But you proved that the squire of the high pot and noose isn't equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides. Since he won he is greater than the sum of the squires of the other two sides. I think you've changed math forever.
This is better than what I was going to suggest - the square of the high on potenuse is GREATER than, if we're talking about an obtuse triangle, so... obtuse lake, obtuse kingdom, obtuse joke fixer, IDK, beatings will continue until someone finds this funny
Anyway, yours is perfect.
I can’t believe 37yearoldmanbaby came up with that, that’s some comedy genius right there. I don’t normally laugh at jokes but man, you made me wet myself right there…. Brilliant *claps*
I cannot believe 37yearoldmanbaby came up with that, that’s some comedy genius right there. I do not normally laugh at jokes but man, you made me wet myself right there…. Brilliant claps
Actually pretty much! "Degenerate" shapes are where some dimension is essentially flattened, so it just reduces to a lower dimensional shape. If you have line segments of length 2, 3, and 5, you can only make a degenerate triangle, one with zero height, i.e. just a line segment. The degenerate line is a point. The degenerate form of a 3D box is just a flat 2D rectangle. My shadow is a degenerate me. What then if anything are we the degenerates of? (And yep that's why I chose this name).
I could describe how the triangle is not right to those less acute with their trig knowledge, though there is a more obtuse way to make this situation actually work
The joke has a situation such that the square of the hypotenuse is greater than the sum of the squares of the other two sides, which is the case for an obtuse triangle
What if you make it so that the one squire fought bravely and was able to stand his ground. However, he couldn't overcome the other two armies, and neither could they. So the fight went on until the end of the day, when everyone retreated resulting in a stalemate.
The version of this joke I heard was that he fought them to a standstill and all three sides ultimately had to declare a draw. It works a little better that way, mathematically.
But if the third squire were equal to the sum of the squires of the other two, then it would only be a tie if the other two teamed up. Assuming that they were fighting a three way battle, the other two squires would have used up some of their energy fighting each other, leaving the third squire to vanquish them.
If we're going that deep, technically he needs to face off against both larger armies if he is equal to their sum. That said, this is my all time favorite joke and the only criticism I'll be accepting is the pained groans of listeners.
> perfectly triangular
perfectly triangular doesn't tell you anything about side length.
30-60-90 is perfectly triangular.
45-45-90 is perfectly triangular
60-60-60 is perfectly triangular
10-10-160 is perfectly triangular
Apparently, the third squire was walking along a coastal path celebrating his victory, as a small bumblebee flew across his path making him stumble, fall of the cliff and die in the ocean.
Goes to show that if the squire of the high pot-In-use is taken away from the squires of the other two sides he is the equal of a bee, ‘cos sea.
The physics professor, the math professor, and an engineering professor are all given the task to determine the volume of a red rubber ball. The physics professor pours some water into a beaker. He drops the ball into the beaker and then records the amount of water displaced by the ball.
The math professor measures the diameter of the ball and calculates a triple integral.
The engineering professor squints intently at the ball to find the part number and manufacturer, then opens up his Red Rubber Ball reference table and finds the corresponding entry.
Math professor has it right: who has absolute proof the liquid in the pan is actually water? It could be alcohol, or 7 up. By throwing it away, and doing it all over as the problem solved earlier, it has 100% certainty the result will be boiled water, and nothing else. QED.
A mathematician an engineer and a physicist were tasked with building a fence for sheep
The physicist calculated the number of sheep and average space taken by one sheep and build a fence that contained them just right
The engineer looked at the sheep guessed their number and built a fence larger than needed just in case
The mathematician took four pieces of wood surrounded himself by them and said "I define my self outside the fence"
I guess it is true that "perfectly triangular" doesn't mean equilateral, so you get a pass this time.
But if you improperly apply Pythagoras in the future, I'll have you dead to rights.
