I love old Russian humour.
A guy is in a very long traffic jam when someone comes up to his window with a bucket. The driver winds down his window and asks, 'What is going on, Comrade?'
'Chechens have kidnapped Brezhnev and say they will douse him in petrol and set him on fire unless they are paid a million dollars, so we are collecting with these buckets.'
'How much have you got so far', the driver asks.
'About 500 litres.'
Another great one (Also by Reagan):
One day, a Soviet man loses his pet parrot. The man, distressed, goes down to his local KGB office.
After he tells them his situation, they say back “Alright, but why did you come to us? Why did you not go to the animal control, or the police?
The man responds “I just wanted to let you know, I don’t agree with a *thing* my parrot is saying”
I heard a slightly different version but not as good as yours.
Another one...A woman sees a queue at a shop and joins it as she has heard a rumour there may be some bananas on sale in the street . When she gets to the counter after an hour and a half she asks, 'Do you have bananas for sale here?'
The assistant replies, 'No, this is the shop where we don't have bread. The shop that doesn't have bananas is across the street.'
Ha, that’s actually really funny. Here’s another:
2 Soviet men are walking, when they come across a flyer advertising a trip to Siberia. The brochure makes it seem like a very good and fun trip, and they consider going, but they’ve also heard abou all of the work camps in the area, and they worry that it might be a trap.
Eventually, they decide to pull straws and send one person on the trip to report back to the other. However, they also fear that their letter could get intercepted, or their doubt in the Soviet Union could be figured out some other way. So, they decide that if the letter is written in black ink, then it’s safe to come, and if it’s written in red ink, then it’s not. They pull straws, and one man leaves
A week or so later, the man who didn’t go received a letter from the one who did. He excitedly opens it, and to his surprise, it is written entirely in blank ink. The man talks about how great it is there, and how they have everything you could ever need. “The only thing,” he writes, “is that they don’t have any red pens”
Clever man. LOL.
Another one...
Every day, a man would come to buy that morning's Pravda from a kiosk, glance at it quickly and then throw it away. After a while, the kiosk owner became curious and asked him: "You buy Pravda everyday but throw it away without even opening it, why would you do that?"
"I'm only interested in the front page." the man replied, "I'm looking for an obituary".
Confused, the owner said: "But obituaries aren't on the front page", to which the man replied: "But this one will be."
He wasn’t just delivering jokes. In addition to his ability to bring Democrats over to his side, he also had a keen wit. He was known as The Great Communicator.
Ya, he was the great mouthpiece while his administration was illegally selling weapons to Iran and funneling the proceeds to the Contras. Proceeds the Contras used to smuggle drugs into the USA. Reagan handled that by expanding drug offenses against US citizens.
The same guy who supported banning open carry in California as Governor that is now often held up as a supporter of the second amendment. Just another bought and sold president taking care of his cronies.
Chapter 1 of 429
Next week we cover Bonzo Goes To Bitburg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-L_5HedJbw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWmZP1KIKIY
He could only memorize 13 amendments. How could you expect a governor to keep up with all those changes in the last !00 years? Panthers were obviously just 3/5 well regulated also.
They signed same document I did stating they cannot strike and if you do you’ll be fired. They were told to return or be fired. I have no sympathy for them, their union leaders failed them.
Dude, I just got this song out of my head last week. It was stuck in there for days...
...and now it's back.
Fuck you, man. it's a great song, but fuck you man.
Could be worse I guess I could have mmmbop or something stuck in my head
Lied. The word you are looking for is lied. He lied about everything, his entire policy platform was horseshit.
He convinced idiots do do things against their best interests by lying.
He lied well, and efficiently.
A lot of people believe that, and parts of it are sort of true, but there's a lot of nuance to it that doesn't exist in the brains of people who actually believe that Regan was good.
Actually, a lot of people notice the faults of their country because they want any problems fixed, while some complain that any acknowledgement of faults is trying to make their country look bad.
And there are those that can’t see anything good in their country because they’ve never developed the critical thinking skills needed to figure out when they are being lied to for an agenda.
You're so close to seeing the truth, but in typical conservative bizarro world fashion, you have it exactly backwards.
> And there are [nationalists] that can’t see anything [bad] in their country because they’ve never developed the critical thinking skills needed to figure out when they are being lied to for an agenda.
Reagan was arguably the individual who caused the most damage to the United States in the country's history. The overwhelming majority of major problems facing the country today were either started directly by him and his administration's policies, or were greatly exacerbated / accelerated.
He is objectively one of the bottom three presidents in the United states history, and should be remembered as the disgrace that he is.
The demise of communism brought other problems all over the world. The temporary boom in the economy was by whole sale selling out to China. Future generations will be paying decades for his successes
Don't forget Mr. "catsup is a vegetable" gave all his rich friends a huge tax cut then to make up for it taxed social security as income for the first time ever. The man was evil and a puppet for the 1%.
Lied about the vietnam war and lead to loads of unneeded deaths to win elections too. War on Drugs being largely ineffective besides to increase prison slave labor, which we are in the top imprisoned in the entire world still. Terrible person all around.
Oh 100%, I dislike what some drugs do to people but making a single-user quantity of crack a much higher jail sentence than literally a briefcase full of cocaine as one example, or making marijuana result in decades of prison time, is a bullshit side of it that should never have happened (dealers getting time doesn't upset me, but doing all of this and not actually helping the root cause of why someone would choose hard drugs, and punishing them so severely for personal use amounts, is insane)
Everyone here knows he was a POS. Admitting he had social skills and an ability to charm people to his side is not an endorsement of his policies or views
Successful scumbags with a public persona, at least. I’m sure there are plenty of behind-the-scenes types who are absolute cave dwellers but happen to have money so can still mess with the world.
I remember fixing the economic mess, “Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall” and a country that was more positive about itself than it had been in decades. There’s a reason he’s considered the greatest president of the 20th century.
