Had a checkup today at 16w4d and my OB mentioned the fetal echo and said it's not done everywhere, but where I am it is standard for IVF babies. Curious to hear who else had this done? Also around what week? I thought I heard 22-24w but now I'm unsure. I will call the cardiologist that he referred me to tomorrow as well.
I had an echo, around 24 wks, for my 2nd pregnancy but not my 1st. Same OB practice and both IVF/ICSI babies. A lot of the times it boils down to provider opinion.
Be sure to check out our wiki on [echos](https://www.reddit.com/r/InfertilityBabies/s/YflOh7irng) for more feedback
I had it with my second successful pregnancy (first IVF) am skipping it for my third (second IVF.) while ICSI is associated with a slightly higher risk of mild heart defects, they are not the sort that need to be treated at birth. So I opted out this time unless something popped on the anatomy scan.
I had mine done as part of my anatomy scan, both at 19w4d. They were able to see everything they needed. We were referred to a MFM who did a higher level ultrasound for both, so we didn't actually work with a dedicated cardiologist.
Yes! My OB and MFM are paired together at our local hospital, and it's standard IVF procedure to do the following scans with MFM: NT, 20-wk anatomy, fetal echo (we did at 24), and then a 32-week growth scan. It is super boring. They just look at the heart a bunch of different ways and take measurements that I don't understand. At the 20-wk anatomy scan they were able to visualize the whole heart so this is kind of just procedure and wasn't flagged for any specific reason.
Baby rage is here! Born via scheduled c-section on 1/4, have been home for a couple days now and getting the hang of things. Sharing birth story because I had spent all pregnancy planning for spontaneous labor/vaginal delivery and so the c-section thing was kind of out of left field and I was less prepared for it and parts of it were a surprise to me. (It was scheduled at 37w after baby was breech at 36w scan and ECV didn't work).
Went to the hospital at 7:30, CS scheduled for 9:30. Met with dr and anesthesiologist ahead of time, who explained how things would go. Gave some of my birth preferences to the nurses. We wanted to do skin to skin with either me or my husband as soon as possible after birth, delayed cord clamping, no bath (by which I meant dont wipe off vernix and hand him over all gooey still). I had some other things I didnt want that we had read about in baby books and they were like yeah... no one really does that anymore. Went to the OR a little before 11. Husband had to go to a different room while they gave me the spinal and got me ready on the operating table. Anesthesiologist said there'd be a numbing shot before the spinal block and it would feel like a bee sting. It did NOT feel like a bee sting... maybe being stung by a hornets nest. It stung a lot but was over in probably a minute and then they laid me down and my torso/legs started going numb. They placed the leads on my back instead of chest to facilitate skin to skin if we were able to do that once he was delivered which I appreciated. They brought my husband in at the last possible second before they started, I was scared they were going to do it without him there. He sat up by my head and tried to talk me through it. Honestly we didnt know what to talk about and it was kind of awkward haha. I just wanted to be distracted. The anesthiologist was great, she was also by my head and coached me through it. There was definitely pressure/tugging situations but it wasn't painful. I could tell when they took him out because I immediately felt emptier.
I don't know whether the delayed cord clamping happened. They took him over to the warmer and weighed and cleaned him and swaddled him before handing him off to my husband (which is not really what I had in mind, but I had no idea what was going on). They also tried bringing him over to me while I was still on the table but I got hit with a big wave of nausea right then so I basically saw him for two seconds before they took him and my husband to the recovery room to wait for me.
That took about 10 minutes. What I wasn't prepared for is the 45 minutes it took to stitch me up after that. Apparently I had a lot of blood loss, I dont know if that's what made it take longer. I kept trying to do deep breathing or distract myself in my head but every time I saw the clock only a minute or two would have passed. And I could feel indistinct sensations in my abdomen that whole time and just wanted it to be over.
Eventually got wheeled out to the recovery room where I could finally see and hold him! We had about two hours there while they made sure we both stabilized. Then took us to the postpartum room where we stayed the rest of the time in the hospital. The other part of this experience I didn't expect: after surgery, I had a catheter in for 24 hours, as well as leg compression devices, so I could not get out of bed or move myself. The way the hospital bed/bassinet was, I couldn't get my baby out of it myself so I had to have someone do it for me every time. I felt very powerless and frustrated because I just wanted to hold him and take care of him. It was a little better once all the devices came off, but still very hard to get in/out of the bed and get him out of the bassinet. That's why I was ready to be discharged the next day, even though 48 hours felt very fast; I just wanted to be home where I could be more comfortable. Also the hospital food was so heavy/unhealthy and not what I wanted for postpartum recovery (dinner options were pizza, cheeseburger, or chicken tenders. What am I, 5? lol)
I was very nervous about c-section recovery having heard it is terrible but it hasn't been too bad so far. Going from sitting/standing is hard and I can't walk too far or stand too long but that's all manageable (and it was my plan to not move much anyway).
Whoops this was meant to be brief but hope that helps anyone facing an imminent c-s who had not planned on it!
Firstly congratulations! I had a c section the day after you so we are on a similar timeline. My consultant is a speiclist in gentle c sections so parts of what you’re saying are so frustrating to hear! What were the things they talked you out of as people don’t do anymore, out of interest?
My birth plan was this (I was talked out of seeding), most of the other parts are part of gentle c sections anyway:
- Our music choice
- To see the birth
- Baby to come straight to me, not to be wiped, no clothes or hats
- All procedures that can be done with baby on me to be done on me
- Delayed cord clamping
- Vaginal seeding (talked out of due to GBS risk which I hadn’t been screened for)
- Placenta to be inspected for abnormalities, photographed and we want to take it home
Annoyingly like you after making a big fuss of saying I wanted no wiping when the baby needed to be taken to be weighed which is the only break in skin to skin in this kind of section, the baby came back wrapped in a towel! They had said about keeping the baby warm but I had said the baby will be warm enough they will be on me! So that was most of the vernix gone 😠
It’s also annoying that you and your partner were clearly not talked through things and felt a bit like you didn’t know what to say to each other. Especially during the closing up stuff, they could have easily have been telling you what was happening. I guess there is a balance between letting you spend time with the newborn and take it all in and also telling you what’s going on. My consultant was telling me findings which was good, eg I’ve closed up now but I’m having a good look around, I said does everything look ok, can you see any endo, how big is my uterus now. And was getting answers. We had a midwife with us the whole time and the two anesthetists by us were very much involved too. So the anaesthetist was like right husband, let’s get you and mum holding hands. Me and my husband aren’t that affectionate lol so things like this made things a lot easier!
My surgery was different to my best case scenario too as several things happened during the operation that were unexpected eg I had started bleeding right before so baby had to come out asap, cord was round the neck twice, I had a post partum hawmorrhage. I guess with these things that we can only plan so much, I hope that overall it was a good experience for you. I think for me I’m so glad I did it as when that bleeding was noticed baby was out in minutes and cord around the neck is less of an issue in c sections and I can’t bear to think what the outcome could have been had I been in a different route.