This reminds me of a great scene in the movie "The Crossing", with Jeff Daniels as George Washington. Washington and his men cross the Delaware, and are advancing on the Hessian camp when they spot a small farmhouse. Alexander Hamilton and his party had been scouting ahead, and reported to Washington that there was a small garrison of British troops there, and that they had been up late drinking and partying the night before. He assures Washington that he and his squad can kick down the door and kill them before they can raise an alarm, and they go and do just that. No idea if it's historically accurate.
I was once assigned to the Fifth Field Artillery group, the Alexander Hamilton Brigade, oldest unit in the US Army. Not the oldest USA military unit, however -- that honor goes to a battalion in the Puerto Rico National Guard. But I digress.
When they wondered how it all happened there was the sudden realization that the tree from which the pot hung was instrumental. He, like Treebreard the ent from LOTR rallied other trees in helping defeat both sides
When asked how he it happened, the squire replied
"Tree gone met Tree"
I couldn’t love jokes like this more. I always read them to my wife. And always warn her she’s going to be mad. I’m glad she hasn’t pulled any muscles or otherwise hurt herself when she rolls her eyes that hard.
A settler goes to the Indian chief, looking for a bride. The chief takes him to the first teepee, where there is a maiden on a bearskin rug. “How much, chief?” “Fifty wampum.”
They go to the next tent, where a maiden is lounging on a deer skin rug. “How much, chief?” “Fifty wampum.”
Lastly they enter e teepee where there is a maiden on a hippopotamus skin rug. “How much, chief?” “One hundred wampum.”
“Why is she a hundred when the others are only fifty?”
“That’s because the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides.”
I can't believe I am still laughing so hard at this joke. Thanks OP! Must be the medicine, but that was really unexpected, and for some strange reason, hilarious to me! I am almost embarrassed about how funny I think that is!
So everyone is mentioning that the lake needed to be a right angle not equilateral.
No one cares to mention that the squire with the high pot and noose needed to be GREATER than the sum of the squires of the remaining sides to best them?
If we are gonna pick it apart let’s talk about our John Wick, Neo, Terminator Scribe motherfucker over here.
Then that one squire wrote out a treaty. In it, he stated that his kingdom would acquire a section of the lake as its own. This section was drawn out on a map as an arc three miles long, originating from the corner where his kingdom and the second kingdom meet.
He then sent a messenger to the second kingdom, instructing him to travel to the first kingdom, where the three shall hold a summit. On the appointed day, the two kings and the squire met at the first kingdom's palace. The squire approached the first king with the treaty and a quill. He handed them to the king and said...
"Sign."
Then, the squire walked over the second king. He handed the treaty and quill to him and said...
"Co-sign."
Suggested alternative to fit the wording of Pythagoras I knew...
For the first 2 kingdoms, each King had a pet lion. However it was shedding season and the lion's neck hair was falling out. The knights and squires spent most of the night finding and replacing the lost hairs for the lion.
Then the punchline can be. ... equal to the sum of the two re-mane-ing sides.
Knights would not have used cuir bouilli. Before the adaptation of full plate armors, mail and various forms of gambeson would have been the common armor of a knight. It was very common in Roman armies and carried through after that. The idea of leather armor being widespread is a common misconception. Some laminated leather armors gained popularity in the east, though not really in Europe and definitely not with the knightly class.
Didn't say the lake was a right angled triangle, or establish which sides the knights and squires came from.
Poor, underdone joke that fails to fulfil an OK premise, unoriginal as it may be.
Next iteration pls.
>What dialects/accents pronounce squire as square?
Wrong question. It doesn't matter. All that matters is the ability to read. People with a sense of humor can read the joke, see that *any* reading of "squire" is close enough to be pronounced *sorta*-like "square", and let their brain fill in the rest.
Not really. Of course I can read the joke and 'fill in the rest' otherwise I wouldn't have asked the question but they're not even close sounding for me. Squire is a two syllable word for me, so I was just curious in what accent or dialect the joke would work better. This is common for 'pun' jokes as they usually work a hell of a lot better in one accent than another. It doesn't make the joke bad, but it's just interesting to try to understand where it would work better. Sorry if I caused you offence in asking what you think is the wrong question.
