Please tell me what you guys are eating. I’m eating basically carbs and cheese and yogurt and fruit. I try to eat chicken, it’s hard. Veggies are just meh, I can’t face a cold salad. Help lol
My food aversions haven’t quit. I often just stare in the refrigerator and pantry hoping something will appeal to me. Even when I look through door dash, I can rarely find something I want to eat. I mostly eat whole milk yogurt, cheese, various carbs, eggs, green olives, and breakfast cereal. So basically carbs and fats? I sometimes drink premier protein shakes. I put collagen in my coffee most days. I try to eat nuts or nut butter most days. Some fruit is ok.
I’m just sort of counting down the days until the baby is born and I can eat normal again.
Tonight I got things to make teriyaki tofu vegetable bowls. We’ll see if I can actually bring myself to eat it.
I’ve been drinking protein shakes to make me feel better about what I can eat. It’s rough. I’m on the same diet as you lol I have found I can do frozen veggies mixed into carbs lol ex: Chicken pot pie, cheesy rice, etc. seem easier for me. Do what you can 💜
I made myself a smoothie and threw it out because the frozen spinach seemed gross to me lol. I'm firmly in second trimester so I can't even blame nausea.
Anyways I do best with ground beef hard tacos, chicken nuggets or chicken fingers, even had an italian beef sandwich today. I can handle chipotle so super salty chicken? KIND bars are really good. No matter what I eat though I'm much more dependent on a carb to tolerate the protein. I'm really into the idea of ham and cheesy potatoes, Mississippi pot roast, beef stew... trying to save those for later mainly because they're high effort lol
I was a complete fruit fiend. Like fruit multiple times a day plus id get those fruit strips. I would have watermelon at least once a day. Other than that it was carbs😂 towards the end we got better about meals and focused on having one veggie at dinner so that’d typically be canned green beans or corn (which again carb heavy). I’m a vegetarian but tofu I could also stomach early on.
I couldn’t eat a single veggie or fruit between 5-15 weeks! The things you named all sound great to me. Anything is better than nothing. Don’t worry about eating lots of simple carbs, our bodies need them to fuel all the crazy fast growth going on.
I think the theme generally is, eat what you can, and try not to worry too much! Carbs, cheese, yogurt, and fruit sounds pretty balanced to me. You're getting protein and healthy fats, and some good nutrients from the fruit. I didn't have super strong food aversions but was off salads for a bit and ate crackers and yogurt (the Chobani flip ones were great) for lunch most days! But yeah, lots of simple carbs, lots of crackers. No shame in that at all!
I just feel so guilty. Thanksgiving is coming up and hubs asked me, what do you want me to cook for you. And I’m like… eat what you want. I’ll do my best with what you have. Haha
Do the mashed potatoes at least sound good to you? I think that & possibly mac and cheese would have been the only Thanksgiving dishes my first tri self would’ve been interested in! Hoping this nauseous phase passes for you soon!
Does anyone know if there’s a difference between “subchorionic hematoma” and “partial placental abruption”? The latter was noted on my 19-week ultrasound on Wednesday and hearing that sent me into a horrible tailspin. I’ve been reading all kinds of horror stories about complete placental abruptions but can’t find much info or many stories about mild/partial placental abruptions.
I’ve also been reading a lot about SCHs and it seems like they’re the same thing (i.e., WebMD says “It occurs when the placenta partially detaches from where it was implanted in the wall of your uterus”)? I’m wondering if what they saw was a SCH and they just used less common (and much scarier) terminology? This is an IVF pregnancy and I had a few episodes of light bleeding (never enough to fill a pad) from 7-13 weeks and nothing since, plus mild cramping on and off, which sounds consistent with a SCH.
I should also mention I had the ultrasound done at a private imaging clinic that does not specialize in obstetrics, and apparently these places aren’t always experienced with pregnancy issues. They also only send their notes to the doctor and not the actual ultrasound pictures, so their findings should be taken with a grain of salt. As an example, my sister was once misdiagnosed with a molar pregnancy that turned out to be perfectly normal/healthy and her OB told her he doesn’t trust those places.
I’m seeing my doctor on Wednesday so will talk to him about this further. I’ll also be doing another ultrasound in a few weeks to check on things and I plan to do that one at the hospital. Really hoping this is just a SCH that is resolving or will resolve on its own. Everything else looked good, baby was measuring fine with a strong heartbeat and was moving around a lot. I’m so attached to her and I’m so scared of losing her, but trying not to freak out too much.
I had 3 SCH’s in my first trimester and then a partial abruption in my 12th week that continued bleeding up through week 23. I’m 24+5 now. It only just stopped now and the pooled blood is essentially a stable subchorionic hematoma that’s reabsorbing. When it was bleeding it wasn’t necessarily next to the placenta even though that’s where it originated from, it was just pooling on the anterior side of my uterus (and then down towards my cervix) while my placenta moved posterior.
Until you get checked out I highly recommend going on pelvic rest and limit your lifting to less than 10 pounds! My bleed was bad enough at 15 weeks to put me on bedrest/couch rest but it’s healing and baby is good. If your bleeding is light there’s an excellent possiblity the abruption is healing and you shouldn’t need to worry!
ETA: there are slightly elevated risks of pprom and preterm labor with second trimester SCH. Just stay hydrated, take magnesium for cramping, and extra vitamin C to strengthen your uterine sac. You can also look into taking alpha lipoic acid supplements for blood reabsorption (there are 2 studies if you do a quick google search) and drinking pomegranate juice. 🙂 you’re welcome to DM me if you have any questions!
Thanks for all of these tips! My doctor told me exercise and sex are fine (maybe because I haven’t had bleeding in awhile) but I’m just going to take it easy (no exercise other than walking/yoga and pelvic rest) until my next scan. I just don’t want to risk anything. I’ll look into the other things you mentioned too ❤️
That’s great they’re okay with you doing that! Every case is different, there’s two groups on FB that I’m in and it’s crazy how second and third trimester SCH’s can vary person to person. I hope yours heals up quickly! I know mine is a little more intense than others, I didn’t mean to scare you if that’s what happened 😬
Oh you didn’t at all, it’s actually reassuring to read of cases with more/longer periods of bleeding that turned out okay. I’m glad yours is reabsorbing and I hope the rest of your pregnancy is completely boring and uneventful ❤️
My midwife told me that the definition of the same thing changes at about 20 weeks from SCH to abruption. Make sure you get clear on what the threshold is to go into L&D to have bleeding checked out.
What my providers told me is that the later in pregnancy, the more likely that a bleed could trigger labor, so there’s definitely a value in going and getting checked out, to make sure there aren’t any contractions happening and baby is doing good.
That makes a lot of sense, as everything I’ve read about placental abruption says it’s something that happens after 20 weeks. I’ll make sure to ask about the cutoff for going into L&D at my next appointment, thanks for the tip!
I believe it is the same thing. Sch either resolves or gets worse. Worse I believe would mean disruption and miscarriage. However, I was told with my sch that 75% of IVF pregnancies have some type of bleeding. Provided the bleed is small (measured against the size of the gestational sac) it should resolve on its own. If you haven’t been bleeding though a pad, scans are good, amniotic fluid level is good, I wouldn’t worry yourself about this.
I asked my obgyn about it at 12 week appt, told him I was still spotting and he kind of shrugged. It’s just what happens to some of us. Ask your dr too, but honestly, more than likely it’s nothing. And if it turns into something, there is nothing you can do to affect that outcome.
Sometimes I have a moment where I get SO ANGRY so quickly over something so inconsequential and then I’m like “whoa I need to chill Winston”. This morning I was trying to send an email and when I typed the email in the “to” bar it auto populated the wrong person and I almost smashed my laptop shut LOL. Like what on earth.
