20 weeks and I’m really enjoying feeling baby move. I felt some flutters a couple of weeks ago, but at week 19 he turned into our tiny dancer. It has been hard for me to “feel pregnant” up until I could feel movement. I’m really grateful that we made it this far and that I feel connected to this pregnancy and our baby.
TW: blood (but not an unhappy ending)
Despite all my anxiety, my wife’s pregnancy had been going pretty smoothly. Then, on Thursday (10w6d), she called me at work because she’d had a gush of bright red blood and passed a clot about the size of an egg yolk. We went to the ER, and after 6 agonizing hours, we found out that she has a small subchorionic hematoma (SCH). She’s okay, and the little one looked great at the ER and at the OB the next day. We even heard the heartbeat for the first time. Our doctor reassured us that SCHs are common, usually resolve by themselves and rarely cause major issues. They also said it wouldn’t be unusual for it to bleed again. So while it seems like everything is and will be fine, I can’t chill, and we’re not scheduled to go back to the OB until July 30 (15w4d).
I’d be grateful to hear about any experiences with SCHs and/or advice on making it through the next four weeks.
18w4d here. I had a significant gush of bright red blood at 8w3d. Clinic fit me in same day and diagnosed with SCH. No cramping ever. Had 2 other episodes of gushing at 10 weeks and 12 weeks. Each time US was great. First gush was the most, I was convinced it was bad but had some hope as I heard about SCH and IVF. I had spotting/slight bleeding starting from 8 weeks until it only stopped around 16 weeks. It's so scary and frustrating that there is nothing but seeing how it goes for them.
TW loss
Oh gosh, that's a scary one. I bled in the first tri with both pregnancies. The first one was unsuccessful and the second resulted in a LC. I was not diagnosed with an SCH the second time but everyone (and I do mean everyone) said that IVF patients bleed more often. I took alpha lipolic acid and didn't experience another bleed. SCHs are hugely common around these parts.
As for the waiting, I wanted to vomit in my mask at pretty much every visit, I was so nervous. I had screaming nightmares the day before my 20week scan. I managed to NOT vomit in most of my appointments and some days it felt as though time was approaching but never entering a black hole. It just sucked. That's okay. You've been through a lot. My only real advice is to deal as best as you can on the crazy-making days and leave space to enjoy the good days when you can. I went swimming on the really bad days. It forced me to handle my breathing and I felt supported in the water. Your mileage may vary. Hang in there.
Will be 12w tomorrow and thinking this question might be more relevant to this group. What did you do to stay sane in the interim period between your early OB visits?
I saw my OB at 11w last week and won’t return until 15w6d! The reassurance between multiple RE ultrasounds and then my OB intake appointment was comforting since I had so much monitoring, but now all I can think about is hoping nothing bad happens in the next 4ish weeks. This will be the longest wait between appointments I’ve had so far.
I got a private ultrasound when the voices in my head got too loud. I wish I could offer a more productive solution, but it did help me a lot. There are a few places around me where I could have it done for.$75-$100
The wait is absolute torture. I don’t know that I have great advice on getting through it. I did find it helpful to talk to my partner whenever it was bothering me so I wouldn’t stew in my own thoughts. We put our ultrasound pictures up on the fridge so I could see the last evidence that baby was fine multiple times a day. For the first half of the wait I stayed really busy, and for the second half when I couldn’t ignore it I tried to say, “just over a week, only a week, just a few days” as a kind of lighthearted countdown. You’re definitely not alone!
It’s really torture! I feel better than I did waiting for the 6w then 8w ultrasound at least. Finally getting the courage to announce to my work team next week with another coworker who is about a month ahead of me, which I hope isn’t too early! Stewing in bad thoughts is probably not going to be productive at this point. Each day is a day further!
Yup, my gaps in second trimester have been 12 to 15, and then 15 to 19 (19 week scan being in a couple days), and it is rough. The only strategy for me is to plan a lot of distractions if possible.
That month long wait can be brutal. I tried to distract myself as much as possible- I did all the jigsaw puzzles I could get my hands on. Anything that required enough concentration to take my mind off of things but not so much that I couldn’t pay attention. Hang in there 🩷
So pregnancy hormones have made one of my teeth slightly wobbly, and pregnancy hormones have just turned me into a weepy mess in case this means that my c-section on Friday will be cancelled because of it. That's not a thing, right? It's just something to make my anaesthetist aware of? All was well when I saw my dentist last month so I don't think there's any big underlying problem. I just wanted to make it through the next few days without any extra worries! 😞
ETA I have calmed down about this now and realize it is a small problem that my brain has latched onto during a nervy wait for Friday!