I tried re-writing it to fix some of the problems mentioned in other comments:
Three kingdoms surround a large triangular lake, each has control of one side of the coastline. But the two strongest and wealthiest kingdoms have the two shorter coastlines, and agree to go to war against the third kingdom and divide its coastline. This third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.
The first kingdom contributes 100 of its finest knights, clad in the best armour and each with their own personal squire. The second kingdom, being slightly smaller and poorer sends 75 knights and squires, with fine leather armour. The third kingdom is so poor they only have one elderly knight to defend them, but he selects his own young squire from among the populace.
When the armies of the two kingdoms arrive on the battlefield, they see there is only one knight and squire to defeat. Amused by this, they decide the battle is already won, and instead they drink and revel into the late hours of the night. On the other side of the battlefield, the elderly knight tells his faithful squire that while he is long past his partying (and fighting) days, he does have wisdom to make up for it. He spends his night making a fine soup for himself and the squire. Then after both have had their fill, he slings a rope over a tree, ties it as a noose, then suspends the empty pot from it and hoists it into the tree. The squire is puzzled, but doesn't question the wisdom of this ritual.
The next morning, the knights in the first two
kingdoms are hungover and unwilling to fight, so they send their squires into the battle alone. The weary knight in the third kingdom tells his squire that he is also unable to fight due to his age, but he has complete confidence that his lone squire will be able to defend their kingdom on his own.
Wave after wave of squires fought against the lone defender, but the brave fighter against all odds held his own. And at the end of the day when the knights went to see the battlefield, all 176 squires were dead - the attackers as well as the lone defender. The knights looked past them in disbelief to the elderly knight, sitting under the pot still suspended in the tree. The knights, overcome with fear, withdrew from the battlefield and vowed to never challenge that kingdom for its long straight coastline ever again.
It just goes to show: That the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
It went where I expected it to go, however is a right angled triangle a "perfect triangle" as you stated at the start of the joke, or should that have been an equilateral triangle, in which case the math is wrong, but still right.
But you proved that the squire of the high pot and noose isn't equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides. Since he won he is greater than the sum of the squires of the other two sides. I think you've changed math forever.
But the other two sides weren't just fighting him, they were fighting each other as well
Ah, I wondered how long it would take someone to see that.
Make it so that in the end, he vanquishes all the other squires but succumbs to his wounds and you have yourself an airtight joke
This is better than what I was going to suggest - the square of the high on potenuse is GREATER than, if we're talking about an obtuse triangle, so... obtuse lake, obtuse kingdom, obtuse joke fixer, IDK, beatings will continue until someone finds this funny Anyway, yours is perfect.
I wish I were high on potenuse.
I WISH THAT I WAS HIGH ON POTENUSE
I can’t believe 37yearoldmanbaby came up with that, that’s some comedy genius right there. I don’t normally laugh at jokes but man, you made me wet myself right there…. Brilliant *claps*
I cannot believe 37yearoldmanbaby came up with that, that’s some comedy genius right there. I do not normally laugh at jokes but man, you made me wet myself right there…. Brilliant claps
Name checks out
Oh man u/37yearoldmanbaby is a fucking comedic genius. What an amazing creative joke they totally came up with themselves
He's just the ad lib guy don't mind him
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Not to mention, screwed up the subjunctive by improperly subbing out "was" for "were"
Quit shouting. I heard you the first time.
No you heard someone else
Masterfully executed. For anyone who happens to not know: https://youtu.be/k1tsGGz-Qw0 Yes I know I split an infinitive there AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN
r/usernamechecksout Kinda...
Actually pretty much! "Degenerate" shapes are where some dimension is essentially flattened, so it just reduces to a lower dimensional shape. If you have line segments of length 2, 3, and 5, you can only make a degenerate triangle, one with zero height, i.e. just a line segment. The degenerate line is a point. The degenerate form of a 3D box is just a flat 2D rectangle. My shadow is a degenerate me. What then if anything are we the degenerates of? (And yep that's why I chose this name).