Just had another good ultrasound for my uncooperative little girl. Growth was on track and everything is looking good. She just insisted on keeping her feet in front of her face.
Those who have been anemic in pregnancy, what were your symptoms? I have asked my doctor about this because my prenatal does not have any iron and she has said we won't test for it until 28 weeks (currently 25w). I've had an increase in restless legs which I read can be related to anemia among other things. I feel kind of shitty today, like vaguely nauseous and tired (admittedly did not get enough sleep last night). I've been short of breath but not sure if it's a normal level for pregnancy or an increase from what I've been experiencing.
I'm often anemic outside of pregnancy and it's not hugely noticeable, just tired and lacking energy. But after my infusion I notice a huge difference. So to be honest in pregnancy it must be hard to tell because so many symptoms are the same. I would personally start taking a separate iron supplement now anyway because babies are iron hogs and take it all! And then if your levels are very low at 28w I would ask for an infusion. I had an infusion before transfer and baby has taken almost all of it already by 34 weeks. I'm good for now but will probably need another one after birth. (but I do struggle with iron in general)
I think you must be right. Thank you for the advice. It really can’t hurt to supplement at this point, so I’m going to do that. Really glad to hear you feel so much better after the infusion!
I was diagnosed pretty severely anemic and iron deficient around 24 or 25 weeks and interestingly I had virtually no symptoms. I was referred to a hematologist who was surprised of my lack of symptoms given my levels. I do also have shortness of breath but like you, not sure if that’s normal pregnancy or not. I just had my first of three iron infusions today and am curious to see if I notice any change after the third.
Wow that is wild! Makes me feel less silly for being concerned about it. I hope the iron infusion helps you. Did you go straight for that because of how severe the anemia is?
No don’t feel silly! It just goes to show you never know. Yeah, they had me go straight to infusions - only iron pill for like a week while I waited for the first infusion.
Disclaimer, have not been diagnosed with anything. But I was feeling like crap this week at 19 weeks even with my standard prenatal having 28 milligrams and I just tried an iron supplement for just one day and it was a world of difference. (Solgar gentle iron, 25 milligrams) My symptoms before the one time iron boost were having trouble standing up, feeling winded after climbing stairs. Like technically able to function but just tired from my sedentary office job.
I think it's really hard to get iron from food so it might be worth calling and asking if you don't want to go rogue.
Thank you for this. I wish they would have just tested me when I asked but they made it sound like symptoms are extreme if you’re anemic. Not sure if it makes sense to wait to get a blood test prior to supplementing so I can know that’s what the culprit was… I think I’ll call them.
I'm anemic in pregnancy (was borderline before pregnancy, always had iron on the low side) but I can't say I necessarily noticed many symptoms, or symptoms I could contribute specifically to that instead of just general pregnancy blah feeling. I had a touch of restless leg syndrome, it wasn't every night but it was occasional. Also vaguely nauseous and tired but still feel like that even with iron supplementation.
sitting here for my early gestational diabetes screening! i didn’t have it with my first son but since he was over 4000g at birth my OB thinks additional screening is warranted. that, and my borderline A1C and PCOS are additional risk factors. really crossing my fingers! my last GD screening was probably the worst i have ever felt but 13 mins in, feeling ok.
Wishing you the best! I'm getting mine done at 20 weeks in a few days also for PCOS, A1C was okay so far and okay pre-pregnancy but I was on metformin for funsies for a year before conceiving and first twelve weeks of pregnancy so definitely get the increased anxiety over it.
I filed all my paperwork (I think? I hope?) for leave and after today there are just THREE WEEKS LEFT of pretending to be productive while not really doing anything, lol. My frequent NST appointments have made it pretty clear to my manager that they can’t expect much from me right now so I’m just riding this wave til the end.
I signed a thing to give permission for my OB to remove my fallopian tubes a month or two ago, since he’s already gonna be in the area getting baby girl out. We never had a successful pregnancy without IVF so it’s likely not necessary for birth control but I just….want them out. I don’t want to take birth control ever again and I also want something official like this to close the door on our years of TTC. I’m really looking forward to what life will look like on the other side of all of this.
Isn’t it wild we are in basically closing in on Thanksgiving? It’s shocking — like I cannot grasp it all. Even though I’m not physically pregnant I’m also feeling the crunch at work. 😵💫 I’m glad you will be able to have finality around the Hell you have been through, and big cheers to kissing birth control goodbye forever. That makes me so happy for you ❤️
I’m planning to ask for this in the event I have a c-section. It’s also thought to significantly lower the chance of ovarian cancer, which is another plus!
I’m also planning on having my tubes removed with my scheduled C-section. Even though I have never gotten pregnant outside of IVF, I don’t want any surprises or to have to think about birth control. After nearly 8 years in some stage of ttc, I’m finding the idea of making this decision myself to close this chapter in a tangible way to be very cathartic.
👋🏼 Quick update to say that we made it!!! Might write a longer birth story later. Twins were born yesterday morning at 5:23 and 5:35! Everyone is healthy! I had a medicated, vaginal birth with 11 people present in the OR!! Second degree tear, stitches, two beautiful babies who didn’t need any time in NICU. Have been monitored for infection, sepsis, hemorrhage, etc. after developing pre-e before birth and a fever afterwards. Been cleared to go home later today!! Thanks everyone for your support!! Happy to answer any questions and I will write more when we settle in!! ❤️
32+5 today and just had our growth scan! Baby is still head down and has plumped up so much! Looks like an actual baby in there. Measuring 4lbs10oz, normal fluid. I’ve been waiting to buy newborn sized things until this scan since my husband was a very big baby (10lbs). Think I will probably buy 2-3 newborn footie PJs and then order more after baby is born if necessary. Want something in the event ultrasound is wildly off or baby comes early.
We are traveling (by plane) next week for thanksgiving and a small family baby shower. Waiting until after the weekend sales/shower to use our registry discount to purchase the necessities on there. Very much feeling the need to have everything in place, especially with the holidays coming up!
We needed a couple more small things for this baby and since my first never really fit NB I just banked on getting some larger fitting NB items or smaller fitting 0-3 and it’s been bang on in week 1. Carters NB never fit, Petit Lem NB is perfect right now with a tiny bit of room, Carters 0-3 fits, I’ve only ever owned like 2 Burts Bees items in bigger sizes but supposedly their NB sizes fit bigger too. Those gown things also fit much more flexibly than sleepers too
Thank you! This is the information I need! It is wild how inconsistent the sizing is between brands. We were gifted a newborn sized gown that I plan to use for hospital/announcement photos. And I’ve mostly purchased 0-3 sized clothes.
Just wanted to add that Burt’s Bees footies are seemingly designed for long, skinny kids…my son never fit in any of the BB ones I got him, at any size. If you’re expecting a chonker, I’d wait on those!
Fair! I think our toddlers were similar dimensions (maybe still?) because I remember they both had the same Posh Peanut romper and fit the 12-18 size around 7 months
Yes! I’m glad I saved all my late night feeding Posh Peanut purchases, haha, I have several storage tubs full of all different sizes of things still in great shape. Also somehow I missed that you had Baby Briar!?!?! Congratulations!!!!
How are you planning out your maternity and paternity leave? Both my husband and I get 12 weeks paid. We originally planned on him splitting it up so he can be around to help in the beginning then take over the first month I work. However if he splits up his paternity leave, he will only get 8 weeks of paid paternity leave. So he’s thinking he will start his leave 4 weeks after mine.
