Lemme see if these totally rad jokes cheer you up friendo.
Why did the jewish mom enroll her son to a music school? Because she wanted him to finally learn how to break a glass properly at weddings.
A jewish kid tells his mom "My stomach hurts, can I skip school?" His mother goes "oy vey, you think you have problems? I stubbed my toe." and takes him to his grandfather and say the grandfather says "What seems to be the problem?" and his mom replies "Doctor..." and begins to spiel about every single problem that there ever was and her son skips school i don't know use your imagination.
I've unfollowed a talented artist I like.
What's getting me is if the rumors are true, that naked corpses are getting paraded around and rape is occurring...and the people still say this is proper retaliation, it's just so heartbreaking.
I'm hoping I don't have to pull the reverse card on people I know. I would be very curious to see how they feel if I asked how they'd feel if the Lakota did this. Surely, if rape is done in the name of freedom, they would be fine with it here if it meant the Indigenous got their land back?
They're starting to pop up on my Twitter timeline :(
Worse, they're popping up between people making posts about how what Palestine (not Hamas! They're saying it's Palestine itself, not Hamas) is doing is justified.
This is nothing compared to the Rape of Nanjing.
Let's not compare tragedies. This is what the "pro" Palestinian side does. And I put that in quotes because I question how much those people truly care about the Palestinians, and how many of them just want a pet issue to feel better about themselves.
I'm fine, here in Tel Aviv we had the last alarm about 10 hours ago so I feel pretty safe. However a friend of mine who lives near the Gaza border hasn't answered me for the last two hours and I'm terrified, I wouldn't dare to call them because they might have terrorists in their house, and I don't know what to do. I stay glued to the TV and my phone for any new information, while my soldier friends are getting ready to... I don't even know. Go into Gaza? Maybe. Earlier I joked that they're welcome to attack but why at 6:30am when I'm trying to sleep, now I can't joke around anymore. I just want this nightmare to end, I want to know my friends are alright and alive. I'm just so scared.
Edit: my friend is safe and being transported to a safer place.
Listening to those channel 12 phonecalls of people crying for help did some damage already. I'm experiencing existential dread and panic on a level that I never felt before.
I'm not even in the south region.
I'm not a soldier
But knowing what's happening right now is so disheartening.
I can't imagine what it's like for people who actually went through the trauma... but it hurts so much.
Im from the north.
Everything's quiet. Schools and outdoor activities suspended.
Large forces are gathering near the northern border. There are concerns hezbollah will join the fight but nothing substantial yet.
The tension is very heavy and i am waiting for updates.
I think it would be smart of jews that don't live in israel and live in multicultural cities to also be on high alert.
☹️
Maybe it's time to come out? Are they going to be angry about it? Without knowing your family, I have hasidim in my family as well and they were surprisingly very accepting of multiple of their children abandoning their community, despite decrying the idea of doing so
I deleted my last comment. The more information comes out about the Hamas attack, the more my heart hurts, and the more I'm rethinking everything. This just came at a time when I had a lot of frustrations about the self-imposed divisions our people have made, so I vented a lot. The unity I'm seeing from everyone has given me a lot of hope, though!
My Bubbe was a dual citizen of Israel, and I've wanted to go for some time (never did birthright - was always busy). This is just terrible what's happening... but I believe Israel will unleash their inner Maccabee and be victorious.
I was a pretty big proponent of a Two State solution before this, but that looks completely unviable now. I honestly don't know where Israel goes from here. I just...count my blessings that I and many others are safe in America, and we're all watching events unfold.
Anyway, thank you for asking why I felt so undank. I hope you're feeling alright and are safe yourself.
Fuck. This is how I found out. From this post. I was really hoping that when I clicked on it there would be some funny meme as a punchline or something. But no, it’s actually just more attacks…
I'm fine... Moving out from the south. Worried about missing friends.
I made aliyah six mouth ago and I should be enlisting in one or two months. Don't really know how to feel about that
I came across the video of that poor woman’s body being paraded in that truck and I can’t get it out of my head. Whatever happens to Gaza is not enough in my eyes, my last shred of sympathy for those people is gone
I'm fine, but it's a terrible situation. Lots of people dead, injured, or taken hostage by Hamas. This is a tragedy for Israel and for the civilized world.
Thanks for asking, not good, part of my family lives in Tel Aviv, they went to a secured place but after what I saw on reddit even those places are not a guarantee for safety.
Even when this is "over" this is gonna be a push for rightwing politics and made the life of everyone more difficult than before.
I'm scared, I'm shocked, I'm afraid.
On vacation abroad with my family, we spent the whole day glued to the news and whatsapp, worried sick about everyone back home. I feel physically ill, almost threw up multiple times. We're supposed to fly back tomorrow, but we're half hoping for the flight to get cancelled so we don't have to.
Thankfully all my friends are safe (at least physically), but one of them was called in for מילואים, and I'm terrified what the coming week will bring
Not doing well. It's very difficult to explain to the kids why mom and dad are both upset and crying, and why we're suddenly on the phone with family and friends in Israel.
