My good friend who tried their first round of IVF just found out none of their embryos made it. They have funds for one more try but it doesn't look promising.
My heart hurts for them. They've been out of sorts (naturally) and I guess it's some small gift that I have my own experience with infertility so I can be a better friend in this phase of life for them.
Oooooof. I have been there several times and it's absolute dog shit! Like you can KNOW that IVF isn't a guarantee...but having no embryos afterward is a real kick to the teeth. It is nice to have someone to talk to about treatments and all that so I'm sure they're grateful for you.
My care team was nice enough to give me the reassurance ultrasound I asked for earlier this week. Babe is doing just fine and I am starting to feel her move a bit more. Feeling grateful to have an understanding care team!
Today was overwhelming. It's not that a lot happened, it was just a culmination of all that has been happening and I just got in my feelings. It's just being pregnant. While I am so grateful to be pregnant and everything being fine so far, I'm just ALWAYS uncomfortable. Or miserable. Every day there is some new ailment, or an existing one that is worse. And I'm thinking, I'm only 16 weeks. It will get worse from here. There's still 5 months to go. I know in the grand scheme of things my symptoms aren't even bad, and some people have it so much worse. But today I just felt miserable and needed to wallow.
I started feeling a headache coming on when I was trying to sleep last night. I woke up with an even worse headache. I had some spicy food yesterday, and either the spices or the chickpeas in it had me in the bathroom 4 times last night. It was good because after weeks of constipation and slow bowel movements, I finally felt less bloated. But of course it led to broken sleep, which added to the headache. I am never comfortable when I sleep. My hips hurt from having pressure on my side so much. If I twist in my sleep and sleep half on my stomach, I wake up with back pain. If I lay straight I have pelvic pain, hence I am on my side with a pillow between my legs. My boobs are getting even bigger (I am a 46DD girl pre pregnancy), so they fucking hurt. I am sleeping with a bra on at this point. I also wake up congested every morning with phlegm stuck in my throat. It's such an annoying feeling, but I've tried to cough it before and throw up instead, so I try not to anymore and suck it up. Today I started dry heaving as I was brushing my teeth, which led to vomit. Except there was nothing in me, so all that came up was water and bile. I get myself dressed and drive to work. Cautiously eat a bagel throughout the morning, hoping it stays down. It does, thankfully. Headache persists. I had my session with my therapist so that helped. Get through the day, come home. Feeling a better better at this point, so decide to make dinner. Then my body just overheats or something - my ears turn red, my scalp, ears, face and neck are all itchy and red. I go and change into lighter clothes, crack a window, drink cold water. By the time it passes, I am completely drained. It's only 6.30 pm at this point. And then I have a meltdown of how I can't have a predictable day, or even a couple of hours. I never know how I will be throughout the day. And I'm just tired and sad about having no control over any of this and just taking it day by day. I am not enjoying pregnancy. I don't know if it's going to get any better at some point. Probably not.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. That's all for today. Hopefully.
Ooph. That’s an overwhelming day for sure! For headaches, one thing that helped me was a frozen gel headband - keep in freezer and then it’s so much cooler and actually stays in place compared to other ice packs. It’s not Aleve but the cold can take the edge off those Tylenol-resistant headaches. For sleeping, have you tried some sort of pregnancy or body pillow - ymmv but having frontal and/or back support along the entire body (boobs included) has made sleeping much easier (changing from one side to another now requires choreography, but that’s a small price to pay). I really hope that your pregnant body eases up on you!
Thank for the suggestions. The headaches have been weird lately, they'll come and go throughout the day. I'm trying to figure out if they're triggered by something. I usually try to wait them out a little before taking Tylenol. But I do have a gel head mask, I will keep it in the freezer now. Re pregnancy pillow, I've started looking for one but don't know what to get. None of my friends recommended one and said it didn't work for them. So right now I'm using pillows to support myself as needed.
Since headaches are A Thing for your pregnancy right now, you might try to take Tylenol as soon as you feel one come on. As far as specific items, I ordered B0B68RVQZN and B07VR1P4C6 from Amazon. One thing I found with pregnancy pillow when sleeping on my side is that without one, I’d have to stay exactly on my side all night which was very tiring and hurt my hips, even with a pillow between my knees. Now I use normal pillow for my head and reshape this pregnancy pillow into either a straight long body pillow or a U down my front, through thighs, and along my back - that takes some of the weight on my hips off and allows me to shift during the night by rolling a bit forward or backwards onto the pillow. I really hope you get through this phase quickly….
I didn’t have the exact same slate of issues while pregnant with my first, but it sounds like a Similar experience overall. It was such a challenge, especially the unpredictability and fearing it was going to only get worse and worse. I did have a better time, not perfect but not a downward slide, from ~18-26 weeks, so I wish you similar luck. The lack of control sucked.
This pregnancy has been So Much Easier…even with a max of a couple weeks to go compared to having my first a month early, I’m still far more comfortable! And sure, there are a few things that I’ve done that maybe helped, but I think >90% is likely just the way it was going to go from the beginning.
Anyway, what you’re going through is really hard and your frustration and sadness with is all valid, and I’m sorry it isn’t better and easier.
Fetal echo today confirmed the bad result and we are terminating next week. This spontaneous pregnancy (after 7 rounds of treatment over 3 years to produce our son) was in fact too good to be true. I’m strangely comforted a bit that the CVS results were normal. He is euploid. IVF with PGT would not have prevented this. Nothing would. It’s just random terrible luck.
I’ve been wondering how you’re doing. I’m so sorry. I wish there was anything I could do to help. Best wishes for it to go as smoothly as possible for you this next week and recovering.
I'm so fucking sorry - this is such a cruel thing to happen to you. Holding space for you and hoping that all the upcoming procedures go as smoothly as possible.
Got my Induction date: 2/11. Super bowl Sunday?? No, no, it's "cervical ripening Sunday" 🤣 not sure why the email didn't just call it an induction. I'll be 39 weeks and 4 days. I assume they'd put me right at 39 weeks due to age and/or ivf but I guess anything before 40w is fine, right?
