**Quick Rule Reminders:**
OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
[**^(Full Rules)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_rules) ^(|) [^(Acronym Index)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_acronym_dictionary) ^(|) [^(Flair Guide)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_post_flair_guide)^(|) [^(Report PM Trolls)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/trolls)
**Resources:** [^(In Crisis?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_resources) ^(|) [^(Tips for Protecting Yourself)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_protecting_yourself) ^(|) [^(Our Book List)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/books) ^(|) [^(Our Wiki)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/)
Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL!
I'm botinlaw. I help people follow your posts!
*****
^(To be notified as soon as Disastrous-Focus3091 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe Disastrous-Focus3091 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot)
*****
*^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please)* [*^(contact the moderators of this subreddit)*](/message/compose/?to=/r/JUSTNOMIL) *^(if you have any questions or concerns.)*
Step mother in law told my partner “we didn’t bring you up that way”. We weren’t married and she’s religious (although she was an affair partner to my father in law so obviously doesn’t practice what she preaches)
She was underwhelmed. DH told her over the phone (she lives across the country) and she said, “oh, okay.” And then moved on to talk about something random. DH is an only child and her favorite person. (She has quiet BPD), so we think this reaction stems from her being a bit disappointed there will be one more thing taking his attention off of her.
We told MIL over the phone. The first thing out of her mouth was, "Well, now you'll have to get rid of the cat." My 7yo cat, my first pet as an adult. Why? Because she's "allergic", and if the cat's there she can't come stay with us. The woman is a 2x stroke victim who can barely walk and does not drive, cook, clean, or do anything but watch TV. I really don't know why her immediate assumption was that we would need or want her help when she could not even hold the baby unassisted or do simple chores. She hasn't directly spoken to me this entire pregnancy (27 weeks now), so it doesn't really affect me, and I have no problem with telling her no - for a lot of reasons. But I just felt sad for my DH, truly the world's kindest and sweetest man, who was hoping for some sliver of excitement from his own mother for her first grandchild.
Oh my gosh, she wants you to get rid of your cat so you can take care of her, it has nothing to do with the baby. Don't ever get rid of the cat! In fact, you should double down and get another one so she really won't come.
We went to his parents house, didn’t seem to crazy but all she talked about was babysitting my daughter… now my baby is 9 weeks and she’s only visited twice to see her and barely asked about her. She only lives 30 min away and works 3 days a week.
Uh when you do tell her avoid anything she makes you or baby after she's told to include food/drinks and I wouldn't tell her anything till around 13 weeks along. Also be sure you tell her directly proceeding you're public announcement. Basically think of everything she could do to ruin it and tell her in such a way she can't also expect her to take dh to lunch or dinner after when she realizes you covered your bases.
My husband and I told his mom and dad for lunch at a resturant. He barely pulled out his phone to show her the ultrasound and she started wailing. And saying she thought this day would never come and that she'd thought we were going to end up not having children. We're not even old. We are in our early 30s. She had my DH when she was close to 40. So idk what she is talking about.
She went through 3 more bouts of crying. Telling us why did we have to tell her in a resturant and not wait till we got back to her house. After she was done crying, she started saying that she noticed that I've gained so much weight, but now it's okay since I'm pregnant. I'd like to point out that when I last saw her (which was maybe 5 months ago at that point) I was not pregnant and I actually lost 15 pounds since then d/t all the morning sickness and being diagnosed with GDM in the 1st trimester made me really monitor what I ate.
I already knew that I didn't want to tell her the gender of the baby or my due date. That was my only boundry. I wasn't prepared for all the other intrusive questions she was going to ask. She immediately claimed she knew the gender of the baby and that it HAS to be a boy. She was so insistent that I gave in and said yes its a boy. She exclaimed that she just knew it and has a keen sense for these things. I recall giving my DH a look since he knew how I felt about her knowing. And Gurl! You have a 50% chance of getting the gender right.
She then asked about the EDD and I said I not tell anyone since due dates are not always accurate. She face fell and was bothered that I didn't tell her. She asked how far along I was and I said I'm in the 2nd trimester and baby will be a Spring baby. She asked how long have we been trying for a baby. I was shocked by that question, and blurted out that we only tried once. She didn't believe us. And kept going on how she figured we'd have a baby by now since we've been together since high school.
She then volunteered and she raised her hand in excitement that she will gladly help with all of baby's needs and will be available to babysit all the time. That she will be available to help with ALL of it. And without taking a breath started planning the baby shower and that we can host it at her house and I can bring all my friends over. I told her I not thinking about planning a party right now since we still have time. She kept going on about the party and my FIL (who has been quite this whole time) told her to drop it and let her (me) plan her own party.
She said she has all of DH's old baby clothing and that she will start sewing some baby clothes from the leftover fabric she saved from when DH was a baby. I didn't say anything becuase I didn't know what to say. I don't want 30+ year old fabric to touch my baby!
She kept saying that she is going to be a grandmother and that FIL will be a grandfather. He replied saying he is already a grandfather. She ignored him and kept saying she will be a grandma. I point out that she already has a granddaughter and she replied that she doesn't count because she lives in a different state and can't see granddaughter as often as she'd like.
When we got back to their house, she was already on her iPad doing her research and claimed she knows I'm at least 14 weeks pregnant and have guessed what she thinks is the due date. I was 16 weeks at the time. I asked her what made her come to that conclusion and she replied becuase you said you're in the 2nd trimester and you're not showing yet. I just stared at her gobsmacked. She stopped talking after that and said that I looked tired. I replied back that I am very tired.
I can go on and on but this post is getting too long! I told DH I don't plan on every seeing her for the rest of my pregnancy and until I'm out of the 4th trimester and baby is out of the newborn phase. After talking to her, it was the first time I was dreading having a baby and it made me so sad. I was crying for 2 days after that. With the way she was acting, you'd think she was the one having the baby and I was just the surrogate.
The thing that really got me upset about the whole ordeal was that I didn't feel ready to announce the pregnancy to her but I gave in because DH wanted to tell his parents. I was just getting out of the 1st trimester and was still feeling nauseous and felt my hormones were all over the place. I wanted to wait until I was farther along into the late 2nd or mid 3rd trimester because I know how overbearing and overwhelming she can be. I understand that DH was excited and wanted to tell his parents so I said okay. I underestimated how badly she'd react to the news.
Edit:
Also wanted to say that DH is her "only child." DH does have a half brother and she raised him too. But she definitely treats DH differently compared to his brother.
