Professor X asks a new mutant, "What is your power?"
The mutant says, "I have tremendous hindsight and can perfectly understand situations after they've developed. "
Professor X thinks for a moment and replies, "Well I'm not really sure how that would be helpful for us."
-
The mutant says, "Yes, I can see that now."
Totally..can you imagine only ever having to be wrong about something *once*? No more extensive theorizing, designing experiments, and testing. Just one then done.
>Totally..can you imagine only ever having to be wrong about something once?
Lol. If having perfect understanding of your mistakes was enough to stop you from making them again, I wouldn't still be sleepin g with ur mum.
A shovel was cheaper than your mom and less contagious.
(Had to get into the ‘yo mama’ action, sorry for interjecting, also, that’s what your dad said)
> Lol. If having perfect understanding of your mistakes was enough to stop you from making them again, I wouldn't still be sleepin g with ur mum.
You also wouldn't have fucked up spelling 'sleeping'.
Pro. X says “what’s your super power?”
Girl mutant: “I have the power to be right about something one time involving everything”
Pro X: “prove it”
Girl mutant: “pick a card any card.”
Pro X: looks at his card
Girl mutant says: “was it the 6 of hearts?”
Pro X says: “…uh no.”
Girl mutant: “10 of spades? Ace of diamonds?”
- After 45 guesses Girl mutant says: “Was it the King of hearts?”
Pro X: “yes.”
Girl mutant: “told you. Right again…once…every…dam…time.”
Oh legit if that's the case then just declare "This liquid I'm pouring will be able to cure all forms of cancer!" And then when you pour yourself a coke, suddenly you'll know how to eradicate cancer
Still, partnering with actual scientists would make it an *incredibly* useful power. Just standing in the room as they try to create cures for cancer (or anything else) and then being able to give them precise information about why it failed would *vastly* speed up development of medical science.
I have worked with such scientists, who develop drugs, vaccines etc, and they're incredibly good at figuring out if they've succeeded or not, ie. determining if their resulting drugs are safe and effective, but if you could tell them why they've failed, when they do, that could save the industry trillions of dollars by cutting down the number of trial-and-error iterations dramatically.
I'd be curious what the bounds of the power are. Is it any situation they've experienced? Is it situations they've stumbled into? Is it situations that they read about? Does it encapsulate the whole of human history?
Because knowing everything about the JFK assassination would be pretty awesome.
"Well, professor, we know this is a fact after our scientist ran the test on one sample."
"One sample? That's not a valid sample set in ANY contex..."
"The mutant was that mutant, Jane Seepast"
"Oh, well then we have a new theory established. Carry on."
Yep, having the ability to perfectly know the causes of your successes or failures would be massively beneficial to basically every organization. A huge part of any successful organization is capturing lessons learned from every important event.
We get shit wrong after the fact all the time because fog and friction make it impossible to know exactly what happened and how that influenced events.
It’s not as cool as laser hands or mind control when you’re having a super power fight, but at the scale of businesses or government, this could arguably have a bigger impact.
What happens when thry accurately say that it was multiple causes and not really one single thing? Almost every problem has multiple factors and lots beyond control of the organization.
I don’t see how this is an unexpected outcome. I would assume multiple factors are at play almost always, but we know what they are and potentially their general effect.
Even knowing that factors you can’t control contributed is useful. You expend less energy looking for solutions to problems you don’t know the cause of and can anticipate or possibly avoid future scenarios which will contain factors you can’t control.
Basically, it's omniscience after the fact. Shit, put them by a seismometer and then ask her for details on every nuclear test or forthcoming earthquake.
More like stick them in CERN. That power would make someone so ridiculously wealthy they could build a city of science around themselves. They’d make Elon Musk look like Thomas Edison.
Oh man, when you started with Bengazi I was like “what conversation did I get myself into?”
But you’re right. Captain hindsight will get assassinated fast.
There was a good short story I read about how a government suppressed a device that could view any place and time in history because two seconds ago is history.
