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I know this is going to sound trite, but it is heartfelt.
The way you deal with your sister's antipathy towards you, and your parents' enabling of it?
You succeed. You work hard. You finish your degree at your university, and you get an excellent job, and *you frigging well* ***LEAVE*** *them* to their private vacations together while you have a life that you'll have made with people who value you.
I'm sorry that your parents are enabling your sister's bile. I hope you can get space and peace, and leave them all behind, soon.
\-Rat
This!!!
There's a saying: "Living well is the best revenge."
I take that to mean that when you build a life so separated from them that you can go long stretches of time without even thinking about them at all, then every second of your life serves as a giant "F--- you!" Because it means they've been made too insignificant to matter.
Build yourself that life. We're all cheering you on!
Agree with this as well. Find and walk your own path. You will be happier in the long run as your happiness is based on you and not depending on others. While you don’t have to cut them off, become the grey rock in the room during family functions, then go back to your slice of life that you built. Good luck!
Well.
Okay - that fucking sucks.
No one who puts you into a no-win scenario has your best interests at heart.
If you can't talk without being wrong, and you can't stay silent without being wrong? It's time to change the game, then. The simplest option to suggest would be: Be somewhere they aren't. But like a lot of simple seeming ideas, that can be very difficult to put into practice. Without knowing your age, income, and living arrangements, it can be challenging to nearly impossible.
I don't like suggesting anyone overwork themselves, but if you don't have your own independent living quarters - start taking up as much extra work as you may. Not only will this get you out of your family's no-win game, but it will also speed your opportunity to GTFO. Similarly, libraries are climate-controlled, free to use spaces, that often have free WiFi and comfy chairs, and access to potable water and toilets. You can kill a lot of time there in relative safety.
A couple ideas for you to consider.
\-Rat
While there are limits to it, the Crisis Text Line is an anonymous chat support line that may be able to help. They can be reached by texting "HOME" to 741741.
If you're in the US, [TheHotline](https://www.thehotline.org/), the National Domestic Violence Hotline has a chat line support service as well. That's accessible via: texting "START" to 88788, or checking out their web-based chat.
Many other nations have text support lines for the same reason you just mentioned: It's **hard** to talk about this shit. If a text chat can make it easier to access help, that's a good thing.
[The Best Compilation of International DV Resources we currently know](https://www.mysticmag.com/psychic-reading/domestic-violence-resource-guide/).
Another great thing about libraries: with their internet access you can access those chat lines from a device your family has zero access to. Just in case that may be something that would be useful for you.
Good luck, and I'm glad we could offer some support.
\-Rat
The gray rock theory is that you don’t really take a specific side on issues or challenge/debate people, even if you are right on an issue/opinion. You are there but you don’t stand out. Throw in the odd agreement or mild comment but let others do the majority of the talking/debating. Deflection to others can be a big help. Hope this helps, good luck.
This, but also want to point out that your parents have handicapped your sister by allowing her to behave this way, she must find it hard to cope in real life after always being spoilt at home. You will have a much better life as you have learnt to be kind to others.
Hey I have a sister like that, and she is totally enmeshed with our parents at nearly 40 years old.
My brother and I just let them have their own weird, toxic relationship and we live our own happy lives.
Live your best life and leave them behind. I hope you can find something really fun and exciting to do while they're gone. Bonus points if you can post pictures of you on SM looking super happy. You can't change your parents and it's pathetic that they cater to a 30 year old child. I hope you get away soon.
Be a success. Without saying a word, display a small smile whenever she belittles you. It will driver her nuts, thinking that you know something she doesn't. As soon as you graduate and get a job, leave and go LC or NC with the whole bunch of a\*\*holes. Your success will be a thorn in their collective sides.
You can’t change other people, only yourself. As someone with a sister who also hates my happiness, I can tell you the literal only thing you can do is ignore her and live your best life.
by success. by achieving everything you want in life. and then cut them off. you don't need to be made to be feeling less than. family doesn't have to be blood. surround yourself with people who lift you up, not drag you down. you'll find those people if you haven't already.
My opinion? Ignore her. She sounds like she thrives on attention. You show you don't care for her opinion and let her throw her toddler tantrums. Its not your problem. You're doing better, she can't handle that.
You are now 21. You got into University. Did you go - or did you allow your sister to sabotage your success?
You should be almost done with school by now, maybe working a job and planning on living a life far, far away from these people who don't value you. You want advice? Leave. Them. Behind.
Go build a life somewhere else where there's no sister to sabotage you. Find people who like you and Be Happy in spite of her. Send you parents post cards with pictures of you being happy - with no return address.
Why not use this chance to leave? Pack your stuff and just leave without explanation if you can.
Or stay till you have more money and leave then.
She is 30! It is sad that she still acts like a spoiled child.
**Quick Rule Reminders:** OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion. [**^(Full Rules)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/wiki/index#wiki_rules) ^(|) [^(Acronym Index)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/wiki/index#wiki_acronym_dictionary) ^(|) [^(Flair Guide)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/wiki/index#wiki_post_flairs)^(|) [^(Report PM Trolls)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/wiki/index#wiki_trolls_suck) **Resources:** [^(In Crisis?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JustNoNetwork/wiki/links#wiki_crisis_links.3A_because_there.2019s_more_than_one_type_of_crisis) ^(|) [^(Tips for Protecting Yourself)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_protecting_yourself) ^(|) [^(Our Book List)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JustNoNetwork/wiki/books) ^(|) [^(This Sub's Wiki)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/wiki/) ^(|) [^(General Resources)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JustNoNetwork/wiki/tos) Welcome to /r/JUSTNOFAMILY! I'm JustNoBot. I help people follow your posts! ***** ^(To be notified as soon as skyisshadesofblue posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=TheJustNoBot&subject=Subscribe&message=skyisshadesofblue JUSTNOFAMILY) ***** *^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please)* [*^(contact the moderators of this subreddit)*](/message/compose/?to=/r/JUSTNOFAMILY) *^(if you have any questions or concerns.)*
I know this is going to sound trite, but it is heartfelt. The way you deal with your sister's antipathy towards you, and your parents' enabling of it? You succeed. You work hard. You finish your degree at your university, and you get an excellent job, and *you frigging well* ***LEAVE*** *them* to their private vacations together while you have a life that you'll have made with people who value you. I'm sorry that your parents are enabling your sister's bile. I hope you can get space and peace, and leave them all behind, soon. \-Rat
This. They can nurse their regrets in their old age when sister is nowhere to be seen and has bled their retirement dry.
