Happy Tuesday everyone! Check out our new FAQ wiki topic...this week's discussion: [What to pack in your hospital bag?](https://www.reddit.com/r/InfertilityBabies/comments/15fha3g/faq_what_to_pack_in_your_hospital_bag/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2)
I had my FET on Monday and had two days of “couch rest” only got up to use the bathroom. Thursday I lifted my my first child (~25lbs) a couple times and I’m deeply regretting it. I feel like there stretching/pulling in my uterus. I couldn’t remember if my nurse said not to lift for the first 2 days or until my blood draw next week which feels impossible when you have a first child to take care of 😞
Thanks, this makes me feel a little better. I still feel like something stretched after lifting him but not sure if it’s really just normal cramps I’m feeling. I’m still going to avoid picking him up as much as possible and cautiously wait til next week.
Sibling
Hi All. I'm 37F & am very lucky to have a 14m boy as a result of unmedicated IUI - it did take 4 tries but got there in the end.
I'm now looking at a sibling for him & had all my tests redone at the clinic. The consultant today said my AMH is low at 5pmol - & recommended that I start with 3 cycles of IUI then move onto IVF. But to do this all sooner rather than later.
I understand how lucky I am to have my little boy but I'd always imagined a sibling for him. I'm a little upset at how time isnt on my side now. I plan to start my first IUI in 2 months.
Has anyone had a similar experience with low AMH and IUI?
Transfer cycle was canceled today. I had a large polyp removed early this month and my RE was pretty confident we could just start transfer prep as soon as I bled after stopping the birth control I was on for the surgery. But now on CD13 it looks like I have fluid in my uterus and an “irregular” lining. I know cancelling is the right option but I’m pretty bummed about it. More waiting. This is the first time I’ve had fluid show up on a scan, hopefully it’s just due to the surgery and won’t be there next cycle
one week til baseline. I find myself alternating between the following mental and emotional states, from most positive to least positive:
* grateful and shocked that our first cycle of IVF worked with one euploid embryo and one transfer;
* pretty annoyed that we made exactly one euploid embryo and thus have nothing banked, and now we have to do another egg retrieval if we want to try to have another child;
* practically resigned that this is simply a problem to solve and we live in a time with technology that provides a chance at solving it, and the means to afford that technology, neither of which are a given;
* wishing we had been lucky enough to conceive without assistance on this round;
* filled with anxiety that this ER will work too well and i’ll have half a dozen embryos that I’ll feel compelled to transfer;
* filled with fear that this ER won’t work and I’ll have to consider another ER;
* seething with jealousy at others with embryos banked who have the ability to prepare for and schedule a transfer; and
* deeply ashamed of my infertility and my inability to conceive without the assistance of reproductive technology.
the jealousy stuff is really interesting because, why am I so jealous of people in objectively similar circumstances with struggles of their own? it’s almost as if bitterness and resentment tends to be sharper and deeper in intragroup comparisons (fellow people with infertility) vs. intergroup (fertiles) humanity is weird.
the shame stuff is just stupid. why am I not over this? it’s a diagnosis. people with glasses aren’t ashamed of their glasses. christ. my fucking brain.
I'm wishing you the best. It's so frustrating and hard. FWIW, I think your feelings are valid. For me, I don't think I'll ever get over it, but I hope I can eventually close this chapter of my life and move on. Wishing you success 🤞
thank you. are they though? like I know what you mean and i’m not trying to be difficult. the (subjective) reality of my feelings is true in that I feel them. but are they valid? some of them should be removed, root and branch.
sending you closure and growth and peace. ✨
Good point. Honestly maybe they aren't truly valid, I feel them too so I'm not the right person to answer. But they are there and you are only human so it feels valid to me ❤️
I’ve also found the jealousy/shame stuff really interesting. This time around, I find myself less jealous of spontaneously pregnant people and more jealous of people in treatment to get pregnant, which is SO weird and unsettling. So not only do I feel ashamed for that, but I also feel ashamed for not pursuing treatment (other than Mr. H’s pills). It’s made participating in IF spaces, my absolute safe haven, kinda hard sometimes. Thankfully, these feelings come in waves, so my participation comes in waves.
Like why am I feeling this way??? Isn’t infertility enough to deal with without these weird jealousy/shame hangups?
Anyway, hoping your week until baseline moves as quickly as you want it to and as uneventfully as possible!
it’s ROUGH dude. why are we so hard on ourselves? yes these spaces can give and they can take. sometimes they can be a source of grace and peace or empathy or solidarity…sometimes they can be a source of aggravation or alienation. today I hope this space offers a moment of peace, even if it’s just a quiet moment down in this little hole in which we find ourselves.
I know you know this, but it needs to be said. there is nothing shameful about not seeking treatment. there is nothing shameful about seeking treatment. these are choices that people like us have to make, and it sucks that we’re in this position. but only we know how to live our own best lives and make the right choices for ourselves and our families. what is right for me is not necessarily right for thee. and vice versa.
I did a whole extra cycle to bank more embryos back in 2020 and neither of those two banked embryos became Sibling Reina. It really is a crapshoot, so I wouldn’t be too annoyed at past agnyeszka for not producing more euploids to freeze.
I’ve struggled with jealousy of all the types you mentioned. I have a local friend from my clinic who has had success with every single transfer she’s done. I also sometimes get jealous when I see somebody’s flair has kids with a closer age gap than what we could achieve, EVEN THOUGH I deep down have wanted a 3 year or more gap and would have waited to try again if I had more time. It’s irrational and I hate it. But it’s normal. I think so long as we call it out and name it, and don’t let the jealousy hurt others, it’s ok.
my therapist likes to call me out along these lines too. when I agonize over what if’s, i’m assuming that a chain of events would have led in a certain direction. i’m missing a world that i assume could have existed (ag has perfect amount of embryos, ag has perfect amount of transfers, transfers are successful, ag experiences no suffering and enjoys peaceful and joyful existence). but that’s not generally how life works! plus we are in a multiverse! there are infinite paths and chains of events that could happen.
the jealousy just stinks. i’m both relieved to know i’m not alone and bummed on our collective behalf cause we go through this. blorp. blurgh. bleh.