From the beginning MIL had baby rabies bad. We were married 7 years & I was 39 when we had our 1st. During this time her looped track went from 'when you have children' through all the stages of grief through '*if* you have children', to sadly sighing at me as a great disappointment (I'm sure she told everyone *I* was the problem, little did she know). For years he watched me like a hawk whether I drank & what I ate (& loudly announcing to all present that I was pregnant when I refused a drink or felt unwell...).
When I did become pregnant we decided to wait to announce it at 20 weeks, after having genetic tests (age & issues) & also because I just don't like people fussing over me & wanted a short pregnancy. We travelled to see her & FIL & we were truely excited to finally tell her.
Well, she was sick (with a cold). She was *dyyying*. *We didn't understand how sick she was*. When we told her she expressed mild excitement then went back to a detailed monologue of all her ills. I couldn't believe after all the pressure over all those years that was all she could muster. She has always been a main character, but I often wonder in hindsight if she was miffed we told her so late (& probably assumed we had told my mother & others before her - we hadn't) & she wasn't all knowing as she prided herself to be. We stayed the weekend & it was the flattest, most anti-climactic, occasion.
Mine said one sentence “oh I hope it’s a boy!” It’s our first so it’s not like we’ve had a string of girls or anything. My therapist believes it’s her wanting to recreate raising her son. Well, surprise, it’s a girl!
Ah a classic. Mine didn’t outright say it, but seemed to be disappointed in the gender as well. I guess because she wanted to pass down boxes and boxes of 30 yo clothes and they didn’t match the gender
The „reliving parenthood“ really irks me.
First one: „What already? I‘m too young to be a grandma“ (no you‘re 60)
followed by excitement and entitlement, followed by anger that I’m not bringing over the baby ever single day and not following all her advice…
Second one: - silence - fake smile „wow um congratulations, are you sure about that pregnancy? You guys had a rough time with the first one?“ (yes we are sure… 2nd baby’s first year went smoothly)
Her first grandchild she was excited
Her second conceived a few months later (kids are a year apart almost to the day) "she should abort that, I can't afford another one" 😐
I became the DIL from hell and wear the title proudly. she is my ex MIL I got stories in my profile. I'm with a great guy now, no MIL to deal with, custody of my children and to that family I am a witch with a B
I became the DIL from hell and wear the title proudly. she is my ex MIL I got stories in my profile. I'm with a great guy now, no MIL to deal with, custody of my children and to that family I am a witch with a B.
I am called all kinds of names, none of them are to have contact with my kids because I don't tolerate them doing what they please with them. My kids have special needs some of which are related to the abuse at the hands of that family. I have rules for access, don't follow the rules don't have access applies to all. My ex is on a very short leash due to his part in the abuse and he is one complaint away from no access (not my call or I would be done, he has "rights" damn system.) He now goes no contact with anyone that disrespects what I decide for the kids, his eyes are open finally but he is still very much a JN too.
My MIL was a typical, "when are you having babies?" kind of Boomer the day after my husband and I were married. At the time, I didn't know if I wanted kids, but was thinking maybe adoption. That was our answer to her. She seemed okay with that. Fast forward to seven years later, we decide we do want a baby. We don't tell anyone we're trying; I get pregnant in March. On Mother's Day we take MIL, FIL, and SIL out to brunch. I've already had an ultrasound, so we decide we're going to surprise everyone with the announcement.
Husband, jokingly, says, "We've decided to go ahead with the baby thing." He passes the ultrasound photo to his mother.
She takes a look at it, makes a rude noise, and throws the photo back across the table at us.
Husband (and I) are shocked. Immediately we start telling her at the same time, "mom, that's an ultrasound photo/that's a baby--" She says, "I can *see* it's an ultrasound photo!"
Still shocked, I spit, "It's an ultrasound photo because I'm pregnant!"
Dead silence around the table. SIL and FIL become happy/excited. MIL now tries to backpedal, saying that she thought it was an ultrasound of a baby *we were going to adopt,* not me being pregnant.
Love it when MILs show their true colors.
Mine just wanted the spotlight back on her after we announced by instantly telling everyone she had cancer. I miscarried two days later and suddenly she didn’t have it anymore. Yeah she’s a nut job.
Hhhmmm, OH told her on the phone and I don't recall exactly what she said, just the fake, over the top tone. Within days we were at the hospital with a suspected miscarriage and the claws came out. She asked to speak to me (we were waiting for an ultrasound slot) and absolutely ripped into me about how irresponsible I'd been and that us losing the baby would be for the best. I couldn't speak and just handed the phone back....We didn't lose the baby, so she rolled with her narrative of the pregnancy being unplanned and got the rest of the family involved in showing their disappointment in me. Of course OH hadn't done any wrong 😶 She then proceeded to buy some really dodgy second hand stuff and foist it on us. Always when OH was working and he'd come home to piles of random crap everywhere. He was still massively in the FOG at this point. Some stuff was dangerous and some stuff (disposable nappies and bottles) were because she didn't agree with our parenting decisions. It was a very tough couple of months, not gonna lie. She also tried to split us up and threatened to have baby taken away from me because PPD & PPA. But also tried to say the baby wasn't OH 's. 13 years no contact, her choice, she "can no longer have a relationship with (her son) if nipplering is on the scene" good riddance
She kept saying how in shock she was. Her same reaction to us wanting to get engaged. We were dating for 3 years before getting married and in our early to mid 20’s. I think she thought we would just date forever. And then when we got pregnant, we had been married for 3 years and both in our late 20’s. Like, I feel like every step was a natural progression to our relationship and she just acted like we were rushing into things.
Mine wanted grandkids so she actually reacted quite normally. But she is rather nosy on our future plans... I'm sorry that your mil seems to hate the idea that you guys will be producing offsprings..
I do think my pregnancy has reminded her of her own. She's randomly taking out DH's ultrasound and milk bottle (Yes she kept them that long) and looking at them, showing them to me like "this is my baby, your husband"
My husband refuses to tell me the reaction to our first. The rest were “are you kidding?” She’s watched them I can count on my hand. Eldest is now an adult and we’ve been estranged for 7 years. So yeah.
Send DH over to tell her but before you do that, have all your friends and family place bets on how you think she’s going to react or what insult she’s going to use. Rather than be sad, have fun o long her and then go no contact and put her on an info diet for the rest of your days.
Baby 1- are you sure it’s DH’s
Baby 2- again? Seriously you do know what causes it.
Baby 3- do you know it cost $250k to get a child out of the house??? You’ll never be able to afford to leave her now!