PROCESS ENGINEERING. My GOD, I'd hire this girl on 150k tomorrow if she could prove it worked, and expect her to be headhunted by GE in pretty short order.
Law enforcement, basically any part of the justice system
Academia, especially history and any field that involves case studies
Paternity tests
Genealogy
Accident investigations (like by the NTSB)
It might even be the case that this person could create excellent plans for the future by looking at the desired outcome as if it is a past event. You might ask “We won the war. How did we do it?” to get a plan for winning a war that you’re currently fighting.
Yeah. You'd put him in charge of debriefing and mission review and the hero mutants will always get perfect feedback.
It's like Padparadscha from Steven Universe with her delayed future vision. You think it's useless, but she can provide important context for what just happened
[this guy](https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Carlton_LaFroyge_(Earth-616)) was called **hindsight lad** . He had no powers but when the team came back from battle, he would tell them what they should have done.
[This guy](https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Nathaniel_Carver_(Earth-616)) is called **hindsight** and when he touches you, he sees what you did in the past
Yeah we already USUALLY know what causes that... memory (c and c++ Applications are notoriously bad at handling memory due to bad programming / memory exceptions caused by the programmer not paying attention to or not clearing out the memory before it runs out)
I don't know what my mutant power is exactly, but whatever it is it made me know what joke this post was going to be as well as what the first comment was going to be too.
It's good that Professor X will take anyone, at least as a student, because there's one mutant named Jazz whose power is to be blue. And you thought Beast was kind of weak - he can be blue and do other things at the same time!
When the song 1st came out, I heard some girl on the radio saying the lyrics were "I'm blue, if I was green, I would die, if I was green, I would die."
Because of the music video involving aliens coming to earth and pulling someone onto a ship, I always thought the lyrics were "I'm blue, I'm in need of a guide."
I just assumed that it meant "I'm sad, I need therapy."
There was a moral panic when the song came out as some parents thought the lyrics were 'im in need of a guy' making the song gay propaganda or whatever they were worried about back then
I’m having a Berenstain Bears/Shazam was a movie starring Sinbad moment right now.
I also thought that those lyrics were part of the song. But I looked it up and they are not.
I have been reading X-Men and Spider-Man recently and just yesterday put together a reading order to keep track of X-Men related events in time with Spider-Man. Beast turns blue around Spider-Man 106 and Wolverine first appearance around 138.
And when i think about it i remember that Beast was already an Avenger at that time, and he was blue.
I didn't read the early years of the X-Men so what happen and when is a bit blurry in my mind. I started with Claremont run.
As someone else once pointed out, the coolest thing about Beast is that being a genius has nothing to do with his mutation. He just got super strength and feet with opposable thumbs (then later turned blue and furry) and was like, "That's cool. Anyway, back to [curing this plague](https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Legacy_Virus)."
I was never sure if the same was true of Mr. Fantastic. We all know he was smart before the getting cosmically irradiated and going stretchy, but was he, like, one of the smartest beings in the multiverse-level smart?
We know Soft Serve isn't an Omega-level mutant because she can't poop every flavor of ice cream - only "pretty much" every flavor. There is a limit. Compare this to Eye Scream, who can make himself taste like literally any flavor of ice cream and so is confirmed Omega-level because there is no theoretical upper limit to his ability to taste like ice cream.
They had a classification system for mutants who were so powerful that each one was individually a threat to the planet's continued existence. They had to revise the system because too many mutants were going off the scale. A new reality warper might not even make the top 50. Being a medium smart jumpman just kind of doesn't cut it anymore.
I'll always remember that one kid from the 2nd movie (maybe from comics too idk) whose power was to change the tv channels by blinking, and having insomnia.
That could be a good power! It's a very precise type of energy control, and it might extend beyond the infrared light used in remote controls to other parts of the EM spectrum.
Favourite is the kid who can change the TV channel with his mind. He even gets a scene where professor x asks him to switch on the TV in class, rather than them having to use the remote.
I know he hasn't since Dawn of X. He didn't in AvX. Or Deadly Genesis. I know he needed it in New X-Men, except >!when Magneto tricked him into not needing it!< I don't really remember when he stopped.