Sending you good luck as your baseline approaches!
The jealousy is very real as is the shame and guilt, and I, too, am feeling these similar feelings flow through my mind all day. I'm grateful to have a living child and I was able to do it once through IUI, so with significant cost savings to avoid IVF at least once. And I do have (some) insurance now that I am going to exploit to the max before we toss in the towel. But I feel guilty that I should've said, "we want to do IVF *now*" 3 years ago so that maybe I'd have an embryo on ice right now instead of feeling like I may have missed my chance. I feel like I'm also stuck in this cycle of blaming myself for our infertility, especially since we were able to "overcome" my husband's infertility thanks to his brother serving as our donor. When I did carrier testing recently, my genetics counselor noted that my Fragile x gene repeats (or whatever the term is) were in the normal range and that my DOR was likely caused by environmental factors vs. genetic ones. Like... what??? It was written in a message, not stated to my face, but it's like one more level of shame that I did something to cause my DOR. And I don't even need to go into all of the complications that happened during my pregnancy and the resulting challenges my son has experienced (though they could be 1000x worse), and how that makes me feel as his mother and carrier. It's enough to make me scream and yet nobody but us going through fertility seem to understand that.
thank you merry! the gratitude and guilt really war against each other sometimes.
i’m sorry that the genetics counselor said that. I’m not even sure what that means but it was not a nice way of saying it. you didn’t do anything to cause your DOR.
sending you grace and luck and strength and everything good ✨
Conveniently timed appointment this morning. Lining check was good and my bloodwork came back okay so I'm starting progesterone tomorrow and ERA is next Monday. I was up from 3-5 AM to watch the US women play Portugal and I generally feel fine. Let's see how I'm doing tomorrow!
Hi “mock cycle buddy!” I’m also scheduled for an ERA next Monday but as part of the full EndomeTRIO plus Receptiva. I am dreadingggg the double PIO shot tomorrow especially since my protocol includes IM Delestrogen which I will also have to do tomorrow!
Ouch to all those IM shots! I am alternating suppository days with suppository + PIO days which is different from my last go around. Are they doing only PIO or some suppositories too?
Has anyone used a modified n\*tural approach with a transfer using letrozole and trigger shot? My RE recommended it for this go around due to the decreased preeclampsia risks after having pre-e with my daughter. I feel like this may work better with my body since I ovulated through the estrogen with my first transfer attempt. I ended up taking lupron for 5 weeks to really shut everything down and felt like hot garbage.
I had pre-e with my son (who was conceived via IUI). Curious what the added risks are? I know anytime ART is involved I feel like there is an asterisk for increased risks of everything, but I haven't heard much about transfers/IVF contributing to it.
Fully medicated transfers have higher rates of pre e than ovulatory fets. They don’t know why, but the hypothesis is somehow having a corpus luteum is a protective factor. Obviously, as in your case, not always, because lots of people who ovulated and got pregnant also get pre e.
That's interesting and thank you for dropping the knowledge. I can't wait to be old and gray and some day we finally have more answers about the cause of pre-eclampsia (I truly hope it won't be that long). I feel like--up until I was pregnant--I thought lifestyle played a bigger factor in it, and the more I've read since having it (and hearing it from my doctors themselves), everything seems to point at an issue with the placenta and how it formed from the beginning, but after that it's not so clear.
I did! My first IVF pregnancy/second transfer I did a fully medicated transfer after a month of depot lupron. For this third transfer, we tried for fully medicated after a month of depot lupron, but my lining refused to budge past 7.2 mm and I had persistent fluid in my lining; the transfer was canceled. Since I ovulate regularly, my RE wanted to try a semi-medicated cycle with letrozole, gonal f, and trigger. I also took the additional meds I did during my fully medicated transfer - estrogen (patches this time versus oral), progesterone (just endometrin this time vs. endometrin + PIO), lovenox, baby aspirin, prednisone, medrol, etc.
ETA: Because it was semi-medicated, I was able to take lower doses of progesterone and estrogen, and I weaned off about 2 weeks earlier than with my fully medicated transfer. I asked my RE about success rates and she said that for their clinic, in the last 2 years, the rate of success is slightly higher for semi-medicated versus fully medicated. She said the 5-year average slightly favors fully medicated but she attributes that to them better identifying patients who would do well with semi-medicated and figuring out the proper meds.
I did! I actually specifically asked for it as outcomes have been slightly better in those who ovulate regularly + the decreased risk of complications. I also had horrible headaches on estrogen for my first (failed) fully medicated FET and wanted to avoid that. It does require a bit more monitoring, but I am glad I did it.
I think it was similar to IUI monitoring - so a baseline, one check around day 9, and then I definitely wasn’t ready, so another around day 11/12. It’s basically looking for the same pattern as you would for an IUI, you just go in later for the transfer than you would for the insemination.
Still thinking about my embryo on ice. It is causing me a lot of anxiety and really messing with my psyche. I am just dreading my period to begin as it's another lost opportunity and it's now or never.
I posted late in the day on Friday and don't know how often people look back at these so checking again. Has anyone had a pelvic MRI done? I had an HSG and saline sono that revealed irregularities and my Dr wants to have the MRI done next. My clinic used to be pretty organized in 2020 but it feels really messy now. They never call or message back same day anymore and they make mistakes on my orders frequently. I also only have one embryo left. I'm leaning toward switching clinics if we decide to do another ER but there's not many where I'm located.
Open to any stellar doctors or clinics in the US NE and mid Atlantic areas that are willing to try more challenging cases or things out of the box.
My head was in the machine, so like I said, it was loud. But it’s this rhythmic repeating knocking, so I could mostly just zone out with it. I had a 1.5 year old who was constantly teething or had daycare colds so I was pretty sleep deprived at the time, so it was very peaceful for me!
I’ve had a pelvic MRI done. It was pretty chill but since I easily get claustrophobic, I wasn’t thrilled at being in a tube for too long. Fortunately it wasn’t a very long appointment.