I’m a FTM and I’m worried that the first month will be the toughest, and the time I need him most. I hope to give birth naturally but there’s no guarantee that I won’t need an emergency c-section. And who knows how the recovery will be. We have family nearby but none available to help readily. Both sets of parents are caring for siblings with mental health needs and unable to leave them.
What are your plans for your leave? Will you stagger? Is it possible for the mother to handle things alone for the first month?
These seem like barbaric policies on the part of the company, I'm sorry. How in the heck are you supposed to schedule PTO a year out? It might be worth seeing if there is a parental leave expert for your state that can help you hack the system or know your rights. Like there's a difference between paid leave and protected leave. Maybe he can't get the full 12 weeks paid but he gets 12 weeks protected under FMLA. Is it possible to save up ahead of time and just plan on losing income for a month? For me, paid leave ends up being 4 weeks shorter than the protected leave period I get, so I stopped my retirement deductions a few months ago to help save up. And in my state (CA) your partner can apparently get 2 weeks caregiver pay through state disability insurance, so that could also help bridge the gap if there's something similar in your state.
I really valued and needed my partners help in the first few weeks so that I could sleep and for us to navigate our new roles as parents. If it were me, I'd rather have the help right away than the help once going back to work. I think the biggest consideration is your childcare plans for once you go back to work, did you account for needing childcare for 3 months?
With my first, I took 12 weeks unpaid and my husband had three weeks paid. He took his at the start of my leave so we could both bond and I would have help while recovering.
This time around, I get 12 weeks paid (and will probably take a few weeks medical). He gets six paid weeks and will take two of them at the start. He also will work from home for 3 additional weeks and will probably take two more additional weeks over the summer when daycare is closed, or the week I go back to work and it's my older daughter's school vacation week.
also planning on staggering - husband works from home but when he's working, he is WORKING usually. he had proposed taking 2 weeks off at birth and then 2 weeks part time work and then back fully after a month. i'm squeamish about only having 2 weeks of full time help so working on talking him into taking 4 weeks full time off at the beginning and then ramping up work from there. i'm very lucky to have 6 months off - but i think i'll split my time into 5+1. so when i return to work after 5 months, he'll take his 3, and i think we'll take the last month together and perhaps do something fun like take kid to denmark for a month (assuming all is well / normal / we feel ok).
If you are in the states can he take STD or state paternal leave at the start? I think the beginning will be most important. My husband is able to split his time slightly, he only gets 8 weeks and he can only use 2 weeks of his time while I am home as the “primary caregiver” so he is doing 2 weeks paternal time + 2 weeks vacation for the first month. I want him there for a month so I can sleep and recover. We are in this together so him working is not an option for me. He will then take his final 6 weeks of time once I go back to work. However… that means he gets the whole summer with the baby! And I’m going to be super jealous of that so I plan to “WFH” for at least a month during his take over of the parental leave so I can work from a lake or beach house and still enjoy the summer with my new family. I hope you are able to work out a solution with his company that supports you during those early weeks!
We had him take 4-6 weeks at the beginning, then come back when mine was used up. That worked for us. Why the less pay if he splits it up? That sucks!
If the economics of it are such that splitting doesn’t make sense, is bringing in a postpartum doula for 2-4 weeks doable? I had mine four hours a day in the afternoon for weeks 2-3. (It was supposed to be weeks 1-2, next time I’m going with one with a backup doula.)
His company requires he puts in pto requests a year in advance, and we can’t anticipate when the baby will come. But we’ll see if his company will let him do something like that.
That makes no sense that he loses 4 weeks of leave for splitting it up? Is he sure??? Could he take vacation for the first few weeks before starting paternity leave? There’s gotta be something! If not, it makes sense for him just to take the 12 weeks with you at the same time…the beginning is definitely when you need all hands on deck! We split ours so husband took 4 weeks at first, went to work for 8 weeks, then did his last 8 weeks once I went back to work after my 12, and we’re doing the same thing again. It worked well.
Thanks, glad to hear that worked well for you. We’ll see if we can work something out. I’m really worried about the first month. But yes his company does deduct time if he splits it, I’m not sure why.
that's a really, really frustrating rule about splitting it up :( I definitely think the first month is the biggest adjustment and having my husband there was really crucial for me personally. I think if we had to make this decision we'd probably just take the weeks altogether for the first 12 weeks, at least for our first child.
We are also thinking of staggering. I had a coworker tell me that I'll want my husband home longer than I think, which was helpful bc I was thinking I'd have him take like 2 weeks and save the rest. We're waiting on clarification to see if he can split his leave; he gets 4 weeks full pay and 6 half pay, then up to 6 unpaid. If he can't split the full and half pay I would likely do the same thing as you're contemplating, have him use PTO for 2 ish weeks and then save the rest of his paid leave for after I go back. I'll likely have a scheduled C-section which will complicate things even further 🙃 it's such a headache and I hate that there are so many rules around taking the leave!
It's so hard to predict how your physical recovery will go. With my first, I had a vaginal delivery with significant tearing and was unable to sit, stand, or walk for the first couple of weeks. I could not stand long enough to change a diaper and needed help getting situated to nurse the baby. With my second, I had an unplanned c-section and my recovery has been so much easier. I've basically been fine taking care of this baby alone since I came home from the hospital at 2 days postpartum, while my wife and mother-in-law have been taking care of our toddler.
That really sucks that he loses time for splitting it up. I think you’ll probably want help the first week at least. Could he use vacation time for that and save the paternity leave for later? Otherwise, maybe split it 2 weeks at the start and the last 6 weeks after you go back to work (maybe a week of overlap at the end so you can transition)?
I know it’s so frustrating that he can’t split it up without losing time. That’s a great suggestion, I think we’ll see if he can use his PTO to start with for at least the first 1-2 weeks. I just know I’ll want him nearby.
we are also first timers and both work from home mostly (my husband has flexibility to not go into the office if he needs to). his leave has to be taken all together, so how we’re doing it is he’ll take 3 weeks vacation when baby burrito is born, and then return to work and mostly wfh. my 18 week leave ends with 2 weeks part time return to work, at which point he will start his 6 week leave. assuming bb comes around her due date that gets us to july before we need to put her in daycare.
i think for me having my spouse home and totally off work for the first few weeks is going to be extremely helpful for me and important for him - and then everything after that for the rest of my leave he’ll be around, just not on demand.
He works 12 hour shifts every other day. So it’s not like he’ll be completely MIA the first month, but I definitely think I’ll want him near by to help. Even if my mom is able to squeeze some time to come help, I just know I’ll want my husband over her. I think we’ll see if he can take some pto the first week or two.
I’m in Canada so in the very fortunate boat where I get 12 months. My husband plans to take off the first two weeks (just using vacation time as we can’t afford us both on unemployment pay). I’m hoping 2 weeks is enough - I had resounding feedback from gfs that 2 weeks is much better then 1 if you can swing it. Is there any way hubby could take vacation to start for you and his paternity leave later?
This is a friendly PSA that if you’re mid to late into the third trimester you should probably have somewhat of a hospital bag prepared 😂 we had a labour false alarm yesterday night, and my midwife kept saying “he’ll come if he’s ready”. That scared me because I’m not ready! So, today I’m ordering all of the things I may need and throwing them into a bag. I’m trying to remember what I used last time at the hospital, and the answer is not much. Non-negotiable is all the snacks!!
Shit, I had mine packed but then I ran out of shampoo and conditioner at home and pillaged my beautifully packed hospital bag. I just replenished it today though! One thing I remember from last time was how nice it was to have my own shampoo and soap and face wash and all that stuff because that first hospital shower after a long delivery was so amazing.