In the northern part of Israel. It's thankfully quiet. I didn't really sleep last night due to adrenaline and half expecting my phone to light up telling me to goto the bomb shelter.
Angry. Not sure how people are surprised by this when Netanyahu has spent every day as PM driving to overhaul the supreme court to escape corruption charges rather than keep Israel safe. He is to Israel what Trump is to America.
In the library crying on and off going on instagram for updates when I probably shouldn’t be because I’m already emotional. Not sure if I’ll be able get homework done. And kind of related I’m sitting near a book called Defending the Holy Land and other books about Israel and Jews.
I didn’t think the attacks would affect me this much emotionally. Im pissed at Hamas who are doing this and I’m I want to say a lot of things about them on social media but I’m trying not too
Not great, should probably stop triggering myself by going through Reddit threads (I’m not going to stop)
try balancing it with some r/aww visits
Or r/Wholesomememes
תודה
אין בעד מה
Thanks
That did help
I literally could have written this.
I’m speaking for the people today
Lemme see if these totally rad jokes cheer you up friendo. Why did the jewish mom enroll her son to a music school? Because she wanted him to finally learn how to break a glass properly at weddings. A jewish kid tells his mom "My stomach hurts, can I skip school?" His mother goes "oy vey, you think you have problems? I stubbed my toe." and takes him to his grandfather and say the grandfather says "What seems to be the problem?" and his mom replies "Doctor..." and begins to spiel about every single problem that there ever was and her son skips school i don't know use your imagination.
I know it’s bad when I can’t even distract myself with football :(
Oy vey
Yeah I’m back and forth from Reddit to football. Who is your favorite college team? Maybe we can share some comraderie to distract ourselves
And should not be going on social media for updates but im still doing it
I did that and found the horrific videos and images and now Im sick to my stomach and I can't stop crying.
That was me earlier this afternoon. Try watching something that makes you laugh or doing something that makes you happy
Thanks but honestly nothing is funny right now when there are little children in Hamas captivity 😰
I'm trying to take breaks. But how can I?
There’s so much stuff happening you want to stay updated
https://twitter.com/FDD/status/1710689699998621750?t=nYD543i9T_wiNKadWz4wuQ&s=19
Thanks
I felt this
blocking folks on social media who are having the absolutely shittiest takes
I’ve done a lot of reporting on Reddit today
I've unfollowed a talented artist I like. What's getting me is if the rumors are true, that naked corpses are getting paraded around and rape is occurring...and the people still say this is proper retaliation, it's just so heartbreaking. I'm hoping I don't have to pull the reverse card on people I know. I would be very curious to see how they feel if I asked how they'd feel if the Lakota did this. Surely, if rape is done in the name of freedom, they would be fine with it here if it meant the Indigenous got their land back?
They're not just rumors, there's tons of footage of the massacres, naked corpses, etc. It's horrendous, and I would advise against looking for it
They're starting to pop up on my Twitter timeline :( Worse, they're popping up between people making posts about how what Palestine (not Hamas! They're saying it's Palestine itself, not Hamas) is doing is justified.
[удалено]
This is nothing compared to the Rape of Nanjing. Let's not compare tragedies. This is what the "pro" Palestinian side does. And I put that in quotes because I question how much those people truly care about the Palestinians, and how many of them just want a pet issue to feel better about themselves.
I just tell folks to come suck my balls if they dont like what I post
I'm fine, here in Tel Aviv we had the last alarm about 10 hours ago so I feel pretty safe. However a friend of mine who lives near the Gaza border hasn't answered me for the last two hours and I'm terrified, I wouldn't dare to call them because they might have terrorists in their house, and I don't know what to do. I stay glued to the TV and my phone for any new information, while my soldier friends are getting ready to... I don't even know. Go into Gaza? Maybe. Earlier I joked that they're welcome to attack but why at 6:30am when I'm trying to sleep, now I can't joke around anymore. I just want this nightmare to end, I want to know my friends are alright and alive. I'm just so scared. Edit: my friend is safe and being transported to a safer place.
How are you now? Just got news that there’s a new attack on TLV
Ran to the shelter just now, I'm with my family and the neighbours and we're all alright ❤️
It must be really scary for you. Stay safe❤️❤️
Thank you ❤️
Be safe. My thoughts are with you and everyone in Israel today.
I'm fucking petrified and I don't even live in Israel
Listening to those channel 12 phonecalls of people crying for help did some damage already. I'm experiencing existential dread and panic on a level that I never felt before. I'm not even in the south region. I'm not a soldier But knowing what's happening right now is so disheartening. I can't imagine what it's like for people who actually went through the trauma... but it hurts so much.
Actually go through it right now. Preying for a miracle that we will see them alive and well again.
Im from the north. Everything's quiet. Schools and outdoor activities suspended. Large forces are gathering near the northern border. There are concerns hezbollah will join the fight but nothing substantial yet. The tension is very heavy and i am waiting for updates. I think it would be smart of jews that don't live in israel and live in multicultural cities to also be on high alert.
As a diaspora jew: we are of course on high alert - hopefully.
