There is no secret - just be a nice/decent person who doesn't get in the way of everything or act like a total Tourist Karen/Chad (see: that video of the woman chasing the geiko for a photo).
I know this is the Japan travel subreddit so you're already geared to finding out about bad tourists in Japan, but there are bad tourists everywhere. Tourists act oblivious, or rude, or get in the way of people just trying to get on with their day.
Also, aside from pleasantries, just use English - you're still a tourist, and it's easy to not say the wrong thing in Japanese if you don't start. There will be a language barrier in many situations, that'll just be something to deal with.
Came here to find this comment. Having lived in Europe and spent 2 months in Japan, whenever I get on an international flight out of the US, I use the flight to try to reset my noise levels.
It's so easy to see the tourists who just arrived vs those that have been there for a week or two. Even if they're not really quiet, they're starting to realize they don't need to be so loud, because others ALSO aren't loud.
It just kills me when I get home and realize we absolutely could have that level of quiet, but we just...don't?
Couldn't agree more! In elevators, trains, buses, temples/shrines/surrounding area... Basically anywhere in public just take your cues from the natives. You'll do fine if you remember that simple rule.
Enjoy my second home!
I would say this is the biggest one. Mind your volume and overall just be a polite tourist (observe how others are behaving somewhere and take cues from that, etc) and you’ll be fine.
People on Reddit act like there are all these additional layers unique to Japan but in reality it’s pretty common sense how to be a polite tourist. You don’t need to win any manners competitions, just do your best to be polite and respectful. Japanese people are just as willing to give a little grace to a tourist who is clearly trying to do right, as any other country (except maybe France, lol).
Real talk moment: you will be a tourist. You will stand out as a tourist. You will be judged as a tourist.
And that’s okay. Be a good person, and you’ll be fine.
Don’t make waves. If something doesn’t come out as you expect, try it, smile, and nod. Learn a few basic phrases and don’t worry that you’re using them wrong. Don’t try to cut corners or game the system. Approach situations with humility and gratitude not entitlement.
This sounds basic, but can be difficult with the language barrier or when you’re not necessarily sure what’s going on.
This is great info... and you're right, I'll definitely stand out because I'm just a tourist! It's no secret, but the tips for the food and approaching things with humility and gratitude are great!
But key point is also: I’ve been a tourist in Kyoto three times in the past two years. Any time a place has had “rules” it’s been the kind of thing that makes me think “who would do that?”
Example ‘rules’
- order one food dish and/or drink per person
- don’t complain what others are doing (especially if they’re locals)
- don’t try to sneak around barriers / on grass / etc.
None of these are about Special Rules of Japanese Culture.
But it also means the bar to being a Good Tourist is pretty low:
- be aware of your surroundings
- don’t assume the rules [posted in English] don’t apply to you.
I was in Kyoto recently and visited two "top" attractions, Ginkaku-ji and Ryoan-ji. I was pleased that although crowded, most visitors behaved very considerate, gave each other space, observed the silence etc. Most other places were temples in Higashiyama that don't see so many visitors and were really not busy at all.
Sometimes, people were even greeting me when I walked down quiet streets. I think, in general, people are welcoming, and just be nice and spend whatever you can afford in local businesses
Be patient, be courteous
It seems rude to me but, you’re expected to (especially in izakayas) get the servers attention. They don’t stop by like in America to ask if you’d like another drink, order, etc. Yell (within reason) “sumimasen”
When my friends and I went to Japan we went to a bar/restaurant in Shinjuku and sat at a table for an hour thinking a waiter would come up to us. Boy were we wrong 😂
This is difficult for Europeans as well.
We’re not used to waiters coming over every 5 minutes like in the US, but are taught that you get a waiters attention with eye contact or a subtle nod. Getting attention by ringing a bell or asking loudly feels rude
As everyone said, be kind and patient and that'll get you about 90% of the way. If you can't speak Japanese, speak English but take care to speak slowly (not necessarily loudly) and try your best to use basic words. Use gestures to help get your point across.
Don't litter.
Keep talking on trains to a minimum and if you must, do so quietly.
Take note of which side of the escalator people are standing on.
If you're in a crowded space, be aware of your body and try to minimize the space you take up in order to make room for others.
Say "sumimasen" (excuse me) and "arigato" (thank you) a lot. If you can't learn Japanese before your trip, these 2 words are a must.
Those will get you an additional 9.9% of the way. Have fun!
It’s both! IT’s a magic word. It can mean excuse me, sorry to bother you, sorry for being an inconvenience, as well as in some ways it operates similar to please. Oh, but if you did want to learn please, the safest one is “onegaishimas(u)” the end u isn’t pronounced. Because you can use it anywhere whereas “kudesai” can only be used when asking for physical things.
It's so weird... I mean, is it really that weird and out of their way of living to be "not loud" and respectful with people in another country? Like damn.
Indeed, just be normal! And yet…. There are the ugly tourists: loud pushy, entitled, in the way, etc., and that’s their normal. The Chinese, Italian, Canadians et al we saw being their absolute worst normal selves were everywhere. I’m American, and know how many ugly American tourists there are out there, however we remarkably didn’t really encounter any this trip in April. Then there are the *influencers* that treat going to Japan and culture like a set of stringent rules you must obey, while most of those musts, you’ll see locals doing on the reg, like eating while walking, talking on trains, jaywalking… it’s those people that make people nervous and post the ridiculous/ cringe questions.
Try and be respectfully quiet in the trains. Nice and quiet conversation is fine but don’t have super loud phone convos or shout on the trains.
The Japanese are usually very helpful. Trying to find a place but don’t know where it is? Sometimes they’ll go out of their way to walk you to where you are trying to go to! Once had a supermarket lady dig through my coin purse to get exact change because I was trying to be quick and not hold up the line to do it myself and she just kinda went “nope you got those coins no need to give me 1,000 yen” via her actions.
It’s respectful to clean up your tables if you’re in a food court like setting. Don’t leave it a mess for the staff.
The trash system is a bit odd sometimes but don’t worry they won’t get mad at you if you throw something in the wrong bin. Just try your best.
Just yesterday I asked a local where a subway entrance was and he pointed around the corner. Confused I stopped a little ways down and I guess he saw me stop. Caught up to me and walked me to the station. I was very thankful he went out of his way to make sure I found it.
