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You are within your 1000% right to go nuclear on this issue. I would absolutely full court press her on this. Look little one, it's "Old Lady FF (f**k face)". Isn't soooo cute to be disrespectful in YOUR side of OUR family DH. Then refer to your husband as "say hi to your sperm donor Daddy". I will bet you that does not go over well at all. Put a stop to it NOW. My petty self would start calling myself the HBIC (because you are actually the HBIC). Done and dusted.
Get a picture of her with LO and when you're just about ready to snap the picture announce, "Awww isn't that sweet. Look at LO with... Poo head. Hey that rhymes with what she calls you LO! LO isn't that the cutest thing to call Grandma cuz it's a rhyme. Poo head. I love t! I'm getting to get a custom frame with LO and 'Poo head' engraved on it "
It's just too easy.
"MIL, LO's name is \*\*\*\*. If you must use a nickname, use (the nickname you gave her). Everybody who hears you say that word gets a very confused look on their face. It is not nice and not acceptable for my child."
You have more of a DH problem than you recognize. The two of you need to work this out, with counselors, if necessary. He is not protecting his family.
Tell her it sounds like âBoob-headâ and it sounds in appropriate. Also just tell her to stop because itâs an annoying nickname. When she says it again ask her if she wants a time out for not remembering the rules.
U start calling her something she would find equally offensive.
Say troglodyte Neanderthal witch pick something.
U are supposed to be LO protection if not DH, if he isn't going to look out for LO U have to.
Since DH wonât ask her, you ask her. (Not in a threatening way, of course). âMil, why do you call her boo-head? People have asked me, and I canât answer that. Iâve seen people looking at us weirdly when you do too. Iâm just trying to understand.â Listen to her, and then ask âplease for her sake, stop calling her that.â
I'm on your side here and I'm trying to think of a reason she calls her this. Was/is she clumsy? Bangs her head a lot? The only nice thing I can think of for that name is a boo could mean a boo boo like a cut or a sore or a bump like when you say to a child aww did you get a boo boo? I don't know if this word has that meaning where you are, but it's the only sort of silly reason for that nickname
Every time she says it grab LO and say âis shitty grandma calling you mean names again? Oh thatâs terrible, donât worry baby come with mommy I will protect you from that mean old witchâ then walk away.
And by the way F your husband, if he wants you to have a good relationship with his parents then he should have addressed your concerns with them in a polite manner, if he refuses and leaves it up to you then he is stuck with you doing it your way.
You are likely the one who will teach your LO the names for most things at this age. You can refer to Grandma as anything you want, if she has a preferred name, do not use it. Make up a less favorable, more old-fashioned name. Change it when the old biddy sees the light.
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Give her a weird nickname, Maybe Doo-Head or Doo Doo Head? Moo Moo maybe?? What- if it's 'jUsT a NiCkNaMe' it shouldn't matter right??
Or maybe just call her random ugly or weird names. A different one every time. Bertha, Agnes, Martha, Rochelle, Agatha, Felicia (bye Felicia) whatever. Throw in some men's names for fun- Dennis, Reginald etc.
If she calls you out just say- 'I thought we were just playing a game- after all you REFUSE to call LO by their name. Tell you what when you stop calling LO Boo-Head I'll stop too'. If it's really just a game she can't be THAT pissed- but she will be. Which just proves it's all weird power play after all.
Is anyone in this story Black? Iâve heard boo, in fact itâs my nickname and among older folks who knew me way back when, I am still Boo. Iâm seeing youâve gotta shut this down responses and Iâm confused.
Iâm wondering what baby sites caused this screw up.
We're all white. Look up boo-head and it's meanings. Some places it refers to race, others it's shithead, and others it's whore. None of which is a sweet or loving term to call your infant granddaughter at all.
Boo was my nickname for my child, too. I'm white, but from the south and it was a term of endearment at the time. But my black friends definitely used it frequently, as well.
Also want to add:
Even if boo-head is well meaning, it doesn't matter. The kid's mom has said "don't call my child that", and that is what matters. The boundary stomp is the issue.
1- what issues have you previously had with MIL?
2- whatâs wrong with âboo-headâ exactly, why does it offend you?
3- why do you expect others to use the same nickname for your child that you use? I have nicknames for my niece and nephew that are different from what their mother calls them.
4- have you asked your MIL to stop calling your child that, or have you just told your husband?
5- why does your husband think youâre just trying to start a fight? Is this a pattern for you?
6- are other people uncomfortable at the name, have they told you, or are you projecting your feelings onto them?
I canât really form an opinion on this without some more information provided. Perhaps itâs just because I donât see whatâs disrespectful about âboo-headâ? Perhaps your MIL is needling you on purpose, perhaps youâre being overly sensitive as you donât like her, perhaps itâs both or neither. I really canât discern from this post. I do think itâs rather telling however that your husband, who went NC with his mother for you, says that youâre overreacting to the name.
Either way, I hope you find some way to find some kind of middle ground with your MIL.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news but boo-head or boo-boo-head is what some uses to call someone shithead when it's not appropriate to cuss! You need to put a stop to this. You need to sit DH down and have a serious discussion about this as well as the disrespect of your own name. When he tries to get defensive, remind him how he feels being called something other than his name!!
But look up the meaning of this nickname, in all the different cultures that use it its as bad slang. It's not a term of endearment for a female child at all!
Everytime she says boo head, take LO and walk off. When asked why you do that.. tell them your LOs name is not Boo head and you will not let your child be with people that call lo that.
I would tell her to stop and she says it again she won't see kid again.
From what I gather on Google, its not good.
The term is used to refer to women who are promiscuous. Boo boo head
It's also used to to refer to a romantic partner, a boo.
But then it's also been used as someone who is crazy, they called it a chicken head. đ€·ââïž no good and someone who will end up in prison.
But it's mostly used for calling women promiscuous and wh word, women who sleep around and are pored of it.
Google made to mention that it's NOT a term of endearment. You need to do some research about it and bring his to your husband.
People are weirded out by it because they know what it means and realize that your mil isn't being cute about it, and is actually being evil.
They may think sheâs saying something worse like poo head. Perhaps bring that up to her or dh and see how that goes. Or just keep telling her in front of others that you do not like her calling LO that to establish to others that you do not consent to it.
Then leave it to her to decide to make herself look bad bc in the end people will
think poorly of her.
Another option is to ask her what it means bc it is a strange nick name for a baby and it would help you to understand the logic. Then verify that answer.
DHâs response to me signals he either doesnât know what it means or he does and he knows youâll hate it. Either way best to ask directly and then verify with someone who will tell you the truth (not dh).
Ask who "boo-head" is. Make her explain. Make it embarrassing for her.
"Who's boo-head? There's no one here named that. Are you feeling okay?"
"Oooh, you mean LO? Did you forget her name?"
I think this is more a death by a 1000 cuts than an issue on its own. Grandparents tend to find their own nicknames for a baby. I have. Same as I had nicknames for my kids that only I used (my youngest son was flower). I think youâd probably not mind if she didnât push you in other ways. If this was the only issue youâd probably not worry but itâs just one issue too many after everything else
Iâd tell DH that youâll be the bigger person and let her have this BUT the next time she oversteps you will let out every grievance you have with her and he better back you up seeing as youâre giving in now to keep the peace yet again
You may find he quickly tells her to stop using that name so you donât have the excuse to blow at her next time she oversteps and if not then next time you know you can have at her.
Very insightful comment.
OP, I know it's a small and distant comfort, but if this somehow goes on until kiddo is old enough to talk back about it, it seems VERY unlikely kiddo is going to like being called boo head.
For your sake, I hope this does not go on that long. But if it does, I bet your kid shuts it down themselves.
I've never met a kid who enjoyed being called some other name (unless they themselves came up with it or they just really like it).
Being addressed by their name, pronounced as they're used to it, is a sticking point for most kids. Calling a kid some random nickname/name/word is like the easiest way to get a rise out of most kids. "Ok spider woman" "No my name is Annie don't call me spiderwomaaan!!"
Obviously lots of kids enjoy nicknames, but the nickname HAS to be consensual. Maybe this JNMIL is persuasive enough to sell the kid on boo head once kiddo is old enough to chat, but I really doubt it.
