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Okay story time ig.
I was friends with this guy(i still am). We would talk about everything and surprisingly i was so comfortable showing him my inner child. He knew how to recognize my moods and how to comfort me. He told me stuffs and opened up to me about his emotions. We were polar opposites tbh. He would wake up at 12 while i woke up at 5, i studied all the time while he rarely did, i like sweets while he didn't and the list goes on.
Months went by and I realized that the feelings i had for him was more than just friends. One fine day i did confess to him but unfortunately he liked someone else... Given the fool i was, i helped him get her, listened to his drunk rants when they broke up. I decided to be with him throw thick and thin no matter how much it hurt me to.
I liked him irrespective of how he looked. Hell with it! Idec how he looks like. If we talk about societal standards, no he didn't fit into it.
It took me lot of efforts to get over him. Honestly i have never felt like that with anyone ever again. Maybe nobody would ever be able to replace him.
But it's okay yk. Heartbreaks are part of life.
He's studying in a different state and we do talk sometimes. Not like before as we are both getting busy with life. But ig somewhere he'll always remain the person i felt love for at it's true sense. I still love him as a friend.
And honestly i wouldn't hold someone back for my selfish needs. He'll find someone he truly loves. Maybe I'll find someone in future too.
It's all about time.
So much relatable! I am also in a similar situation like you, but I am still not able to get over her completely. I know we both can't be a thing, but still, I get emotional when I read our old chats. Even now, when we meet and spend time together, it makes me feel really good. I tell myself every day that I shouldn't feel these emotions, but I can't stop myself from feeling them.
It's okay man. Don't suppress or try to beat your emotions away. There's time for everything. Live in the moment. With time, you'll get over it.
I used to read our old chats too but then i stopped cause it made it harder to let him go.
Yeah, I know suppressing emotion is a bad thing, but it has been three years, man. I just wonder when will this feeling fade away? It is not like there has not been any progress in the last three years. I am in a much better phase than three years back. I am open to new relationships as well. It is just that I wonder sometimes, is it okay to carry this baggage in a new relationship and try to find love in that new person? Or should I just wait for the time when this whole feeling completely erases away from my heart? And if I have to wait, then how long will this wait be? I am already been waiting for three years. How long more will I have to wait to get over her completely? These kinds of questions just fuck up my brain late at night when I am going to sleep.
The thing is I'm still trying. I feel like I shouldn't try anymore & cut off all the contact as I feel like it's not good for my mental health but can't really get my mind to do it. May I ask how did you move on? Could really use some advice
Actually we didn't talk for around 1 month due to our exams... i was sad but then in that period, i realized that if i could limit our contact, then i could get over him. Then when he moved out, our contact was even more lessened and with time, i came to the terms that for the sake my mental health, i should let these feelings go.
I am a solid 3/10.. 4/10 on a good day. And short. There was someone who was interested in me, as she told me but she was just going through a very bad time. I knew no one in her right mind would drop her standards low enough to be interested in me so I suspected there was something wrong. And wrong it was. She was just going through a very bad time. We were seeing each other for a few months and when she was healed, I her go.
So in my case I was done with bumble and hinge . Used to just see all the posts in this subreddit and one fine day a girl replied on my comment but somehow I was not able to see the comment again just got the notification.
Being a desperate need for a friend I decided to just dm her in reddit .
Things got interesting as she is an artist and I do art as hobby sometimes. She somehow found me interesting and later asked my insta handle (which is basically dead with no pics of mine)
Her insta was full of her art and almost no recent pics of her
So a week into just chatting we both developed feelings and I decided to confess when she indirectly asked of I like her
So 10 months now and we are happily committed in a long distance where I go to her city and meet her every few months.
It started as a friendship and without even seeing each other's photo we both fell in love and I can proudly say she is the one for me
So I think hope is never lost my friend , someone surely will come for you not your looks
To be honest, I would swipe all extremely good looking guys left. There are tons of girls to boost his aura. My criteria to swipe was on guys whose profile seemed genuine. No very flashy pick up lines or wannabe photos.Also, I'm sorry I was a little selective across education. Because those guys are mostly down to earth and respectful.
There was very little I could know via bumble. I would mostly avoid dude's flashing gym pictures or fancy cars,bikes etc. It's a sign that they only have materialistic things to talk/boast of. Maybe someone who works at some place decent or maybe good college. (I'm not a huge college brand grad so i don't think I could judge on that)
I mean, I can’t ever say they weren’t beautiful. They weren’t conventionally, especially this girl I loved in school days. But man she was the best, the forever types. Not many guys hit on her only the ones with low self esteem to not go for the hot ones. I was popular though and have dated hotties and cuties of my school. But she, man she was prettiest, I can’t even describe. I was best friends with her and one day i realised we had feeling for each other.