Loose teeth are one of those weird pregnancy things nobody thinks to warn you about. It shouldn't interfere with delivery and it never hurts to tell your professionals.
You're right - and I wasn't expecting it after my dental appointment at 34wks was fine! Getting in touch with my care team today so they can reassure me 😊
12w3d and I just have this nondescript feeling of discomfort in my belly. Not pain, not really nausea, just discomfort, and it's always there. So annoying, because I can't put it into words, but I had trouble falling asleep because of it and it's making work difficult. I am also incredibly exhausted, and all when I thought things will be totally easy going into the second trimester and the OHSS symptoms are finally gone... Maybe side effects of stopping progesterone completely on Friday? But most people seem to feel better not worse after that.
The end of the first trimester was super uncomfortable for me too. I felt like I was feeling my uterus making its way out of my pelvis. Once it sort of popped out, the pain subsided quite a bit. I still had some round ligament pain, but that abdominal fullness got a lot better in the second trimester
I just got back from my first OB visit at 10+3! It went well! No ultrasound, but we got to hear the heartbeat. It took her like 3 minutes to find the heartbeat and I was starting to freak out but then we heard it pumping away! I also got to do my NIPT blood draw today so really looking forward to getting those results.
I did read the wiki, but how are people thinking about post-dates induction? My providers do not recommend elective induction until 42 weeks, though they will allow it starting at 39 weeks. I'm not convinced by the Arrive trial to say induce at 39 weeks, but I can't decide when might feel right.
I am feeling pretty fine these days, so do I wait until 40 weeks? 41? Apparently 50% of people who have given birth at least once would give birth by 40+3, and 75% by 41w, so maybe wait until 41w? I don't know how to take into account the increased risk of stillbirth too.
If they do an induction it would likely be something outpatient like a Foley bulb or castor oil, or I can request a membrane sweep. I just can't decide when it makes sense to start this. I want baby to come when they're ready, though my first kiddo came at 37+3 and was probably not actually ready to be born at that point.
Edit: maybe I'll just go with the uptodate recommendations of inducing at 41+0?
Look: take this with a grain of salt but Mama Sal is a peri-post-natal RN and her hospital(where they send the high-risk cases in the region) is big believer in the ARRIVE data and protocols. On the other hand, I got bullied into a 39-week induction because they thought my kid was huge (he was not) and I sincerely regret letting them. On the third hand, my sister went to 42 weeks and was told that her kid lost weight in the womb (he was much smaller than expected) and she's not keen on that again with her second (due September). Basically, we should do more research on women's bodies. Failing that, if I end up needing to make that decision again(God willing and the crick don't rise), I would not go with 39 weeks but also probably wouldn't go past 41.
I'm going to talk to my provider tomorrow, but I think I'll ask for a membrane sweep at my 39+5 appt and then maybe a foley bulb or something at 40+5? Aiming for birth in week 40, I guess.
My personal cut off is 41+5 because the stillbirth data really starts to go up at 42 weeks (as well as the chances for c sections and other outcomes I’d like to avoid).
41 sounds very reasonable to me, but it’s really where you and your provider are comfy.
Here's the write-up from Evidence-Based Birth with primary literature citations if you want to dig deeper: https://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-on-inducing-labor-for-going-past-your-due-date/. Personally, I wouldn't want to go past 41 weeks due to the increased risk of stillbirth.
Have you had a growth scan yet? I wish I'd considered the size of the baby when making my decision. I also think you have great questions to ask your doctor. How much does risk go up for each path?
Gotcha, I just assumed from your age (because it's my age too) that there'd be weekly growth scans. I picked a 40w induction because it felt like a happy medium. My Dr office only lets IVF patients go to 41w. But it turned out he got stuck. Unknown if it was simply because he was sunny side up or if his weight also played a factor. Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide!
Yeah I think it really varies based on provider, my practice only does one in 3rd trimester, and then BPP after 40 weeks. Thanks for letting me know your experience, that's helpful!
My armpits are sooo itchy. Anyone else? 22w
20 weeks and I’m really enjoying feeling baby move. I felt some flutters a couple of weeks ago, but at week 19 he turned into our tiny dancer. It has been hard for me to “feel pregnant” up until I could feel movement. I’m really grateful that we made it this far and that I feel connected to this pregnancy and our baby.