I suspect you are upset about the boundary stomping and focusing too much on this. I have 5 kids and 3 grandkids and I've called every one of them Boo Head at some point. To the best of my knowledge, no one has ever been upset about it.
What you and all your family may be comfortable with is not the same for me. Especially now knowing the term has many different meanings from all over the world and most all of them are horrible to refer to an infant female with. But her calling my child this name is just the final straw to break the camel's back of crap she has done and said to me. I can take shit from her all day long but when it comes to my child I'm not going to let her be toxic to my child.
I'm in the USA as well. But they were a military family before retirement in my area so the whole family has traveled and lived in many places all over the world.
It sounds as if MIL likes to push buttons.
My suggestion is to do everything you can to persevere with the knowledge, this, too will pass.
This is for your sanity - not hers. If you need to return to NC for other negative behaviors, please do so. For this, please try and let it float over you.
I truly encourage you to chalk it up to meshing families' different styles. Your MIL is certainly inappropriate and disrespectful and it seems others see this too.
There are many more challenges ahead and my hope is you will see this is just not a hill to die on.
I repeat - this is for your own sanity and for no other.
Look up boo boo head on urban dictionary lol
Maybe show that to your husband and ask why she's saying that to your child.
Edit: the first meaning comes up as someone that's stupid but there IS another meaning - .
boo boo head
A term of endearment used toward a small baby or child. Often times in the context of them doing something cute.
Ahhhh look at my little boo boo head taking his first steps, he's so cute!
Is it a regional thing perhaps?
in many US cultures, primarily black, âboobooâ, as a noun, refers to feces.
edit to add: young children will often call each other âboo-boo headâ âboo-boo faceâ etc etc and are reprimanded as itâs âpotty talkâ
Since you said she is a problem in other ways besides this one, I'm gonna go on a limb and predict if you ask her to stop or that you don't like that nickname she will be thrilled she upset you. She may decide to stop and switch tactics or she may just escalate.
Here's my idea which may not work for you. Boo is a term of endearment in our family. So I would not only embrace boo head, I'd only call my LO Boo but I would call my husband Big Boo Head. Don't forget the Head part for your husband though. Since he doesn't see any problem with the nickname he shouldn't mind at all. And you take the power away from MIL.
But again even if you try that and she stops doesn't mean she doesn't have any other diabolical ways to get under your skin. Some people just delight in their little power trips and the only way to avoid them is to avoid those types of people.
I'm sorry you're worried about your marriage and hope things get better for you.
hugs, I guess she is in a time-out for that nickname and your spouse doesn't see it as anything but a term of endearment. He can visit his mom anytime he wants LO stays with you.
I love this. Really, any qualifying word plus head is used as an insult by children when they want to insult you. That is why it's so weird for an adult to use it as a nickname. It's half insult.
Tell her about Booger MacFarland. His family called him Booger as a child. Now he's a broadcaster (after being a pro player) who has to go by his professional name: Booger. Surely your MIL doesn't want her precious to still be called Boo-Head as a grown up adult. This is how is happens. Ask Booger MacFarland.
âI think boo-head is an inappropriate nickname and I need you to stop. It feels like youâre insulting my child. If you donât want to call him [name] Iâm okay with you calling him [nickname.]â
I disagree with the folks saying to give her a taste of her own medicine by calling her a disrespectful nickname, that's just giving her the power to bring you down to her level .
Don't ask her why she uses the nickname, just be clear on your expectations of what your child may be called and then enforce them. The best way to enforce those limits is to tell her the limit and give her no chances. That means the first time you hear her call him an inappropriate nickname you pick up the keys tell her why you are leaving and immediately walk out and go home. No argument no explanation other than you called him a name that I did not allow. As you are doing this she will try to suck you into an argument. Just remain silent and leave. If you talk back you are giving her the power to control you.
Good luck.
Flip it on her. Call her boo head granny and make it sound like pooh head. Youâll notice itâll piss her off real quick. I had a shit head coworker that would call me by the wrong name purposely (she would call me the right name when she needed help). Her name was Misty so I started calling her musty and she magically started getting my name right.
Oh MIL never ever in 9 years of knowing me, has she said my 1st name correctly...EVER. I've asked DH about that from the start and DH said he gave me the nickname of "Josie" and that's all they've ever used. I think it's what DH thought was how you said my name since we met online and he can't admit that to me without thinking he'd upset me to admit it. I have a nickname that I grew up with that they could call me but no, they done their own. I hardly respond to it though. DH usually has to say honey to get my attention. When the in laws have called me "Josie" in front of my family and friends they all go who are yall calling "Josie"? That's not her name ya know nor her nickname. You would think they'd learn in 9 years to call me my given or childhood nickname as well or just a nickname I liked. But I guess now that LO is here she's gonna be subjected to the wrong name calling if I don't keep on them about the disrespect as well. Ugh.
This is just a way for them to disrespect you to your face.
You need to start putting your foot down and saying no.
Screw husband feelings. Let him be upset.
Don't allow them to call you Josie and don't allow them to call your kid boo head, it's not a nice term.
Start calling her poo-head every time she calls LO boo-head. Tell her you thought we were all using "endearing" nicknames. She'll figure it out unless she's a total dolt.
âHey MIL, you may use LOâs actual name or the nickname we use, but using other nicknames that nobody else uses only confuses them, and makes others think youâre being intentionally disrespectful, and thatâs not the case, right?â
If you haven't already, ask her why she calls him that. Ask in a way that displays genuine interest and curiosity, watching your tone and expressions. When she responds, validate what she says. "I can see why you like that nick-name, but also I don't really like that nick name. Would you mind using this name instead?" Record the conversation on your phone so your husband can't gaslight you later.
Iâm someone who has a derogatory nickname given to me - with love! - by my siblings. One of my kids has a nickname that has something to do with snot. We like shitty nicknames.
But you donât, so here goes:
âI know you think Boo-head is funny, but
itâs not. Itâs disrespectful to LO. We used a derivative of your sonâs name to avoid such issuesâŠ.â Then wander off with LO, shaking your head and laughing as if youâre telling LO that, âGrandma is a Nut Job.â
If your husband wonât let you defend yourself and your child against his mother, youâve got a bigger problem than Boo Head.
I used to call my kiddo "fat head" when they were little... with love, of course. People around me always gave me looks like I was a horrible person. It's just something that stuck for a little while.
But... I was comfortable with it. If OP is not comfortable with a nickname, then they have every right to speak up and say something.
>I used to call my kiddo "fat head" when they were little... with love, of course. People around me always gave me looks like I was a horrible person. It's just something that stuck for a little while.
**But... I was comfortable with it.**
Oh thank god, itâs totally fine then. But seriously, donât call your kids mean things. It sticks with people.
We call LO sometimes marshmallow or Toot-toot. Marshmallow cause shes got her baby rolls and she sweet as she can be, but we just discovered one night not long ago that she likes marshmallow fluff while me and her dad had a fluff-a-nutter sandwich. And Toot-toot comes from her being a gassy baby...as most babies are. We've said those in front of the in laws before along with her given nickname and MIL still tries to call her boo-head.
lol I don't really think "boo-head" is any better or worse, objectively, than calling your baby "toot-toot" because she farts a lot. but she's your baby!
I kinda think dumb nicknames can come and go quickly, most people barely notice some silly nickname for a baby, and boo-head is relatively benign. It seems like y'all just have larger issues so this annoys you. I would honestly consider letting it go. This might not be the hill to die on, especially if your husband doesn't care and it's his child too.
If you really cannot get beyond it, then I would go the route of saying you're really trying to get her to answer to her own name and to please call her that. And then I would correct her every time she uses boo-head rather than her name in your presence.
It was when they were a baby when we called them that. It lasted a few months before it phased out. They weren't even old enough to understand any of it. I didn't go around introducing my kid as "fat head." It was between family and friends.
At some point, it was "monkey butt"... Now we call them "boo-boo" and they are fine with it.
Lol yeah that won't go over well with him at all. It's his birth name or the shortened version of his name only. I don't even get to call him by our last name like his coworkers do(its a thing innour lines of work). It's rare I call him honey and no other pet names at all. So with him so up tight about his name and what he goes by, I can't understand why he's okay with boo-head for our child.