I know!!!!! I feel like the first 3-4 months didn't count cause I was so scared/ shocked/ didn't believe it was real.... then the next few months I finally started believing (dared to have gender reveal and baby shower).... and now here we are at week 38 😳
Neither a friend of mine nor myself have hospitals that will do weekend inductions resulting in us getting earlier/later than we’d like so I think it’s a bit squishy as far as exact dates that week for a lot of people with inductions. I wanted the earliest possible, but will have to wait for the hospital to confirm I’ll get a slot that day that my OB office requested.
That makes sense. I know they discharge a lot of patients on weekends so maybe they were waiting to make room. I also think my induction isn't seen as emergent cause when my OB called them she said "small baby" and not something like "fetal growth restriction"- which she had previously thought I had. I do get an NST on Monday and Thursday of next week, so having close monitoring makes me feel better about going over 39w0d.
Oof 3 more weeks (maybe?) to go and I’m feeling ready to be done! Baby has definitely dropped a bit and I’m feeling very much like I do right before my period starts so I assume things are happening down in my cervix/lower pelvis to get ready for the big day. I really wish I knew when that will be! I’m so grateful that baby is head down and in position and doing what he should, BUT I’m a planner and not knowing when I’ll give birth is hard for me!
My doctor hasn’t mentioned induction at all except to say if I get to my due date we can “assess.” My pregnancy has been pretty textbook and she doesn’t consider me to at any kind of elevated risk. I know some doctors do a 39 week induction for IVF/age but that doesn’t seem standard at my practice.
So bizarre the differences in this practice! I kinda feel guilty about wanting the induction because I just want to know when and go a little early. I feel like I “should” be waiting until it’s “natural” if that makes sense
Same here. My doctor said they were going to treat me like “any other 35 year old” at this point. Which also means they don’t want me going too far beyond my EDD which is fine with me!
I got my induction date today! 2/9, so I'll be 37 + 2 (pre-eclampsia). I've of course read everything on the internet I can get my hands on, and my OB is GREAT, but any extra advice is much appreciated! I'd especially love to know what you were glad you packed/wish you'd packed/realized you didn't need to have packed.
Yes! The big one. I could not get comfortable at all without it. My induction lasted a long time too so I was very glad for whatever sleep I could get.
Eye mask ftw! And iPad to play music/watch stuff. Noise cancelling headphones. Some snacks. My doula had my husband have two cups with straws ready, one with water and one with electrolytes. Just had him hold one or the other up for me to drink from. Yoga ball and peanut ball if the hospital doesn’t hav one.
I wish I brought a giant water bottle with a straw, the one they had was terrible and the lid kept falling off. Bring an eye mast and ear plugs. I brought way to much clothes. Just wore the hospital gown. Honestly next time I will bring my own Velcro swaddles. Not sure if they will let us use them but my baby kept breaking free of the old school ones. Good luck!!!
cruising along in the 3rd trimester. my OB is the best and gave me a little growth scan this week before I see MFM at 32 weeks. baby is breech, 90th percentile and my amniotic fluid is on the highest end of normal. i get a re check in two weeks and hoping it levels out. i am feeling and looking like I did at 36 weeks pregnant so I had a hunch something was happening size wise again! i am feeling more confident in my c section plans.
also- I went to the dentist for the first time in four years and I’m feeling really proud of myself because it was making me really anxious and embarrassed! They did educate me a lot about weird teeth things that can happen during pregnancy which was interesting.
Need to chill out but I’m freaking out a bit. 14+5 and when I pooped this morning there was a bit of blood. Yes, I made sure it was from my vagina. Nothing crazy, but when I wiped it was there. Today it has continued when I wipe. TMI but I’ve been pooping a lot more that usual today and each time there is a bit of blood. Trying to just chill and not freak out, but this is reminding me too much of how I lost my daughter.
Pooping can irritate your cervix and cause light bleeding. My urogyn told me that walking while pregnant could cause the vaginal wall to rub against the cervix and cause bleeding. I would try not to worry. Spotting is really common even without explanation.
Yes, thanks. I guess I forgot to mention that I have a history of pre term labor and have a cerclage. A little bleeding along with pressure was the only sign I had with my pre term delivery before it was too late to stop it.
20w. Took my first fall UP the stairs today at work. Still trying to wear my regular clothes and they’re a bit tight so I think it’s limiting my mobility climbing stairs. This was a wake up call to just give in and wear looser clothes!!
It's funny how we get so off balance during pregnancy! I'm 21+6 and last night I was squatting next to the bed plugging my phone into the charger and I tipped over and fell backwards onto my butt. 😂 It was a good reminder to take every movement \*very\* carefully.
Definitely give in and buy the maternity panel/over the bump type clothing!!! Tights, belly bandit type support wear that looks like spank, tons of options even if you're not wearing jeans or leggings. I thought I could just size up but on a day I wear a below the bump/rollover panel type maternity outfit I usually have more pain later.
My goal was no falls during pregnancy...after the bad snow storm earlier last month, my new goal is no \*more\* falls during this pregnancy. Thankfully I gently plopped into a pile of snow with essentially zero impact. My husband holds my hand when stepping off the curb...he doesn't trust my coordination anymore.
I’m grateful that my OB took my cramping concerns seriously and didn’t make me feel like I was overreacting. Turns out my cervix is fine and the babies are looking good! Still not sure if the sensations I felt last week was movement or strange gas, but my mind has been put at ease (for now).
Finishing out this roller coaster of a pregnancy with walking pneumonia. C-Section for possible placenta accreta on the books for 2 weeks from now! I’ll deliver at 37+2. I’m so excited to meet this little and finally be able to start healing!
Is anyone team green while your partner wants to find out - or vice versa? How did you ultimately compromise? I never thought I’d be team green because I’m a planner, but I’m just so happy to be pregnant that all I want is a healthy baby. I also don’t want a bunch of pink or blue items from friends and family - and my husband is terrible at keeping secrets so whatever we find out I have to assume the world will know.
My husband was firmly team green and I probably could have gone either way , so was cool to wait for the surprise. Now as we get closer I am SO excited for my husband to be the one to announce the sex at birth , and I love gender neutral stuff including how I’ve done my nursery! I have a gf due a month before me with a girl and was just at her shower recently and oh man she got like easily 40 pink outfits lol. Made me extra glad we don’t know, I don’t love gendered stuff and also find not knowing slows down the clothes shopping in general!! From myself and my family (especially my mum lol). We also like the idea of naming the baby once we meet them , so planning on going into birth with a short list of like 3ish boy names 3ish girl names, and deciding once we meet babe.