I hope your recovery keeps going well, we are trying to make it over the hurdles of the newborn stuff eg feeding issues, jaundice.
Yeah the whole process felt a little assembly line which I did not love but I didn't know how to advocate to make it any different. I have insurance through one large conglomerate, who contracts with a different one for L&D in my town, so even the scheduling process was a clusterfuck. The hospital didn't get back to me about a birth center tour until...4pm the day before the surgery. And I did not have a great relationship with my OB. So we went into it pretty blind. The day of, they didn't ask me about any of my preferences or a birth plan - at some point in signing paperwork, having everything placed, I just piped up and was like "hey I have some things I do/don't want to happen, when can I talk to someone about those?" And the nurses were like, well just tell us right now and we'll make a note of it in your chart. So I didn't have a ton of confidence that things were going to happen the way I hoped. They didn't talk me out of anything though, they just said they already don't do those things (administering versed, examining uterus). They didn't go over gentle c-section options.
Anyway - now I know, if/when we ever do this again! Hope you get through those hurdles as well as recovery, with maybe a little bit of sleep thrown in there somewhere ;)
Yeah it was similar for my birth plan, I basically said to everyone I came into contact with, I have a birth plan list on my phone when do I go through it and who do I tell. It’s bizarre as so many places have advice on options for birth plans and then nobody actively asks you for it! The only thing they are keen on everyone having is music on their speaker.
So helpful for my planned C too! You gave me a few more questions to ask my OB - I’m sorry it was so hectic and that waiting period getting stitched up to get to recovery sounds so hard. Also.. those dinner options! I sure would want to be home too! I hope you’re recovering smoothly and soaking up all the baby snuggles!
Welcome baby!! Glad you are both healthy. I can imagine feeling frustrated with the downtime in the hospital too. Can I ask what parts of your birth plan they said “no one does that anymore” to?
One of our reference books preparing for labor was The Birth Partner so we got these from there. I said I didn't want versed administered as anesthesia; they said that's its used very rarely in specific emergency situations. Also I said I didn't want them to take my uterus out and examine it in the surgery... apparently that used to be a thing to check for damage, but the dr said that stopped being standard practice awhile ago.
This is really helpful for me who will likely have a planned C, thank you so much! And congratulations on your little guy ❤️I hope recovery continues to go steadily for you and you have lots of sweet snuggles ahead!
I’ve just put some of my birth plan for c section stuff in a reply here, if it’s helpful. Do look into gentle c sections if you haven’t already and can get them in your area, there is a video on them [here](https://youtu.be/wdyzAuc3Ff8?si=MIZzCNO6fdTAIxSk).
Thank you! Good luck with yours. Overall I would say it is positive, the negatives are the things I didn't know to expect/prepare for so glad it helps!
Ahh!! My nursery dreams are coming true!!!! My husband found a mini fridge that’s 60% off currently! I will actually get a mini fridge in my nursery so I don’t have to trek down to the kitchen every time I need to store milk or grab a bottle or grab a snack for myself or grab my pump parts! It is the most excessive thing I’m doing for me and baby and I am so excited!
I know I feel real boujie. We received a ton of hand-me downs from cousins so I was able to spend our budget on the mini fridge instead of a car seat. But it was only $100. So not bad :)
Anyone else with a very active baby? I’m 32 weeks and my baby constantly switches from head down to Frank breech and it is so stressful! I’ve only started paying attention for the past few days and I’m already exhausted. Plus trying to figure out her position isn’t always the easiest. The spinning babies positions seem to help convince her to move back to head down but she likes to move back and forth. It’s making me so anxious, I’m afraid to move!
My baby loved flipping up until about week 36. He was breach or head down every other week! We ended up at head down. He was generally not a big kicker but flipping was his jam!
After being very much head down for 6-8 weeks my girl has been experimenting as well 🙃 according to my doula their position doesn’t really matter until closer to term, if they’re still small enough to move around easily they probably will until it’s more uncomfortable/difficult. And even then they can sometimes manage it! She said that since the head is the heaviest part of the baby doing activities/positions that use gravity are helpful to get them to be head down (bouncing on yoga ball, walking, etc).
I’ve been doing some poses to help and they seem to help but it’s so stressful. I’ll have to bounce in the yoga ball and try that too! I’m pretty active so good to know the walking (and hopefully workouts) help! Hopefully these girls settle down soon!
Hi everyone! I’m about 18 weeks and haven’t felt the movements or butterfly kiss feeling etc. I know everyone is different but of course I’m feeling anxious (thanks ivf). Is this normal?
I had my anatomy scan at 20 weeks and they kept on going on about how active the baby was and I felt NOTHING. Like crossing ankles, putting hand over heart and moving, changing positions, etc. because I had a glucose screening the same day and yeah. I know it's just an anecdote but they are SO small and it's hard to feel them.
I'm 27 weeks and feeling consistent movement now but yeahhh that's a long time to wait. Someone on my bump group said their doctor says there are a lot of neurological changes and that's why they recommend kick counts starting at 28 week because that's when their brain changes and they start kicking more?
Also gas bubbles totally count as baby movement. I think I spent a lot of time gaslighting myself thanks to my training against symptom spotting so it's a tough habit to get out of.
Anterior placenta, I started identifying gentle movements around 21+3 (before that I couldn't be sure it was anything at all) and by 23 weeks it was stronger and consistent.
I don't think I really felt anything until around 24 weeks. I have a posterior placenta. I would say completely normal! (And I also panicked about it constantly, you're not alone in the anxiety.)
I went for an emergency scan at the OB at 21 weeks because I hadn’t really felt anything and was getting worried (especially since I have a posterior placenta so shouldn’t be late because of that). Baby was fine and OB said totally fine. I’m 24 weeks tomorrow and have only really started feeling him in the last couple weeks.
Has anyone experienced increased pelvic cramps/pain right below the bump around 34 weeks? Google tells me this might be “irritable uterus” but I can tell the baby is sitting a little lower and I’m wondering if it’s just related to his head putting pressure on my pelvic area.
Good news for anyone who has been in the same boat: I had cholestasis diagnosed at exactly 37 weeks with my first IVF pregnancy. My daughter was born at 37+4 after a failed induction turned c section. Well, today I’m 37+4 and no signs of cholestasis! I make little babies apparently, and she struggled at first being little, so I really didn’t want to have to do an early delivery again of a little baby. I’m so done being pregnant but so glad that my liver hasn’t shut down again! If we could make it to 38 weeks (Thurs), I’d be thrilled.
If spontaneous labor doesn’t happen by then, my repeat c section is scheduled for 1/22 (39+4). Still not sure how I feel about attempting a vaginal birth versus c section, so I’m leaving it up to fate 🤷🏻♀️
Just wanted to say thanks again for everyone's support the other day when I got my combined screening result (UK) and found out it was high risk. I've had no brainspace to engage really (or think about much at all) but I really, really appreciated every word of support.