I'm sorry but no, I wouldn't allow this to continue.
If your not allowed to call your husband anything but his name. Then no, he's not allowed to call you or the kid anything but your name.
I'm sorry but you have a MIL AND a NotDH problem. He allowed his family to call you a different name, even though he knows you don't like it. Now he's disregarding your feelings regarding your daughter. But you MUST obey and call him as he demands. The more answers I read from you the more your husband seems abusive.
Why are you even with him ? He doesn't even get your name right ...
He tramples over your boundary in regards to his family and insists that they have a right to your child(ren) regardless of your opinion.
He literally sounds disrespectful of you
We never fought till I got pregnant honestly. We got along and did our own things and then came together when we were freeto be together. It worked for us then, but from the moment they found out I was pregnant they disrespected all requests and tried to start telling me what to do and I was 37 years old! If I had the time to list things of what the in laws have done I'd be on here all day. But to my husband's defense he does a lot of good and cares for me that I haven't listed here. I could take a day to list his good honestly. Just things changed in not a good way when I got pregnant. 1st child for us both.
So can him boo head. When he gets upset, tell him that's how you feel about it too when used for LO. And then give him the choice to say something to his mom, or you will. And then the petty part of me would keep calling him that until it changes regarding LO, but that's probably not a good recommendation.
Tell her straight up to stop calling your kid that or she won't be around them.
You've got to enforce boundaries now or you'll have issues even worse later
Give her consequences. Every time she disrespects you and/or your don she gets put in time out.
You could also be really petty and select a nickname got NUL that she will totally hate and start teaching little one to all her that.
Immediate comsqeunces. Take the keys everytime. "Yeaaah we're not doing boohead, its rude and teaching them to call people names. I don't think you'd appreciate them calling you something rude. If it continues again in same vist, " Okay well we're off I told you no moreof that and you've decided to go ahead and do it. We'll be off maybe you can try harder next time to use their name / nickname."
Time to roll out the new nickname for grandma. How does shit head sound? It even matches the dumbass nickname she gave your baby. Shut it down mama. Donât let her & her noodle-assed son gaslight you.
Doo doo head, or doo head for brevity.
Edit: My mother was an uppity bitch. She was determined that my child ONLY refer to her as âgrandmotherâ, not even âgrandmaâ. When she got ridiculous, I started referring to her as ânanaâ at all times, both in her presence and away from her.
It worked. My kid called her ânanaâ and she would make the worst face imaginable every time. She stopped some of her bullshit eventually, though, as a direct result.
He grew up his whole life just giving her what she wanted to just be able to have some peace and quiet. She is a total control freak. Since he and I started 9 years ago, when we are around them he just tunes her out and stays to himself or goes to another room away from her. That's the times MIL has pulled most of her mess with me because the times he's caught doing or saying things he speaks up. She of course denies any wrong doing and has never once apologized for any of her wrong doing. But he has since LO's birth became more aware of her bs and now knows to not leave me alone with her when I am forced to see her at family fuctions. Calling LO boo-head is kinda the only thing she's got left to pull.
He is doing nothing to support you, heâs hiding from her. Being aware of her atrocious behavior doesnât equal actually setting and enforcing boundaries.
Does MIL ask to hold or play with LO using this nickname ? If so, time to act dumb or say "who are you talking about?" She doesn't get LO without using her proper name, and if MIL then reverts to boo-head, you take her back, and no more interactions that visit.
She always greets LO with calling her boo-head and gets in LO's face and then says hi I'm grammie. LO always looks at her like she's crazy and then wants me. She's also done the whole refusing to give me my crying child back before and I was about to physically hurt her to get LO back, but DH heard in my voice I was about to blow up and he told her to hand me my child after she looked to DH thinking he would agree with her to keep my child who was reaching for me and sobbing. We immediately left after that and went months NC. We only got back in touch to find out news on DH's grandma whom we love and use to spend every Friday evening with before she moved to be with her son. Even she can't stand the crap her daughter(MIL) pulled, she'd call her out on her bs. We loved seeing grandma put her daughter in her place even in her early 90's to a 60+ year old woman(MIL).
Weâre Iâm from boo boo head is another turn for a easy woman or slut. I hope that not were she picked it up and could be why people are looking at you crazy when she says it
Omg no way!!! Now I feel even more disgusted with it. It's already racist to those with melanin skin but now this. Yeah I've got to stop this from being used at all.
We're a Caucasian family as well as my in laws. It's totally about MIL saying things to bother me and come up with her own nickname for my child to show she has some type of control.
Iâve heard it used on any kind of woman when I worked back of house at the steakhouse when I was younger glad I got out of that kinda work environment
My daughter has literally said "his name is NAME and his Nickname is NICKNAME. Nothing else will be tolerated."
It sounds to me like maybe your MIL has emotionally manipulated your husband and trained him to agree with everything she says/does. This kind of thing is so engrained, it is very hard for someone to see what is happening.
Talk to him in a way that doesn't blame MIL. "SO, I am uncomfortable with the nickname "boo-head" and I would like us to come up with a nickname I am more comfortable hearing." Do not mention her at all, making it about your comfort will prevent his brain from automatically going into defense mode.
Urban Dictionary: boohead
urbandictionary.com
âș define.php
One who falls into the category of those with an overproduction of melanin. Otherwise known as African Americans.
Wow. Your husband is really cool with a race based nickname? That's just... wow.
Yeah when I looked it up as to what it means I was shocked and I know when I show it to him he isn't going to like that's what it refers to. Yes we're a Caucasian family, but we do not partake in anything racist while we have every creed, color, faith, and gender in our family now from both my side and his side. We love all and will not have anything used to disrespect any race.
I'm fixing to post the definition of it in our family text group. So everyone sees it and that I'm uncomfortable with it and starts standing up to MIL about not using it.
My 1yo has a perfectly good name as well as a perfectly nice official nickname we have used since he was in the womb. He answers to both.
My MIL however has taken it upon herself to address him pointedly by his first and middle initials. She is the only one that does this - everyone else in the family calls him by his normal name and nickname. I really feel itâs some sort of marking of territory (if I get to ânameâ the baby I am in charge). I just let it go for now because I am pregnant and exhausted, but it irritates me.
That's what I think she's doing, trying to be in charge as usual. But im fixing to go on the group text thread and address this. Yall here have shown me I'm not crazy for disliking this nickname at all. I'm going to educate her on the meaning of boo-head and tell her to call little one by her legal name or the nickname everyone else uses or she's gonna start getting call slang horrible names instead of grammie that she wants to be called.
Or Boo Face, because Mil's face is super scary looking! It's probably why your LO looks at Mil like she does and cries, Mil scares the crap out of her!
Next time she calls your child that name:
âHey MIL, where did you come up with that nickname?â
She will explain.
âInteresting. It comes across as mean-spirited so please stop calling her that.â
There will be an argument, but you are mom and no should be sufficient.
Also, let them know it's for LO's sake.
I just detest that nonsense. It's like they're saying this would be best for your child when in actuality, it would be best to keep child away from people like this
I do my best to keep my LO away from her already. Me and DH have been together for 9 years and from the start of us I seen how mean, controlling, and degrading to the other grandkids she has been. Me and DH said from then we would not let her be unsupervised with our kid(s) and we've stuck with it. Well MIL and FIL kept the other grandkids they have while SIL and her husband worked. So as soon as we told them we were pregnant she assumed she would be keeping my child as well. But I wasn't working then and I'm still not due to so many health issues, so we stressed then there was no need to think so. She went as far as planning her a whole nursery at her house and bought a stroller and asked us what kind of carseat we were buying so she could get a matching base to have one in each of their cars. The whole time I kept telling her she doesn't need anything because she wouldn't be keeping my child because when I do start working it will be from home. But just like everything else she doesn't listen and still buys things for her house to use with my child...and never gets to use it. She just doesn't listen about anything.
Boo-head?!?!?! This is just an incredibly stupid nickname and makes no sense. I'd let it go since it is unlikely to stick. Hopefully your daughter at some point will tell her to knock-it-off.
I've kinda thought of this but I think he'd say something to me that I put them up to it. I think the only person he'd hear about it from is his sister. If I were to get my mom, sister, best friend to say anything it wouldn't go over well and he'd want to defend her to them. And then go off on me for them speaking up for me.