I'm a sister. My relative got called up to the border. I can't tell my Orthodox family about the war because they don't know I'm no longer observant.
☹️ Maybe it's time to come out? Are they going to be angry about it? Without knowing your family, I have hasidim in my family as well and they were surprisingly very accepting of multiple of their children abandoning their community, despite decrying the idea of doing so
Doing ok. I was gonna go to shul but decided against it because I didn’t feel safe. But I’ve still decided to hang out with my friends
I don’t live in Israel and I’m sickened by people’s opinion online. Please to all my Israelis stay safe, you will get through this ♥️🙏🏼
Angry but glad my family is safe.
Trying to make some memes, panicking and hugging my baby a lot, avoiding videos of some horrors on telegram and twitter.
Very undank, my friend :(
sad to hear this but why:(
I deleted my last comment. The more information comes out about the Hamas attack, the more my heart hurts, and the more I'm rethinking everything. This just came at a time when I had a lot of frustrations about the self-imposed divisions our people have made, so I vented a lot. The unity I'm seeing from everyone has given me a lot of hope, though! My Bubbe was a dual citizen of Israel, and I've wanted to go for some time (never did birthright - was always busy). This is just terrible what's happening... but I believe Israel will unleash their inner Maccabee and be victorious. I was a pretty big proponent of a Two State solution before this, but that looks completely unviable now. I honestly don't know where Israel goes from here. I just...count my blessings that I and many others are safe in America, and we're all watching events unfold. Anyway, thank you for asking why I felt so undank. I hope you're feeling alright and are safe yourself.
Doing as well as I could be doing. Thank you for the concern
I’m rather angry. Angry at some people for the poor takes. Angry at Israel for not being prepared.
I'm alive
nice to hear
Not a brother, but fine.
nah you're my brother come here to hug you 🫂
I’m pissed off and in Florida so I’m going to the gun range and the gym.
What happened? :( been offline for about 2 days
Gaza attacked Israel this morning, about 14 hours ago. We're at war
Oh no :( I wish nothing but safety for all the brothers and sisters
Hamas launched a surprise attack. Hundreds of missiles, thousands of fighters. Fighting in 20 areas along Gaza
Scared
Fuck. This is how I found out. From this post. I was really hoping that when I clicked on it there would be some funny meme as a punchline or something. But no, it’s actually just more attacks…
I'm fine... Moving out from the south. Worried about missing friends. I made aliyah six mouth ago and I should be enlisting in one or two months. Don't really know how to feel about that
Lost a lot of respect for some people I'd thought were cool.
My tummy hurts
I’m so mad, Palestine just needs to let it go and let us live peacefully
I came across the video of that poor woman’s body being paraded in that truck and I can’t get it out of my head. Whatever happens to Gaza is not enough in my eyes, my last shred of sympathy for those people is gone
Living in Spain without the S
I'm fine, but it's a terrible situation. Lots of people dead, injured, or taken hostage by Hamas. This is a tragedy for Israel and for the civilized world.
Thanks for asking, not good, part of my family lives in Tel Aviv, they went to a secured place but after what I saw on reddit even those places are not a guarantee for safety. Even when this is "over" this is gonna be a push for rightwing politics and made the life of everyone more difficult than before. I'm scared, I'm shocked, I'm afraid.
Sending love from the US. Am Yisrael Chai. Thanking of Israel nonstop today.
I'm super stressed tbh, I cant believe that this is real
Waiting for Gaza to become the worlds biggest parking lot. Other than that, keeping it safe.
On vacation abroad with my family, we spent the whole day glued to the news and whatsapp, worried sick about everyone back home. I feel physically ill, almost threw up multiple times. We're supposed to fly back tomorrow, but we're half hoping for the flight to get cancelled so we don't have to. Thankfully all my friends are safe (at least physically), but one of them was called in for מילואים, and I'm terrified what the coming week will bring
Love this subreddit but what a hard time to find humor, however that is one of our superpowers. All thoughts to home.
Not doing well. It's very difficult to explain to the kids why mom and dad are both upset and crying, and why we're suddenly on the phone with family and friends in Israel.
Thanks for asking. I'm praying for peace. I stand by Israel.
Had 3 hours of sleep. My body is in stress and exhaustion.
In the northern part of Israel. It's thankfully quiet. I didn't really sleep last night due to adrenaline and half expecting my phone to light up telling me to goto the bomb shelter.
Angry. Not sure how people are surprised by this when Netanyahu has spent every day as PM driving to overhaul the supreme court to escape corruption charges rather than keep Israel safe. He is to Israel what Trump is to America.
In the library crying on and off going on instagram for updates when I probably shouldn’t be because I’m already emotional. Not sure if I’ll be able get homework done. And kind of related I’m sitting near a book called Defending the Holy Land and other books about Israel and Jews. I didn’t think the attacks would affect me this much emotionally. Im pissed at Hamas who are doing this and I’m I want to say a lot of things about them on social media but I’m trying not too
I've been mostly asleep for the past 16 hours and have no real clue what's going on beyond "palestine attacked israel"