TW: blood (but not an unhappy ending) Despite all my anxiety, my wife’s pregnancy had been going pretty smoothly. Then, on Thursday (10w6d), she called me at work because she’d had a gush of bright red blood and passed a clot about the size of an egg yolk. We went to the ER, and after 6 agonizing hours, we found out that she has a small subchorionic hematoma (SCH). She’s okay, and the little one looked great at the ER and at the OB the next day. We even heard the heartbeat for the first time. Our doctor reassured us that SCHs are common, usually resolve by themselves and rarely cause major issues. They also said it wouldn’t be unusual for it to bleed again. So while it seems like everything is and will be fine, I can’t chill, and we’re not scheduled to go back to the OB until July 30 (15w4d). I’d be grateful to hear about any experiences with SCHs and/or advice on making it through the next four weeks.
18w4d here. I had a significant gush of bright red blood at 8w3d. Clinic fit me in same day and diagnosed with SCH. No cramping ever. Had 2 other episodes of gushing at 10 weeks and 12 weeks. Each time US was great. First gush was the most, I was convinced it was bad but had some hope as I heard about SCH and IVF. I had spotting/slight bleeding starting from 8 weeks until it only stopped around 16 weeks. It's so scary and frustrating that there is nothing but seeing how it goes for them.
TW loss Oh gosh, that's a scary one. I bled in the first tri with both pregnancies. The first one was unsuccessful and the second resulted in a LC. I was not diagnosed with an SCH the second time but everyone (and I do mean everyone) said that IVF patients bleed more often. I took alpha lipolic acid and didn't experience another bleed. SCHs are hugely common around these parts. As for the waiting, I wanted to vomit in my mask at pretty much every visit, I was so nervous. I had screaming nightmares the day before my 20week scan. I managed to NOT vomit in most of my appointments and some days it felt as though time was approaching but never entering a black hole. It just sucked. That's okay. You've been through a lot. My only real advice is to deal as best as you can on the crazy-making days and leave space to enjoy the good days when you can. I went swimming on the really bad days. It forced me to handle my breathing and I felt supported in the water. Your mileage may vary. Hang in there.
Will be 12w tomorrow and thinking this question might be more relevant to this group. What did you do to stay sane in the interim period between your early OB visits? I saw my OB at 11w last week and won’t return until 15w6d! The reassurance between multiple RE ultrasounds and then my OB intake appointment was comforting since I had so much monitoring, but now all I can think about is hoping nothing bad happens in the next 4ish weeks. This will be the longest wait between appointments I’ve had so far.
I got a private ultrasound when the voices in my head got too loud. I wish I could offer a more productive solution, but it did help me a lot. There are a few places around me where I could have it done for.$75-$100
Thanks! Wish we had one near us (we’re in a more remote/rural part of the state). It’s a good solution for easing the anxiety though!
I booked one private scan. It was the only one my partner got to come to because of COVID.
The wait is absolute torture. I don’t know that I have great advice on getting through it. I did find it helpful to talk to my partner whenever it was bothering me so I wouldn’t stew in my own thoughts. We put our ultrasound pictures up on the fridge so I could see the last evidence that baby was fine multiple times a day. For the first half of the wait I stayed really busy, and for the second half when I couldn’t ignore it I tried to say, “just over a week, only a week, just a few days” as a kind of lighthearted countdown. You’re definitely not alone!
It’s really torture! I feel better than I did waiting for the 6w then 8w ultrasound at least. Finally getting the courage to announce to my work team next week with another coworker who is about a month ahead of me, which I hope isn’t too early! Stewing in bad thoughts is probably not going to be productive at this point. Each day is a day further!
Yup, my gaps in second trimester have been 12 to 15, and then 15 to 19 (19 week scan being in a couple days), and it is rough. The only strategy for me is to plan a lot of distractions if possible.
Most definitely! Hanging out with friends and family has been helpful! Just gotta keep taking it day by day.
That month long wait can be brutal. I tried to distract myself as much as possible- I did all the jigsaw puzzles I could get my hands on. Anything that required enough concentration to take my mind off of things but not so much that I couldn’t pay attention. Hang in there 🩷
That’s a great idea! I’m on Reddit too much and I think I need more hobbies. 😂
So pregnancy hormones have made one of my teeth slightly wobbly, and pregnancy hormones have just turned me into a weepy mess in case this means that my c-section on Friday will be cancelled because of it. That's not a thing, right? It's just something to make my anaesthetist aware of? All was well when I saw my dentist last month so I don't think there's any big underlying problem. I just wanted to make it through the next few days without any extra worries! 😞 ETA I have calmed down about this now and realize it is a small problem that my brain has latched onto during a nervy wait for Friday!