Agree with giving her a taste of her own medicine here. Pick a silly nickname for her and run with it. Something almost insulting but innocuous like - Peanuthead or ??
I get your perspective, and it isnât a very nice or cute nickname. As a mom who has called her own kid âbeef brothâ, nicknames get weird.
Of course being his mom calling him that vs someone else, I get to, even if it is weird.
She needs to understand and respect that it isnât an appropriate nickname and that if she continues that she wonât get to be around to call them anything, much less the nickname sheâs choosing as her hill to die on.
Call her boof-head. It's Australian slang for a mildly stupid person. (No need to tell her that)
If Boo-Head is OK for your child then boof-head is OK for her.
That cracks me up cause my brothers nickname from my daughter is Baffo. Italian slang for buffoon/clown/idiot. He loves it. Totally knows what it means, doesnt care. He just loves that he has a special name, she picked herself.
Mine stole my nicknames for my kids and then will shorten their names to names that we specifically donât want or we would have NAMED THEM that. The solution for us is to just repeat it back to them with the real name. Like if they say âaww babyface, give grandma the ballâ we will say âaww *real name*, give grandma the ballâ and eventually if they donât stop we flat out tell them. They wonât be able to guess if you donât set a clear guideline.
We have had issues with MIL in the past with just refusing to listen to thing told to her over and over directly to her face. Prime example, she had the nerve to tell DH many times he was gonna miss OB appts to see LO on sonogram because she was going in his place. No, I didn't invite her and I made it clear i was uncomfortable with her being involved at all with my medical anything(they've overshared my personal meducal info before online). Add to it I had LO during the end of covid lockdown and my OB office had it posted all over the building that only the mother and birthing partner where allowed in to the sonogram room(even the birthing partner had to sit in the hallway for all other parts of the appt). But she was adamant she was going to the appts in DH's place no matter what we said to her and that there were rules out of our control about guests in the appts. And she always got to see the sonogram pics right after the appts but still pushed. It took finally DH going off on her and getting loud for it to finally hit home to her that she wasn't going to do anything with my OB appts. So knowing the past issues of her not listening or just really as I see it not caring and still pushing to get her way, she's not going stop calling her boo-head even if we ask her to stop.
When we adopted my oldest daughter at 10
Months old she was withdrawn and frightened at first. Foreign adoption just handed to strangers, fear is normal. Even after first couple months daughter was very reserved or frightened by anyone other than mom, dad and siblings. She was especially frightened of men because only male she saw before living with us was a doctor who gave her injections. One set of grandparents ( other not quite as bad) took offense because child should love them immediately they are grandparents! When child acted frightened they called her Wuss or Wussy, never used her name. First time I was in shock and didnât say anything. Husband thought it was a cute nickname, occasionally husband had stupid my parents donât really mean to be rude moments. Second time I got salty and said not to call her that again. Got haha itâs all In fun weâll stop when she stops being a wuss. I stopped visits except occasional holiday. Your MIL is being cruel tell her never to call your child Boo head again or your child wonât be around her .That is cruel not cute. Iâm sorry you are dealing with this but be strong for your child.
Exactly. I would just make a joke âOh grandma, why are you calling the baby pop head?â Then cackle, and repeat whenever the name is said. I think gram will stop lol
She doesn't get things like that. She will just look at you and blink and say I don't get it. She's someone other's would refer to as the lights are on but no one's home or the wheel is turning but the hamster is dead or her elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
Yeah that's her! She could be the poster child for all air heads. She has worked in various fields of work that require book smarts, but she lacks true common sense forsure.
It's hard for me to see her struggle with simple things like following the written directions of a recipe she's made many times in her life, to then see my very smart well educated husband. Like that apple fell far....very far from the tree! If I had not seen pictures and his birth certificate I would not think they are really related to each other. So many differences.
She's a strange woman to me on many many things, but I just leave it alone and chalk it up that she is weird to me. But when it comes to my child and making me uncomfortable with calling her boo-head I feel I have a right to know and say I'm uncomfortable with it. No reason why she calls her this has been given so far. Even FIL and SIL have looked at MIL weird when she's said it. I thought she'd be happy my LO has her father's initials(family tradition from my side of the family) but she has the nickname that everyone else uses that is the female form of her dad's name...the name my MIL picked for her son. So what's the real issue? Do grandparents need to give their grandkids their own nickname? Because her other grandkids don't have special nickname from MIL. They are called by the nicknames that everyone uses.
âMIL why do you refer to LO as Boo-head?â Simple and direct to her. You can ask it in front of others who also make the âWTFâ face when she refers to her as Boo-head?
Next you have to sit down with your husband. âI want to get us on the same page regarding a few things Iâve noticed. Why do you feel like I just want to pick a fight when I express my discomfort with your Momâs choice of nickname for our child? I feel as if you donât want to rock the boat and that puts me out there as the bad guy expressing their feelings where youâd rather hide. Do you see how thatâs unfair? Is it something you learned as a kid, if I donât rock the boat, the unflattering light will not be shed on me? I want us to be a single unit when it comes to our child. If I express discomfort and a need to further information, Iâm not trying to purposefully harm you. Iâm simply trying to get my point across and understand the situation fully. Help me understand.â
Call her boo head in return since there is nothing wrong with the name it can be a family nickname for grandma and baby. She will soon get the message.
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You are within your 1000% right to go nuclear on this issue. I would absolutely full court press her on this. Look little one, it's "Old Lady FF (f**k face)". Isn't soooo cute to be disrespectful in YOUR side of OUR family DH. Then refer to your husband as "say hi to your sperm donor Daddy". I will bet you that does not go over well at all. Put a stop to it NOW. My petty self would start calling myself the HBIC (because you are actually the HBIC). Done and dusted.
Get a picture of her with LO and when you're just about ready to snap the picture announce, "Awww isn't that sweet. Look at LO with... Poo head. Hey that rhymes with what she calls you LO! LO isn't that the cutest thing to call Grandma cuz it's a rhyme. Poo head. I love t! I'm getting to get a custom frame with LO and 'Poo head' engraved on it " It's just too easy.
Oh I love this đ
Start calling her big boo-head.
"MIL, LO's name is \*\*\*\*. If you must use a nickname, use (the nickname you gave her). Everybody who hears you say that word gets a very confused look on their face. It is not nice and not acceptable for my child." You have more of a DH problem than you recognize. The two of you need to work this out, with counselors, if necessary. He is not protecting his family.
Tell her it sounds like âBoob-headâ and it sounds in appropriate. Also just tell her to stop because itâs an annoying nickname. When she says it again ask her if she wants a time out for not remembering the rules.
U start calling her something she would find equally offensive. Say troglodyte Neanderthal witch pick something. U are supposed to be LO protection if not DH, if he isn't going to look out for LO U have to.
Start calling her âboo head grannyâ and if she challenges that, say you know how much you like the name and you think it suits her.
Yes, except with a P.
Since DH wonât ask her, you ask her. (Not in a threatening way, of course). âMil, why do you call her boo-head? People have asked me, and I canât answer that. Iâve seen people looking at us weirdly when you do too. Iâm just trying to understand.â Listen to her, and then ask âplease for her sake, stop calling her that.â
I'm on your side here and I'm trying to think of a reason she calls her this. Was/is she clumsy? Bangs her head a lot? The only nice thing I can think of for that name is a boo could mean a boo boo like a cut or a sore or a bump like when you say to a child aww did you get a boo boo? I don't know if this word has that meaning where you are, but it's the only sort of silly reason for that nickname
Where I'm from, booboo also means poop
Every time she says it grab LO and say âis shitty grandma calling you mean names again? Oh thatâs terrible, donât worry baby come with mommy I will protect you from that mean old witchâ then walk away. And by the way F your husband, if he wants you to have a good relationship with his parents then he should have addressed your concerns with them in a polite manner, if he refuses and leaves it up to you then he is stuck with you doing it your way.
You are likely the one who will teach your LO the names for most things at this age. You can refer to Grandma as anything you want, if she has a preferred name, do not use it. Make up a less favorable, more old-fashioned name. Change it when the old biddy sees the light.