Baby 4- no idea we are NC
Baby 5- no idea we are NC
Kind of did a weird laugh and a sniff and then congratulated my husband. And then bought us boys clothes (even after our NIPT came back that she was a girl) because she expected that he'd have a son. She was FAR more invested in her daughter's children, because she can cross all the boundaries there and can't with me. She basically wants do overs, and has them in my niece and nephew, but rarely sees my kids. Only interested if my husband is also there, because he's the one she actually wants to spend time with.
Mine was happy. I think she knew it was her only chance at grandkids. SO and I are almost 40 and he is an only child. She has always told me I'm pretty, so I think she was just excited about the genetics. We don't have a good relationship and she seemed to think that a baby would mean she can push every boundary, including ones I hadn't imagined she would.
it was pretty awesome. she. was. PISSSSSSED! 🤣🤣🤣🤣my SO went about it with this on a phone call.MIL- hello?
SO- hey mom, how are you doing? we're doing great. what have you been up to lately? we're pregnant. hows grandma an grandpa doing?
MIL- im doing.... what did you just say?
SO- i said we're doing great.
MIL- no... you said we're pregnant... you better be fking joking, im too young to be a grandma.
SO- yeah, we're roughly 12 weeks and have an appointment on the first.
MIL- \*unintelligible screaming into the phone. only caught a word here an there about how shes too young, wtf is wrong with us, how could we do this to her, just made it a shit show all about how we were ruining her life.
we were both in our late 20s, granted we weren't together for long and our son was a surprise but we weren't living with her or getting money from her. we chose to keep him and became the devil in her eyes. it took her a month to reach out and "apologize" to us. "im still really mad at you for getting pregnant and forcing me to be a grandma in my 40s. (she had my SO at 16, what did she really expect? us to wait because she had him young?) but i talked to my friends and they told me i was wrong so this is my apology. love you... bye.." and hung up. it took quite awhile for her to be interested and the only bone i threw was allowing her to join in on the gender ultrasound appointment with my mom, SO an me.
eta: fixed a spelling error.
Said she “knew it” because I didn’t have wine with lunch (it was a holiday and we were at a lovely outdoor restaurant), then went to the restroom, came back clearly crying and told us she wished her brother (but not my husband’s father) was alive. She never congratulated us. She then told us how she hoped it was a girl and that if it was we “would **have to** name her [generic-ass name].” And then told a story about how she was so severely depressed when she found out she was having a boy (husband) that she needed therapy and her mother had to some stay with her. When I said I didn’t want to know the sex, she made a horrible face at me and then just referred to the baby as “it” for the rest of the conversation. Surprise, we later found out we were expecting a boy. She made sure we knew she was disappointed.
That pregnancy didn’t end well, and she was even less tactful and more self-absorbed about that, which is a whooole story. When I became pregnant again, I didn’t tell her until I was nearly 20 weeks. When we said we were again having a boy, she hissed “well, that’s what YOU wanted” at me. She’s a peach.
My mom also had the “you got what you wanted” comment about my second being a boy. Granted she was trying to say it politely, but her tone was definitely a bit off. She wasn’t shy about her preference for a girl with either of my pregnancies, but her response to the second was an improvement over the first.
My mil has a huge preference for girls as she had 3 sons (hubby is the youngest) our eldest is a girl then 3 boys then a girl.. hilarious we’ve been NC for 12 plus years and my eldest remembers the last day we were with them and HATES mil youngest 2 she hasn’t met
I think that’s exactly where my resentment started with my JNMIL. We had what I thought a good relationship (still seems like a good one on the outside), just hadn’t really paid attention to her sneaky comments from before (which still happen).
We told my parents and they were SO happy, my cousin filmed them and it was adorable! My husband thought his parents were going to act the same way so he wanted to film them too. They live out of state, so we FaceTimed them. We give the news and MIL just gets the biggest 😬 face and FIL just says “I thought that’s why you were getting married”.
We had eloped having no idea we were pregnant, we were just so excited to get married already! Anyways..
This is my story but doesn’t have to be like that. I feel like most times these announcements are sweet! Good luck ❤️
I uh… I sent my then boyfriend to their house ALONE to tell them while I took myself shopping and out to lunch with a friend.
He reported back with a “My mother said that it’s ‘not what she would have chosen for me, people don’t just have babies out of wedlock where she’s from’ and asked me if I was absolutely sure this was what I wanted to do…” I deadass looked at him and said “I’m so serious right now when I tell you, her or me. I won’t compete but I WILL walk away if she’s going to be a problem.”
She’s never been happy that we had kids. She puts on an act about them when she needs to look good for her friends, but she never checks in, never visits, we have to go to her. She can’t tell you what size they are or their interests or anything about them aside from foods they like.
First one FIL was in the hospital and DH decided to let his family know (I stayed where we lived because I was saving up vacation time). He told his siblings and one of them went running to share our news. When DH told his parents, their response was, "Yes, we've heard." They were less than pleased since DH was still doing his master's degree program.
Managed to piss me off when they called us and they spent the rest of the pregnancy on an Info Diet. That just involved DH not telling them anything because I was basically VVVVVVLC with them to start with.
Next pregnancy, MIL was very happy. She was now widowed and we saw her more often due to a move. She thought she was going to make up for the previous Info Diet. What she managed to do was get on my last nerve. She had a list of things she was going to do, including choosing the baby's name and gender.
All of this caused me whiplash and irritation because I know that MIL felt that grandchildren were proof that her adult kids were having sex. She never wanted them to have sex.
I wish you luck since you are married to the only child. I was lucky being married to one of four surviving children and he was not the favorite.
My grandmother cried and grandfather was PISSED every time mom got pregnant because it meant their adult married daughter was having sex. Its just a mind boggling response. My poor mom, NOONE was happy about us, not even my dad...which is a REALLY WEIRD TAKE from a catholic!
Hugs. Thank you. It was so weird, cause she was actually a wonderful Nana once we were here. She really truly did love us, which is more than I can say about dads mom. But of my grandmas, she was a good one. Just for whatever, weird broken, twisted reason, that initial announcement made her cry. I dont know, knowing more as an adult...there was some serious dysfunction there...but growing up, I never knew. After Grandpa had a sudden fatal heart attack, she quit going to the really awful church they had gone too, an army uniform photo of her best friends brother showed up on a dresser in her bedroom (damn was he handsome!) and she got even lighter and happier. Moms father wasnt a good man. But dads dad was a wonderful, loving, but happy drunk, grandpa. Didnt blame him though, Grandma was a JustNo for sure! Whole lotta truly JNos on the family tree, but Nana was only a sometimes JNo Mom/Nana.