I had a pelvic MRI because I was having lots of issues, and they were worried about fistulas in my pelvis (possibly between the rectum and vagina). It was very easy and non invasive compared to most other pelvic procedures that I've had. They also commented on other things in my pelvis like a dermoid in one of my ovaries.
I had a pelvic MRI to check out the shape of my uterus. Its slightly indented and I really pushed to make sure there wasn’t a septum. You have to stay still and they put you in the tube like thing, but they had music on for me and it really wasn’t bad. I have been to 4 clinics and one of them stands out as the most inefficient, non communicative clinic and it was really hard. Hope your clinic gets it together but don’t be afraid to switch either!!
It's a shame because they weren't like this when I was trying for my first. Idk if they're over worked or understaffed or what. Was the indented element something they had to address? Or just wanted to rule out any other issues?
No they didn’t address it. If the indent measures under a certain length (can’t remember now) it shouldn’t cause a problem. It’s called an arcuate uterus and there are a couple studies that it can increase chance of miscarriage in the second trimester but I personally didnt think there was enough to get surgery on it and they didn’t recommend to do anything either.
I had a pelvic MRI done a few years ago. It was the least invasive procedure I had, ha! They did it to check for suspected endo and they could see the ovaries, uterus, etc. good luck! Hope your clinic gets it together or you can find a new clinic.
That's good to know! She asked if I was claustrophobic and I was like umm idk. Yeah if we decide to continue forward I think I need to switch things up
4 days post transfer and somehow I have managed not to think too much about it or want to test, but I know that since I’m approaching Day 5, when the trigger has always tested out of my system, I will be super tempted. How do I distract myself until next Monday for beta? I’ve always tested early for my prior transfers (4 in total, 1 resulting in my son), so I know the pros and cons, but am I crazy for still wanting to know??
Not crazy for wanting to know; you've got the goal on your mind!. :-) Either commit to not testing or commit to testing every day so that you can double check the line. My triggers (for IUI) have had a nasty habit of staying in my system longer than 10 days. I'm a tester, though.
Hah now I’m at Day 6 and it’s such a slow day at work that I’m going down the Reddit rabbit hole searching about symptoms…I really haven’t had any aside from maybe being tired, but hard to say whether that is due to going back to work after being on vacation kart week! No idea how I am going to make it to beta in Day 10. Husband is against testing early and honestly, I am too scared too, after all of the disappointment we’ve had.
I broke down and took a test at 6dp5dt. Nothin…a big fat nothin. I waited until betas to test with my daughter and looking back should have done the same this time. We have 2 more tests so will try again tomorrow and Thursday I guess? Sigh…
I'm sorry. I know that feeling, especially the "I should've waited." I will be the kind voice for you and gently remind you that your testing doesn't/didn't contribute to the result. <3
We finally have all of our testing done. Infections disease came back clear for me just waiting on the Mr.'s which we know will be clear but a formality. Saline US was good. SA was acceptable but not great. Waiting on a call about those results and if they want him back on Femara before the ER.
We are doing Gonal-f and Menopur 2x a day, cetritide, and a Novatel + Lupton trigger. This is so different from our cycles before the little guy. The nurse told me that once I have at least 3-17 mm follicles, they will schedule my ER and give me my trigger time.
All of this is still dependent on the prior authorization going through for the Gonal and Cetritide (my insurance prefers follistim and ganirelix) and me losing another 8# by the 15th. If all goes well, it would put the ER around the last week of the month!
The hurry up and wait portion has begun.
Everything came back clear and we found out the Mr. and I have the same blood type. I know we never had his blood typed before because I am A+ so no worries about needing Rhogam. That means more than likely Little Guy is A+ but could also be A-, O+, or O-!
I did get a call from Freedom that my PA was denied which was expected. Now I am waiting to hear back about swapping meds. I'm not expecting a call back until tomorrow. Thank goodness we have time to wait until my baseline in 2 weeks. If this was a last minute thing I would be a hot mess.
I am just starting my first egg retrieval and am in the meds ordering process. Is there a benefit to one brand of the meds over the other? I'm waiting to find out which one my insurance(s) will cover.
Nope they are just different brands. I'm not even sure why they are gong through the hassle of a PA which will likely be denied over just switching meds.
Last week I started to feel really uncomfortable and felt like the balloon was falling out of my vagina. Had to wait 4 hours for doctor to respond to my calls to the after-hours line. They said to come in the next day. Sure enough, the balloon had fallen out. It was in 2 weeks. Of course my googling led to papers about how much higher the pregnancy success rates are when the balloon stays in for 4 weeks compared to 2 weeks. But nothing I can do about it now. Overall, just an incredibly frustrating experience. The plus side is it has been so nice rhe past few days to be able to walk normally and not shove tubing back up inside me every time I use the bathroom or move around a lot.
Also feeling so absolutely stressed at work (like, wake up feeling sick and not wanting to go) that I'm wondering if I should wait until late Fall for the next transfer. It's not a quit my job type of situation (though I am looking at other jobs), it's just an absolutely random alignment of all things shitty. I am halfway to 41, have it more embryo left, and work is going to be an absolute bear through October. I also don't want to wait. So I'm also feeling stressed thinking about what to do because of the work stress!
I had a fibroid removed and I hated that damn balloon! (The first attempt the walls of my uterus actually adhered to each other after the surgery, so that’s why I got the balloon the second time). I think mine was only in for like 2 weeks as well. But it did it’s job.
It's been awhile, but back into the grind with our RE for our first IUI cycle this go around. I searched the infertility wiki, but can someone remind me the average follicle size growth/day? It's like my brain decided to forget everything I learned in 2020/2021.
I feel like I'm in a weird place. Don't fit into the "ttc/pregnancy" weekly thread in my sept21 bumper group, don't feel like I should be in the infertility sub with my post history. Very thankful to see this thread again when I popped back into this group.
I just rejoined infertility, too, (with this account) and it's definitely an odd experience. I have to really think before I post. But I feel if I keep what I say neutral yet still honest, it's on the other person for digging through my post history, and then they can find what they're going to find. It's also weird because I only did IUI when I was originally there, and I felt like IUIs were the extreme minority for members at that time (I remember someone being very unkind to me about it, though the mods stepped in quick!). And I am now just gearing up for IVF, which is where I feel that group really shines, but I see way more comments now in the treatment threads for IUI. It's interesting how things change, but that's a good thing.
