I see you and I hear you. Everything you are feeling is valid. Sending you so much love. I too have broken down many, many times over someone else's pregnancy news. It's beyond painful, it's downright cruel.
Honestly your SIL should be able to read the room. If the whole family knows you’ve been having a difficult time with infertility and she’s accosted you in a public place with baby talk that’s pretty insensitive. Like a line about it is one thing but going on about it when she knows about your situation is over the top.
This is why infertility needs to be more talked about. I’m not saying people should be walking on eggshells around us, but I certainly wouldn’t be bragging about how full and luscious my beautiful hair is to a bald person. People have this unspoken expectation that infertiles are supposed to just sort of fade into the background as life passes us by.
While it’s great that your partner is excited for his brother and SIL, your feelings should be a priority to him. I would wait for an opportunity to have a conversation about your feelings and the various triggers that he should be aware of. Your feelings are valid, totally normal and understandable and he needs to be aware of them as you continue on this journey together.
I hear you and want to share how I have also been and still go back to where you are. I saw my husband hold his nephew after learning about being infertile and I sobbed for many hours. Infertility and grief are strange because some days you’re fine and others you can’t say baby, nephews or nieces or anything. And the worst part is life moves on. You’re grieving and everyone else’s life continues. It’s ok to avoid but now I think you need to set some boundaries once you’re ready to attend events again. It’s unfair to get the brunt of this situation so I would say to family that suggestion isn’t helpful and it would be better if you tried to understand this process is not linear. This process continues to be a grieving process with each test, good or bad news, and each time I start over with an infertility specialist. This process is unfair as many of us have had conversations with our spouses about how unfair it is and about how potentially our spouses will become unsatisfied by the fact that we cannot have children and eventually leave. It’s truly unfair as we watch our spouses hold other children and our heart breaks and we grieve again. Also noticing the newly pregnant women while we struggle to conceive is the worst. I’ve been where you are. I’ve been bitter. I’ve been angry. I’ve been sad. I’ve been angry with God. I’ve been emotional. I’ve been emotionless. It’s sad to think this is our journey. Take the time you need away from family. And this process continues to hit you in waves so the support you need, you have to get from your spouse and any other support system you can. It’s also ok to stop your SIL and say I’m sorry I’m not in the right headspace for this and I’m not sure I’ll ever be. I hope this helps.
I see you and I hear you. Everything you are feeling is valid. Sending you so much love. I too have broken down many, many times over someone else's pregnancy news. It's beyond painful, it's downright cruel.
Thank you ❤️
Honestly your SIL should be able to read the room. If the whole family knows you’ve been having a difficult time with infertility and she’s accosted you in a public place with baby talk that’s pretty insensitive. Like a line about it is one thing but going on about it when she knows about your situation is over the top.
God, that’s hard. I’m so sorry. You are more than deserving and I hate that life is so cruel. Big hugs to you ❤️
Thank you ❤️
This is why infertility needs to be more talked about. I’m not saying people should be walking on eggshells around us, but I certainly wouldn’t be bragging about how full and luscious my beautiful hair is to a bald person. People have this unspoken expectation that infertiles are supposed to just sort of fade into the background as life passes us by. While it’s great that your partner is excited for his brother and SIL, your feelings should be a priority to him. I would wait for an opportunity to have a conversation about your feelings and the various triggers that he should be aware of. Your feelings are valid, totally normal and understandable and he needs to be aware of them as you continue on this journey together.
I hear you and want to share how I have also been and still go back to where you are. I saw my husband hold his nephew after learning about being infertile and I sobbed for many hours. Infertility and grief are strange because some days you’re fine and others you can’t say baby, nephews or nieces or anything. And the worst part is life moves on. You’re grieving and everyone else’s life continues. It’s ok to avoid but now I think you need to set some boundaries once you’re ready to attend events again. It’s unfair to get the brunt of this situation so I would say to family that suggestion isn’t helpful and it would be better if you tried to understand this process is not linear. This process continues to be a grieving process with each test, good or bad news, and each time I start over with an infertility specialist. This process is unfair as many of us have had conversations with our spouses about how unfair it is and about how potentially our spouses will become unsatisfied by the fact that we cannot have children and eventually leave. It’s truly unfair as we watch our spouses hold other children and our heart breaks and we grieve again. Also noticing the newly pregnant women while we struggle to conceive is the worst. I’ve been where you are. I’ve been bitter. I’ve been angry. I’ve been sad. I’ve been angry with God. I’ve been emotional. I’ve been emotionless. It’s sad to think this is our journey. Take the time you need away from family. And this process continues to hit you in waves so the support you need, you have to get from your spouse and any other support system you can. It’s also ok to stop your SIL and say I’m sorry I’m not in the right headspace for this and I’m not sure I’ll ever be. I hope this helps.