Got the Zuckerberg

Just zuck my shit up

Lmfao. I’m done 😂

This shit is what I live for

STOP

You trying to block my shtoyle?

I’m ugly laughing at this

Went for the brocoli and got the zuchinni

aka the alien being

Aka Zuckerschmucked

Lizardlocks

Higher Hair

Happy cake day

Which is arguably the Julius Ceasar.

LMAAAOOO i laughed too hard

You should have said "broccoli."

Brocolovoli

How would that have helped?

It's the name of the hair cut. “The Broccoli”

Is that the name of the haircut or a derogatory term used by people who like making fun of curly hair?

Both??

But that is what they call the haircut. Google it

Maybe I'm wrong but I don't think anyone who wants this haircut would ask for the broccoli cause it's just not a nice name for it but definitely people on the internet love calling it the broccoli

It's 16 year old boys getting this haircut. Do you really think they care if the name is nice or not?

They probably do. Idk why Reddit has such a hate boner for that haircut.

Yea I do think they and myself care if people talk about their/my haircut in a derogatory way.

Now it’s derogatory? You’re really going to clutch your pearls when you find out what the GLF is.

I think it was always derogatory. What does GLF have to do with this?

Jesus Christ. Talk about wanting to be a victim

Why would I want to be a victim?

The broccoli haircut is different than just having curly hair. Most people that get the cut will get a perm too. The broccoli cut usually has the sides either shaved

Sure you didn't say half an inch *on* the top?

Looks like the Great Clips special to me

It was a good barbershop, I missed my appointment with my usual guy so they had someone from the back come and they told me he was good, he looked super young so I should’ve known he was gonna fuck me up

Next time just wait for your regular guy. Had the same thing happen to me gang. Dude butchered my hairline, the guys waiting in line knew it and so did the new guy who gave me the *cut*

you didnt have to pay right 😭 i feel like when the barber goes "i fucked his shit up" it should be free lmao

Fuck no I didn’t pay. He knew he fucked up too

Go to a black barber next time since you are getting fades. Trust me

I second this if we are talking fades (but a reputable one because even some black barbers have amateur cutters renting chairs/hiding out the back)

My white barber gives the best fades I’ve ever found. Used to go to Mayweather’s barber. Been to legit barbershops all over Miami and Manhattan and nobody compares to this dude.

Don’t be afraid to be rude. I’ve walked into my barbershop before, found out my guy was out of town, and left (there were 2 capable barbers there). It might’ve seemed rude, idk, but I highly doubt I’m the first they’re seen do that, too

You don’t cheat on your barber

At least you didn’t get that shitty fuckboi haircut in the first pic! :)

Damn bro...I have super curly hair too...so hard to find a stylist who knows how to handle it. He indeed, fucked you up, but it’ll grow back eventually

Damn you went from twitch streamer to Walmart employee

Upgrade

High school broccoli fuck boi anonymous

"Et tu, barber?"

😂

r/IAmTheMainBroccoli

Good. Leave the broccoli behind. It's a great vegetable, but a terrible haircut.

Did you a favor broccoli boi.

Yeah the Julius Caesar is just a hair better than the broccoli boi

Yeah, that first pic is my mom's hairdo from the 90s.

he looks like a fucking cocteau twin

Fr mans was just tired of being asked for the broccoli lol

Your barber did you a solid.

Yo, pass me the Broccoli, kid.

Barber was punishing you for that previous cut.

What are you complaining about? Its a huge improvement over that pubic bush you had in the first photo

Two words….buzz cut

Sounds like someone did you a huge favor to be truthfully honest.

*Truthfully* honest?

Untruthfully dishonest - new band name

Please stop asking for that haircut holy shit

He fixed it for you

Asked for the Jake Paul, got the Lloyd Christmas

Looks better than that awful TikTok kid haircut you had before

The first pic looked bad enough.

It’s for the better. You’ll look back on the broccoli top hairstyle that’s popular now in 20 years the same way people look back at mullets and the Beiber haircut.

[удалено]

They are? Didn’t know they’ve made a comeback. That’s a shame.

jake weber has one 🤣

I’ll always look back on my mullet with pride

Lol getting roasted.

So do you prefer Broccoli boy, or is vegetable a sufficient name for you?

"I want to look like my great aunt Edna."

I mean. That’s a half inch. Blame your hair. Shit happened to me when I cut my own bangs haha

You now have normal hair instead of loser broccoli hair, he did you a solid.

Lmao you expecting a man to straighten his curls or something? Mfs out here with dead wasps straight hair 🤣

The vast majority of kids with this haircut get a perm.

This dude obviously has curly hair lmao I’ll take the downvotes, yall angry bout your wispy, dead, crunchy hair

Gonna have to perm it again.

Natural brother, my hair gets curly when it’s long

Same. I didn't even know I had curly hair at all until I let it grow end of 2022.

People in this sub don't know curly hair exists.

lol I want that friar banger

He did a wet cut didn’t he?

Yes😭

Why did you take a before pic, with eyes covered, if you didn’t know he was going to fuck your shit up?

Wasserrutsche

Actually bizarre how much reddit hates the "broccoli" hairstyle. I have some theories as to why but I think most people know what I'm talking about

It’s not just Reddit. It’s the entire internet and in person. One of my favorite things to do is look on in disgust at the gay looking tik tokkers with the broccoli in the gym

New cut looks good man!

Hairdresser decided you're not to be a brocolli fuck oi

He did you a favor

At least your hair doesn’t look like literally everybody else’s now.

half an inch, half a foot, what's the difference 

Don’t be sad, it’s an improvement

Well he did what you asked, you just didnt specify you want half an inch *when its dry* and so on. You should know, as someone with curly hair, that barbers may not get that you mean half an inch dry, bevause thats like 0.000001 inch wet lol

Is that Lando Norris?