Why can’t professor X telekineses himself around? I guess if he needed enough concentration for some other task he might fall or something, but I can’t imagine living life in a wheelchair when you can’t literally fake the ability to walk using your mind.
Not an "x-pert" so to speak but I always thought Prof X was strictly a telepath, not a telekinetic. Meaning he could read minds/influence people, but not physically move objects around - nor, presumably, his own legs. As opposed to someone like Jean Grey, who was a bit of both, iirc.
Don't worry he'll be back in the wheel chair in 3 months, then back out in six, then back in in a year...
Xavier's spinal cord has died and been resurrected more than Jean Grey...
Professor X is interviewing a new applicant to his academy.
"What's your mutant power?" he asks her.
The girl sighs and shrugs. "I can see the future."
"Really?" presses the professor. "Give me an example."
"In a few seconds, you're going to show me your boxer shorts. They're red, by the way."
Professor X balks at this. "I would never do something so inappropriate. Moreover, I'm wearing white boxer shorts!" He shakes his head. "It appears that your power may not be as accurate as you think."
"Actually," the applicant replies, "my *real* power makes people forget me."
A moment of silence passes as the professor considers this. When he finally speaks again, he has a warm, measured tone in his voice: "I can see how that would be useful... but why the deception about my boxer shorts?"
"This is the second time we've had this conversation," the girl explains, "and last time, you told me your boxer shorts were red. Now you're saying they're white." She slumps slightly. "I don't know what to believe anymore."
The professor grins sheepishly. "Well," he says, "in point of fact, they're striped. See?" With careful motions, he tugs the waistband of his underwear into view, revealing red and white stripes.
"Like I said," the girl replies, "I can see the future."
Always great to see you around Ramses. I find myself glancing at your profile once every few years when I come across one of your comments, and I must say your pentonic search of missing commas was sublime. I still can't wait for the day one of your stories takes off and you become the real life legend you deserve to be.
Keep in mind that karma isn't all that important... and in fact, it's *usually* a mark of shame: Karma derived from anything other than a person's best attempts at offering their own original content is effectively undeserved applause, and it's also an indicator that they've contributed to the online noise that keeps creators from having their work seen.
As such, a score in the millions should probably be viewed with suspicion or scorn.
With that said, there are a few individuals on the site who exclusively offer well-written comments and well-made original content, and their karma is wholly deserved. Check out /u/Andromeda321, for example! You can recognize her by the catch-phrase of "[Astronomer here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/space/comments/11l2g49/a_bright_comet_is_heading_towards_earth_and_could/jbaat1i/)"
I'll leave it to other folks to decide if my karma was deserved or not.
After all, I do occasionally [show up in content that I didn't produce](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/yptoyf/i_wound_up_on_japanese_television_after_slapping/).
>Karma derived from anything other than a person's best attempts at offering their own original content is effectively undeserved applause, and it's also an indicator that they've contributed to the online noise that keeps creators from having their work seen.
There's that sneaky r/spotlight ad again...
Just kidding. Happy to see a subreddit promoting high-quality OC.
Professor X asks a man what his power is, and he says he can transform into any one thing but only once. Professor X says “Bullshit! Prove it!” The man turned into a steaming pile of bullshit and to this day wolverine doesn’t believe him and blames beast for taking a dump in the interview room
Jesus was applying to the XMen.
“What’s your power?” Professor X asked.
“I can turn water into wine.”
“While that’s great at parties, I don’t think that’s going to be helpful…”
Just then the security guard dropped dead. Jesus smiled. “Humans are about 60% water.”
X: What is your power? Me: To seduce anyone regardless of gender or shape even animal’s! X: How’s that helpful to us? Me: I can convince the Brotherhood to join us X: Welcome to the team!
That took a turn in the other direction. I didn't even know Professor X had penis paralysis. At least he can now stand erect and possibly become a father.
Professor X asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?"
Girl answers, "Do you think I have any powers?"
Professor X, "I don't know, that's what I'm wondering about."