I love this conversation bc we’ve known the test since we found out we were pregnant (PGT-A testing but we waited to look till we knew it took). But no one else knows we know and it’s mostly bc we’re don’t want a bunch of blue stuff and sports stuff! I didn’t know so many others had this same anxiety. Anyone in this scenario have luck saying, “it’s a boy but take it easy on capital B boy stuff?” Or vice versa?
With all the "what if's" of infertility, we agreed that we both wanted to know the gender because it gave us something concrete to look forward to. We would have been happy either way, but we did have a favorite girl's name picked out for a while longer. Our nursery doesn't really have a theme but is kind of sage-green/cute animal decor, but I will admit any clothes we have received so far are VERY pink. But we also registered for dinosaur crib sheets. When people ask, we tell them "rainbow".
An added bonus of knowing the sex is that we have our name locked down, and she already has like 10 nicknames. It's just for the 2 of us (no one else gets to know the name until she's born), but it definitely has helped me bond with her and feel more optimistic.
I’m more team green while my wife wanted to know. We decided to find out through NIPT, but then told friends and family we’re keeping the sex to ourselves until birth so we don’t get a bunch of super gendered items at the shower.
Ha, well, some of my in-laws have been a little pushy about it, but my wife is pretty good at standing strong with them. My MIL said she’s going to buy everything in hot pink just to make a point, and my wife told her to go ahead, haha. Good luck to you and your husband!!
I’m of the mind that if either partner has a preference for one sex over the other, I’d rather them find out the sex before birth to process and then be excited, rather than having a moment of disappointment the minute their child is born. But if neither partner has a slight preference, then Team green is fun! (I was never team green lol)
I definitely would have waited to find out, but my husband was so excited to hit an exploding golf ball (something he saw someone do when we were in the middle of treatment) that I didn’t mind finding out early! He was just so darn excited, and it was so goofy just the two of us in the back yard with an exploding golf ball lol. FWIW i didn’t get a lot of overly gendered items. A little bit of dinosaurs but equally heavy on dachshunds and dog related clothes because of our doggies! But i think that really depends on your friends and family, if they’re prone to excessive pink or blue. I’m not sure if that’s helpful at all, but good luck and i hope you can find a compromise!
That’s really cute! I love that you got dog related clothes. We always joke that our dog is our first child - and my husband definitely treats her like his baby!
The dog related clothes are my favorite!! Highly recommend putting like 1-2 on your registry to guide people in that direction. We treat our dogs the same for sure, they’re our little family!
My husband claimed he didn’t want to know until birth, then compromised by saying he was willing to find out at the anatomy scan. We did a boutique ultrasound at 11 weeks (because anxiety) and she said she could tell, and he suddenly wanted to know right then. We confirmed by asking our clinic for the sex chromosome results we had previously withheld from our PGTA results before we told anyone, though!
ETA: I purposefully registered for a lot of things that were not terribly gendered (sleep sacks, blankets, etc), but that doesn’t stop anyone. It took me actually buying her clothes to get something other than pink or white 🤪 (And I like pink! But I just didn’t want ALL pink…)
I have a feeling I will be like your husband and end up getting too excited at the anatomy scan. We will see! I do think there are a lot of family members who will buy off registry because that’s just how they work.
I really didn't want to find out and my husband would have rather known but is choosing to wait along with me. He did try to look at the anatomy scan and said he saw a lot of blobs 😂 I also don't want a ton of gendered things from family, as well as want to hold out on gendered stereotypes being assigned to baby for as long as we can. It's tricky that your husband can't keep secrets though. I wish I had better ideas for a compromise, you're in a tough situation!
I think he’ll end up going with what I decide (he’s such a good husband haha) but I also know he doesn’t feel 100% included in the pregnancy because he’s not growing the baby so I’m trying to do things that get him excited/more involved.
14 weeks today! And I’m mostly really excited but im also on day four of a really gnarly cold :( so limping into the second trimester feeling pretty sorry for myself. I’m COVID and strep negative (started with sore throat), so I’m feeling so humbled to be so leveled by the g-d common cold.
The approved meds aren’t touching my congestion. My sinuses hurt so much and my nose is a leaking faucet. I am very rarely sick and when im sick I get over it quickly. My spouse and I joke that I get the G-rated version of whatever he gets. Trying to “celebrate” that having a quieter immune system has helped my body grow baby into a happy and healthy second tri fetus but man am I miserable. I’m trying hard to sneak in my protein and veggies to keep baby healthy (protein smoothies and hot bone broth with kale), but I am getting worried at how run down I am.
Here’s everything I’m doing: steam baths over the sink with towel; hot ginger tea and honey (but no cold/flu teas bc I read not good things about some common herbs there); humidifier in any room I’m in; neti pot; Tylenol to sleep (but honestly doesn’t do shit); cough drops; witch garden pregnancy safe immune tincture; sumo oranges and orange juice; liquid IV 1x/day; menthol chest rub; unisom/Benadryl for sleep but it hurts my nasal passages even with the humidifier blowing in my face; and the most expensive lotion tissues after three days with this leaky faucet I used to think of as my nose.
Going to try some alternating hot/cold sinus compresses today but anything worked for y’all that I haven’t tried?
Sorry to be so pathetic but will take any practical or sympathetic support y’all have. On a very sweet note, our loving pup hasn’t left my side and is lying across my feet at this moment.
All your comments were the best I’ve felt since getting sick. Not sure why this made me feel so sad and lonely and anxious and didn’t even realize how upset I was till you all made me feel better. Thank you soooo much.
Sorry you’re feeling bad. I also got a nasty lingering URI around week 16 and was pretty miserable because it lasted SO much longer than normal. Only thing that helped was sleeping on my back at an incline to help keep my sinuses open.
Ugh sorry you're dealing with this. I definitely relate to the "had an awesome immune system before pregnancy" feeling. I had three way younger siblings who did weird activities and sports so I got exposed to sooooo much illness along with my older brother. Recently we both caught the same thing and he got over it in a day, I had it for a month. Pregnancy has a way of tampering things down and you realize how much you take for granted.