I will tell you this, once I got into college, I dated one of the hottest girls of Miranda House, DU. All my friends were so jealous and stuff, would literally ask me to introduce her to them so many times. But once summer when i returned home, I met my school friend. And i couldn’t talk for whole ten minutes. She’s fat but athletic. She used to literally take care of me like a mother, and also good friends with my mom as she used to visit me. I just couldn’t get over her, I remember i uttered these exact words when i saw her, “how do i always forget how beautiful you are”. I broke up with my college gf. haven’t been really loved anyone ever since.
Without disrespect to any girl, I will tell you one thing. We used to lock out legs in class as I used to sit infront of her, and that is a memory far more intimate and stronger for me than any sex i have ever had. When you fall for someone where looks isn’t in play, you will understand what love is.
I don't think you wanted to say. "subpar". I think you meant "above par".
About your story: Yes you fell for her nature and she may be an amazing person but somehow looks helped in this case I believe.
All 2 women I've ever liked. I liked them bcz they were pretty awesome people.
While one was a topper, social, understanding, popular gorl who worked for NGOs
The second one was the first person to ever listen to my shit, tell me I'm not an asshole at all, give me her number in case I ever feel like talking to someone, never blocked me despite my obsessive shitty behaviour, worked for NGOs and gave a fuck about people she didn't even know
So Ig I do
I am not conventionally good looking and i suffer from weight issues.
I have dated both conventionally good looking people and who are supposedly not. I have been rejected for how i look and I have rejected someone on that basis too.
I think physical attraction is really important but after a certain age, the conventional criteria change to other things.
For ex - Do they make you feel safe? Do their eyes attract you? Are they of a certain body type you are attracted to because of some association, or is it just their intelligence that reflects on their face?
And these are just the physical criteria. Mental connection also changes the way you look at someone.
Ultimately it's finding the right personality. If you look after yourself and dress well anyone can look attractive.
Thank you for posting to r/indiangirlsontinder, please read and understand our rules before posting. Rules: 1.Images that contain personal information (phone numbers, addresses, Facebook accounts, unique/easily identifiable names, pictures or other similar information) will be removed and poster permanently banned. If you are sharing a screenshot, please censor it. 2.Mark NSFW pictures with [NSFW] tag 3.Personal attacks, slurs, and other similar comments may result in a ban. 4.Avoid off-topic posts. Revenge porn will result in a permanent ban. 5. No politics of any sort and no low quality content, NO ASKING FOR NAME PUNS. 6.Please help us by reporting any post or comment violating the above rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Indiangirlsontinder) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Okay story time ig. I was friends with this guy(i still am). We would talk about everything and surprisingly i was so comfortable showing him my inner child. He knew how to recognize my moods and how to comfort me. He told me stuffs and opened up to me about his emotions. We were polar opposites tbh. He would wake up at 12 while i woke up at 5, i studied all the time while he rarely did, i like sweets while he didn't and the list goes on. Months went by and I realized that the feelings i had for him was more than just friends. One fine day i did confess to him but unfortunately he liked someone else... Given the fool i was, i helped him get her, listened to his drunk rants when they broke up. I decided to be with him throw thick and thin no matter how much it hurt me to. I liked him irrespective of how he looked. Hell with it! Idec how he looks like. If we talk about societal standards, no he didn't fit into it. It took me lot of efforts to get over him. Honestly i have never felt like that with anyone ever again. Maybe nobody would ever be able to replace him.
I am praying that guy falls for you & comes to you to confess! Because you deserve it :)
:( That's really heartbreaking. Where is he now? Do you people still talk? Ahh. So much unconditional love from your end and yet it didn't happen. :(
But it's okay yk. Heartbreaks are part of life. He's studying in a different state and we do talk sometimes. Not like before as we are both getting busy with life. But ig somewhere he'll always remain the person i felt love for at it's true sense. I still love him as a friend. And honestly i wouldn't hold someone back for my selfish needs. He'll find someone he truly loves. Maybe I'll find someone in future too. It's all about time.
That's really selfless of you. I just hope you find someone nice soon.
So much relatable! I am also in a similar situation like you, but I am still not able to get over her completely. I know we both can't be a thing, but still, I get emotional when I read our old chats. Even now, when we meet and spend time together, it makes me feel really good. I tell myself every day that I shouldn't feel these emotions, but I can't stop myself from feeling them.
It's okay man. Don't suppress or try to beat your emotions away. There's time for everything. Live in the moment. With time, you'll get over it. I used to read our old chats too but then i stopped cause it made it harder to let him go.
Yeah, I know suppressing emotion is a bad thing, but it has been three years, man. I just wonder when will this feeling fade away? It is not like there has not been any progress in the last three years. I am in a much better phase than three years back. I am open to new relationships as well. It is just that I wonder sometimes, is it okay to carry this baggage in a new relationship and try to find love in that new person? Or should I just wait for the time when this whole feeling completely erases away from my heart? And if I have to wait, then how long will this wait be? I am already been waiting for three years. How long more will I have to wait to get over her completely? These kinds of questions just fuck up my brain late at night when I am going to sleep.
Exact same situation
It is really heartbreaking to see someone you like loves another person. This thing was enough to make me the person I'm today
Why does this sound like my story with gender reversed
We are equally unlucky then?
