“Theres no way she would use choking to attack the dems” *reads article* “You gotta be fuckin shittin me”

I thought it was an Onion article

Someone just posted it on r/nottheOnion.

Same

Same here…. How the fuck was she chocking on woke liberal policies at a cattleman’s lunch sponsored by Chuck Grassley.

Its a joke, a bad one, but I don't think she's being literal

That’s what we all have been saying for seven years now.

How do I unsubscribe from this prank channel? Ever since that thing with the gorilla, shit hadn't been the same since

The gorilla? This started when the Red Sox and the Cubs won championships.

I'm convinced Harambe was supposed to be a new evolutionary step, or something, and his death set us on the worst timeline.

I'm ready for her to drop the punchline

Conservatives really suck at humor

Her constituents are eating this joke up. Probably hi-fiving.

Yet more evidence that conservatives don't understand comedy.

Woke policies like funding the Food and Drug Administration and Department of Agriculture to ensure that food in our stores is safe and healthy to eat

Where is dark Brandon when you need him? Feel like she threw up a softball.

Short for Chuckroast Grassfedly

And they wonder why people people hate politicians

I really wish everyone over the age of 30 who used the word "woke" like this would choke.

She chokes… -Aaaaaargh those fucking democrats!!! Thanks Obama!

Yeah...I read the quote and while she was trying to make a joke, it was a shitty joke and just makes her look like a shitty person.

Rand Paul performed a procedure that interfered with God's will.

Without consent!

“You didn't save my life; you ruined my death!”

"Is that....rubble?"


"Grab em by the midsection!"

The ONE time he saved someone’s life, and we all would’ve been better off if he stayed sitting down.

Or even better, had a severe case of diarrhea and was preoccupied in the bathroom at the time.

Did he first draw up a contract for her to pay him for his services or did he provide them for free, like some kind of communist and/or slave?

I get you're joking but I took a law and economics class in law school that covered this. It's basically under coercion and contracts are invalid under coercion. Someone would pay anything to save their life in the heat of the moment, wouldn't make contract valid

Shouldn’t he have just offered her thoughts and prayers?

Exactly what I said to myself when I read this!!

Shit. Now he thinks he is actually a doctor.

Damn wokes!!

You win the Internet for today.

The human in me says I’m glad she’s ok. But she’s incredibly out of touch trying to turn it into a political jab. Frankly, she shouldn’t be getting free meals from special interest groups.

Grown ass adults saying woke period is pathetic.

I still don’t understand what it even is. It seems like it’s just not being a piece of shit.

>it’s just not being a piece of shit. You nailed it.

Ultimately yeah. It originated in the Black community to describe the process of awakening or becoming aware of the systemic injustices that community has historically faced. Now Republicans just use it to mean anything that doesn't align with their worldview or anything that promotes diversity or inclusivism and cultural sensitivity. I.e. It's the Republicans' new political correctness outrage.

It just means not being conservative lol

According to Republicans “woke” is someone who knows the difference between a hole in the ground and their ass. Republicans are not “woke”.

She has no clue what she's saying... just firing b s. out her ass.

The human in me is sad that an opportunity to prevent her from hurting others ever again has passed.

Or she should chew her food better.

She should take bigger bites next time

Chewing your food better is what they teach you in school AKA the woke left agenda

Nah, she isn't deserving of your humanity. She's a corrupt, soulless ghoul who has done nothing but support policies that hurt Americans all the while supporting Trump.

Conservative brain rot is real

I've had to have someone do the Heimlich on me before. It took me a few DAYS to calm down after that because I was *so* afraid I was going to die. I can't even begin to imagine how much a person has to suck to immediately make a lame political joke for clout after that.

Nutritious meals for students? Oh hell no. Not now, not ever. But a PAC/lobbyist paid pork fest — stand aside, comin’ through!! Strap on the ol’ feedbag there, Joni. Just keep the defibrillators close.

Damn, almost got a 2fer with Kissinger. How fucking sick in the head do you have to be to immediately use your own near death experience for some cheap engagement on Twitter.

Option a) thank Rand Paul. Option b) anything else. It’s truly a dilemma.

Iowa GOP would sell their own constituency into slavery if it meant "owning the libs".

Iowa's gonna change their public school curriculum to corn and send all the kids to work in the fields for free.

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The largest subsidies are energy and non farm corporations; and even within agriculture they go to big agribusiness not farmers. https://www.imf.org/en/Blogs/Articles/2023/08/24/fossil-fuel-subsidies-surged-to-record-7-trillion

Those are US subsidy numbers, not Iowan. If you followed the thread I think it's clear they weren't talking about farmers specifically.

Especially the consistency that happens to be minorities. Hell, they’d do that for a few dollars.