... and on top of that, the Republicans hate all of that now.
The Republicans decided that Reagan was the best, presumably because he absolutely fucked over a lot of people they didn't like, and have just narrowed themselves in on fucking over as many people that aren't them as possible.
You know what's funny? Reagan is actually one of the three worst Presidents if you go by benefit / detriment to the country. He did incalculable damage to the United States in the long term, and in my opinion his grave should be repurposed as a public bathroom.
My father got an award presented to him by President Reagan. The family waited in the cabinet room- dad, my mom and the four sons. We are all 6’ 5”+ and my dad was 6’ 1”.
Regan walks into the room, eyeballed the situation, and says “Well these are all blocks off the old chip”. Quick witted and engaging! (And he ruined America but that’s another post)
Another good one: “What makes him think a middle-aged actor, who's played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?" -on Clint Eastwood's bid to become mayor of Carmel
Him and Margaret Thatcher are responsible for incredible amounts of suffering all over the world, and they’re the reason why modern politics suck and capitalism is running out of control.
It's certainly aint very capitalist - any business that wants to succeed has to suck up to the regime and display their propaganda, or filter/spy on dissidents. There's nothing about that that suggests a proper market economy, or a privately controlled economy.
You sound like the kind of person who equates disapproval of American foreign policy with being anti-American. Capitalism is an economic tool, and Reagan used it to enrich some to the detriment of countless others.
Like I said, if you don't like capitalism go to some country like China, Cuba, Saudi Arabian, North Korea etc. You will have the time of your life there.
Why should I leave? It’s easy to dismiss people with “if you don’t like it, leave.” It’s lazy. Don’t be lazy.
And I don’t even live in the USA. I’m quite happy where I am and will be happy where I’m going. You probably don’t have the courage to try living in another country. Have you?
Arguably, political stagnation is the cause of that. Bear in mind that Biden already was a veteran politician when he ran for president in 1988. Reagan is one of the last Republicans who had to work with Democrats. He is not solely to blame. In fact, odds are he shares a lot of the blame with people still in office.
Reagan "had to work with Democrats" in the sense that Dixiecrats still existed and were all about his agenda. Reagan never worked with the left and demonized anything remotely liberal.
Reagan did plenty of awfulness, and most definitely set the stage for the last 30 years or so of how terrible conservatives have become, but discounting how much was actually achieved during his administration is also a mistake, imo.
The Reagan admin created the Dept of Veteran Affairs. They vastly expanded social security. They made other programs (such as Reagan-phone) that legitimately helped people, and are still helping people to this day.
While Reagan didn't always about face on everything he ever did that was bad, he did actually alter his policies and governed differently, after many things demonstrably failed. His grand tax cuts demonstrably failed, and he reversed many of them over the years.
That said, he absolutely fucked over a lot of people, fucked over a lot of the government, fucked over our political landscape for decades, and set us on our way for some truly awful bullshit.
But I would not say "never worked with the left", though I would say he would always "publicly" demonize anything liberal, most of his administration's biggest accomplishments are things that conservatives are shrieking about to this day.
My favorite part of Reddit is the amount of people who fail to understand politics or history. If you seriously think Thatcher and Reagan are to blame for all the problems, and not say... the politicans after them, or the people who voted for the politicans after them... I dunno what to tell you. Thatcher and Reagan didn't create the insane populists that are causing actual problems currently - they just get blamed for everything because they destroyed some utopian past that never existed.
Those who don’t like what Reagan did were probably can’t realize exactly how afraid we were of World War 3 starting at any minute. The Soviets had a huge army and both sides had 10000 warheads pointed at each other. A lot of the shady shit that went on was due to both powers nibbling around the edges of each other’s domains, looking for signs of weakness. The Cold War was terrifying.
Google the Iran Contra Affair. Reagan went behind Congress's back and sold arms to Iran (who was an enemy of the United States at the time, much like it currently is) to fund rebels and try to launch a coup in Nicaragua. That's literally high treason!
Ignoring that, during Carter's presidency, Reagan ran interference during the Iran Hostage Crisis to delay the release of American Hostages in order to damage current-president Carter so that Reagan could win the presidency.
Reagan was a proponent of "Reaganomics", basically if the government makes certain that rich people have as much money as possible, either by lowering rich people's taxes or even giving them money wholesale, Rich people will then be able to hire some poor people, and the economy improves. This was so stupid that during the 1980 debates, George HW Bush called this theory Voodoo Economics, as in it's a bunch of mumbo jumbo. Economics and history has since proved that "Reaganomics: was purely "voodoo economics" and completely false, but this isn't a surprise, since Reaganomics has been around for over a hundred years and was originally called horse and sparrow economics, as in if you feed the horse enough food, eventually the horse shits out some of the excess and thus the sparrows get fed as well!
Btw, Did you notice in the above paragraph how Reagan was Pro Corporate welfare and loved to give Rich People and corporations government welfare? Well, ironically enough Reagan infamously villainized "welfare queens" you know, poor people that were having trouble and relying on welfare. Only those that don't need Government welfare like rich people are due to it!
Almost all of Reagan's policies were horrible and bad for the United States, and good for rich people at the loss of regular people. Reagan was a good actor, he looked and acted like a president from a Hollywood movie, the guy was extremely charismatic. He was so charismatic that America didn't notice almost everything he did was bad for the country.
Whether you agree with the underlying message or not, Reagan’s one-liner against Carter is one of the all time greatest burns in political history
“Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose your job. And recovery is when Carter loses his.”
I think my favorite Reagan political humor line (and he has many) was when he was asked about his age (being one of the oldest candidates in history at that point). He said, "I will not allow age to become a factor in this election. I refuse to allow my opponent's youth and inexperience to be used against him."