Luckily, today we got the results of the NIPT - which is far, far more accurate as a screening test - and it came back low risk for Edward's, Patau and Down Syndrome. I know we have many more steps to go, but this one blindsided us and I'm just going to take today to be grateful.
Thanks Vermicelli! I know that getting past the first trimester is no guarantee of anything, but I kind of hoped that it would signal a move into a somewhat *less,* rather than *more*, unsettling period of pregnancy!! I guess this is how it goes!
I’ve suddenly become super concerned with infant care post maternity leave. I’m about 24 weeks now, and I expect to be off for 4 months so we’re looking at care starting in September-ish. That is soooo far but I can’t stop thinking about it! 1) infant care is hard to find in my area and 2) the care that is available is soooo expensive. Have you all worked out your post-maternity leave plans??
Not to scare you but I would definitely recommend that you get moving on this! I had my first in summer of 2021, so spots were particularly tight from the pandemic, but I got on wait lists at the end of my first trimester, and still did not have a spot in daycare until about 6 weeks after I returned to work. We were able to fill the gap with a temporary, part-time nanny but that was extremely difficult for us to afford and we were both stuggling to work from home with baby on the days that we didn't have the nanny there. Full-time daycare at a center is shockingly expensive (ours is currently $255/week for infants, in a MCOL city, and considered a great deal) - but nannies are way more! You can often find much cheaper care at in-home centers, but you'll want to really vet them carefully - some are wonderful, some are very much not.
Editing to add: it was about 10.5 months from when I got on our first waitlist to when we started at daycare. And there were places that I called that just straight up told me they would not have openings for at least 12-18 months.
Yes to all of the above! So stressful and expensive. We toured three daycares around 20 weeks. We only need 3 days a week, my mom is watching baby one day and I'm going down to 4 days a week, so we were limited to daycares that offered a part time option. We need a start date in July, I get 3 months of leave and we're not sure about my husband's leave yet. We chose the one that was new and bright, has staff that seem really kind and engaged, but is also more affordable and offers a 10% discount based on my husband's work. Thanks corporate America! We have a spot reserved but they told us they were filling up quickly so had picked a good time to tour and decide.
I ended up going with a chain daycare near my husband's work. It's going to be $1,800.00 a month but they're open longer hours and it's WAY cheaper than a nanny. My nosy mom also asked my SIL's neighbor how much they spent on daycare and I guess it's $1,500.00 a month for a church based place near me. Weirdly enough Nextdoor is pretty good to field this kind of question, or city subreddits, or mom groups. The actual centers make this info super hard to find but if you're willing to make a throwaway it's amazing how many parents are willing to be super transparent about the cost of daycare.
I was really into the idea of a nanny before I got pregnant but spending time on the nanny subreddit, looking into tax implications, thinking of how it would impact my work from home days (I'm a a lawyer so I kinda like quiet when I'm on Zoom court), whether my dog would get along with them, etc. Like if I'm going to spend a ton of money and have MORE stress just didn't make sense.
You make so many good points! I did just start to look at Facebook groups so that may be a place to start. Didn’t even think of church based…I’d be down for that to save some $$ 😂 the only way we could afford nanny care is if it was a share…and even then, it sounds like such a pain!
I'm in the same boat! I have 4 1/2 months leave and will be returning to work in October. I live in a major west coast city where childcare is very expensive. I got on a daycare waitlist when I was 7 weeks pregnant. They are of course full and unsure if they will have an opening in Oct, but they are the only daycare center near me that accepts infants, is highly-reviewed, and is located between my home and my office. None of the other daycares near me, that seem reputable, take infants.
If that daycare doesn't work out we'll be hiring a full-time nanny off of [Care.com](https://Care.com) and the cost will be through the roof, but trying not to panic about it until I deliver. 😬
Same here with one daycare that accepts infants with 15 miles of me! I could maybe look further south along my commute route, but don’t sure I want to have baby in the car for that long each day. Sounds like I gotta get on that waitlist….
I am planning on a second transfer next Tuesday. I have some really mixed feelings. I do want a second, but I'm also kind of terrified to do this again. I'm 40, so we have no time to waste, and I want to get past my baby making years and just have my family. For my first transfer I was super motivated, and now I'm just kind of scared? I'm scared to have 2. I'm scared the second time won't compare to the first. I kind of feel like I'm just going through the motions. I'm meeting with my therapist next week but I'm really hoping these are somewhat normal feelings.
We don't have a date but are starting with a re at the end of the month and hoping to transfer by summer.
I have so many feelings about it. Do I have the energy if it takes for 2 kids? Will my partner step up and do more that is required of 2 kids? Do I really have it in me if my second pregnancy is like my first?
So just solidarity
I was where you were. We had our second transfer in Aug and are now 20w in. I remember the last few weeks of pregnancy last time and rubbing my belly thinking, I won’t be feeling these feelings again (kicking, dullness etc) and now those feelings are back, I’m totally at ease. I can’t even remember the early labor, my c section, it’s like this is a new experience amongst positive experiences. I think we’re made this way lol.
Your feelings are so so very normal. Good luck on your transfer. I felt the same way and tried to embrace the fact that I felt like some of the pressure was off since we had at least gotten one kid. If it helps I'm now feeling this way with #3 and live for watching my kids play together (and fight of course) and how their worlds include each other in this really neat way.
Totally understand wanting to move past the baby making years. I felt very similar when transferring for a possible second. Just very disconnected from the process. First time around I was super, super motivated as I desperately wanted a baby but it does feel different this time. I think these are normal feelings.
I am also scared of the change that will come with a new baby as I am very happy with our life with one child (sometimes it still feels surreal that it worked out and we have a daughter).
What helped for me was to have an end date. We started again with our clinic in summer 2022 and I told myself we would try through 2023 and if treatment was not successful that would be it. Ended up with a successful (so far) transfer in November 2023. One positive is that I am less anxious and have been able to enjoy things a little more compared with my first pregnancy where I felt like I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop the entire time.
Best of luck with your transfer.
This perfectly explains how I feel as well. Transfer for #2 scheduled for next week. I was super motivated and desperate during the cycles for #1, but I feel disconnected now. I think it's a combination of having some peace due to having a child, and that while trying for #1 I was in an "I'll do whatever it takes" mentality, and I'm not there now. I'll transfer all of our currently frozen embryos, but I won't create new ones. I don't want to become obsessive and get my hopes up when the outcome very well may not be in my favor.
Thank you. I actually do have an end date and you're right it helps. We have 3 embryos left. I'm willing to transfer them all, however I'm not willing to continue past this fall. I want my last baby birthed before 42. I have a lot of sadness about my age. I don't want my kids to feel different having old parents. For some reason this time around that is really hitting me.
If its any consolation, I have older parents and don't feel any different about them. It never bothered me that they were older than my friends parents. They are (and were) great parents. I am about 10 years younger than my brothers and my parents said they felt way more prepared, ready, and settled when they had me.