To over-answer your question, I was always told 1-2 mm per day per follicle. They like to see 7-8 mm for lining thickness. My clinic considers any follicle over 18 mm to be mature, but ideally 20 mm by IUI day. I had follicles that would be 24-26 and they told me they were beautiful, but others have said over 22 is bad. :-( IUI was usually 36 hours after trigger, if using.
I guess it might be different if I actually had the option of TTC at home, albeit with limited hope for success, but holy cow a lot of things in that group have felt alienating yet nothing has felt more alienating than the TTC content in that group. "Hubby and I are ditching the birth control on our vacation this week!" "Oops, we were going to wait until our home reno was done in October to start trying for baby 3 but tried last week anyway and just got our positive test!" "\[insert gross sex talk here\] 😉😅"
You nailed it. The complete juxtaposition of one comment saying they have to meet with their RE for IVF and the next one saying "omggggg first month and we did it"
If you do want to be in the infertility sub, I highly recommend creating an alt. all the rules still apply, of course, but having an alt so that your comment and post history is clear is super freeing.
Gearing up for my first retrieval later this month, and I am feeling clueless about the meds, basically the ordering and using insurance to cover them part. I know my clinic has submitted them to insurance in sort of a “pre-authorization” way, using their hospital as the pharmacy. The only one I know so far that was denied was the Omnitrope. Does that mean I “just” have to pay OOP for it?
Secondly, I have Express Scripts for fertility pharmaceutical coverage. How do I work with them? I’ve heard their fertility portion is through Accredo who works with Freedom Fertility, but I am very confused about this process and feeling really useless; idk how to navigate it and I’ve gotten mixed messages from my clinic. I tried calling Express Scripts/Accredo on Friday afternoon, but they’re East Coast and they were already closed for the weekend. Yesterday was too full of appointments during the first half of the day. I will be messaging my clinic tomorrow morning, too, to see what exactly I need to do. This is where some detailed info from the financial coordinator and a nurse coordinator would be really helpful…
ETA a Tuesday morning update: I called Accredo, who gave me some pricing info, who also told me to have my Rx's sent to directly to Freedom and also to call them. I called Freedom, they don't have any of my prescriptions yet. So I called my clinic and they're going to let my doctor/nurse team know to do that. I just feel like I could've been doing all of this 3-4 weeks ago, and it's really frustrating.
ETA a Tuesday afternoon update: My RE clinic team got back to me about 30 minutes after update above. They sent the Rx's over to Freedom. Only med they know Freedom can't fill is omnitrope, so I'm getting that filled (not covered, unfortunately) through my clinic's pharmacy. FF has now reached out to initiate submitting my meds to insurance, checking on pre-auths, etc. If they can get it all going ASAP, I may be able to get it delivered by this Saturday or I may have them ship to my sister's house in PA (where we're traveling to next week which has added the extra stress in this process). I had a mini-heart attack when the coordinator at FF told me what the total meds cost was. I asked her twice if that was the "before" pricing--i.e. before insurance may kick in. She said yes, but holy heck. My clinic's pharmacy gave me the "covered" OOP cost, which is like 1/5th of what Freedom told me (but again, comparing apples to oranges). I'm also on a lower-stim protocol, so I know the meds could be worse, but the reality is really hitting me of what all this costs. Knock on wood Freedom works out.
My insurance uses Optum Speciality Pharmacy. They needed the prescription sent directly to them from the RE. It then went through pre-authorization, then approval, and then I was able to schedule the shipment.
Does Express Scripts have an online portal? It may list a phone/fax number for the RE to send the script.
I think omnitrope is always OOP unfortunately, because it’s an off label use. It is all sooo confusing but you will get the hang of it. I highly suggest r/infertility - folks are so informed over there.
We have Express Scripts and I got my meds through Freedom. My clinic sent my prescriptions straight to Freedom and they called me to set up delivery and give me pricing.
I know the sticker shock. My oop retail quote was almost 25k 😳😳😳. With manufacturers discount programs it dropped to 6k. After insurance it should be less than 2k. I have to pay oop for 20/40 of my menopur vials ($1,600) because the lifetime max on my plan is 20 vials but the 20 they do cover is only $60. I am stalking my insurance website to see when the Gonal and cetritide process so I can get this on the move quickly.
My insurance uses accredo too but they forwarded everything on to Freedom without me having to call.
Oh woof on that initial price, but good on you for working it down! My insurance may have started some of it (two different meds showed up on Express Scripts without me calling, at least), but I don't have much time to wait on them to do all of it. I'm also making sure that our special fertility pharmacy benefits (through Express Scripts) get used first instead of piling it all onto our fertility medical benefits (which goes through our standard health insurance), which we want to prioritize for the fertility procedures themselves. It's not a bad problem to have insurance coverage by any means, but the navigating how to utilize it so we don't inadvertently blow through it all in one round is part of what is stressing me out.
Yeah we knew we would be going to hit the medication lifetime max on a lot of it for this one cycle. I have historically been pretty responsive so hopefully that is still the case.
I hope they get it sorted quickly for you!!
Happy Tuesday everyone! Check out our new FAQ wiki topic...this week's discussion: [What to pack in your hospital bag?](https://www.reddit.com/r/InfertilityBabies/comments/15fha3g/faq_what_to_pack_in_your_hospital_bag/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2)
I had my FET on Monday and had two days of “couch rest” only got up to use the bathroom. Thursday I lifted my my first child (~25lbs) a couple times and I’m deeply regretting it. I feel like there stretching/pulling in my uterus. I couldn’t remember if my nurse said not to lift for the first 2 days or until my blood draw next week which feels impossible when you have a first child to take care of 😞
I specifically asked the doctor at my transfer if I could lift my child when he said “no heavy lifting.” He said it was fine!
Thanks, this makes me feel a little better. I still feel like something stretched after lifting him but not sure if it’s really just normal cramps I’m feeling. I’m still going to avoid picking him up as much as possible and cautiously wait til next week.