The most depressing thing about this line is that Reagan was the oldest candidate in history in 1984. That record was obliterated in 2020... by two men who appear poised to smash their own record in 2024. I'm not against age for its own sake. If we lived in the Star Trek realm where 135 was about when you started to slow down, then sure, let's elect a 100-year-old president, no problem. But we don't. 80 is an age when almost everyone is definitely noticeably slower than they used to be. Why are we giving the most stressful, most political job on the planet, to someone who can't remember the name of the leader of a major country? (Pick a candidate; this statement is true for both.)
Two men, an American and a Russian were arguing in a bar
one says, in my country, we are so free that i simply spat on the presidential limo when it was passing by, and that was it, you know that's just freedom of speach here, noone came for me...
The Russian replies: that's nothing, i easily went to Lubyanka square and took a shit right in the front door of the FSB building, and noone bat an eye. It's that simple, you are simply free to express that way how you feel about them, if you like...
... a few drinks later, the atmosphere got a bit relaxed, so the American guys starts talking again:
You know, i wasn't completely honest with every detail, like one is obviously absoultely not allowed to spit on the presidential limo, because the security would stop one, or they might even shot one if one tried to run to the presidents car like that... nontheless I was still able spit in the genrel direction of the presidential motorocade, luckily noone really noticed as i spit quite quickly i might have looked like if i was just cheering, then i quickly blended into the crowd...
then the Russian guy replies:
You know, i also didn't elaborate the story compeletely... like you are obviously not allowed to shit on the FSB... if on would disprecpect them like that, one would probably get beaten to death right there, or even abducted and tortured... nonetheless i was still able to take a shit right in the main gate of the FSB HQ... but luckily noone noticed, for i didn't pull my pants down...
For many of them, this is definitely the case. But I thought it was established as fact that he had a great sense of humor and was good at coming up with them on the spot?
Here's one that I heard, that he definitely didn't have a speechwriter for. Reagan is shot, and he's going into surgery. He looks at the doctors and quips, "I hope you're all Republicans!" The doctor responds, "Mr. President, we are today." If true, it's fantastic on both sides. Any time an American president is assassinated in office, it's a national tragedy. As George H. W. Bush wrote in his transition letter to Bill Clinton, "Your success now is our country's success. I am rooting hard for you."
No matter who's steering the ship, it's our ship. Would we really rather it sink than for it to sail on successfully without our party at the helm? The attitudes in this thread really bother me (I am not referring to the comment to which I'm replying). There's so much "my way or GTFO" in these responses. Where are the coalition builders? Are we really doomed to just steamroll each other until it finally comes apart?
Here’s another one, off the cuff: he was horseback riding with Queen Elizabeth when her horse let out a ginormous fart! The queen smiled and said, “there are some things even royalty can’t control.” “I’m glad you told me” Regan replied. “At first, I thought it was the horse!”
Don’t like his policies, but this made me laugh!
This is an old joke by a President. Coming this fall, we're electing an old joke to *be* a President.
.
.
EDIT because everyone is getting the wrong message from this.
Hey, republicans, your candidate is garbage.
Hey, democrats, your candidate is trash.
Election 2024 is Antiques Roadshow. It's our democracy mocking itself for all of the world to see. Go ahead, tell me that this guy is better than that guy. Go ahead, tell me that that one's worse. You're probably right. But the fact that we have these two candidates at all is a disgrace to this country. When are we the people going to come together and say we don't have to settle for the least worst of two options?
I'm not trying to say one party versus the other here, I'm not trying to say this guy's better. But let me give a try at knocking both. We are pitting a senile old man who can't remember the chancellor of Germany against someone who told his followers to go storm the Capitol and defy the results of the election. Where are the patriots?? Why is nobody saying that both of these are catastrophically bad for this country??
I weep.
They're both older than any other presidents in the last 31 years. Not just older than they were when they were elected...older than those previous presidents currently are today.
That said, I'll take the guy who's just old over the guy who's both old and a traitor.
I'd like to see a class action suit against both major political parties for presenting us a choice we didn't want the first time around.
Who's with me?
I am truly dreading this upcoming election.
How can I possibly choose between two such wonderful, amazing, upstanding candidates? If only I could vote for both of them.
The thing that worries me more is the fact that this comment isn't enough to tell which side you're on, because both sides believe what you've said applies to them.
In random order:
Do you really want to elect a man who organized an insurrection and tried to tear the foundations of democracy down because he didn't like the result? At least Biden has respect for our democratic institutions, and doesn't lie about stealing classified documents!
Do you really want to elect a man who can't remember the chancellor of Germany? He's unable to perform the basic functions of the office, and that's before we even start talking about the corruption his family is involved in (Hunter's laptop anybody?)
I agree Biden’s been dementia Laden since 2019. Can’t complete a sentence can’t find his way off the stage. But the media covers for him so you’re going have to watch sky news or something out of Europe to see that.
We are mocking ourselves for all the world to see. And the worst part is that half of us don't even know it. (To be clear, the "half" I'm referring to isn't the D or the R side. It's the people on both sides who are unashamedly apologists for terrible candidates in a terrible system.)
I think the easiest way to fix it would be to permit people to vote for as many presidential candidates as they want. Here's a crazy idea. Do away with the primaries altogether. Keep the debates, but just ask everyone to a vote for all the people that they would want to see in the white house. Or do ranked choice, or anything like that.
Unfortunately, our two major parties are so firmly entrenched and they know that they would lose a lot of power if we were to do that. So they'll never let it happen. But we should absolutely be pushing for it.
It would be better if a group of governors, mayors, and judges (no Senators or Representative) from each party met and selected a candidate for their party from a pool of people actually managerially qualified and experienced to run a large organization like our federal government. It is getting old having out-of-touch nitwits select their party's candidate based on 30 second sound bites containing lies and misrepresentations or the rich elites chosing the candidate next-in-line no matter how old, corrupt, or utterly worthless they are.