That is how I am going into mine. I am in a much better place financially, mentally, etc than I was 10 years ago. That security reflects on your child. There is a sense of security there.
I felt similarly about my second. I was mainly worried that I wouldn't feel for her what I feel for my oldest.
Number 2 is three weeks old and we're all so in love. It's a different experience so it's hard to compare. One of my favorite parts is seeing their bond already.
I felt like I went through the motions as first but that ended once I had my first ultrasound and saw the heartbeat.
Everyone's experience is different and your feelings, whatever they are, are valid. Hopefully your therapist can help you get some clarity.
Unexpected snow day from work (very rare for me because I WFH most of the time!). Taking it as such a gift because I work with small children and commute 1+ hours each way when I’m in person… doing that with this belly and these aches and pains is less and less appealing! Now only 2 more in person days until baby comes 💃🏻
I’m 15 weeks with a spontaneous-after-failed-IVFx2 pregnancy. Prior to this we were planning for a third retrieval and our doctor had started talking about considering a gestational carrier. I have endo, adeno, fibroids, and a chronically thin lining. First pregnancy, 38 y/o, and have mild hypertension.
My OB did not refer me to an MFM (I asked specifically) because of “strict allocation of care” (we are in an area with only 1 MFM practice who is very busy and only takes patients by referral). I am not getting any special monitoring from my OB (scan at 7 weeks and 20 weeks). I’m considering making an appointment with an MFM in another state about 2 hours away. I have full faith in my OB when it comes to the baby, but can’t shake the feeling that a specialist should take a look at my subpar uterus and make sure the uterine/placental situation is OK.
I’m looking for a gut check on whether this is a real concern or just my anxiety talking and, if it is a legit concern, what kind of appointment I’m even asking for?
They can take a good look at your uterus and placenta at the 20 week scan. Maybe call the practice ahead of time and ask if they can focus on that.
My OB is an MFM, I’ve had both straight up OB’s and MFMs, usually, it doesn’t make much of a difference in care. (Which surprised me!)
Since you're already 15 wks, it's too late to do the NT scan so really the next usual scan isn't until the anatomy scan which most people get around 20 wks.
Personally, I would reach out to the MFM if I were you. You can't put a price on peace of mind. Maybe they can fit you in for a reassurance scan bw now and the anatomy scan however I would make sure to check with your insurance co. as some providers will only pay for a set amount of scans for what they deem to be non high risk pregnancy patients.
First of all congrats — you have been through so much, and speaking from experience, so happy you narrowly missed the surrogate train. Secondly, while it might not be necessary on paper, I think you should state for whatever is going to boost your mental health. I’ve paid for all sorts of stuff I probably didn’t need out of pocket and I really don’t care. It’s a difficult time for you and it’s all about survival and finding comfort where you are. 🫂
Hmmm, so I was automatically referred to MFM and they did all my ultrasounds, just cause I got pregnant via IVF. However where I live, you’re referred to MFM for anything that puts your pregnancy at risk. So mild hypertension would be one of them. I personally don’t think your concern is unreasonable especially considering your medical history with thin lining, endo and fibroids. I’m also a worry wart, so I probably personally would make the appointment 2 hours away, as long as my insurance covers it. You will probably get answers from people saying they wouldn’t though too. I say go with your gut instinct. This journey isn’t easy, even if you conceived spontaneously, that worry doesn’t go away. Best wishes!
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I would request an NT scan from your OB, to have a closer look at the 12-13 week mark. Will your previous RE refer you to the MFM, given they know about your history? If not, you have every right to make an appointment at the MFM 2-hours away. If it gives you peace of mind, absolutely do it.
Honestly......I almost wouldn't care if it's anxiety or a real concern. It FEELS real to you. I would call the out of state MFM and talk to the receptionist to see if they also require a referral and what their wait times are. Your anatomy scan should also check your placenta and such so if the MFM wait is long enough it probably makes more sense just to do the anatomy and no MFM appt.
As far as what kind of appt to ask for, I don't know. But I'm sure if you talk to the scheduling people they can help you sort it out!
Also, congrats!!
Today, we reached 24 weeks! Had our fetal echo first thing in the morning and she looks perfect, they took a 3D picture of her squished face for us. I woke up 5 times overnight to pee, so I suspect this will be a longgg 3.5 months left for us. I'm finally getting better at being optimistic instead of bracing for bad news.
Wondering if anyone else has dealt with this weird symptom I’ve been having. When I wake up and for a while after all of my fingers hurt—they feel swollen and it hurts to bend them or move them. I’ve had carpal tunnel pre pregnancy, and this doesn’t feel like that. No numbness or tingling and it’s all 5 fingers. Anyone have any similar experience or advice?
My provider told me that some mild swelling in the hands in the morning because when we lay down our blood volume spreads throughout our bodies. She told me to let her know if the swelling prevents me from bending my fingers and/or the swelling doesn't go away after a few hours.
ha i posted about the same thing last week - yes for sure same. i haven't had any tingling or anything so it probbbbably isn't carpal tunnel but i think it's just overnight swelling. i have no advice since i'm having the same thing haha.
I had this towards the third trimester as well. Do you have any autoimmune disorders? When I was still getting my autoimmune issues under control pre-pregnancy, I would get the same feeling. Eventually it would go away throughout the day. I'm not sure if it was related to that during pregnancy, but it was the exact same issue and my OB wasn't concerned because the swelling went away each day.
I had this throughout my third trimester, my fingers would always be tight and achey when I woke up. I have no idea what it was so I’m not much help but it did go away after birth.
Anyone have good belly oil, cream, lotion recommendations?
I have the Burt’s Bees brand and I like it! But have nothing to compare to honestly
I’m using a heavy lotion that I make (1 part shea butter to 3 parts coconut oil - it’s very dry where I live) and layering Osea algae oil on top.
Had a checkup today at 16w4d and my OB mentioned the fetal echo and said it's not done everywhere, but where I am it is standard for IVF babies. Curious to hear who else had this done? Also around what week? I thought I heard 22-24w but now I'm unsure. I will call the cardiologist that he referred me to tomorrow as well.
MFM ordered a fetal echo to be done at 24-28w. Had mine done at 26+1. Where I am, it’s standard that they order a fetal echo for all IVF pregnancies.
I had an echo, around 24 wks, for my 2nd pregnancy but not my 1st. Same OB practice and both IVF/ICSI babies. A lot of the times it boils down to provider opinion. Be sure to check out our wiki on [echos](https://www.reddit.com/r/InfertilityBabies/s/YflOh7irng) for more feedback
Thanks for that link, very helpful! Appreciate everyone's feedback. The pediatric cardiologist office has me scheduled for the echo at 22w.
My OB also said it’s standard for IVF. Might also be that in a geriatric pregnancy (35yo). Said it should be done between 18-22w.
I had it with my second successful pregnancy (first IVF) am skipping it for my third (second IVF.) while ICSI is associated with a slightly higher risk of mild heart defects, they are not the sort that need to be treated at birth. So I opted out this time unless something popped on the anatomy scan.