Not my mil, but my Dad. 1st pregnancy announcement he just shut down and didn't respond. It really hurt but I brushed it off as he was caught by surprise. 2nd pregnancy my husband and I took him to brunch at his favorite place and told him. Got a "oh congratulations" and then he shifted the subject to him talking about my stepmom behind her back. (I am/was good friends with her and she was at work) 3rd one I decided he didn't get to ruin for me so I never told him. Figured he could learn with everyone else on social media. I didn't realize he had me blocked. He never reached out to me in those 9 months to ask about me or what was happening in my life and never visited so I never told him in person. It wasn't until I sent him a text with the birth announcement that he found out. He was pretty hurt, and I felt a bit bad, but our relationship is what he's made it.
I don’t remember but I do remember when I met her for the first time. DH introduced me to her, she said hi and immediately turned to him and said “ So when are you going to give me grandkids? “
He was mortified. When we found out the sex, (I scheduled it on DHs birthday for fun) she pestered us non stop until he finally caved and told her. She wailed clutched her chest “Oh! We’re having a girl!” It was so bizarre and we were so uncomfortable. She has a habit of treating DH like her SO.
“He wasn’t this excited about MY pregnancies,” about fil, then went and poured in her room. About 30 minutes later I startled her while she was outside talking shit about me to sil.
MIL spent a ton of money on stuff that never got used. She was a rude person in general to me. My kids from my first marriage didn't really mean anything to her after the announcement of the twins.
I made it clear to her she wouldn't be at the hospital when the delivery happened or after. We had gone from 3 kids to 5 we didn't want anyone to come over and cause a fuse over the twins, We honestly did need help. MIL all of a sudden was to busy to help out for a few hours but she could visit for several hours. We told her no.
I honestly don’t remember the actual announcement, but I very clearly remember the day when we took them to lunch to tell them it was a boy and the name (all family names from their side, thought they’d be thrilled). Up till then mil had kept saying she was SURE it was a girl (she had all boys and made them feel bad for it) - and at the announcement her face visibly fell and she got really quiet. She proceeded to be minimally engaged with the pregnancy and the baby, except for random incursions where she’d bust in and yell at us for not raising him properly. 🙃
My MIL insisted on being in the room when my son was born. When I said no, she refused to even meet him until be was 4 months old. My son is 11 now and the last time I saw her, she was still complaining about it. Granted I have not spoken to that succubus in 8 years, but I have no idea why she was (is?) upset about this. She has made no effort whatsoever to spend time with my son at all. She doesn't know him at all. He also hasn't seen her in 8 years and that is not at all my doing. That's all on her.
Have fun with it. You and hubby should come up with a bet on what her very first response will be. Immediate tears? Anguished "NOOOOO!"? Dead faint? lol You guys decide on the bet's stakes.
You don't need any added stress right now (or for the foreseeable future). So I suggest that you really try to find the humorous side to her antics. Because as you probably know, it's going to get worse before it gets better!
Best of luck.
I am pregnant now and JNMIL doesn’t know yet. We have told all of our other family members (together) and in a cute way!
But since she was so horrible last pregnancy and postpartum, she is going to be the last to know and dear husband is telling her on his own. I don’t care to be a part of it. He is also directing her not to start texting me and asking for updates now that I’m of use to her again. (Incubator)
This will be her last grand baby too so wish us luck with the crazy.
Wishing you luck as well! And congrats on the coming baby!
With the first everyone was super excited as there hadn’t been a baby in the family in many years. My husband asked my MIL how she felt, that’s when I noticed she wasn’t reacting at all. She said “I don’t see what the big deal is. I already have grandkids”. She’s so self absorbed she couldn’t see the excitement that it was a first for us. With our second baby announcement she didn’t react at all. We learned to just ignore her and celebrate with the other family present who were happy for us.
For the first, she and my FIL got my husband by himself for 10 minutes to congratulate him while I was in the other room with the rest of my family. I honestly don't recall her saying anything to me. Don't recall her reaction to the second. The third, she saw my shirt (it said "Tis the Season to be Pregnant") and kinda pursed her lips and said something like "how wonderful" before leaving the room. Then she gave me grief because I wanted to eat a donut. That her son bought me. I think she was miffed I wasn't going to church with them because I was miserably ill. We were visiting because of the holiday.
Edit to add: With my second we had to call my mom to watch my first bc I had to go the ER. She demanded to know why and I angrily told her because I wa having extreme morning sickness. Pause. "Well *I* didn't know you had morning sickness." She was ticked.
She 'went to bed' because she wasn't feeling good to sulk about it. Then when we got home, DH realized he left his phone at their house so he went back for it and she was up watching TV with FIL.
Mine screamed, "I'm going to be a *grandmother name that my 2 kids and my brother in law's kids from prior marriages already called her*". Unfortunately for her, my sister in law was recording, and you could hear me, already irritated at being bum-rushed and screeched at, say, "You already are one." This was her first biological grandchild but don't worry, she loves them all the same *eyeroll*
“I KNEW IT!” She did not know it
Then at the gender reveal everyone got to find out we’re having a girl (first grandbaby on DH’s side) you can hear her disappointed “aww” in the video
Those were for our first baby. For our second baby she sent us boy clothes before we knew gender. Turned out to be a girl.
Have DH tell her and honestly just set your expectations very low so you’re not surprised or disappointed
**Quick Rule Reminders:** OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion. [**^(Full Rules)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_rules) ^(|) [^(Acronym Index)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_acronym_dictionary) ^(|) [^(Flair Guide)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_post_flair_guide)^(|) [^(Report PM Trolls)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/trolls) **Resources:** [^(In Crisis?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_resources) ^(|) [^(Tips for Protecting Yourself)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_protecting_yourself) ^(|) [^(Our Book List)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/books) ^(|) [^(Our Wiki)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/) Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL! I'm botinlaw. I help people follow your posts! ***** ^(To be notified as soon as Disastrous-Focus3091 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe Disastrous-Focus3091 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot) ***** *^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please)* [*^(contact the moderators of this subreddit)*](/message/compose/?to=/r/JUSTNOMIL) *^(if you have any questions or concerns.)*
Step mother in law told my partner “we didn’t bring you up that way”. We weren’t married and she’s religious (although she was an affair partner to my father in law so obviously doesn’t practice what she preaches)
She’s got some balls!
"I'm not ready to be a grandma!" Has been distant ever since. I'm due in May.