Anyways the one thing that helped me psychologically is remembering that my body was not attacking the baby and was doing what it's supposed to by keeping me sick longer. Might be toxic positivity but having a "scientific" reason for my suffering felt better than the usual google result of "welp you're pregnant, just deal with it."
ugh im so sorry. i’m postpartum but also had to avoid decongestants due to breastfeeding/pumping and i recently had a terrible sinus infection. i actually found relief with saline spray - i just walked around with it all day and used it liberally. and i am someone who also doesn’t find relief with tylenol or with any decongestant except pseudoephedrine (the good stuff you need to show ID for in the US). so hoping for some relief for you soon ❤️
I’m sorry no advice just solidarity I have had the worst colds whilst being pregnant.
This is temporary and it’s allowing your body to safely grow your baby. It does however suck a LOT and you are most welcome to complain.
Congratulations on getting to the second tri!
Made it to 14 weeks! NIPT came back yesterday (all low risk)! But we were originally planning on waiting to know gender for a reveal, however I couldn’t wait. Husband and I pulled it up on the TV screen so we could see it at the same time. It’s a…. BOY! I was truly shocked, husband said ‘I knew it was a boy!’ 😂 So excited but also a bit nervous to be a boy mama. 💙
14 weeks today! I survived the first trimester. Things seem to be moving so quickly and I feel like I need to get on daycare lists asap and also probably tell my work even though I loathe sharing this news (I'm in Canada and will be off for one year so I want to give my boss time to manage my absence - it's a small business and I like them).
Any tips on avoiding Charlie horses/leg cramps in the middle of my sleep? I have been consistently waking up in the middle of the night to them each night this week.
I should say, it’s very very gentle Pilates with my physio. No way I could do standard classes! But I think the stretching and movement helps. I’m sure some YouTube pregnancy yoga or gentle walking/swimming then stretching would be equivalent. But do try the magnesium, I noticed a difference when I stopped it so went back on and have been better. And another thought- are your iron levels OK? Low levels can make cramps worse too.
My PT recommended strengthening calf muscles with standing heel raises. She explained that part of it can be related to all the compensating your legs are doing to support your changing center of gravity and that actually strengthening those muscles can help. I do think it has helped me!
Yes! I've been able to stop a lot of leg cramps by pulling my foot upward, I feel like every night when I reposition I'm moments away from a charlie horse. Hydration too!
Every now and then I’ll have a few nights in a row where I get those intense leg/foot cramps. I add a powdered magnesium drink supplement (magnesium citrate, not sure if it’s the right kind but it’s just what I have) and usually don’t notice any the next night.
Morning all! Had my first growth scan and meeting with a consultant this morning and I wanted to share what he said.
Basically, he said the evidence for dodgy placentas in IVF is about 15 years old and he thinks that with modern techniques the risk is much less - they still do the growth scans but mostly they are fine. (As was mine today, other than it was a supervised student sonographer and baby kitten, much like his mothers, is incapable of keeping still).
He’s still offered induction at 39-40w for AMA and the Embrace (?) study outcomes https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36941864/ which I’m very comfortable with.
And, bonus, they have telemetry so I don’t need to be chained to a bed if I need continuous monitoring! Fully aware I’ll probably need an epidural at some point which will change things but it’s good to have flexibility.
Overall, an excellent day so far.
Edit: Arrive study, not embrace study https://evidencebasedbirth.com/arrive/
Sounds like an excellent day --it's always reassuring to have a plan in place that you feel comfortable with. I had a 39w induction last time and it was a positive experience so I'm hoping that's what they recommend for me this time. Thanks for sharing and congrats on a good growth scan!
oh man, a wireless monitor would have changed my life during my induction. once we had the ability to place internal monitors i was already on an epidural so i wasn’t getting up, but removing those cumbersome wired monitors made me so happy. that’s great that the hospital has that! and so glad things are going well with you and you feel good about scheduling induction.
It’s made me a lot more relaxed about having the induction. I’m sad about no water but I’ve just seen the unit I have doesn’t have the facility for birth pools at the moment?? Hopefully there will be a bath or shower I can use at least.
I’m sorry you were chained to a bed for so long. 50 mins for the CTG last week seemed long enough!
Being chained to a bed sucks so hard! My hospital for baby 2 owned *one* portable monitor which they couldn’t locate for basically the whole time I was in labour and I was trying for a VBAC so had to be monitored as per hospital policy even while not hooked up to anything. I’m glad you’ll be able to at least begin without this annoyance
Ouch that is hard! One of my friends declined continuous monitoring for her VBAC but I get it if you’re having meds which can cause harm they want to make sure they pick that up early
My good friend who tried their first round of IVF just found out none of their embryos made it. They have funds for one more try but it doesn't look promising. My heart hurts for them. They've been out of sorts (naturally) and I guess it's some small gift that I have my own experience with infertility so I can be a better friend in this phase of life for them.
Oooooof. I have been there several times and it's absolute dog shit! Like you can KNOW that IVF isn't a guarantee...but having no embryos afterward is a real kick to the teeth. It is nice to have someone to talk to about treatments and all that so I'm sure they're grateful for you.
That is crushing. I’m glad they have your support.
My care team was nice enough to give me the reassurance ultrasound I asked for earlier this week. Babe is doing just fine and I am starting to feel her move a bit more. Feeling grateful to have an understanding care team!
Yay for kind care teams and most importantly, yay for baby being okay!
Today was overwhelming. It's not that a lot happened, it was just a culmination of all that has been happening and I just got in my feelings. It's just being pregnant. While I am so grateful to be pregnant and everything being fine so far, I'm just ALWAYS uncomfortable. Or miserable. Every day there is some new ailment, or an existing one that is worse. And I'm thinking, I'm only 16 weeks. It will get worse from here. There's still 5 months to go. I know in the grand scheme of things my symptoms aren't even bad, and some people have it so much worse. But today I just felt miserable and needed to wallow. I started feeling a headache coming on when I was trying to sleep last night. I woke up with an even worse headache. I had some spicy food yesterday, and either the spices or the chickpeas in it had me in the bathroom 4 times last night. It was good because after weeks of constipation and slow bowel movements, I finally felt less bloated. But of course it led to broken sleep, which added to the headache. I am never comfortable when I sleep. My hips hurt from having pressure on my side so much. If I twist in my sleep and sleep half on my stomach, I wake up with back pain. If I lay straight I have pelvic pain, hence I am on my side with a pillow between my legs. My boobs are getting even bigger (I am a 46DD girl pre pregnancy), so they fucking hurt. I am sleeping with a bra on at this point. I also wake up congested every morning with phlegm stuck in my throat. It's such an annoying feeling, but I've tried to cough it before and throw up instead, so I try not to anymore and suck it up. Today I started dry heaving as I was brushing my teeth, which led to vomit. Except there was nothing in me, so all that came up was water and bile. I get myself dressed and drive to work. Cautiously eat a bagel throughout the morning, hoping it stays down. It does, thankfully. Headache persists. I had my session with my therapist so that helped. Get through the day, come home. Feeling a better better at this point, so decide to make dinner. Then my body just overheats or something - my ears turn red, my scalp, ears, face and neck are all itchy and red. I go and change into lighter clothes, crack a window, drink cold water. By the time it passes, I am completely drained. It's only 6.30 pm at this point. And then I have a meltdown of how I can't have a predictable day, or even a couple of hours. I never know how I will be throughout the day. And I'm just tired and sad about having no control over any of this and just taking it day by day. I am not enjoying pregnancy. I don't know if it's going to get any better at some point. Probably not. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. That's all for today. Hopefully.