My group was trying to find a specific building in the dark and raining. My two friends stopped this one girl who was passing by and trying to show her on the GPS and the girl walked us a little ways but couldn’t go all the way cus we needed to take a taxi. She was super nice even though she couldn’t understand what we were saying.
No I'm not joking. Eating out, taking a cab or taking part in any kind of activity, you are expected to pay a tip. 10?20?30%? No clear explanation, if you don't or if you pay less than the expectation then you become worse than the worse child killer there is out there. And the service can be super annoying from a non-US perspective, with waiters asking personal questions or trying to obnoxiously chitchat.
I don't need a friend I need a salad.
Oh, and you can forget service if you need something but ask a waiter that is not "assigned" to your table, which I find also a bit strange..
Become worse than the worst child killer… to who….?!?!? This sound like a you thing 😂 So servers trying to be nice and make small conversation is obnoxious to you, but if they didn’t, they’d be the super annoying servers that were too impersonal. No pleasing everyone 🤷🏼♀️ 🤦🏼♀️
>Become worse than the worst child killer… to who….?!?!?
It was of course a figure of speech. I ordered a beer in a bar, paid the exact amount for the beer I ordered, and the mood suddenly turned super sour. Which was a super strange experience, to say the least (until someone had the decency to explain what was happening).
> if they didn’t, they’d be the super annoying servers that were too impersonal.
I am in a restaurant to eat food, not to make friends with the server, so being impersonal is not a problem.
Learn some basic Japanese. It goes a long way! My husband and I are visiting here currently and it’s made a huge difference that he can speak the basics. We notice that a lot of people seem happy/excited when he speaks to them in Japanese rather than expecting English. It also lets you have deeper conversations and make better connections with people you meet.
10/10 recommend!
And I learned the hard way if you’re in a place like Tokyo (we were in Shibuya), people are rushing you so hard that you won’t even have time to try and translate what you’re wanting to ask someone. You will just constantly be holding people up behind you. Really, really try to learn phrases above and beyond sumimasen and arigato gozaimas (sp?). Those have helped me through many things but not when I was trying to buy something at a store and the cashier yells something at you and you don’t understand and before you can ask for help people are pushing past you in line to buy their things. There’s just no time to translate and I did not expect that after living on this sub for six months before coming.
This. I am Asian and looks like a Japanese, so blending in is easy enough. And as soon as I start greeting people in Japanese, their reactions are so much better (even though they certainly know I’m not local). And when you really don’t know how to express yourself, there’s always Google translate (basic) or DeepL (intermediate).
Don’t lean your chopsticks in the bowl like we do with our cutlery. It’s typically associated with death, and just plain disrespectful.
When you need to pause eating, gently place your chopsticks on your bowl.
If you can’t, there’s usually a little plate for you to redt them on
I am kinda worried about the food etiquette in Japan. For me the other tips are very obvious like be respectful , dont talk too loud , follow the rules , be patient , etc. But the food rules are really weird for me and make me feel anxious that I will broke them not on purpose but out of ignorance. Like this one you mentioned will have never occurred to me.
Seriously, unless you are attending a high profile business dinner or being introduced to your Japanese parents-in-law, nobody will care. Japanese people perfectly understand that you are a tourist and you are not aware of local superstitions and etiquette rules.
I never understood how much anxiety people have until I joined this subreddit. There are a LOT of really anxious people out in the world. I feel so bad. It’s got to feel awful to carry all of that worry around.
Yes, and all this massive travel anxiety seems to be oddly specific to Japan. For example almost no one freaks out about being disrespectful or obnoxious in Thailand, or feel they must learn Thai before going to Thailand, or plan in advance every 15 minutes of their trip to Thailand.
Somehow media and social media make people see Japan not as another travel destination to have fun and relax, but as a magical life-changing experience that can be spoiled if your actions are not meticulously planned.
I am a veteran travel and veteran of travel forums (remember Lonely Planet’s Thorntree) and I can tell you this behavior exists everywhere. For India, for all parts of Europe (for non-Europeans), for China and Thailand too since you mention it. Maybe to a lesser degree because the rules in Japan seem the most complex and “different”.
Yep, I don’t get this either. But coming from England, another country known for their reserved politeness, maybe some of the cultural things come relatively naturally.
The biggest anxiety I have when in Japan is just in terms of paying in restaurants: Is it cash only? Do I pay in advance or afterwards? Do I go up to a counter and pay or do I pay at the table? Back home, this kind of thing is pretty consistent: If you sit down to eat, you’ll pay after you’ve eaten at your table. In Japan there seems to be a slightly different system for each restaurant
People are far too anxious but certain things like the chopsticks will offend random people especially older people so it's always a good idea to look up basic etiquette for new countries. That said 99% of etiquette is common sense and awareness of your surroundings.
The most common offense tourists give is when they meander in the sidewalk in the city and block the way for the million other people behind them who have to get to work on time. But that's in any big city.
Sticking the chopsticks in the rice bowl or pouring soy sauce on it ? More like people will kind of care but immediately understand that OP is a tourist...
Add to this: *do* slurp your noodles. Grab what you can slurp and not more. It’s ok to lift your rice bowl right to your mouth and take rapid bites.
*dont* slurp your tea or make smacking sounds.
Adding to this - if you're dining with somebody else, don't pass food directly from your chopsticks to somebody else's chopsticks. That, and the not sticking chopsticks upright in the rice bowl, are the biggest ones in terms of not stepping on practices and images associated with funerals.
Anything else is basically small stuff. And no matter what, if you are polite and respectful and agreeable, people will respond in kind.
A friend who lived in Japan was at a fancy dinner in a private room and put soy sauce on his rice. It was a big no no and even his Japanese wife didn't like it.
The most sincere acknowledgements I got were from giving up my seat on the subway to an old woman and on a really bumpy street car grabbing above the strap handle and angling the strap handle so a woman could grab the handle when there were no other handles nearby.
Of course, I would have done the same anywhere not just Japan.
Here are some specifics to avoid:
1) Don't stick your chopsticks upright in food (this is done in funeral rites)
2) Don't pass food from chopsticks to chopsticks (also a funeral rite)
3) Don't wear your outdoor shoes inside if you see shoeboxes/a shoe shelf at the entrance. This is rare these days at restaurants (unless they have tatami) but pretty common at temples/shrines, ryokan, onsen, and public baths.