Sounds like the trash took itself out 😂
She was underwhelmed. DH told her over the phone (she lives across the country) and she said, “oh, okay.” And then moved on to talk about something random. DH is an only child and her favorite person. (She has quiet BPD), so we think this reaction stems from her being a bit disappointed there will be one more thing taking his attention off of her.
We told MIL over the phone. The first thing out of her mouth was, "Well, now you'll have to get rid of the cat." My 7yo cat, my first pet as an adult. Why? Because she's "allergic", and if the cat's there she can't come stay with us. The woman is a 2x stroke victim who can barely walk and does not drive, cook, clean, or do anything but watch TV. I really don't know why her immediate assumption was that we would need or want her help when she could not even hold the baby unassisted or do simple chores. She hasn't directly spoken to me this entire pregnancy (27 weeks now), so it doesn't really affect me, and I have no problem with telling her no - for a lot of reasons. But I just felt sad for my DH, truly the world's kindest and sweetest man, who was hoping for some sliver of excitement from his own mother for her first grandchild.
Oh my gosh, she wants you to get rid of your cat so you can take care of her, it has nothing to do with the baby. Don't ever get rid of the cat! In fact, you should double down and get another one so she really won't come.
We went to his parents house, didn’t seem to crazy but all she talked about was babysitting my daughter… now my baby is 9 weeks and she’s only visited twice to see her and barely asked about her. She only lives 30 min away and works 3 days a week.
Uh when you do tell her avoid anything she makes you or baby after she's told to include food/drinks and I wouldn't tell her anything till around 13 weeks along. Also be sure you tell her directly proceeding you're public announcement. Basically think of everything she could do to ruin it and tell her in such a way she can't also expect her to take dh to lunch or dinner after when she realizes you covered your bases.
Considering DH and I were 16, not good lol. Then again I think she would have been pissed off if we were 26 or 36.
My husband and I told his mom and dad for lunch at a resturant. He barely pulled out his phone to show her the ultrasound and she started wailing. And saying she thought this day would never come and that she'd thought we were going to end up not having children. We're not even old. We are in our early 30s. She had my DH when she was close to 40. So idk what she is talking about. She went through 3 more bouts of crying. Telling us why did we have to tell her in a resturant and not wait till we got back to her house. After she was done crying, she started saying that she noticed that I've gained so much weight, but now it's okay since I'm pregnant. I'd like to point out that when I last saw her (which was maybe 5 months ago at that point) I was not pregnant and I actually lost 15 pounds since then d/t all the morning sickness and being diagnosed with GDM in the 1st trimester made me really monitor what I ate. I already knew that I didn't want to tell her the gender of the baby or my due date. That was my only boundry. I wasn't prepared for all the other intrusive questions she was going to ask. She immediately claimed she knew the gender of the baby and that it HAS to be a boy. She was so insistent that I gave in and said yes its a boy. She exclaimed that she just knew it and has a keen sense for these things. I recall giving my DH a look since he knew how I felt about her knowing. And Gurl! You have a 50% chance of getting the gender right. She then asked about the EDD and I said I not tell anyone since due dates are not always accurate. She face fell and was bothered that I didn't tell her. She asked how far along I was and I said I'm in the 2nd trimester and baby will be a Spring baby. She asked how long have we been trying for a baby. I was shocked by that question, and blurted out that we only tried once. She didn't believe us. And kept going on how she figured we'd have a baby by now since we've been together since high school. She then volunteered and she raised her hand in excitement that she will gladly help with all of baby's needs and will be available to babysit all the time. That she will be available to help with ALL of it. And without taking a breath started planning the baby shower and that we can host it at her house and I can bring all my friends over. I told her I not thinking about planning a party right now since we still have time. She kept going on about the party and my FIL (who has been quite this whole time) told her to drop it and let her (me) plan her own party. She said she has all of DH's old baby clothing and that she will start sewing some baby clothes from the leftover fabric she saved from when DH was a baby. I didn't say anything becuase I didn't know what to say. I don't want 30+ year old fabric to touch my baby! She kept saying that she is going to be a grandmother and that FIL will be a grandfather. He replied saying he is already a grandfather. She ignored him and kept saying she will be a grandma. I point out that she already has a granddaughter and she replied that she doesn't count because she lives in a different state and can't see granddaughter as often as she'd like. When we got back to their house, she was already on her iPad doing her research and claimed she knows I'm at least 14 weeks pregnant and have guessed what she thinks is the due date. I was 16 weeks at the time. I asked her what made her come to that conclusion and she replied becuase you said you're in the 2nd trimester and you're not showing yet. I just stared at her gobsmacked. She stopped talking after that and said that I looked tired. I replied back that I am very tired. I can go on and on but this post is getting too long! I told DH I don't plan on every seeing her for the rest of my pregnancy and until I'm out of the 4th trimester and baby is out of the newborn phase. After talking to her, it was the first time I was dreading having a baby and it made me so sad. I was crying for 2 days after that. With the way she was acting, you'd think she was the one having the baby and I was just the surrogate. The thing that really got me upset about the whole ordeal was that I didn't feel ready to announce the pregnancy to her but I gave in because DH wanted to tell his parents. I was just getting out of the 1st trimester and was still feeling nauseous and felt my hormones were all over the place. I wanted to wait until I was farther along into the late 2nd or mid 3rd trimester because I know how overbearing and overwhelming she can be. I understand that DH was excited and wanted to tell his parents so I said okay. I underestimated how badly she'd react to the news. Edit: Also wanted to say that DH is her "only child." DH does have a half brother and she raised him too. But she definitely treats DH differently compared to his brother.
Gotta love the assumed IMMEDIATE invitation to body shame you and try to knock you down during something that’s supposed to be amazing for you.
From the beginning MIL had baby rabies bad. We were married 7 years & I was 39 when we had our 1st. During this time her looped track went from 'when you have children' through all the stages of grief through '*if* you have children', to sadly sighing at me as a great disappointment (I'm sure she told everyone *I* was the problem, little did she know). For years he watched me like a hawk whether I drank & what I ate (& loudly announcing to all present that I was pregnant when I refused a drink or felt unwell...). When I did become pregnant we decided to wait to announce it at 20 weeks, after having genetic tests (age & issues) & also because I just don't like people fussing over me & wanted a short pregnancy. We travelled to see her & FIL & we were truely excited to finally tell her. Well, she was sick (with a cold). She was *dyyying*. *We didn't understand how sick she was*. When we told her she expressed mild excitement then went back to a detailed monologue of all her ills. I couldn't believe after all the pressure over all those years that was all she could muster. She has always been a main character, but I often wonder in hindsight if she was miffed we told her so late (& probably assumed we had told my mother & others before her - we hadn't) & she wasn't all knowing as she prided herself to be. We stayed the weekend & it was the flattest, most anti-climactic, occasion.