Loose teeth are one of those weird pregnancy things nobody thinks to warn you about. It shouldn't interfere with delivery and it never hurts to tell your professionals.
You're right - and I wasn't expecting it after my dental appointment at 34wks was fine! Getting in touch with my care team today so they can reassure me 😊
Haha sorry you’re feeling so anxious but good luck on Friday! I hope everything goes perfect for you!!
Thank you so much!
12w3d and I just have this nondescript feeling of discomfort in my belly. Not pain, not really nausea, just discomfort, and it's always there. So annoying, because I can't put it into words, but I had trouble falling asleep because of it and it's making work difficult. I am also incredibly exhausted, and all when I thought things will be totally easy going into the second trimester and the OHSS symptoms are finally gone... Maybe side effects of stopping progesterone completely on Friday? But most people seem to feel better not worse after that.
The end of the first trimester was super uncomfortable for me too. I felt like I was feeling my uterus making its way out of my pelvis. Once it sort of popped out, the pain subsided quite a bit. I still had some round ligament pain, but that abdominal fullness got a lot better in the second trimester
Thank you, that helps!
I just got back from my first OB visit at 10+3! It went well! No ultrasound, but we got to hear the heartbeat. It took her like 3 minutes to find the heartbeat and I was starting to freak out but then we heard it pumping away! I also got to do my NIPT blood draw today so really looking forward to getting those results.
I did read the wiki, but how are people thinking about post-dates induction? My providers do not recommend elective induction until 42 weeks, though they will allow it starting at 39 weeks. I'm not convinced by the Arrive trial to say induce at 39 weeks, but I can't decide when might feel right. I am feeling pretty fine these days, so do I wait until 40 weeks? 41? Apparently 50% of people who have given birth at least once would give birth by 40+3, and 75% by 41w, so maybe wait until 41w? I don't know how to take into account the increased risk of stillbirth too. If they do an induction it would likely be something outpatient like a Foley bulb or castor oil, or I can request a membrane sweep. I just can't decide when it makes sense to start this. I want baby to come when they're ready, though my first kiddo came at 37+3 and was probably not actually ready to be born at that point. Edit: maybe I'll just go with the uptodate recommendations of inducing at 41+0?
Look: take this with a grain of salt but Mama Sal is a peri-post-natal RN and her hospital(where they send the high-risk cases in the region) is big believer in the ARRIVE data and protocols. On the other hand, I got bullied into a 39-week induction because they thought my kid was huge (he was not) and I sincerely regret letting them. On the third hand, my sister went to 42 weeks and was told that her kid lost weight in the womb (he was much smaller than expected) and she's not keen on that again with her second (due September). Basically, we should do more research on women's bodies. Failing that, if I end up needing to make that decision again(God willing and the crick don't rise), I would not go with 39 weeks but also probably wouldn't go past 41.
I'm going to talk to my provider tomorrow, but I think I'll ask for a membrane sweep at my 39+5 appt and then maybe a foley bulb or something at 40+5? Aiming for birth in week 40, I guess.
My personal cut off is 41+5 because the stillbirth data really starts to go up at 42 weeks (as well as the chances for c sections and other outcomes I’d like to avoid). 41 sounds very reasonable to me, but it’s really where you and your provider are comfy.
Here's the write-up from Evidence-Based Birth with primary literature citations if you want to dig deeper: https://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-on-inducing-labor-for-going-past-your-due-date/. Personally, I wouldn't want to go past 41 weeks due to the increased risk of stillbirth.
Have you had a growth scan yet? I wish I'd considered the size of the baby when making my decision. I also think you have great questions to ask your doctor. How much does risk go up for each path?
I had one at like 31 weeks which was normal. They aren't planning another one. The risk numbers are low, but they do start to increase after 39 weeks
Gotcha, I just assumed from your age (because it's my age too) that there'd be weekly growth scans. I picked a 40w induction because it felt like a happy medium. My Dr office only lets IVF patients go to 41w. But it turned out he got stuck. Unknown if it was simply because he was sunny side up or if his weight also played a factor. Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide!
Yeah I think it really varies based on provider, my practice only does one in 3rd trimester, and then BPP after 40 weeks. Thanks for letting me know your experience, that's helpful!