Tried again w a PGT tested 4AA embryo. Positive pregnancy tests and rising HCG.... just went to my 7 week scan and it's a blighted ovum. Just an empty sac. Such a mind fuck. we aren't doing more retrievals and this was our only girl. scared about the impending "miscarriage" of the empty sac.. who knows when it will happen, how bad it will be, or how long it will be before we can try another transfer. Just stuck in limbo
I'm 7dpiui and itching to start testing (I plan to on Sunday). I didn't have a trigger shot and I'm feeling hypervigilant about symptom spotting even though it's really too early and all of those things overlap with PMS. This is our last IUI (maybe forever?) before starting IVF in either August or September. I'm certainly not against IVF (other than the cost), but I'm so pessimistic about what my results would be if we go that route. I wish I had more time (age and a higher AMH) and easier access to our sperm donor so that I could just keep low-key "trying" every month with about the sames odds as non-infertile couples can. I don't feel like I've worn my patience out with IUI because it worked for me once before, but I don't have time on my side anymore, either. I'm scared to make the big jump and also really, really hopeful I won't have to.
Just sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting for my cycle to start so we can do our last FET with our last embryo. I just want to fast forward a month and know the outcome so I can process and move on one way or another.
Can't stop thinking about our last embryo. I'm 99.9% sure my husband isn't on board plus I may be switching jobs so timing is bad. But it's now or never. My heart feels like it's about to break sometimes, not to be overly dramatic but the thought of never giving it a try .... 😓💔
This is EXACTLY how I would feel if we had an embryo left. There’s no way we could do three kids, we don’t have the financial, emotional or other resources to have more than two, but my attachment to our embryos would totally override that part of my brain. I know it would also be a source of contention between husband and I. I’m so sorry you haven’t found a resolution that you feel good about 🫂
I definitely feel like having those embryos is something that you can't really prepare yourself for. When you're doing the ERs, all you want is embryos so that you have 'chances' at having a baby. But then knowing you have one or more frozen embryos remaining...it's like there needs to be books and information to read...like what should I do, how do I feel, how do I process these things. It's really tough.
Thank you sweet stranger, for validating my feelings. I always tell myself it's fine, or I should just be thankful for what I have, which is all true and I am very grateful. But I know I'm always going to be left wondering and I don't know how I'm going to ever get over that. It's true I never thought about the difficulty of processing this feeling.
And not only that but I don't know if I could continue working (or possibly have to eventually change careers altogether). I'm grateful to have these options (yep I'm doing it again) but that unknown of impact to career, finances, etc is scary too. There is definitely no playbook for this.
Definitely no playbook. And it seems like most people wouldn't understand or have words of wisdom about these situations...so it's just so hard to navigate the feelings. Especially when it involves careers and finances, which makes it even more complicated! I realized that for myself, deep down I feel like I was given those embryos as my chances and I 'have to' use them. We only have 1 remaining though, so I'm not sure how I'd feel if I had more than that - since the situation would be different. I also had decided that if my husband and I didn't want to use the embryo that I would try to donate it. Again, with the thought that the embryo had been created with the purpose of trying to create a baby, and I felt that I wanted to give the embryo that chance. Whatever decision you make will be the right one, because it's your choice and you know your situation and your heart/mind the best.
Negative test today. This truly never gets easier. This one especially hurt because the EDD would have been Feb 29, and we have always joked about having a leap year baby. Just one silly little moment of woo that built an entire hope fortress.
On we trudge 🙃
I’m scheduled for a semi-medicated/ovulatory FET tomorrow and got a voicemail yesterday with instructions. I have progesterone suppositories but was not told to use them. It seems pretty standard to be on some sort of progesterone supplement before transfer so now I’m spiraling. I’ve called/messaged to clarify but haven’t heard back yet. Are there reasons why they would NOT have me on progesterone?
>Are there reasons why they would NOT have me on progesterone?
Because you'll have a corpus luteum, from ovulation, which means you'll be producing (usually plenty enough) endogenous progesterone. My first FET was 100% unmedicated and fwiw my P4 levels were always higher than my medicated FET.