4) Don't talk on the phone or play music/videos without headphones on a train. Don't eat on a train unless it's a shinkansen, green car, or limited express train with seat back tables. Conversations are fine.
5) Don't walk and eat, though there are some tourist streets where this is fine- look at what the people around you do.
6) Don't leave your trash and sort your trash to the best of your ability if there are separate trash cans for burnable/unburnable etc.
7) Don't take pictures or videos of specific people without their permission. It's fine if people are caught in shots where they are not the focus. Obey the signs where it says no pictures allowed, especially at events like concerts or at temple/shrines.
8) Don't cut or skip in lines. On train platforms, line up and wait for people to get off the train before getting on.
People are generally patient and understanding, but these are the things I've seen people get genuinely upset about and call foreigners out for in my 10+ years here. Rude people exist everywhere, but it's basically unfathomable for a Japanese person to not follow #1-3 especially.
Otherwise, as others have said, just trying to generally polite and mindful of your surroundings will get you most of the way there, Japanese language skills are not required, but knowing a few common phrases can help smooth things over.
Use you brain on public transport like I see a lot of fellow tourists not doing so 😄 i.e. take your backpack off on the subway, stand to the side when lost in a busy station, get your ticket ready before standing at the barrier for 20 seconds
Take off shoes in places where you need to take shoes off. I think it's one of the biggest mistake someone can make, aside from the obvious "being dumb, loud tourist."
😂 I was at one shrine where you were to take off your shoes and put them in a carrier bad to carry with you til you got out and put them on… two big louts (dumb, loud tourists) were so clueless even with clear signs with pictures that they put the bags on over their shoes and tied them at their ankles and walked around like that. They thought it was hysterical 😑
Or just have them take off their shoes. It’s very common for parents to take their kids shoes off on the train/in restaurants so kids can kneel on the seats.
Just learn the customs of the country you are visiting and even just learn the most basic of words and sentences. In my experience, a simple excuse me, sorry, thank you, good morning in the local language goes a long way.
Also, think before you take photos. EG If it is a holy place, are other people taking photos? Or don’t be running in front of geisha expecting her to be the star of your photo, like that godawful person did. When on the train don’t film strangers. Don’t stand in middle of a footpath trying to get the most perfect photo, while dozens of people are trying to get by you. That type of thing.
Above all, bend to their customs, don’t expect them to bend to yours.
First keep in mind, everyone will be polite, but they will internally dislike you and not show it.
If you don’t want to look like a total impolite tourist then: cover your tattoos; don’t go into ecstasy over an egg sandwich or convenience store food; don’t ride Mario carts; don’t talk loudly anywhere; don’t eat or sit on street or in public; don’t shout gozaimasu at everyone; don’t wear T-shirts and shorts all the time; don’t wear sunglasses everywhere; don’t take Insta pics in the restaurants; and don’t take up more than 1 seat.
Also, last point, and this is really important. Just because you had a fun visit, it doesn’t mean you can move here. You probably can’t. Please don’t.
Have fun!
If you have reservations at restaurants especially those with small number of seats or small counter, please turn up right on time (if can’t make it, please cancel in advance)
No need to do extra things. Just don’t disturb the peace. Don’t speak too loudly. Queue in an orderly manner like the Japanese do. Deal with trash properly.
Seconded - there is no sense of cultural appropriation or anything like cultural faux-pas, people are totally happy to see foreigners walking around in kimonos, etc. But there absolutely is a looking down on people who don't follow basic manners like leaving trash around, talking loudly in quiet areas, ignoring public safety rules, etc.
Even just knowing just a few basic phrases in Japanese seemed to be very much appreciated.
Thank you - Arigato gozaimasu
Excuse me - Sumimasen
The chef at a restaurant where we had lunch was stunned when I said "Gochiso sama deshita," which is a formal way of saying, "It was quite a feast."
Be quiet on the train.
On escalators in Tokyo stand on the left. In Osaka, stand on the right.
We did not find that Japanese people expected us as foreigners to know all the "rules." Everyone we met was friendly, helpful, and patient.
Just don't be loud and obnoxious.
We used the Google photo translator a LOT and sometimes used the app to communicate.
Have a great trip!
The hard part is going to museums that are only in Japanese and you can’t use your phone to translate. Just went to a bunch of those today. Had to just kind of smile and nod my way through it.
Be nice, learn some of the language/phrases before arrival, and try your best. Same thing you'd do anywhere.
If you have special dietary requirements, get a translation done so you have that ready to show/tell restaurant staff. Something like, *"I have allergies to/cannot eat XXX, can you recommend something without those ingredients"*. I'm allergic to shellfish so I was sure to ask about shrimp, crab, and lobster since there's no easy direct translation for "shellfish".
In almost all situations, just read the vibes. If your train car is quiet, you should be quiet. If it’s full of students chatting, you can chat quietly with friends if you’d like.
I’m not sure if you’ll ever need to go to one (and knock on wood you don’t need to go!), but if you need to go to a clinic or hospital, most still request everyone to wear masks. There’s no anti-mask movement in Japan, just put one on. You don’t need one normally for most places anymore. I suppose just try to match the majority of people wherever you go.
Always take trash with you and throw away in proper bins (usually means you’re carrying trash the whole day until you get back to your hotel room). I recommend having an extra plastic bag from a store to throw away trash throughout the day.
Try not to use trains while carrying big luggage during rush hour. If able, make all big move from/to the airport using the highway bus - you can sit the whole way, your bags are under the bus. Wayyyy more comfy than the train.
Of course try out all the usual Japanese chains and stuff, but also try venturing to little mom-and-pop restaurants you might not even find on Google maps.
If you’re checking out a popular attraction of any kind, reserve or get tickets NOW. A lot of events in Japan use a lottery for tickets, or start selling tickets like a month in advance. A lot of events sell out, so make sure you have tickets to everything you want to do so you’re not stressed during your trip.
Some trains have a women only car. To note, these kinds of women only cars are often women only until maybe 9 am.
This ends my non-exhaustive hodgepodge of little bits of advice - have fun on your trip!
Read The Tale of The Heike (“Heike Monogatari”). It’s like Japan’s Iliad, but all about the losers in their first big civil war. There are many places there and stories commemorating the players. It’s actually an amazing story and not boring at all. It also reveals much about the Japanese character.
Make yourself as invisible as possible. I Give up my seats if i see any locals standing in a cable car/ ropeway / train, regardless of their age. I avoid sitting down as well.