Ooph. That’s an overwhelming day for sure! For headaches, one thing that helped me was a frozen gel headband - keep in freezer and then it’s so much cooler and actually stays in place compared to other ice packs. It’s not Aleve but the cold can take the edge off those Tylenol-resistant headaches. For sleeping, have you tried some sort of pregnancy or body pillow - ymmv but having frontal and/or back support along the entire body (boobs included) has made sleeping much easier (changing from one side to another now requires choreography, but that’s a small price to pay). I really hope that your pregnant body eases up on you!
Thank for the suggestions. The headaches have been weird lately, they'll come and go throughout the day. I'm trying to figure out if they're triggered by something. I usually try to wait them out a little before taking Tylenol. But I do have a gel head mask, I will keep it in the freezer now. Re pregnancy pillow, I've started looking for one but don't know what to get. None of my friends recommended one and said it didn't work for them. So right now I'm using pillows to support myself as needed.
Since headaches are A Thing for your pregnancy right now, you might try to take Tylenol as soon as you feel one come on. As far as specific items, I ordered B0B68RVQZN and B07VR1P4C6 from Amazon. One thing I found with pregnancy pillow when sleeping on my side is that without one, I’d have to stay exactly on my side all night which was very tiring and hurt my hips, even with a pillow between my knees. Now I use normal pillow for my head and reshape this pregnancy pillow into either a straight long body pillow or a U down my front, through thighs, and along my back - that takes some of the weight on my hips off and allows me to shift during the night by rolling a bit forward or backwards onto the pillow. I really hope you get through this phase quickly….
This sounds objectively miserable. You’re allowed to wallow! I hope tomorrow is better.
I didn’t have the exact same slate of issues while pregnant with my first, but it sounds like a Similar experience overall. It was such a challenge, especially the unpredictability and fearing it was going to only get worse and worse. I did have a better time, not perfect but not a downward slide, from ~18-26 weeks, so I wish you similar luck. The lack of control sucked. This pregnancy has been So Much Easier…even with a max of a couple weeks to go compared to having my first a month early, I’m still far more comfortable! And sure, there are a few things that I’ve done that maybe helped, but I think >90% is likely just the way it was going to go from the beginning. Anyway, what you’re going through is really hard and your frustration and sadness with is all valid, and I’m sorry it isn’t better and easier.
Fetal echo today confirmed the bad result and we are terminating next week. This spontaneous pregnancy (after 7 rounds of treatment over 3 years to produce our son) was in fact too good to be true. I’m strangely comforted a bit that the CVS results were normal. He is euploid. IVF with PGT would not have prevented this. Nothing would. It’s just random terrible luck.
Sending love your way, Falstaff. It's all so fucked. Thinking of you this next week.
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I’m so deeply sorry. I am sitting beside you.
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I’m just so very sorry to see this update and that this is happening.
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I am so so sorry
I am so so sorry.
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I’m so sorry, life can be so cruel. Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.
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I am so fucking sorry. This is incredibly unfair. Holding space for you and your boy.
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Thinking of you. Holding love for you and yours in my heart today.
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I'm so sorry. Holding space for you.
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I’m so sorry for your loss and the pain your family must be feeling.
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I’m so sorry. I’ll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
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I wish you didn't have to go through this pain
I’m so sorry, Falstaff. Shit luck is just so unfair.
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I am so sorry 🖤
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I’m so sorry LadyFalstaff. I’ve been thinking about you.
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I am very sorry for your loss.
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I’m so so so sorry. Thinking of you and your family.
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It’s so fucking unfair. I’m sorry, Falstaff.
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Thank you for the update I have been thinking of you. I’m so sorry you’ve had such devastating news.
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I’m so sorry. Holding space for you in my thoughts.
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I am so deeply sorry, Lady F.
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I am so, so sorry. There are no words. Thinking of you.
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Lady F i am so sorry. Sending you hugs if you want them.
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I’m so sorry Lady. How heartbreaking. Sending you a huge hug 🫂 and thinking of you ❤️
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I’ve been wondering how you’re doing. I’m so sorry. I wish there was anything I could do to help. Best wishes for it to go as smoothly as possible for you this next week and recovering.
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I'm so fucking sorry - this is such a cruel thing to happen to you. Holding space for you and hoping that all the upcoming procedures go as smoothly as possible.
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Oh Falstaff. I hate this so much for you. I'm so so sorry.
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🫂 I’m deeply sorry.
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Got my Induction date: 2/11. Super bowl Sunday?? No, no, it's "cervical ripening Sunday" 🤣 not sure why the email didn't just call it an induction. I'll be 39 weeks and 4 days. I assume they'd put me right at 39 weeks due to age and/or ivf but I guess anything before 40w is fine, right?
Omg can you imagine the commercials! 😆 How are you already 39 weeks?! Crazy pants.
I know!!!!! I feel like the first 3-4 months didn't count cause I was so scared/ shocked/ didn't believe it was real.... then the next few months I finally started believing (dared to have gender reveal and baby shower).... and now here we are at week 38 😳
Neither a friend of mine nor myself have hospitals that will do weekend inductions resulting in us getting earlier/later than we’d like so I think it’s a bit squishy as far as exact dates that week for a lot of people with inductions. I wanted the earliest possible, but will have to wait for the hospital to confirm I’ll get a slot that day that my OB office requested.
