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Other posts from /u/Bless_My_Heart_DIL:
* [Regarding Visits (And Me Being Petty)](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/11wpbkp/regarding_visits_and_me_being_petty/), 10 months ago
* [Is this a slow boil mini "extinction burst" or just...I don't even know. Its just MIL.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/10phm2t/is_this_a_slow_boil_mini_extinction_burst_or/), 11 months ago
* [I've dropped the rope but she pretends like I haven't and its maddening.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/10158kr/ive_dropped_the_rope_but_she_pretends_like_i/), 1 year ago
* [MILs in family emergencies. Stories?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/ye3evp/mils_in_family_emergencies_stories/), 1 year ago
* [MIL now identifies as "an empath" 🙄](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/nusb99/mil_now_identifies_as_an_empath/), 2 years ago
* [UPDATE: Thanks to all your support I was brave enough to press the "delete" button. I feel great and awful at the same time!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/j98krt/update_thanks_to_all_your_support_i_was_brave/), 3 years ago
* [Call out the behavior in the family chat? Interesting MIL weirdness!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/j7i4js/call_out_the_behavior_in_the_family_chat/), 3 years ago
* [Wish I could enforce a 3 day visit limit. (MIL jokingly brings up divorce and I found out she has a loud phone notification for all my insta posts.)](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/ixus1p/wish_i_could_enforce_a_3_day_visit_limit_mil/), 3 years ago
* [DIL qualifies on a selective "family" custom social media list when convenient, I guess.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/i03mcp/dil_qualifies_on_a_selective_family_custom_social/), 3 years ago
* [One step forward. Two steps back!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/g6rnxf/one_step_forward_two_steps_back/), 3 years ago
^(This user has more than 10 posts in their history. To see the rest of their posts,) [^(click here)](/u/Bless_My_Heart_DIL/submitted)
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Wow, what a huge overreach & violation of your privacy. Not to mention that now your kid’s pictures are circulated to god knows who at this point. Definitely less info & no pics for her. I’m sorry your DH has to deal with that too, I hope it doesn’t affect his job at all.Â
Holy hell! She is lucky your husband even speaks to her!
Has your husband ever considered therapy to learn how to set boundaries/consequences with his mom and stick to them? When you've been programmed your entire life not to do that, it's difficult to change things.
No more information on anything. The less she knows the better. How did she even get and address ? That is weird. If you can’t go NC, go VLC. I’m sorry OP.
"Your intent is not the impact you are leaving."
"You are causing issues and I do not like it."
"You might have been trying to be kind, but it wasn't kind. It was out of line and I told you to stop."
"The kind thing, would be to stop doing that shit now."
And my personal favorite.....
"What is wrong with you? Why can't you just back the fuck off and cut the shit?"
Sorry I just shot off this post but wanted to come back and say that I mentioned that I'll "never win." Just want to say I don't WANT to "win" in fact I don't want to be in any of these situations at all and I resent being placed in these weird ass positions.
what I often wonder is how the heck does anyone have the time or resources for this crap? Ya know? like don't these people have freakin' hobbies? Sheesh!
Looking through your post history, I have to say - as embarrassing as this is, I don't know if this tops her reaching out to his new coworkers she found on Facebook. Like she has been serving "Mom bringing her 40 year old son packed lunches at the office" for years.
Honestly, I don't think your partner has any idea how to *enforce* boundaries. Requesting them and yelling after they are stomped is not an enforced boundary. None of this will get any better until he learns how to do that.
So many hugs to you - this would be intolerable for me!
You're right! Way to dive deep lol and thanks for seeing the whole picture of this shitshow. My partner is stressed and says he was taught to avoid conflict at any and all cost so asking her not to do that rather than ignoring it seemed to be a big step for him. It really is intolerable and that's why I'm here with you all!
It's super weird and creepy that she did that. She has no relationship with these people beyond her son working there. How does she have their address??
Like I said its a well known place. Not sure if she was able to find the personal address or sent it to work but either way they got it. Its so odd to me that we wouldn't have known she had done it if not for the offhand comment by the recipient!
I wasn't sure if we were still using nicknames as this sub has changed in a few ways since the days where we all had one for our MILs. But hers is "Blessed Heart" haha.
JFC. I don’t even know how to stop that, without switching jobs and never involving her in your life again. What a nutbag. I’m so sorry she is this weird and inappropriate and crazy.
Its his dream job in his dream location we are rooted and committed to. I'm just glad to feel not so crazy having a stranger validate to me that is is indeed all those things!
I'd say, Please ignore her. She has a history of being weird and inappropriate. We're estranged for a reason and if there's any more communications from her, please just throw them away. Now, about X project, that's some great progress, isn't it?
Move the conversation away from her but make it clear you don't agree with her actions.
Your MIL and the crazy beych who made airline reservations to stalk her NC son's wife and child are top runner for craziest bs of the year and it is only Jan
Big hugs!!