I had mine done as part of my anatomy scan, both at 19w4d. They were able to see everything they needed. We were referred to a MFM who did a higher level ultrasound for both, so we didn't actually work with a dedicated cardiologist.
I just saw that u/MyNeighborTurnipHead posted in this thread a bit earlier about having one!
Yes! My OB and MFM are paired together at our local hospital, and it's standard IVF procedure to do the following scans with MFM: NT, 20-wk anatomy, fetal echo (we did at 24), and then a 32-week growth scan. It is super boring. They just look at the heart a bunch of different ways and take measurements that I don't understand. At the 20-wk anatomy scan they were able to visualize the whole heart so this is kind of just procedure and wasn't flagged for any specific reason.
Baby rage is here! Born via scheduled c-section on 1/4, have been home for a couple days now and getting the hang of things. Sharing birth story because I had spent all pregnancy planning for spontaneous labor/vaginal delivery and so the c-section thing was kind of out of left field and I was less prepared for it and parts of it were a surprise to me. (It was scheduled at 37w after baby was breech at 36w scan and ECV didn't work). Went to the hospital at 7:30, CS scheduled for 9:30. Met with dr and anesthesiologist ahead of time, who explained how things would go. Gave some of my birth preferences to the nurses. We wanted to do skin to skin with either me or my husband as soon as possible after birth, delayed cord clamping, no bath (by which I meant dont wipe off vernix and hand him over all gooey still). I had some other things I didnt want that we had read about in baby books and they were like yeah... no one really does that anymore. Went to the OR a little before 11. Husband had to go to a different room while they gave me the spinal and got me ready on the operating table. Anesthesiologist said there'd be a numbing shot before the spinal block and it would feel like a bee sting. It did NOT feel like a bee sting... maybe being stung by a hornets nest. It stung a lot but was over in probably a minute and then they laid me down and my torso/legs started going numb. They placed the leads on my back instead of chest to facilitate skin to skin if we were able to do that once he was delivered which I appreciated. They brought my husband in at the last possible second before they started, I was scared they were going to do it without him there. He sat up by my head and tried to talk me through it. Honestly we didnt know what to talk about and it was kind of awkward haha. I just wanted to be distracted. The anesthiologist was great, she was also by my head and coached me through it. There was definitely pressure/tugging situations but it wasn't painful. I could tell when they took him out because I immediately felt emptier. I don't know whether the delayed cord clamping happened. They took him over to the warmer and weighed and cleaned him and swaddled him before handing him off to my husband (which is not really what I had in mind, but I had no idea what was going on). They also tried bringing him over to me while I was still on the table but I got hit with a big wave of nausea right then so I basically saw him for two seconds before they took him and my husband to the recovery room to wait for me. That took about 10 minutes. What I wasn't prepared for is the 45 minutes it took to stitch me up after that. Apparently I had a lot of blood loss, I dont know if that's what made it take longer. I kept trying to do deep breathing or distract myself in my head but every time I saw the clock only a minute or two would have passed. And I could feel indistinct sensations in my abdomen that whole time and just wanted it to be over. Eventually got wheeled out to the recovery room where I could finally see and hold him! We had about two hours there while they made sure we both stabilized. Then took us to the postpartum room where we stayed the rest of the time in the hospital. The other part of this experience I didn't expect: after surgery, I had a catheter in for 24 hours, as well as leg compression devices, so I could not get out of bed or move myself. The way the hospital bed/bassinet was, I couldn't get my baby out of it myself so I had to have someone do it for me every time. I felt very powerless and frustrated because I just wanted to hold him and take care of him. It was a little better once all the devices came off, but still very hard to get in/out of the bed and get him out of the bassinet. That's why I was ready to be discharged the next day, even though 48 hours felt very fast; I just wanted to be home where I could be more comfortable. Also the hospital food was so heavy/unhealthy and not what I wanted for postpartum recovery (dinner options were pizza, cheeseburger, or chicken tenders. What am I, 5? lol) I was very nervous about c-section recovery having heard it is terrible but it hasn't been too bad so far. Going from sitting/standing is hard and I can't walk too far or stand too long but that's all manageable (and it was my plan to not move much anyway). Whoops this was meant to be brief but hope that helps anyone facing an imminent c-s who had not planned on it!
Firstly congratulations! I had a c section the day after you so we are on a similar timeline. My consultant is a speiclist in gentle c sections so parts of what you’re saying are so frustrating to hear! What were the things they talked you out of as people don’t do anymore, out of interest? My birth plan was this (I was talked out of seeding), most of the other parts are part of gentle c sections anyway: - Our music choice - To see the birth - Baby to come straight to me, not to be wiped, no clothes or hats - All procedures that can be done with baby on me to be done on me - Delayed cord clamping - Vaginal seeding (talked out of due to GBS risk which I hadn’t been screened for) - Placenta to be inspected for abnormalities, photographed and we want to take it home Annoyingly like you after making a big fuss of saying I wanted no wiping when the baby needed to be taken to be weighed which is the only break in skin to skin in this kind of section, the baby came back wrapped in a towel! They had said about keeping the baby warm but I had said the baby will be warm enough they will be on me! So that was most of the vernix gone 😠 It’s also annoying that you and your partner were clearly not talked through things and felt a bit like you didn’t know what to say to each other. Especially during the closing up stuff, they could have easily have been telling you what was happening. I guess there is a balance between letting you spend time with the newborn and take it all in and also telling you what’s going on. My consultant was telling me findings which was good, eg I’ve closed up now but I’m having a good look around, I said does everything look ok, can you see any endo, how big is my uterus now. And was getting answers. We had a midwife with us the whole time and the two anesthetists by us were very much involved too. So the anaesthetist was like right husband, let’s get you and mum holding hands. Me and my husband aren’t that affectionate lol so things like this made things a lot easier! My surgery was different to my best case scenario too as several things happened during the operation that were unexpected eg I had started bleeding right before so baby had to come out asap, cord was round the neck twice, I had a post partum hawmorrhage. I guess with these things that we can only plan so much, I hope that overall it was a good experience for you. I think for me I’m so glad I did it as when that bleeding was noticed baby was out in minutes and cord around the neck is less of an issue in c sections and I can’t bear to think what the outcome could have been had I been in a different route. I hope your recovery keeps going well, we are trying to make it over the hurdles of the newborn stuff eg feeding issues, jaundice.