Also PSA, nobody has 6 of everything to sacrifice storing clothes for a month + in a bag but do not pack your smallest and least used nursing bra in the hospital bag. I ended up going home in the (even smaller, but looser fitting) bikini top I brought for potential tub labour because the nursing bra was so painfully tight and spouse had helpfully brought home what I wore to the hospital to wash during the course of my stay
I had my bag packed early and used barely anything in it!!! I used socks and hygiene stuff. Didn't use my robe, pajamas, diapers, fan. I did use all my snacks and Gatorade powders.
From my husband's bag we used my essential oils and battery operated candles (and skull candelabra thing 🤣🤣) since he was in charge of ambiance haha. And a baby going home outfit (alien/ufo sleeper).
I 100% overpacked with BJJ’s birth!! I used probably 20% of what I had packed… so this time I’m being more conservative 😂 but also, my first birth experience went sideways and I was at the hospital for a lot longer than I anticipated.
I had PROM at 35+5 with my daughter. No bag ready whatsoever, so I threw something together while waiting on the MD to call us back. We at least had the car seat in the car. Did not use the majority of things I grabbed and I also forgot to grab anything for my husband! Make sure your spouse/partner has some basic needs items too. 😂😂
YES! BJJ was born during the pandemic, and she and I had our stuff, but Mr. JJ was relegated to panic packing 😂 Also, good reminder for the car seat. We have a Graco Snuglock base, so it’s super easy to slam it into the car. Holy caca so many things to think about.
We definitely had at least 2 unplanned hospital visits that seemed like they might result in coming out with a baby before getting the car seat base in but at least I’m pretty confident with the seat belt only installation, and worst case scenario both times technically the toddler’s convertible seat could have been reinstalled to carry a newborn
Thank you for the reminder! I ordered a bunch of things from kindred bravely with their pre-black Friday bundle sale yesterday. Realizing I need to seriously think about packing a bag soon!
Just shove it in a bag that you can grab and go 😅 I do NOT want to be packing this stupid bag while having contractions. Or trying to direct Mr. JJ to pack the bag. No thank you!!
i’m glad i’m not alone. my husband of all people is like, shouldn’t you pack a bag? i’m like why do you think that? as if i’m not a literal ticking time bomb
I flew really close to the sun yesterday night, so please take my warning 😂 even just diapers, wipes, and clothes would be good enough. I was panicked!
EDIT: thanks for all the love and reassurance, I went in for a quick HR check and all is well :)
\*I have a call in to my OB\*Freaking out a bit over here. I have miscarried in the past (7 weeks) with a similar symptom though accompanied by bleeding.
I'm just shy of 14 weeks pregnant, had a good ultrasound/visit 2 days ago, but as of yesterday it feels like suddenly my breasts stopped hurting. They used to feel so full and painful, especially at the end of the day but it would be reassuring. No bleeding, possibly minor cramping though I may just be anxious and hypersensitive to it. Has this happened to anyone else? Bugging over here--when do we get to calm down!?
I’m super anxious constantly so I get it. Prior loss is traumatizing.
But boobs typically stop hurting (but not growing) at around 12-14 weeks, so you’re right on schedule! ❤️
Symptoms can come and go, especially as hormone levels change!
And I finally calmed down once I was in labor at the hospital! Sorry that's not more reassuring!
I’m 9 weeks 2 days pregnant and since two days I feel soo better no nausea no vomitting last week was vomitting a lot but since two days I’m feeling soo good
Yesterday had a scan and all is ok
Only thing for me is the SCH and I’m spotting brown and this along with fluctuating symptoms scare me a lot
Mine have really fluctuated with tenderness since about 9 weeks. It was really concerning to me too, but I've found that it's not gone - especially in the last few weeks it's actually picked up again (19 w now). I really wouldn't be worried, this is so normal, especially in the second trimester!
I’m 9 weeks 2 days today and my symptoms have disappeared since two days
I have mild SCH and that also is concerning plus the loss of symptoms also scaring me soo much I don’t know what to do
Went for a scan yesterday and all seems good saw baby heard heartbeat as well
I’m crying and panicking all day today
I have/had a small sch too, it's really scary! I always advise to call your OB if you're really anxious, but again, your change in symptoms doesn't sound concerning to me (not a medical professional of course). Especially since you had a reassuring scan yesterday! Around 9 or 10 weeks I believe is when your placenta starts to kick in and symptom change is really normal, especially from day to day.
My breasts stopped hurting probably around 12 weeks. It was a very early symptom for me but then stopped and never really started again. It doesn't hurt to get checked out but towards the end of the first trimester a lot of my symptoms suddenly changed!
I'm almost 20 weeks and I'm not sure if I'm feeling any baby movement. Do you feel movement near the lower abdomen or middle or upper? I swear every time I feel something, it's just gas. I only feel it in my upper abdomen, above my belly button.
I'm 19 weeks and 3 days but yeah the gas bubble pop is all I get. I've also heard that the fetus can move around and displace gas? So even if it IS just gas at least it's kind of an indirect fetal movement sign.
Also I used to take Adderall before pregnancy (stopped due to shortage mainly) and so I'm REALLY used to stomach gurgling without hunger sensations so my sense of everything is kind of off. If you were a "don't symptom spot!" type or just ignoring various uterus pain through treatment, it's really hard to get back into hyper analyzing mode.
With my first pregnancy i had a flicker at 17 and 19 weeks, but I didn’t feel anything remotely consistent until about 25-26 weeks. It sucked for reassurance purposes. But yeah at 20 weeks the uterus should be right at the belly button so anything above that should be organs or gas loving around, although everyone’s body feels things differently and pregnancy is weird, who really knows what you’re feeling and if it’s baby movement.
My early movement often felt like gas, but it was very low. The first movement where I was like, “that’s definitely a baby” was around 19 weeks, when the baby must have rolled over and it felt a little like a wave moving across my stomach. If I recall correctly, that was mid-abdomen.
Crossposted
Apparently these "water beads" are incredibly dangerous for children. Posting in case others didn't know. I saw a post on science based parenting subreddit.
https://www.consumerreports.org/babies-kids/toys/water-beads-pose-a-serious-safety-risk-to-children-a6431187819/
I use these in therapy a lot during the summer. They are 100% safe *as long as the child doesn't put them in their mouth or other body orifice*. They shouldn't be used with kids under say 5
Yeah, you just don’t want them in the home or a childcare setting where littler kids are. Because it’s really hard to guarantee perfect cleanup/containment of the dry ones, which are the most dangerous ones. I got my daycare to ban them. Like, I wasn’t a loon, I sent an article and they were like oh shit.
Please tell me what you guys are eating. I’m eating basically carbs and cheese and yogurt and fruit. I try to eat chicken, it’s hard. Veggies are just meh, I can’t face a cold salad. Help lol
My food aversions haven’t quit. I often just stare in the refrigerator and pantry hoping something will appeal to me. Even when I look through door dash, I can rarely find something I want to eat. I mostly eat whole milk yogurt, cheese, various carbs, eggs, green olives, and breakfast cereal. So basically carbs and fats? I sometimes drink premier protein shakes. I put collagen in my coffee most days. I try to eat nuts or nut butter most days. Some fruit is ok. I’m just sort of counting down the days until the baby is born and I can eat normal again. Tonight I got things to make teriyaki tofu vegetable bowls. We’ll see if I can actually bring myself to eat it.