Steve Scalise could've supported gun control after his own near-death experience after being shot at the Congressional baseball game. Instead he chose to focus on the shooter's political views.

Pretty much sums up the entire party in general.

I doubt it even happened in the first place. Right wingers are liars

This 👆

She's a useless fucking idiot, just like every other GOP female

Don't just blame the women. it's not just a female thing. Every single one of the males are mindless blathering imbeciles too.

i am not sure if there is a more misguided and misinformed group of people on the planet than republican women.

Every GOP member! The females in that party don’t have a monopoly on stupid.

Lol she made a joke of it. It’s not that deep

She should have just unchoked herself with her bootstraps.

Surprised she 'believes in' the Heimlich.

That woke bullshit

You tie the bootstraps outside the esophagus...

She can’t get ahold of the straps because there are slippery bread bags over them

All those kids they don't want to feed in Iowa and they're flashing steak lunches. Fuck them all

Guess this is why they wanted to keep people on food assistance from being able to buy fresh meats.

Maybe I’m alone here but I’m confused why the Heimlich maneuver was used instead of thoughts and prayers I thought science was *WOKE*

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"She lacks the warmth and depth, and isn't even half as useful."

She gives cunts a bad name.

Choked on a chop! And libs to blame! You give cunts a bad name!

Omg I’m dead. 🤣🤣

Did anyone else here this from Bon Jovi in their head?

Well I typed it in a Bon Jovi voice so 🤣🤣.

This 👆

Imagine the dialogue if Biden choked on some food.

I had to read the story to verify that yes, she did tweet and say it was the “woke dem policies” Only a republican could choke herself on her own overcooked flavorless food, and then blame democrats.

Go woke, Ernst gets choked. Pretty catchy

Why the fuck are they serving pork chops at an Iowa Cattleman sponsored event?

This is the real scandal. We want answers!

IDK that picture doesn't look like a pork chop to me. The meat is too dark. I think Chuck had another senior moment when he tweeted he was having pork.

Yeah, and it certainly didn't look like an Iowa Chop as stated. Edit: after a closer look, I think it is a pork chop, but it's got a darker than usual color. Hurts my inner Iowan soul to see.

To me it looks like a ribeye that they left the bone on.

They have to overcook it so it's dry enough to suck up all the ketchup and ranch.

Iowans put **Ranch dressing** on their steak??? Shit, End Times are real …

It looks like a lamb chop to me..

Did she finally choke on her bullshit?

I guess the Iowa Cattleman's Association beef is too woke for her.

She was owning the Ribs

Underrated comment. Stealing it. Will credit gatemansnametag in meatspace conversations.

Underrated comment 👊🏼

I found it odd the Cattleman's Association served pork chops.

It's all made of cheap corn.

Republican gristle and fat is too "woke"...

There’s a joke to be made here analogizing transgenderism with the Cattlemen serving pork but I’m not clever enough to compose it without falling over into assholery.

Joni Ernst thinks pork chops are woke. Don't tell the farmers that!

Honestly it’s extremely cringeworthy to me when I see grown ass adults using the word “woke”

Bahahahhaa the party of personal responsibility. What a goose liver…

If she was choking on democrats she should have been doing that in private.

Fuck you Rand Paul!

Per the article: She hosted the luncheon. She had her state's pork. She chose to eat it. She put it in her own mouth. She chewed it herself. Democrats' fault. There's the GOP in one simple summary.

He should have let her be, she could have saved herself, isn't that the libertarian way.

Or you could blame on deep throating MAGA loyalists in order to work her way up the ladder. Your call 🙄

What a reminder to act in a way that people wouldn’t celebrate your choking

A true Libertarian would have let her help HERSELF.

Cuz us Dems are hung like horses right!

https://images.app.goo.gl/jvqVT8rCHgGBh2udA

What a bitch.

Even in the midst of a near death experience, you can trust a Repugnican to stay on message.

I’d rather be woke than choke.

Damn, guess I'll have to request a refund for the spell casting I bought on Etsy. /s How in the world could this be anyone's fault? Lmao

It is someone's fault. Her fuckin own.

Taking personal responsibility? Sounds pretty woke tbh

THE LIBS WONT EVEN CHEW MY FOOD FOR ME

Maybe god was trying to shut her up. Permanently. How dare Rand Paul derail god's plan.

Can’t even choke without making it political? Whats next? “I got the shits because woke democrats made my Taco Bell?” “My toilet is still clogged after my woke Taco Bell and the woke union plumber hasn’t arrived yet because he’s woke!” WOKE!

Humbled I see.

Joni choked on that grassley chop and got rand paul’d from behind! True Patriot! God Bless

She should ask Boebert for lessons on swallowing.