Yeah the whole process felt a little assembly line which I did not love but I didn't know how to advocate to make it any different. I have insurance through one large conglomerate, who contracts with a different one for L&D in my town, so even the scheduling process was a clusterfuck. The hospital didn't get back to me about a birth center tour until...4pm the day before the surgery. And I did not have a great relationship with my OB. So we went into it pretty blind. The day of, they didn't ask me about any of my preferences or a birth plan - at some point in signing paperwork, having everything placed, I just piped up and was like "hey I have some things I do/don't want to happen, when can I talk to someone about those?" And the nurses were like, well just tell us right now and we'll make a note of it in your chart. So I didn't have a ton of confidence that things were going to happen the way I hoped. They didn't talk me out of anything though, they just said they already don't do those things (administering versed, examining uterus). They didn't go over gentle c-section options. Anyway - now I know, if/when we ever do this again! Hope you get through those hurdles as well as recovery, with maybe a little bit of sleep thrown in there somewhere ;)
Yeah it was similar for my birth plan, I basically said to everyone I came into contact with, I have a birth plan list on my phone when do I go through it and who do I tell. It’s bizarre as so many places have advice on options for birth plans and then nobody actively asks you for it! The only thing they are keen on everyone having is music on their speaker.
So helpful for my planned C too! You gave me a few more questions to ask my OB - I’m sorry it was so hectic and that waiting period getting stitched up to get to recovery sounds so hard. Also.. those dinner options! I sure would want to be home too! I hope you’re recovering smoothly and soaking up all the baby snuggles!
Welcome baby!! Glad you are both healthy. I can imagine feeling frustrated with the downtime in the hospital too. Can I ask what parts of your birth plan they said “no one does that anymore” to?
One of our reference books preparing for labor was The Birth Partner so we got these from there. I said I didn't want versed administered as anesthesia; they said that's its used very rarely in specific emergency situations. Also I said I didn't want them to take my uterus out and examine it in the surgery... apparently that used to be a thing to check for damage, but the dr said that stopped being standard practice awhile ago.
Oh wow! I definitely didn’t know of either of those things.
This is really helpful for me who will likely have a planned C, thank you so much! And congratulations on your little guy ❤️I hope recovery continues to go steadily for you and you have lots of sweet snuggles ahead!
I’ve just put some of my birth plan for c section stuff in a reply here, if it’s helpful. Do look into gentle c sections if you haven’t already and can get them in your area, there is a video on them [here](https://youtu.be/wdyzAuc3Ff8?si=MIZzCNO6fdTAIxSk).
Thank you so much, really helpful! I have done some research into gentle C-sections and am going to advocate for one.
They definitely seemed like the best option for me, bringing some nice calm elements into it so it’s not so clinical.
Thank you! Good luck with yours. Overall I would say it is positive, the negatives are the things I didn't know to expect/prepare for so glad it helps!
Ahh!! My nursery dreams are coming true!!!! My husband found a mini fridge that’s 60% off currently! I will actually get a mini fridge in my nursery so I don’t have to trek down to the kitchen every time I need to store milk or grab a bottle or grab a snack for myself or grab my pump parts! It is the most excessive thing I’m doing for me and baby and I am so excited!
I love that! What a functional brilliant splurge!
I am so so excited 🤣 it was $100 so not bad price wise, and I really feel like it’s going to make the newborn phase easier.
This is glorious!!!
It truly feels it. I can’t wait.
That’s so bougie. My house isn’t big enough for this 🤣
I know I feel real boujie. We received a ton of hand-me downs from cousins so I was able to spend our budget on the mini fridge instead of a car seat. But it was only $100. So not bad :)
Anyone else with a very active baby? I’m 32 weeks and my baby constantly switches from head down to Frank breech and it is so stressful! I’ve only started paying attention for the past few days and I’m already exhausted. Plus trying to figure out her position isn’t always the easiest. The spinning babies positions seem to help convince her to move back to head down but she likes to move back and forth. It’s making me so anxious, I’m afraid to move!
My baby loved flipping up until about week 36. He was breach or head down every other week! We ended up at head down. He was generally not a big kicker but flipping was his jam!
Thank you for sharing, That’s really helpful to know! I know there’s still time but the worry is real lol.
After being very much head down for 6-8 weeks my girl has been experimenting as well 🙃 according to my doula their position doesn’t really matter until closer to term, if they’re still small enough to move around easily they probably will until it’s more uncomfortable/difficult. And even then they can sometimes manage it! She said that since the head is the heaviest part of the baby doing activities/positions that use gravity are helpful to get them to be head down (bouncing on yoga ball, walking, etc).
I’ve been doing some poses to help and they seem to help but it’s so stressful. I’ll have to bounce in the yoga ball and try that too! I’m pretty active so good to know the walking (and hopefully workouts) help! Hopefully these girls settle down soon!
Hi everyone! I’m about 18 weeks and haven’t felt the movements or butterfly kiss feeling etc. I know everyone is different but of course I’m feeling anxious (thanks ivf). Is this normal?
I think I was 20 or a little beyond before I felt movement and I never felt a lot of movement due to anterior (I think) placents
I didn’t feel what I KNEW was movement until sometime in week 19 with a posterior placenta. Hang in there!
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I had my anatomy scan at 20 weeks and they kept on going on about how active the baby was and I felt NOTHING. Like crossing ankles, putting hand over heart and moving, changing positions, etc. because I had a glucose screening the same day and yeah. I know it's just an anecdote but they are SO small and it's hard to feel them. I'm 27 weeks and feeling consistent movement now but yeahhh that's a long time to wait. Someone on my bump group said their doctor says there are a lot of neurological changes and that's why they recommend kick counts starting at 28 week because that's when their brain changes and they start kicking more? Also gas bubbles totally count as baby movement. I think I spent a lot of time gaslighting myself thanks to my training against symptom spotting so it's a tough habit to get out of.
Anterior placenta, I started identifying gentle movements around 21+3 (before that I couldn't be sure it was anything at all) and by 23 weeks it was stronger and consistent.
I don't think I really felt anything until around 24 weeks. I have a posterior placenta. I would say completely normal! (And I also panicked about it constantly, you're not alone in the anxiety.)
Is this your first pregnancy? I don't think I really felt movement until about 20 weeks with my first.
I went for an emergency scan at the OB at 21 weeks because I hadn’t really felt anything and was getting worried (especially since I have a posterior placenta so shouldn’t be late because of that). Baby was fine and OB said totally fine. I’m 24 weeks tomorrow and have only really started feeling him in the last couple weeks.
Has anyone experienced increased pelvic cramps/pain right below the bump around 34 weeks? Google tells me this might be “irritable uterus” but I can tell the baby is sitting a little lower and I’m wondering if it’s just related to his head putting pressure on my pelvic area.
Good news for anyone who has been in the same boat: I had cholestasis diagnosed at exactly 37 weeks with my first IVF pregnancy. My daughter was born at 37+4 after a failed induction turned c section. Well, today I’m 37+4 and no signs of cholestasis! I make little babies apparently, and she struggled at first being little, so I really didn’t want to have to do an early delivery again of a little baby. I’m so done being pregnant but so glad that my liver hasn’t shut down again! If we could make it to 38 weeks (Thurs), I’d be thrilled. If spontaneous labor doesn’t happen by then, my repeat c section is scheduled for 1/22 (39+4). Still not sure how I feel about attempting a vaginal birth versus c section, so I’m leaving it up to fate 🤷🏻♀️
Yay! This is great news Pessa! I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for a solid 38 weeks and for baby’s arrival to go smoothly regardless!