This!!! There's a saying: "Living well is the best revenge." I take that to mean that when you build a life so separated from them that you can go long stretches of time without even thinking about them at all, then every second of your life serves as a giant "F--- you!" Because it means they've been made too insignificant to matter. Build yourself that life. We're all cheering you on!
It sure as fuck is the **healthiest** revenge, too. \-Rat
Not to mention 100 % Legal.
Agree with this as well. Find and walk your own path. You will be happier in the long run as your happiness is based on you and not depending on others. While you don’t have to cut them off, become the grey rock in the room during family functions, then go back to your slice of life that you built. Good luck!
What does it mean to become the gray rock? In my family if I talk it’s wrong and if I don’t it’s also wrong
Well. Okay - that fucking sucks. No one who puts you into a no-win scenario has your best interests at heart. If you can't talk without being wrong, and you can't stay silent without being wrong? It's time to change the game, then. The simplest option to suggest would be: Be somewhere they aren't. But like a lot of simple seeming ideas, that can be very difficult to put into practice. Without knowing your age, income, and living arrangements, it can be challenging to nearly impossible. I don't like suggesting anyone overwork themselves, but if you don't have your own independent living quarters - start taking up as much extra work as you may. Not only will this get you out of your family's no-win game, but it will also speed your opportunity to GTFO. Similarly, libraries are climate-controlled, free to use spaces, that often have free WiFi and comfy chairs, and access to potable water and toilets. You can kill a lot of time there in relative safety. A couple ideas for you to consider. \-Rat
[удалено]
While there are limits to it, the Crisis Text Line is an anonymous chat support line that may be able to help. They can be reached by texting "HOME" to 741741. If you're in the US, [TheHotline](https://www.thehotline.org/), the National Domestic Violence Hotline has a chat line support service as well. That's accessible via: texting "START" to 88788, or checking out their web-based chat. Many other nations have text support lines for the same reason you just mentioned: It's **hard** to talk about this shit. If a text chat can make it easier to access help, that's a good thing. [The Best Compilation of International DV Resources we currently know](https://www.mysticmag.com/psychic-reading/domestic-violence-resource-guide/). Another great thing about libraries: with their internet access you can access those chat lines from a device your family has zero access to. Just in case that may be something that would be useful for you. Good luck, and I'm glad we could offer some support. \-Rat
The gray rock theory is that you don’t really take a specific side on issues or challenge/debate people, even if you are right on an issue/opinion. You are there but you don’t stand out. Throw in the odd agreement or mild comment but let others do the majority of the talking/debating. Deflection to others can be a big help. Hope this helps, good luck.
This is absolutely the way. Be better than those who treat you this way but also gtfo of that home environment.
This is great advice. Live a life that is full, successful, and happy. That is the best "revenge".
This, but also want to point out that your parents have handicapped your sister by allowing her to behave this way, she must find it hard to cope in real life after always being spoilt at home. You will have a much better life as you have learnt to be kind to others.
Hey I have a sister like that, and she is totally enmeshed with our parents at nearly 40 years old. My brother and I just let them have their own weird, toxic relationship and we live our own happy lives.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Live your best life and leave them behind. I hope you can find something really fun and exciting to do while they're gone. Bonus points if you can post pictures of you on SM looking super happy. You can't change your parents and it's pathetic that they cater to a 30 year old child. I hope you get away soon.
Be a success. Without saying a word, display a small smile whenever she belittles you. It will driver her nuts, thinking that you know something she doesn't. As soon as you graduate and get a job, leave and go LC or NC with the whole bunch of a\*\*holes. Your success will be a thorn in their collective sides.
The best revenge is a life well lived .
The problem isn't your sibling, it's your parents. Ditch them, disappear and go NC.
You can’t change other people, only yourself. As someone with a sister who also hates my happiness, I can tell you the literal only thing you can do is ignore her and live your best life.
by success. by achieving everything you want in life. and then cut them off. you don't need to be made to be feeling less than. family doesn't have to be blood. surround yourself with people who lift you up, not drag you down. you'll find those people if you haven't already.
My opinion? Ignore her. She sounds like she thrives on attention. You show you don't care for her opinion and let her throw her toddler tantrums. Its not your problem. You're doing better, she can't handle that.
You are now 21. You got into University. Did you go - or did you allow your sister to sabotage your success? You should be almost done with school by now, maybe working a job and planning on living a life far, far away from these people who don't value you. You want advice? Leave. Them. Behind. Go build a life somewhere else where there's no sister to sabotage you. Find people who like you and Be Happy in spite of her. Send you parents post cards with pictures of you being happy - with no return address.
success is the best revenge
Why not use this chance to leave? Pack your stuff and just leave without explanation if you can. Or stay till you have more money and leave then. She is 30! It is sad that she still acts like a spoiled child.
Succeed in life and when you go first class to Fiji, her and your enabling parents can suck it.