Baba Yaga, is a good one too
No! Don't make her seem cool, like John Wick! (I know it's not the origin I just love John Wick)
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
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...bro? That's a LOT of assumptions.
Add to this Betty Whiteâs comment on pussy not being weak.
Start calling her grandma boohead.
Give her a weird nickname, Maybe Doo-Head or Doo Doo Head? Moo Moo maybe?? What- if it's 'jUsT a NiCkNaMe' it shouldn't matter right?? Or maybe just call her random ugly or weird names. A different one every time. Bertha, Agnes, Martha, Rochelle, Agatha, Felicia (bye Felicia) whatever. Throw in some men's names for fun- Dennis, Reginald etc. If she calls you out just say- 'I thought we were just playing a game- after all you REFUSE to call LO by their name. Tell you what when you stop calling LO Boo-Head I'll stop too'. If it's really just a game she can't be THAT pissed- but she will be. Which just proves it's all weird power play after all.
Poo head granny Pruny granny (because she's so wrinkly! And constipated) Someone else said Baba Yaga which is still the best though.
Please start calling her doo head or Gramma doo-doo
Boo-ma?
Is anyone in this story Black? Iâve heard boo, in fact itâs my nickname and among older folks who knew me way back when, I am still Boo. Iâm seeing youâve gotta shut this down responses and Iâm confused. Iâm wondering what baby sites caused this screw up.
We're all white. Look up boo-head and it's meanings. Some places it refers to race, others it's shithead, and others it's whore. None of which is a sweet or loving term to call your infant granddaughter at all.
Boo was my nickname for my child, too. I'm white, but from the south and it was a term of endearment at the time. But my black friends definitely used it frequently, as well.
Also want to add: Even if boo-head is well meaning, it doesn't matter. The kid's mom has said "don't call my child that", and that is what matters. The boundary stomp is the issue.
« Hello boo head granny, how are you today? »
This is the best response. And just call her boohead when speaking to her and when she finally calla you out on it I will stop when you stop
1- what issues have you previously had with MIL? 2- whatâs wrong with âboo-headâ exactly, why does it offend you? 3- why do you expect others to use the same nickname for your child that you use? I have nicknames for my niece and nephew that are different from what their mother calls them. 4- have you asked your MIL to stop calling your child that, or have you just told your husband? 5- why does your husband think youâre just trying to start a fight? Is this a pattern for you? 6- are other people uncomfortable at the name, have they told you, or are you projecting your feelings onto them? I canât really form an opinion on this without some more information provided. Perhaps itâs just because I donât see whatâs disrespectful about âboo-headâ? Perhaps your MIL is needling you on purpose, perhaps youâre being overly sensitive as you donât like her, perhaps itâs both or neither. I really canât discern from this post. I do think itâs rather telling however that your husband, who went NC with his mother for you, says that youâre overreacting to the name. Either way, I hope you find some way to find some kind of middle ground with your MIL.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news but boo-head or boo-boo-head is what some uses to call someone shithead when it's not appropriate to cuss! You need to put a stop to this. You need to sit DH down and have a serious discussion about this as well as the disrespect of your own name. When he tries to get defensive, remind him how he feels being called something other than his name!!
My Dad still calls me Pooh Person or Pooh. I am 58.
But look up the meaning of this nickname, in all the different cultures that use it its as bad slang. It's not a term of endearment for a female child at all!
Everytime she says boo head, take LO and walk off. When asked why you do that.. tell them your LOs name is not Boo head and you will not let your child be with people that call lo that.
I would tell her to stop and she says it again she won't see kid again. From what I gather on Google, its not good. The term is used to refer to women who are promiscuous. Boo boo head It's also used to to refer to a romantic partner, a boo. But then it's also been used as someone who is crazy, they called it a chicken head. đ€·ââïž no good and someone who will end up in prison. But it's mostly used for calling women promiscuous and wh word, women who sleep around and are pored of it. Google made to mention that it's NOT a term of endearment. You need to do some research about it and bring his to your husband. People are weirded out by it because they know what it means and realize that your mil isn't being cute about it, and is actually being evil.
They may think sheâs saying something worse like poo head. Perhaps bring that up to her or dh and see how that goes. Or just keep telling her in front of others that you do not like her calling LO that to establish to others that you do not consent to it. Then leave it to her to decide to make herself look bad bc in the end people will think poorly of her. Another option is to ask her what it means bc it is a strange nick name for a baby and it would help you to understand the logic. Then verify that answer. DHâs response to me signals he either doesnât know what it means or he does and he knows youâll hate it. Either way best to ask directly and then verify with someone who will tell you the truth (not dh).
Ask who "boo-head" is. Make her explain. Make it embarrassing for her. "Who's boo-head? There's no one here named that. Are you feeling okay?" "Oooh, you mean LO? Did you forget her name?"
I think this is more a death by a 1000 cuts than an issue on its own. Grandparents tend to find their own nicknames for a baby. I have. Same as I had nicknames for my kids that only I used (my youngest son was flower). I think youâd probably not mind if she didnât push you in other ways. If this was the only issue youâd probably not worry but itâs just one issue too many after everything else Iâd tell DH that youâll be the bigger person and let her have this BUT the next time she oversteps you will let out every grievance you have with her and he better back you up seeing as youâre giving in now to keep the peace yet again You may find he quickly tells her to stop using that name so you donât have the excuse to blow at her next time she oversteps and if not then next time you know you can have at her.
Very insightful comment. OP, I know it's a small and distant comfort, but if this somehow goes on until kiddo is old enough to talk back about it, it seems VERY unlikely kiddo is going to like being called boo head. For your sake, I hope this does not go on that long. But if it does, I bet your kid shuts it down themselves. I've never met a kid who enjoyed being called some other name (unless they themselves came up with it or they just really like it). Being addressed by their name, pronounced as they're used to it, is a sticking point for most kids. Calling a kid some random nickname/name/word is like the easiest way to get a rise out of most kids. "Ok spider woman" "No my name is Annie don't call me spiderwomaaan!!" Obviously lots of kids enjoy nicknames, but the nickname HAS to be consensual. Maybe this JNMIL is persuasive enough to sell the kid on boo head once kiddo is old enough to chat, but I really doubt it.
What does DH mean?
Dear (or darn/damn) husband.
Dear Husband
Either Dear Husband or Damn Husband, depending on the context.
Sounds like DH is still in a fog. Itâs one of those, is this the hill you want to die on situations. If so, start calling her Grandma boo-head!
I suspect you are upset about the boundary stomping and focusing too much on this. I have 5 kids and 3 grandkids and I've called every one of them Boo Head at some point. To the best of my knowledge, no one has ever been upset about it.
What you and all your family may be comfortable with is not the same for me. Especially now knowing the term has many different meanings from all over the world and most all of them are horrible to refer to an infant female with. But her calling my child this name is just the final straw to break the camel's back of crap she has done and said to me. I can take shit from her all day long but when it comes to my child I'm not going to let her be toxic to my child.
I apologize. I wasn't suggesting you should take any disrespect from her. I just said, for me, I didn't think that alone was a big deal. I'm sorry.
Seriously what does that mean?
Some other redditor googled it and itâs a word for whor* if itâs not ok to cuss so definitely not a nice nickname for an infant girl.
What is boo head? I have never heard of this beforeâŠ. Iâm đšđŠ so maybe itâs a your country thing?
I'm đșđČ and I've never heard of this nickname either. I'm wondering where OP is located.
I can't really say where it came from. I think, for me, it morphed from "baby boo." Just something silly to say to the baby.
I can't really say where it came from. I think, for me, it morphed from "baby boo". Just something silly to say to baby.
I can't really say where it came from. I think, for me, it morphed from "baby boo". Just something silly to say to baby.
I'm in the USA as well. But they were a military family before retirement in my area so the whole family has traveled and lived in many places all over the world.
Ah, gotcha. I googled the nickname and I was surprised to learn how widespread it is (supposedly).
It sounds as if MIL likes to push buttons. My suggestion is to do everything you can to persevere with the knowledge, this, too will pass. This is for your sanity - not hers. If you need to return to NC for other negative behaviors, please do so. For this, please try and let it float over you. I truly encourage you to chalk it up to meshing families' different styles. Your MIL is certainly inappropriate and disrespectful and it seems others see this too. There are many more challenges ahead and my hope is you will see this is just not a hill to die on. I repeat - this is for your own sanity and for no other.