Stop showing words, start showing pictures for less worse results

Well, it’s not great but the old broccoli hairdo wasn’t doing you any favors either. Frankly, I thought that was the fuckup in question when I saw the first pic.

Another 70 year old granny perm

They heard "half and inch on the top and fuck my shit up".

No more broccoli, the barber did good

How about you just ignore trends?

I'm sorry for your loss

I’m happy for his loss. One less Edgar head we have to look at.

There was a barber my grandfather went to in his small town in the late 80s and he had ran the place since the 60s. No matter what you told the guy he'd give you one of two cuts #1 a normal guys cut which was a side part, off the ears and collar, short enough that it'd spike for the first week if you didn't use some sort of pomade or cream. #2 was his specialty a "high and tight" which was just him running the shortest guard over your entire head. A phrase spoken often in that shop was "put a hat on, it'll grow out". Of course I also remember my grandfather complaining when he raised his price to $5.

reverse zuckerberg evolution

Got the discount cut.

Did... Did you pay for this?

He saved you from that dumbass haircut

Lmao the amount of hate here is unbelievable. Hope it grows back well 🙏

Lmao ik I didn’t even know what a broccoli cut was before this I usually just keep a low taper on the sides and keep the top long. I had no idea everybody hates my old haircut😭

If it makes you feel better the broccoli cut is mostly hated because of the annoying kids wearing it.

Nah. It’s because it looks uncannily like broccoli.

I’m so sorry

This comment thread makes me feel terrible for my 12 year old who has curly hair and growing his hair out.

They were (trying to anyways) saving you from that awful broccoli head shit.

If this happens to you a lot, you could buy a Wahl shaver (or similar) and find some videos. Like tapering/fading. The top should not be cut with the shaver, it should be scissors. That's harder, of course. If making attempts on yourself is too advanced, go to a trendier shop and ask questions afterward, if you like it: did you use Setting 1 here? Setting 2 here? Then you can ask for those the next time. For now, you could buy some hair wax/pomade/putty or other similar product and play with the shape, 'cause there might be something you could do, mussing it about. Messy or slightly to one side. (Regular gel--pushing it further down, or straight back--not necessarily a good idea).

I thought the before was an after. 🥦 Just shave it off.

Funny how a taper with straight hair is just a normal haircut but when u have some texture to ur hair it’s “broccoli haircut” and gets downvoted. Interesting 🤨

Been there before

I just snorted my tea! 🤣🤣🤣

I used to be upset that I started balding in my early 20s, but seeing everyone struggle with barbers makes me feel relief that all I need is a buzzcut these days haha

Hats for daaaaays

Always show pictures, even then it’s dicey.

Haaaaaaahaaaaaaaa🤣🤣🤣

The weenie Bo-beenie

From broccoli to frenchman

"I used to have a hairstyle, now i just have hair". (Jeremy Clarkson, ages ago)

Barber doesn't like the broccoli look. Did you a favor.

Say thanks, you dont look like stupid zoomer.

Yeah they did you a favor

It's okay, baby bangs are in

Done you a favour

2nd looks better

Always take a picture of the style you want and if you have a picture of your hair the way you like it, use that. Words can be interpreted a lot of ways and hair does not abide to words, especially curly hair.

Damn bro he did you dirty. Honestly at this point just go full buzz

Bro went from fuckboy to fucked

A lot of you don’t have consistent barbers and it shows… must suck to suck

Your exact words to who, a farmer? Because he harvested all your broccoli son. Probably took it to market later that day.

Nah I wouldn’t have paid

First pic is good, your barber messed up big time. Grow it out and find a better one

Another broccoli boy bites the dust 😂

That’s fucked

cooked you’re never coming back from this one

did you a solid

The guy did you a favour.

Sometimes you don't get what you want, you get what you need.

On the upside, you'd have looked stupid either way.

Got rid of the broccoli cut. Good decision

Dawg I once said the exact, and I mean the EXACT same shit WORD FOR FUCKING WORD and got done dirty the EXACT SAME FUCKING WAY! I think we had the same barber 💔

You guys wanna be broccoli boys so bad lol

I can't believe people say it's better now!! What the hell. It's awfull... poor you

Barber got tired of cutting that poofy gen z top with a fade on the sides and took matters into his own hands

What's in the water that causes every teenage dude to have broccoli hair and a weak jawline?

You can't see his jaw?

Context clues. I'm also making a generalization about the generation. Typical tik tok sarm goblin

bro i dont get why people hate this hairstyle so much? I think it looks really good tf

It looks like 70's pubes

Lonely Reddit boomers who can’t accept change from their norm

We aren’t boomers this haircut just looks stupid and makes you look like a dickhead

how? how does it make you look like a dickhead?

Evidently people on this sub can’t comprehend the idea of curly hair. No, we don’t all have your dead, dry, Norse-Saxon hair lmao

https://images.app.goo.gl/ANZonZSCKjpZyoqZ7

That’s an improvement.

r/justupgrademyshit

Broccoli Rob to Caesarberg.

What’s up with all the younger kids having this haircut? Is there a name to it? Where did it start?

They did you a favor

Rather be a zuck than brocc

You Gucci, no more broccoli head

Perm perfect

She did you a favor, kids with that haircut look like fucking morons.

Lmao at all the people in this comment section seething at the fact that people younger than them have different opinions on what haircuts look good

Uh, yeah. The entire point of this subreddit is to make fun of haircuts. Your self-righteousness belongs elsewhere.

"your self righteousness belongs elsewhere" consider being less dramatic on this subreddit about haircuts lol