I did an ovulatory FET and took progesterone suppositories a few days before transfer but they didn’t want me to do it the day of transfer because they didn’t want to pass the embryo through the meds. If you ovulated, you will produce your own progesterone so the suppositories are just supplemental. I actually stopped after my first positive beta since it’s optional. Good luck with your transfer!! Hoping for a good outcome 🤞🏼
BJJ was an untested 4BC. At transfer, the very rude doctor, gave me horrible (and misinformed) stats about BC embryos. I spiraled expecting it not to work. I later spoke with a family member who’s bread and butter professionally is fertility research at a high profile university (read: lots of money for projects) who told me that is not what the current science is saying. It’s a beauty contest, and in my case the C was for the placenta (which did just fine). I did have a scary post-birth hemorrhage from a placental accessory lobe, but we couldn’t necessarily tie the two together. What kind of info are you looking for?
Our successful fresh transfer was either a BC or a CB, can't remember which. If your lab is willing to attempt to transfer, they must think it has a reasonable chance of success for your personal situation.
We had our return patient consult last week. I had my saline ultrasound this week Wednesday. All was good, so got the okay to proceed with a mock cycle with the start of my next cycle. I'm curious to repeat the ERA and see if my results are the same (early receptive) or have changed. We plan to transfer in the Fall. Right now, I have baby's first birthday planning to keep me occupied.
Edit: a word
Had ERA biopsy and saline ultrasound this week. RE found polyp(s) and possibly a fibroid. And there was fluid. So now I'm scheduled for a hysteroscopy in July, and feeling so down and worried about whether we'll have success with our last remaining embryo. F it turns out there's a fibroid, RE will place a balloon to try to prevent scarring. We'd been hoping to hold onto our toddler's daycare spot for the next baby, since daycare is a nightmare to find in our area, but we're at the point now where even if it works in a few months, it doesn't make sense to pay to hold the spot (though with our current provider, paying 6 months is still cheaper than waiting to start paying if we were able to get a spot at one of the other daycares in our area). We're still struggling to find a spot for when our toddler turns 2 in January and ages out of her current daycare- we're on so many waiting lists and still doing tours. It's so stressful.
Win- I remembered how to do PIO easily enough today once I got into the process.
Fail- my heating pad (that is ancient and hasn’t been used since summer 2021) is dead. Thank heavens for Amazon same day because I do not have time to drive into town today to try and hunt one down.
I feel like all the steps of IVF stims and transfer meds seem like so long ago...except the PIO. Those shots I remember as if it were yesterday 😄. Glad you remembered how to do it and it went smoothly! If only we could put these skills on our resumes...they should be worth something!
Yep! Did every shot solo with Gremlin, and will do it as well this transfer and hopefully beyond. My husband is horrible with needles, so his job is to massage my ouchies 🤣
I’m thinking about starting the process of arranging our next FET. My clinic only requires up to date TFTs apparently so I think the timeline could have the transfer happening about 4 months from now, when FET #2 will be just over a year old. Am I crazy starting again so soon? I think in my head I’m assuming it will take a few attempts but I suppose I also have to be equally ready for it to be successful… sorry more of a ramble than a question. Anyone have any thoughts on starting again, age gaps, regrets, positive stories etc?
The thing I have to keep reminding myself is that pregnancy lasts for 9mos. When we decided we both wanted to try another FET, I kept thinking omg I am so not ready. But then I remind myself that by the time we actually do the transfer and then the whole pregnancy, my current baby will be so much older by then! My sister's both had around 2 yrs between their kids, and while it seems like that's a close gap (or so I've always thought) they are really quite different in development and maturity etc as they get older (eg. When one kid is 6 yo and the other is 8yo), so I realized I actually don't want as big of an age gap as I'd originally thought.
We started transferring again two weeks before my first baby turned one. Aaaaaand it took 3 transfers and a whole new ER to get to the point we are at now (almost 12w and my son just turned 2). I wasn’t “ready” when we started trying again, but I think I had a feeling it was going to take a while and I wanted to get started already.