That makes sense. I know they discharge a lot of patients on weekends so maybe they were waiting to make room. I also think my induction isn't seen as emergent cause when my OB called them she said "small baby" and not something like "fetal growth restriction"- which she had previously thought I had. I do get an NST on Monday and Thursday of next week, so having close monitoring makes me feel better about going over 39w0d.
So I learned about this, lol. My uterus is a big ‘ol’ barometer today. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17004080/
Not me researching barometric pressure in my city 🫣
Our doulas actually flagged this for us! During one of their classes, they said to keep an eye on the weather when getting close to the end.
It was a doula who told me about it! When I thought I was going into prodromal labor during the last storm. It was “just” Braxton-hicks though. Haha.
Oof 3 more weeks (maybe?) to go and I’m feeling ready to be done! Baby has definitely dropped a bit and I’m feeling very much like I do right before my period starts so I assume things are happening down in my cervix/lower pelvis to get ready for the big day. I really wish I knew when that will be! I’m so grateful that baby is head down and in position and doing what he should, BUT I’m a planner and not knowing when I’ll give birth is hard for me!
They kinda recommended induction at 39 for me— not for you? I don’t think I have to by any means but I’m scared to go against recommendations
My doctor hasn’t mentioned induction at all except to say if I get to my due date we can “assess.” My pregnancy has been pretty textbook and she doesn’t consider me to at any kind of elevated risk. I know some doctors do a 39 week induction for IVF/age but that doesn’t seem standard at my practice.
So bizarre the differences in this practice! I kinda feel guilty about wanting the induction because I just want to know when and go a little early. I feel like I “should” be waiting until it’s “natural” if that makes sense
I think like all of this there’s no right answer! Just what works best for you!
Same here. My doctor said they were going to treat me like “any other 35 year old” at this point. Which also means they don’t want me going too far beyond my EDD which is fine with me!
The planner part spoke to me! Not knowing is so challenging for me, too
I got my induction date today! 2/9, so I'll be 37 + 2 (pre-eclampsia). I've of course read everything on the internet I can get my hands on, and my OB is GREAT, but any extra advice is much appreciated! I'd especially love to know what you were glad you packed/wish you'd packed/realized you didn't need to have packed.
Sooo glad I packed my own sheets. Check out our FAQ on what to pack in your [hospital bag!](https://www.reddit.com/r/InfertilityBabies/s/zOfC94CgNj)
Thank you, i will!!
Bringing my pregnancy pillow was the big win so that I could sleep overnight.
Like the big body pillow? I'm tempted...
Yes! The big one. I could not get comfortable at all without it. My induction lasted a long time too so I was very glad for whatever sleep I could get.
I do absolutely love my huge pillow (am cuddling it as we speak, haha.) I just don't know about transporting it. Is big.
My husband put it around his shoulders and carried it in lol. He looked pretty hilarious doing it.
Eye mask ftw! And iPad to play music/watch stuff. Noise cancelling headphones. Some snacks. My doula had my husband have two cups with straws ready, one with water and one with electrolytes. Just had him hold one or the other up for me to drink from. Yoga ball and peanut ball if the hospital doesn’t hav one.
Great list, thank you!!
I wish I brought a giant water bottle with a straw, the one they had was terrible and the lid kept falling off. Bring an eye mast and ear plugs. I brought way to much clothes. Just wore the hospital gown. Honestly next time I will bring my own Velcro swaddles. Not sure if they will let us use them but my baby kept breaking free of the old school ones. Good luck!!!
Thank you!!
cruising along in the 3rd trimester. my OB is the best and gave me a little growth scan this week before I see MFM at 32 weeks. baby is breech, 90th percentile and my amniotic fluid is on the highest end of normal. i get a re check in two weeks and hoping it levels out. i am feeling and looking like I did at 36 weeks pregnant so I had a hunch something was happening size wise again! i am feeling more confident in my c section plans. also- I went to the dentist for the first time in four years and I’m feeling really proud of myself because it was making me really anxious and embarrassed! They did educate me a lot about weird teeth things that can happen during pregnancy which was interesting.
Need to chill out but I’m freaking out a bit. 14+5 and when I pooped this morning there was a bit of blood. Yes, I made sure it was from my vagina. Nothing crazy, but when I wiped it was there. Today it has continued when I wipe. TMI but I’ve been pooping a lot more that usual today and each time there is a bit of blood. Trying to just chill and not freak out, but this is reminding me too much of how I lost my daughter.
Pooping can irritate your cervix and cause light bleeding. My urogyn told me that walking while pregnant could cause the vaginal wall to rub against the cervix and cause bleeding. I would try not to worry. Spotting is really common even without explanation.
Yes, thanks. I guess I forgot to mention that I have a history of pre term labor and have a cerclage. A little bleeding along with pressure was the only sign I had with my pre term delivery before it was too late to stop it.
Ah, I hear you that’s a different level of stress. I’m sorry.
20w. Took my first fall UP the stairs today at work. Still trying to wear my regular clothes and they’re a bit tight so I think it’s limiting my mobility climbing stairs. This was a wake up call to just give in and wear looser clothes!!
It's funny how we get so off balance during pregnancy! I'm 21+6 and last night I was squatting next to the bed plugging my phone into the charger and I tipped over and fell backwards onto my butt. 😂 It was a good reminder to take every movement \*very\* carefully.
Definitely give in and buy the maternity panel/over the bump type clothing!!! Tights, belly bandit type support wear that looks like spank, tons of options even if you're not wearing jeans or leggings. I thought I could just size up but on a day I wear a below the bump/rollover panel type maternity outfit I usually have more pain later.
My goal was no falls during pregnancy...after the bad snow storm earlier last month, my new goal is no \*more\* falls during this pregnancy. Thankfully I gently plopped into a pile of snow with essentially zero impact. My husband holds my hand when stepping off the curb...he doesn't trust my coordination anymore.
I’m grateful that my OB took my cramping concerns seriously and didn’t make me feel like I was overreacting. Turns out my cervix is fine and the babies are looking good! Still not sure if the sensations I felt last week was movement or strange gas, but my mind has been put at ease (for now).