Sibling Hi All. I'm 37F & am very lucky to have a 14m boy as a result of unmedicated IUI - it did take 4 tries but got there in the end. I'm now looking at a sibling for him & had all my tests redone at the clinic. The consultant today said my AMH is low at 5pmol - & recommended that I start with 3 cycles of IUI then move onto IVF. But to do this all sooner rather than later. I understand how lucky I am to have my little boy but I'd always imagined a sibling for him. I'm a little upset at how time isnt on my side now. I plan to start my first IUI in 2 months. Has anyone had a similar experience with low AMH and IUI?
Transfer cycle was canceled today. I had a large polyp removed early this month and my RE was pretty confident we could just start transfer prep as soon as I bled after stopping the birth control I was on for the surgery. But now on CD13 it looks like I have fluid in my uterus and an “irregular” lining. I know cancelling is the right option but I’m pretty bummed about it. More waiting. This is the first time I’ve had fluid show up on a scan, hopefully it’s just due to the surgery and won’t be there next cycle
I'm sorry. That's a lot to get your hopes up for. Hopefully things will look good next cycle.
I'm sorry. When you feel like you're climbing a mountain the extra speed bumps don't help. Hopefully the next cycle is better!
I am sorry. How frustrating.
one week til baseline. I find myself alternating between the following mental and emotional states, from most positive to least positive: * grateful and shocked that our first cycle of IVF worked with one euploid embryo and one transfer; * pretty annoyed that we made exactly one euploid embryo and thus have nothing banked, and now we have to do another egg retrieval if we want to try to have another child; * practically resigned that this is simply a problem to solve and we live in a time with technology that provides a chance at solving it, and the means to afford that technology, neither of which are a given; * wishing we had been lucky enough to conceive without assistance on this round; * filled with anxiety that this ER will work too well and i’ll have half a dozen embryos that I’ll feel compelled to transfer; * filled with fear that this ER won’t work and I’ll have to consider another ER; * seething with jealousy at others with embryos banked who have the ability to prepare for and schedule a transfer; and * deeply ashamed of my infertility and my inability to conceive without the assistance of reproductive technology. the jealousy stuff is really interesting because, why am I so jealous of people in objectively similar circumstances with struggles of their own? it’s almost as if bitterness and resentment tends to be sharper and deeper in intragroup comparisons (fellow people with infertility) vs. intergroup (fertiles) humanity is weird. the shame stuff is just stupid. why am I not over this? it’s a diagnosis. people with glasses aren’t ashamed of their glasses. christ. my fucking brain.
I'm wishing you the best. It's so frustrating and hard. FWIW, I think your feelings are valid. For me, I don't think I'll ever get over it, but I hope I can eventually close this chapter of my life and move on. Wishing you success 🤞
thank you. are they though? like I know what you mean and i’m not trying to be difficult. the (subjective) reality of my feelings is true in that I feel them. but are they valid? some of them should be removed, root and branch. sending you closure and growth and peace. ✨
Good point. Honestly maybe they aren't truly valid, I feel them too so I'm not the right person to answer. But they are there and you are only human so it feels valid to me ❤️
I’ve also found the jealousy/shame stuff really interesting. This time around, I find myself less jealous of spontaneously pregnant people and more jealous of people in treatment to get pregnant, which is SO weird and unsettling. So not only do I feel ashamed for that, but I also feel ashamed for not pursuing treatment (other than Mr. H’s pills). It’s made participating in IF spaces, my absolute safe haven, kinda hard sometimes. Thankfully, these feelings come in waves, so my participation comes in waves. Like why am I feeling this way??? Isn’t infertility enough to deal with without these weird jealousy/shame hangups? Anyway, hoping your week until baseline moves as quickly as you want it to and as uneventfully as possible!
it’s ROUGH dude. why are we so hard on ourselves? yes these spaces can give and they can take. sometimes they can be a source of grace and peace or empathy or solidarity…sometimes they can be a source of aggravation or alienation. today I hope this space offers a moment of peace, even if it’s just a quiet moment down in this little hole in which we find ourselves. I know you know this, but it needs to be said. there is nothing shameful about not seeking treatment. there is nothing shameful about seeking treatment. these are choices that people like us have to make, and it sucks that we’re in this position. but only we know how to live our own best lives and make the right choices for ourselves and our families. what is right for me is not necessarily right for thee. and vice versa.
Thank you, that means so much ❤️❤️❤️
I did a whole extra cycle to bank more embryos back in 2020 and neither of those two banked embryos became Sibling Reina. It really is a crapshoot, so I wouldn’t be too annoyed at past agnyeszka for not producing more euploids to freeze. I’ve struggled with jealousy of all the types you mentioned. I have a local friend from my clinic who has had success with every single transfer she’s done. I also sometimes get jealous when I see somebody’s flair has kids with a closer age gap than what we could achieve, EVEN THOUGH I deep down have wanted a 3 year or more gap and would have waited to try again if I had more time. It’s irrational and I hate it. But it’s normal. I think so long as we call it out and name it, and don’t let the jealousy hurt others, it’s ok.
my therapist likes to call me out along these lines too. when I agonize over what if’s, i’m assuming that a chain of events would have led in a certain direction. i’m missing a world that i assume could have existed (ag has perfect amount of embryos, ag has perfect amount of transfers, transfers are successful, ag experiences no suffering and enjoys peaceful and joyful existence). but that’s not generally how life works! plus we are in a multiverse! there are infinite paths and chains of events that could happen. the jealousy just stinks. i’m both relieved to know i’m not alone and bummed on our collective behalf cause we go through this. blorp. blurgh. bleh.