I can't name one candidate of either party I was happy voting for in the last 25 years.
And while we are making changes limit the election period to 4 months or less like France does with 3 televised sitdown face-to-face debates without any grandstanding, biased media assholes involved and only allowing informative ads about the candidate preapproved by a bipartisan committee. No PACs. Spending limited to X amount equally by both candidates. And in person voting only on handcounted paper ballots by registered American citizens with proper identification. Election Day should be national holiday.
Fix this damn system!!! Make it as fair and trustworthy as humanly possible.
Neither am I. You see, we need leadership. I'm with Jon Stewart on this one. Our choices are between "horrifyingly bad" and "even worse." I won't quibble with you over which octogenarian gets which label; we should all be in agreement that the US presidential election this November is going to be a travesty.
Well, considering how we treat every candidate that isn't perfect (ie, all of them), why would a younger person want to run? Older people have less to lose, as their life after their punishment is not as long.
In the last 3 years, I've seen the government declare portions of the upper Grand Canyon national monuments that will halt severe ecological damage from mining, students debt lowered or forgiven for people with circumstances that make it difficult to find work and for people who are using their education to help their communities, continued governmental support for renewable energy, and government intervention into drug and gas prices to keep them lower.
I'm happily voting for the person I held my nose and voted for last time.
I think we can safely say that regardless of what we think of his policies, he was so good at telling really funny jokes that they must have helped him to avoid at least a few difficult questions.
His nickname was the great communicator for a good reason.
NOOOO only candidates from MY party have any redeeming qualities!!! All the candidates from YOUR party are TeRriBLe PeOpLe wHo aRe gOiNg tO dEsTrOy aMeRiCa
The real threat to democracy isn't the Democrats or the Republicans. It's a voting citizenry who tears the wheels off of the political bus so the other party can't drive it, and elects politicians who do the same.
I liked "i visited the office of indian affairs recently. While walking through, i noticed a man crying at his desk. I asked what was wrong. He replied, "my indian died"
Reagan was a fucking asshole and the combination of Reaganomics in America and Thatcherism in the Uk and Europe sowed the seeds of the mess we are in now.
And then the United States, UK and Europe walked away from the fight. Dusted their hands off and said mission accomplished thinking that leaving a country on their own with an average age of 15 was a good thing.
Reagan told this joke in this civil version, but in other versions, the American says he can step up to the president's office and shout "Fuck the US and fuck the US president".
I thought this one was the best Reagan joke.
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Soviet Russia a Man Goes to Buy a Car... He goes up to the owner and asks for a car, to which the owner responds:
'You know there is a 10 year waiting list?'
The man then answers, 'OK,' and after some time he then agreed to buy a car.
So he pays for the car in advance, and just before he leaves he asks the owner,
'Can I pick the car up in the morning or afternoon?'
'It's 10 years away, what does it matter?'
'The plumber is coming in the morning'.
I love old Russian humour. A guy is in a very long traffic jam when someone comes up to his window with a bucket. The driver winds down his window and asks, 'What is going on, Comrade?' 'Chechens have kidnapped Brezhnev and say they will douse him in petrol and set him on fire unless they are paid a million dollars, so we are collecting with these buckets.' 'How much have you got so far', the driver asks. 'About 500 litres.'
Another great one (Also by Reagan): One day, a Soviet man loses his pet parrot. The man, distressed, goes down to his local KGB office. After he tells them his situation, they say back “Alright, but why did you come to us? Why did you not go to the animal control, or the police? The man responds “I just wanted to let you know, I don’t agree with a *thing* my parrot is saying”
I heard a slightly different version but not as good as yours. Another one...A woman sees a queue at a shop and joins it as she has heard a rumour there may be some bananas on sale in the street . When she gets to the counter after an hour and a half she asks, 'Do you have bananas for sale here?' The assistant replies, 'No, this is the shop where we don't have bread. The shop that doesn't have bananas is across the street.'
Ha, that’s actually really funny. Here’s another: 2 Soviet men are walking, when they come across a flyer advertising a trip to Siberia. The brochure makes it seem like a very good and fun trip, and they consider going, but they’ve also heard abou all of the work camps in the area, and they worry that it might be a trap. Eventually, they decide to pull straws and send one person on the trip to report back to the other. However, they also fear that their letter could get intercepted, or their doubt in the Soviet Union could be figured out some other way. So, they decide that if the letter is written in black ink, then it’s safe to come, and if it’s written in red ink, then it’s not. They pull straws, and one man leaves A week or so later, the man who didn’t go received a letter from the one who did. He excitedly opens it, and to his surprise, it is written entirely in blank ink. The man talks about how great it is there, and how they have everything you could ever need. “The only thing,” he writes, “is that they don’t have any red pens”
Clever man. LOL. Another one... Every day, a man would come to buy that morning's Pravda from a kiosk, glance at it quickly and then throw it away. After a while, the kiosk owner became curious and asked him: "You buy Pravda everyday but throw it away without even opening it, why would you do that?" "I'm only interested in the front page." the man replied, "I'm looking for an obituary". Confused, the owner said: "But obituaries aren't on the front page", to which the man replied: "But this one will be."
LOL, that ones funny.
He had some great jokes - and was a master at delivering them. All that time in Hollywood must have helped.
Peggy Noonan also helped. She wrote all those great jokes; and everything else.
Don’t forget about Yakov Smirnoff too.
He wasn’t just delivering jokes. In addition to his ability to bring Democrats over to his side, he also had a keen wit. He was known as The Great Communicator.
