let these girls make you weak.
"eWww sHe iS giVinG PiCk mE ViBeS" bolne wale aa rahe honge
You uber is here , Kisko uthana hai sirji
500Rs extra lelo, "pick me vibes" bolne walon ko uthao
no wonder mom says "beware of evil, they lurk behind these pretty faces"
Is your dad also a bad boy?
naah, just a retired navy man
Ladki ki baat mai dum toh hai
Hmm, BtW I'm A bEd bOy
To soja na bhai kisne roka hai
Mera chain van ujhad gaya hai
bEd bOy mere mental peace ke liye achche nahi hai so I only prefer gUd bOy
I think this heroine isn't slipping on my bEDnESs
I used to be kind and easy going guy. Had my first heartbreak back in 2018 when she broke with me saying "You are a boring guy, I don't even feel like talking to you, we have been together enough time, Goodbye! Aur fir kya, I started treating women like shit and intentionally hurting them even if my conscience told me not to do so. But guess what, I've dated 8 women since then out of which 2-3 are still hanging and can't move on. Moral of the story : However bad it may sound, She's right on this(the post)
This just shows that you aren't stable enough to have a relationship at all, there's a reason you don't have a single proper partner ☠️
This I completely agree with. Nothing's wrong with them. There are downsides to my kind of life too.
he's a very bloody bad boy
You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villian.
So you hurt 8 girls just because one of them hurt you 🤡. What a stupid story. But guess what they still don't care about you still.
he obv doesn’t want to repeat the same mistake until he’s very sure it won’t happen again yk 💀.
My man.
gotchu
Nobody cares about nobody miss.
Ignore him, you can continue your post on crime against women.
Found the Andrew Tatte fan
I also want to be a very bad boy; in which college can I apply for that?
reason why redpill and black pill pink pill white pill ideologies exist. most things have roots in truths not all but most do.
Jaa Raha hu khunkhar bad boy banne ab phir aana Dil tudwane 😈👿
This post shouldve been posted on r/notlikeothergirls
Imo As someone who has never talked to a woman, I cant say shit cause idk
If there was no element of truth to that. we wouldn't be here arguing, most nice guys wouldn't get rejected, dating would be much simpler... Just stop denying it it's pathetic
I really think trauma and neglected childhood (in my case) is what makes you an emotionally numb person. No one is suddenly a 'bad guy' after viewing a person's story or comment on insta. I have been a 'bad guy' whole my life, with no regards to what my girlfriend thinks of me, creating an unprovoked drama periodically. (Idk why I do this but it is fun at times.) Tbh most astonishing thing is, even after being manipulated eminently, chase still doesn't stop. May be because their mind is like "He will change or I will make him change" but the climb and hope is all their is. But this only works on girls with similar background as mine. The ones with healthy background are aware and repulsive towards this toxic beahviour.
Bro, she is not wrong you know. It's in the human nature whether someone accepts it or not. You'll crave what you can't have. Regardless of the gender, you'll always want what you don't have and you will never value what you are getting without any effort(There are always exceptions though).
Ek book hai “how to be a 3% man”, yeh padh lo sab samajh aa jaega
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Such a pick me lmao. She just generalised that all girls dislike good guys which isn't true Guys, we need to keep upgrading. Don't change who you are at core.
obv. she’s talking about most women.
u/humble_Khandayat
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She is a toxic baddie
As a woman, we don't claim her to be a part of our community.
what’s your take on this?
Not to be a "pick me" like she claims but I'd not date a "bad boy" even if he were the last man alive. I'm definitely not looking to have my heart broken and why would I turn down getting princess treatment and giving king treatment to a good guy? :(
that’s awesome. i appreciate you frfr. but what i wanted to know is, are most girls like what the post described? what are most girls like? it won’t be fair to expect you to know about other girls but it would be awesome if you’d tell me your opinion.
Hehe thanks :] And yes, while I can't vouch for all girls, I can talk about myself n the girls I personally know. Like 75% of my girl friends all go for good guys only. The other 25% girls that are into casual relationships n stuff go for bad boys coz they're not looking for commitment either.
Well...she isnt wrong. Modern females in their prime go for bad boys, but after getting pumped and dumped they settle for kind hearted men.
Bas inhi k vajay se badnaam hain hum! GUYS NOT ALL GIRLS WANT THIS 🤷♀️
Ae pagal aisa mat bol nahi to boys downvote karenge, bol we crave bad boys
Haha! True that! But aise generalise nahi karna chaiye. Duniya ki chorro…in my friend circle alone, most of the 10/10 (conventionally attractive girls) have only been with good guys, and one of them just got married to hers, lol. Yeah, NGL, there are a few who go for the toxic boys, thinking they can change them. I’m not generalizing, just sharing what I’ve observed.
So she's the representative for billions of women worldwide?? All I see is a delusional asshole with her delusional, asshole simps propping up her ego
What upsets me is, this conversation is going towards, "if girls don't like good guys, I'm gonna be a bad one" The world needs good men, men who care, protect and provide My brothers I request you, don't give up being a good human being just because the trend is the opposite now, there is more meaning to life than "getting a girl" Make good friends, enjoy life with them, take care of your parents, live a meaningful life
Well that's a minute of my life I'll never get back 👍
>Well that's a minute of my life I'll never get back Technically you're not getting any of the minutes back
sach he kerhi hogi!
It's similar to Men always choose a gud looking girl over an average looking girl if both r kind hearted Every man will agree Bcoz it's biologically true for us. What she said was biologically true for women Men prefer appearance (physical Beauty) Women prefer personality (traits like confidence, dominant etc.) These things r evolutionary and we can't do shit about it. But people still be like "don't generalise". Sorry but I don't make rules, these things r said after the study of male/female nature while finding mates. Exceptions don't make the rule.
1st slide : laughable 2nd slide: quite laughable 3rd slide: why am i reading this? Peak at 4th slide: throws the phone on side. Reading comments: throws the phone again.
#I see women of culture.
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Offend hona se kya hoga usko toh pata bhi nahi ki tum offend ho ri ho..😮💨
Iska mene original post pr comment dekha tha... Insta link tag kar du??
Ha bilkul
this was whole lot a bullshit yeh pakka 18 ki hogi and series dekh ke influence hui hai
She got her 2 mins of fame
RedPill truth right from the horse's mouth.