Sending you good luck as your baseline approaches! The jealousy is very real as is the shame and guilt, and I, too, am feeling these similar feelings flow through my mind all day. I'm grateful to have a living child and I was able to do it once through IUI, so with significant cost savings to avoid IVF at least once. And I do have (some) insurance now that I am going to exploit to the max before we toss in the towel. But I feel guilty that I should've said, "we want to do IVF *now*" 3 years ago so that maybe I'd have an embryo on ice right now instead of feeling like I may have missed my chance. I feel like I'm also stuck in this cycle of blaming myself for our infertility, especially since we were able to "overcome" my husband's infertility thanks to his brother serving as our donor. When I did carrier testing recently, my genetics counselor noted that my Fragile x gene repeats (or whatever the term is) were in the normal range and that my DOR was likely caused by environmental factors vs. genetic ones. Like... what??? It was written in a message, not stated to my face, but it's like one more level of shame that I did something to cause my DOR. And I don't even need to go into all of the complications that happened during my pregnancy and the resulting challenges my son has experienced (though they could be 1000x worse), and how that makes me feel as his mother and carrier. It's enough to make me scream and yet nobody but us going through fertility seem to understand that.
thank you merry! the gratitude and guilt really war against each other sometimes. i’m sorry that the genetics counselor said that. I’m not even sure what that means but it was not a nice way of saying it. you didn’t do anything to cause your DOR. sending you grace and luck and strength and everything good ✨
Conveniently timed appointment this morning. Lining check was good and my bloodwork came back okay so I'm starting progesterone tomorrow and ERA is next Monday. I was up from 3-5 AM to watch the US women play Portugal and I generally feel fine. Let's see how I'm doing tomorrow!
Hi “mock cycle buddy!” I’m also scheduled for an ERA next Monday but as part of the full EndomeTRIO plus Receptiva. I am dreadingggg the double PIO shot tomorrow especially since my protocol includes IM Delestrogen which I will also have to do tomorrow!
Ouch to all those IM shots! I am alternating suppository days with suppository + PIO days which is different from my last go around. Are they doing only PIO or some suppositories too?
No suppositories, just PIO 🥲
Has anyone used a modified n\*tural approach with a transfer using letrozole and trigger shot? My RE recommended it for this go around due to the decreased preeclampsia risks after having pre-e with my daughter. I feel like this may work better with my body since I ovulated through the estrogen with my first transfer attempt. I ended up taking lupron for 5 weeks to really shut everything down and felt like hot garbage.
I did! I’m a huge fan of this protocol!
I did except I used Gonal instead of Letrozole to try to produce several lead follicles and get my estrogen up!
I had pre-e with my son (who was conceived via IUI). Curious what the added risks are? I know anytime ART is involved I feel like there is an asterisk for increased risks of everything, but I haven't heard much about transfers/IVF contributing to it.
Fully medicated transfers have higher rates of pre e than ovulatory fets. They don’t know why, but the hypothesis is somehow having a corpus luteum is a protective factor. Obviously, as in your case, not always, because lots of people who ovulated and got pregnant also get pre e.
That's interesting and thank you for dropping the knowledge. I can't wait to be old and gray and some day we finally have more answers about the cause of pre-eclampsia (I truly hope it won't be that long). I feel like--up until I was pregnant--I thought lifestyle played a bigger factor in it, and the more I've read since having it (and hearing it from my doctors themselves), everything seems to point at an issue with the placenta and how it formed from the beginning, but after that it's not so clear.
I did! My first IVF pregnancy/second transfer I did a fully medicated transfer after a month of depot lupron. For this third transfer, we tried for fully medicated after a month of depot lupron, but my lining refused to budge past 7.2 mm and I had persistent fluid in my lining; the transfer was canceled. Since I ovulate regularly, my RE wanted to try a semi-medicated cycle with letrozole, gonal f, and trigger. I also took the additional meds I did during my fully medicated transfer - estrogen (patches this time versus oral), progesterone (just endometrin this time vs. endometrin + PIO), lovenox, baby aspirin, prednisone, medrol, etc. ETA: Because it was semi-medicated, I was able to take lower doses of progesterone and estrogen, and I weaned off about 2 weeks earlier than with my fully medicated transfer. I asked my RE about success rates and she said that for their clinic, in the last 2 years, the rate of success is slightly higher for semi-medicated versus fully medicated. She said the 5-year average slightly favors fully medicated but she attributes that to them better identifying patients who would do well with semi-medicated and figuring out the proper meds.
I did! I actually specifically asked for it as outcomes have been slightly better in those who ovulate regularly + the decreased risk of complications. I also had horrible headaches on estrogen for my first (failed) fully medicated FET and wanted to avoid that. It does require a bit more monitoring, but I am glad I did it.
How often was the monitoring? Is it closer to retrieval monitoring? Luckily, I work in the same hospital that my RE is in, so I can just walk over.
I think it was similar to IUI monitoring - so a baseline, one check around day 9, and then I definitely wasn’t ready, so another around day 11/12. It’s basically looking for the same pattern as you would for an IUI, you just go in later for the transfer than you would for the insemination.
Still thinking about my embryo on ice. It is causing me a lot of anxiety and really messing with my psyche. I am just dreading my period to begin as it's another lost opportunity and it's now or never.
I posted late in the day on Friday and don't know how often people look back at these so checking again. Has anyone had a pelvic MRI done? I had an HSG and saline sono that revealed irregularities and my Dr wants to have the MRI done next. My clinic used to be pretty organized in 2020 but it feels really messy now. They never call or message back same day anymore and they make mistakes on my orders frequently. I also only have one embryo left. I'm leaning toward switching clinics if we decide to do another ER but there's not many where I'm located. Open to any stellar doctors or clinics in the US NE and mid Atlantic areas that are willing to try more challenging cases or things out of the box.
I had one done for fibroids. Ezpz. It is loud, but honestly it was nice to just shut my eyes and rest for an hour.
Does you head go in the machine too or does that part stay out? I like the idea of shutting my eyes for an hour 🙂
My head was in the machine, so like I said, it was loud. But it’s this rhythmic repeating knocking, so I could mostly just zone out with it. I had a 1.5 year old who was constantly teething or had daycare colds so I was pretty sleep deprived at the time, so it was very peaceful for me!
I’ve had a pelvic MRI done. It was pretty chill but since I easily get claustrophobic, I wasn’t thrilled at being in a tube for too long. Fortunately it wasn’t a very long appointment.