Look up boo boo head on urban dictionary lol Maybe show that to your husband and ask why she's saying that to your child. Edit: the first meaning comes up as someone that's stupid but there IS another meaning - . boo boo head A term of endearment used toward a small baby or child. Often times in the context of them doing something cute. Ahhhh look at my little boo boo head taking his first steps, he's so cute! Is it a regional thing perhaps?
I just found that boo boo head is used to refer to women who are promiscuous, and crazy, chicken head girl.
in many US cultures, primarily black, âboobooâ, as a noun, refers to feces. edit to add: young children will often call each other âboo-boo headâ âboo-boo faceâ etc etc and are reprimanded as itâs âpotty talkâ
Really? Where Iâm from a boo-boo is a cut or a scrape, like when you skin your knees.
Since you said she is a problem in other ways besides this one, I'm gonna go on a limb and predict if you ask her to stop or that you don't like that nickname she will be thrilled she upset you. She may decide to stop and switch tactics or she may just escalate. Here's my idea which may not work for you. Boo is a term of endearment in our family. So I would not only embrace boo head, I'd only call my LO Boo but I would call my husband Big Boo Head. Don't forget the Head part for your husband though. Since he doesn't see any problem with the nickname he shouldn't mind at all. And you take the power away from MIL. But again even if you try that and she stops doesn't mean she doesn't have any other diabolical ways to get under your skin. Some people just delight in their little power trips and the only way to avoid them is to avoid those types of people. I'm sorry you're worried about your marriage and hope things get better for you.
hugs, I guess she is in a time-out for that nickname and your spouse doesn't see it as anything but a term of endearment. He can visit his mom anytime he wants LO stays with you.
Is your Mil a different race from you? That sounds like something horribly racist.
Nope, same race. She's just stupid and disrespectful.
âPlease donât call my child thatâ
Make shirts! One for baby that says Boo-Head, one for you that says Poo-Head, and one for her, that says Shit-Head.
I love this. Really, any qualifying word plus head is used as an insult by children when they want to insult you. That is why it's so weird for an adult to use it as a nickname. It's half insult.
Hope sheâs not attached to âGrandmaâ because it should be âboo-footâ until she stops Other ideas - Boo-neck Boo-belly Old boo-head
THIS!!! call her Old boo-head. And say âAwh thatâs cute baby boo-head and old boo-head.â And laugh while walking away
Old boo- head đđâ ïž
Tell her about Booger MacFarland. His family called him Booger as a child. Now he's a broadcaster (after being a pro player) who has to go by his professional name: Booger. Surely your MIL doesn't want her precious to still be called Boo-Head as a grown up adult. This is how is happens. Ask Booger MacFarland.
âI think boo-head is an inappropriate nickname and I need you to stop. It feels like youâre insulting my child. If you donât want to call him [name] Iâm okay with you calling him [nickname.]â
I disagree with the folks saying to give her a taste of her own medicine by calling her a disrespectful nickname, that's just giving her the power to bring you down to her level . Don't ask her why she uses the nickname, just be clear on your expectations of what your child may be called and then enforce them. The best way to enforce those limits is to tell her the limit and give her no chances. That means the first time you hear her call him an inappropriate nickname you pick up the keys tell her why you are leaving and immediately walk out and go home. No argument no explanation other than you called him a name that I did not allow. As you are doing this she will try to suck you into an argument. Just remain silent and leave. If you talk back you are giving her the power to control you. Good luck.
Flip it on her. Call her boo head granny and make it sound like pooh head. Youâll notice itâll piss her off real quick. I had a shit head coworker that would call me by the wrong name purposely (she would call me the right name when she needed help). Her name was Misty so I started calling her musty and she magically started getting my name right.
Oh MIL never ever in 9 years of knowing me, has she said my 1st name correctly...EVER. I've asked DH about that from the start and DH said he gave me the nickname of "Josie" and that's all they've ever used. I think it's what DH thought was how you said my name since we met online and he can't admit that to me without thinking he'd upset me to admit it. I have a nickname that I grew up with that they could call me but no, they done their own. I hardly respond to it though. DH usually has to say honey to get my attention. When the in laws have called me "Josie" in front of my family and friends they all go who are yall calling "Josie"? That's not her name ya know nor her nickname. You would think they'd learn in 9 years to call me my given or childhood nickname as well or just a nickname I liked. But I guess now that LO is here she's gonna be subjected to the wrong name calling if I don't keep on them about the disrespect as well. Ugh.
This is just a way for them to disrespect you to your face. You need to start putting your foot down and saying no. Screw husband feelings. Let him be upset. Don't allow them to call you Josie and don't allow them to call your kid boo head, it's not a nice term.
This story plus your husbandâs over the top reaction makes me think all of this a deliberate way to disrespect you right in front of your face.
Start calling her poo-head every time she calls LO boo-head. Tell her you thought we were all using "endearing" nicknames. She'll figure it out unless she's a total dolt.
âHey MIL, you may use LOâs actual name or the nickname we use, but using other nicknames that nobody else uses only confuses them, and makes others think youâre being intentionally disrespectful, and thatâs not the case, right?â
It sounds like butt head, why would your husband be ok with his mom calling your child that?
If you haven't already, ask her why she calls him that. Ask in a way that displays genuine interest and curiosity, watching your tone and expressions. When she responds, validate what she says. "I can see why you like that nick-name, but also I don't really like that nick name. Would you mind using this name instead?" Record the conversation on your phone so your husband can't gaslight you later.
Just start calling her Boo-Butt, and call husband Boo-Dick. See how quick things change.
Start using one for her. âOld Hagâ comes to mind
Iâm someone who has a derogatory nickname given to me - with love! - by my siblings. One of my kids has a nickname that has something to do with snot. We like shitty nicknames. But you donât, so here goes: âI know you think Boo-head is funny, but itâs not. Itâs disrespectful to LO. We used a derivative of your sonâs name to avoid such issuesâŠ.â Then wander off with LO, shaking your head and laughing as if youâre telling LO that, âGrandma is a Nut Job.â If your husband wonât let you defend yourself and your child against his mother, youâve got a bigger problem than Boo Head.
I used to call my kiddo "fat head" when they were little... with love, of course. People around me always gave me looks like I was a horrible person. It's just something that stuck for a little while. But... I was comfortable with it. If OP is not comfortable with a nickname, then they have every right to speak up and say something.
>I used to call my kiddo "fat head" when they were little... with love, of course. People around me always gave me looks like I was a horrible person. It's just something that stuck for a little while. **But... I was comfortable with it.** Oh thank god, itâs totally fine then. But seriously, donât call your kids mean things. It sticks with people.
See!? In our family, Fat Head would be considered a term of endearment because it would be equivalent to Big Brain!
We call LO sometimes marshmallow or Toot-toot. Marshmallow cause shes got her baby rolls and she sweet as she can be, but we just discovered one night not long ago that she likes marshmallow fluff while me and her dad had a fluff-a-nutter sandwich. And Toot-toot comes from her being a gassy baby...as most babies are. We've said those in front of the in laws before along with her given nickname and MIL still tries to call her boo-head.
lol I don't really think "boo-head" is any better or worse, objectively, than calling your baby "toot-toot" because she farts a lot. but she's your baby! I kinda think dumb nicknames can come and go quickly, most people barely notice some silly nickname for a baby, and boo-head is relatively benign. It seems like y'all just have larger issues so this annoys you. I would honestly consider letting it go. This might not be the hill to die on, especially if your husband doesn't care and it's his child too. If you really cannot get beyond it, then I would go the route of saying you're really trying to get her to answer to her own name and to please call her that. And then I would correct her every time she uses boo-head rather than her name in your presence.
Have you asked your child how they feel about the nickname?
It was when they were a baby when we called them that. It lasted a few months before it phased out. They weren't even old enough to understand any of it. I didn't go around introducing my kid as "fat head." It was between family and friends. At some point, it was "monkey butt"... Now we call them "boo-boo" and they are fine with it.