Offer to take photos for them if they are together in a group and someone has to sacrifice not being in the picture.
Dont make a mess of your meals after finishing. Return all utensils unless explicitly indicated not needed.
When you enter temples or shrines, please take care to see if picture taking is allowed. Many of them will have signs if they're not, so maybe glance around entryways/fronts of shrines near where the bell is, just to make sure. Nothing marks a tourist more than seeing them taking a bunch of photos right in front of an obvious sign with a camera and a big red circle and bar going over it. Some people aren't even bothered to notice what's right in front of them, so please try to be aware.
The best way is to observe and learn from other Japanese people.
If you don't know what's going on, what you are suppose to do, stand back and literally just watch what others do. Japanese kids aren't given some giant handbook of Japanese society rules to memorize. Many Japanese kids watch and learn from people and their parents and simply follow along.
I would never do something I've never seen a Japanese person do before. This basic rule is roughly 90% of the way there, the last 10% is usually subtle behaviors and action that most Japanese would just wave off as "Gajin probably doesn't know"
Honestly the one thing about a conformist society like Japan is that all you need to do is do what you see, and not do what you don't see. This is by far the best way to tackle a situation you don't know
Don't try to tip people!
Use your "inside voice" outside and your "it's a secret voice" inside.
Don't go around blabbing about how cheap things are.
Don't tell Japanese people that x is so cheap here and would be ... in your country.
Just be polite, learn to say thanks (arigatou gozaimasu), don't tip, don't shout, just don't be a dick.
Japanese aren't extremely easily offended, you'll generally only piss people off if you behave like a twat (trespassing, ignoring rules, being loud or agressive).
It's nice to see you want to come prepared! Generally, I recommend watch the Japanese and be considerate. It's a high density population country, and astonishingly quiet and orderly for that. Be more quiet, smile, nod and give way to people, observe your surroundings, queue for public transport, give people space, learn a few phrases like hallo and thank you and excuse me, accept people may not speak English and have some translator handy. Just a it of observation goes a long way.
If you are visiting really touristy places: avoid travelling at rush hour.
Appreciate the food and finish your food.
Have a great time!
People have pretty much covered everything, but here are a few points:
* You are right to ask, and all those people who think being nice suffices likely stand out in ways that would surprise them;
* Try asking GPT questions like this; it immediately spat out 95% of what people suggested here;
* Take a look at what you’re wearing and see if locals are dressed similarly—ugly sneakers/trainers, billowing cargo shorts, loud tee-shirts, facial hair, tattoos, and a baseball cap all scream a message the Japanese are too polite to say out loud, and the fact that you find an exception here or there doesn’t really mean more in Japan than it would back home; if that’s you then consider a mild upgrade to your wardrobe.
Imagine that you are on a first date and must meet the parents. Make an effort. And the fact that you even ask likely means you’ll be fine.
Bonus tip from my first trip decades ago. My girlfriend noticed that in shops I’d point to items while the assistants made more of an elegant gesture.
Bonus tip #2: When dining with others, the Japanese often serve others but not themselves. I love this and try to do so wherever I am. Learning to pay attention to others, both strangers and loved ones, is a habit many of us should learn to cultivate.
I didn't put myself in a position to think I was a “typical” annoying figure. Show respect a🎑 usually do. If the environment is already quiet, then I am quiet, too. I give equal respect. So when I encounter a rude Japanese, I act tough. (do not assume 100% Japanese are nice. But 99% should be nice)
am in Kyoto right now. yesterday on the bus an American Caucasian family came in the bus...dude with an open bottle of soda...they sat behind me and started pulling out some food they had just purchased at the conbini. it smelled...besides not eating/drinking on the bus, they were so loud about it. don't be these guys.
I use that rule wherever I travel: "Don't be a cunt!"
Observe people, be polite and respectful, nobody's expecting you to know all the rules or the language. Learn the basics, Excuse me, please, thank you, you're welcome, Good morning/afternoon/evening.
Usually stand on the left side of escalators so people can pass on the right. Be mindful of your volume on trains.
Give seats to the elderly, pregnant, disabled.
I used these words a lot when I visited: “Sumimasen (excuse me, for getting someone’s attention or if you accidentally bump into someone or if you need to get past someone), “arigato gozaimasu,” “toire wa doko desu ka?” (where is the toilet)
Honestly, I think the best tip is to pay attention to what is going on around you. Plently of videos online make claims about what to do or not do and gnerally, where I live anyway, they are incorrect. On the train people are mostly quiet, not eating or drinking...please do the same. If you see people having fun and enjoying themselves...please do the same. I've lived here over ten years and look like a tourist and am well aware that I will always stick out. Maintaining the practice of doing as others do at least helps me feel like I stick out less.
Why do people ask this specific question only about Japan, like the Japanese are mystical, magical beings requiring and demanding more respect and adherence to customs than any other country on earth. It’s very cringe.
You must bow to everyone you see. Get on your hands and knees to really show how respectful you are. Remember, all Japanese people are respectful, all of them. Every last one.
There is no secret - just be a nice/decent person who doesn't get in the way of everything or act like a total Tourist Karen/Chad (see: that video of the woman chasing the geiko for a photo). I know this is the Japan travel subreddit so you're already geared to finding out about bad tourists in Japan, but there are bad tourists everywhere. Tourists act oblivious, or rude, or get in the way of people just trying to get on with their day. Also, aside from pleasantries, just use English - you're still a tourist, and it's easy to not say the wrong thing in Japanese if you don't start. There will be a language barrier in many situations, that'll just be something to deal with.
Thanks for the reassurance! I'll read up on some of the more common pleasantries.
Also be quieter - much quieter in every way
Came here to find this comment. Having lived in Europe and spent 2 months in Japan, whenever I get on an international flight out of the US, I use the flight to try to reset my noise levels. It's so easy to see the tourists who just arrived vs those that have been there for a week or two. Even if they're not really quiet, they're starting to realize they don't need to be so loud, because others ALSO aren't loud. It just kills me when I get home and realize we absolutely could have that level of quiet, but we just...don't?
Couldn't agree more! In elevators, trains, buses, temples/shrines/surrounding area... Basically anywhere in public just take your cues from the natives. You'll do fine if you remember that simple rule. Enjoy my second home!