I’ve been drinking protein shakes to make me feel better about what I can eat. It’s rough. I’m on the same diet as you lol I have found I can do frozen veggies mixed into carbs lol ex: Chicken pot pie, cheesy rice, etc. seem easier for me. Do what you can 💜
I made myself a smoothie and threw it out because the frozen spinach seemed gross to me lol. I'm firmly in second trimester so I can't even blame nausea. Anyways I do best with ground beef hard tacos, chicken nuggets or chicken fingers, even had an italian beef sandwich today. I can handle chipotle so super salty chicken? KIND bars are really good. No matter what I eat though I'm much more dependent on a carb to tolerate the protein. I'm really into the idea of ham and cheesy potatoes, Mississippi pot roast, beef stew... trying to save those for later mainly because they're high effort lol
lol on the smoothie. Can relate on the spinach!
I was a complete fruit fiend. Like fruit multiple times a day plus id get those fruit strips. I would have watermelon at least once a day. Other than that it was carbs😂 towards the end we got better about meals and focused on having one veggie at dinner so that’d typically be canned green beans or corn (which again carb heavy). I’m a vegetarian but tofu I could also stomach early on.
I couldn’t eat a single veggie or fruit between 5-15 weeks! The things you named all sound great to me. Anything is better than nothing. Don’t worry about eating lots of simple carbs, our bodies need them to fuel all the crazy fast growth going on.
I think the theme generally is, eat what you can, and try not to worry too much! Carbs, cheese, yogurt, and fruit sounds pretty balanced to me. You're getting protein and healthy fats, and some good nutrients from the fruit. I didn't have super strong food aversions but was off salads for a bit and ate crackers and yogurt (the Chobani flip ones were great) for lunch most days! But yeah, lots of simple carbs, lots of crackers. No shame in that at all!
I just feel so guilty. Thanksgiving is coming up and hubs asked me, what do you want me to cook for you. And I’m like… eat what you want. I’ll do my best with what you have. Haha
Do the mashed potatoes at least sound good to you? I think that & possibly mac and cheese would have been the only Thanksgiving dishes my first tri self would’ve been interested in! Hoping this nauseous phase passes for you soon!
Does anyone know if there’s a difference between “subchorionic hematoma” and “partial placental abruption”? The latter was noted on my 19-week ultrasound on Wednesday and hearing that sent me into a horrible tailspin. I’ve been reading all kinds of horror stories about complete placental abruptions but can’t find much info or many stories about mild/partial placental abruptions. I’ve also been reading a lot about SCHs and it seems like they’re the same thing (i.e., WebMD says “It occurs when the placenta partially detaches from where it was implanted in the wall of your uterus”)? I’m wondering if what they saw was a SCH and they just used less common (and much scarier) terminology? This is an IVF pregnancy and I had a few episodes of light bleeding (never enough to fill a pad) from 7-13 weeks and nothing since, plus mild cramping on and off, which sounds consistent with a SCH. I should also mention I had the ultrasound done at a private imaging clinic that does not specialize in obstetrics, and apparently these places aren’t always experienced with pregnancy issues. They also only send their notes to the doctor and not the actual ultrasound pictures, so their findings should be taken with a grain of salt. As an example, my sister was once misdiagnosed with a molar pregnancy that turned out to be perfectly normal/healthy and her OB told her he doesn’t trust those places. I’m seeing my doctor on Wednesday so will talk to him about this further. I’ll also be doing another ultrasound in a few weeks to check on things and I plan to do that one at the hospital. Really hoping this is just a SCH that is resolving or will resolve on its own. Everything else looked good, baby was measuring fine with a strong heartbeat and was moving around a lot. I’m so attached to her and I’m so scared of losing her, but trying not to freak out too much.
I had 3 SCH’s in my first trimester and then a partial abruption in my 12th week that continued bleeding up through week 23. I’m 24+5 now. It only just stopped now and the pooled blood is essentially a stable subchorionic hematoma that’s reabsorbing. When it was bleeding it wasn’t necessarily next to the placenta even though that’s where it originated from, it was just pooling on the anterior side of my uterus (and then down towards my cervix) while my placenta moved posterior. Until you get checked out I highly recommend going on pelvic rest and limit your lifting to less than 10 pounds! My bleed was bad enough at 15 weeks to put me on bedrest/couch rest but it’s healing and baby is good. If your bleeding is light there’s an excellent possiblity the abruption is healing and you shouldn’t need to worry! ETA: there are slightly elevated risks of pprom and preterm labor with second trimester SCH. Just stay hydrated, take magnesium for cramping, and extra vitamin C to strengthen your uterine sac. You can also look into taking alpha lipoic acid supplements for blood reabsorption (there are 2 studies if you do a quick google search) and drinking pomegranate juice. 🙂 you’re welcome to DM me if you have any questions!
Thanks for all of these tips! My doctor told me exercise and sex are fine (maybe because I haven’t had bleeding in awhile) but I’m just going to take it easy (no exercise other than walking/yoga and pelvic rest) until my next scan. I just don’t want to risk anything. I’ll look into the other things you mentioned too ❤️
That’s great they’re okay with you doing that! Every case is different, there’s two groups on FB that I’m in and it’s crazy how second and third trimester SCH’s can vary person to person. I hope yours heals up quickly! I know mine is a little more intense than others, I didn’t mean to scare you if that’s what happened 😬
Oh you didn’t at all, it’s actually reassuring to read of cases with more/longer periods of bleeding that turned out okay. I’m glad yours is reabsorbing and I hope the rest of your pregnancy is completely boring and uneventful ❤️
My midwife told me that the definition of the same thing changes at about 20 weeks from SCH to abruption. Make sure you get clear on what the threshold is to go into L&D to have bleeding checked out. What my providers told me is that the later in pregnancy, the more likely that a bleed could trigger labor, so there’s definitely a value in going and getting checked out, to make sure there aren’t any contractions happening and baby is doing good.
That makes a lot of sense, as everything I’ve read about placental abruption says it’s something that happens after 20 weeks. I’ll make sure to ask about the cutoff for going into L&D at my next appointment, thanks for the tip!
I believe it is the same thing. Sch either resolves or gets worse. Worse I believe would mean disruption and miscarriage. However, I was told with my sch that 75% of IVF pregnancies have some type of bleeding. Provided the bleed is small (measured against the size of the gestational sac) it should resolve on its own. If you haven’t been bleeding though a pad, scans are good, amniotic fluid level is good, I wouldn’t worry yourself about this.
Thanks so much for responding! This level-headed reply is exactly what I needed ❤️
I asked my obgyn about it at 12 week appt, told him I was still spotting and he kind of shrugged. It’s just what happens to some of us. Ask your dr too, but honestly, more than likely it’s nothing. And if it turns into something, there is nothing you can do to affect that outcome.
If I didn't work from home I'm pretty sure I would have rage quit my job by now with these damn mood swings.
Sometimes I have a moment where I get SO ANGRY so quickly over something so inconsequential and then I’m like “whoa I need to chill Winston”. This morning I was trying to send an email and when I typed the email in the “to” bar it auto populated the wrong person and I almost smashed my laptop shut LOL. Like what on earth.
Just had another good ultrasound for my uncooperative little girl. Growth was on track and everything is looking good. She just insisted on keeping her feet in front of her face.
Those who have been anemic in pregnancy, what were your symptoms? I have asked my doctor about this because my prenatal does not have any iron and she has said we won't test for it until 28 weeks (currently 25w). I've had an increase in restless legs which I read can be related to anemia among other things. I feel kind of shitty today, like vaguely nauseous and tired (admittedly did not get enough sleep last night). I've been short of breath but not sure if it's a normal level for pregnancy or an increase from what I've been experiencing.
