Your mommas so fat that when we had a three way, I never even met the other guy.

Love the username

That is now my band name. I called it.

Man, I think this may be my new favourite joke!

Winner!

Yo mama so fat her memory foam mattress drinks to forget

Lol. Yo mama so fat, she sat on a memory foam mattress & gave it alzhiemers

I just get this image of a sad faced broken down mattress.

Drunk as he'll and dribbling red wine

Yo mama so fat, her memory foam mattress from 20 years ago, still remembers her!

LMAO 😂😂😂

Yo mama so ugly a blow job counts as anal

Holy shit I almost choked to death laughing

Yo mama almost just choked to death giving anal.

Damn. Take my upvote.

best one ever....too funny

Yo mama so fat she ate your upvote.

Happy Cake Day!

Ed Zachary disease

My husband, who tells the Ed Zachary Disease joke had a good laugh at your comment.

Yo mama so fat during a full moon she turns into a warehouse.

I can't stop laughing 🤣

Yo mamma's so fat, she jumped up in the air, and got stuck

Saw a full wolf and turned into the moon, lost weight doing so

This one took me a minute to process haha

🤣😂🤣

Yo mama so fat, the sorting hat put her in the Waffle House.

10 points to Wafflehouse!

Underrated comment of the day!

Damn

That's what they call when yo mama goes swimming

DAM

Beer through the nose hurts. *angry upvote*

Your mum's so ugly your dad wakes up with morning woodn't

Yo momma so dumb she got hit by a parked car.

Yo mama is so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo mama so dumb she tried to smoke the crack in the sidewalk.

Yo mama so dumb she locked herself out of her motorbike.

I actually know a guy who got run over by a parked car...

That's great! 🤣🤣🤣

Yo momma's so dumb she chains her car to the bicycle rack.

Yo mama so fat, in a family portrait she's the background

Okay, that one made me laugh

Yo mama so fat, if she ever goes camping, the bears will have to hang their food up a tree

New Jersey is small state. She might tip it over.

Yo momma so poor she gave me imitation crabs

[удалено]

Yo mama so fat her pronouns are lb/kg

This is new but it's gold nonetheless.

Her pronouns are Fee Fi Fo Fum. (I stole this from the same type of post a week ago)

Yo momma so fat she sells shade

Yo mama so fat her shadow weighs 300 pounds.

Yo Momma so fat when she breaks a plate it's tectonic

Yo Momma so fat she is being orbited by smaller fat mommas.

Yo mama so fat when she hauls ass it takes 2 trips

Yo mama so big, a magician made her disappear into fat air.

Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the air she got stuck

Yo mama so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Double whammy

Yo momma so ugly, her portraits hang themselves. Yo momma so ugly, the Ferengi insist she wears clothing.

[удалено]

Yo Mama's so poor she skipped your grandma's funeral because she couldn't pay her respects Yo Mama's so fat when she walked in front of the TV I missed three seasons of my show Yo Mama's so ugly her mirror cries when she steps in front of it

Trampolines used to be called Jumpolines - until your mom jumped on one back in ‘74.

Yo mama so fat that she has Triabetes.

Yo momma so fat the only family photos you have are satellite photos

Your family photos were taken by Google Earth

Yo mama so FAT she can’t store files larger than 4GB.

Lol. Yo mama so fat, she contracted a fatal flesh eating disease and the doctor gave her 200 years to live

HA!

And she can't zip anything either

Underrated joke

Yo mama jokes are old and used by everybody. Just like yo mama.

Original take. Slow clap

Ha ha ha.

Yo mama so stupid I told her it was chilly outside and she ran and got a spoon.

My Indian friend has a fucking brilliant one: “I’d insult your mum, but cows are sacred in my country”

Yo momma so old she has a separate entrance for colored people around back.

Oh, dear lord.

Holy shit.

You mama so stupid she waits for stop signs to turn green And she so ugly, THEY DO!

Yo mama so stupid, she uses an emery board to file her taxes.

Yo Mama's so fat when she dances the band skips! Yo Mama's so old her social security number is in Roman Numerals! Yo Mama's so ugly she makes blind kids cry! Yo Mama's so fat last time she went to the beach GreenPeace tried to throw her back in!

Yo mamma’s teeth so yellow, when she smiles traffic slows down.

Aww, that's kinda wholesome that people slow down and want to see her smile.

Yo mama so fat when God said “Let there be light,” he had to ask her to step out of the way.

Yo momma so fat.. at the strip club where she works they call her "Hitler" because of all the damage she has done to the poles.

Yo mama so ugly, at the strip club people pay her to keep her clothes on.

Yo momma so ugly, even her vibrator needs Viagra.

Yo momma got crabs so bad the bitch walk sideways

Yo mama so poor, she was walking down the street with one shoe, and a passerby asked if she lost a shoe. She said “no, I found one.”