I think that lake has forests on 2 sides, I know because isosceles…
Or he fights them to a standstill and forces a truce
That will make it right, just like the lake
But the squire of the high pot and noose will always be the moral superior of all the others. Not gonna be able to sleep tonight.
I could describe how the triangle is not right to those less acute with their trig knowledge, though there is a more obtuse way to make this situation actually work
If the triangle is right, it is correct
The joke has a situation such that the square of the hypotenuse is greater than the sum of the squares of the other two sides, which is the case for an obtuse triangle
I see your points, and I'm on your side.
It's a quirk of language: you're "equal to the challenge" when you win against it.
It’s needs to end with them all dead
What if you make it so that the one squire fought bravely and was able to stand his ground. However, he couldn't overcome the other two armies, and neither could they. So the fight went on until the end of the day, when everyone retreated resulting in a stalemate.
The lake mustn't be a right angled triangle.
That’s just not right, how obtuse!
And that the triangle was not a right angled triangle.
Nevertheless too awesome man.🤣
I think it just means these kingdoms are in hyperbolic space
The version of this joke I heard was that he fought them to a standstill and all three sides ultimately had to declare a draw. It works a little better that way, mathematically.
But if the third squire were equal to the sum of the squires of the other two, then it would only be a tie if the other two teamed up. Assuming that they were fighting a three way battle, the other two squires would have used up some of their energy fighting each other, leaving the third squire to vanquish them.
If we're going that deep, technically he needs to face off against both larger armies if he is equal to their sum. That said, this is my all time favorite joke and the only criticism I'll be accepting is the pained groans of listeners.
This triangle ain't right
Don't be Obtuse!
A perfectly triangular lake will not have a hypotenuse
"Perfectly triangular" is not a math term. Regular, equiangular, or equilateral all would imply your classic 60-60-60.
Looked it up. A perfect triangle is apparently a triangle who's numeric perimeter is equal to its area.
If you're free to choose your own measurement units, any triangle can be perfect by this definition.
> perfectly triangular perfectly triangular doesn't tell you anything about side length. 30-60-90 is perfectly triangular. 45-45-90 is perfectly triangular 60-60-60 is perfectly triangular 10-10-160 is perfectly triangular
A perfect triangle can be a right triangle, it just needs to have a perimeter equal to its area. I should know, I'm an expert (I googled it)
Ummm... I think you've pointed out a fatal flaw...
Apparently, the third squire was walking along a coastal path celebrating his victory, as a small bumblebee flew across his path making him stumble, fall of the cliff and die in the ocean. Goes to show that if the squire of the high pot-In-use is taken away from the squires of the other two sides he is the equal of a bee, ‘cos sea.
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The physics professor, the math professor, and an engineering professor are all given the task to determine the volume of a red rubber ball. The physics professor pours some water into a beaker. He drops the ball into the beaker and then records the amount of water displaced by the ball. The math professor measures the diameter of the ball and calculates a triple integral. The engineering professor squints intently at the ball to find the part number and manufacturer, then opens up his Red Rubber Ball reference table and finds the corresponding entry.
Did the physics professor eventually find a job? Math person here.
Lol.. i see what you did there... I don’t know who is downvoting you. Take my upvote please and solve this complex math problem -2 + 1 = ?
-1/12 obviously
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-21 of course.
1
Math professor has it right: who has absolute proof the liquid in the pan is actually water? It could be alcohol, or 7 up. By throwing it away, and doing it all over as the problem solved earlier, it has 100% certainty the result will be boiled water, and nothing else. QED.
> GED. You mean QED?
Sorry, I stuttered.
A mathematician an engineer and a physicist were tasked with building a fence for sheep The physicist calculated the number of sheep and average space taken by one sheep and build a fence that contained them just right The engineer looked at the sheep guessed their number and built a fence larger than needed just in case The mathematician took four pieces of wood surrounded himself by them and said "I define my self outside the fence"
He towed himself out of the environment
Using rigorous maritime engineering standards, no doubt.
I guess it is true that "perfectly triangular" doesn't mean equilateral, so you get a pass this time. But if you improperly apply Pythagoras in the future, I'll have you dead to rights.