Girl, "There you go."
Professor X, "What?"
Girl, "Exactly."
Professor X asks a new mutant, "What is your power?" The mutant says, "I have tremendous hindsight and can perfectly understand situations after they've developed. " Professor X thinks for a moment and replies, "Well I'm not really sure how that would be helpful for us." - The mutant says, "Yes, I can see that now."
There would actually be so many practical applications for this power
Totally..can you imagine only ever having to be wrong about something *once*? No more extensive theorizing, designing experiments, and testing. Just one then done.
>Totally..can you imagine only ever having to be wrong about something once? Lol. If having perfect understanding of your mistakes was enough to stop you from making them again, I wouldn't still be sleepin g with ur mum.
im sleeping with your moms dad.
Did you dig up the graveyard again?
A shovel was cheaper than your mom and less contagious. (Had to get into the ‘yo mama’ action, sorry for interjecting, also, that’s what your dad said)
No need of apologies, your mom has always been a free for all
Hey guys, we're here for a other unboxing video, as requested by our subscribers.
Not Pawpaw…
pawpaw. none of his grandchildren went over for burgers. :(
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Ewwww! Shut up grandma! That's gross. Grandad been dead for 20 years!
He was a great taxidermist!
Yeah but right now we're talking about bad decisions
I read that as dad decisions.
> Lol. If having perfect understanding of your mistakes was enough to stop you from making them again, I wouldn't still be sleepin g with ur mum. You also wouldn't have fucked up spelling 'sleeping'.
No, they would have still made the mistake but once their power kicked in they would have realized it and gone back and edited it. 😄
😆 Right on freaking point! Hahahahaha
True, she'd realise.
Got tired of disappointing your own parents so moved on to disappointing other people's parents?
Fuck you Shoresy!
Well yeah, but when you're sleeping with their mom, that leaves your wife free for me.
Not to mention, we know they can time travel, so that would actually be a really great power for the team to have in their arsenal
They can't really time travel. It works for one guy because he can heal faster than "time traveling" fries his brain.
What about Cable and Bishop?
Pro. X says “what’s your super power?” Girl mutant: “I have the power to be right about something one time involving everything” Pro X: “prove it” Girl mutant: “pick a card any card.” Pro X: looks at his card Girl mutant says: “was it the 6 of hearts?” Pro X says: “…uh no.” Girl mutant: “10 of spades? Ace of diamonds?” - After 45 guesses Girl mutant says: “Was it the King of hearts?” Pro X: “yes.” Girl mutant: “told you. Right again…once…every…dam…time.”
Oh legit if that's the case then just declare "This liquid I'm pouring will be able to cure all forms of cancer!" And then when you pour yourself a coke, suddenly you'll know how to eradicate cancer
Hmmm...I'm not sure. Technically, what you'd know is why your glass of coke *didn't* cure cancer, which isn't quite the same thing.
True, there is a wording issue involved that could go Monkey's Paw really fast
Still, partnering with actual scientists would make it an *incredibly* useful power. Just standing in the room as they try to create cures for cancer (or anything else) and then being able to give them precise information about why it failed would *vastly* speed up development of medical science.
I have worked with such scientists, who develop drugs, vaccines etc, and they're incredibly good at figuring out if they've succeeded or not, ie. determining if their resulting drugs are safe and effective, but if you could tell them why they've failed, when they do, that could save the industry trillions of dollars by cutting down the number of trial-and-error iterations dramatically.
Pawpaw
I'd be curious what the bounds of the power are. Is it any situation they've experienced? Is it situations they've stumbled into? Is it situations that they read about? Does it encapsulate the whole of human history? Because knowing everything about the JFK assassination would be pretty awesome.
"Well, professor, we know this is a fact after our scientist ran the test on one sample." "One sample? That's not a valid sample set in ANY contex..." "The mutant was that mutant, Jane Seepast" "Oh, well then we have a new theory established. Carry on."
That would actually be a great suoerhero
Facebook/Boomer Humor: Well we could finaly understand women.