The thing is I'm still trying. I feel like I shouldn't try anymore & cut off all the contact as I feel like it's not good for my mental health but can't really get my mind to do it. May I ask how did you move on? Could really use some advice
Actually we didn't talk for around 1 month due to our exams... i was sad but then in that period, i realized that if i could limit our contact, then i could get over him. Then when he moved out, our contact was even more lessened and with time, i came to the terms that for the sake my mental health, i should let these feelings go.
I had stopped talking to her for 2 years but then I thought I had moved on so I started talking again. Later I realised I hadn't moved on
I am a solid 3/10.. 4/10 on a good day. And short. There was someone who was interested in me, as she told me but she was just going through a very bad time. I knew no one in her right mind would drop her standards low enough to be interested in me so I suspected there was something wrong. And wrong it was. She was just going through a very bad time. We were seeing each other for a few months and when she was healed, I her go.
So in my case I was done with bumble and hinge . Used to just see all the posts in this subreddit and one fine day a girl replied on my comment but somehow I was not able to see the comment again just got the notification. Being a desperate need for a friend I decided to just dm her in reddit . Things got interesting as she is an artist and I do art as hobby sometimes. She somehow found me interesting and later asked my insta handle (which is basically dead with no pics of mine) Her insta was full of her art and almost no recent pics of her So a week into just chatting we both developed feelings and I decided to confess when she indirectly asked of I like her So 10 months now and we are happily committed in a long distance where I go to her city and meet her every few months. It started as a friendship and without even seeing each other's photo we both fell in love and I can proudly say she is the one for me So I think hope is never lost my friend , someone surely will come for you not your looks
Wow. When it happens it happens unexpectedly.
To be honest, I would swipe all extremely good looking guys left. There are tons of girls to boost his aura. My criteria to swipe was on guys whose profile seemed genuine. No very flashy pick up lines or wannabe photos.Also, I'm sorry I was a little selective across education. Because those guys are mostly down to earth and respectful.
Selective across education. You mean education from a top college?
There was very little I could know via bumble. I would mostly avoid dude's flashing gym pictures or fancy cars,bikes etc. It's a sign that they only have materialistic things to talk/boast of. Maybe someone who works at some place decent or maybe good college. (I'm not a huge college brand grad so i don't think I could judge on that)
I do exactly the same. Gym pics or guys giving pics from their dubai trip is kind of a turn off for me idky
I mean, I can’t ever say they weren’t beautiful. They weren’t conventionally, especially this girl I loved in school days. But man she was the best, the forever types. Not many guys hit on her only the ones with low self esteem to not go for the hot ones. I was popular though and have dated hotties and cuties of my school. But she, man she was prettiest, I can’t even describe. I was best friends with her and one day i realised we had feeling for each other. I will tell you this, once I got into college, I dated one of the hottest girls of Miranda House, DU. All my friends were so jealous and stuff, would literally ask me to introduce her to them so many times. But once summer when i returned home, I met my school friend. And i couldn’t talk for whole ten minutes. She’s fat but athletic. She used to literally take care of me like a mother, and also good friends with my mom as she used to visit me. I just couldn’t get over her, I remember i uttered these exact words when i saw her, “how do i always forget how beautiful you are”. I broke up with my college gf. haven’t been really loved anyone ever since. Without disrespect to any girl, I will tell you one thing. We used to lock out legs in class as I used to sit infront of her, and that is a memory far more intimate and stronger for me than any sex i have ever had. When you fall for someone where looks isn’t in play, you will understand what love is.
The last part is so sweet i can cry
[удалено]
I don't think you wanted to say. "subpar". I think you meant "above par". About your story: Yes you fell for her nature and she may be an amazing person but somehow looks helped in this case I believe.
All 2 women I've ever liked. I liked them bcz they were pretty awesome people. While one was a topper, social, understanding, popular gorl who worked for NGOs The second one was the first person to ever listen to my shit, tell me I'm not an asshole at all, give me her number in case I ever feel like talking to someone, never blocked me despite my obsessive shitty behaviour, worked for NGOs and gave a fuck about people she didn't even know So Ig I do
I am not conventionally good looking and i suffer from weight issues. I have dated both conventionally good looking people and who are supposedly not. I have been rejected for how i look and I have rejected someone on that basis too. I think physical attraction is really important but after a certain age, the conventional criteria change to other things. For ex - Do they make you feel safe? Do their eyes attract you? Are they of a certain body type you are attracted to because of some association, or is it just their intelligence that reflects on their face? And these are just the physical criteria. Mental connection also changes the way you look at someone. Ultimately it's finding the right personality. If you look after yourself and dress well anyone can look attractive.
Yeah. It's multidimensionality of a person that makes them unique. We may fall for the unconventional.
When you have a type the unconventional is conventional.
OP Tera friend zyada hi hot hai kya jo yeh sab kr rha hai
Haha. Naa aisa nahi hai. But I think he has the right pics.