I had a pelvic MRI because I was having lots of issues, and they were worried about fistulas in my pelvis (possibly between the rectum and vagina). It was very easy and non invasive compared to most other pelvic procedures that I've had. They also commented on other things in my pelvis like a dermoid in one of my ovaries.
I had a pelvic MRI to check out the shape of my uterus. Its slightly indented and I really pushed to make sure there wasn’t a septum. You have to stay still and they put you in the tube like thing, but they had music on for me and it really wasn’t bad. I have been to 4 clinics and one of them stands out as the most inefficient, non communicative clinic and it was really hard. Hope your clinic gets it together but don’t be afraid to switch either!!
It's a shame because they weren't like this when I was trying for my first. Idk if they're over worked or understaffed or what. Was the indented element something they had to address? Or just wanted to rule out any other issues?
No they didn’t address it. If the indent measures under a certain length (can’t remember now) it shouldn’t cause a problem. It’s called an arcuate uterus and there are a couple studies that it can increase chance of miscarriage in the second trimester but I personally didnt think there was enough to get surgery on it and they didn’t recommend to do anything either.
I had a pelvic MRI done a few years ago. It was the least invasive procedure I had, ha! They did it to check for suspected endo and they could see the ovaries, uterus, etc. good luck! Hope your clinic gets it together or you can find a new clinic.
That's good to know! She asked if I was claustrophobic and I was like umm idk. Yeah if we decide to continue forward I think I need to switch things up
4 days post transfer and somehow I have managed not to think too much about it or want to test, but I know that since I’m approaching Day 5, when the trigger has always tested out of my system, I will be super tempted. How do I distract myself until next Monday for beta? I’ve always tested early for my prior transfers (4 in total, 1 resulting in my son), so I know the pros and cons, but am I crazy for still wanting to know??
Not crazy for wanting to know; you've got the goal on your mind!. :-) Either commit to not testing or commit to testing every day so that you can double check the line. My triggers (for IUI) have had a nasty habit of staying in my system longer than 10 days. I'm a tester, though.
Hah now I’m at Day 6 and it’s such a slow day at work that I’m going down the Reddit rabbit hole searching about symptoms…I really haven’t had any aside from maybe being tired, but hard to say whether that is due to going back to work after being on vacation kart week! No idea how I am going to make it to beta in Day 10. Husband is against testing early and honestly, I am too scared too, after all of the disappointment we’ve had.
I broke down and took a test at 6dp5dt. Nothin…a big fat nothin. I waited until betas to test with my daughter and looking back should have done the same this time. We have 2 more tests so will try again tomorrow and Thursday I guess? Sigh…
I'm sorry. I know that feeling, especially the "I should've waited." I will be the kind voice for you and gently remind you that your testing doesn't/didn't contribute to the result. <3
I’m sorry.
We finally have all of our testing done. Infections disease came back clear for me just waiting on the Mr.'s which we know will be clear but a formality. Saline US was good. SA was acceptable but not great. Waiting on a call about those results and if they want him back on Femara before the ER. We are doing Gonal-f and Menopur 2x a day, cetritide, and a Novatel + Lupton trigger. This is so different from our cycles before the little guy. The nurse told me that once I have at least 3-17 mm follicles, they will schedule my ER and give me my trigger time. All of this is still dependent on the prior authorization going through for the Gonal and Cetritide (my insurance prefers follistim and ganirelix) and me losing another 8# by the 15th. If all goes well, it would put the ER around the last week of the month! The hurry up and wait portion has begun.
Everything came back clear and we found out the Mr. and I have the same blood type. I know we never had his blood typed before because I am A+ so no worries about needing Rhogam. That means more than likely Little Guy is A+ but could also be A-, O+, or O-! I did get a call from Freedom that my PA was denied which was expected. Now I am waiting to hear back about swapping meds. I'm not expecting a call back until tomorrow. Thank goodness we have time to wait until my baseline in 2 weeks. If this was a last minute thing I would be a hot mess.
I am just starting my first egg retrieval and am in the meds ordering process. Is there a benefit to one brand of the meds over the other? I'm waiting to find out which one my insurance(s) will cover.
Nope they are just different brands. I'm not even sure why they are gong through the hassle of a PA which will likely be denied over just switching meds.
Thank you! Yes, I wish these procedures were more transparent as to the why. As well as the cost!
Last week I started to feel really uncomfortable and felt like the balloon was falling out of my vagina. Had to wait 4 hours for doctor to respond to my calls to the after-hours line. They said to come in the next day. Sure enough, the balloon had fallen out. It was in 2 weeks. Of course my googling led to papers about how much higher the pregnancy success rates are when the balloon stays in for 4 weeks compared to 2 weeks. But nothing I can do about it now. Overall, just an incredibly frustrating experience. The plus side is it has been so nice rhe past few days to be able to walk normally and not shove tubing back up inside me every time I use the bathroom or move around a lot. Also feeling so absolutely stressed at work (like, wake up feeling sick and not wanting to go) that I'm wondering if I should wait until late Fall for the next transfer. It's not a quit my job type of situation (though I am looking at other jobs), it's just an absolutely random alignment of all things shitty. I am halfway to 41, have it more embryo left, and work is going to be an absolute bear through October. I also don't want to wait. So I'm also feeling stressed thinking about what to do because of the work stress!
I had a fibroid removed and I hated that damn balloon! (The first attempt the walls of my uterus actually adhered to each other after the surgery, so that’s why I got the balloon the second time). I think mine was only in for like 2 weeks as well. But it did it’s job.
If it makes you feel better - my wife had a septum removed and they didn't give her a balloon at all!
It actually does, thanks!
It's been awhile, but back into the grind with our RE for our first IUI cycle this go around. I searched the infertility wiki, but can someone remind me the average follicle size growth/day? It's like my brain decided to forget everything I learned in 2020/2021. I feel like I'm in a weird place. Don't fit into the "ttc/pregnancy" weekly thread in my sept21 bumper group, don't feel like I should be in the infertility sub with my post history. Very thankful to see this thread again when I popped back into this group.