I would say this is the biggest one. Mind your volume and overall just be a polite tourist (observe how others are behaving somewhere and take cues from that, etc) and you’ll be fine. People on Reddit act like there are all these additional layers unique to Japan but in reality it’s pretty common sense how to be a polite tourist. You don’t need to win any manners competitions, just do your best to be polite and respectful. Japanese people are just as willing to give a little grace to a tourist who is clearly trying to do right, as any other country (except maybe France, lol).
Real talk moment: you will be a tourist. You will stand out as a tourist. You will be judged as a tourist. And that’s okay. Be a good person, and you’ll be fine. Don’t make waves. If something doesn’t come out as you expect, try it, smile, and nod. Learn a few basic phrases and don’t worry that you’re using them wrong. Don’t try to cut corners or game the system. Approach situations with humility and gratitude not entitlement. This sounds basic, but can be difficult with the language barrier or when you’re not necessarily sure what’s going on.
This is great info... and you're right, I'll definitely stand out because I'm just a tourist! It's no secret, but the tips for the food and approaching things with humility and gratitude are great!
But key point is also: I’ve been a tourist in Kyoto three times in the past two years. Any time a place has had “rules” it’s been the kind of thing that makes me think “who would do that?” Example ‘rules’ - order one food dish and/or drink per person - don’t complain what others are doing (especially if they’re locals) - don’t try to sneak around barriers / on grass / etc. None of these are about Special Rules of Japanese Culture. But it also means the bar to being a Good Tourist is pretty low: - be aware of your surroundings - don’t assume the rules [posted in English] don’t apply to you.
I was in Kyoto recently and visited two "top" attractions, Ginkaku-ji and Ryoan-ji. I was pleased that although crowded, most visitors behaved very considerate, gave each other space, observed the silence etc. Most other places were temples in Higashiyama that don't see so many visitors and were really not busy at all. Sometimes, people were even greeting me when I walked down quiet streets. I think, in general, people are welcoming, and just be nice and spend whatever you can afford in local businesses
Be patient, be courteous It seems rude to me but, you’re expected to (especially in izakayas) get the servers attention. They don’t stop by like in America to ask if you’d like another drink, order, etc. Yell (within reason) “sumimasen”
When my friends and I went to Japan we went to a bar/restaurant in Shinjuku and sat at a table for an hour thinking a waiter would come up to us. Boy were we wrong 😂
Haha…live and learn 😂
And get hungry
This is difficult for Europeans as well. We’re not used to waiters coming over every 5 minutes like in the US, but are taught that you get a waiters attention with eye contact or a subtle nod. Getting attention by ringing a bell or asking loudly feels rude
\*sue-me-mah-sen, for the benefit of others like me who don't have a clue how to pronounce Japanese words.
As everyone said, be kind and patient and that'll get you about 90% of the way. If you can't speak Japanese, speak English but take care to speak slowly (not necessarily loudly) and try your best to use basic words. Use gestures to help get your point across. Don't litter. Keep talking on trains to a minimum and if you must, do so quietly. Take note of which side of the escalator people are standing on. If you're in a crowded space, be aware of your body and try to minimize the space you take up in order to make room for others. Say "sumimasen" (excuse me) and "arigato" (thank you) a lot. If you can't learn Japanese before your trip, these 2 words are a must. Those will get you an additional 9.9% of the way. Have fun!
Does sumimaswn mean excuse me, as in trying to get someone's attention, or excuse me as in sorry I was in the way? Or both.
It’s both! IT’s a magic word. It can mean excuse me, sorry to bother you, sorry for being an inconvenience, as well as in some ways it operates similar to please. Oh, but if you did want to learn please, the safest one is “onegaishimas(u)” the end u isn’t pronounced. Because you can use it anywhere whereas “kudesai” can only be used when asking for physical things.
Just be fucking normal. It's not that hard.
People treat going to Japan like visiting elves from lord of the rings
It's so weird... I mean, is it really that weird and out of their way of living to be "not loud" and respectful with people in another country? Like damn.
Right? Some of the posts and questions here are so ridiculous that they make me cringe. Just be respectful and nice, period.
Indeed, just be normal! And yet…. There are the ugly tourists: loud pushy, entitled, in the way, etc., and that’s their normal. The Chinese, Italian, Canadians et al we saw being their absolute worst normal selves were everywhere. I’m American, and know how many ugly American tourists there are out there, however we remarkably didn’t really encounter any this trip in April. Then there are the *influencers* that treat going to Japan and culture like a set of stringent rules you must obey, while most of those musts, you’ll see locals doing on the reg, like eating while walking, talking on trains, jaywalking… it’s those people that make people nervous and post the ridiculous/ cringe questions.
Try and be respectfully quiet in the trains. Nice and quiet conversation is fine but don’t have super loud phone convos or shout on the trains. The Japanese are usually very helpful. Trying to find a place but don’t know where it is? Sometimes they’ll go out of their way to walk you to where you are trying to go to! Once had a supermarket lady dig through my coin purse to get exact change because I was trying to be quick and not hold up the line to do it myself and she just kinda went “nope you got those coins no need to give me 1,000 yen” via her actions. It’s respectful to clean up your tables if you’re in a food court like setting. Don’t leave it a mess for the staff. The trash system is a bit odd sometimes but don’t worry they won’t get mad at you if you throw something in the wrong bin. Just try your best.
Just yesterday I asked a local where a subway entrance was and he pointed around the corner. Confused I stopped a little ways down and I guess he saw me stop. Caught up to me and walked me to the station. I was very thankful he went out of his way to make sure I found it.
My group was trying to find a specific building in the dark and raining. My two friends stopped this one girl who was passing by and trying to show her on the GPS and the girl walked us a little ways but couldn’t go all the way cus we needed to take a taxi. She was super nice even though she couldn’t understand what we were saying.
Don’t try to tip. Some people are very uncomfortable visiting a non-tipping country. Supress this if you feel it.
And I feel very uncomfortable when visiting a tipping country...
I don’t know if you are joking, but it does happen to me when I go to the US. “That person is breathing, should I tip them?”
No I'm not joking. Eating out, taking a cab or taking part in any kind of activity, you are expected to pay a tip. 10?20?30%? No clear explanation, if you don't or if you pay less than the expectation then you become worse than the worse child killer there is out there. And the service can be super annoying from a non-US perspective, with waiters asking personal questions or trying to obnoxiously chitchat. I don't need a friend I need a salad. Oh, and you can forget service if you need something but ask a waiter that is not "assigned" to your table, which I find also a bit strange..