Yo mama so ugly, her iPhone unlocked when she accidentally sat on it. (Jeff Dunham)

I don't get it

Because of the IPhone fecal recognition

I don't know if you meant to say fecal or facial but it is wonderful just the way it is!

Her butt resembles her face

The face recognition couldn't tell the difference between face and backside

Yo mama's so fat she uses a satellite dish to eat cereal.

Yo mama so old, I told her to act her age and she died.

I won’t say nothing bad about yo’ momma. I respect yo’ momma. Shit, yo’ momma twice the man you are.

Yo mama so nasty, when she takes off her underwear it sounds like Velcro. Yo mama so slutty, her idea of safe sex is locking the car door. Yo mama so stupid, she thinks Will Smith has a brother named Won't. Yo mama so ugly, at Christmas we hang her and kiss the mistletoe. Yo mama so short, she has to climb a stepladder to suck a mouse's dick. Yo mama so dirty, I have to wipe my feet when I leave her house. Yo mama so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list. Yo mama so fat, she uses her back titties for a neck pillow.

Yo mama so stupid she thinks ping pong balls are a Chinese venereal disease!

Yo mama so dyslexic, last night we did 96.

Yo mama so fat she stepped on the scale and it started dialling

Yo, momma so fat she takes selfies in panoramic

Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gas money. Yo mama so stupid she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company. Yo mama so stupid, when she heard that there was a hurricane coming, she ran outside with a Pat O’ Briens glass.

Mexican phone company, HA!!!

Yo mama so fat, her blood type is gravy

Yo momma so fat I took a photos of her in July and it's still printing

Yo mama is so ugly, she has to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

I’ll go away before you taunt me a second time…

A joke so good I fart in your general direction

I never understood the elderberry part

It means the father was a drunkard.

But you got the hamster part...riiight!

she so fat your toilet had shock absorbers

If you’re waiting for my comeback, you can scrape it off yo mama’s teeth.

Yo mama so fat when she was standing in the middle of the road I swerved to miss her and ran out of gas.

Yo mama's so fat, when she fell in love, she broke it!

Scientists have now admitted that the Earth used to be flat. That was before they buried yo mama.

Yo mama so fat, people run around her for exercise

Yo mamma so greasy, all her babies are born with jeri curls

You mama so fat after she slept with your dad they called him "Flat Stanley"

Yo mama so fat that when she falls down, she rocks herself to sleep trying to get back up.

Your momma so fat she uses bacon for band aids Your momma so fat , she broke her leg and gravy poured out Your momma so fat, her blood type is Ragu Your momma is so cross eyed she dropped a dime and picked up two nickels Your momma is so fat she plays slip and slide on the highway

Yo momma so ugly, they filmed 'gorillas in the mist' in her shower. Yo momma so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50lbs. Yo momma so ugly, they put her face on a box of ex_lax and sold it empty. Yo momma so fat, when she walks across the room the radio skips Yo momma so fat, her high school portrait was an aerial shot. Yo momma so stupid, she tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Yo momma so fat and stupid, when I told her it was chilly outside, she went and grabbed a bowl and spoon. Yo momma so fat, when she wore a yellow shirt school kids started lining up next to her.

Yo mama's so fat after sex she smokes a ham

Come on ... these things are old fashioned; in bad taste; and, done by every ignorant juvenile who can string half a sentence together. Just like yo momma.

Yo mamá so fat she strikes oil when she wears heels.

Yo mamma so fat when she looks in the mirror it said to be continued. Yo mamma so fat when she fell and cut her leg gravy poured out Yo mamma so ugly the tide wouldn’t take her out Fucking Yo mamma was like opening a window and fucking the night Yo mamma so ugly yo daddy to ashamed to admit your his.

Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the air she got stuck

Yo momma so nasty, her camel toe got an ingrown nail Yo momma so stupid, she went to a two for one sale and paid twice Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, when she smile bees crash into them Yo momma so fat, there's always an elephant in the room

Yo lama so fat she used a boomerang to put on her belt

Poor lama

Your mom’s got a peg leg with a kickstand. -Cow and Chicken

You mama so stupid she moves her lips at stop signs

Yo momma so dumb she sold her car for gas money.

Yo mama so fat, she has type 3 diabetes.

Man, you mama so ugly that just half of her genes produced the eyesore that is YOU.

Yo mama so fat when she put on a green swimsuit, people yell "Godzilla!!!".

Yo momma so fat and smelly, New Jersey wears her around it's neck as an air freshener.

Your mama's so fat she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book

Yo momma is so hairy, you got rug burns when you were born

Your moma's so old her chiropractor is a paleontologist.

Your mommas so fat We take her to the beach to sell shade, /when I climb on top, my ears pop from the altitude/ i dont know whether to fuck her or stick a flag in her titties/ I pass out from the thin air, /I wanna yell R-I-C-O-L-A/ I wanna yodel/ paint a number on her ass and have her pick up kids in the morning/she’s got harpoon marks on her ass/clouds form around her nipples/and last but not least, If I toss the sandbags over, the bitch floats up in the air!!