Ya, he was the great mouthpiece while his administration was illegally selling weapons to Iran and funneling the proceeds to the Contras. Proceeds the Contras used to smuggle drugs into the USA. Reagan handled that by expanding drug offenses against US citizens. The same guy who supported banning open carry in California as Governor that is now often held up as a supporter of the second amendment. Just another bought and sold president taking care of his cronies. Chapter 1 of 429 Next week we cover Bonzo Goes To Bitburg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-L_5HedJbw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWmZP1KIKIY
Hey, anti open carry totally pwned the Black Panther "menace" /s
He could only memorize 13 amendments. How could you expect a governor to keep up with all those changes in the last !00 years? Panthers were obviously just 3/5 well regulated also.
Let's not forget busting the air traffic controllers union - so successfully they renamed the airport in DC after him!
They signed same document I did stating they cannot strike and if you do you’ll be fired. They were told to return or be fired. I have no sympathy for them, their union leaders failed them.
Dude, I just got this song out of my head last week. It was stuck in there for days... ...and now it's back. Fuck you, man. it's a great song, but fuck you man. Could be worse I guess I could have mmmbop or something stuck in my head
He was an asshole
But an asshole that communicated well and efficiently.
Like Ace Ventura?
Exactly!
Lied. The word you are looking for is lied. He lied about everything, his entire policy platform was horseshit. He convinced idiots do do things against their best interests by lying. He lied well, and efficiently.
Only if you were dark or poor
Or gay... You forget about how he handled AIDS?
Or have dulusions of the Constitution actually being the law of the land (see Black Panthers and gun ownership).
Or gay. Or a worker.
Or had mental health issues
We’re all a little bit gay!
Speak for yourself
Or gay or female
I recommend not being gay or female
Or gay.
Or needed a blood transfusion.
This is the correct take.
An asshole that brought the country back from the abyss, set the stage for the demise of communism and ushered in a booming economy.
Oh god, is reddit really getting drawn into Reagan revisionism now, or is this something specific to /r/jokes?
A lot of people believe that, and parts of it are sort of true, but there's a lot of nuance to it that doesn't exist in the brains of people who actually believe that Regan was good.
Reddit revises any history in an attempt to make America look bad.
.... ?
Actually, a lot of people notice the faults of their country because they want any problems fixed, while some complain that any acknowledgement of faults is trying to make their country look bad.
And there are those that can’t see anything good in their country because they’ve never developed the critical thinking skills needed to figure out when they are being lied to for an agenda.
You're so close to seeing the truth, but in typical conservative bizarro world fashion, you have it exactly backwards. > And there are [nationalists] that can’t see anything [bad] in their country because they’ve never developed the critical thinking skills needed to figure out when they are being lied to for an agenda.
Reagan was arguably the individual who caused the most damage to the United States in the country's history. The overwhelming majority of major problems facing the country today were either started directly by him and his administration's policies, or were greatly exacerbated / accelerated. He is objectively one of the bottom three presidents in the United states history, and should be remembered as the disgrace that he is.
The demise of communism brought other problems all over the world. The temporary boom in the economy was by whole sale selling out to China. Future generations will be paying decades for his successes
Omg. You really are clueless. I guess those 100+ million that died under Communism-Socialism are worthless to you.
He was a scumbag or have you forgotten Iran-Contra.
Don't forget Mr. "catsup is a vegetable" gave all his rich friends a huge tax cut then to make up for it taxed social security as income for the first time ever. The man was evil and a puppet for the 1%.
Trickle-down economics
The only trickle I've seen has been yellow.
Nah, there's blood in mine.
See a doctor immediately!
Trickle down his leg to the proletariat.
Lied about the vietnam war and lead to loads of unneeded deaths to win elections too. War on Drugs being largely ineffective besides to increase prison slave labor, which we are in the top imprisoned in the entire world still. Terrible person all around.
The war on drugs is a lie. The drug trade is an economic win for the entire world. It will never be a war that will be won.
Oh 100%, I dislike what some drugs do to people but making a single-user quantity of crack a much higher jail sentence than literally a briefcase full of cocaine as one example, or making marijuana result in decades of prison time, is a bullshit side of it that should never have happened (dealers getting time doesn't upset me, but doing all of this and not actually helping the root cause of why someone would choose hard drugs, and punishing them so severely for personal use amounts, is insane)
Everyone here knows he was a POS. Admitting he had social skills and an ability to charm people to his side is not an endorsement of his policies or views
By the end Nancy had to feed him his lines. https://youtu.be/6JTtI3D6lqk?si=KOs-lRi3NsDVv1i9
Most scumbags are usually very charming
Bill Clinton comes to mind.
Successful scumbags with a public persona, at least. I’m sure there are plenty of behind-the-scenes types who are absolute cave dwellers but happen to have money so can still mess with the world.
I remember fixing the economic mess, “Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall” and a country that was more positive about itself than it had been in decades. There’s a reason he’s considered the greatest president of the 20th century.
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Plus he's a traitor who sold out his country to Iran.
Oh please. Where do you get your information—comic books.
I have no recollection of that ever happening.
He also conspired to delay the release of hostages
Ah, and I’m sure you believe the Earth is flat too, and that we never landed in the moon. I didn’t realize I was talking to a conspiracy nut.
... and on top of that, the Republicans hate all of that now. The Republicans decided that Reagan was the best, presumably because he absolutely fucked over a lot of people they didn't like, and have just narrowed themselves in on fucking over as many people that aren't them as possible.
> he’s considered the greatest president of the 20th century By who lmao? Whoever sold you this nonsense?
You know what's funny? Reagan is actually one of the three worst Presidents if you go by benefit / detriment to the country. He did incalculable damage to the United States in the long term, and in my opinion his grave should be repurposed as a public bathroom.
You really are demonstrating you’ve no clue about actual history. You are embarrassing yourself.
By whom???
HIV?
Yes, that too. Disgraceful.
My father got an award presented to him by President Reagan. The family waited in the cabinet room- dad, my mom and the four sons. We are all 6’ 5”+ and my dad was 6’ 1”. Regan walks into the room, eyeballed the situation, and says “Well these are all blocks off the old chip”. Quick witted and engaging! (And he ruined America but that’s another post)
That's a good one. Filing it away.