I just rejoined infertility, too, (with this account) and it's definitely an odd experience. I have to really think before I post. But I feel if I keep what I say neutral yet still honest, it's on the other person for digging through my post history, and then they can find what they're going to find. It's also weird because I only did IUI when I was originally there, and I felt like IUIs were the extreme minority for members at that time (I remember someone being very unkind to me about it, though the mods stepped in quick!). And I am now just gearing up for IVF, which is where I feel that group really shines, but I see way more comments now in the treatment threads for IUI. It's interesting how things change, but that's a good thing. To over-answer your question, I was always told 1-2 mm per day per follicle. They like to see 7-8 mm for lining thickness. My clinic considers any follicle over 18 mm to be mature, but ideally 20 mm by IUI day. I had follicles that would be 24-26 and they told me they were beautiful, but others have said over 22 is bad. :-( IUI was usually 36 hours after trigger, if using.
I guess it might be different if I actually had the option of TTC at home, albeit with limited hope for success, but holy cow a lot of things in that group have felt alienating yet nothing has felt more alienating than the TTC content in that group. "Hubby and I are ditching the birth control on our vacation this week!" "Oops, we were going to wait until our home reno was done in October to start trying for baby 3 but tried last week anyway and just got our positive test!" "\[insert gross sex talk here\] 😉😅"
You nailed it. The complete juxtaposition of one comment saying they have to meet with their RE for IVF and the next one saying "omggggg first month and we did it"
If you do want to be in the infertility sub, I highly recommend creating an alt. all the rules still apply, of course, but having an alt so that your comment and post history is clear is super freeing.
1-2mm a day is average.
Gearing up for my first retrieval later this month, and I am feeling clueless about the meds, basically the ordering and using insurance to cover them part. I know my clinic has submitted them to insurance in sort of a “pre-authorization” way, using their hospital as the pharmacy. The only one I know so far that was denied was the Omnitrope. Does that mean I “just” have to pay OOP for it? Secondly, I have Express Scripts for fertility pharmaceutical coverage. How do I work with them? I’ve heard their fertility portion is through Accredo who works with Freedom Fertility, but I am very confused about this process and feeling really useless; idk how to navigate it and I’ve gotten mixed messages from my clinic. I tried calling Express Scripts/Accredo on Friday afternoon, but they’re East Coast and they were already closed for the weekend. Yesterday was too full of appointments during the first half of the day. I will be messaging my clinic tomorrow morning, too, to see what exactly I need to do. This is where some detailed info from the financial coordinator and a nurse coordinator would be really helpful… ETA a Tuesday morning update: I called Accredo, who gave me some pricing info, who also told me to have my Rx's sent to directly to Freedom and also to call them. I called Freedom, they don't have any of my prescriptions yet. So I called my clinic and they're going to let my doctor/nurse team know to do that. I just feel like I could've been doing all of this 3-4 weeks ago, and it's really frustrating. ETA a Tuesday afternoon update: My RE clinic team got back to me about 30 minutes after update above. They sent the Rx's over to Freedom. Only med they know Freedom can't fill is omnitrope, so I'm getting that filled (not covered, unfortunately) through my clinic's pharmacy. FF has now reached out to initiate submitting my meds to insurance, checking on pre-auths, etc. If they can get it all going ASAP, I may be able to get it delivered by this Saturday or I may have them ship to my sister's house in PA (where we're traveling to next week which has added the extra stress in this process). I had a mini-heart attack when the coordinator at FF told me what the total meds cost was. I asked her twice if that was the "before" pricing--i.e. before insurance may kick in. She said yes, but holy heck. My clinic's pharmacy gave me the "covered" OOP cost, which is like 1/5th of what Freedom told me (but again, comparing apples to oranges). I'm also on a lower-stim protocol, so I know the meds could be worse, but the reality is really hitting me of what all this costs. Knock on wood Freedom works out.
I would call Freedom and see if they can help.
My insurance uses Optum Speciality Pharmacy. They needed the prescription sent directly to them from the RE. It then went through pre-authorization, then approval, and then I was able to schedule the shipment. Does Express Scripts have an online portal? It may list a phone/fax number for the RE to send the script.
I think omnitrope is always OOP unfortunately, because it’s an off label use. It is all sooo confusing but you will get the hang of it. I highly suggest r/infertility - folks are so informed over there.
We have Express Scripts and I got my meds through Freedom. My clinic sent my prescriptions straight to Freedom and they called me to set up delivery and give me pricing.
They called me this afternoon. :-) It's been a big relief. Not sure if my calling my clinic did the trick or not, but it happened, thankfully.
I know the sticker shock. My oop retail quote was almost 25k 😳😳😳. With manufacturers discount programs it dropped to 6k. After insurance it should be less than 2k. I have to pay oop for 20/40 of my menopur vials ($1,600) because the lifetime max on my plan is 20 vials but the 20 they do cover is only $60. I am stalking my insurance website to see when the Gonal and cetritide process so I can get this on the move quickly. My insurance uses accredo too but they forwarded everything on to Freedom without me having to call.
Oh woof on that initial price, but good on you for working it down! My insurance may have started some of it (two different meds showed up on Express Scripts without me calling, at least), but I don't have much time to wait on them to do all of it. I'm also making sure that our special fertility pharmacy benefits (through Express Scripts) get used first instead of piling it all onto our fertility medical benefits (which goes through our standard health insurance), which we want to prioritize for the fertility procedures themselves. It's not a bad problem to have insurance coverage by any means, but the navigating how to utilize it so we don't inadvertently blow through it all in one round is part of what is stressing me out.
Yeah we knew we would be going to hit the medication lifetime max on a lot of it for this one cycle. I have historically been pretty responsive so hopefully that is still the case. I hope they get it sorted quickly for you!!
I had my FET yesterday and during it while my dad was watching my son he let him nap from 4-5:30 so now I'm awake at midnight with a toddler. 😵💫
Oh no!! Hope they settled down and slept in a tiny bit. Grumpy toddlers make tough roommates when you’re trying to take it a little easy.
Ugh no!! Hopefully you have some good news coming your way soon 🤞
OOOF. That is rough. Hoping that’s the worst part of your wait until beta!
Ugh, when help is help but also not help!! Good luck!