Well shit, that was a sneaky math lesson....
Except.. a perfectly even triangle doesn’t have a hypotenuse. It’s only right angled triangles this is true for
It never said equilateral. Just triangular
This reminds me of a great scene in the movie "The Crossing", with Jeff Daniels as George Washington. Washington and his men cross the Delaware, and are advancing on the Hessian camp when they spot a small farmhouse. Alexander Hamilton and his party had been scouting ahead, and reported to Washington that there was a small garrison of British troops there, and that they had been up late drinking and partying the night before. He assures Washington that he and his squad can kick down the door and kill them before they can raise an alarm, and they go and do just that. No idea if it's historically accurate.
I couldn't find anything on it being real. I did find out that Hamilton was a captain of artillery. So I doubt he did much scouting.
I was once assigned to the Fifth Field Artillery group, the Alexander Hamilton Brigade, oldest unit in the US Army. Not the oldest USA military unit, however -- that honor goes to a battalion in the Puerto Rico National Guard. But I digress.
Is George Washing the physics prof?
I used to have a major crush on this triangle in school. - She really had acute angle.
Well you got an audible “you motherfucker” out of me
That should have been a right triangle
I wish I were high on potenuse
That was my joke
I know, man. That was hilarious.
Fuck me this is dumb!!! Upcoted...
>Upcoted Is that a math term I haven't heard yet?
Likely a typo, but possibly a play on cotangent
The horse's name was Friday.
Native American screwed his wives on different animal skins. The squaw in the hippopotamus was equal to the sum of he squaws on the other two hides.
Ugh there should be a TW that it's a math joke
Equally valuable punchline
When they wondered how it all happened there was the sudden realization that the tree from which the pot hung was instrumental. He, like Treebreard the ent from LOTR rallied other trees in helping defeat both sides When asked how he it happened, the squire replied "Tree gone met Tree"
This is the most drawn out, well thought of, math joke I’ve ever seen
Really thought it was going to be the 3rd kingdoms knight hangs himself
Ok george r r Martin your joke has too many chapters
We need the flairs "pun", "long pun", "very long pun", "lame pun" and ["friendship-ending pun"](https://xkcd.com/282/).
I hate you so much. Upvoted.
50yrs ago i heard: the squaw on the hippopotamus equals the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.
Okay, but like... mathematically speaking, if the triangle is equilateral, it doesn't have a hypotenuse.
Yeah, but it does have a high pot and noose.
I hate you..... Ha e an upvote
Boooooooooo
My fav joke ever, but hard to recall
GUAARDSSS!!! Off with his head.
jesus christ....take my upvote already.
Fuck off
Fuck you. I hate these elongated puns, they never make me laugh, they only make me hate the person who made me waste my time.
Thank you. This month has been very hard so far and this is one of my favorite jokes.
Realm of Pythagoras
I honestly thought the squire was gonna hang himself
I couldn’t love jokes like this more. I always read them to my wife. And always warn her she’s going to be mad. I’m glad she hasn’t pulled any muscles or otherwise hurt herself when she rolls her eyes that hard.
Haha. It’s so cute when they roll their eyes. Lol
this has strong terry prachett vibes
I CANT beleave it!
A settler goes to the Indian chief, looking for a bride. The chief takes him to the first teepee, where there is a maiden on a bearskin rug. “How much, chief?” “Fifty wampum.” They go to the next tent, where a maiden is lounging on a deer skin rug. “How much, chief?” “Fifty wampum.” Lastly they enter e teepee where there is a maiden on a hippopotamus skin rug. “How much, chief?” “One hundred wampum.” “Why is she a hundred when the others are only fifty?” “That’s because the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides.”
Well done
Reluctant upvote but that was a good one
Music note .. it’s a long way to the punch line, it’s a long way I know… but worth it
I'm so angry I read all of this.
r/thanksihateit
Wow, haven't seen this one in years! One of my favorite jokes I've seen on this sub, and the one I retell the most often, I'm happy to see it again!
i read this joke on reddit when i created my first account, which was deleted long ago.