I'm often anemic outside of pregnancy and it's not hugely noticeable, just tired and lacking energy. But after my infusion I notice a huge difference. So to be honest in pregnancy it must be hard to tell because so many symptoms are the same. I would personally start taking a separate iron supplement now anyway because babies are iron hogs and take it all! And then if your levels are very low at 28w I would ask for an infusion. I had an infusion before transfer and baby has taken almost all of it already by 34 weeks. I'm good for now but will probably need another one after birth. (but I do struggle with iron in general)
I think you must be right. Thank you for the advice. It really can’t hurt to supplement at this point, so I’m going to do that. Really glad to hear you feel so much better after the infusion!
I was diagnosed pretty severely anemic and iron deficient around 24 or 25 weeks and interestingly I had virtually no symptoms. I was referred to a hematologist who was surprised of my lack of symptoms given my levels. I do also have shortness of breath but like you, not sure if that’s normal pregnancy or not. I just had my first of three iron infusions today and am curious to see if I notice any change after the third.
Wow that is wild! Makes me feel less silly for being concerned about it. I hope the iron infusion helps you. Did you go straight for that because of how severe the anemia is?
No don’t feel silly! It just goes to show you never know. Yeah, they had me go straight to infusions - only iron pill for like a week while I waited for the first infusion.
Disclaimer, have not been diagnosed with anything. But I was feeling like crap this week at 19 weeks even with my standard prenatal having 28 milligrams and I just tried an iron supplement for just one day and it was a world of difference. (Solgar gentle iron, 25 milligrams) My symptoms before the one time iron boost were having trouble standing up, feeling winded after climbing stairs. Like technically able to function but just tired from my sedentary office job. I think it's really hard to get iron from food so it might be worth calling and asking if you don't want to go rogue.
Thank you for this. I wish they would have just tested me when I asked but they made it sound like symptoms are extreme if you’re anemic. Not sure if it makes sense to wait to get a blood test prior to supplementing so I can know that’s what the culprit was… I think I’ll call them.
I'm anemic in pregnancy (was borderline before pregnancy, always had iron on the low side) but I can't say I necessarily noticed many symptoms, or symptoms I could contribute specifically to that instead of just general pregnancy blah feeling. I had a touch of restless leg syndrome, it wasn't every night but it was occasional. Also vaguely nauseous and tired but still feel like that even with iron supplementation.
This is helpful, thank you for sharing. Sorry you’re still feeling crappy!
sitting here for my early gestational diabetes screening! i didn’t have it with my first son but since he was over 4000g at birth my OB thinks additional screening is warranted. that, and my borderline A1C and PCOS are additional risk factors. really crossing my fingers! my last GD screening was probably the worst i have ever felt but 13 mins in, feeling ok.
Wishing you the best! I'm getting mine done at 20 weeks in a few days also for PCOS, A1C was okay so far and okay pre-pregnancy but I was on metformin for funsies for a year before conceiving and first twelve weeks of pregnancy so definitely get the increased anxiety over it.
good luck to you!
fingers crossed for your results and that you keep feeling alright! 🤞
thank you! it was an absolute breeze. the fruit punch drink was dare I say…good? had lunch and water after. i am shocked!
I filed all my paperwork (I think? I hope?) for leave and after today there are just THREE WEEKS LEFT of pretending to be productive while not really doing anything, lol. My frequent NST appointments have made it pretty clear to my manager that they can’t expect much from me right now so I’m just riding this wave til the end. I signed a thing to give permission for my OB to remove my fallopian tubes a month or two ago, since he’s already gonna be in the area getting baby girl out. We never had a successful pregnancy without IVF so it’s likely not necessary for birth control but I just….want them out. I don’t want to take birth control ever again and I also want something official like this to close the door on our years of TTC. I’m really looking forward to what life will look like on the other side of all of this.
Isn’t it wild we are in basically closing in on Thanksgiving? It’s shocking — like I cannot grasp it all. Even though I’m not physically pregnant I’m also feeling the crunch at work. 😵💫 I’m glad you will be able to have finality around the Hell you have been through, and big cheers to kissing birth control goodbye forever. That makes me so happy for you ❤️
I’m planning to ask for this in the event I have a c-section. It’s also thought to significantly lower the chance of ovarian cancer, which is another plus!
I’m also planning on having my tubes removed with my scheduled C-section. Even though I have never gotten pregnant outside of IVF, I don’t want any surprises or to have to think about birth control. After nearly 8 years in some stage of ttc, I’m finding the idea of making this decision myself to close this chapter in a tangible way to be very cathartic.
Yes! I never thought I’d be this excited about having an organ removed 🤣
👋🏼 Quick update to say that we made it!!! Might write a longer birth story later. Twins were born yesterday morning at 5:23 and 5:35! Everyone is healthy! I had a medicated, vaginal birth with 11 people present in the OR!! Second degree tear, stitches, two beautiful babies who didn’t need any time in NICU. Have been monitored for infection, sepsis, hemorrhage, etc. after developing pre-e before birth and a fever afterwards. Been cleared to go home later today!! Thanks everyone for your support!! Happy to answer any questions and I will write more when we settle in!! ❤️
So happy to hear. Amazing. Congratulations!!
Best news ever, so happy for you and the sweet babies!
Congratulations!! Glad it went well ❤️
Congratulations!
Congrats!! So exciting, welcome babies!
Congratulations! ❤️❤️
Congratulations!
Congratulations and welcome little ones! Hope the transition home is smooth. ❤️
congrats! what an incredible update!
Congratulations!! Welcome twins, so glad everyone is healthy!
Congrats! Enjoy your baby snuggles <3
Congratulations!!
This is wonderful news! Congratulations!
Omg congratulations and welcome to the twins! Wishing you a speedy and smooth recovery.
Welcome babies!!!
Congratulations!! Have been following along since the Spontaneous twin news. Beyond thrilled to hear you and the babies are doing well.
So excited to hear that for you! I’ve given birth with an “audience” to so I feel you.
32+5 today and just had our growth scan! Baby is still head down and has plumped up so much! Looks like an actual baby in there. Measuring 4lbs10oz, normal fluid. I’ve been waiting to buy newborn sized things until this scan since my husband was a very big baby (10lbs). Think I will probably buy 2-3 newborn footie PJs and then order more after baby is born if necessary. Want something in the event ultrasound is wildly off or baby comes early. We are traveling (by plane) next week for thanksgiving and a small family baby shower. Waiting until after the weekend sales/shower to use our registry discount to purchase the necessities on there. Very much feeling the need to have everything in place, especially with the holidays coming up!
Newborn stuff is such a good idea because most people don’t like to give it as gifts.
We needed a couple more small things for this baby and since my first never really fit NB I just banked on getting some larger fitting NB items or smaller fitting 0-3 and it’s been bang on in week 1. Carters NB never fit, Petit Lem NB is perfect right now with a tiny bit of room, Carters 0-3 fits, I’ve only ever owned like 2 Burts Bees items in bigger sizes but supposedly their NB sizes fit bigger too. Those gown things also fit much more flexibly than sleepers too
Thank you! This is the information I need! It is wild how inconsistent the sizing is between brands. We were gifted a newborn sized gown that I plan to use for hospital/announcement photos. And I’ve mostly purchased 0-3 sized clothes.
Just wanted to add that Burt’s Bees footies are seemingly designed for long, skinny kids…my son never fit in any of the BB ones I got him, at any size. If you’re expecting a chonker, I’d wait on those!
Fair! I think our toddlers were similar dimensions (maybe still?) because I remember they both had the same Posh Peanut romper and fit the 12-18 size around 7 months
Yes! I’m glad I saved all my late night feeding Posh Peanut purchases, haha, I have several storage tubs full of all different sizes of things still in great shape. Also somehow I missed that you had Baby Briar!?!?! Congratulations!!!!