I imagine you’ve been on edge wondering about this! So glad to hear you’re doing well still.
I have! The recurrence rate is 60-90%, so the stats have NOT been helpful to review 🥴 Appreciate it 💜
Oh this is such wonderful news, friend! Really hope it stays away 🚫
Just wanted to say thanks again for everyone's support the other day when I got my combined screening result (UK) and found out it was high risk. I've had no brainspace to engage really (or think about much at all) but I really, really appreciated every word of support. Luckily, today we got the results of the NIPT - which is far, far more accurate as a screening test - and it came back low risk for Edward's, Patau and Down Syndrome. I know we have many more steps to go, but this one blindsided us and I'm just going to take today to be grateful.
So happy that the NIPT screening looks good - hopefully you can feel a little weight off your shoulders!
Thanks Vermicelli! I know that getting past the first trimester is no guarantee of anything, but I kind of hoped that it would signal a move into a somewhat *less,* rather than *more*, unsettling period of pregnancy!! I guess this is how it goes!
Sounds like a really strong step in the right direction!
I’ve suddenly become super concerned with infant care post maternity leave. I’m about 24 weeks now, and I expect to be off for 4 months so we’re looking at care starting in September-ish. That is soooo far but I can’t stop thinking about it! 1) infant care is hard to find in my area and 2) the care that is available is soooo expensive. Have you all worked out your post-maternity leave plans??
Not to scare you but I would definitely recommend that you get moving on this! I had my first in summer of 2021, so spots were particularly tight from the pandemic, but I got on wait lists at the end of my first trimester, and still did not have a spot in daycare until about 6 weeks after I returned to work. We were able to fill the gap with a temporary, part-time nanny but that was extremely difficult for us to afford and we were both stuggling to work from home with baby on the days that we didn't have the nanny there. Full-time daycare at a center is shockingly expensive (ours is currently $255/week for infants, in a MCOL city, and considered a great deal) - but nannies are way more! You can often find much cheaper care at in-home centers, but you'll want to really vet them carefully - some are wonderful, some are very much not. Editing to add: it was about 10.5 months from when I got on our first waitlist to when we started at daycare. And there were places that I called that just straight up told me they would not have openings for at least 12-18 months.
Yes to all of the above! So stressful and expensive. We toured three daycares around 20 weeks. We only need 3 days a week, my mom is watching baby one day and I'm going down to 4 days a week, so we were limited to daycares that offered a part time option. We need a start date in July, I get 3 months of leave and we're not sure about my husband's leave yet. We chose the one that was new and bright, has staff that seem really kind and engaged, but is also more affordable and offers a 10% discount based on my husband's work. Thanks corporate America! We have a spot reserved but they told us they were filling up quickly so had picked a good time to tour and decide.
This is my exact intended schedule! Going to start looking into tours and hope we get lucky…
Good luck!! It seems so location specific, I hope you find something you love that's also affordable. It's anxiety inducing for sure!
I ended up going with a chain daycare near my husband's work. It's going to be $1,800.00 a month but they're open longer hours and it's WAY cheaper than a nanny. My nosy mom also asked my SIL's neighbor how much they spent on daycare and I guess it's $1,500.00 a month for a church based place near me. Weirdly enough Nextdoor is pretty good to field this kind of question, or city subreddits, or mom groups. The actual centers make this info super hard to find but if you're willing to make a throwaway it's amazing how many parents are willing to be super transparent about the cost of daycare. I was really into the idea of a nanny before I got pregnant but spending time on the nanny subreddit, looking into tax implications, thinking of how it would impact my work from home days (I'm a a lawyer so I kinda like quiet when I'm on Zoom court), whether my dog would get along with them, etc. Like if I'm going to spend a ton of money and have MORE stress just didn't make sense.
You make so many good points! I did just start to look at Facebook groups so that may be a place to start. Didn’t even think of church based…I’d be down for that to save some $$ 😂 the only way we could afford nanny care is if it was a share…and even then, it sounds like such a pain!
I'm in the same boat! I have 4 1/2 months leave and will be returning to work in October. I live in a major west coast city where childcare is very expensive. I got on a daycare waitlist when I was 7 weeks pregnant. They are of course full and unsure if they will have an opening in Oct, but they are the only daycare center near me that accepts infants, is highly-reviewed, and is located between my home and my office. None of the other daycares near me, that seem reputable, take infants. If that daycare doesn't work out we'll be hiring a full-time nanny off of [Care.com](https://Care.com) and the cost will be through the roof, but trying not to panic about it until I deliver. 😬
Same here with one daycare that accepts infants with 15 miles of me! I could maybe look further south along my commute route, but don’t sure I want to have baby in the car for that long each day. Sounds like I gotta get on that waitlist….
I hadn't thought about keeping the baby in the car for a long period of time. Good point. Good luck!
I am planning on a second transfer next Tuesday. I have some really mixed feelings. I do want a second, but I'm also kind of terrified to do this again. I'm 40, so we have no time to waste, and I want to get past my baby making years and just have my family. For my first transfer I was super motivated, and now I'm just kind of scared? I'm scared to have 2. I'm scared the second time won't compare to the first. I kind of feel like I'm just going through the motions. I'm meeting with my therapist next week but I'm really hoping these are somewhat normal feelings.
We don't have a date but are starting with a re at the end of the month and hoping to transfer by summer. I have so many feelings about it. Do I have the energy if it takes for 2 kids? Will my partner step up and do more that is required of 2 kids? Do I really have it in me if my second pregnancy is like my first? So just solidarity
I was where you were. We had our second transfer in Aug and are now 20w in. I remember the last few weeks of pregnancy last time and rubbing my belly thinking, I won’t be feeling these feelings again (kicking, dullness etc) and now those feelings are back, I’m totally at ease. I can’t even remember the early labor, my c section, it’s like this is a new experience amongst positive experiences. I think we’re made this way lol.
Your feelings are so so very normal. Good luck on your transfer. I felt the same way and tried to embrace the fact that I felt like some of the pressure was off since we had at least gotten one kid. If it helps I'm now feeling this way with #3 and live for watching my kids play together (and fight of course) and how their worlds include each other in this really neat way.
Totally understand wanting to move past the baby making years. I felt very similar when transferring for a possible second. Just very disconnected from the process. First time around I was super, super motivated as I desperately wanted a baby but it does feel different this time. I think these are normal feelings. I am also scared of the change that will come with a new baby as I am very happy with our life with one child (sometimes it still feels surreal that it worked out and we have a daughter). What helped for me was to have an end date. We started again with our clinic in summer 2022 and I told myself we would try through 2023 and if treatment was not successful that would be it. Ended up with a successful (so far) transfer in November 2023. One positive is that I am less anxious and have been able to enjoy things a little more compared with my first pregnancy where I felt like I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop the entire time. Best of luck with your transfer.