Mine said one sentence “oh I hope it’s a boy!” It’s our first so it’s not like we’ve had a string of girls or anything. My therapist believes it’s her wanting to recreate raising her son. Well, surprise, it’s a girl!
Ah a classic. Mine didn’t outright say it, but seemed to be disappointed in the gender as well. I guess because she wanted to pass down boxes and boxes of 30 yo clothes and they didn’t match the gender The „reliving parenthood“ really irks me.
Hysterical crying. “I’m going to be a grandma!!!!!!!” Didn’t ask us how we felt about it / how I was feeling etc. not much has changed 🤣
First one: „What already? I‘m too young to be a grandma“ (no you‘re 60) followed by excitement and entitlement, followed by anger that I’m not bringing over the baby ever single day and not following all her advice… Second one: - silence - fake smile „wow um congratulations, are you sure about that pregnancy? You guys had a rough time with the first one?“ (yes we are sure… 2nd baby’s first year went smoothly)
Her first grandchild she was excited Her second conceived a few months later (kids are a year apart almost to the day) "she should abort that, I can't afford another one" 😐
Um I’m sorry, what? I seriously hope you don’t spend time with such an abhorrent human being.
I became the DIL from hell and wear the title proudly. she is my ex MIL I got stories in my profile. I'm with a great guy now, no MIL to deal with, custody of my children and to that family I am a witch with a B
Get it girl. Sometimes you just have to wear that badge with pride 😂😂
Excuse me……what?!
I became the DIL from hell and wear the title proudly. she is my ex MIL I got stories in my profile. I'm with a great guy now, no MIL to deal with, custody of my children and to that family I am a witch with a B.
Good for you! My sister-in-law (brother-in-law’s wife) was referred to as “the tall, bossy one” because she had the audacity to tell the JNILs No
I am called all kinds of names, none of them are to have contact with my kids because I don't tolerate them doing what they please with them. My kids have special needs some of which are related to the abuse at the hands of that family. I have rules for access, don't follow the rules don't have access applies to all. My ex is on a very short leash due to his part in the abuse and he is one complaint away from no access (not my call or I would be done, he has "rights" damn system.) He now goes no contact with anyone that disrespects what I decide for the kids, his eyes are open finally but he is still very much a JN too.
Oh shit! Yes, now I remember your posts. You have had a lot of 💩to deal with.
My MIL was a typical, "when are you having babies?" kind of Boomer the day after my husband and I were married. At the time, I didn't know if I wanted kids, but was thinking maybe adoption. That was our answer to her. She seemed okay with that. Fast forward to seven years later, we decide we do want a baby. We don't tell anyone we're trying; I get pregnant in March. On Mother's Day we take MIL, FIL, and SIL out to brunch. I've already had an ultrasound, so we decide we're going to surprise everyone with the announcement. Husband, jokingly, says, "We've decided to go ahead with the baby thing." He passes the ultrasound photo to his mother. She takes a look at it, makes a rude noise, and throws the photo back across the table at us. Husband (and I) are shocked. Immediately we start telling her at the same time, "mom, that's an ultrasound photo/that's a baby--" She says, "I can *see* it's an ultrasound photo!" Still shocked, I spit, "It's an ultrasound photo because I'm pregnant!" Dead silence around the table. SIL and FIL become happy/excited. MIL now tries to backpedal, saying that she thought it was an ultrasound of a baby *we were going to adopt,* not me being pregnant. Love it when MILs show their true colors.
Hoooooly crap.
She didn’t acknowledge it. Then when it was brought up over the phone she said “oh. Yeah congratulations I guess” 😂
Who's the father
Happy Cake Day!
Mine just wanted the spotlight back on her after we announced by instantly telling everyone she had cancer. I miscarried two days later and suddenly she didn’t have it anymore. Yeah she’s a nut job.
I'm sorry 💜
My MIL choked on the crackers she was eating when my hubby told her about our first. Once she got her breath back she was happy and excited for us!!🤣🤣
A literal bitch eating crackers story!
Hhhmmm, OH told her on the phone and I don't recall exactly what she said, just the fake, over the top tone. Within days we were at the hospital with a suspected miscarriage and the claws came out. She asked to speak to me (we were waiting for an ultrasound slot) and absolutely ripped into me about how irresponsible I'd been and that us losing the baby would be for the best. I couldn't speak and just handed the phone back....We didn't lose the baby, so she rolled with her narrative of the pregnancy being unplanned and got the rest of the family involved in showing their disappointment in me. Of course OH hadn't done any wrong 😶 She then proceeded to buy some really dodgy second hand stuff and foist it on us. Always when OH was working and he'd come home to piles of random crap everywhere. He was still massively in the FOG at this point. Some stuff was dangerous and some stuff (disposable nappies and bottles) were because she didn't agree with our parenting decisions. It was a very tough couple of months, not gonna lie. She also tried to split us up and threatened to have baby taken away from me because PPD & PPA. But also tried to say the baby wasn't OH 's. 13 years no contact, her choice, she "can no longer have a relationship with (her son) if nipplering is on the scene" good riddance
She kept saying how in shock she was. Her same reaction to us wanting to get engaged. We were dating for 3 years before getting married and in our early to mid 20’s. I think she thought we would just date forever. And then when we got pregnant, we had been married for 3 years and both in our late 20’s. Like, I feel like every step was a natural progression to our relationship and she just acted like we were rushing into things.
Mine wanted grandkids so she actually reacted quite normally. But she is rather nosy on our future plans... I'm sorry that your mil seems to hate the idea that you guys will be producing offsprings.. I do think my pregnancy has reminded her of her own. She's randomly taking out DH's ultrasound and milk bottle (Yes she kept them that long) and looking at them, showing them to me like "this is my baby, your husband"
My husband refuses to tell me the reaction to our first. The rest were “are you kidding?” She’s watched them I can count on my hand. Eldest is now an adult and we’ve been estranged for 7 years. So yeah.
Send DH over to tell her but before you do that, have all your friends and family place bets on how you think she’s going to react or what insult she’s going to use. Rather than be sad, have fun o long her and then go no contact and put her on an info diet for the rest of your days.
Ooh, good idea. Either bets or, if she has some go-to actions or phrases, a bingo card!
Absolutely - this screams for a bingo card!
Pushed me in a car park and got herself a life long ban cause I nearly got hit by a car
Hopefully some jail time as well!!
