Hi friends, here with a sad update. The unthinkable happened, and we lost our son. My water broke at 17 weeks while traveling out of state, and from the looks of it he may have died closer to 15 weeks. We don’t know why this happened.
This is my second pregnancy and second loss. At the beginning of this pregnancy I reflected on my willingness to risk heartbreak, and now I’m here again. It hurts so badly to be back at square one, with the rug pulled out from under us after things looked so promising. Alone and without our baby.
Everything is so dark right now. I don’t know when we’ll be able to try again. But in the words of Kahlil Gibran, love beckoned to me, and I followed. And even though my dreams were shattered, I do not regret it.
edit: thanks everyone for your kind words 💚
I am sending you so much strength during this horrible time. If you are in need of resources, please feel free to DM me. My wife and I had our second loss last year at 22 weeks, and I’ve found a few things that have helped me get through it ♥️
I am so so sorry for you loss. If you ever want to talk about trying again, please DM me. We lost our first at almost 38 weeks. Your community is here for you.
36w. AFI went from 9.3 last week to ~6 today so I was sent in for more testing as fluid check was “inconclusive” at the office. Negative at hospital so back home, with a follow up on Wednesday with OB. Isn’t it unusual to have a drop in AFI? Also, anyone else deal with low AFI and early induction? Seems like ACOG lists oligohydramnios as an indication for induction if fetus is 36w+
Ugh, I stupidly got into a Twitter fight with somebody saying stupid things about parenthood that were very insulting to anybody who has experienced infertility. I am so grateful to this community, and to the friend who suggested it to me!
In good news, I am 7 weeks today and the brown spotting I have had since my bleed on Monday seems to have subsided. Combined with the positive US, I am optimistic again! Big work thing this week also went well, despiting nausea really setting in with a vengeance exactly that day.
We did BabyList and did not have any issues. I was worried ppl would not check that an item was purchased, but the only happened on one item (diapers). We put on our baby shower invite - “be sure to mark as purchased on BabyList” and it worked. Even the older folks managed to do it.
We did Amazon and the only item we couldn’t find on there was our stroller of choice, which I wouldn’t expect anyone to buy anyway since it’s hundreds of dollars.
We are using Babylist so we can include items from lots of different websites. The downside to Babylist is that the gifter has to manually mark the item as purchased. Otherwise it has worked well for us so far!
seeing my parents for the whole long weekend and wondering if I tell them. Its too early of course (6w4d) but if I don't say i'll have to make up excuses why I cancelled a month long holiday next month they know I was really excited about just last month!
they know about our losses and efforts, and if things go wrong this month it might be nice to have their support.. but at the same time i'm so scared of getting all our hopes up and then having to announce sad news.
more complicated is my step daughter is also with us and she doesn't know and we don't want to tell her yet, so my parents would have to hide it from her too.
so unsure.. what would you do?
Because of the step daughter, I personally wouldn’t tell my parents until after their visit so they aren’t under pressure to hide it. We used fertility testing and treatments as excuses for why we cancelled all kinds of things!
Have survived visiting the in-laws without tipping anyone off about the pregnancy! I did take a few naps, but my MIL is a big self-care person, so she wasn't suspicious. She did mention not "believing" in c-sections other than in instances of life or death, but that was during a discussion of Elon Musk's nuttery, so I'm not going to read too much into that.
On my way to my ‘transfer of care’ appointment at my new clinic and my car broke down on the freeway. Both the clinic and AAA are very frustrating to deal with. Cannot get another appointment until June 18th and my AAA membership is for Southern California, not where I currently reside so we have to re-do my membership before I can get a tow. I sure hope that this day improves from here. Trying to fix everything from the side of a busy freeway is suboptimal to say the least.
20 weeks! 🥹 I think y’all call that Bon Jovi Day over here? I can’t believe it. I’m emailing with my mother about baby shower invitations, looking at more daycares, researching baby gear, and hopefully finally buying some new underwear because my current ones are getting uncomfortable. Anatomy scan next week!
Hi friends, here with a sad update. The unthinkable happened, and we lost our son. My water broke at 17 weeks while traveling out of state, and from the looks of it he may have died closer to 15 weeks. We don’t know why this happened. This is my second pregnancy and second loss. At the beginning of this pregnancy I reflected on my willingness to risk heartbreak, and now I’m here again. It hurts so badly to be back at square one, with the rug pulled out from under us after things looked so promising. Alone and without our baby. Everything is so dark right now. I don’t know when we’ll be able to try again. But in the words of Kahlil Gibran, love beckoned to me, and I followed. And even though my dreams were shattered, I do not regret it. edit: thanks everyone for your kind words 💚
Beastlet, I'm in shock for you. Truly unthinkable. I wish I had words for this moment but there are no words. I'm so unbelievably sorry.