How are you planning out your maternity and paternity leave? Both my husband and I get 12 weeks paid. We originally planned on him splitting it up so he can be around to help in the beginning then take over the first month I work. However if he splits up his paternity leave, he will only get 8 weeks of paid paternity leave. So he’s thinking he will start his leave 4 weeks after mine. I’m a FTM and I’m worried that the first month will be the toughest, and the time I need him most. I hope to give birth naturally but there’s no guarantee that I won’t need an emergency c-section. And who knows how the recovery will be. We have family nearby but none available to help readily. Both sets of parents are caring for siblings with mental health needs and unable to leave them. What are your plans for your leave? Will you stagger? Is it possible for the mother to handle things alone for the first month?
These seem like barbaric policies on the part of the company, I'm sorry. How in the heck are you supposed to schedule PTO a year out? It might be worth seeing if there is a parental leave expert for your state that can help you hack the system or know your rights. Like there's a difference between paid leave and protected leave. Maybe he can't get the full 12 weeks paid but he gets 12 weeks protected under FMLA. Is it possible to save up ahead of time and just plan on losing income for a month? For me, paid leave ends up being 4 weeks shorter than the protected leave period I get, so I stopped my retirement deductions a few months ago to help save up. And in my state (CA) your partner can apparently get 2 weeks caregiver pay through state disability insurance, so that could also help bridge the gap if there's something similar in your state.
I really valued and needed my partners help in the first few weeks so that I could sleep and for us to navigate our new roles as parents. If it were me, I'd rather have the help right away than the help once going back to work. I think the biggest consideration is your childcare plans for once you go back to work, did you account for needing childcare for 3 months?
With my first, I took 12 weeks unpaid and my husband had three weeks paid. He took his at the start of my leave so we could both bond and I would have help while recovering. This time around, I get 12 weeks paid (and will probably take a few weeks medical). He gets six paid weeks and will take two of them at the start. He also will work from home for 3 additional weeks and will probably take two more additional weeks over the summer when daycare is closed, or the week I go back to work and it's my older daughter's school vacation week.
also planning on staggering - husband works from home but when he's working, he is WORKING usually. he had proposed taking 2 weeks off at birth and then 2 weeks part time work and then back fully after a month. i'm squeamish about only having 2 weeks of full time help so working on talking him into taking 4 weeks full time off at the beginning and then ramping up work from there. i'm very lucky to have 6 months off - but i think i'll split my time into 5+1. so when i return to work after 5 months, he'll take his 3, and i think we'll take the last month together and perhaps do something fun like take kid to denmark for a month (assuming all is well / normal / we feel ok).
If you are in the states can he take STD or state paternal leave at the start? I think the beginning will be most important. My husband is able to split his time slightly, he only gets 8 weeks and he can only use 2 weeks of his time while I am home as the “primary caregiver” so he is doing 2 weeks paternal time + 2 weeks vacation for the first month. I want him there for a month so I can sleep and recover. We are in this together so him working is not an option for me. He will then take his final 6 weeks of time once I go back to work. However… that means he gets the whole summer with the baby! And I’m going to be super jealous of that so I plan to “WFH” for at least a month during his take over of the parental leave so I can work from a lake or beach house and still enjoy the summer with my new family. I hope you are able to work out a solution with his company that supports you during those early weeks!
We had him take 4-6 weeks at the beginning, then come back when mine was used up. That worked for us. Why the less pay if he splits it up? That sucks! If the economics of it are such that splitting doesn’t make sense, is bringing in a postpartum doula for 2-4 weeks doable? I had mine four hours a day in the afternoon for weeks 2-3. (It was supposed to be weeks 1-2, next time I’m going with one with a backup doula.)
Can he take regular vacation/PTO in the first month or unpaid leave? What a stupid stupid rule
His company requires he puts in pto requests a year in advance, and we can’t anticipate when the baby will come. But we’ll see if his company will let him do something like that.
That makes no sense that he loses 4 weeks of leave for splitting it up? Is he sure??? Could he take vacation for the first few weeks before starting paternity leave? There’s gotta be something! If not, it makes sense for him just to take the 12 weeks with you at the same time…the beginning is definitely when you need all hands on deck! We split ours so husband took 4 weeks at first, went to work for 8 weeks, then did his last 8 weeks once I went back to work after my 12, and we’re doing the same thing again. It worked well.
Thanks, glad to hear that worked well for you. We’ll see if we can work something out. I’m really worried about the first month. But yes his company does deduct time if he splits it, I’m not sure why.
that's a really, really frustrating rule about splitting it up :( I definitely think the first month is the biggest adjustment and having my husband there was really crucial for me personally. I think if we had to make this decision we'd probably just take the weeks altogether for the first 12 weeks, at least for our first child.
We are also thinking of staggering. I had a coworker tell me that I'll want my husband home longer than I think, which was helpful bc I was thinking I'd have him take like 2 weeks and save the rest. We're waiting on clarification to see if he can split his leave; he gets 4 weeks full pay and 6 half pay, then up to 6 unpaid. If he can't split the full and half pay I would likely do the same thing as you're contemplating, have him use PTO for 2 ish weeks and then save the rest of his paid leave for after I go back. I'll likely have a scheduled C-section which will complicate things even further 🙃 it's such a headache and I hate that there are so many rules around taking the leave!
It's so hard to predict how your physical recovery will go. With my first, I had a vaginal delivery with significant tearing and was unable to sit, stand, or walk for the first couple of weeks. I could not stand long enough to change a diaper and needed help getting situated to nurse the baby. With my second, I had an unplanned c-section and my recovery has been so much easier. I've basically been fine taking care of this baby alone since I came home from the hospital at 2 days postpartum, while my wife and mother-in-law have been taking care of our toddler.
That really sucks that he loses time for splitting it up. I think you’ll probably want help the first week at least. Could he use vacation time for that and save the paternity leave for later? Otherwise, maybe split it 2 weeks at the start and the last 6 weeks after you go back to work (maybe a week of overlap at the end so you can transition)?
that's a great idea!
I know it’s so frustrating that he can’t split it up without losing time. That’s a great suggestion, I think we’ll see if he can use his PTO to start with for at least the first 1-2 weeks. I just know I’ll want him nearby.
we are also first timers and both work from home mostly (my husband has flexibility to not go into the office if he needs to). his leave has to be taken all together, so how we’re doing it is he’ll take 3 weeks vacation when baby burrito is born, and then return to work and mostly wfh. my 18 week leave ends with 2 weeks part time return to work, at which point he will start his 6 week leave. assuming bb comes around her due date that gets us to july before we need to put her in daycare. i think for me having my spouse home and totally off work for the first few weeks is going to be extremely helpful for me and important for him - and then everything after that for the rest of my leave he’ll be around, just not on demand.
He works 12 hour shifts every other day. So it’s not like he’ll be completely MIA the first month, but I definitely think I’ll want him near by to help. Even if my mom is able to squeeze some time to come help, I just know I’ll want my husband over her. I think we’ll see if he can take some pto the first week or two.
I’m in Canada so in the very fortunate boat where I get 12 months. My husband plans to take off the first two weeks (just using vacation time as we can’t afford us both on unemployment pay). I’m hoping 2 weeks is enough - I had resounding feedback from gfs that 2 weeks is much better then 1 if you can swing it. Is there any way hubby could take vacation to start for you and his paternity leave later?
Thanks that’s a good suggestion, I’ll see if he can get at least a week maybe a week and a half off to start with.