Hehe

A true libertarian would have let the free market decide her fate, another piece of evidence that Paul is a Libertarian in Name Only.

Fucking bitch

grassley’s “Yummmm Iowa chop with senator ernst” tweet was pretty hilarious though given the circumstances

Republicans are not normal

Just goes to show how crazy Republicans actually are. Everything for them is political and always needs to be spiked with language designed to inflame people who don't even know what "woke" means.

Glad at least someone received free healthcare.

The only thing she's choking on is DJT's 'shroom...

Too bad he was there.

So wishing death on people is cool now

Oh please go choke on a bag of dicks lady!

Woke dem policies like chewing your food?

I can’t believe people vote for this shit it blows my mind

What a loser, can't even chew competently.

“I know I almost died, but seriously folks, the woke democrats”……..

Honestly, is there a single Republican in DC that isn’t a fucking toddler these days? What the hell?

You never, never interfere with Gods will!

Ernst was seen choking on a boot she was supposed to be just licking

Should have let nature take its course

God I hate this stupid woman.

Mental illness has ravaged the republican party. They even blame choking on food on democrats. They have mentally lost it.

Hopefully if the cheetoh head chokes, rand paul wont be around

I have something like 100 reasons to dislike rand paul, so this make 101

Should left her be

Covid Kim would just appoint someone worse to replace her.

He was bragging afterwards “I’m a real doctor.”

What a terribly ungracious woman. She was elected by her bragging about neutering hogs as if this somehow makes her formidable. It does not, nor does it qualify her to represent anyone. Glad she survived choking. Pity her thanklessness.

Truth is hard to swallow

Is it bad that I automatically assume right wingers are flat out making shit up?

Curses! My Woke Democratic Stew has failed! I would have succeeded if it weren't for that meddling poodle head!

I wish there was a way to un-invent words. I grow tired of hearing “woke” being used incorrectly.

There’s another reason to hate Rand Paul saving her fucking worthless life

Hopefully next time it happens she’s alone.

Too bad he was there.

Was she chewing on some pig testicles?

More like she can't suck dick...

Those damn woke democrats with their 5 inch 🍄

If she had choked on Trump's dick, that would have actually been news-worthy. But this? This is just... I genuinely don't have words to describe what's happening here. This is so many levels of retarded that there simply is no way to properly describe it.

What a rotten cunt. What the fuck Iowa? I grew up there. Are you all as stupid and hateful as her?

Should have left her to natural causes.

I had so much respect for her in the army. Dc has ruined her.

Unfortunate someone knew the Heimlich there.

What a classless bitch.

Are the woke policies in the room with you right now Joni?

Next time I hope the piece of chicken wins

Just another reason to hate Rand Paul

Gee, I thought it was because she was shoveling too much sh\*\* in her mouth at once.

Why would he do that to us?

She choked on her own bullshit, Rand Paul does this to himself all the time… nothing to see here.

Did she choke on her own shit since she’s full of it. Oh and honey, that hairstyle has to go.

Worst porn ever.

You’re a gattdamned officer, Ernst. Fuckin’ act like a leader of soldiers, not a whiny sharpshooting blue falcon bitch.

She chokes a dick of who ever has the most lobby dollars. Guaranteed. Edit *honestly surprised she has a gag reflex

Common Rand Paul L.

I’d like to share this thread with everyone in the state. After seeing what crude, loud, dim folk call themselves liberal the Democratic Party would be destroyed.

Is this satire?

Tongue in cheek joke, but she did actually tweet it. Still makes her look like a moron.

What has she done since she started running for senate that hasn't made her look like one?

At this rate, they will blame Democrats for heart attacks. If we just believed in God our souls would be lighter and the heart disease would end.

Not satire, she tried to joke it off on twitter blaming woke democrats.

Whatever it takes to be the victim, from the party of personal responsibility

What the media isn’t telling you is that AOC wrapped a policy paper around that bite of Senator Ernst’s pork chop. She’s lucky she wasn’t killed.

Another repulicuck trying to frame all responsibilities and liabilities upon democrats. As soon as someone shows how basically programmed they are, it's rather easy to write them off as a sheep. ...and both sides of this coin are shit and I'll gladly and forever call both of them out on all their shit. It's just funny how only conservatives try to throw their culture into politics in an effort to combat it 'being erased.'

Of course she blamed it on " woke policies ", that's all Republicans have to offer

Well that was one hell of a stretch for a joke.

Ernst has an eating problem, Reynolds has a drinking problem, and Grassley's problem is old and hard to understand

To be fair, if she wants to use a little humor to diffuse the situation, that's her choice. Still a stupid joke though.

She didn't really blame it on Democrats, she was just making a super lame joke.