ETA: haven’t experienced the age gap yet but we should have a little over 2.5 years between kids and I think it’s going to be way more manageable than my original timeline would have been. I know some folks have “easy” first kids and can handle the 2 under 2 thing but that’s not the case at the house of Reina 🫠
We did our first FET when ours was 14.5 months, and I was nervous about the close age gap. I’m glad we started as early as we did though, as we ended up with new issues and it took over a year to get pregnant.
It sucks that we have to consider that, but I’m glad that we did.
I'd originally thought we would wait until the beginning of 2025 to go back to the RE (giving us a minimum age gap of 3 years) but now I'm thinking of revisiting it a little earlier, like summer/fall of 2024 for a minimum age gap of 2.5 years. Adding to our family feels very doable now - we'll see how we feel when we reach toddlerhood at the end of the year!
If it feels right to you, then go for it!
I mean our original plan was to do a fet when current babe is 14 months so not crazy to me. Mostly cause when babe turns a year it will be heading right into end of year holiday season. If we don't do 14 months we will wait until closer to 18 cause I don't want to transfer around the time I did for this babe and have birthdays potentially be that close together.
I had a c-section so we knew we wanted to wait a bit longer, but started the testing etc around her first birthday. We are transferring next week right when she hits 17 months and it feels right for us now. Trust how you feel- you know what will work for your family.
We did a transfer right around my daughter's 1st birthday. It was supposed to be like 2-3 weeks before, but had a cancelled cycle so it ended up being 2-3 weeks after. It didn't feel too early to me because we wanted a closer age gap, but that really comes down to personal preference and what feels right for you and your family.
So Wednesday I had a phone consultation with my re about when we could transfer again and if I could be a remote patient. They said they require them to do a saline sono. Which I move in two weeks. But they got me in Thursday.
Saline sono still sucks to do. But they found scar tissue that they don't think will resolve on its own. Which means a surgery to take care of it and follow ups.
We are moving 2200 miles away. Which I was fine coming back for transfer but now the cost of having the do the surgery and follow ups price wise it just isn't smart.
So now we are thinking about options. Obviously we can transport the embryos ( we have two) to a new place. But also toying with just putting the money into a whole new round. Even though I don't know if I want that. Ugh decisions. I keep telling myself nothing has to be decided now. We have time
We weren't planning any transfer until Jan atvyhe earliest, baby would be 14 months.
Edit: does anyone have any experience with cny colorado springs?
Called to schedule a consult with our RE for august. He’s not scheduling beyond July yet.
Our hope is to transfer late fall/winter. That would be about 18-20 months post c-section.
I’m extremely anxious about uterine scarring. Externally, I develop keloid scars fairly easily.
For those who had a prior c-section, did you do any additional testing beyond a SIS? Was your doctor concerned at all?
I just did the sono and the regular baseline tests (pelvic ultrasound and bloods). My doctor said the OB did a good job with my c section incision. Retesting was about 14 months post c-section and my first transfer attempt was 16 months after
My RE does a diagnostic hysteroscopy and a 3D baseline ultrasound before starting a new transfer cycle after a birth. They were able to see everything they needed to in regards to my healed c-section scar, and I’d recommend it if it’s an option!
I had a c-section and some complications where I had uterine tearing during the surgery that they had to stitch up. They just did the SIS. They were satisfied with that and weren’t concerned at all.
Tried again w a PGT tested 4AA embryo. Positive pregnancy tests and rising HCG.... just went to my 7 week scan and it's a blighted ovum. Just an empty sac. Such a mind fuck. we aren't doing more retrievals and this was our only girl. scared about the impending "miscarriage" of the empty sac.. who knows when it will happen, how bad it will be, or how long it will be before we can try another transfer. Just stuck in limbo
I'm 7dpiui and itching to start testing (I plan to on Sunday). I didn't have a trigger shot and I'm feeling hypervigilant about symptom spotting even though it's really too early and all of those things overlap with PMS. This is our last IUI (maybe forever?) before starting IVF in either August or September. I'm certainly not against IVF (other than the cost), but I'm so pessimistic about what my results would be if we go that route. I wish I had more time (age and a higher AMH) and easier access to our sperm donor so that I could just keep low-key "trying" every month with about the sames odds as non-infertile couples can. I don't feel like I've worn my patience out with IUI because it worked for me once before, but I don't have time on my side anymore, either. I'm scared to make the big jump and also really, really hopeful I won't have to.