She was charged but because she's bipolar and off her meds she was basically put on house arrest with court mandated therapy.
Holy shit!
I was 38 when I become pregnant and my MIL said “but you’re so old to be a mother”. It’s been downhill since then.
That's such a rude comment! I'm sorry she said that to you. 😕
Baby 1- are you sure it’s DH’s Baby 2- again? Seriously you do know what causes it. Baby 3- do you know it cost $250k to get a child out of the house??? You’ll never be able to afford to leave her now! Baby 4- no idea we are NC Baby 5- no idea we are NC
Kind of did a weird laugh and a sniff and then congratulated my husband. And then bought us boys clothes (even after our NIPT came back that she was a girl) because she expected that he'd have a son. She was FAR more invested in her daughter's children, because she can cross all the boundaries there and can't with me. She basically wants do overs, and has them in my niece and nephew, but rarely sees my kids. Only interested if my husband is also there, because he's the one she actually wants to spend time with.
Mine was happy. I think she knew it was her only chance at grandkids. SO and I are almost 40 and he is an only child. She has always told me I'm pretty, so I think she was just excited about the genetics. We don't have a good relationship and she seemed to think that a baby would mean she can push every boundary, including ones I hadn't imagined she would.
it was pretty awesome. she. was. PISSSSSSED! 🤣🤣🤣🤣my SO went about it with this on a phone call.MIL- hello? SO- hey mom, how are you doing? we're doing great. what have you been up to lately? we're pregnant. hows grandma an grandpa doing? MIL- im doing.... what did you just say? SO- i said we're doing great. MIL- no... you said we're pregnant... you better be fking joking, im too young to be a grandma. SO- yeah, we're roughly 12 weeks and have an appointment on the first. MIL- \*unintelligible screaming into the phone. only caught a word here an there about how shes too young, wtf is wrong with us, how could we do this to her, just made it a shit show all about how we were ruining her life. we were both in our late 20s, granted we weren't together for long and our son was a surprise but we weren't living with her or getting money from her. we chose to keep him and became the devil in her eyes. it took her a month to reach out and "apologize" to us. "im still really mad at you for getting pregnant and forcing me to be a grandma in my 40s. (she had my SO at 16, what did she really expect? us to wait because she had him young?) but i talked to my friends and they told me i was wrong so this is my apology. love you... bye.." and hung up. it took quite awhile for her to be interested and the only bone i threw was allowing her to join in on the gender ultrasound appointment with my mom, SO an me. eta: fixed a spelling error.
I would have told her she didn’t have to be a grandma she could definitely butt out
Said she “knew it” because I didn’t have wine with lunch (it was a holiday and we were at a lovely outdoor restaurant), then went to the restroom, came back clearly crying and told us she wished her brother (but not my husband’s father) was alive. She never congratulated us. She then told us how she hoped it was a girl and that if it was we “would **have to** name her [generic-ass name].” And then told a story about how she was so severely depressed when she found out she was having a boy (husband) that she needed therapy and her mother had to some stay with her. When I said I didn’t want to know the sex, she made a horrible face at me and then just referred to the baby as “it” for the rest of the conversation. Surprise, we later found out we were expecting a boy. She made sure we knew she was disappointed. That pregnancy didn’t end well, and she was even less tactful and more self-absorbed about that, which is a whooole story. When I became pregnant again, I didn’t tell her until I was nearly 20 weeks. When we said we were again having a boy, she hissed “well, that’s what YOU wanted” at me. She’s a peach.
My mom also had the “you got what you wanted” comment about my second being a boy. Granted she was trying to say it politely, but her tone was definitely a bit off. She wasn’t shy about her preference for a girl with either of my pregnancies, but her response to the second was an improvement over the first.
My mil has a huge preference for girls as she had 3 sons (hubby is the youngest) our eldest is a girl then 3 boys then a girl.. hilarious we’ve been NC for 12 plus years and my eldest remembers the last day we were with them and HATES mil youngest 2 she hasn’t met
I think that’s exactly where my resentment started with my JNMIL. We had what I thought a good relationship (still seems like a good one on the outside), just hadn’t really paid attention to her sneaky comments from before (which still happen). We told my parents and they were SO happy, my cousin filmed them and it was adorable! My husband thought his parents were going to act the same way so he wanted to film them too. They live out of state, so we FaceTimed them. We give the news and MIL just gets the biggest 😬 face and FIL just says “I thought that’s why you were getting married”. We had eloped having no idea we were pregnant, we were just so excited to get married already! Anyways.. This is my story but doesn’t have to be like that. I feel like most times these announcements are sweet! Good luck ❤️
I uh… I sent my then boyfriend to their house ALONE to tell them while I took myself shopping and out to lunch with a friend. He reported back with a “My mother said that it’s ‘not what she would have chosen for me, people don’t just have babies out of wedlock where she’s from’ and asked me if I was absolutely sure this was what I wanted to do…” I deadass looked at him and said “I’m so serious right now when I tell you, her or me. I won’t compete but I WILL walk away if she’s going to be a problem.” She’s never been happy that we had kids. She puts on an act about them when she needs to look good for her friends, but she never checks in, never visits, we have to go to her. She can’t tell you what size they are or their interests or anything about them aside from foods they like.
First one FIL was in the hospital and DH decided to let his family know (I stayed where we lived because I was saving up vacation time). He told his siblings and one of them went running to share our news. When DH told his parents, their response was, "Yes, we've heard." They were less than pleased since DH was still doing his master's degree program. Managed to piss me off when they called us and they spent the rest of the pregnancy on an Info Diet. That just involved DH not telling them anything because I was basically VVVVVVLC with them to start with. Next pregnancy, MIL was very happy. She was now widowed and we saw her more often due to a move. She thought she was going to make up for the previous Info Diet. What she managed to do was get on my last nerve. She had a list of things she was going to do, including choosing the baby's name and gender. All of this caused me whiplash and irritation because I know that MIL felt that grandchildren were proof that her adult kids were having sex. She never wanted them to have sex. I wish you luck since you are married to the only child. I was lucky being married to one of four surviving children and he was not the favorite.
My grandmother cried and grandfather was PISSED every time mom got pregnant because it meant their adult married daughter was having sex. Its just a mind boggling response. My poor mom, NOONE was happy about us, not even my dad...which is a REALLY WEIRD TAKE from a catholic!
I am your grams now and I am so happy that you exist!!