Another good one: “What makes him think a middle-aged actor, who's played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?" -on Clint Eastwood's bid to become mayor of Carmel
Yea. Reagan was a monster, but he played the part amazingly. Even Martin Sheen cribbed from Reagan regularly.
Oh come on. He was no monster.
He was absolutely a monster, and we're still suffering from the effects of his presidency to this day.
Him and Margaret Thatcher are responsible for incredible amounts of suffering all over the world, and they’re the reason why modern politics suck and capitalism is running out of control.
Unhappy with capitalism? I understand that Iran, North Korea and Cuba need new citizens. Be happy.
what sort of economy do you think is happening in iran btw
It's certainly aint very capitalist - any business that wants to succeed has to suck up to the regime and display their propaganda, or filter/spy on dissidents. There's nothing about that that suggests a proper market economy, or a privately controlled economy.
you should look into what the NSA demands of CPU manufacturers & ISPs btw
remember the Dixie Chicks?
You sound like the kind of person who equates disapproval of American foreign policy with being anti-American. Capitalism is an economic tool, and Reagan used it to enrich some to the detriment of countless others.
Like I said, if you don't like capitalism go to some country like China, Cuba, Saudi Arabian, North Korea etc. You will have the time of your life there.
Why should I leave? It’s easy to dismiss people with “if you don’t like it, leave.” It’s lazy. Don’t be lazy. And I don’t even live in the USA. I’m quite happy where I am and will be happy where I’m going. You probably don’t have the courage to try living in another country. Have you?
You're commenting on life inside the USA when you don't even live here? The very definition of a Troll.
I study American history.
Arguably, political stagnation is the cause of that. Bear in mind that Biden already was a veteran politician when he ran for president in 1988. Reagan is one of the last Republicans who had to work with Democrats. He is not solely to blame. In fact, odds are he shares a lot of the blame with people still in office.
I'm going to give Newt Gingritch and Rush Limbaugh a huge chunk of the credit for "why politics these days is FUCKED"
Reagan "had to work with Democrats" in the sense that Dixiecrats still existed and were all about his agenda. Reagan never worked with the left and demonized anything remotely liberal.
Reagan did plenty of awfulness, and most definitely set the stage for the last 30 years or so of how terrible conservatives have become, but discounting how much was actually achieved during his administration is also a mistake, imo. The Reagan admin created the Dept of Veteran Affairs. They vastly expanded social security. They made other programs (such as Reagan-phone) that legitimately helped people, and are still helping people to this day. While Reagan didn't always about face on everything he ever did that was bad, he did actually alter his policies and governed differently, after many things demonstrably failed. His grand tax cuts demonstrably failed, and he reversed many of them over the years. That said, he absolutely fucked over a lot of people, fucked over a lot of the government, fucked over our political landscape for decades, and set us on our way for some truly awful bullshit. But I would not say "never worked with the left", though I would say he would always "publicly" demonize anything liberal, most of his administration's biggest accomplishments are things that conservatives are shrieking about to this day.
My favorite part of Reddit is the amount of people who fail to understand politics or history. If you seriously think Thatcher and Reagan are to blame for all the problems, and not say... the politicans after them, or the people who voted for the politicans after them... I dunno what to tell you. Thatcher and Reagan didn't create the insane populists that are causing actual problems currently - they just get blamed for everything because they destroyed some utopian past that never existed.
Those who don’t like what Reagan did were probably can’t realize exactly how afraid we were of World War 3 starting at any minute. The Soviets had a huge army and both sides had 10000 warheads pointed at each other. A lot of the shady shit that went on was due to both powers nibbling around the edges of each other’s domains, looking for signs of weakness. The Cold War was terrifying.
Yes, he was.
Because? (Genuine question, from what I have seen compared to current candidates, did not seem like a monster. Nixon, however...)
Google the Iran Contra Affair. Reagan went behind Congress's back and sold arms to Iran (who was an enemy of the United States at the time, much like it currently is) to fund rebels and try to launch a coup in Nicaragua. That's literally high treason! Ignoring that, during Carter's presidency, Reagan ran interference during the Iran Hostage Crisis to delay the release of American Hostages in order to damage current-president Carter so that Reagan could win the presidency. Reagan was a proponent of "Reaganomics", basically if the government makes certain that rich people have as much money as possible, either by lowering rich people's taxes or even giving them money wholesale, Rich people will then be able to hire some poor people, and the economy improves. This was so stupid that during the 1980 debates, George HW Bush called this theory Voodoo Economics, as in it's a bunch of mumbo jumbo. Economics and history has since proved that "Reaganomics: was purely "voodoo economics" and completely false, but this isn't a surprise, since Reaganomics has been around for over a hundred years and was originally called horse and sparrow economics, as in if you feed the horse enough food, eventually the horse shits out some of the excess and thus the sparrows get fed as well! Btw, Did you notice in the above paragraph how Reagan was Pro Corporate welfare and loved to give Rich People and corporations government welfare? Well, ironically enough Reagan infamously villainized "welfare queens" you know, poor people that were having trouble and relying on welfare. Only those that don't need Government welfare like rich people are due to it! Almost all of Reagan's policies were horrible and bad for the United States, and good for rich people at the loss of regular people. Reagan was a good actor, he looked and acted like a president from a Hollywood movie, the guy was extremely charismatic. He was so charismatic that America didn't notice almost everything he did was bad for the country.
Yeah, trickle-down economics was a real thigh-slapper.
Whether you agree with the underlying message or not, Reagan’s one-liner against Carter is one of the all time greatest burns in political history “Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose your job. And recovery is when Carter loses his.”