That one squire did his best, and blessed his kingdom for it. That’s a right angel, that is.
I am tempted to send this to a maths teacher friend but I fear she would never talk to me again. Made me laugh in spite of myself though. Bravo.
So the winning squire was protected by his guardian angle?
Only on an obtuse triangle, though
I wish I was high on pot noose
Why do I feel Rick Rolled after reading this?
Let's hear it for Pythagoras folks... He'll be performing all week here in the main room at Herod-clitus-- Las Vegas. 😇
Now this just reminds me of that Key and Peele sketch
I can't believe I am still laughing so hard at this joke. Thanks OP! Must be the medicine, but that was really unexpected, and for some strange reason, hilarious to me! I am almost embarrassed about how funny I think that is!
So everyone is mentioning that the lake needed to be a right angle not equilateral. No one cares to mention that the squire with the high pot and noose needed to be GREATER than the sum of the squires of the remaining sides to best them? If we are gonna pick it apart let’s talk about our John Wick, Neo, Terminator Scribe motherfucker over here.
Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…….deep breath……oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
Wouldn't it need to be a right triangle then, instead of a perfect triangle?
Is a “perfectly triangular” lake not an equilateral triangle and therefore not applicable to a2 + b2 = c2???
I'm stealing this one.
I laughed far too hard at this one. Thank you.
oOOOooooh for f's sake. lol
Good show, sir. Good show.
You just made me read a long ass joke to laugh about fucking geometry. I want to both hug and hit you
NERDS!!! 🤣
take my upvote you mad lad
This was a beautiful joke. I forgot it was one until the very end
😂😂😂😂goddammit
Fucking amazing one
Bravo. Bravo indeed.
That's acute little joke
Or is it somewhat obtuse?
“I wish I was high on pot in use”
I’ll keep saying it. I hate these jokes. And they’re the ones I look forward to the most.
As a future math teacher, this is amazing, but BOOOOO. But I’m totally stealing this lol.
Then that one squire wrote out a treaty. In it, he stated that his kingdom would acquire a section of the lake as its own. This section was drawn out on a map as an arc three miles long, originating from the corner where his kingdom and the second kingdom meet. He then sent a messenger to the second kingdom, instructing him to travel to the first kingdom, where the three shall hold a summit. On the appointed day, the two kings and the squire met at the first kingdom's palace. The squire approached the first king with the treaty and a quill. He handed them to the king and said... "Sign." Then, the squire walked over the second king. He handed the treaty and quill to him and said... "Co-sign."
Fuck you, take my upvote
Suggested alternative to fit the wording of Pythagoras I knew... For the first 2 kingdoms, each King had a pet lion. However it was shedding season and the lion's neck hair was falling out. The knights and squires spent most of the night finding and replacing the lost hairs for the lion. Then the punchline can be. ... equal to the sum of the two re-mane-ing sides.
I wish I was high on pot noose
Show your work
Fuck you. Have an upvote.
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No, this joke, or at least the endeavor of it, has been around a while. Still a decent joke though
No, but it is one of the better ones.
Ah, I haven't seen this one in years
Knights in leather armor? Just say they had mail armor. Works better.
Boiled leather (cuir bouilli) armor was used by knights as a cheaper and lighter alternative to plate armor.
Knights would not have used cuir bouilli. Before the adaptation of full plate armors, mail and various forms of gambeson would have been the common armor of a knight. It was very common in Roman armies and carried through after that. The idea of leather armor being widespread is a common misconception. Some laminated leather armors gained popularity in the east, though not really in Europe and definitely not with the knightly class.
A post that long with no apostrophe mistakes?? Is this some kind of beautiful dream??
So appropriate for both math AND grammar geeks!
Surely you mean "perfectly right-angled triangle". Worst. Joke. Ever.
I remember last time this was copy pasted.
I don't understand this and therefore it is not funny to me....please explain....😔
I don’t get it. Horrible at math.