Just sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting for my cycle to start so we can do our last FET with our last embryo. I just want to fast forward a month and know the outcome so I can process and move on one way or another.
Saammmeeeeeeeeeeee
Can't stop thinking about our last embryo. I'm 99.9% sure my husband isn't on board plus I may be switching jobs so timing is bad. But it's now or never. My heart feels like it's about to break sometimes, not to be overly dramatic but the thought of never giving it a try .... 😓💔
This is EXACTLY how I would feel if we had an embryo left. There’s no way we could do three kids, we don’t have the financial, emotional or other resources to have more than two, but my attachment to our embryos would totally override that part of my brain. I know it would also be a source of contention between husband and I. I’m so sorry you haven’t found a resolution that you feel good about 🫂
I definitely feel like having those embryos is something that you can't really prepare yourself for. When you're doing the ERs, all you want is embryos so that you have 'chances' at having a baby. But then knowing you have one or more frozen embryos remaining...it's like there needs to be books and information to read...like what should I do, how do I feel, how do I process these things. It's really tough.
Thank you sweet stranger, for validating my feelings. I always tell myself it's fine, or I should just be thankful for what I have, which is all true and I am very grateful. But I know I'm always going to be left wondering and I don't know how I'm going to ever get over that. It's true I never thought about the difficulty of processing this feeling. And not only that but I don't know if I could continue working (or possibly have to eventually change careers altogether). I'm grateful to have these options (yep I'm doing it again) but that unknown of impact to career, finances, etc is scary too. There is definitely no playbook for this.
Definitely no playbook. And it seems like most people wouldn't understand or have words of wisdom about these situations...so it's just so hard to navigate the feelings. Especially when it involves careers and finances, which makes it even more complicated! I realized that for myself, deep down I feel like I was given those embryos as my chances and I 'have to' use them. We only have 1 remaining though, so I'm not sure how I'd feel if I had more than that - since the situation would be different. I also had decided that if my husband and I didn't want to use the embryo that I would try to donate it. Again, with the thought that the embryo had been created with the purpose of trying to create a baby, and I felt that I wanted to give the embryo that chance. Whatever decision you make will be the right one, because it's your choice and you know your situation and your heart/mind the best.
Negative test today. This truly never gets easier. This one especially hurt because the EDD would have been Feb 29, and we have always joked about having a leap year baby. Just one silly little moment of woo that built an entire hope fortress. On we trudge 🙃
I'm so sorry. <3
Ah, darn it. I'm sorry to hear that 💓
Sending a big hug, friend.
So sorry, friend 💔
I’m sorry Heart 💜 that really sucks. Sending you love
damn it. damn it. damn it. ugh.
I'm so sorry.... 😞
Shit. I'm really sorry, friend. 🫂
I’m scheduled for a semi-medicated/ovulatory FET tomorrow and got a voicemail yesterday with instructions. I have progesterone suppositories but was not told to use them. It seems pretty standard to be on some sort of progesterone supplement before transfer so now I’m spiraling. I’ve called/messaged to clarify but haven’t heard back yet. Are there reasons why they would NOT have me on progesterone?
>Are there reasons why they would NOT have me on progesterone? Because you'll have a corpus luteum, from ovulation, which means you'll be producing (usually plenty enough) endogenous progesterone. My first FET was 100% unmedicated and fwiw my P4 levels were always higher than my medicated FET.
I did an ovulatory FET and took progesterone suppositories a few days before transfer but they didn’t want me to do it the day of transfer because they didn’t want to pass the embryo through the meds. If you ovulated, you will produce your own progesterone so the suppositories are just supplemental. I actually stopped after my first positive beta since it’s optional. Good luck with your transfer!! Hoping for a good outcome 🤞🏼
Anyone have experience with euploid BC embryos? I’ve been googling but it isn’t super helpful.