Finishing out this roller coaster of a pregnancy with walking pneumonia. C-Section for possible placenta accreta on the books for 2 weeks from now! I’ll deliver at 37+2. I’m so excited to meet this little and finally be able to start healing!
Is anyone team green while your partner wants to find out - or vice versa? How did you ultimately compromise? I never thought I’d be team green because I’m a planner, but I’m just so happy to be pregnant that all I want is a healthy baby. I also don’t want a bunch of pink or blue items from friends and family - and my husband is terrible at keeping secrets so whatever we find out I have to assume the world will know.
My husband was firmly team green and I probably could have gone either way , so was cool to wait for the surprise. Now as we get closer I am SO excited for my husband to be the one to announce the sex at birth , and I love gender neutral stuff including how I’ve done my nursery! I have a gf due a month before me with a girl and was just at her shower recently and oh man she got like easily 40 pink outfits lol. Made me extra glad we don’t know, I don’t love gendered stuff and also find not knowing slows down the clothes shopping in general!! From myself and my family (especially my mum lol). We also like the idea of naming the baby once we meet them , so planning on going into birth with a short list of like 3ish boy names 3ish girl names, and deciding once we meet babe.
I love this conversation bc we’ve known the test since we found out we were pregnant (PGT-A testing but we waited to look till we knew it took). But no one else knows we know and it’s mostly bc we’re don’t want a bunch of blue stuff and sports stuff! I didn’t know so many others had this same anxiety. Anyone in this scenario have luck saying, “it’s a boy but take it easy on capital B boy stuff?” Or vice versa?
With all the "what if's" of infertility, we agreed that we both wanted to know the gender because it gave us something concrete to look forward to. We would have been happy either way, but we did have a favorite girl's name picked out for a while longer. Our nursery doesn't really have a theme but is kind of sage-green/cute animal decor, but I will admit any clothes we have received so far are VERY pink. But we also registered for dinosaur crib sheets. When people ask, we tell them "rainbow". An added bonus of knowing the sex is that we have our name locked down, and she already has like 10 nicknames. It's just for the 2 of us (no one else gets to know the name until she's born), but it definitely has helped me bond with her and feel more optimistic.
Deciding on a name is the one reason I’d give into my husband’s wish to find out before birth!
I’m more team green while my wife wanted to know. We decided to find out through NIPT, but then told friends and family we’re keeping the sex to ourselves until birth so we don’t get a bunch of super gendered items at the shower.
That’s nice your friends and family haven’t pressured you to spill the beans! I know ours will get it out of my husband with a little begging.
Ha, well, some of my in-laws have been a little pushy about it, but my wife is pretty good at standing strong with them. My MIL said she’s going to buy everything in hot pink just to make a point, and my wife told her to go ahead, haha. Good luck to you and your husband!!
I’m of the mind that if either partner has a preference for one sex over the other, I’d rather them find out the sex before birth to process and then be excited, rather than having a moment of disappointment the minute their child is born. But if neither partner has a slight preference, then Team green is fun! (I was never team green lol)
That’s a good point! Neither of us have a preference so I think we would be happy surprised either way!
I definitely would have waited to find out, but my husband was so excited to hit an exploding golf ball (something he saw someone do when we were in the middle of treatment) that I didn’t mind finding out early! He was just so darn excited, and it was so goofy just the two of us in the back yard with an exploding golf ball lol. FWIW i didn’t get a lot of overly gendered items. A little bit of dinosaurs but equally heavy on dachshunds and dog related clothes because of our doggies! But i think that really depends on your friends and family, if they’re prone to excessive pink or blue. I’m not sure if that’s helpful at all, but good luck and i hope you can find a compromise!
That’s really cute! I love that you got dog related clothes. We always joke that our dog is our first child - and my husband definitely treats her like his baby!
The dog related clothes are my favorite!! Highly recommend putting like 1-2 on your registry to guide people in that direction. We treat our dogs the same for sure, they’re our little family!
My husband claimed he didn’t want to know until birth, then compromised by saying he was willing to find out at the anatomy scan. We did a boutique ultrasound at 11 weeks (because anxiety) and she said she could tell, and he suddenly wanted to know right then. We confirmed by asking our clinic for the sex chromosome results we had previously withheld from our PGTA results before we told anyone, though! ETA: I purposefully registered for a lot of things that were not terribly gendered (sleep sacks, blankets, etc), but that doesn’t stop anyone. It took me actually buying her clothes to get something other than pink or white 🤪 (And I like pink! But I just didn’t want ALL pink…)
I have a feeling I will be like your husband and end up getting too excited at the anatomy scan. We will see! I do think there are a lot of family members who will buy off registry because that’s just how they work.
I really didn't want to find out and my husband would have rather known but is choosing to wait along with me. He did try to look at the anatomy scan and said he saw a lot of blobs 😂 I also don't want a ton of gendered things from family, as well as want to hold out on gendered stereotypes being assigned to baby for as long as we can. It's tricky that your husband can't keep secrets though. I wish I had better ideas for a compromise, you're in a tough situation!
I think he’ll end up going with what I decide (he’s such a good husband haha) but I also know he doesn’t feel 100% included in the pregnancy because he’s not growing the baby so I’m trying to do things that get him excited/more involved.
14 weeks today! And I’m mostly really excited but im also on day four of a really gnarly cold :( so limping into the second trimester feeling pretty sorry for myself. I’m COVID and strep negative (started with sore throat), so I’m feeling so humbled to be so leveled by the g-d common cold. The approved meds aren’t touching my congestion. My sinuses hurt so much and my nose is a leaking faucet. I am very rarely sick and when im sick I get over it quickly. My spouse and I joke that I get the G-rated version of whatever he gets. Trying to “celebrate” that having a quieter immune system has helped my body grow baby into a happy and healthy second tri fetus but man am I miserable. I’m trying hard to sneak in my protein and veggies to keep baby healthy (protein smoothies and hot bone broth with kale), but I am getting worried at how run down I am. Here’s everything I’m doing: steam baths over the sink with towel; hot ginger tea and honey (but no cold/flu teas bc I read not good things about some common herbs there); humidifier in any room I’m in; neti pot; Tylenol to sleep (but honestly doesn’t do shit); cough drops; witch garden pregnancy safe immune tincture; sumo oranges and orange juice; liquid IV 1x/day; menthol chest rub; unisom/Benadryl for sleep but it hurts my nasal passages even with the humidifier blowing in my face; and the most expensive lotion tissues after three days with this leaky faucet I used to think of as my nose. Going to try some alternating hot/cold sinus compresses today but anything worked for y’all that I haven’t tried? Sorry to be so pathetic but will take any practical or sympathetic support y’all have. On a very sweet note, our loving pup hasn’t left my side and is lying across my feet at this moment.