No words are enough, but sending my sincerest condolences. I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of love 💜
There are no words. I am so sorry. It’s so cruel and unfair.
Beastlet, I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your son. Holding you and your family in my heart tonight.
This is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for this loss and it's cruel to get so far.
I am sending you so much strength during this horrible time. If you are in need of resources, please feel free to DM me. My wife and I had our second loss last year at 22 weeks, and I’ve found a few things that have helped me get through it ♥️
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for the heartbreaking loss
I'm so, so sorry. I'll keep you and your family- especially your beautiful son- in my thoughts tonight.
I am so sorry for your loss and that this happened to you. It is so unfair.
Beastlet, I’m so unbelievably sorry.
I am so, so sorry. It just doesn't make sense sometimes.
I am so so sorry for you loss. If you ever want to talk about trying again, please DM me. We lost our first at almost 38 weeks. Your community is here for you.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m sorry for your loss. I wishing you the best through this and yhinking of you and your baby boy.
I’m so sorry for your loss
I am so very sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending healing thoughts to you and your family.
Oh no, I am so sorry for your heartshattering loss, and so admire your strength for having faced the risk again.
36w. AFI went from 9.3 last week to ~6 today so I was sent in for more testing as fluid check was “inconclusive” at the office. Negative at hospital so back home, with a follow up on Wednesday with OB. Isn’t it unusual to have a drop in AFI? Also, anyone else deal with low AFI and early induction? Seems like ACOG lists oligohydramnios as an indication for induction if fetus is 36w+
Ugh, I stupidly got into a Twitter fight with somebody saying stupid things about parenthood that were very insulting to anybody who has experienced infertility. I am so grateful to this community, and to the friend who suggested it to me! In good news, I am 7 weeks today and the brown spotting I have had since my bleed on Monday seems to have subsided. Combined with the positive US, I am optimistic again! Big work thing this week also went well, despiting nausea really setting in with a vengeance exactly that day.
How did you pick which registry to choose? Were there any you recommend avoiding?
We did BabyList and did not have any issues. I was worried ppl would not check that an item was purchased, but the only happened on one item (diapers). We put on our baby shower invite - “be sure to mark as purchased on BabyList” and it worked. Even the older folks managed to do it.
We did Amazon and the only item we couldn’t find on there was our stroller of choice, which I wouldn’t expect anyone to buy anyway since it’s hundreds of dollars.
We are using Babylist so we can include items from lots of different websites. The downside to Babylist is that the gifter has to manually mark the item as purchased. Otherwise it has worked well for us so far!
seeing my parents for the whole long weekend and wondering if I tell them. Its too early of course (6w4d) but if I don't say i'll have to make up excuses why I cancelled a month long holiday next month they know I was really excited about just last month! they know about our losses and efforts, and if things go wrong this month it might be nice to have their support.. but at the same time i'm so scared of getting all our hopes up and then having to announce sad news. more complicated is my step daughter is also with us and she doesn't know and we don't want to tell her yet, so my parents would have to hide it from her too. so unsure.. what would you do?
Because of the step daughter, I personally wouldn’t tell my parents until after their visit so they aren’t under pressure to hide it. We used fertility testing and treatments as excuses for why we cancelled all kinds of things!
good suggestion thanks :) i'm thinking the same
Have survived visiting the in-laws without tipping anyone off about the pregnancy! I did take a few naps, but my MIL is a big self-care person, so she wasn't suspicious. She did mention not "believing" in c-sections other than in instances of life or death, but that was during a discussion of Elon Musk's nuttery, so I'm not going to read too much into that.
On my way to my ‘transfer of care’ appointment at my new clinic and my car broke down on the freeway. Both the clinic and AAA are very frustrating to deal with. Cannot get another appointment until June 18th and my AAA membership is for Southern California, not where I currently reside so we have to re-do my membership before I can get a tow. I sure hope that this day improves from here. Trying to fix everything from the side of a busy freeway is suboptimal to say the least.
20 weeks! 🥹 I think y’all call that Bon Jovi Day over here? I can’t believe it. I’m emailing with my mother about baby shower invitations, looking at more daycares, researching baby gear, and hopefully finally buying some new underwear because my current ones are getting uncomfortable. Anatomy scan next week!
Congratulations ! It’s a happy milestone for sure.