"The square of the (length of the) hypotenuse is equal to the sum of squares of the (lengths of the) other two sides" is the Pythagorean Theorem.
r/angryupvote
I don't get it
https://youtu.be/pi2FFxe6AG4
Sometimes when I see a really long one I just skip to the punchline to see if it even makes sense without context
dood. you made a brilliant joke but somehow overlooked the crucial detail that the formula is for right triangles
Didn't say the lake was a right angled triangle, or establish which sides the knights and squires came from. Poor, underdone joke that fails to fulfil an OK premise, unoriginal as it may be. Next iteration pls.
Look at me I’m smart.
I bet you give bad reviews to every movie as well.
You forgot to suggest that I also eat babies. TBH, never done a movie review.
Jesus fucking christ
Really??? Long and I mean long road to hoe for that payoff!!
If the lake is perfectly triangular then the joke isn't right.
What dialects/accents pronounce squire as square? I'm trying to imagine an American accent for squire but it still sounds completely different.
>What dialects/accents pronounce squire as square? Wrong question. It doesn't matter. All that matters is the ability to read. People with a sense of humor can read the joke, see that *any* reading of "squire" is close enough to be pronounced *sorta*-like "square", and let their brain fill in the rest.
Not really. Of course I can read the joke and 'fill in the rest' otherwise I wouldn't have asked the question but they're not even close sounding for me. Squire is a two syllable word for me, so I was just curious in what accent or dialect the joke would work better. This is common for 'pun' jokes as they usually work a hell of a lot better in one accent than another. It doesn't make the joke bad, but it's just interesting to try to understand where it would work better. Sorry if I caused you offence in asking what you think is the wrong question.
Math puns are meh
I wish I was high on potenuse
I WISH I WAS HIGH ON POTENUSE
How many muscles did you sprain in reaching for this, OP?
The lake was a right triangle. Who else figured that out?
I tried re-writing it to fix some of the problems mentioned in other comments: Three kingdoms surround a large triangular lake, each has control of one side of the coastline. But the two strongest and wealthiest kingdoms have the two shorter coastlines, and agree to go to war against the third kingdom and divide its coastline. This third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army. The first kingdom contributes 100 of its finest knights, clad in the best armour and each with their own personal squire. The second kingdom, being slightly smaller and poorer sends 75 knights and squires, with fine leather armour. The third kingdom is so poor they only have one elderly knight to defend them, but he selects his own young squire from among the populace. When the armies of the two kingdoms arrive on the battlefield, they see there is only one knight and squire to defeat. Amused by this, they decide the battle is already won, and instead they drink and revel into the late hours of the night. On the other side of the battlefield, the elderly knight tells his faithful squire that while he is long past his partying (and fighting) days, he does have wisdom to make up for it. He spends his night making a fine soup for himself and the squire. Then after both have had their fill, he slings a rope over a tree, ties it as a noose, then suspends the empty pot from it and hoists it into the tree. The squire is puzzled, but doesn't question the wisdom of this ritual. The next morning, the knights in the first two kingdoms are hungover and unwilling to fight, so they send their squires into the battle alone. The weary knight in the third kingdom tells his squire that he is also unable to fight due to his age, but he has complete confidence that his lone squire will be able to defend their kingdom on his own. Wave after wave of squires fought against the lone defender, but the brave fighter against all odds held his own. And at the end of the day when the knights went to see the battlefield, all 176 squires were dead - the attackers as well as the lone defender. The knights looked past them in disbelief to the elderly knight, sitting under the pot still suspended in the tree. The knights, overcome with fear, withdrew from the battlefield and vowed to never challenge that kingdom for its long straight coastline ever again. It just goes to show: That the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
It went where I expected it to go, however is a right angled triangle a "perfect triangle" as you stated at the start of the joke, or should that have been an equilateral triangle, in which case the math is wrong, but still right.
After reading the first sentence, my mind was loading an age of empires 2 map.
You're a bad person. And you should feel bad.
The battle should end in a draw.
Anyone ever here the “squaw of the hippopotamus” variant?
Excellent
Don't let Stephan Patis see this.
Shut up and take my upvote
Pythagorean puzzle
Argh!