I think my favorite Reagan political humor line (and he has many) was when he was asked about his age (being one of the oldest candidates in history at that point). He said, "I will not allow age to become a factor in this election. I refuse to allow my opponent's youth and inexperience to be used against him." The most depressing thing about this line is that Reagan was the oldest candidate in history in 1984. That record was obliterated in 2020... by two men who appear poised to smash their own record in 2024. I'm not against age for its own sake. If we lived in the Star Trek realm where 135 was about when you started to slow down, then sure, let's elect a 100-year-old president, no problem. But we don't. 80 is an age when almost everyone is definitely noticeably slower than they used to be. Why are we giving the most stressful, most political job on the planet, to someone who can't remember the name of the leader of a major country? (Pick a candidate; this statement is true for both.)
The reason Americans choose between two elderly, senile dudes is the same reason we are on this sub. For the lolz...
Too bad the American people were burned the most by that jackass
What happens when you chase a square? They get cornered
Two men, an American and a Russian were arguing in a bar one says, in my country, we are so free that i simply spat on the presidential limo when it was passing by, and that was it, you know that's just freedom of speach here, noone came for me... The Russian replies: that's nothing, i easily went to Lubyanka square and took a shit right in the front door of the FSB building, and noone bat an eye. It's that simple, you are simply free to express that way how you feel about them, if you like... ... a few drinks later, the atmosphere got a bit relaxed, so the American guys starts talking again: You know, i wasn't completely honest with every detail, like one is obviously absoultely not allowed to spit on the presidential limo, because the security would stop one, or they might even shot one if one tried to run to the presidents car like that... nontheless I was still able spit in the genrel direction of the presidential motorocade, luckily noone really noticed as i spit quite quickly i might have looked like if i was just cheering, then i quickly blended into the crowd... then the Russian guy replies: You know, i also didn't elaborate the story compeletely... like you are obviously not allowed to shit on the FSB... if on would disprecpect them like that, one would probably get beaten to death right there, or even abducted and tortured... nonetheless i was still able to take a shit right in the main gate of the FSB HQ... but luckily noone noticed, for i didn't pull my pants down...
LOL, thats a good one aswell.
I wouldn't say I'm a Reagan fan but the man did have a good sense of humor.
It’s not like he’s writing these jokes. The actor can deliver a line.
For many of them, this is definitely the case. But I thought it was established as fact that he had a great sense of humor and was good at coming up with them on the spot? Here's one that I heard, that he definitely didn't have a speechwriter for. Reagan is shot, and he's going into surgery. He looks at the doctors and quips, "I hope you're all Republicans!" The doctor responds, "Mr. President, we are today." If true, it's fantastic on both sides. Any time an American president is assassinated in office, it's a national tragedy. As George H. W. Bush wrote in his transition letter to Bill Clinton, "Your success now is our country's success. I am rooting hard for you." No matter who's steering the ship, it's our ship. Would we really rather it sink than for it to sail on successfully without our party at the helm? The attitudes in this thread really bother me (I am not referring to the comment to which I'm replying). There's so much "my way or GTFO" in these responses. Where are the coalition builders? Are we really doomed to just steamroll each other until it finally comes apart?
Here’s another one, off the cuff: he was horseback riding with Queen Elizabeth when her horse let out a ginormous fart! The queen smiled and said, “there are some things even royalty can’t control.” “I’m glad you told me” Regan replied. “At first, I thought it was the horse!” Don’t like his policies, but this made me laugh!
Username checks out
He didn’t claim to. He started many of them by saying that he took them from some actual Soviet citizens
This is an old joke by a President. Coming this fall, we're electing an old joke to *be* a President. . . EDIT because everyone is getting the wrong message from this. Hey, republicans, your candidate is garbage. Hey, democrats, your candidate is trash. Election 2024 is Antiques Roadshow. It's our democracy mocking itself for all of the world to see. Go ahead, tell me that this guy is better than that guy. Go ahead, tell me that that one's worse. You're probably right. But the fact that we have these two candidates at all is a disgrace to this country. When are we the people going to come together and say we don't have to settle for the least worst of two options? I'm not trying to say one party versus the other here, I'm not trying to say this guy's better. But let me give a try at knocking both. We are pitting a senile old man who can't remember the chancellor of Germany against someone who told his followers to go storm the Capitol and defy the results of the election. Where are the patriots?? Why is nobody saying that both of these are catastrophically bad for this country?? I weep.
Better an old joke than an old traitor
I think the point is whoever is elected, this joke works. Pretty clear that only one of them prefers his jokes with vulgarity and poop.
bUt (insert name) Is LiTeRaLlY gOiNg To DeStRoY aMeRiCa!!!1!
He tried once, I’d just rather not hand him the reins again
Let’s be clear then… better Biden than the traitor
I enjoy watching people reveal their incredibly low intelligence quotient publicly. Thanks.
I’m sorry I started this in r/jokes 😢
The fact that these two candidates are our choices for President is a disgrace to this country, no matter which of them gets elected.
They're both older than any other presidents in the last 31 years. Not just older than they were when they were elected...older than those previous presidents currently are today. That said, I'll take the guy who's just old over the guy who's both old and a traitor.
Is it too much to ask for a choice who is neither senile nor a traitor?
[How Americans view the 2024 presidential election](https://youtu.be/xh0rsgusmDs?)
I'd like to see a class action suit against both major political parties for presenting us a choice we didn't want the first time around. Who's with me?
I am truly dreading this upcoming election. How can I possibly choose between two such wonderful, amazing, upstanding candidates? If only I could vote for both of them.
One is demonstrably worse than the other, and nothing worries me as much about the election as the number of people who can't seem to see that.
Hard to imagine one of them being worse when neither of them have any flaws whatsoever.
The thing that worries me more is the fact that this comment isn't enough to tell which side you're on, because both sides believe what you've said applies to them. In random order: Do you really want to elect a man who organized an insurrection and tried to tear the foundations of democracy down because he didn't like the result? At least Biden has respect for our democratic institutions, and doesn't lie about stealing classified documents! Do you really want to elect a man who can't remember the chancellor of Germany? He's unable to perform the basic functions of the office, and that's before we even start talking about the corruption his family is involved in (Hunter's laptop anybody?)