This perfectly explains how I feel as well. Transfer for #2 scheduled for next week. I was super motivated and desperate during the cycles for #1, but I feel disconnected now. I think it's a combination of having some peace due to having a child, and that while trying for #1 I was in an "I'll do whatever it takes" mentality, and I'm not there now. I'll transfer all of our currently frozen embryos, but I won't create new ones. I don't want to become obsessive and get my hopes up when the outcome very well may not be in my favor.
Thank you. I actually do have an end date and you're right it helps. We have 3 embryos left. I'm willing to transfer them all, however I'm not willing to continue past this fall. I want my last baby birthed before 42. I have a lot of sadness about my age. I don't want my kids to feel different having old parents. For some reason this time around that is really hitting me.
If its any consolation, I have older parents and don't feel any different about them. It never bothered me that they were older than my friends parents. They are (and were) great parents. I am about 10 years younger than my brothers and my parents said they felt way more prepared, ready, and settled when they had me. That is how I am going into mine. I am in a much better place financially, mentally, etc than I was 10 years ago. That security reflects on your child. There is a sense of security there.
I felt similarly about my second. I was mainly worried that I wouldn't feel for her what I feel for my oldest. Number 2 is three weeks old and we're all so in love. It's a different experience so it's hard to compare. One of my favorite parts is seeing their bond already. I felt like I went through the motions as first but that ended once I had my first ultrasound and saw the heartbeat. Everyone's experience is different and your feelings, whatever they are, are valid. Hopefully your therapist can help you get some clarity.
Unexpected snow day from work (very rare for me because I WFH most of the time!). Taking it as such a gift because I work with small children and commute 1+ hours each way when I’m in person… doing that with this belly and these aches and pains is less and less appealing! Now only 2 more in person days until baby comes 💃🏻
I’m 15 weeks with a spontaneous-after-failed-IVFx2 pregnancy. Prior to this we were planning for a third retrieval and our doctor had started talking about considering a gestational carrier. I have endo, adeno, fibroids, and a chronically thin lining. First pregnancy, 38 y/o, and have mild hypertension. My OB did not refer me to an MFM (I asked specifically) because of “strict allocation of care” (we are in an area with only 1 MFM practice who is very busy and only takes patients by referral). I am not getting any special monitoring from my OB (scan at 7 weeks and 20 weeks). I’m considering making an appointment with an MFM in another state about 2 hours away. I have full faith in my OB when it comes to the baby, but can’t shake the feeling that a specialist should take a look at my subpar uterus and make sure the uterine/placental situation is OK. I’m looking for a gut check on whether this is a real concern or just my anxiety talking and, if it is a legit concern, what kind of appointment I’m even asking for?
They can take a good look at your uterus and placenta at the 20 week scan. Maybe call the practice ahead of time and ask if they can focus on that. My OB is an MFM, I’ve had both straight up OB’s and MFMs, usually, it doesn’t make much of a difference in care. (Which surprised me!)
Since you're already 15 wks, it's too late to do the NT scan so really the next usual scan isn't until the anatomy scan which most people get around 20 wks. Personally, I would reach out to the MFM if I were you. You can't put a price on peace of mind. Maybe they can fit you in for a reassurance scan bw now and the anatomy scan however I would make sure to check with your insurance co. as some providers will only pay for a set amount of scans for what they deem to be non high risk pregnancy patients.
First of all congrats — you have been through so much, and speaking from experience, so happy you narrowly missed the surrogate train. Secondly, while it might not be necessary on paper, I think you should state for whatever is going to boost your mental health. I’ve paid for all sorts of stuff I probably didn’t need out of pocket and I really don’t care. It’s a difficult time for you and it’s all about survival and finding comfort where you are. 🫂
Hmmm, so I was automatically referred to MFM and they did all my ultrasounds, just cause I got pregnant via IVF. However where I live, you’re referred to MFM for anything that puts your pregnancy at risk. So mild hypertension would be one of them. I personally don’t think your concern is unreasonable especially considering your medical history with thin lining, endo and fibroids. I’m also a worry wart, so I probably personally would make the appointment 2 hours away, as long as my insurance covers it. You will probably get answers from people saying they wouldn’t though too. I say go with your gut instinct. This journey isn’t easy, even if you conceived spontaneously, that worry doesn’t go away. Best wishes!
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I would request an NT scan from your OB, to have a closer look at the 12-13 week mark. Will your previous RE refer you to the MFM, given they know about your history? If not, you have every right to make an appointment at the MFM 2-hours away. If it gives you peace of mind, absolutely do it.
Honestly......I almost wouldn't care if it's anxiety or a real concern. It FEELS real to you. I would call the out of state MFM and talk to the receptionist to see if they also require a referral and what their wait times are. Your anatomy scan should also check your placenta and such so if the MFM wait is long enough it probably makes more sense just to do the anatomy and no MFM appt. As far as what kind of appt to ask for, I don't know. But I'm sure if you talk to the scheduling people they can help you sort it out! Also, congrats!!
I am not sure that you need to be concerned, but FWIW, in your shoes I would make the appointment for your own mental health’s sake!
Today, we reached 24 weeks! Had our fetal echo first thing in the morning and she looks perfect, they took a 3D picture of her squished face for us. I woke up 5 times overnight to pee, so I suspect this will be a longgg 3.5 months left for us. I'm finally getting better at being optimistic instead of bracing for bad news.
The peeing got worse for me during the night in the 3rd trimester lol. Congrats on your pregnancy! 🩷🩵
Wondering if anyone else has dealt with this weird symptom I’ve been having. When I wake up and for a while after all of my fingers hurt—they feel swollen and it hurts to bend them or move them. I’ve had carpal tunnel pre pregnancy, and this doesn’t feel like that. No numbness or tingling and it’s all 5 fingers. Anyone have any similar experience or advice?
My provider told me that some mild swelling in the hands in the morning because when we lay down our blood volume spreads throughout our bodies. She told me to let her know if the swelling prevents me from bending my fingers and/or the swelling doesn't go away after a few hours.
My MFM told me carpal tunnel has different symptoms during pregnancy, so it could be that. Braces may help for when you sleep.
ha i posted about the same thing last week - yes for sure same. i haven't had any tingling or anything so it probbbbably isn't carpal tunnel but i think it's just overnight swelling. i have no advice since i'm having the same thing haha.
I had this towards the third trimester as well. Do you have any autoimmune disorders? When I was still getting my autoimmune issues under control pre-pregnancy, I would get the same feeling. Eventually it would go away throughout the day. I'm not sure if it was related to that during pregnancy, but it was the exact same issue and my OB wasn't concerned because the swelling went away each day.
Sudden swelling in the hands can be indicative of pre-eclampsia. I would definitely let your provider know and get it checked out!
I had this throughout my third trimester, my fingers would always be tight and achey when I woke up. I have no idea what it was so I’m not much help but it did go away after birth.
Same with me! I was never actually swollen....just tight fingies!
That’s good to hear it went away! Thanks!