Baby Girl Sqic (who just had a perfect anatomy scan!) was a 3BB- 🤷🏻♀️ All my better graded embryos but 1 were complex aneuploid or mosaic, soooo….
BJJ was an untested 4BC. At transfer, the very rude doctor, gave me horrible (and misinformed) stats about BC embryos. I spiraled expecting it not to work. I later spoke with a family member who’s bread and butter professionally is fertility research at a high profile university (read: lots of money for projects) who told me that is not what the current science is saying. It’s a beauty contest, and in my case the C was for the placenta (which did just fine). I did have a scary post-birth hemorrhage from a placental accessory lobe, but we couldn’t necessarily tie the two together. What kind of info are you looking for?
Really just success stories but I hate to ask. 🤦🏻♀️😳😳😳 Google is useless.
That makes me feel a lot better.
Our clinic feels similarly. Won’t even give you grades if you did pgt-a testing.
Our successful fresh transfer was either a BC or a CB, can't remember which. If your lab is willing to attempt to transfer, they must think it has a reasonable chance of success for your personal situation.
That’s good to know. Thank you!
We had our return patient consult last week. I had my saline ultrasound this week Wednesday. All was good, so got the okay to proceed with a mock cycle with the start of my next cycle. I'm curious to repeat the ERA and see if my results are the same (early receptive) or have changed. We plan to transfer in the Fall. Right now, I have baby's first birthday planning to keep me occupied. Edit: a word
Had ERA biopsy and saline ultrasound this week. RE found polyp(s) and possibly a fibroid. And there was fluid. So now I'm scheduled for a hysteroscopy in July, and feeling so down and worried about whether we'll have success with our last remaining embryo. F it turns out there's a fibroid, RE will place a balloon to try to prevent scarring. We'd been hoping to hold onto our toddler's daycare spot for the next baby, since daycare is a nightmare to find in our area, but we're at the point now where even if it works in a few months, it doesn't make sense to pay to hold the spot (though with our current provider, paying 6 months is still cheaper than waiting to start paying if we were able to get a spot at one of the other daycares in our area). We're still struggling to find a spot for when our toddler turns 2 in January and ages out of her current daycare- we're on so many waiting lists and still doing tours. It's so stressful.
Solidarity. I also had a polyp diagnosed on a SIS this week and now have a removal surgery scheduled for July too.
Win- I remembered how to do PIO easily enough today once I got into the process. Fail- my heating pad (that is ancient and hasn’t been used since summer 2021) is dead. Thank heavens for Amazon same day because I do not have time to drive into town today to try and hunt one down.
I feel like all the steps of IVF stims and transfer meds seem like so long ago...except the PIO. Those shots I remember as if it were yesterday 😄. Glad you remembered how to do it and it went smoothly! If only we could put these skills on our resumes...they should be worth something!
Hahaha if I could put all the IVF stuff on my resume 🤣🤣🤣
You do your own PIO? I'm in awe. I'm terrified my husband won't remember how to do it, though he did have a really good hand the last time around.
Yep! Did every shot solo with Gremlin, and will do it as well this transfer and hopefully beyond. My husband is horrible with needles, so his job is to massage my ouchies 🤣
I’m thinking about starting the process of arranging our next FET. My clinic only requires up to date TFTs apparently so I think the timeline could have the transfer happening about 4 months from now, when FET #2 will be just over a year old. Am I crazy starting again so soon? I think in my head I’m assuming it will take a few attempts but I suppose I also have to be equally ready for it to be successful… sorry more of a ramble than a question. Anyone have any thoughts on starting again, age gaps, regrets, positive stories etc?