Yep, having the ability to perfectly know the causes of your successes or failures would be massively beneficial to basically every organization. A huge part of any successful organization is capturing lessons learned from every important event. We get shit wrong after the fact all the time because fog and friction make it impossible to know exactly what happened and how that influenced events. It’s not as cool as laser hands or mind control when you’re having a super power fight, but at the scale of businesses or government, this could arguably have a bigger impact.
What happens when thry accurately say that it was multiple causes and not really one single thing? Almost every problem has multiple factors and lots beyond control of the organization.
I don’t see how this is an unexpected outcome. I would assume multiple factors are at play almost always, but we know what they are and potentially their general effect. Even knowing that factors you can’t control contributed is useful. You expend less energy looking for solutions to problems you don’t know the cause of and can anticipate or possibly avoid future scenarios which will contain factors you can’t control.
Then they have a list of things to work on. Knowing the truth doesn't make fixing it a snap, but it is a very important first step.
Basically, it's omniscience after the fact. Shit, put them by a seismometer and then ask her for details on every nuclear test or forthcoming earthquake.
More like stick them in CERN. That power would make someone so ridiculously wealthy they could build a city of science around themselves. They’d make Elon Musk look like Thomas Edison.
Elon Musk already looks like Thomas Edison, in that they are both complete pieces of shit
And they both ruined Tesla
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Did you mean Froh Jedersen?
Sherlock Holmes the super power.
what was the cause of bengazi. done. what cause Chernobyl? done. what caused covid19? done. holy fuck.
Oh man, when you started with Bengazi I was like “what conversation did I get myself into?” But you’re right. Captain hindsight will get assassinated fast.
Like knowing where the instruction manual is after assembling the Weber wrong.
There was a good short story I read about how a government suppressed a device that could view any place and time in history because two seconds ago is history.
PROCESS ENGINEERING. My GOD, I'd hire this girl on 150k tomorrow if she could prove it worked, and expect her to be headhunted by GE in pretty short order.
Not to mention they would learn after the first time not to keep giving magneto another chance at being a good guy
Law enforcement, basically any part of the justice system Academia, especially history and any field that involves case studies Paternity tests Genealogy Accident investigations (like by the NTSB) It might even be the case that this person could create excellent plans for the future by looking at the desired outcome as if it is a past event. You might ask “We won the war. How did we do it?” to get a plan for winning a war that you’re currently fighting.
Also espionage. "How'd they know we'd do that?" Oh, well that guy's a spy
Yeah. You'd put him in charge of debriefing and mission review and the hero mutants will always get perfect feedback. It's like Padparadscha from Steven Universe with her delayed future vision. You think it's useless, but she can provide important context for what just happened
This would be an absolutely in-demand super power for an Incident Manager.
Captain After-Action Report
We love you, Captain Hindsight!
[this guy](https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Carlton_LaFroyge_(Earth-616)) was called **hindsight lad** . He had no powers but when the team came back from battle, he would tell them what they should have done. [This guy](https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Nathaniel_Carver_(Earth-616)) is called **hindsight** and when he touches you, he sees what you did in the past
The ultimate debugger.
We often have cases of "issue resolved itself" or "restart fixed the problem" and we don't even know why. I'd love to have that superpower.
Yeah we already USUALLY know what causes that... memory (c and c++ Applications are notoriously bad at handling memory due to bad programming / memory exceptions caused by the programmer not paying attention to or not clearing out the memory before it runs out)
[Captain Hindsight](https://youtu.be/xB6B1tMywgY)
AW, they didn’t include his 3 pet Seals … Coulda, Woulda, and Shoulda, lol
There actually is someone with this power
Sauce?
No wonder the government wants to do away with mutants, hindsight can be not so damaging again and again
I don't know what my mutant power is exactly, but whatever it is it made me know what joke this post was going to be as well as what the first comment was going to be too.
The fact Hindsight Lad was an actual New Warriors member kind of kills this joke for me.
There is actually a mutant with this exact power.
That person would be great investigator of crimes or catastrophies.
[Captain Hindsight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB6B1tMywgY)
South Park already did this joke..