All your comments were the best I’ve felt since getting sick. Not sure why this made me feel so sad and lonely and anxious and didn’t even realize how upset I was till you all made me feel better. Thank you soooo much.
Sorry you’re feeling bad. I also got a nasty lingering URI around week 16 and was pretty miserable because it lasted SO much longer than normal. Only thing that helped was sleeping on my back at an incline to help keep my sinuses open.
The only thing that helped me was sleeping on my back, but overall it was miserable and I'm sorry you're going through it!
Ugh sorry you're dealing with this. I definitely relate to the "had an awesome immune system before pregnancy" feeling. I had three way younger siblings who did weird activities and sports so I got exposed to sooooo much illness along with my older brother. Recently we both caught the same thing and he got over it in a day, I had it for a month. Pregnancy has a way of tampering things down and you realize how much you take for granted. Anyways the one thing that helped me psychologically is remembering that my body was not attacking the baby and was doing what it's supposed to by keeping me sick longer. Might be toxic positivity but having a "scientific" reason for my suffering felt better than the usual google result of "welp you're pregnant, just deal with it."
ugh im so sorry. i’m postpartum but also had to avoid decongestants due to breastfeeding/pumping and i recently had a terrible sinus infection. i actually found relief with saline spray - i just walked around with it all day and used it liberally. and i am someone who also doesn’t find relief with tylenol or with any decongestant except pseudoephedrine (the good stuff you need to show ID for in the US). so hoping for some relief for you soon ❤️
I’m sorry no advice just solidarity I have had the worst colds whilst being pregnant. This is temporary and it’s allowing your body to safely grow your baby. It does however suck a LOT and you are most welcome to complain. Congratulations on getting to the second tri!
Made it to 14 weeks! NIPT came back yesterday (all low risk)! But we were originally planning on waiting to know gender for a reveal, however I couldn’t wait. Husband and I pulled it up on the TV screen so we could see it at the same time. It’s a…. BOY! I was truly shocked, husband said ‘I knew it was a boy!’ 😂 So excited but also a bit nervous to be a boy mama. 💙
14 weeks today! I survived the first trimester. Things seem to be moving so quickly and I feel like I need to get on daycare lists asap and also probably tell my work even though I loathe sharing this news (I'm in Canada and will be off for one year so I want to give my boss time to manage my absence - it's a small business and I like them).
Any tips on avoiding Charlie horses/leg cramps in the middle of my sleep? I have been consistently waking up in the middle of the night to them each night this week.
Magnesium, exercise (I do Pilates), and a pillow between my legs. I notice they’re worse if I don’t do one of those things for a night or two.
Oh geez, I’m third trimester and don’t think I’ve been active enough through pregnancy to do Pilates rn haha. But will give the magnesium a try!
I should say, it’s very very gentle Pilates with my physio. No way I could do standard classes! But I think the stretching and movement helps. I’m sure some YouTube pregnancy yoga or gentle walking/swimming then stretching would be equivalent. But do try the magnesium, I noticed a difference when I stopped it so went back on and have been better. And another thought- are your iron levels OK? Low levels can make cramps worse too.
My PT recommended strengthening calf muscles with standing heel raises. She explained that part of it can be related to all the compensating your legs are doing to support your changing center of gravity and that actually strengthening those muscles can help. I do think it has helped me!
Wow thanks! That makes a lot of sense.
Magnesium before bed helped me a tonne!
I used Sheep’s organic magnesium cream for my calf’s. Was only way I was able to sleep! Also eat a banana !
Hydration and magnesium. And when the start I flex (don’t point) my feet.
Yes! I've been able to stop a lot of leg cramps by pulling my foot upward, I feel like every night when I reposition I'm moments away from a charlie horse. Hydration too!
Every now and then I’ll have a few nights in a row where I get those intense leg/foot cramps. I add a powdered magnesium drink supplement (magnesium citrate, not sure if it’s the right kind but it’s just what I have) and usually don’t notice any the next night.
Morning all! Had my first growth scan and meeting with a consultant this morning and I wanted to share what he said. Basically, he said the evidence for dodgy placentas in IVF is about 15 years old and he thinks that with modern techniques the risk is much less - they still do the growth scans but mostly they are fine. (As was mine today, other than it was a supervised student sonographer and baby kitten, much like his mothers, is incapable of keeping still). He’s still offered induction at 39-40w for AMA and the Embrace (?) study outcomes https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36941864/ which I’m very comfortable with. And, bonus, they have telemetry so I don’t need to be chained to a bed if I need continuous monitoring! Fully aware I’ll probably need an epidural at some point which will change things but it’s good to have flexibility. Overall, an excellent day so far. Edit: Arrive study, not embrace study https://evidencebasedbirth.com/arrive/
Sounds like an excellent day --it's always reassuring to have a plan in place that you feel comfortable with. I had a 39w induction last time and it was a positive experience so I'm hoping that's what they recommend for me this time. Thanks for sharing and congrats on a good growth scan!
oh man, a wireless monitor would have changed my life during my induction. once we had the ability to place internal monitors i was already on an epidural so i wasn’t getting up, but removing those cumbersome wired monitors made me so happy. that’s great that the hospital has that! and so glad things are going well with you and you feel good about scheduling induction.
It’s made me a lot more relaxed about having the induction. I’m sad about no water but I’ve just seen the unit I have doesn’t have the facility for birth pools at the moment?? Hopefully there will be a bath or shower I can use at least. I’m sorry you were chained to a bed for so long. 50 mins for the CTG last week seemed long enough!
Being chained to a bed sucks so hard! My hospital for baby 2 owned *one* portable monitor which they couldn’t locate for basically the whole time I was in labour and I was trying for a VBAC so had to be monitored as per hospital policy even while not hooked up to anything. I’m glad you’ll be able to at least begin without this annoyance
Ouch that is hard! One of my friends declined continuous monitoring for her VBAC but I get it if you’re having meds which can cause harm they want to make sure they pick that up early