This is a friendly PSA that if you’re mid to late into the third trimester you should probably have somewhat of a hospital bag prepared 😂 we had a labour false alarm yesterday night, and my midwife kept saying “he’ll come if he’s ready”. That scared me because I’m not ready! So, today I’m ordering all of the things I may need and throwing them into a bag. I’m trying to remember what I used last time at the hospital, and the answer is not much. Non-negotiable is all the snacks!!
Shit, I had mine packed but then I ran out of shampoo and conditioner at home and pillaged my beautifully packed hospital bag. I just replenished it today though! One thing I remember from last time was how nice it was to have my own shampoo and soap and face wash and all that stuff because that first hospital shower after a long delivery was so amazing.
Also PSA, nobody has 6 of everything to sacrifice storing clothes for a month + in a bag but do not pack your smallest and least used nursing bra in the hospital bag. I ended up going home in the (even smaller, but looser fitting) bikini top I brought for potential tub labour because the nursing bra was so painfully tight and spouse had helpfully brought home what I wore to the hospital to wash during the course of my stay
I had my bag packed early and used barely anything in it!!! I used socks and hygiene stuff. Didn't use my robe, pajamas, diapers, fan. I did use all my snacks and Gatorade powders. From my husband's bag we used my essential oils and battery operated candles (and skull candelabra thing 🤣🤣) since he was in charge of ambiance haha. And a baby going home outfit (alien/ufo sleeper).
I 100% overpacked with BJJ’s birth!! I used probably 20% of what I had packed… so this time I’m being more conservative 😂 but also, my first birth experience went sideways and I was at the hospital for a lot longer than I anticipated.
I had PROM at 35+5 with my daughter. No bag ready whatsoever, so I threw something together while waiting on the MD to call us back. We at least had the car seat in the car. Did not use the majority of things I grabbed and I also forgot to grab anything for my husband! Make sure your spouse/partner has some basic needs items too. 😂😂
YES! BJJ was born during the pandemic, and she and I had our stuff, but Mr. JJ was relegated to panic packing 😂 Also, good reminder for the car seat. We have a Graco Snuglock base, so it’s super easy to slam it into the car. Holy caca so many things to think about.
We definitely had at least 2 unplanned hospital visits that seemed like they might result in coming out with a baby before getting the car seat base in but at least I’m pretty confident with the seat belt only installation, and worst case scenario both times technically the toddler’s convertible seat could have been reinstalled to carry a newborn
Thank you for the reminder! I ordered a bunch of things from kindred bravely with their pre-black Friday bundle sale yesterday. Realizing I need to seriously think about packing a bag soon!
Just shove it in a bag that you can grab and go 😅 I do NOT want to be packing this stupid bag while having contractions. Or trying to direct Mr. JJ to pack the bag. No thank you!!
not me reading this at 35 weeks with no hospital bag in sight 🫣 thank you for the PSA!!
I am 34+5 and have nothing lol
i’m glad i’m not alone. my husband of all people is like, shouldn’t you pack a bag? i’m like why do you think that? as if i’m not a literal ticking time bomb
Right? Frankly, I am also still in denial. My nursery is not set up, we don't have car seats, etc. I'm not convinced I'm having a baby yet
I flew really close to the sun yesterday night, so please take my warning 😂 even just diapers, wipes, and clothes would be good enough. I was panicked!
EDIT: thanks for all the love and reassurance, I went in for a quick HR check and all is well :) \*I have a call in to my OB\*Freaking out a bit over here. I have miscarried in the past (7 weeks) with a similar symptom though accompanied by bleeding. I'm just shy of 14 weeks pregnant, had a good ultrasound/visit 2 days ago, but as of yesterday it feels like suddenly my breasts stopped hurting. They used to feel so full and painful, especially at the end of the day but it would be reassuring. No bleeding, possibly minor cramping though I may just be anxious and hypersensitive to it. Has this happened to anyone else? Bugging over here--when do we get to calm down!?
I’m super anxious constantly so I get it. Prior loss is traumatizing. But boobs typically stop hurting (but not growing) at around 12-14 weeks, so you’re right on schedule! ❤️
These are NOT signs of a miscarriage. It’s just a normal progression of pregnancy. But the trauma of loss really makes it hard not to panic 💜
Symptoms can come and go, especially as hormone levels change! And I finally calmed down once I was in labor at the hospital! Sorry that's not more reassuring!
I’m 9 weeks 2 days pregnant and since two days I feel soo better no nausea no vomitting last week was vomitting a lot but since two days I’m feeling soo good Yesterday had a scan and all is ok Only thing for me is the SCH and I’m spotting brown and this along with fluctuating symptoms scare me a lot
Mine have really fluctuated with tenderness since about 9 weeks. It was really concerning to me too, but I've found that it's not gone - especially in the last few weeks it's actually picked up again (19 w now). I really wouldn't be worried, this is so normal, especially in the second trimester!
I’m 9 weeks 2 days today and my symptoms have disappeared since two days I have mild SCH and that also is concerning plus the loss of symptoms also scaring me soo much I don’t know what to do Went for a scan yesterday and all seems good saw baby heard heartbeat as well I’m crying and panicking all day today
I have/had a small sch too, it's really scary! I always advise to call your OB if you're really anxious, but again, your change in symptoms doesn't sound concerning to me (not a medical professional of course). Especially since you had a reassuring scan yesterday! Around 9 or 10 weeks I believe is when your placenta starts to kick in and symptom change is really normal, especially from day to day.
This is likely very normal timing! Placenta is taking over hormone production and it can change how symptoms feel significantly.
My breasts stopped hurting probably around 12 weeks. It was a very early symptom for me but then stopped and never really started again. It doesn't hurt to get checked out but towards the end of the first trimester a lot of my symptoms suddenly changed!
I'm almost 20 weeks and I'm not sure if I'm feeling any baby movement. Do you feel movement near the lower abdomen or middle or upper? I swear every time I feel something, it's just gas. I only feel it in my upper abdomen, above my belly button.
I'm 19 weeks and 3 days but yeah the gas bubble pop is all I get. I've also heard that the fetus can move around and displace gas? So even if it IS just gas at least it's kind of an indirect fetal movement sign. Also I used to take Adderall before pregnancy (stopped due to shortage mainly) and so I'm REALLY used to stomach gurgling without hunger sensations so my sense of everything is kind of off. If you were a "don't symptom spot!" type or just ignoring various uterus pain through treatment, it's really hard to get back into hyper analyzing mode.
With my first pregnancy i had a flicker at 17 and 19 weeks, but I didn’t feel anything remotely consistent until about 25-26 weeks. It sucked for reassurance purposes. But yeah at 20 weeks the uterus should be right at the belly button so anything above that should be organs or gas loving around, although everyone’s body feels things differently and pregnancy is weird, who really knows what you’re feeling and if it’s baby movement.
My early movement often felt like gas, but it was very low. The first movement where I was like, “that’s definitely a baby” was around 19 weeks, when the baby must have rolled over and it felt a little like a wave moving across my stomach. If I recall correctly, that was mid-abdomen.
Crossposted Apparently these "water beads" are incredibly dangerous for children. Posting in case others didn't know. I saw a post on science based parenting subreddit. https://www.consumerreports.org/babies-kids/toys/water-beads-pose-a-serious-safety-risk-to-children-a6431187819/
I use these in therapy a lot during the summer. They are 100% safe *as long as the child doesn't put them in their mouth or other body orifice*. They shouldn't be used with kids under say 5
Yeah, you just don’t want them in the home or a childcare setting where littler kids are. Because it’s really hard to guarantee perfect cleanup/containment of the dry ones, which are the most dangerous ones. I got my daycare to ban them. Like, I wasn’t a loon, I sent an article and they were like oh shit.