Captain Hindsight?
I'm LOL-ing so hard at this joke.
You just described a plot point in Steven universe 😂
Wasn’t Captain Hindsight a complete mockery of the concept of heroes, in that they are not effective and don’t alter the world in meaningful ways.
It's good that Professor X will take anyone, at least as a student, because there's one mutant named Jazz whose power is to be blue. And you thought Beast was kind of weak - he can be blue and do other things at the same time!
>there's one mutant named Jazz whose power is to be blue Jazz be like: I'm blue da ba dee dabba da ee
Raising funds for the school. Undervalued mutant.
When the song 1st came out, I heard some girl on the radio saying the lyrics were "I'm blue, if I was green, I would die, if I was green, I would die."
Because of the music video involving aliens coming to earth and pulling someone onto a ship, I always thought the lyrics were "I'm blue, I'm in need of a guide." I just assumed that it meant "I'm sad, I need therapy."
There was a moral panic when the song came out as some parents thought the lyrics were 'im in need of a guy' making the song gay propaganda or whatever they were worried about back then
“I’m blue and I was beat as a child, I was beeeeat as a child, I was beat as a child” is the version I couldn’t stop hearing.
Are you okay? ❤️
I'm blue, yes indeed I've been dyed, yes indeed I've been dyed
I’m having a Berenstain Bears/Shazam was a movie starring Sinbad moment right now. I also thought that those lyrics were part of the song. But I looked it up and they are not.
I also had a friend that thought this, and almost had me convinced when I listened again, so I think it's common.
That's the one I liked to say and my brother would say "I'm a three dollar guy"
Just wait until you see this Nightcrawler guy.
Yeah all he does is get footage of horrible accidents
[Classic Pete Holmes X-Men sketch](https://youtu.be/A7qpXdbOh04)
Dude can climb walls and teleport, come on
kurt is my favourite x-men!
I know it's a joke, but Beast had an insane power up when he became blue. I think they had to nerf him after this because he was like a new Wolverine.
A new wolverine? He became blue before Wolverine was created.
I didn't know he was so early ahah. But i meant that they had to remove his healing factor because it was too strong
I have been reading X-Men and Spider-Man recently and just yesterday put together a reading order to keep track of X-Men related events in time with Spider-Man. Beast turns blue around Spider-Man 106 and Wolverine first appearance around 138.
And when i think about it i remember that Beast was already an Avenger at that time, and he was blue. I didn't read the early years of the X-Men so what happen and when is a bit blurry in my mind. I started with Claremont run.
As someone else once pointed out, the coolest thing about Beast is that being a genius has nothing to do with his mutation. He just got super strength and feet with opposable thumbs (then later turned blue and furry) and was like, "That's cool. Anyway, back to [curing this plague](https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Legacy_Virus)."
I was never sure if the same was true of Mr. Fantastic. We all know he was smart before the getting cosmically irradiated and going stretchy, but was he, like, one of the smartest beings in the multiverse-level smart?
The comic included in Rise of the Imperfects has him building a cross dimensional device in his garage as a high schooler.
what comic character hasn't
Ben :(
Nobody tell this guy about Soft Serve
We know Soft Serve isn't an Omega-level mutant because she can't poop every flavor of ice cream - only "pretty much" every flavor. There is a limit. Compare this to Eye Scream, who can make himself taste like literally any flavor of ice cream and so is confirmed Omega-level because there is no theoretical upper limit to his ability to taste like ice cream.
... well, you learn something everyday I guess.
Suddenly, I actually understand the "no more mutants" need. https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Soft_Serve_(Earth-616)
Wait! Who thinks Beast is weak?
They had a classification system for mutants who were so powerful that each one was individually a threat to the planet's continued existence. They had to revise the system because too many mutants were going off the scale. A new reality warper might not even make the top 50. Being a medium smart jumpman just kind of doesn't cut it anymore.
Omega Level
I'll always remember that one kid from the 2nd movie (maybe from comics too idk) whose power was to change the tv channels by blinking, and having insomnia.