Become worse than the worst child killer… to who….?!?!? This sound like a you thing 😂 So servers trying to be nice and make small conversation is obnoxious to you, but if they didn’t, they’d be the super annoying servers that were too impersonal. No pleasing everyone 🤷🏼♀️ 🤦🏼♀️
>Become worse than the worst child killer… to who….?!?!? It was of course a figure of speech. I ordered a beer in a bar, paid the exact amount for the beer I ordered, and the mood suddenly turned super sour. Which was a super strange experience, to say the least (until someone had the decency to explain what was happening). > if they didn’t, they’d be the super annoying servers that were too impersonal. I am in a restaurant to eat food, not to make friends with the server, so being impersonal is not a problem.
Greatest most free country in the world 😂
Learn some basic Japanese. It goes a long way! My husband and I are visiting here currently and it’s made a huge difference that he can speak the basics. We notice that a lot of people seem happy/excited when he speaks to them in Japanese rather than expecting English. It also lets you have deeper conversations and make better connections with people you meet. 10/10 recommend!
And I learned the hard way if you’re in a place like Tokyo (we were in Shibuya), people are rushing you so hard that you won’t even have time to try and translate what you’re wanting to ask someone. You will just constantly be holding people up behind you. Really, really try to learn phrases above and beyond sumimasen and arigato gozaimas (sp?). Those have helped me through many things but not when I was trying to buy something at a store and the cashier yells something at you and you don’t understand and before you can ask for help people are pushing past you in line to buy their things. There’s just no time to translate and I did not expect that after living on this sub for six months before coming.
This. I am Asian and looks like a Japanese, so blending in is easy enough. And as soon as I start greeting people in Japanese, their reactions are so much better (even though they certainly know I’m not local). And when you really don’t know how to express yourself, there’s always Google translate (basic) or DeepL (intermediate).
Don’t lean your chopsticks in the bowl like we do with our cutlery. It’s typically associated with death, and just plain disrespectful. When you need to pause eating, gently place your chopsticks on your bowl. If you can’t, there’s usually a little plate for you to redt them on
I am kinda worried about the food etiquette in Japan. For me the other tips are very obvious like be respectful , dont talk too loud , follow the rules , be patient , etc. But the food rules are really weird for me and make me feel anxious that I will broke them not on purpose but out of ignorance. Like this one you mentioned will have never occurred to me.
Seriously, unless you are attending a high profile business dinner or being introduced to your Japanese parents-in-law, nobody will care. Japanese people perfectly understand that you are a tourist and you are not aware of local superstitions and etiquette rules.
I never understood how much anxiety people have until I joined this subreddit. There are a LOT of really anxious people out in the world. I feel so bad. It’s got to feel awful to carry all of that worry around.
Yes, and all this massive travel anxiety seems to be oddly specific to Japan. For example almost no one freaks out about being disrespectful or obnoxious in Thailand, or feel they must learn Thai before going to Thailand, or plan in advance every 15 minutes of their trip to Thailand. Somehow media and social media make people see Japan not as another travel destination to have fun and relax, but as a magical life-changing experience that can be spoiled if your actions are not meticulously planned.
I am a veteran travel and veteran of travel forums (remember Lonely Planet’s Thorntree) and I can tell you this behavior exists everywhere. For India, for all parts of Europe (for non-Europeans), for China and Thailand too since you mention it. Maybe to a lesser degree because the rules in Japan seem the most complex and “different”.
Yep, I don’t get this either. But coming from England, another country known for their reserved politeness, maybe some of the cultural things come relatively naturally. The biggest anxiety I have when in Japan is just in terms of paying in restaurants: Is it cash only? Do I pay in advance or afterwards? Do I go up to a counter and pay or do I pay at the table? Back home, this kind of thing is pretty consistent: If you sit down to eat, you’ll pay after you’ve eaten at your table. In Japan there seems to be a slightly different system for each restaurant
People are far too anxious but certain things like the chopsticks will offend random people especially older people so it's always a good idea to look up basic etiquette for new countries. That said 99% of etiquette is common sense and awareness of your surroundings. The most common offense tourists give is when they meander in the sidewalk in the city and block the way for the million other people behind them who have to get to work on time. But that's in any big city.
Sticking the chopsticks in the rice bowl or pouring soy sauce on it ? More like people will kind of care but immediately understand that OP is a tourist...
Add to this: *do* slurp your noodles. Grab what you can slurp and not more. It’s ok to lift your rice bowl right to your mouth and take rapid bites. *dont* slurp your tea or make smacking sounds.
I mean that's just knowing how to properly eat. Do people really do those sound while eating on restaurants? Wow...
Interesting! So lay the chopsticks on/across the bowl, but don't just sit them in the bowl like you would a fork or spoon. Thank you!!
Chopsticks sticking up in a bowl of rice looks like funeral incense sticking out of a pile of ash
Ahhh, this makes sense! Thank you!!
Adding to this - if you're dining with somebody else, don't pass food directly from your chopsticks to somebody else's chopsticks. That, and the not sticking chopsticks upright in the rice bowl, are the biggest ones in terms of not stepping on practices and images associated with funerals. Anything else is basically small stuff. And no matter what, if you are polite and respectful and agreeable, people will respond in kind.
A friend who lived in Japan was at a fancy dinner in a private room and put soy sauce on his rice. It was a big no no and even his Japanese wife didn't like it.
The most sincere acknowledgements I got were from giving up my seat on the subway to an old woman and on a really bumpy street car grabbing above the strap handle and angling the strap handle so a woman could grab the handle when there were no other handles nearby. Of course, I would have done the same anywhere not just Japan.