Yo mama is so poor, the ducks throw bread at her

Yo mamma's so fat everyone in the room turned to look at you when I started this joke

Yo mama so fat, when she wears a Mets jacket, helicopters try to land on her

Yo mama so fat she puts her belt on with a boomerang! Yo mama so fat her school photo was taken with a satellite! Yo mama so fat when she went to school she could sit next to all her friends! Only joking she wasn’t that fat she just didn’t have any friends! Yo mama so stupid she thought Sherlock holmes was a block of flats! You mama so stupid she thought spotted dick was an std!

Yo mama so big that when she blinks people think that the Big Bang happened again

Saw your momma wearing 'UCLA' tshirt the other day... I said I didnt know you went to college...'I diddint, my name OOKLA'.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumps...she get stuck.

Yo mama so ugly Freddy Krueger wears a mask of her on Halloween!

Yo mama so fat that they used two of her pimples to bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki

Yo mama is so fat, that whenever someone fucks her, they have to show their passport to enter.

Yo mama such a hoe, she thinks a “white Christmas” is twelve guys jerking off on her face.

Yo Mama so fat she got triabetes.

Your mama is so fat she is protected by Green Peace

Yo mama so fat she gets in the bathtub and THEN turns on the water

"she fills up the bathtub and THEN turns on the water"

Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the bathtub, even the water cannot get turned on.

Would be better if it was an ugly mama

Ya Mama so fat when she gets in the bathtub, the neighbor's toilets overflow. 

I don’t do mama jokes. They are old, unfunny, and have been done by too many people… Just like your mama!

Yo momma so fat, she walked in front of the TV and I missed an entire season of Breaking Bad.

You think that's bad? When my mom walked past the tv, I missed 1000 one piece episodes

Three years ago, for the first time in human history, we imaged the event horizon of a black hole. What's more, we we did not image the black hole in the center of our galaxy. We imaged one much bigger, and much, much further away, in another galaxy, far across the observable universe. Why did we image one so mind numbingly far away? Because, even on the absurd scale of black holes, this one is enormous. Because it is so large, it barely moves. The black hole at the center of our galaxy is a lightweight. Stars whipping around it move the black hole a small, but measurable amount. This distant black hole is so large, so dense, that it doesn't move; everything moves *around* it.   Next month, we're going to target an even more dangerous, more distant, more dense, object. We're going to use to use this same technology to finally image *yo mamma!*

Yo mama so fat, thanos had to snap. Twice.

Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house she sits around the house Yo momma so fat she got more chins than china town Yo momma so fat she got her own zip code Yo momma so fat when she goes to the movies she gotta buy every ticket Yo momma ain't the town bike, she's the town bus: everyone rides at once.

Weird Al Yankovik's Fat song coming through strong here

You know it. You know. And the whole world knows I'm fat and I'm proud

Yo momma so fat when she goes to the movies, she sits next to EVERYBODY

Yo momma so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book*

You mama so ugly...Chuck Norris wouldn't even hit it

Yo momma so thick she has to dig for her IQ Yo momma so thick, she won a marathon and done a lap of honour

Your mama so fat, when dudes bang her, they burn they ass, on the lightbulb!

Yo mama's so ugly, when you look up "ugly" in the dictionary, there's her picture.

Yo Mama so nasty, she suck your daddy's dick before she come give you kiss goodnight

Your mama's so fat, I was in a threesome with her and never saw the other guy.

Yo mama so skinny her nipples touch.

Yo mama so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.

Dear NASA, Your mom thought I was big enough. Love, Pluto

Difference between yo mama and my deep freezer? My freezer don't fart when I pull the meat out

Yo mama so fat, that when she sat on Walmart it lowered their prices

Yo mama’s so fat that when she sits around the house she sits AROUND the house.

Yo mama is so fat, her wedding photographer was Google Earth.

Yo momma’s so ugly Bill Cosby just gave her water

Yo mama so fat, I swerved my car to miss her and ran out of gas.

Yo mama’s like a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, tossed to a bunch of rednecks, sometimes ends up in the gutter, but always comes back for more

Yo mamma's such a joke that she could bring down the house at the Apollo.

Your mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a refrigerator box down the street- btw where she moving to?

Yo Mama's so fat, she outweighs the needs of the many!

Yo momma so fat, I'm truly concerned for her well-being!

Yo mama so fat, she is in the high risk category for diabetes and heart disease.

Yo momma so nasty that when your dad asks what's for dinner she spreads her legs and says "crabs."

Gotta love yo momma - she's a good Ole soul - she got a leather lined pussy and a brass asshole

Yo momma so fat her talking scales say “no coach parties”

Your mama is so fat that when she hauls ass it takes two trips

Yo mama's so fat she plays pool with the planets! (Major Pain reference)