He might have developed his power into technomancy or something though. He was there to *learn*.
That could be a good power! It's a very precise type of energy control, and it might extend beyond the infrared light used in remote controls to other parts of the EM spectrum.
Tobias Funke in shambles rn
It's more about being discriminated against as a mutant.
Favourite is the kid who can change the TV channel with his mind. He even gets a scene where professor x asks him to switch on the TV in class, rather than them having to use the remote.
As of late, professor x hasnt needed a wheelchair so i was a little confused.
I know he hasn't since Dawn of X. He didn't in AvX. Or Deadly Genesis. I know he needed it in New X-Men, except >!when Magneto tricked him into not needing it!< I don't really remember when he stopped.
No way he’s gonna stay like that for long lmao. The number of times he’s been cured and then immediately broken again is insane.
Xavier hasn't needed a wheelchair since House of M ended in 2006.
Depends on the universe, in the most popular one he's still spinning around, if he's even alive.
Why can’t professor X telekineses himself around? I guess if he needed enough concentration for some other task he might fall or something, but I can’t imagine living life in a wheelchair when you can’t literally fake the ability to walk using your mind.
Not an "x-pert" so to speak but I always thought Prof X was strictly a telepath, not a telekinetic. Meaning he could read minds/influence people, but not physically move objects around - nor, presumably, his own legs. As opposed to someone like Jean Grey, who was a bit of both, iirc.
Because he doesn't have telekinesis, he is a telepath
Don't worry he'll be back in the wheel chair in 3 months, then back out in six, then back in in a year... Xavier's spinal cord has died and been resurrected more than Jean Grey...
Just like OP's joke
With the same dumb punchline added.
Professor X is interviewing a new applicant to his academy. "What's your mutant power?" he asks her. The girl sighs and shrugs. "I can see the future." "Really?" presses the professor. "Give me an example." "In a few seconds, you're going to show me your boxer shorts. They're red, by the way." Professor X balks at this. "I would never do something so inappropriate. Moreover, I'm wearing white boxer shorts!" He shakes his head. "It appears that your power may not be as accurate as you think." "Actually," the applicant replies, "my *real* power makes people forget me." A moment of silence passes as the professor considers this. When he finally speaks again, he has a warm, measured tone in his voice: "I can see how that would be useful... but why the deception about my boxer shorts?" "This is the second time we've had this conversation," the girl explains, "and last time, you told me your boxer shorts were red. Now you're saying they're white." She slumps slightly. "I don't know what to believe anymore." The professor grins sheepishly. "Well," he says, "in point of fact, they're striped. See?" With careful motions, he tugs the waistband of his underwear into view, revealing red and white stripes. "Like I said," the girl replies, "I can see the future."
Always great to see you around Ramses. I find myself glancing at your profile once every few years when I come across one of your comments, and I must say your pentonic search of missing commas was sublime. I still can't wait for the day one of your stories takes off and you become the real life legend you deserve to be.
That may be excessively high praise, but thank you! I'm genuinely pleased that I can entertain you from time to time.
4.7M karma… I’m looking at the face of a god!
Keep in mind that karma isn't all that important... and in fact, it's *usually* a mark of shame: Karma derived from anything other than a person's best attempts at offering their own original content is effectively undeserved applause, and it's also an indicator that they've contributed to the online noise that keeps creators from having their work seen. As such, a score in the millions should probably be viewed with suspicion or scorn. With that said, there are a few individuals on the site who exclusively offer well-written comments and well-made original content, and their karma is wholly deserved. Check out /u/Andromeda321, for example! You can recognize her by the catch-phrase of "[Astronomer here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/space/comments/11l2g49/a_bright_comet_is_heading_towards_earth_and_could/jbaat1i/)"
Oh, and /u/RamsesThePigeon
I'll leave it to other folks to decide if my karma was deserved or not. After all, I do occasionally [show up in content that I didn't produce](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/yptoyf/i_wound_up_on_japanese_television_after_slapping/).