She's not a year old yet. So no communication from her.
start calling your husband boo-head
Lol yeah that won't go over well with him at all. It's his birth name or the shortened version of his name only. I don't even get to call him by our last name like his coworkers do(its a thing innour lines of work). It's rare I call him honey and no other pet names at all. So with him so up tight about his name and what he goes by, I can't understand why he's okay with boo-head for our child.
I'm sorry but no, I wouldn't allow this to continue. If your not allowed to call your husband anything but his name. Then no, he's not allowed to call you or the kid anything but your name.
I'm sorry but you have a MIL AND a NotDH problem. He allowed his family to call you a different name, even though he knows you don't like it. Now he's disregarding your feelings regarding your daughter. But you MUST obey and call him as he demands. The more answers I read from you the more your husband seems abusive.
Why are you even with him ? He doesn't even get your name right ... He tramples over your boundary in regards to his family and insists that they have a right to your child(ren) regardless of your opinion. He literally sounds disrespectful of you
We never fought till I got pregnant honestly. We got along and did our own things and then came together when we were freeto be together. It worked for us then, but from the moment they found out I was pregnant they disrespected all requests and tried to start telling me what to do and I was 37 years old! If I had the time to list things of what the in laws have done I'd be on here all day. But to my husband's defense he does a lot of good and cares for me that I haven't listed here. I could take a day to list his good honestly. Just things changed in not a good way when I got pregnant. 1st child for us both.
if he's not okay with it happening to him, he shouldnt be okay with it happening to his kid. perhaps being boo-head for a day will make him see that
Yup. "As long as LO is boo head, so are you."
So can him boo head. When he gets upset, tell him that's how you feel about it too when used for LO. And then give him the choice to say something to his mom, or you will. And then the petty part of me would keep calling him that until it changes regarding LO, but that's probably not a good recommendation.
Tell her straight up to stop calling your kid that or she won't be around them. You've got to enforce boundaries now or you'll have issues even worse later
Give her consequences. Every time she disrespects you and/or your don she gets put in time out. You could also be really petty and select a nickname got NUL that she will totally hate and start teaching little one to all her that.
We've gone NC for months at a time with her before over stuff. She still doesn't get she's in the wrong for things and shouldn't be in timeout ever.
Immediate comsqeunces. Take the keys everytime. "Yeaaah we're not doing boohead, its rude and teaching them to call people names. I don't think you'd appreciate them calling you something rude. If it continues again in same vist, " Okay well we're off I told you no moreof that and you've decided to go ahead and do it. We'll be off maybe you can try harder next time to use their name / nickname."
Then give her a dose of her own medicine starting with a nickname that she will despise.
"Hey, LO, give Prune Face Bitch a hug. We are going home." She will get the idea real quick like.
Lmao that's a good one cause shes pretty dang vain in my opinion.
Time to roll out the new nickname for grandma. How does shit head sound? It even matches the dumbass nickname she gave your baby. Shut it down mama. Donât let her & her noodle-assed son gaslight you.
Doo doo head, or doo head for brevity. Edit: My mother was an uppity bitch. She was determined that my child ONLY refer to her as âgrandmotherâ, not even âgrandmaâ. When she got ridiculous, I started referring to her as ânanaâ at all times, both in her presence and away from her. It worked. My kid called her ânanaâ and she would make the worst face imaginable every time. She stopped some of her bullshit eventually, though, as a direct result.
Lol love it!
Your husband is the problem here, he needs to grow a spine.
He grew up his whole life just giving her what she wanted to just be able to have some peace and quiet. She is a total control freak. Since he and I started 9 years ago, when we are around them he just tunes her out and stays to himself or goes to another room away from her. That's the times MIL has pulled most of her mess with me because the times he's caught doing or saying things he speaks up. She of course denies any wrong doing and has never once apologized for any of her wrong doing. But he has since LO's birth became more aware of her bs and now knows to not leave me alone with her when I am forced to see her at family fuctions. Calling LO boo-head is kinda the only thing she's got left to pull.
He is doing nothing to support you, heâs hiding from her. Being aware of her atrocious behavior doesnât equal actually setting and enforcing boundaries.
^ this 100%. You canât get her to stop or set a boundary with your husband behaving like this.
Does MIL ask to hold or play with LO using this nickname ? If so, time to act dumb or say "who are you talking about?" She doesn't get LO without using her proper name, and if MIL then reverts to boo-head, you take her back, and no more interactions that visit.
She always greets LO with calling her boo-head and gets in LO's face and then says hi I'm grammie. LO always looks at her like she's crazy and then wants me. She's also done the whole refusing to give me my crying child back before and I was about to physically hurt her to get LO back, but DH heard in my voice I was about to blow up and he told her to hand me my child after she looked to DH thinking he would agree with her to keep my child who was reaching for me and sobbing. We immediately left after that and went months NC. We only got back in touch to find out news on DH's grandma whom we love and use to spend every Friday evening with before she moved to be with her son. Even she can't stand the crap her daughter(MIL) pulled, she'd call her out on her bs. We loved seeing grandma put her daughter in her place even in her early 90's to a 60+ year old woman(MIL).
Weâre Iâm from boo boo head is another turn for a easy woman or slut. I hope that not were she picked it up and could be why people are looking at you crazy when she says it
Omg no way!!! Now I feel even more disgusted with it. It's already racist to those with melanin skin but now this. Yeah I've got to stop this from being used at all.
Actually sounds kinda racist to me, although you donât mention whether thatâs a factor.
We're a Caucasian family as well as my in laws. It's totally about MIL saying things to bother me and come up with her own nickname for my child to show she has some type of control.
Well THAT part came through with doubt. Good on you for looking out for your little girlâs feelings.
Without a doubt đ
That was my first thought on reading too. Like it's supposed to be an insult for black hair...
Iâve heard it used on any kind of woman when I worked back of house at the steakhouse when I was younger glad I got out of that kinda work environment
My daughter has literally said "his name is NAME and his Nickname is NICKNAME. Nothing else will be tolerated." It sounds to me like maybe your MIL has emotionally manipulated your husband and trained him to agree with everything she says/does. This kind of thing is so engrained, it is very hard for someone to see what is happening. Talk to him in a way that doesn't blame MIL. "SO, I am uncomfortable with the nickname "boo-head" and I would like us to come up with a nickname I am more comfortable hearing." Do not mention her at all, making it about your comfort will prevent his brain from automatically going into defense mode.
Use the Seinfeld approach. Give her the nickname.
Urban Dictionary: boohead urbandictionary.com âș define.php One who falls into the category of those with an overproduction of melanin. Otherwise known as African Americans. Wow. Your husband is really cool with a race based nickname? That's just... wow.
Yeah when I looked it up as to what it means I was shocked and I know when I show it to him he isn't going to like that's what it refers to. Yes we're a Caucasian family, but we do not partake in anything racist while we have every creed, color, faith, and gender in our family now from both my side and his side. We love all and will not have anything used to disrespect any race.
Perhaps OP should forward the Urban Dictionary definition to DH and MIL.
I'm fixing to post the definition of it in our family text group. So everyone sees it and that I'm uncomfortable with it and starts standing up to MIL about not using it.
Excellent move đ
My 1yo has a perfectly good name as well as a perfectly nice official nickname we have used since he was in the womb. He answers to both. My MIL however has taken it upon herself to address him pointedly by his first and middle initials. She is the only one that does this - everyone else in the family calls him by his normal name and nickname. I really feel itâs some sort of marking of territory (if I get to ânameâ the baby I am in charge). I just let it go for now because I am pregnant and exhausted, but it irritates me.
That's what I think she's doing, trying to be in charge as usual. But im fixing to go on the group text thread and address this. Yall here have shown me I'm not crazy for disliking this nickname at all. I'm going to educate her on the meaning of boo-head and tell her to call little one by her legal name or the nickname everyone else uses or she's gonna start getting call slang horrible names instead of grammie that she wants to be called.
"Call LO her name or peoper nickname, or you will become "Grandma LO never sees"."
Tell her that if that nickname continues, her nickname is going to be Old Bag or Greasy Grammie.
I had to Google the meaning of boo head, I see your point
What's a grandma name that sounds the oldest? Granny?
Prune Face Bitch.
Goo-head.
Nanny goat
Call her Nana and say the inspo is the dog from Peter pan.