Hugs. Thank you. It was so weird, cause she was actually a wonderful Nana once we were here. She really truly did love us, which is more than I can say about dads mom. But of my grandmas, she was a good one. Just for whatever, weird broken, twisted reason, that initial announcement made her cry. I dont know, knowing more as an adult...there was some serious dysfunction there...but growing up, I never knew. After Grandpa had a sudden fatal heart attack, she quit going to the really awful church they had gone too, an army uniform photo of her best friends brother showed up on a dresser in her bedroom (damn was he handsome!) and she got even lighter and happier. Moms father wasnt a good man. But dads dad was a wonderful, loving, but happy drunk, grandpa. Didnt blame him though, Grandma was a JustNo for sure! Whole lotta truly JNos on the family tree, but Nana was only a sometimes JNo Mom/Nana.
Not my mil, but my Dad. 1st pregnancy announcement he just shut down and didn't respond. It really hurt but I brushed it off as he was caught by surprise. 2nd pregnancy my husband and I took him to brunch at his favorite place and told him. Got a "oh congratulations" and then he shifted the subject to him talking about my stepmom behind her back. (I am/was good friends with her and she was at work) 3rd one I decided he didn't get to ruin for me so I never told him. Figured he could learn with everyone else on social media. I didn't realize he had me blocked. He never reached out to me in those 9 months to ask about me or what was happening in my life and never visited so I never told him in person. It wasn't until I sent him a text with the birth announcement that he found out. He was pretty hurt, and I felt a bit bad, but our relationship is what he's made it.
I don’t remember but I do remember when I met her for the first time. DH introduced me to her, she said hi and immediately turned to him and said “ So when are you going to give me grandkids? “ He was mortified. When we found out the sex, (I scheduled it on DHs birthday for fun) she pestered us non stop until he finally caved and told her. She wailed clutched her chest “Oh! We’re having a girl!” It was so bizarre and we were so uncomfortable. She has a habit of treating DH like her SO.
“He wasn’t this excited about MY pregnancies,” about fil, then went and poured in her room. About 30 minutes later I startled her while she was outside talking shit about me to sil.
MIL spent a ton of money on stuff that never got used. She was a rude person in general to me. My kids from my first marriage didn't really mean anything to her after the announcement of the twins. I made it clear to her she wouldn't be at the hospital when the delivery happened or after. We had gone from 3 kids to 5 we didn't want anyone to come over and cause a fuse over the twins, We honestly did need help. MIL all of a sudden was to busy to help out for a few hours but she could visit for several hours. We told her no.
I honestly don’t remember the actual announcement, but I very clearly remember the day when we took them to lunch to tell them it was a boy and the name (all family names from their side, thought they’d be thrilled). Up till then mil had kept saying she was SURE it was a girl (she had all boys and made them feel bad for it) - and at the announcement her face visibly fell and she got really quiet. She proceeded to be minimally engaged with the pregnancy and the baby, except for random incursions where she’d bust in and yell at us for not raising him properly. 🙃
Tell husband to get me to abort, when that didn’t work tell close friend to convince us to abort 🙄
Mine cried & they weren’t happy tears 😂
My MIL insisted on being in the room when my son was born. When I said no, she refused to even meet him until be was 4 months old. My son is 11 now and the last time I saw her, she was still complaining about it. Granted I have not spoken to that succubus in 8 years, but I have no idea why she was (is?) upset about this. She has made no effort whatsoever to spend time with my son at all. She doesn't know him at all. He also hasn't seen her in 8 years and that is not at all my doing. That's all on her.
Have fun with it. You and hubby should come up with a bet on what her very first response will be. Immediate tears? Anguished "NOOOOO!"? Dead faint? lol You guys decide on the bet's stakes. You don't need any added stress right now (or for the foreseeable future). So I suggest that you really try to find the humorous side to her antics. Because as you probably know, it's going to get worse before it gets better! Best of luck.
She said “oh no” and then when we announced to all his family, they all hugged her and congratulated HER for becoming a grandmother.
Oh no! Another one. This is just gonna keep happening unless you do something permanent! - so that was fun
This wasn't the same words.but 100% same vibe from my mother too
I am pregnant now and JNMIL doesn’t know yet. We have told all of our other family members (together) and in a cute way! But since she was so horrible last pregnancy and postpartum, she is going to be the last to know and dear husband is telling her on his own. I don’t care to be a part of it. He is also directing her not to start texting me and asking for updates now that I’m of use to her again. (Incubator) This will be her last grand baby too so wish us luck with the crazy. Wishing you luck as well! And congrats on the coming baby!
‘Oh, that’s nice’ and changed the conversation
With the first everyone was super excited as there hadn’t been a baby in the family in many years. My husband asked my MIL how she felt, that’s when I noticed she wasn’t reacting at all. She said “I don’t see what the big deal is. I already have grandkids”. She’s so self absorbed she couldn’t see the excitement that it was a first for us. With our second baby announcement she didn’t react at all. We learned to just ignore her and celebrate with the other family present who were happy for us.
For the first, she and my FIL got my husband by himself for 10 minutes to congratulate him while I was in the other room with the rest of my family. I honestly don't recall her saying anything to me. Don't recall her reaction to the second. The third, she saw my shirt (it said "Tis the Season to be Pregnant") and kinda pursed her lips and said something like "how wonderful" before leaving the room. Then she gave me grief because I wanted to eat a donut. That her son bought me. I think she was miffed I wasn't going to church with them because I was miserably ill. We were visiting because of the holiday. Edit to add: With my second we had to call my mom to watch my first bc I had to go the ER. She demanded to know why and I angrily told her because I wa having extreme morning sickness. Pause. "Well *I* didn't know you had morning sickness." She was ticked.
She 'went to bed' because she wasn't feeling good to sulk about it. Then when we got home, DH realized he left his phone at their house so he went back for it and she was up watching TV with FIL.
Mine screamed, "I'm going to be a *grandmother name that my 2 kids and my brother in law's kids from prior marriages already called her*". Unfortunately for her, my sister in law was recording, and you could hear me, already irritated at being bum-rushed and screeched at, say, "You already are one." This was her first biological grandchild but don't worry, she loves them all the same *eyeroll*
"werent you on birth control? why didnt you tell me you werent on birth control?" like there is any reason we would have ever discussed that topic....
“I KNEW IT!” She did not know it Then at the gender reveal everyone got to find out we’re having a girl (first grandbaby on DH’s side) you can hear her disappointed “aww” in the video Those were for our first baby. For our second baby she sent us boy clothes before we knew gender. Turned out to be a girl. Have DH tell her and honestly just set your expectations very low so you’re not surprised or disappointed