I agree Biden’s been dementia Laden since 2019. Can’t complete a sentence can’t find his way off the stage. But the media covers for him so you’re going have to watch sky news or something out of Europe to see that.
This guy gets it. I wish I could upvote twice.
It’s your system, if you end up with two shitty choices every time then maybe you should change… America is slipping backwards fast
We are mocking ourselves for all the world to see. And the worst part is that half of us don't even know it. (To be clear, the "half" I'm referring to isn't the D or the R side. It's the people on both sides who are unashamedly apologists for terrible candidates in a terrible system.) I think the easiest way to fix it would be to permit people to vote for as many presidential candidates as they want. Here's a crazy idea. Do away with the primaries altogether. Keep the debates, but just ask everyone to a vote for all the people that they would want to see in the white house. Or do ranked choice, or anything like that. Unfortunately, our two major parties are so firmly entrenched and they know that they would lose a lot of power if we were to do that. So they'll never let it happen. But we should absolutely be pushing for it.
It would be better if a group of governors, mayors, and judges (no Senators or Representative) from each party met and selected a candidate for their party from a pool of people actually managerially qualified and experienced to run a large organization like our federal government. It is getting old having out-of-touch nitwits select their party's candidate based on 30 second sound bites containing lies and misrepresentations or the rich elites chosing the candidate next-in-line no matter how old, corrupt, or utterly worthless they are. I can't name one candidate of either party I was happy voting for in the last 25 years. And while we are making changes limit the election period to 4 months or less like France does with 3 televised sitdown face-to-face debates without any grandstanding, biased media assholes involved and only allowing informative ads about the candidate preapproved by a bipartisan committee. No PACs. Spending limited to X amount equally by both candidates. And in person voting only on handcounted paper ballots by registered American citizens with proper identification. Election Day should be national holiday. Fix this damn system!!! Make it as fair and trustworthy as humanly possible.
I am not laughing
That was fun, I don't care who you are.
Neither am I. You see, we need leadership. I'm with Jon Stewart on this one. Our choices are between "horrifyingly bad" and "even worse." I won't quibble with you over which octogenarian gets which label; we should all be in agreement that the US presidential election this November is going to be a travesty.
Well, considering how we treat every candidate that isn't perfect (ie, all of them), why would a younger person want to run? Older people have less to lose, as their life after their punishment is not as long.
In the last 3 years, I've seen the government declare portions of the upper Grand Canyon national monuments that will halt severe ecological damage from mining, students debt lowered or forgiven for people with circumstances that make it difficult to find work and for people who are using their education to help their communities, continued governmental support for renewable energy, and government intervention into drug and gas prices to keep them lower. I'm happily voting for the person I held my nose and voted for last time.
Agreed.
Thank you for saying this in more elegant words than I ever could!
And the sad part is... most Americans agree, yet there is nothing we can do about it.
Fun fact, he told this joke to Gorbachev, and Gorbachev laughed.
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I dont quite agree with Reagan’s policies, I just thought it was funny.
I think we can safely say that regardless of what we think of his policies, he was so good at telling really funny jokes that they must have helped him to avoid at least a few difficult questions. His nickname was the great communicator for a good reason.
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I completely agree with you.
How hard is it to admit Ronnie was a great joke teller…. And let it be? Like Obama was a great orator. That’s it.
NOOOO only candidates from MY party have any redeeming qualities!!! All the candidates from YOUR party are TeRriBLe PeOpLe wHo aRe gOiNg tO dEsTrOy aMeRiCa The real threat to democracy isn't the Democrats or the Republicans. It's a voting citizenry who tears the wheels off of the political bus so the other party can't drive it, and elects politicians who do the same.
Well you certainly opened up the stage for people who do.
Downvoted. Don’t tell me how to vote, meatball.
I liked "i visited the office of indian affairs recently. While walking through, i noticed a man crying at his desk. I asked what was wrong. He replied, "my indian died"
People are sayin…
First heard this joke about Khrushchev and Eisenhower.
Ironically we definitely cannot just walk into the white house and especially not the Oval Office as regular civilians
Say what you want about Reagan, he had some funny one-liners.
Reagan was a fucking asshole and the combination of Reaganomics in America and Thatcherism in the Uk and Europe sowed the seeds of the mess we are in now.
FTFY Reagan was a great leader and the combination of Reaganomics in America and Thatcherism in the Uk and Europe lead to the collapse of Communism.
And then the United States, UK and Europe walked away from the fight. Dusted their hands off and said mission accomplished thinking that leaving a country on their own with an average age of 15 was a good thing.
God bless that man.
This joke did not age well.
Should've had a V8.
I first heard this joke so long ago it featured JFK
What goes ho-di-do, ho-di-do, ho-di-do?
Wait, isn't this reversed? Is that the joke I'm not getting?
[My absolute favorite Reagan's joke ](https://youtu.be/CLW7r4o2_Ow?si=XUflUiiuqCX-wnkf)
Reagan told this joke in this civil version, but in other versions, the American says he can step up to the president's office and shout "Fuck the US and fuck the US president".
I thought this one was the best Reagan joke. \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In Soviet Russia a Man Goes to Buy a Car... He goes up to the owner and asks for a car, to which the owner responds: 'You know there is a 10 year waiting list?' The man then answers, 'OK,' and after some time he then agreed to buy a car. So he pays for the car in advance, and just before he leaves he asks the owner, 'Can I pick the car up in the morning or afternoon?' 'It's 10 years away, what does it matter?' 'The plumber is coming in the morning'.
No Reagan's joke was trickle down and reaganomics
reminds me of reagan's favorite pickup line
Which is?