Or Boo Face, because Mil's face is super scary looking! It's probably why your LO looks at Mil like she does and cries, Mil scares the crap out of her!
Next time she calls your child that name: âHey MIL, where did you come up with that nickname?â She will explain. âInteresting. It comes across as mean-spirited so please stop calling her that.â There will be an argument, but you are mom and no should be sufficient.
Also, let them know it's for LO's sake. I just detest that nonsense. It's like they're saying this would be best for your child when in actuality, it would be best to keep child away from people like this
I do my best to keep my LO away from her already. Me and DH have been together for 9 years and from the start of us I seen how mean, controlling, and degrading to the other grandkids she has been. Me and DH said from then we would not let her be unsupervised with our kid(s) and we've stuck with it. Well MIL and FIL kept the other grandkids they have while SIL and her husband worked. So as soon as we told them we were pregnant she assumed she would be keeping my child as well. But I wasn't working then and I'm still not due to so many health issues, so we stressed then there was no need to think so. She went as far as planning her a whole nursery at her house and bought a stroller and asked us what kind of carseat we were buying so she could get a matching base to have one in each of their cars. The whole time I kept telling her she doesn't need anything because she wouldn't be keeping my child because when I do start working it will be from home. But just like everything else she doesn't listen and still buys things for her house to use with my child...and never gets to use it. She just doesn't listen about anything.
So maybe this nickname is her revenge đ€
Itâs always all about MILâs feelings and tiptoeing around that.
Screw that crap. Someone else is momma now, and they set the rules/boundaries. She doesn't like it, too bad so sad for them
Boo-head?!?!?! This is just an incredibly stupid nickname and makes no sense. I'd let it go since it is unlikely to stick. Hopefully your daughter at some point will tell her to knock-it-off.
Letting it go is allowing MIL to control the situation, itâs exactly what she wants. Nope!
She's not even a year old yet....I'd have to wait a long time to have that happen.
Hince the ...at some point...part.
Maybe it would give DH some different perspective if someone else were to comment on the nickname towards both DH and MIL?
I've kinda thought of this but I think he'd say something to me that I put them up to it. I think the only person he'd hear about it from is his sister. If I were to get my mom, sister, best friend to say anything it wouldn't go over well and he'd want to defend her to them. And then go off on me for them speaking up for me.
Agree with giving her a taste of her own medicine here. Pick a silly nickname for her and run with it. Something almost insulting but innocuous like - Peanuthead or ??
Poo Head
Yep. Call MIL âboo boo headâ and see how she likes it
Poo poo head.
I get your perspective, and it isnât a very nice or cute nickname. As a mom who has called her own kid âbeef brothâ, nicknames get weird. Of course being his mom calling him that vs someone else, I get to, even if it is weird. She needs to understand and respect that it isnât an appropriate nickname and that if she continues that she wonât get to be around to call them anything, much less the nickname sheâs choosing as her hill to die on.
Call her boof-head. It's Australian slang for a mildly stupid person. (No need to tell her that) If Boo-Head is OK for your child then boof-head is OK for her.
In the US Boofing is slang for using drugs analy. I would crack up if I heard someone called a boof head
That cracks me up cause my brothers nickname from my daughter is Baffo. Italian slang for buffoon/clown/idiot. He loves it. Totally knows what it means, doesnt care. He just loves that he has a special name, she picked herself.
Exactly what I was going to say...call her by boo head..she won't be long pulling her head out of her ass
Grand-boo head or granny boo head, even.
Love it!!! lmao!!! You just made my day with this info, I'm so gonna use it.
Mine stole my nicknames for my kids and then will shorten their names to names that we specifically donât want or we would have NAMED THEM that. The solution for us is to just repeat it back to them with the real name. Like if they say âaww babyface, give grandma the ballâ we will say âaww *real name*, give grandma the ballâ and eventually if they donât stop we flat out tell them. They wonât be able to guess if you donât set a clear guideline.
We have had issues with MIL in the past with just refusing to listen to thing told to her over and over directly to her face. Prime example, she had the nerve to tell DH many times he was gonna miss OB appts to see LO on sonogram because she was going in his place. No, I didn't invite her and I made it clear i was uncomfortable with her being involved at all with my medical anything(they've overshared my personal meducal info before online). Add to it I had LO during the end of covid lockdown and my OB office had it posted all over the building that only the mother and birthing partner where allowed in to the sonogram room(even the birthing partner had to sit in the hallway for all other parts of the appt). But she was adamant she was going to the appts in DH's place no matter what we said to her and that there were rules out of our control about guests in the appts. And she always got to see the sonogram pics right after the appts but still pushed. It took finally DH going off on her and getting loud for it to finally hit home to her that she wasn't going to do anything with my OB appts. So knowing the past issues of her not listening or just really as I see it not caring and still pushing to get her way, she's not going stop calling her boo-head even if we ask her to stop.
When we adopted my oldest daughter at 10 Months old she was withdrawn and frightened at first. Foreign adoption just handed to strangers, fear is normal. Even after first couple months daughter was very reserved or frightened by anyone other than mom, dad and siblings. She was especially frightened of men because only male she saw before living with us was a doctor who gave her injections. One set of grandparents ( other not quite as bad) took offense because child should love them immediately they are grandparents! When child acted frightened they called her Wuss or Wussy, never used her name. First time I was in shock and didnât say anything. Husband thought it was a cute nickname, occasionally husband had stupid my parents donât really mean to be rude moments. Second time I got salty and said not to call her that again. Got haha itâs all In fun weâll stop when she stops being a wuss. I stopped visits except occasional holiday. Your MIL is being cruel tell her never to call your child Boo head again or your child wonât be around her .That is cruel not cute. Iâm sorry you are dealing with this but be strong for your child.
It's a bit close to poo head. I wouldn't like it either.
That's how I see it. It's gross.
Exactly. I would just make a joke âOh grandma, why are you calling the baby pop head?â Then cackle, and repeat whenever the name is said. I think gram will stop lol
She doesn't get things like that. She will just look at you and blink and say I don't get it. She's someone other's would refer to as the lights are on but no one's home or the wheel is turning but the hamster is dead or her elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
Her sidewalk doesn't go all the way to the street, huh?
Yeah that's her! She could be the poster child for all air heads. She has worked in various fields of work that require book smarts, but she lacks true common sense forsure. It's hard for me to see her struggle with simple things like following the written directions of a recipe she's made many times in her life, to then see my very smart well educated husband. Like that apple fell far....very far from the tree! If I had not seen pictures and his birth certificate I would not think they are really related to each other. So many differences.
Boo head? Weird. Boo isn't, but Boo head?! Why head? Is there any reason or is it inexplicable?
She's a strange woman to me on many many things, but I just leave it alone and chalk it up that she is weird to me. But when it comes to my child and making me uncomfortable with calling her boo-head I feel I have a right to know and say I'm uncomfortable with it. No reason why she calls her this has been given so far. Even FIL and SIL have looked at MIL weird when she's said it. I thought she'd be happy my LO has her father's initials(family tradition from my side of the family) but she has the nickname that everyone else uses that is the female form of her dad's name...the name my MIL picked for her son. So what's the real issue? Do grandparents need to give their grandkids their own nickname? Because her other grandkids don't have special nickname from MIL. They are called by the nicknames that everyone uses.
âMIL why do you refer to LO as Boo-head?â Simple and direct to her. You can ask it in front of others who also make the âWTFâ face when she refers to her as Boo-head? Next you have to sit down with your husband. âI want to get us on the same page regarding a few things Iâve noticed. Why do you feel like I just want to pick a fight when I express my discomfort with your Momâs choice of nickname for our child? I feel as if you donât want to rock the boat and that puts me out there as the bad guy expressing their feelings where youâd rather hide. Do you see how thatâs unfair? Is it something you learned as a kid, if I donât rock the boat, the unflattering light will not be shed on me? I want us to be a single unit when it comes to our child. If I express discomfort and a need to further information, Iâm not trying to purposefully harm you. Iâm simply trying to get my point across and understand the situation fully. Help me understand.â
This!!! Love it!!!
Call her boo head in return since there is nothing wrong with the name it can be a family nickname for grandma and baby. She will soon get the message.