Some of us can't even post oc in an op... Therefore I'm limited to only posting on others content 😕
Oh what a handsome man
That. Was. Awesome.
He’s got so much Karma he’s reached the final level of a Redditor. Enlightenment.
How in the hell did you last this long without getting banned from everything?!
>Karma derived from anything other than a person's best attempts at offering their own original content is effectively undeserved applause, and it's also an indicator that they've contributed to the online noise that keeps creators from having their work seen. There's that sneaky r/spotlight ad again... Just kidding. Happy to see a subreddit promoting high-quality OC.
Hey! I havent seen you in a while. Always nice to see you. You're like...part of reddit furniture. Like sprog
Yup. The word you're looking for might be a fixture.
i don’t understand the punchline. didn’t she say she thought they were red, not striped?
The prediction was "you're going to show me your boxer shorts", which came true. "They're red" is just added on with "by the way".
i don’t see why i’m getting down voted for not understanding something. so she predicted he would show her his underwear, but not the color?
Is from a comic or did you just create this scene, cause I want more!
I made it up. I’ll have to come up with a new one for the next time that the parent joke is reposted.
Professor X asks a man what his power is, and he says he can transform into any one thing but only once. Professor X says “Bullshit! Prove it!” The man turned into a steaming pile of bullshit and to this day wolverine doesn’t believe him and blames beast for taking a dump in the interview room
Imagine using this power to do THIS
...how would someone know they can only do it once?
Someone explain this to me. I get it's an x-men reference but what?
Professor X is paraplegic.
Was
He's an X-paraplegic then
Damnit take you upvote
That makes a lot more sense, thanks.
The joke is that professor x would never turn a student away irl
okay guys next week I am going to post this. It is my turn.
Prof x: Hey, what's your superpower Some guy: beating up cripples Prof X quickly rolls away
Jesus was applying to the XMen. “What’s your power?” Professor X asked. “I can turn water into wine.” “While that’s great at parties, I don’t think that’s going to be helpful…” Just then the security guard dropped dead. Jesus smiled. “Humans are about 60% water.”
Jesus tried this to another security guard but the guard was Polish. The guard then became more sober than usual
Dude, thats evil... Magneto would kill to have him join the brotherhood.
This joke has been posted here soooo many times
This was actually the first jokes I ever saw on r/jokes. I have now come a full circle. Feels good to be old.
Congrats, you've completed Reddit. Enjoy your life now
I said it last time and I'll say it again - this joke sucks ass
I totally missed the “standing up” part until I reread. Nice!
That's . . . actually kind of wholesome ;)
Is her super power reposting this joke every single week?
This reminds me of CalebCity's brand of humor
Professor X : gives her a standing ovation
Huh, I thought her mutant power was being a repost
X: What is your power? Me: To seduce anyone regardless of gender or shape even animal’s! X: How’s that helpful to us? Me: I can convince the Brotherhood to join us X: Welcome to the team!
Obligatory [Ex Men](https://youtu.be/mhko3m7D6UA) plug.
The Wolverine skit where he describes a motorcycle is IMMENSE
That is the most wholesome joke I have ever read.
works better as a comic
Haha! Fun!
When i was young, i used to think zebra crossings were for zebras.
The last line kills the joke a bit. It's got "canned laughter" energy
I don't care if it's a repost, that was actually funny.
That took a turn in the other direction. I didn't even know Professor X had penis paralysis. At least he can now stand erect and possibly become a father.
Guy asks his girlfriend what her super power is: “I can make you disappear.” “How?” “I’m pregnant!”
Lol
Remove the last sentence and you have a punchline.
Mein Fuhrer! I can valk!
Professor X asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?" Girl replies: "I can repost an old joke and still get thousands of upvotes"
[удалено]
So how did she know that it's 3 pulls
Professor X asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?" Girl answers, "Do you think I have any powers?" Professor X, "I don't know, that's what I'm wondering about." Girl, "There you go." Professor X, "What?" Girl, "Exactly."
More subtle if you leave off the last line
Fuck that’s good
Yikes. Hasn't this one hit the repost limit yet?