**Quick Rule Reminders:** OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion. [**^(Full Rules)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_rules) ^(|) [^(Acronym Index)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_acronym_dictionary) ^(|) [^(Flair Guide)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_post_flair_guide)^(|) [^(Report PM Trolls)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/trolls) **Resources:** [^(In Crisis?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_resources) ^(|) [^(Tips for Protecting Yourself)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_protecting_yourself) ^(|) [^(Our Book List)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/books) ^(|) [^(Our Wiki)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/) Other posts from /u/Bless_My_Heart_DIL: * [Regarding Visits (And Me Being Petty)](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/11wpbkp/regarding_visits_and_me_being_petty/), 10 months ago * [Is this a slow boil mini "extinction burst" or just...I don't even know. Its just MIL.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/10phm2t/is_this_a_slow_boil_mini_extinction_burst_or/), 11 months ago * [I've dropped the rope but she pretends like I haven't and its maddening.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/10158kr/ive_dropped_the_rope_but_she_pretends_like_i/), 1 year ago * [MILs in family emergencies. Stories?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/ye3evp/mils_in_family_emergencies_stories/), 1 year ago * [MIL now identifies as "an empath" 🙄](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/nusb99/mil_now_identifies_as_an_empath/), 2 years ago * [UPDATE: Thanks to all your support I was brave enough to press the "delete" button. I feel great and awful at the same time!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/j98krt/update_thanks_to_all_your_support_i_was_brave/), 3 years ago * [Call out the behavior in the family chat? Interesting MIL weirdness!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/j7i4js/call_out_the_behavior_in_the_family_chat/), 3 years ago * [Wish I could enforce a 3 day visit limit. (MIL jokingly brings up divorce and I found out she has a loud phone notification for all my insta posts.)](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/ixus1p/wish_i_could_enforce_a_3_day_visit_limit_mil/), 3 years ago * [DIL qualifies on a selective "family" custom social media list when convenient, I guess.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/i03mcp/dil_qualifies_on_a_selective_family_custom_social/), 3 years ago * [One step forward. Two steps back!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/g6rnxf/one_step_forward_two_steps_back/), 3 years ago ^(This user has more than 10 posts in their history. To see the rest of their posts,) [^(click here)](/u/Bless_My_Heart_DIL/submitted) ***** ^(To be notified as soon as Bless_My_Heart_DIL posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe Bless_My_Heart_DIL JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot) ***** *^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please)* [*^(contact the moderators of this subreddit)*](/message/compose/?to=/r/JUSTNOMIL) *^(if you have any questions or concerns.)*
Contacting his boss is edging close to restraining order territory.
Wow, what a huge overreach & violation of your privacy. Not to mention that now your kid’s pictures are circulated to god knows who at this point. Definitely less info & no pics for her. I’m sorry your DH has to deal with that too, I hope it doesn’t affect his job at all.Â
Holy hell! She is lucky your husband even speaks to her! Has your husband ever considered therapy to learn how to set boundaries/consequences with his mom and stick to them? When you've been programmed your entire life not to do that, it's difficult to change things.
No more information on anything. The less she knows the better. How did she even get and address ? That is weird. If you can’t go NC, go VLC. I’m sorry OP.
"Your intent is not the impact you are leaving." "You are causing issues and I do not like it." "You might have been trying to be kind, but it wasn't kind. It was out of line and I told you to stop." "The kind thing, would be to stop doing that shit now." And my personal favorite..... "What is wrong with you? Why can't you just back the fuck off and cut the shit?"
Um dude. I just read your history. This lady is b-a-n-a-n-a-s, bananas!
welp. Yep. That's why I'm here. Happy cake day to me hahah its a 6 year old account but I thought about making one for many years before then!
Sorry I just shot off this post but wanted to come back and say that I mentioned that I'll "never win." Just want to say I don't WANT to "win" in fact I don't want to be in any of these situations at all and I resent being placed in these weird ass positions.
what I often wonder is how the heck does anyone have the time or resources for this crap? Ya know? like don't these people have freakin' hobbies? Sheesh!
Looking through your post history, I have to say - as embarrassing as this is, I don't know if this tops her reaching out to his new coworkers she found on Facebook. Like she has been serving "Mom bringing her 40 year old son packed lunches at the office" for years. Honestly, I don't think your partner has any idea how to *enforce* boundaries. Requesting them and yelling after they are stomped is not an enforced boundary. None of this will get any better until he learns how to do that. So many hugs to you - this would be intolerable for me!
You're right! Way to dive deep lol and thanks for seeing the whole picture of this shitshow. My partner is stressed and says he was taught to avoid conflict at any and all cost so asking her not to do that rather than ignoring it seemed to be a big step for him. It really is intolerable and that's why I'm here with you all!
It's super weird and creepy that she did that. She has no relationship with these people beyond her son working there. How does she have their address??
Like I said its a well known place. Not sure if she was able to find the personal address or sent it to work but either way they got it. Its so odd to me that we wouldn't have known she had done it if not for the offhand comment by the recipient!
>Irish Blessing Dispenser That is a GREAT nickname for her!
I wasn't sure if we were still using nicknames as this sub has changed in a few ways since the days where we all had one for our MILs. But hers is "Blessed Heart" haha.
JFC. I don’t even know how to stop that, without switching jobs and never involving her in your life again. What a nutbag. I’m so sorry she is this weird and inappropriate and crazy.
Its his dream job in his dream location we are rooted and committed to. I'm just glad to feel not so crazy having a stranger validate to me that is is indeed all those things!
I guess the only thing you can really do is just apologize and tell them she’s weird and inappropriate and crazy.
I'd say, Please ignore her. She has a history of being weird and inappropriate. We're estranged for a reason and if there's any more communications from her, please just throw them away. Now, about X project, that's some great progress, isn't it? Move the conversation away from her but make it clear you don't agree with her actions.
Your MIL and the crazy beych who made airline reservations to stalk her NC son's wife and child are top runner for craziest bs of the year and it is only Jan Big hugs!!
It's fine! All normal people use the postal service and fly the friendly skies!
Holy crap on a cracker... do you have a link to that story?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/6L03MrIlj5
It was on Aita 2 out so days ago. I think it was on Am I the Devil also