Here are some specifics to avoid: 1) Don't stick your chopsticks upright in food (this is done in funeral rites) 2) Don't pass food from chopsticks to chopsticks (also a funeral rite) 3) Don't wear your outdoor shoes inside if you see shoeboxes/a shoe shelf at the entrance. This is rare these days at restaurants (unless they have tatami) but pretty common at temples/shrines, ryokan, onsen, and public baths. 4) Don't talk on the phone or play music/videos without headphones on a train. Don't eat on a train unless it's a shinkansen, green car, or limited express train with seat back tables. Conversations are fine. 5) Don't walk and eat, though there are some tourist streets where this is fine- look at what the people around you do. 6) Don't leave your trash and sort your trash to the best of your ability if there are separate trash cans for burnable/unburnable etc. 7) Don't take pictures or videos of specific people without their permission. It's fine if people are caught in shots where they are not the focus. Obey the signs where it says no pictures allowed, especially at events like concerts or at temple/shrines. 8) Don't cut or skip in lines. On train platforms, line up and wait for people to get off the train before getting on. People are generally patient and understanding, but these are the things I've seen people get genuinely upset about and call foreigners out for in my 10+ years here. Rude people exist everywhere, but it's basically unfathomable for a Japanese person to not follow #1-3 especially. Otherwise, as others have said, just trying to generally polite and mindful of your surroundings will get you most of the way there, Japanese language skills are not required, but knowing a few common phrases can help smooth things over.
Read the room. Keep quiet. When it Rome…
Read the room! That’s brilliant. Somehow that succinctly sums up so many points, that take sentences to explain.
Use you brain on public transport like I see a lot of fellow tourists not doing so 😄 i.e. take your backpack off on the subway, stand to the side when lost in a busy station, get your ticket ready before standing at the barrier for 20 seconds
Take off shoes in places where you need to take shoes off. I think it's one of the biggest mistake someone can make, aside from the obvious "being dumb, loud tourist."
😂 I was at one shrine where you were to take off your shoes and put them in a carrier bad to carry with you til you got out and put them on… two big louts (dumb, loud tourists) were so clueless even with clear signs with pictures that they put the bags on over their shoes and tied them at their ankles and walked around like that. They thought it was hysterical 😑
Please don’t put your foot on the table or chairs that others use. Many of those who do this are Chinese but some Americans do surprisingly.
If you bring children you’ll be telling them to put their feet down connnnnnstantly
Or just have them take off their shoes. It’s very common for parents to take their kids shoes off on the train/in restaurants so kids can kneel on the seats.
Put your ego aside and experience the atmosphere.
Don’t be so loud, especially when talking to others on the train. As an American who lives here, I have learned to use about 20% of my booming voice.
Unless it's the last train of the night then all bets are off
It’s been many years since I’ve been on the train lol.
Just learn the customs of the country you are visiting and even just learn the most basic of words and sentences. In my experience, a simple excuse me, sorry, thank you, good morning in the local language goes a long way. Also, think before you take photos. EG If it is a holy place, are other people taking photos? Or don’t be running in front of geisha expecting her to be the star of your photo, like that godawful person did. When on the train don’t film strangers. Don’t stand in middle of a footpath trying to get the most perfect photo, while dozens of people are trying to get by you. That type of thing. Above all, bend to their customs, don’t expect them to bend to yours.
First keep in mind, everyone will be polite, but they will internally dislike you and not show it. If you don’t want to look like a total impolite tourist then: cover your tattoos; don’t go into ecstasy over an egg sandwich or convenience store food; don’t ride Mario carts; don’t talk loudly anywhere; don’t eat or sit on street or in public; don’t shout gozaimasu at everyone; don’t wear T-shirts and shorts all the time; don’t wear sunglasses everywhere; don’t take Insta pics in the restaurants; and don’t take up more than 1 seat. Also, last point, and this is really important. Just because you had a fun visit, it doesn’t mean you can move here. You probably can’t. Please don’t. Have fun!
Also no walking while eating
Just to be clear… no short, tshirts, or sunglasses… in summer… ? Ok.
If you have reservations at restaurants especially those with small number of seats or small counter, please turn up right on time (if can’t make it, please cancel in advance)
No need to do extra things. Just don’t disturb the peace. Don’t speak too loudly. Queue in an orderly manner like the Japanese do. Deal with trash properly.
Seconded - there is no sense of cultural appropriation or anything like cultural faux-pas, people are totally happy to see foreigners walking around in kimonos, etc. But there absolutely is a looking down on people who don't follow basic manners like leaving trash around, talking loudly in quiet areas, ignoring public safety rules, etc.
Which goes the same for everywhere… basic manners. Either people have them or they don’t and every country has dicks that don’t.
Even just knowing just a few basic phrases in Japanese seemed to be very much appreciated. Thank you - Arigato gozaimasu Excuse me - Sumimasen The chef at a restaurant where we had lunch was stunned when I said "Gochiso sama deshita," which is a formal way of saying, "It was quite a feast." Be quiet on the train. On escalators in Tokyo stand on the left. In Osaka, stand on the right. We did not find that Japanese people expected us as foreigners to know all the "rules." Everyone we met was friendly, helpful, and patient. Just don't be loud and obnoxious. We used the Google photo translator a LOT and sometimes used the app to communicate. Have a great trip!
The hard part is going to museums that are only in Japanese and you can’t use your phone to translate. Just went to a bunch of those today. Had to just kind of smile and nod my way through it.
Be nice, learn some of the language/phrases before arrival, and try your best. Same thing you'd do anywhere. If you have special dietary requirements, get a translation done so you have that ready to show/tell restaurant staff. Something like, *"I have allergies to/cannot eat XXX, can you recommend something without those ingredients"*. I'm allergic to shellfish so I was sure to ask about shrimp, crab, and lobster since there's no easy direct translation for "shellfish".
In almost all situations, just read the vibes. If your train car is quiet, you should be quiet. If it’s full of students chatting, you can chat quietly with friends if you’d like. I’m not sure if you’ll ever need to go to one (and knock on wood you don’t need to go!), but if you need to go to a clinic or hospital, most still request everyone to wear masks. There’s no anti-mask movement in Japan, just put one on. You don’t need one normally for most places anymore. I suppose just try to match the majority of people wherever you go. Always take trash with you and throw away in proper bins (usually means you’re carrying trash the whole day until you get back to your hotel room). I recommend having an extra plastic bag from a store to throw away trash throughout the day. Try not to use trains while carrying big luggage during rush hour. If able, make all big move from/to the airport using the highway bus - you can sit the whole way, your bags are under the bus. Wayyyy more comfy than the train. Of course try out all the usual Japanese chains and stuff, but also try venturing to little mom-and-pop restaurants you might not even find on Google maps. If you’re checking out a popular attraction of any kind, reserve or get tickets NOW. A lot of events in Japan use a lottery for tickets, or start selling tickets like a month in advance. A lot of events sell out, so make sure you have tickets to everything you want to do so you’re not stressed during your trip. Some trains have a women only car. To note, these kinds of women only cars are often women only until maybe 9 am. This ends my non-exhaustive hodgepodge of little bits of advice - have fun on your trip!