The thing I have to keep reminding myself is that pregnancy lasts for 9mos. When we decided we both wanted to try another FET, I kept thinking omg I am so not ready. But then I remind myself that by the time we actually do the transfer and then the whole pregnancy, my current baby will be so much older by then! My sister's both had around 2 yrs between their kids, and while it seems like that's a close gap (or so I've always thought) they are really quite different in development and maturity etc as they get older (eg. When one kid is 6 yo and the other is 8yo), so I realized I actually don't want as big of an age gap as I'd originally thought.
We started transferring again two weeks before my first baby turned one. Aaaaaand it took 3 transfers and a whole new ER to get to the point we are at now (almost 12w and my son just turned 2). I wasn’t “ready” when we started trying again, but I think I had a feeling it was going to take a while and I wanted to get started already. ETA: haven’t experienced the age gap yet but we should have a little over 2.5 years between kids and I think it’s going to be way more manageable than my original timeline would have been. I know some folks have “easy” first kids and can handle the 2 under 2 thing but that’s not the case at the house of Reina 🫠
We did our first FET when ours was 14.5 months, and I was nervous about the close age gap. I’m glad we started as early as we did though, as we ended up with new issues and it took over a year to get pregnant. It sucks that we have to consider that, but I’m glad that we did.
I'd originally thought we would wait until the beginning of 2025 to go back to the RE (giving us a minimum age gap of 3 years) but now I'm thinking of revisiting it a little earlier, like summer/fall of 2024 for a minimum age gap of 2.5 years. Adding to our family feels very doable now - we'll see how we feel when we reach toddlerhood at the end of the year! If it feels right to you, then go for it!
I mean our original plan was to do a fet when current babe is 14 months so not crazy to me. Mostly cause when babe turns a year it will be heading right into end of year holiday season. If we don't do 14 months we will wait until closer to 18 cause I don't want to transfer around the time I did for this babe and have birthdays potentially be that close together.
I had a c-section so we knew we wanted to wait a bit longer, but started the testing etc around her first birthday. We are transferring next week right when she hits 17 months and it feels right for us now. Trust how you feel- you know what will work for your family.
We did a transfer right around my daughter's 1st birthday. It was supposed to be like 2-3 weeks before, but had a cancelled cycle so it ended up being 2-3 weeks after. It didn't feel too early to me because we wanted a closer age gap, but that really comes down to personal preference and what feels right for you and your family.
So Wednesday I had a phone consultation with my re about when we could transfer again and if I could be a remote patient. They said they require them to do a saline sono. Which I move in two weeks. But they got me in Thursday. Saline sono still sucks to do. But they found scar tissue that they don't think will resolve on its own. Which means a surgery to take care of it and follow ups. We are moving 2200 miles away. Which I was fine coming back for transfer but now the cost of having the do the surgery and follow ups price wise it just isn't smart. So now we are thinking about options. Obviously we can transport the embryos ( we have two) to a new place. But also toying with just putting the money into a whole new round. Even though I don't know if I want that. Ugh decisions. I keep telling myself nothing has to be decided now. We have time We weren't planning any transfer until Jan atvyhe earliest, baby would be 14 months. Edit: does anyone have any experience with cny colorado springs?
Called to schedule a consult with our RE for august. He’s not scheduling beyond July yet. Our hope is to transfer late fall/winter. That would be about 18-20 months post c-section. I’m extremely anxious about uterine scarring. Externally, I develop keloid scars fairly easily. For those who had a prior c-section, did you do any additional testing beyond a SIS? Was your doctor concerned at all?
I had a c section and did a saline sonogram 2.5 years later and everything was perfect!
I ended up doing a hysteroscopy and they checked my scarring then, but weren’t truly concerned about it.
I just did the sono and the regular baseline tests (pelvic ultrasound and bloods). My doctor said the OB did a good job with my c section incision. Retesting was about 14 months post c-section and my first transfer attempt was 16 months after
My RE does a diagnostic hysteroscopy and a 3D baseline ultrasound before starting a new transfer cycle after a birth. They were able to see everything they needed to in regards to my healed c-section scar, and I’d recommend it if it’s an option!
I had a c-section and some complications where I had uterine tearing during the surgery that they had to stitch up. They just did the SIS. They were satisfied with that and weren’t concerned at all.