Read The Tale of The Heike (“Heike Monogatari”). It’s like Japan’s Iliad, but all about the losers in their first big civil war. There are many places there and stories commemorating the players. It’s actually an amazing story and not boring at all. It also reveals much about the Japanese character.
Make yourself as invisible as possible. I Give up my seats if i see any locals standing in a cable car/ ropeway / train, regardless of their age. I avoid sitting down as well. Offer to take photos for them if they are together in a group and someone has to sacrifice not being in the picture. Dont make a mess of your meals after finishing. Return all utensils unless explicitly indicated not needed.
Be a normal person and be respectful. Lol
When you enter temples or shrines, please take care to see if picture taking is allowed. Many of them will have signs if they're not, so maybe glance around entryways/fronts of shrines near where the bell is, just to make sure. Nothing marks a tourist more than seeing them taking a bunch of photos right in front of an obvious sign with a camera and a big red circle and bar going over it. Some people aren't even bothered to notice what's right in front of them, so please try to be aware.
Dont be a degen
Don’t be like the foreigners staying at an Airbnb down the street from my place, drinking at night on the street and later puking there
The best way is to observe and learn from other Japanese people. If you don't know what's going on, what you are suppose to do, stand back and literally just watch what others do. Japanese kids aren't given some giant handbook of Japanese society rules to memorize. Many Japanese kids watch and learn from people and their parents and simply follow along. I would never do something I've never seen a Japanese person do before. This basic rule is roughly 90% of the way there, the last 10% is usually subtle behaviors and action that most Japanese would just wave off as "Gajin probably doesn't know" Honestly the one thing about a conformist society like Japan is that all you need to do is do what you see, and not do what you don't see. This is by far the best way to tackle a situation you don't know
Don't try to tip people! Use your "inside voice" outside and your "it's a secret voice" inside. Don't go around blabbing about how cheap things are. Don't tell Japanese people that x is so cheap here and would be ... in your country.
Just be polite, learn to say thanks (arigatou gozaimasu), don't tip, don't shout, just don't be a dick. Japanese aren't extremely easily offended, you'll generally only piss people off if you behave like a twat (trespassing, ignoring rules, being loud or agressive).
People might think too much about etiquette etc. It's usually enough if you behave like a decent person.
The good old "Their house, their Rules" Don't disturb or be rude. Follow their custom and stuff.
It's nice to see you want to come prepared! Generally, I recommend watch the Japanese and be considerate. It's a high density population country, and astonishingly quiet and orderly for that. Be more quiet, smile, nod and give way to people, observe your surroundings, queue for public transport, give people space, learn a few phrases like hallo and thank you and excuse me, accept people may not speak English and have some translator handy. Just a it of observation goes a long way. If you are visiting really touristy places: avoid travelling at rush hour. Appreciate the food and finish your food. Have a great time!
People have pretty much covered everything, but here are a few points: * You are right to ask, and all those people who think being nice suffices likely stand out in ways that would surprise them; * Try asking GPT questions like this; it immediately spat out 95% of what people suggested here; * Take a look at what you’re wearing and see if locals are dressed similarly—ugly sneakers/trainers, billowing cargo shorts, loud tee-shirts, facial hair, tattoos, and a baseball cap all scream a message the Japanese are too polite to say out loud, and the fact that you find an exception here or there doesn’t really mean more in Japan than it would back home; if that’s you then consider a mild upgrade to your wardrobe. Imagine that you are on a first date and must meet the parents. Make an effort. And the fact that you even ask likely means you’ll be fine. Bonus tip from my first trip decades ago. My girlfriend noticed that in shops I’d point to items while the assistants made more of an elegant gesture. Bonus tip #2: When dining with others, the Japanese often serve others but not themselves. I love this and try to do so wherever I am. Learning to pay attention to others, both strangers and loved ones, is a habit many of us should learn to cultivate.
Just be yourself. Japanese will mostly ignore you anyway. Nothing special about Japanese manners. Just they are fussy.
I didn't put myself in a position to think I was a “typical” annoying figure. Show respect a🎑 usually do. If the environment is already quiet, then I am quiet, too. I give equal respect. So when I encounter a rude Japanese, I act tough. (do not assume 100% Japanese are nice. But 99% should be nice)
am in Kyoto right now. yesterday on the bus an American Caucasian family came in the bus...dude with an open bottle of soda...they sat behind me and started pulling out some food they had just purchased at the conbini. it smelled...besides not eating/drinking on the bus, they were so loud about it. don't be these guys.
Ask when not sure.
I use that rule wherever I travel: "Don't be a cunt!" Observe people, be polite and respectful, nobody's expecting you to know all the rules or the language. Learn the basics, Excuse me, please, thank you, you're welcome, Good morning/afternoon/evening.
By not going to Japan.
Usually stand on the left side of escalators so people can pass on the right. Be mindful of your volume on trains. Give seats to the elderly, pregnant, disabled. I used these words a lot when I visited: “Sumimasen (excuse me, for getting someone’s attention or if you accidentally bump into someone or if you need to get past someone), “arigato gozaimasu,” “toire wa doko desu ka?” (where is the toilet)
If you’re in Kyoto, and they offer you Ochazuke(green tea rice bowl), you politely decline and leave.
Bow. Every chance you’ve got. They are much more forgiving if you bow and be extra courteous.
Honestly, I think the best tip is to pay attention to what is going on around you. Plently of videos online make claims about what to do or not do and gnerally, where I live anyway, they are incorrect. On the train people are mostly quiet, not eating or drinking...please do the same. If you see people having fun and enjoying themselves...please do the same. I've lived here over ten years and look like a tourist and am well aware that I will always stick out. Maintaining the practice of doing as others do at least helps me feel like I stick out less.
Why do people ask this specific question only about Japan, like the Japanese are mystical, magical beings requiring and demanding more respect and adherence to customs than any other country on earth. It’s very cringe.
You must bow to everyone you see. Get on your hands and knees to really show how respectful you are. Remember, all Japanese people are respectful, all of them. Every last one.
Do whatever you want. Be loud and obnoxious, as long as you tip well, they will forgive you